Thursday Morning Links

by | Apr 9, 2020 | Daily Links | 753 comments

Day 3,125, took the girls out to fly kites.  Not so much fly kites as much as it was having them run in circles in an empty parking lot as there was little to no wind.  The girls enjoyed it and that’s all that matters.

 

Is it just me or are Democrats enjoying this and want it to last forever?

 

Defense official shoots down dubious ABC report that there was intel warning about the Kung flu back in November.

 

Unintended consequences you say?

 

Unpossible.

 

Staples refuses to pay their rent despite being open.

 

The recession is already here.

 

Mortgage forbearance requests up 2,000%.

 

Trump will look at possible pardon for the Tiger King.

 

I mentioned this in the comments yesterday, but I’ll add it here.  If you scroll down to the end you’ll see the totals of Deaths from All Causes, they’re down.  The CDC regularly updates the numbers, but there is a downward trend of deaths in the US.  The quarantine is going to save more lives from car accidents, the flu, and accidental medical deaths (due to the cancellation of elective procedures) than from the actual virus.

 

That’s all I got for today.  I’ll leave you with a song and move along with my day.

About The Author

Banjos

Banjos

Wife of sloopy, mother to three bright, curious, and highly active young girls. Perpetually exhausted.

753 Comments

  1. Pat

    Unintended consequences you say?

    Foreseeable consequences…. ah fuck it.

    • Patio

      The modern alchemists turn iron into silly putty.

    • AlexinCT

      This was the intent of the people that asked for this. Mark my words.

  2. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Multiple landlords tell Axios that Staples reached out within the past 72 hours to inform them of its decision. It didn’t propose any sort of deferred payments, nor would it pledge to pay May rents. At the same time, the landlords remain expected to maintain such services as utilities and sanitation.

    “They basically told me it was my problem,” one landlord explained. “They’re taking advantage of a crisis — we’re not allowed to do evictions right now and, even if we could, imagine the PR nightmare of kicking out an ‘essential service.'”
    “I could stop sweeping the parking lot, but I’ve got a supermarket in the same plaza,” adds another landlord. “I also have an Office Depot in a different property, which is Staples’ closest competitor, and they paid their April rent. … Staples as an anchor tenant pays less per square foot than the smaller stores, which we’re working with because their revenue went to zero, but apparently they don’t care at all about those mom-and-pops or the smaller [landlords] that have only one or two anchors.”

    I guess I’m done shopping at Staples.

    • leon

      but I thought all landlord’s were the big guy?!?

    • Count Potato

      Christ, what a bunch of assholes.

    • Trigger Hippie

      That was my thought as well.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      I don’t think I have been in a Staples in over 10 years.

      • AlexinCT

        Same. And now it looks like I will not be going to one in the foreseeable future either.

    • Rebel Scum

      Yeah, seeing as how they cant seem to hold it together.

    • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

      Just like the banks!

      When you’re a little guy and you won’t pay the landlord, you’re in trouble.
      When you’re a big guy and you won’t pay the landlord, the landlord’s in trouble.

    • l0b0t

      The 3 Staples locations nearest me (1 in Brooklyn, 1 in Queens, 1 in Lawn Guyland) are all closed as non-essential. They are the second best choice for obtaining SodaStream CO2 cylinders after the coupon cornucopia of Bed Bath Beyond. With both of those chains closed, I had to get CO2 at Target… an expensive nightmare.

  3. straffinrun

    The girls enjoyed it and that’s all that matters.

    My motto as well. Morning/Evening.

    • Banjos

      Mornin’

  4. The Late P Brooks

    The girls enjoyed it and that’s all that matters.

    You’re a good mom, banjos.

    • straffinrun

      Way to make me sound like a perv in comparison.

      • Ted S.

        But you are, Straff, you *are* a perv!

      • AlexinCT

        Wear that badge with pride, yo!

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        In comparison?

    • Banjos

      Thanks, Brooksie. I try to be.

  5. Nephilium

    As the lieutenant governor of Ohio has said, get laid off from a high paying job? Why not work at the hand sanitizer company, Amazon, or food delivery services?

    • Pat

      Just like him

  6. Pat

    Staples refuses to pay their rent despite being open.

    To be fair, nobody knew they were open before the ‘rona either.

    • Rhywun

      I’m surprised they’re open now. Essential business…?

      • Drake

        Are they open? Or just sharing the pain?

      • Drake

        Just checked – local Staples open as “Essential for Learning”.

      • AlexinCT

        Learning how to cheat the system and not pay your bills?

      • Count Potato

        Office supplies are essential to “essential” businesses.

      • Fourscore

        They could add carry out food to their business model. Gotta think outside the box these days.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        +1 receptionist hard candy

  7. Donation Not Taxation

    Have any Glibs watched The Tiger King?

    • AlmightyJB

      I haven’t. Co-workers spent about 20 minutes of our last staff meeting talking about it.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Same here.

      • leon

        Since I started working remote I lost my only connection to pop culture, since I don’t have Netflix.

    • Nephilium

      Why would I watch that trash? And the PETA woman is the one I really hate, and I’m entertained that the case of her dead husband has been reopened. The Doc is a standard cult grifter, so just the standard dislike in that case.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        ‘Why would I watch that trash? ‘
        A lot of non-Glibs apparently do. It’s the #1 watched origfinal to Netfix show this year. But you are not a non-Glib.
        ‘is the one I really hate’
        Been told that hating everyone on that show is supposed to be part of the appeal, but that hearsay did not come with an online citation.

      • Festus

        The Ozarks is supposed to be really solid but Wifey watches baking shows so…

      • AlexinCT

        Yeah, started watching Ozarks with the girlfriend cause she was told it was the bomb. I remain underwhelmed although the cast is a lot of big names and I have passably enjoyed things from many of these people before.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        A libertarian-friendly(ish) series on Netflix that I found was Exhibit A.

        Each episode takes a case where a certain type of forensic evidence is used to convict somebody, and on further review, it’s fairly obvious, or at least plenty obvious to have created reasonable doubt, that the person in jail on the forensic evidence was innocent. Episode 1 was video, episode 2 was blood spatter, episode 3 was cadaver dogs…

      • Nephilium

        The joke was that quite a few of us have discussed it in the comments since it came out. I think most of the people on the show made wildly different life choices then me, but I’m not going to hate most of them for it. I wouldn’t want them to come over to my house, I wouldn’t want to be around firearms with them, but I’d be willing to chat with them at a local bar.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I always assume that “hate” in the context of a TV show doesn’t mean personal animosity, but simply “sees as an antagonist in the story”, at least thats how I use it.

      • Not Adahn

        ^this.

        Exactly one of the characters is trying to interfere with my life.

        I guess some people think that the others are immoral and deserving of hate for that reason, but a) that’s not the way I think and b) I’m not entirely sure that what they are doing is immoral. Why is it immoral to euthanize a tiger without a veterinarian license? And I was really surprised to learm that a .410 was the tool of choice for that purpose.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      Yes, it was hilarious. I kinda feel bad for Joe Exotic, but there are very few people in that show that I didn’t hate to one extent or another.

      • Festus

        So like Survivor or Cheers?

      • Festus

        That Festus feller is pretty solid.

      • Fourscore

        Well, Son, you hit that one outta the park

      • Endless Mike

        Sang like an angel, too.

      • Annoyed Nomad

        Yes, my wife and I watched it. It’s train wreck “I can’t believe there’s people like that” hilarious.

    • Rhywun

      Not even if I could. Why that has been the #2 news topic for weeks now is a complete fucking mystery to me.

      • The Hyperbole

        People are idiots. What’s the mystery?

      • Festus

        From Hype’s lips to Satan’s ears.

    • UnCivilServant

      It sounds like a train wreck. I’m anti-interested, as in I am not only not interested, but I’d rather not hear about it.

      • Tejicano

        /\/\/\/\THIS – I believe I’ve heard references to a main character being in jail but can’t raise the interest to click on anything and find out what that’s about.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Oklahoma Man makes a change from Florida Man?

      • Tejicano

        You understand I haven’t the slightest glimmer of an idea what you’re on about? I know what a “Florida Man” is but the rest may as well be in Uzbek.

      • BakedPenguin
    • bacon-magic

      No. If I want to see what Meth does I read the afternoon links. (it’s just a joke don’t cat-butt meh)

      • AlexinCT

        Sure you were joking delicious meat treat!

    • Pine_Tree

      We’re one of those smug “we don’t have TV” families, so I don’t watch anything. Seems like everybody else in the universe has, though, based on how pervasive references have become.

    • Not Adahn

      Yep.

      Watched it, enjoyed it. Didn’t think it was too crazy, but then again I worked as a rennie, managed a band, and lived with strippers.

      I also think that most people are just as bad as the people in the show but never get a chance to demonstrate it.

      • Not Adahn

        Oh, and I have a deep suspicion that the second worst person was the person who made the show. But only becasue they weren’t going to congress to lobby to have their competitors shut down.

    • Endless Mike

      When I first saw the preview, I thought, “Wow I really want to miss the hell out that!”

      Now I feel like it’s the seventies, and everyone is saying “Aaaaayyyyy!” and “Dyn-o-mite!” and I have no idea what anyone is talking about.

      I mean, I don’t WANT to watch it, but I don’t want to be the only kid eating by himself at lunch, either.

      • UnCivilServant

        Don’t give in to peer pressure.

      • ChipsnSalsa

        gooble gobble one of us

      • Not Adahn

        Yeah, I got peer pressured into wathcing it. But I liked it.

        And frankly, the characters were overall more likeable than the ones in Breaking Bad or Ozark.

      • l0b0t

        My tastes are seemingly out of sync with my fellow citizens. Tiger King is something that by all rights should appeal to me but I don’t really care for the tabloid sensationalism. I LOVE Ozark. I was turned on to it a few days ago by a dear friend and I’ve binged all but the last 3 episodes. Laura Linney has held my heart since Armistead Maupin’s: Tales Of The City, Michael Bluth is always awesome, the white-trash girl with the curly hair is hot, and the daughter is perfectly cast as awkward teen girl (she looks like a Persian cat that just licked a nettle). I tried to watch Breaking Bad but didn’t make it past the first 10 minutes; couldn’t stand watching Malcolm’s father have such a downward spiral.

  8. Donation Not Taxation

    ‘Wife of sloopy, mother to three bright, curious, and highly active young girls. Perpetually exhausted.’

    Banjos, how much more ‘exhausted’ are you with them home all day?

    • AlmightyJB

      It’s Sloopy that’s exhausting, not the kids:) lol.

    • Donation Not Taxation

      Except, for example, outing to a parking lot.

    • Banjos

      I get most of my work done in the early morning. Once they are up it’s quite hectic. I can choose to get them to do school work or get my work done. It’s impossible to do both. If I choose my work, it comes with having to clean up whatever mess they leave behind in their wake. My daughter’s Kindergarten teacher first told me that as long as I was reading with to her to not worry. Then came back and told me that unfortunately new guidelines she was given makes it so she has to have proof of some kind of school work at home. So now I have to do something with her everyday and send in proof to the teacher. My 1st grader has an online program that she is too advanced for that she bitches about doing everyday. My 4 year old spends her day torturing our cat.

      • Festus

        Purr-fect!

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        My 4 year old spends her day torturing our cat.

        Ah yes, the almost-3 year old enjoys that, too. She chased one of the cats enough that he took a swipe at her.

      • Spartacus

        Yeah, one or two swats from kitteh is usually enough to end that.

      • Spartacus

        “…she has to have proof of some kind of school work at home. So now I have to do something with her everyday and send in proof to the teacher.”

        Or else, what? Do they revoke your teaching certificate?

      • R C Dean

        Lemme guess. Pubsec teacher gets full pay for an hour’s work a day, maybe. Banjos gets zero pay for doing pubsec teacher’s job, and pays for the privilege via taxes.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Public schools is one of those things where I’m 100% on board with DNT’s schtick. They should be run on donations. Make the government school advocates put their money where their mouth is.

      • Banjos

        Fail my daughter, I guess.

      • Spartacus

        They probably just need proof of “attendance” in order not to get their budget cut. In most places, school budgets are based on average daily attendance, and even though society has collapsed they still need to take attendance so they can justify next year’s budget request.

      • RBS

        My wife and I have been alternating who stays home and who goes into the office on the days I’m not on shift with the FD. When I’m home I just focus on getting the 7 year old to get his work done in the morning while I play with the 2 year old so we can all play after the 2 year wakes up from his nap. My wife does the opposite and tries to WFH.

      • Festus

        Daughters all work for the Gubmint. They’re loving this. Feel sorry for their Hubbies who all happen to be contractors.

      • Bobarian LMD

        In new world, everyone work for government, Comrade!

      • robc

        At 11:45, my 4 year old has 30 minutes of Montessori by zoom.

        Can you imagine 25 3-6 year olds on zoom? It is only slightly more organized than a work conference call.

      • Festus

        Did you visit Friday night?

      • robc

        Yes, I was the overweight geek.

        Actually, no that wasnt me.

        I have lost 8-9 pounds, no free snacks at home.

      • Festus

        J/kidding Rob! Were all atrocious.

      • BakedPenguin

        Off topic – robc, on a thread last night, you mentioned Badnarik. I’d forgotten about him, but I’m sure I voted for him. I mean Bush or Kerry? Yeah….no.

        Let me amend my previous statement to “Browne was the last libertarian Libertarian candidate I remembered“.

      • blackjack

        My kid has really massively advanced since I’ve been homeschooling him. I only really do a couple of hours of work, as against the 7 hours of quasi prison school, but he’s really shot forward from it. I almost wish I could not have to work so I could teach him (not really, but for his sake, yeah.)

      • robc

        I will be interested to see the change in rate of home schooling after this has passed. While anyone who was previously homeschooling isnt going to change their mind, some of were sending their kids to school might decide to start homeschooling. it will be interesting to see how large the bump is.

      • AlexinCT

        Lots of parents are too lazy to do it, and despite seeing the difference, will prefer to send their kids back to publicly funded daycare.

      • robc

        Yes, but some small number will see the benefit and follow thru.

      • Mojeaux

        XY has been doing the virtual school thing as is everyone else in our district. Things I have noticed:

        1) He is a lot calmer.
        2) He is a lot less of a drama prince.

        This could be also be because he has a boyfriend he messages every day and I noticed the same when XX had a boyfriend. Everything was right in her world, happy happy joy joy. But oh, when it ended… *headdesk*

        He is also cut off from most of the internet.

        So minus school drama, minus the internet, something to keep his mind occupied, I don’t have to conduct homeschool, everything good.

      • R C Dean

        Do you think he is seeing the connection between his mental state and school/current friends/ internet?

      • Mojeaux

        No idea. He plays his cards very close to his vest. If I were to guess, I would say no, because he almost always bases his conclusions on bad assumptions. We have to constantly backtrack to his assumptions to get to the heart of the issue. Only when he is made to see that his assumption is wrong does he wise up.

        That said, I think there are several things at play here:

        1. I took him to therapy, and we were lucky to get a good one right off the bat.
        2. I took his lawnmowing business away from him and he didn’t think I’d ever do that.
        3. I won’t let him work on the broken lawnmower because he broke it (and the last expensive lawnmower we had) and that’s one reason I took his lawnmowing business away from him.
        4. Emancipation is always on the table, but as a “hey, if this is what you really want, let’s plan it so it doesn’t backfire on all of us way. It can turn into “if you don’t like it here that much, get out.” That is one reason I want him to get a job, so he can see what it’s like working for someone who won’t have to put up with his shit.
        5. He has made me cry a lot in the last 6 months and he hates that. Praising him to high heaven or screaming my head off are normal. Making me cry means he crossed my line. I do NOT do that on purpose. I do it when I don’t know what else to do.

        I don’t bluff. I don’t play.

        What I do do is forget why and for how long I’m punishing him and what the punishment is. So generally he will behave long enough to placate me into forgetting WTF’s going on. But I’ve started keeping track and I told him so.

        I do take comfort in the fact that he is a nice kid and not in the least bit evil. He’s short-sighted, impulsive, and destructive, he has mental issues and is way too easily swayed by his friends and the latest fads, but he’s a good kid and when he’s doing what he’s supposed to be doing I tell him that, I tell him I appreciate it, and I tell him that often. He says, “Okay.”

        All I really have to do is love him and make sure he knows I do, but in the meantime, I have to keep him from harming himself (by accident or on purpose) and us, and making sure he doesn’t pull the house down around us and I don’t usually know how to do that.

      • Not Adahn

        If you give him and his boyfriend a few hours a day of unsupervised alone time, he will be much more mellow.

        And you don’t need to worry about pregnancy!

      • UnCivilServant

        Bigot! Men can get pregnant too!

        /proggie

      • Mojeaux

        They communicate via text. He has the run of my municipality if he wants it and the boyfriend doesn’t live far away.

        However, he’s broken his bike (natch), doesn’t have the money to fix it (nope, not gonna pay for it AGAIN), and can’t go anywhere unless he walks, which he apparently does not want to do.

      • Not Adahn

        A teenage male… too lazy to get laid?

        I don’t understand the world anymore.

      • Mojeaux

        Welcome to teenage boyhood these days. They don’t seem to be interested.

        It’s all about SJWing or avoiding SJWing.

        Shockingly, XX tells me that girls who “do it” get a disapproving side-eye.

        It is 2020, right?

      • The Last American Hero

        Well what is a bigger sign that The Patriarchy is winning than a girl doing…that?

      • R C Dean

        He’s short-sighted, impulsive, and destructive, he has mental issues and is way too easily swayed by his friends and the latest fads,

        “Your honor, I swear I’ve never met that woman, so there is no way her kid could be my son.”

      • Gustave Lytton

        My daughter’s Kindergarten teacher first told me that as long as I was reading with to her to not worry. Then came back and told me that unfortunately new guidelines she was given makes it so she has to have proof of some kind of school work at home.

        Christ. What little I remember of kindergarten, it was a half day and the school work was basically playtime with a snack in the middle.

      • Mojeaux

        Don’t forget the nap!

      • Bobarian LMD

        I hated the nap… Lay there in the semi-dark, twiddling my thumbs, or getting in trouble for not sleeping.

        I do recall getting to see a couple of the matronly teachers girdles when they stepped over me, which was weirdly thrilling at 5 years old.

      • Jarflax

        I hated the nap

        Things I never expected to see on this site.

      • Endless Mike

        It’s important to make the theater as realistic as possible. Can’t have people thinking that they can do just fine without a public education system.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        If they discover kindergarten is bullshit, what will they think about pre-k expansion?

      • l0b0t

        My kindergartner almost always comes home with more homework than my 4th grader. They (and my soon-to-be-ex-wife middle-school teacher) are using Google Classroom and it works quite well. Son (kindergarten) has daily reading, math, phonics, writing, science, and social studies work. Some printed out, some written in a notebook, all photographed and submitted through the Classroom application.
        I would also push back against RC Dean’s earlier comment. There is a tremendous amount of work on the back end for the teachers. Particularly for those (a surprising majority) who have never before touched a video camera or editing software. SLD – they ARE home, still drawing full paychecks funded by theft.

  9. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I don’t think the CDC data on deaths is complete yet. It probably takes them a month or two to bring it up to date.

    That said, I know their guidance has been to count any respiratory failure death as COVID, which is bullshit.

    • AlexinCT

      Someone was saying that not just in the US, but in many other counties, the medical people are being told or volunteer to ascribe death to COVID19 (sometimes even when unconfirmed) because the people that predicted mass graves are now worried since the numbers will not bear out that scenario, their credibility will be shot..

      As if finding out they are doing sloppy shit like this will not destroy more than their credibility…

    • invisible finger

      robc has had links in the past that break down the C19 deaths into categories. As long as breakdowns like that are being provided somewhere, I can ignore the dramatic numbers discussed elsewhere.

  10. Swiss Servator

    If this is confirmed about Staples, they have just lost my business….for as long as they are owned by the current group.

    • leon

      I’m betting they go out of biz, sell off the brand (if it’s worth much anymore).

    • Nephilium

      Cheesecake Factory announced the same a couple weeks back, and a quick search shows at least one gym chain (Equinox, never heard of it) doing the same. When I did a grocery store run the other day, I wound up chatting with a bartender at a place I had frequented. He mentioned that the first thing they were going to do when they could reopen is dump all of the beer (I really hope he just meant the out of code/past expiration beer), and this is a place with a dozen taps, and a beer list over a page deep.

      • Swiss Servator

        NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • Nephilium

        Swiss, if that hurts. Some idiots out there thought that turning the entries to the World Beer Cup into hand sanitizer would be a positive story. They took world class beers, and destroyed them. I would have rather a group of people just sat down and drank them then for that to happen. Especially considering if you assume a 7% average ABV, each 12 ounce bottle would produce less then 1 ounce of hand sanitizer.

      • Swiss Servator

        Also, NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

      • Not Adahn

        After the renfair closes, the beer vendors open all the taps. All the resident workers show up with every containiner they can muster.

      • robc

        At least with CF, they arent getting any revenue, so its understandable.

      • Endless Mike

        Shit, most of our locally owned bars (town of 8500, largest metropolitan area for 150 miles in any direction) have at least a dozen taps, one has over 40. That would be a sad, sad, day.

    • Tonio

      Same. While I have no brand loyalty towards them, they are the closest office supply store to me so I’ll be driving further or shopping online.

    • Jarflax

      I’m linking that article to clients right now. If true that is a despicable move on their part.

      • Mojeaux

        Brace yourself.

        The lawsuits are coming.

        Staples will pay one way or another.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Short term gain no matter the cost. I’m guessing they were on the verge of bankruptcy before the wuhanic panic took over.

  11. leon

    Reason it’s reporting that Kentucky has started to use ankle bracelets for tracking those who have or live with those that have the CV.

    What is wrong with our country?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Kentucky?

      • Fourscore

        Another reason to avoid declaring that you’re not feeling up to snoose

    • Tonio

      Holy shit. I hope that gets struck down and fast.

      • leon

        By who? There courts that are ordering it?

      • Tonio

        The federal courts, but it’s a slim hope.

      • AlexinCT

        You know they are all in it because of the panic. The constitution and our rights went out the window as soon as the dumb fucks with credentials that think they know whats best for the unwashed folk decided it was in their interest to fuck us over.

        Do you really think these people would stick with this shit if we demanded they shut government down (as non essential, and without pay)?

      • Gustave Lytton

        In 70 years, the courts will say oh well, made a mistake. Just like Korematsu.

      • Tonio

        “Nonetheless, patients and those they live with who leave home for any reason face judge-mandated isolation orders and a GPS ankle monitor in some parts of the Bluegrass State.”

        OK, it’s not everyone, it’s just for those violating quarantine orders. That’s not unreasonable.

    • robc

      Oddly enough, if the solution was to ankle bracelet those who have tested positive and enforce quarantine until recovered and allow everyone else to go on with their life, that would be a much better solution than the current one.

      Probably still a bad precedent, but better than cower in place.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Seems to me that enforcing a quarantine for a confirmed case is legally more sound than the general shelter-in-place orders.

      • robc

        Agreed, but I could see the slippery slope. COVID this year, quarantine for flu next year? And for colds in the future?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The pols and the public health nannies got themselves a taste of some real power, and it’s like crack.

      • R C Dean

        Well, it would be better than lockdown every year from November – March for the flu season, which would be consistent with our response to the Commie Cough. Since the two diseases are virtually indistinguishable as far as transmissibility, mortality, and death toll.

      • robc

        I know, that is what worries me.

        I am hoping they think they saved a couple of hundred thousand lives, even though it isnt true.

        I really don’t see how COVID is any different than the H1N1 outbreak of 2009. Why the reaction this time?

      • leon

        I think the novelty of it was the big thing. i remember a lot of worry about SARS, but it died down when that was mostly contained to the Far East.

      • robc

        While deaths are going to be less form H1N1 (12k), 80% occurred in people under 65, so the lost years of life may be worse than for CV.

      • Bobarian LMD

        I am hoping they think they saved a couple of hundred thousand lives

        Fuck. They’re gonna claim they saved 12M and use it as a club to beat us into submission.

        We are so screwed.

      • Tejicano

        SARS1 made you sick in a day or two with almost nobody asymptomatic so it was easy to identify and take people out of the public realm.

        The Chicom virus is asymptomatic but transmissible in many people and even a number who do get really sick are transmissible for a few days before feeling bad. So it spreads much more and even faster.

        Even some common cold viruses take up to 10 days before they become transmissible.

    • R C Dean

      I still say it was letting the wimminz vote what done us wrong.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Yeah, well, why did your forefathers let us? Was there a Lysistrata scheme at the time?

        (Disclaimer: am sleep-deprived and punchy.)

  12. Festus

    Awesome to get the girls out! Grandson #3 had his birthday yesterday by remote. Grandma bought him one of those hopper-boppers wherein you sit on it and bounce around. Huge hit! Little shit solved his Rubic’s Cube in an afternoon. I’ll need to keep a weather eye on this one.

    • Festus

      Oh, Mornin’ Banjos!

      • Banjos

        Mornin’

    • Count Potato

      “Awesome to get the girls out!”

      So you are saying she was topless?

      • Festus

        I didn’t not say it was me.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    “I don’t think we’ll see many workers changing their preference for work based on benefits that they expect to be temporary, which makes us unlikely to see a long-term deterrent to work,” the fiscal policy analyst concluded. “Of course, we should look out for and oppose any effort to extend this aid past the point of immediate crisis.”

    Good luck with that.

    • Festus

      I’d literally go stir crazy if I didn’t have a job. Maybe start doing crime!

    • Fourscore

      Forty years ago I was drawing unemployment while going to school full time on the GI bill. As one 26 week frame ran out I was offered another 26 weeks. Then that ran out, I found a part time job (still in school), then 3 months later I was offered another 13 weeks extension and I was allowed 1 day a week’s work and still be eligible. When that ran out I went back to more part time hours.

      If I would have kept on getting extensions you’d be calling me Dr Fourscore these days instead of “Hey, you”

      • AlexinCT

        Incentives matter.

    • Festus

      Glasses hottie knows what from Abraham.

    • AlexinCT

      Da fuq?

      • The Last American Hero

        No, da BJ.

    • l0b0t

      The guy behind glasses hottie is picking his nose.

  14. westernsloper

    Is it just me or are Democrats enjoying this and want it to last forever? It’s not just you. There seems to be much joy out there for the upcoming recession depression.

    • AlmightyJB

      They are hoping that it means the end of Orange Man. Which is why they’ve been ratcheting up the panic levels to 11.

      • Festus

        I’m hoping for a back-lash but I know that there will be no back-lash.

    • Drake

      I see their excitement when they shove aroind the serfs for fun. NJ closing remote state forests. Nevada just shut down every golf course. Of course Governors don’t have that kind of authority, makes it more fun. FYTW

    • hayeksplosives

      They are quite thrilled with the recession. It shows in the glee expressed in the Bloomberg article above.

      Sick fucks want the reins of this country.

      • Tejicano

        “Sick fucks want the reins of this country.”

        And if your job, career, retirement savings, or business is the price “we all” have to pay who gives a fcuk?

      • Fatty Bolger

        “We got our recession, boys!”

        Any pain caused is just collateral damage, unfortunate but necessary for their righteous cause.

    • straffinrun

      The way to get money from rich people is to have a chunk of their wealth disappear. That’ll get them in the generous mood.

      • Festus

        They’ve shut down every Provincial Park here and the Rec Sites. Guess how many will be abiding by these new rules.

    • robc

      I was assuming double ARM amputee and I was going to be impressed.

      • Festus

        C’mon. It was pretty cleaver.

      • Fourscore

        You never know what you’re missing until its gone

      • bacon-magic

        Give this guy a hand.

      • Agent Cooper

        That’s a lovely dress you’re wearing, Festus.

      • straffinrun

        The ARM amputees all happened in the housing crash of ’08.

    • The Other Kevin

      One of our best players came from Champaign. We had a try it out event, and he liked it enough to join our team. Four years later he had a Paralympic gold medal.

      Maybe I should look this kid up.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    I’ll expand on my anti-California rant from yesterday. This is how we got to where we are this morning. “Concerned” people: politicians, activists, public health officials, do-gooders of every stripe and pattern, have made it their mission to decide for us what is and is not an acceptable risk.

    And the ratchet only goes one way. Not a single one of them is ever willing to say, “My work here is done.” Each incremental victory is just an excuse to whittle away at the next freedom (You’re not free unless you’re free to be wrong.) on the list.

    • leon

      We let the assholes win by letting them get away with pretending to be caring.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        This. They’ve hidden their anti-social behavior behind the cloak of government. We don’t have the luxury of hiding our abrasiveness when responding.

    • Tonio

      Some of those people, the naïve do-gooders, really do believe they are doing something for the benefit of all. But for every true believer there is a cynical control freak who just wants to take everything away from everyone; I suspect it is the latter sort who are really in the drivers seat for most of these organizations but the NDGs constitute the vast majority of foot-soldiers and contributors.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        -1 nudge

        Wouldn’t these people like a vacation sometime? Chill out on Turks and Caicos?

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        (Never mind: see C.S. Lewis, robber barons; yada yada.)

      • Bobarian LMD

        How’s about a free helicopter ride?

      • Tejicano

        And if their world ever collapsed and they ended up having to answer for their behavior they would say they were just following orders. Say, I think I’ve seen this movie.

      • Bobarian LMD

        A lot of sequels to that movie.

        Gonna be a lot more.

  16. Rebel Scum

    Biden adviser, ObamaCare architect Zeke Emanuel says US should ‘prepare’ for coronavirus measures to last 18 months

    It’s like they want a depression. It’s like they will kill people to gain power.

    Carville said, “We’ve got to be careful about is mucking around with voting. They’re going to try it. Trump, all the Republicans admit it, we can’t win if everybody votes. So my kind of mission here in the short term is to sound the alarm to say Mitch McConnell and the supreme court, they’re going to do everything they can to hold on to power.”

    He added, “Speaker Pelosi and Schumer, we’ve got to dig in and make sure states have funding to conduct these elections and to put pressure on them to make sure they’re done fairly. This thing in Wisconsin was one of the most awful things I’ve ever seen in my life. Just the extent they’ll go to hold on to power. It was all about one Supreme Court seat in Wisconsin. They will kill people to stay in power, literally.”

    • R C Dean

      Oh, fuck off, you sociopathic drama queen.

      • BakedPenguin

        This. What a scumbag.

    • Rhywun

      Like, literally.

    • Festus

      Carville said one smart thing, once. Fuck him and the horse he rode in on.

  17. PieInTheSky

    So I bought some habanero peppers and, unlike what I was led to believe by your American cooking sites/shows/etc, it was not hot at all. this leads me to conclude Americans can’t handle hot food. Are the wings on hot ones even hot? who knows?

    • Nephilium

      Depends on the habanero, and where it was grown. If you really want, I can price out shipping you some of the dried ghosts, scorpions, and reapers I’ve got in my cupboard.

      • PieInTheSky

        That probably aint hot either. If I ever make it to the US I will challenge you people to a hot pepper eating contest.

      • Nephilium

        Only peppers hotter are for industrial and medical uses (the hottest peppers in the world are being cultivated as a local anesthetic).

      • UnCivilServant

        Your bravado makes me think you bought an orange tomato instead.

      • PieInTheSky

        well given you are mister salt is a bit to flavorful, I doubt you are an expert in hot peppers

      • UnCivilServant

        That slander was not the result of anything I ever claimed.

      • Festus

        It was still funny, though.

      • AlexinCT

        Best kind of…

      • straffinrun

        Please continue this Aspie fight, Pie and UCS. I want to see where it ends.

      • robc

        Is there any disagreement on here that isnt technically an aspie fight?

      • UnCivilServant

        I doubt many of us are diagnosed.

      • l0b0t

        I’ll gleefully white-knight for UnCiv. While he brought the gloves thing on himself (and it will cease to make me giggle), the aversion to spices thing is undeserved. The recipe UnCiv posted for fish stew was flavorful and well spiced.

      • Trigger Hippie

        If you can eat a Reaper and not feel heat you really are undead.

      • Sean

        Challenge accepted.

    • westernsloper

      I think you got gyped and those weren’t habanero’s.

      • Swiss Servator

        “gyped”

        I saw that…

      • ChipsnSalsa

        *Swiss’s eyebrow twitches*

      • Tulip

        Yes.

      • PieInTheSky

        nonsense. you people are soft. SOFT.

      • bacon-magic

        All humans are soft. What are you some kind of vampire? I bet those “habaneros” were really just blood clots you got from a spice merchant.

    • Count Potato

      Maybe they weren’t habaneros? Transylvania is a long way from Havana.

      • PieInTheSky

        look the label in the supermarket says habaneros. The Delhaize Group would not lie to me

      • Nephilium

        You know there are orange bell peppers too, right?

      • PieInTheSky

        bell peppers do not look like that

      • Nephilium

        IIRC, the last time I read, the hottest were currently grown in England (those were the ones to be used as a topical anesthetic).

      • Count Potato

        (The name isn’t from being grown there, it’s from where the Spaniards distributed them.)

      • AlexinCT

        The site is blocked, but in my mind’s eye I saw an orange tomato….

      • Nephilium

        I don’t know… looks like a really small red bell pepper that dried out a bit to me…

      • Trigger Hippie

        Aren’t most habaneros orange?

      • Nephilium

        Yep, but there are varieties that will be red as well as brown.

      • Sean

        MMMMMMM…chocolate habaneros…

      • PieInTheSky

        Your just trying to cover the empty boasts of you people. I am starting to doubt other things Americans claim. Can you people even drink 6 beers in the same day without passing out? Who knows?

      • AlexinCT

        I don’t drink beer Pie. Gin, Bourbon, or Whiskey. Why waste time with all the empty calories in beer?

      • robc

        Empty? They are unfermented sugary goodness.

      • PieInTheSky

        Gin, Bourbon, or Whiskey. – but never more than 5 fluid ounces a day I assume

      • PieInTheSky

        in the badlands wast of Romania there are vodkas with chili peepers in them

      • PieInTheSky

        * East of Romania

      • BakedPenguin

        I thought there was a big lake east of Romania.

      • PieInTheSky

        there are multiple things generally east

      • UnCivilServant

        On a large enough scale, Romania is East of Romania.

      • PieInTheSky

        the only hot vodka I tried was from Ukraine which I consider East of Romania

      • AlexinCT

        Gin, Bourbon, or Whiskey. – but never more than 5 fluid ounces a day I assume

        Sure. let’s go with that..

        /hides gallon bottle I bought 2 days ago and is dead.

      • bacon-magic

        Habaneros are orange.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Looks shopped to me. I can tell by looking at the pixels.

      • bacon-magic

        That stem is too thin.

      • Bobarian LMD

        That looks like a dried out red bell pepper.

      • Jarflax

        That is a wilted cherry tomato. (I am as actually averse to hot pepper as y’all accuse UCS of being. burns on the tongue are not the same thing as flavor you lunatics)

  18. UnCivilServant

    Mornin’ Banjos.

    Actual work from work from home delayed my arrival.

    • Nephilium

      I’m beginning to think there should have been a quick quiz to see if certain people should be working from home. I’m getting tired of the people who can’t follow directions, or answer questions.

      • UnCivilServant

        These are not traits which would have been hidden before. You just didn’t have to deal with these people as much.

        Though I always wonder whether or not these people are any good in their official capacity, or what that might be.

      • R C Dean

        “I’m getting tired of the people who can’t follow directions, or answer questions.“

        Like they can when they are at the office?

      • UnCivilServant

        He doesn’t have to deal with them then.

      • Nephilium

        ^This^

        And I can make base assumptions as to the hardware, network, and equipment they’re using. We’ve had people try to use VOIP over a VPN using satellite internet.

        It did not go well.

      • straffinrun

        I’d totally do that and I don’t know what that means.

      • Translucent Chum

        Turning off incoming video does wonders.

      • Don Escaped Muhlenberg County

        learning curve: most people spend 99% of their home and work life doing the same thing repeatedly

        actually reading/comprehending/acting is extremely rare in a normal person’s life

      • Festus

        Can confirm. See last post for confirmation.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I find that I communicate in an exceedingly unclear way to some people. I expect that they retain everything that I say and draw basic inferences from the information presented.

        It’s especially bad in written form. Sometimes it’s as simple as a 3 sentence email.

        “I’m trying to pick out the best background picture for that company-wide slide deck.

        Can you let me know whether you prefer a rural or urban motif?

        Please let me know by Wednesday so that the deck is ready for Thursdays rehearsal. ”

        Then, Thursday morning I get a response

        “Sorry, I just saw this now. I don’t think we need a background image on every slide, but if you send me a few ideas, we can decide on a motif for the title slide.”

      • Nephilium

        Mine are issues like this:

        End User: “I’m having an issue getting into my voicemail.”

        Me: “I’m not showing any failed logins to the mailbox, what steps are you taking to attempt to access it.”

        End User: “It says failed.”

        So far we’ve had people dialing into the wrong system, entering in the wrong extensions, entering in things other then their extensions, and people who are entering the wrong PIN.

    • Banjos

      Mornin’

  19. The Late P Brooks

    Another thought:

    Krugabe must have fapped his little peepee down to a bloody nub, by now. This is ‘way better than an alien invasion. It’s more like a neutron bomb for the economy. It destroys lives but not factories or houses. We get to throw trillions of dollars of stimulus and “humanitarian support” from the helicopter, but Doktor Krugabe still gets a paycheck and his regular comfy bed to sleep in every night.

    WINNING!

    • AlexinCT

      It’s not a coincidence that one political party not only hopes for things that hurt Americans so they can get power, but actively champions things that hurt them to get that power….

  20. Rebel Scum

    The quarantine is going to save more lives from car accidents, the flu, and accidental medical deaths (due to the cancellation of elective procedures) than from the actual virus.

    So you are saying we should make this the new normal. You, know, to save lives, especially those of the children.

    • Banjos

      I am a believer that more people should work from home. Always bugged me when I worked for law firms that they would only let me work from home when I was sick. Most office work can be done from home.

      • Don Escaped Muhlenberg County

        Hell, I could do half my job in the bathtub so long as I keep the cord out of the water

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        You do know they make battery powered fleshlights?

      • straffinrun

        Kinetic powered fleshlight would work.

      • Not Adahn

        So, a fleshlight?

      • Rebel Scum

        I mostly toil in AutoCAD all day so I could work from home. And I wouldn’t mind doing so. I already have a kind of home office setup anyway. All i would require is a business phone and another monitor at home. The company would have to ensure the ability to log on to its server. I don’t know how the numbers would work out but they could possibly have a smaller office space, which would be a savings. They are against this because we still have meetings with clients and do site visits. But meetings could still be held at a smaller office. But they also question productivity if people were to work from home. They have allowed some to do so given current circumstances but were explicit that it should not be taken to be the new normal and extra scrutiny is being given to those that opt to work from home. And they aren’t allowed to work ot right now.

      • Tejicano

        “But they also question productivity”

        To me this says they have no idea what it takes to do your job – thus they have no idea how much output they should expect from you so having you where they can watch makes them “feel” like they know you’re being productive.

      • Rebel Scum

        I have been told my production is good and I spend a decent amount of time on here during the day…I suppose short bursts of labor add up.

      • Mojeaux

        The dirty little secret is that most of your day at work is spent doing jack-shit. Give everybody four hours and relevant work and they’ll get it done in 3.

      • ChipsnSalsa

        It’s harder to sexually harass people when they are working from home.

        Seriously though, They either don’t understand how it’s going to work or they don’t trust people to get their work done.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        It’s harder to sexually harass people when they are working from home.

        CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!
           /commence unctuous tone

        “Hey, what are you wearing, ‘Jake from State Farm’?”

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Hawt!

      • Agent Cooper

        Our productivity is up so far through this. At the office, there’s a lot of useless socializing and too many meetings.

      • bacon-magic

        I found out 90% of my job can be done from home. I hope they let me continue to work at least partially from home. Voluntarily, not forced.

      • AlexinCT

        My boss told me he was old school, and while he knew my productivity had gone up, he simply could not overcome his feelings that eventually being home would result in me spending more time on the couch, naked, watching pr0n and eating cheetos, so he wanted me in the office ASAP to make that go away. He didn’t like the fact I pointed out the problem was with him and not me.

      • bacon-magic

        Show up naked and eating cheetos and ask for the pron.

      • AlexinCT

        HAH!

      • BakedPenguin

        I am a believer that more people should work from home. Always bugged me when I worked for law firms that they would only let me work from home when I was sick. Most office work can be done from home.

        This. Especially when your work involves a known set of deliverable items.

        Also, mornin’ Banjos.

    • Drake

      Until you factor in suicides and crime.

      • westernsloper

        + drinking too much and a new meth habit

      • Festus

        Potato/tomato

      • AlexinCT

        Why you invoking Spud and making fun of our Romanian vampire by calling out he mistook a tomato for a habenero?

  21. Scruffy Nerfherder

    This business will get out of control…

    A 35-year-old security guard in Sherbrooke is in critical condition after a Walmart customer allegedly rammed him with a vehicle in an apparent case of rage over social distancing rules for COVID-19.

    “He is fighting for his life and we fear for his survival,” said Martin Carrier, a media-relations officer with Sherbrooke’s police department.

    A 25-year-old man is in police custody and faces charges of armed assault with a vehicle, aggravated assault and hit-and-run, Carrier said.

    The incident happened Saturday at about 5 p.m. when the 25-year-old customer and a female companion arrived at a Walmart store in the Galeries 4 Saisons shopping centre at 940 16th Ave. in Sherbrooke.

    Told by the security guard that only one person per car was allowed to enter the store because of social distancing measures, the man flew into a rage and left with his companion, Carrier said.

    They then got into the car and the argument escalated, Carrier added. The driver rammed the security guard, who landed on the hood of the vehicle, and then made a manoeuvre to shake him off and left the scene, Carrier said.

    • leon

      What more proof do you need to know that everyone opposed to social distancing is a deranged lunatic?

      • AlexinCT

        His woman made him do it!

        /shyster

    • Pat

      They’ve instituted new capacity rules at all the stores out here as well, but I don’t think they’re actually enforcing them based on my last shopping trip.

    • Q Continuum

      Well, at least he won’t have died of the Kung Flu so… win for the State.

      • Pat

        The car’s bumper may have been contaminated with the dreaded ‘rona. That would be enough to get his cause of death to read “Covid 19” under the CDC guidelines.

    • Tejicano

      Homer Simpson voice on/

      “Is there anything COVID-19 can’t do?”

      /Homer Simpson voice off

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        It’s the new Global Warming Climate Change Climate Crisis Catastrophe.

  22. PieInTheSky

    These last couple of days I actually stated to feel the effects of the lock down. Slept poorly last night, did not concentrate that well, feel restless. I think mi wish to drink less and diet will not work if this goes on. I won’t find the energy.

    I will go for a couple of days at my moms place. I am not sure this is a break of quarantine given I have only left the house once in the last 7 days, and she in the same condition. THere will be a yard and the lake and it is announced as a warm and sunny weekend and it will get me out of the apartment which I need.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      I can’t imagine being stuck in an apartment during all of this. I’ve been working on the back deck, enjoying the birds coming back from migration and the sunshine. Being locked up inside would have driven me bonkers.

      • PieInTheSky

        I have a sort of large balcony but I felt it to difficult to move the work setup there and it is not warm enough every day.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I sympathize, I’m going in to the office three times per week and I’m still getting stir crazy.

    • straffinrun

      Get up at 8 am and start the laundry. You’ll have to get up soon and hang it (like I do) or put it in the laundry. Then start cleaning something. Anything. Just a way to get your mind on work.

      • PieInTheSky

        I generally get up at 6 30…

      • PieInTheSky

        I mean I get up at 6 when I go to the office but for some reason the home thing made me sleep longer, though not better, so now I wake up between 6 30 and 7, varies from day to day

      • straffinrun

        *Sigh* OK, then do it at 6:30. The point is to get out of bed and be doing something to get the mindset right. I choose laundry because of the timing aspect.

      • PieInTheSky

        I am single. I don’t have that much laundry. I think I should just get to the street and back or something. Or go on the balcony for a cup off tee.

      • straffinrun

        Find a task. Doesn’t matter. Get a little start on it the night or day before so that you know what has to be done to finish it. You’ll wake up and want to finish it if you know what needs to be done. Most people won’t want to get out of bed to do something vague like “go to the street”. You must have somethings that need to get done.

      • AlexinCT

        Start the day with an accomplishment (something as small as making the bed) and it sets the tone for the rest of the day….

        I start my day by making the girlfriend bag me for mercy…

      • PieInTheSky

        making the bed – what am I 10 years old? I aint making no bed

      • Mojeaux

        Methinks you wanted to vent, not advice, amirite?!

      • AlexinCT

        Little bit of both…

      • PieInTheSky

        I mean mostly yes, not that I mind advice

      • Mojeaux

        This is a question men should ask women regularly. She will tell you it’s a vent.

        Sit quietly and make a good show of listening. If we have not already solved the problem, we will figure it out as we vent.

        Also, don’t make the mistake of thinking that just because we aren’t asking for help it means we’re doing it just so we can avoid the embarrassment of having you help us. It means we don’t need help.

        Actual conversation:

        “If I need help, I’ll ask you for it.”

        “You never ask anyway.”

        “Because I don’t need it.”

      • PieInTheSky

        This is a question men should ask women regularly. She will tell you it’s a vent. – I learned that from an Allan Pease youtube years ago

      • PieInTheSky

        I even found the one I saw with the original Romanian subtitles.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uf3Prl8JWA

        keep in mind it is probably mostly nonsense but I found it entertaining 8 years ago

      • Count Potato

        “If we have not already solved the problem, we will figure it out as we vent.”

        Yet women get mad if you say they are thinking out loud.

      • Mojeaux

        Yet women get mad if you say they are thinking out loud.

        We do?

        I, for one, know that that’s exactly what I’m doing and will admit it.

      • AlexinCT

        Yet women get mad if you say they are thinking out loud.

        Learned that the hard way. Most people, especially women however, are external processors. It used to be a killer for me because I am a problem solver. You tell me you have a problem, I ask questions to understand it, then provide a solution. I don’t just want to bitch, and the concept of thinking out loud is foreign to me. If I have a real serious problem, I first determine if it is a problem I can fix or not. If it is not, I stop worrying about it until I can fix it. If I can fix it, I then process it internally, use logic and facts to break it down if necessary, then listen to my gut if that also is telling me something I need to keep in mind, and finally, act on that. I am not someone that wants to dilly dally or chat about problems. A bad decision to me is often better (and can remediated) than succumbing to paralysis (especially when there is nothing I can do about the issue) or being to slow to make a call. You work the problem until it is solved, then go to the next thing. That’s life.

        My way of thinking/being created a lot of problems, especially with the female of the species, because I simply couldn’t understand people that needed to vent/think out loud, or agonized about things they had absolutely no control over (especially when it didn’t impact them at all). It took a while to learn to suppress that need to solve problems and move along. I still feel compelled to avoid these sort of situations because I simply feel they are unproductive, which kind of ticks off people that are molded to be that way.

      • Rebel Scum

        Then start cleaning something.

        This is what I try to do at home if I feel fidgety. The house always looks presentable, but it can always look better.

    • Count Potato

      Please be careful, you don’t want your mom to catch anything from you.

      • PieInTheSky

        That si why I don’t go there much. But given I have worked for home a month now and don’t go anywhere except the neighborhood store I don’t think I have anything… I mean I think my mom did more risky shopping than me this week as she goes to a farmers market which is busier.

      • bacon-magic

        Ok kernel, time to take your happy pills.

      • Tejicano

        Glibs, Romanians, Country-folk, lend me your ear

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m not going to go around looking like van gogh until you return it.

    • Pat

      Powerful metaphor, I tell you what.

    • Translucent Chum

      At least it’s not a Harry Potter reference.

      • AlexinCT

        ^^^THIS^^^

        Leviosa your fucking asses!

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      That would have been a hell of a good reference in the mid ‘80s.

      • Fatty Bolger

        It holds up!

        Love the avatar, btw.

  23. Stinky Wizzleteats

    If non payment of rent is Staples’ corporate policy they should be mass evicted at the first opportunity. They suck anyway and I can get postits and envelopes from Dollar General.

    • Q Continuum

      Seriously, fuck those assholes. Not that I shop there anyway, but now I have a reason for it.

    • PieInTheSky

      What does Staples sell? staples?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Office supplies mostly.

      • Drake

        While they have retail stores, I believe a lot of their business is delivering supplies and equipment to local business offices. Whenever I needed that kind of stuff, I just asked our Secretary and a few days later I have a bunch of stuff from Staples or one of their competitors on my desk. The shuttering of offices is probably going to bankrupt them.

      • Agent Cooper

        They also do on-demand printing, which is good for small businesses who don’t want to work with a full-time printer. OfficeMax/Depot do this as well as FedEx Office.

    • PieInTheSky

      One of the trashier looking lists

    • Count Potato

      I haven’t been able to get your links to work for a while.

      • Q Continuum

        What browser are you using? Firefox works for me, I had trouble with Safari and I think the mobile browsers may have issues.

      • Count Potato

        Firefox

      • R C Dean

        Same here. Page opens, but no pics. Much sad.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Me too using Safari. They work fine on a PC though.

      • Q Continuum

        Safari seems like it doesn’t work for some reason. If you’re not opposed to it (and looking at cheesecake is important to you) try Firefox.

      • Pat

        Recently I’ve been using Cloudflare’s DNS which blocks archive.is for some reason. I keep meaning to switch again.

    • UnCivilServant

      The massive ink stains are not even on a third of the models, but they drag down the rest by proximity.

    • Trigger Hippie

      34

      • Rebel Scum

        It’s the rule.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    America looks starkly different from just a month ago. More than 11,000 in the country have died from Covid-19, while the number of infected was approaching 400,000 on Tuesday, the highest reported total worldwide. Social gatherings have been curbed and a majority of Americans have been directed to stay home. Restaurants, hotels, factories and a variety of other businesses have closed their doors.

    The sudden stop in activity has many forecasters predicting the economy will experience its largest-ever contraction in the second quarter, and some analysts project about 20 million people will have lost their jobs by July.

    Americans are increasingly pessimistic about the outlook, with one measure of consumer sentiment plunging last month by the most since October 2008. The March jobs report showed employers cut a net 701,000 jobs in the month, the most since the Great Recession — and a number that reflected just the first half of the month.

    It will all be worth it, if President Cartoon Villain loses the election and is perp-walked out of the White House in irons.

    • leon

      More than 11,000 in the country have died from Covid-19

      I can’t imagine an America without them.

      :ignores other 200K that die every month:

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I’m confident the Dems will overplay their hand on this like they always seem to do. The American public in general isn’t in the mood to see a political party try to capitalize on a plague induced downturn and if they get too shrill about it the consequences will be dire.

      • AlexinCT

        They are hoping to cash on this by using bad orange man’s desire to restart the economy and help those impacted by it to shower those that vote for a living with a massive amount of unicorn farts. The problem is that’s still not going to help them with the people that know they are the part of our current toxic environment and that it means, like the disappointed Bernie bros that hold no love for old mentally deficient Joe remind us: that dude is a creepy, sleepy, lunatic.

    • Q Continuum

      That’s all I keep thinking: OF COURSE, the Dem-Op-Media Complex want this to go on as long as possible. The more the economy shits the bed, the more people are out of work, the more suffering there is, the more likely OrangeManBad will finally be defeated.

      These people are evil, they hate you and want you dead.

      • AlexinCT

        I have met several people out here in Minneapolis that have told me, with glee in their eyes, that they love the fact this is hurting orange man and those stupid people that follow me. Usually it comes right after they have told me why I am a bad person for not being as caring as they are for other people that by nothing but happenstance are not as smart or not as white as they are, and thus are too stupid to do things for themselves without the help of the government and people like them who care. They sure get pissed when I tell them that to me their caring resembles the way a pimp cares about his stable of hos.

      • Rebel Scum

        The ends justify the means, comrade.

    • Tejicano

      ” the number of infected was approaching 400,000″

      But you have to dig through the data to find out how many are healed up and back on their feet. The point isn’t how many contracted the disease, the issue is how many are dealing with it right now. And from what I’ve seen that number is shrinking everywhere which means we’ve gotten control of the situation and can think about when to start pulling back on the restrictions.

      But the MSM prefers everybody to have their hair on fire.

    • Rebel Scum

      the highest reported total worldwide.

      China could not be reached for comment.

      • Tejicano

        I have it on good authority that the problem with the China numbers is because the authorities in Wuhan stopped reporting them to Beijing as the situation was out of control and they knew they would be in trouble if they told the truth – so the authorities in Wuhan just lied and said “it’s all good here”. Since nobody was going to come down there from Beijing under those circumstances they just stuck to their story.

        Beijing knew it was BS but didn’t have anything else to report to the world. They would lose face if they told the world that they had lost control over their people in Wuhan. So they just lied through their teeth and said it was under control.

  25. leon

    After reading the comments on the TOS article above… I realized a big reason why i hated them. Its not that i can’t stand lefties. I like watching Jimmy Dore. It’s that the “Attacks” the Reason Trolls presented were always the same tired old shit. They weren’t creative or intelligent.

    • Pat

      To be fair, the writers just regurgitate the same bullshit over and over again as well. It’s like checking up on the latest Catholic vs Protestant or Sunni vs Shia debates. “So… same as the last 1600 years then…”

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Listen, if you don’t think Abdul ibn Jaad Haramshah should have been third in line to be Caliph in the year 801 you can fuck right off.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, since the Good Friday Agreement, there hasn’t been much murdering going on between Catholics and Protestants these days.

      • Pat

        What I mean is that the orthodoxy is not going to change on either side, so effectively it’s just a rhetorical slapping contest.

      • Drake

        I believed that they had a few templates for articles and just filled in the blanks with the (often incorrect) details.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Strangely enough, the site itself has been a lot better lately. It’s like the virus bullshit knocked them off their TDS pedestal, and made them remember (however temporarily) what the core mission is.

      • Drake

        After the next infusion of Koch money, their core mission will be defending open trade with China.

    • R C Dean

      The writers just drifted into not being much different than the rest of the media herd. They committed the cardinal sin of writing. They got boring.

    • Count Potato

      It’s not just their Twitter.

    • Sensei

      Chinese – looks traditional – so either HK or Taiwan.

      • PieInTheSky

        I did not even look at the symbols assumed it was japanese

      • Sensei

        Some of the replies are Japanese and it’s in the Japanese style.

        Given the subject matter it would be an easy assumption.

      • AlexinCT

        Tentacle porn?

      • Agent Cooper

        You know what happens when you go around assuming?

        You make an ass out of u, and some guy named Ming, who I’m assuming is CHINESE.

    • Q Continuum

      HM’s new fetish reveals itself.

    • Tejicano

      The first one is simplified Characters so that’s from the Chinese mainland

      • PieInTheSky

        it has been mentioned

      • PieInTheSky

        oh wait sorry. it was not mentioned.

      • Tejicano

        In the first line the word for “we” (wo men) is written “我们“ which is clearly simplified and would have been written“我們” if it was traditional.

      • PieInTheSky

        it’s all chinese to me

    • Rhywun

      Did you thank China for the 1000 ventilators to NYC?

      /some petty asshole

      Probably.

      Not like we’re using them.

      • AlexinCT

        How many actually worked as advertised?

      • UnCivilServant

        They are all guaranteed to suffocate dissidents 30% faster than competing models.

    • Count Potato

      The whole “we can’t recognize Taiwan” thing is horseshit.

      • Q Continuum

        If they’re serious about cracking down on China after this is over, the first thing they should do is open an ROC embassy in DC and officially recognize their independence.

      • AlexinCT

        I hope orange man does this just like he moved our embassy in Israel to Jerusalem. Clear messages we are done dealing with your stupid shit matter.

      • kbolino

        On a tangential note, some websites have started listing “Taiwan, Province of China” as the “country” of origin for some parts.

        Besides the fact that a province is obviously not a country, that still remains imprecise. There are two Chinas, both claim Taiwan as a province*, but only one of them actually has de facto sovereignty there: the Republic of China.

        * = technically, the Republic of China still has a Taiwan province (although it serves no real function and is even more technically not including the whole island anymore, Taipei, Kaohsiung, and some other large municipalities having been separated from the province) as well as several much smaller islands in the Pacific Ocean, not counting its claims to PRC-held territory on the mainland

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Because they can?

    • Pat

      A 2017 survey of 274 people aged between 18 to 25 published in the Archives of Sexual Behaviour showed that 24 per cent of men and eight per cent of women have had a threesome

      Ha GAYYYYYY

      • Q Continuum

        Gay or lying. It’s like the discrepancy in average number of heterosexual partners between men and women. The only way those numbers are possible is if the genders have a different definition of what constitutes sex (possible) or the participants are lying (probable).

        Remember the law of three.

      • mrfamous

        23.5% of men are lying

      • Not Adahn

        More than 0.5% of men are gay.

    • Q Continuum

      I’m surprised they didn’t find a way to shoehorn something about COVID in there.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Oh, they did:

        Of course, right now, watching porn is as close as any of us should be to having a threesome. Until the coronavirus pandemic has abated and strict social distancing rules are relaxed, I’m afraid threesomes will just have to stay a fantasy for a while longer. Unless of course, you happen to live with two other lovers, are quarantined together, and can count an enthusiastic threeway as your government-mandated exercise.

    • Tonio

      Because sometimes you just need a good spit-roasting.

      • Trigger Hippie

        I used to call it “fingercuffs”.

  26. Rebel Scum

    100% Chance of Recession Within 12 Months

    If some people get their way.

    • leon

      A reminder that on Dec 31 2020, Goldman sachs said that the Economy was “Practically Recession Proof”. I knew i should have bought some Short options then….

    • R C Dean

      It’s a dead certainty now. The only question is, how deep and now long?

  27. Q Continuum

    *makes a fort out of tinfoil*

    Notice how the Hong Kong protests have all but ceased (or at least been pushed out of the news)? Wild theory of the day: prior to all this shit, Hong Kong was bringing it and there were rumblings that the discontent was spreading to Mainland PRC. The ChiComs, knowing that SARS-like viruses were already being worked on in Wuhan’s bioweapon labs, released the Kung Flu on purpose knowing that they’d have plausible deniability since there is historical precedent for such viruses coming out of their horrendous wet markets. This killed two birds with one stone: the Hong Kong protests were stopped in their tracks, and they had cover to murder as many potential dissidents as they wanted while chalking it up to the virus.

    *gets out Girl Talk to play in the fort*

    • Pat

      I’ve been on that hobbyhorse for weeks now. I don’t even give a fuck about being called a nutter anymore. I’m a conspiracy theorist. 100%. It’s fucking amazing to me that people find it in any way unbelievable that a government responsible for the Tuskegee experiments, MKUltra, Ruby Ridge, Waco, and warrantless domestic spying might be involved in conspiracies against its own citizens. Yeah, it was just that once and then they quit. Let alone a bowl of fuck government like communist China. Forget about the 50 million people Mao murdered outright, Tiananmen Square was only 30 years ago.

      • Tejicano

        There’s actually a lot more meat on this bone than most people even imagine.

      • BakedPenguin

        Tiananmen Square was only 30 years ago.

        Yup. Set a picture of tank man as my BG image on my laptop. I thought it was relevant to current happenings.

      • Don Escaped Muhlenberg County

        also why I used that image in my post three weeks ago asking: how far will government go under cover of virus?

    • kbolino

      Even if they didn’t release it intentionally (or at all, and it really did come from a wet market), they (the PRC) know how to weaponize a crisis (well, they know how to weaponize everything, like their ties to Western media).

      Put another way, the crisis is an opportunity. It may have been of their own making or not, but they will turn it to their advantage. Xi Jinping is closer to Maoism than any leader of the PRC since the Gang of Four was ousted.

  28. Rebel Scum

    NYC only using fraction of ventilators of what was expected: de Blasio

    I could have told you that. But do continue with the unfounded hysteria.

    • Sensei

      There is nothing the media loves more than a “ticking clock” scenario. In this case they needed to create one and this was an easy target.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    Please, please don’t let this end

    With health experts warning that warmer months won’t bring an end to coronavirus, officials are developing a framework for what America’s new normal could look like.
    President Trump has previously claimed that increased temperatures will bring an end to the virus. But members of a National Academy of Sciences committee said in a letter to the White House Tuesday that the data is mixed on if the virus spreads less easily in the heat, however that might not matter much given the lack of immunity.
    With more than 432,000 cases and 14,817 deaths, the nation has already had to adjust to a world where social distancing is key to reducing the impact of coronavirus. Families gathered Wednesday night for virtual Passover Seders and weekend Easter celebrations are anticipated to be online as well for many.
    Though Attorney General William Barr called current social distancing measures “draconian,” Dr. Anthony Fauci told lawmakers that the White House task force is developing a framework for what a return to normalcy will look like for Americans, a source told CNN.

    But normal may not look exactly like it once did. The handshake, for example, may need to become a thing of the past, said Fauci, the head of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases (NIAID).
    “I think what we’re going to have embedded and imprinted in us forever is the realization that something as catastrophic as what the world is experiencing now can happen,” Fauci said.

    Apocalypse porn masturbators refuse to believe their exquisite self-torment should ever be brought to an end.

    • R C Dean

      “With health experts warning that warmer months won’t bring an end to coronavirus,“

      Based on what? What makes the Commie Cough different from every other coronavirus?

      • Q Continuum

        Based on the fact that if things go back to normal, Fauci won’t get to mug for the cameras and receive nudes from Instathots anymore!

      • Rebel Scum

        Political expediency?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      “ The handshake, for example, may need to become a thing of the past, said Fauci”

      What are we supposed to do? Bow? Rub our dicks together? If we don’t shake hands how the hell am I supposed to know you don’t have a dagger?

      • PieInTheSky

        ass slapping

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Polite pecker taps are where it’s at.

        Plus, it extends the life of the patriarchy because women can’t do it.

        /shitlord

      • Q Continuum

        Female: grab ’em by the pussy.
        Male: right cross to the jaw to show dominance.

      • gbob

        Wait…are you saying we *weren’t* supposed to be doing the dick rubbing thing before now?

        No wonder I got kicked out of so many school events.

      • westernsloper

        Moon walking. Elbows bent, hands at side fingers spread like Micheal Jackson.

      • Rebel Scum

        Rub our dicks together?

        Double-Dutch

    • Rhywun

      The giddiness is sickening. Smash the system!

    • Rebel Scum

      The handshake, for example, may need to become a thing of the past

      Or, you know, you could just continue to practice basic modern hygiene.

      President Trump has previously claimed that increased temperatures will bring an end to the virus.

      It’s almost like these respiratory viruses are prevalent for a certain, cooler period of the calendar year. I know, let’s call it flu season.

  30. Rebel Scum

    “Overly generous unemployment insurance benefits, combined with the risks inherent in going out to work right now, really do produce a disincentive to reenter employment,”

    This has been demonstrated in study after study on the matter. People tend to suddenly find work just as the benefits expire.

  31. Tundra

    Good morning, Banjos!

    Sorry about the lack of wind. It was apparently all up here.

    I think you are right and the Dems love this panic. The longer they can keep it going the worse things are for everyone. Such equality. Shitheads.

    I guess whatever it takes to get rid of Two-scoops, huh?

    Thanks for the lynx and the tunes. I hope you and the girls have a fun day!

    • straffinrun

      Did you just apologize for the lack of wind in Texas? That is some serious Minnesoda nice.

      • Q Continuum

        Amarillo is like being inside of a hair dryer.

    • Banjos

      Mornin’

    • ttyrant

      ‘Morning Tundra. I’m not sure if it was you or Pope posting Scott Johnson’s Powerline updates following Minnesota’s kungflu-response saga, but there’s a line from the Star Trib in this morning’s piece that nearly made me spit. Apparently the paper is stating that the 50,000 figure of number of dead Minnesotans was “if the state had done nothing at all”. That’s fake news, isn’t it, or am I losing it? I thought the initial figures were 74,000 dead if the state did nothing at all, and 50,000 with stay-at-home in place, no? Throughout this whole thing I can’t help but think of Russ Roberts’ dismissive quip, “but now we’ve got more data!” The model didn’t appear to come close in the first place, but now we’ve got the kinks worked out and, carry the two, stay-at-home order extended another month.

      • Tundra

        Hiya!

        Yeah, that was the Pontiff of the Prairie. The numbers that the Red Star have been spewing are complete garbage. Luckily, the guys at Powerline are keeping track.

        Walz needs to be fired over this.

      • Pope Jimbo

        The initial numbers were 74K vs 50K in Walz’s first lockdown order. I have been too busy (and depressed) to go check, but I’m sure that the Strib moved the goal posts for Walz.

        We have 39 dead (median age 86). Even Fourscore is on the young side of the median age!

        It is a real shame we are so heartless that we make so many people work into their 90’s here. Otherwise we could reopen businesses instead of extending the lockdown.

        I’m with Tundra, Walz needs to go. And the Strib should be burned to the ground as well.

      • Pope Jimbo

        The latest hard hitting journalism from the Strib.

        This new understanding produced new state modeling results. Walz’s initial decision last month rested on modeling suggesting that a stay-at-home order could reduce deaths in Minnesota by as much as a third — from 74,000 to about 50,000 — over the course of the pandemic. Now, the modeling predicts the state actions might cut the death toll in half or better — from about 50,000 if the state had done nothing at all, to a range of 6,000 to 20,000 deaths.

        While state officials said they provided the death estimates for transparency, they stressed that the modeling is intended to determine whether social restrictions and policies will work — not to project a death toll.

        “We’re not predicting a certain number of deaths will happen or won’t happen with these scenarios,” said Jan Malcolm, state health commissioner. “It’s directional. It’s all about helping us understand which levers have the biggest impact. And what the model confirms … is that the biggest levers really are building up ICU capacity and isolating the most vulnerable.”

        Just like the Climate Change bullshit artists. “OK, our models were totes wrong, we never claimed that they were 100% accurate. Now our new models on the other hand….”

        It’s “directional”. Yeah. And they even admit that the biggest things they can do is build up ICU capacity isolate the vulnerable? So why did they guy you work for just extend the lockdown?

      • AlexinCT

        Just like the Climate Change bullshit artists

        Give this man a cigar (not one from Bill Clinton’s stash, cause those may be, erm, compromised).

      • Tundra

        The Red Star isn’t going to make it. Apparently their ad revenue is gone.

        Funny how that works, huh? Who even bothers advertising in actual newspapers? Oh, yeah. Restaurants and retail.

        Fucking assholes are gonna cheerlead their way to extinction.

    • bacon-magic

      Guinea fowl.

      • PieInTheSky

        Bibilică!

      • bacon-magic

        *pulls stake and cross out
        Guinea fowl season.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Yep, they’re tasty critters too.

      • PieInTheSky

        taste like chicken to me

      • AlexinCT

        Ass tastes like chicken if we are gonna go there….

      • PieInTheSky

        I ate ragu d’asino in Italy once

      • AlexinCT

        Donkey sauce? Hopefully not donkey dick…

      • PieInTheSky

        well you mentioned eating donkeys not me

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Donkey sausage in southern France. Delicious.

        Yeah, I went there.

      • Pine_Tree

        you keep them around to eat ticks and make a bunch of noise when visitors drive up

  32. The Late P Brooks

    And though the impact has been grave thus far, there is a glimmer of hope with models projecting lower numbers of deaths by the time the pandemic subsides.
    The US will reach its highest daily number of deaths on or around Sunday, according to modeling by the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation at the University of Washington in Seattle. The peak of demand on hospital beds and ventilators is projected to hit on or around Saturday.

    They’ve been right about everything so far.

    • AlexinCT

      MOVING TARGET!

      I wouldn’t be surprised to discover that quite a few of these COVID-19 modelers are the people making the models for the AGW cult as well…

      The pattern is similar, and the story telling is the same.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Agreed. Like I said the other day, if the govt decides to start shoveling those National Science Foundation grants to pandemic related stuff, expect gobs of AGW “researchers” to seamlessly transition into being pandemic researchers.

        I’m sure even now, there is some twisted talent search going on for a photogenic, autistic kid to be the face (masked and all) of Pandemic Panic. “HOW DARE YOU!”

        Poor Greta.

      • R C Dean

        Say, she announced she thought she had the Commie Cough last week(?). Plenty of time for her test to come back negative or for her to recover. Odd that we haven’t heard either way, no?

      • Pope Jimbo

        Her ship has sailed. She is no longer a (semi) cute kid. She’s getting old enough looking that more and more people won’t feel bad telling her to fuck off.

        Nope, they need a cute little proglet to be the poster kid for Pandemic Panic.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Oops, I was going to add that the reason we haven’t heard about her test results is probably because of bad news from various focus groups.

        “What would you say if you heard Greta had the Commie Cough?”

        “Good”

  33. Mojeaux

    Day 3,125, took the girls out to fly kites.  Not so much fly kites as much as it was having them run in circles in an empty parking lot as there was little to no wind.  The girls enjoyed it and that’s all that matters.

    You’re a better woman than I, Gunga Din.

    For those of you concerned about my safety, sanity, and/or level of stupidity because I do not wear a seat belt when driving, I just took a gander at my ancient AD&D policy. I shall now start wearing a seat belt.

    I don’t mind messing around with my life. I do mind messing around with my money. Yay capitalism.

    • Pat

      Arguably, society’s acquiescence to things like mandatory seatbelt laws have built up to the ridiculous police state shit we’re seeing now. So cheers for having stuck it to the man until now.

      • Mojeaux

        stuck it to the man until now

        Yes, well, you are a Glibminority in that respect, but thank you.

        As with all things sticking it to the man, you have to figure out what you’re willing to sacrifice, and sacrificing the death benefit to my family is not one of those things. If I were single, I’d have enough life insurance for my mother not to have to shell out to bury me.

      • Pat

        Understandable.

        I’ve always worn a seatbelt, just because I became habituated to it from childhood and the data seems to indicate that on balance I’m probably better off wearing one in a crash. I didn’t die in a highway rollover while wearing one, but then i can’t prove the counterfactual there either. Thing is though, as soon as you make it mandatory, the first thing I want to do is jeopardize my own safety out of sheer defiance.

      • Rhywun

        And as we know, making it mandatory just increases the chance of cops fucking with you. For your own good, of course.

      • Mojeaux

        I didn’t die in a highway rollover while wearing one, but then i can’t prove the counterfactual there either.

        I can. I turned left in front of an oncoming car doing about 70. None of us died and we had only minor injuries. Anyway, as I was waking up completely trapped by the crinkle in my door and front end, I heard the cop ask the EMT if I was wearing a seatbelt. EMT said, “No, but don’t cite her because she would’ve died if she had been.”

        Now, I was 20 when I did that and the only fender benders I’ve been in since involved me sitting at a light minding my own business. The older dude with the work truck, I filed a report. The teenager, I just said, “Eh, don’t worry about it. Look at my car; it’s really no biggie.”

      • Count Potato

        “No, but don’t cite her because she would’ve died if she had been.”

        I’m trying to imagine a situation where that would be true.

      • robc

        The rare case where you get thrown from the car, which then explodes like in a movie.

      • robc

        Or as I have heard from a coroner and cops, “I have never unbuckled a dead man.”

      • Mojeaux

        If I could find the photo of my crunched car, I’d post it. However, that would require effort to try to validate the story, which I don’t feel obliged to do.

      • Pat

        “I have never unbuckled a dead man.”

        They just leave them there?

      • ruodberht

        Shh. Narratives go both ways.

      • UnCivilServant

        Of course you don’t unbuckle them, you cut the seatbelt and collect it as evidence.

      • UnCivilServant

        Also, robc, moose through the windshield will kill anyone in the front seat, belted or no. You’re lucky you live south of their range. their legs are perfectly designed to pitch the body through the windshield when struck.

      • Tundra

        I always wear a seatbelt. I was in a pretty bad crash years ago where my car ended up on its roof. Safe car and seatbelt, ftw.

        I will never tell anyone else what to do, but I’m a fan.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I’ve been in crashes with and without seatbelts (all as a passenger). I’ll take the seatbelt, if only because smashing teeth first into the dashboard isn’t very pleasant.

      • R C Dean

        I’m not sure “sticking it to the man” includes doing things that are not even an inconvenience to the man.

        Not doing something that you would do anyway, just because its been made mandatory, is letting the man dictate your actions every bit as much as starting to do something you wouldn’t do anyway, just because its mandatory. Best course: just ignore the man, and do what you want.

        I have a “seat belt saved my life” story – near head-on collision in 1990 Honda Civic at a combined speed of at least 90 mph. Ripped the back axle out of the other car; it came to rest probably 75 yards away in a corn field. Without the seat belt, I’d probably be dead in the corn field not far from the axle. With it, I wasn’t even sore the next day.

        So I’m a fan. And I wouldn’t buy a car with an airbag if I could, because the only time I have been injured in a car crash was by the airbag.

        Its a shame we all can’t just manage life’s risks as we see best.

    • ChipsnSalsa

      I read that as Advanced Dungeons & Dragons, was wondering what your policy on that was.

      • UnCivilServant

        Wait, that’s not what she’s talking about?

      • AlexinCT

        Always gank first, ask questions later?

      • Pope Jimbo

        LOL #MeToo

        I was wondering if she just realized that she no longer got +2 on her saving throws against viral infections or something.

    • Shirley Knott

      I was living in the Detroit area when Michigan launched their ‘click it it ticket’ seat belt enforcement crackdown. Within a day or two one of the local news stations patrolled the city monitoring compliance by visibility of shoulder belts.
      Literally the only violators were the police, who almost without exception were not belted up.
      Pretty much tells you everything you need to know.

      • AlexinCT

        These nuisance laws are not about safety, but about providing this bureaucratic machine with an easy way to make money. I have so far pled not guilty (unlike the majority of people that mail in a check with a guilty plea by default) for every such nuisance ticket, told them I don’t want to haggle for a lesser charge/fine, and intend to come to court and spend an hour or so wasting their time to make sure this costs them more than it costs me, and they have dropped the ticket immediately. I only had to go to court twice to make that point, and it has paid off. In fact, when I get stopped these days, I now only get warnings, cause the cops know I will go to court and they will not make easy money. If you still think any of this shit is about safety, knowing that their primary goal is easy money, not enforcement, should dissuade you of that notion.

      • Shirley Knott

        What really yanks my chain is that they were (only?) able to pass mandatory seat belt laws with the promise it would never be a primary enforcement target, only secondary to other offenses.
        Yet people still accept their shit.

      • Mojeaux

        promise it would never be a primary enforcement target

        I was thinking about that the other day.

      • Tejicano

        I don’t really think it’s so much about the money from tickets either. It seems to me it’s more of a way to pull anybody over to find evidence to dig further for any type of contraband. Even if they know you had your seatbelt on they can pretend they didn’t see it and suspect you put it on after that point in time. “Oh, and what’s in that bag?”

      • AlexinCT

        I have a concealed carry sticker on my car window to make sure they know they can’t pretend they asked me about it and I reached for it to blast at them. Most cops have been real cool about it I admit, but there was one that freaked out and demanded I let him take my weapon. I told him after I finished calling my lawyer and he got agreement from her, he was welcome to do so. Before then, this was gonna get ugly and he better remove his hand off his sidearm unless he was really that stupid.

  34. PieInTheSky

    UK Police:“We will not at this stage be starting to marshal supermarkets and check-in the items in baskets and trolleys to see whether it is a legitimate necessary item but…if people do not head the warnings…we will start to do that” – @NorthantsChief

    https://twitter.com/RTaylorUK/status/1248204770977996800

    • PieInTheSky

      related

      Like Magna Carta, the Declaration of Arbroath came to serve the people of a British kingdom as an assurance that no one, not even a king, should be above the law. Its ultimate significance, then, lay in ensuring that Scots and English would end up treasuring similar ideals.

      https://twitter.com/holland_tom/status/1248161360380338178

      Right…

    • Rhywun

      Words fail me.

    • Tejicano

      “a legitimate necessary? We’ll be the judge of that.”

      I’d be so tempted to be walking out of a shop with a bottle of scotch, a tube of KY jel, and some condoms – so if they questioned to necessity of my purchase I could tell them “I figured you would try to fuck me over this so these seemed necessary”

    • Pat

      You have to pay for it.

    • PieInTheSky

      who says it is?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      UK police have to be the most petty tyrants on the planet.

  35. The Late P Brooks

    On Tuesday, the IHME estimated about 82,000 people will die from coronavirus disease by August. On Wednesday, that estimate was lowered to 60,415.
    That decrease is thanks to the actions taken by Americans, said White House coronavirus response coordinator Dr. Deborah Birx.
    “What has been so remarkable, I think, to those of us that have been in the science field for so long,” Birx said, “is how important behavioral change is, and how amazing Americans are at adapting to and following through on these behavioral changes.”

    Keep up the good work, sheeple.

    • Q Continuum

      Heads we win, tails you lose.

    • Pat

      The best case scenario literally a week ago was 200,000 deaths according to our finest minds.

      • leon

        Wow! So we’ve saved like 140K lives

      • ChipsnSalsa

        Leon, I see you are working on your government accounting degree, your studies are really paying off.

      • AlexinCT

        Bad orange man should start making that claim any time one of the dnc operative with bylines asks him if he has blood on his hands or should have let the angry they lost an election they had rigged for crooked Hillary team blue asshats impeach him cause they dislike him so these upstanding team blue hacks could have then prevented the Kung Flu from killing so many (by telling everyone there was nothing to worry about and burying the news).

    • RAHeinlein

      The Gates Foundation provides significant IHME funding. Bill has been making the rounds and was on Squawk this morning talking about his solution “mapping” of the master plan, sneering about hydrochloroquine, bragging about spending his days on video calls with global overlords, etc.

      • Pat

        I really hope that prick dies of something lingering and painful. Stomach cancer perhaps.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I won’t go that far but my indifference to that innocuous dumpy fucker has moved over towards the seriously dislike/hatred side lately.

      • Pat

        Ever since he decided he was master of the universe after leaving Microsoft he’s become more and more unlikable, and he was a cunt to begin with.

    • robc

      No, they changed the model. The behavior was already included in the model.

    • Rhywun

      That decrease is thanks to the actions taken by Americans

      Bullshit.

  36. Festus

    I’m out. Have fun you wonderful Glibs! Didn’t quite kill myself with chemicals yet so see you on the flip-side!

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      ¿Porqué no los dos?

    • AlexinCT

      Tomorrow there will be an article on how people on lockdown are sneaking into their neighbor’s house for some quickie sex.

    • creech

      They need to run less pictures of Demi Rose.

  37. Nephilium

    After two days with temps over 60, today it’s in the 30’s and fucking snowing.

    If anyone here is on Facebook, and interested in rockabilly, Viva Las Vegas is doing a virtual one with some shows on their Facebook group.

    • AlexinCT

      I already have Zoom spying on me, and I don’t need Facebook to do that as well.

    • BakedPenguin

      Neph, if you want to send a little bit of that OH cold down to FL, most of us would appreciate it. Supposed to be in the upper 80’s here today, and my A/C is on the fritz.

      • Nephilium

        Would if I could. It was nice being able to get some rides outside this week. It’s not looking likely that I’ll get another in over the next ten days (warmest day has a high of 63, with rain throughout the day).

        Between two real 15+ rides, and two days on the hated stationary, I have broken 50 miles ridden this week at least.

  38. Certified Public Asshat

    I can’t be the only person (who isn’t a health care worker or some other front lines person) who has less free time due to this virus? I mostly welcome the distraction of virtual socializing, but it’s time-consuming!— Amanda Marcotte (@AmandaMarcotte) April 9, 2020

    Those spicy takes don’t write themselves.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Proof the world needs retards.

    • Q Continuum

      Since no one can stand to be around her I would’ve thought she’d see no difference.

  39. The Other Kevin

    I think Mrs TOK has finally had enough. We have been borrowing a neighbor’s mower for two years. This week we bought a new John Deere. Mrs TOK posted about it on FB and some busybody gave her shit about social distancing and what is “essential”. She did not take kindly to that. Gonna be an interesting day on FB.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      This is the time for the busybody prudish types to shine and they’re going to seize it.

      • Tejicano

        I wonder if it will ever become common knowledge that those kind of people were the foundation of the Third Reich. Adolf and his crew depended on the scolds to enforce his vision.

    • PieInTheSky

      Use a scythe like a proper person

    • Pat

      Yesterday when I was on my grocery run there was some obnoxious lady in Walmart accosting all of the old people who weren’t wearing masks and preaching to them about how Nevada is entering the “worst phase” now and how they should protect themselves, like some apocalyptic street preacher. She started her spiel on this little old lady, looked probably about 80 years old and she cut her off mid-sentence and told her “You know what? Why don’t you mind your business. Don’t mind my business”. As the harpy started interjecting she shut her down again “Just mind your damn business”. It was delightful.

      • invisible finger

        She felt she didn’t have to social distance because mask.

  40. Tundra

    This exact thing has been bugging me for weeks:

    ‘Trust the Experts on Coronavirus’. Sure. Which Experts?

    One of the stupid things you often hear people say these days is: “We should trust the epidemiologists. We should trust the virologists.”

    Oh, sure. But which epidemiologists and which virologists?

    What about Professor Dr Sucharit Bhakdi — an infectious medicine specialist and one of the most highly cited medical research scientists in Germany, formerly head of the Institute for Medical Microbiology at the Johannes Gutenberg University of Mainz. Should we trust him?

    If so then we are currently moving in the completely wrong direction with our lockdown policies which he has described as “grotesque, absurd, and very dangerous.”

    I’m tired of Trump’s midget and his smug certainty. It would be good to at least get some competing ideas out there.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      From my understanding there are discussions and arguments going on behind closed doors and Fauci is being put out there to present a united front that won’t jar the public’s sensibilities too much. They don’t want a public fight to be the face of the government’s response.

    • Pat

      Oh well that’s an easy one. You trust the experts who are in consensus. Not those cheeky nonconformists. They probably don’t even participate in our cherished international institutions looking for real solutions to global problems.

    • Tejicano

      Hell, it’s really easy to see which side of the question is correct. Look at Sweden where they just leave it up to the people to do the right thing. No work from home or cover in place directives from the powers that be. And look! They’re dying in droves, corpses heaped up like leaves in autumn…

      oh, wait…

  41. PieInTheSky

    So my company switched vacation policy and now I have to take all remaining days from last year until 30th june so I hope I can travel somewhere by end of june.

    In the past it was encouraged to take em until 31 March but as long as the panning was made before 31 March, you were allowed to take them later. But not more than 3-4 days. I had 16th and 17th July as days off, but now I will need to take em before 1st July.

  42. Rebel Scum

    Never let a crisis go to waste.

    CNN’s Anderson Cooper asked Pelosi directly if she would try to change election laws in the wake of the coronavirus. She would.

    The provisions the Democrats are asking for, she said, “guarantees to vote from home for upcoming general election.” In Phase 4, or CARES 2, she explained, “yes we want the resources to be there and no obstacles to that voting to take place.”

    “It’s about our democracy,” she argued, “and a time where it’s even a physical challenge to vote.”

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Costa Rica has a very high voter turnout rate. They will walk miles to cast a vote because they want to participate.

      This has nothing to do with turnout and everything to do with fraud.

      • leon

        No, no no! Being able to demonstrate that you have an actual right to vote is too much work.

    • leon

      “guarantees to vote from home for upcoming general election.”

      We have to save our democracy from the Russians!

      Also We have to completely throw the next election into dissarray.

  43. Fourscore

    Which ever party wins the election is gonna have to figure out how to deal with this massive financial problem. CV will go away but the bills never do. The invention of the printing press has never solved deficit spending, postponed it maybe, but never long term solved.

    Ron Paul once said that we’ll never run out of money as long as there are trees still standing. He added then that the paper just won’t have any value.

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      Áprès nous, le déluge.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        IOW: sucks to be them!

    • Nephilium

      CV will go away

      Here’s hoping. I’m worried that this will be a new winter/spring tradition.

      • Agent Cooper

        The good news is that when viruses tend to mutate, they can become less lethal and less communicable.

    • AlexinCT

      Which ever party wins the election is gonna have to figure out how to deal with this massive financial problem

      After they crashed the economy to get Obama elected, they spent 8 years blaming that idiot Boosh while passing one executive order after the other crippling economic growth to make sure they could better control winners & losers. Then when orange man supposedly rolled back Obama’s stupid exec orders and the economy started flying, they wanted to credit Obama.

  44. The Late P Brooks

    This is the time for the busybody prudish types to shine and they’re going to seize it.

    Hitler Youth. Young Pioneers. Facebook Groups.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Having not read the article but having seen the picture I’m going to make a snap judgement of mentally ill.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      She looks stable.

    • Pat

      I guess licking items in the grocery store prior to the coronavirus pan(dem)ic it would have been fine though…

      • AlexinCT

        In California? You bet ya. They let people shit on sidewalks brah!

  45. gbob

    Snow. God damn snow outside. Just yesterday, I was on the back porch with some inebriates, soaking in the sun and listening to music.

    On the bright side, this is the first morning where I’ve woke up able to breathe normally, so I think my bout with Winnie the Flu is almost over with. I know the reaction has been overblown, but from personal experience, I can say that this is a nasty one. Not “shut down the economy” nasty, but nasty. Both the gal and I have been fighting it off for nearly a week and this is the first day where we felt better, rather than worse.

    Of course, since I can’t get an actual test here in Buffalo, I have no way to collect the sick pay promised by Instacart….and since Instacart is considered “essential” by NYS, there’s no way to get unemployment. So there’s two weeks of pay my household is going to be without, since my gal works for them too. Thankfully, her editing job will keep the mortgage paid. My freelance jobs, obviously, all fell through a few weeks back. Big issue for me is that the money I saved to do my book next summer (capturing the hikers of the Adirondack trail on film) is essentially gone, since I’m pretty fond of paying bills, eating, and keeping the lights on.

    Alright. That’s all the bitching I have to get out. Others have it worse.

    At least I had a chance to catch up on different streaming services. Wow. Disney plus sucks. CBS sucks. Hulu sucks. I think the only good streaming service that has offered a free trial is Pornhub. At least I don’t feel as dirty after watching midget porn as I do when watching one of the new Star Trek shows.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      So y’all actually tested positive for it?

      • gbob

        Nope. No tests are available in our county. Matched symptoms, both of our doctors said the same thing. “You probably do. If your breathing gets worse, go to a hospital. In the meantime consider yourself in quarantine.”

        On the other hand, at least actors in holywood are able to get multiple tests each week.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Glad you’re doing better.

      • Rhywun

        No tests are available in our county.

        Seriously? I think we have drive-thru tests around here (fat lot of good that does me).

        Glad you beat it.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Same in my state. Suddenly testing has moved to the back burner in favor of house arrest theatre. And the gov was caught red handed lying her ass off again about the tests.

      • Count Potato

        The delay in testing in annoying. I had a fever on Wednesday, and couldn’t get a test until Monday.

      • R C Dean

        My understanding is, the tests are highly unreliable until you are carrying a decent viral load. Waiting for a few days after getting symptoms greatly decreases the likelihood of a false positive. We won’t test our own employees for a couple days after they show symptoms, and if they get a test earlier, we don’t accept a negative result as clearance to come to work.

      • R C Dean

        decreases the likelihood of a false positive negative

        Why can’t I see these mistakes until I post?

      • Gustave Lytton

        That makes sense. There’s been a lot of issues with false negatives depending on that, how well the swab is done, swan location (I don’t think anyone is doing throat swabs anymore, they’re all Total Recall style nasal pharyngal swabs), viral loads and location in the body (upper/lower respiratory tract), etc.

      • Count Potato

        “decreases the likelihood of a false negative”

        But what if the pt gets better quickly? Viral load would go down, so more false
        negatives.

      • R C Dean

        But what if the pt gets better quickly?

        Then we don’t need to treat them for the Commie Cough, which is the main purpose of a test for active infection.

        Remember, while there is speculation that people are carriers after they are cured, no one has a clue how many or how much of a carrier they are. Not all carriers are created equal; how infectious you are is a function of your viral load. So a false negative test due a low viral load is likely not going to miss someone who is a major risk to others and should be quarantined.

        Also, you develop immunity best when your initial exposure is relatively low, so you can build immunity faster than your viral load builds. Getting a light exposure from somebody with a light viral load is probably the best thing that can happen to you.

    • Nephilium

      If you want to see terrible, watch some of the Blumhouse Production horror films Hulu’s made for the holidays. I don’t think I’ve seen one I would recommend yet, not even as drunken entertainment. On the plus side, they’ve got all of American Dad, Futurama, Archer, and It’s Always Sunny.

      HBO has released a bunch of their old series, some documentaries, and old movies for free. No sign in needed. That does include Veep, Silicon Valley, the Wire, and the Sopranos.

      • Q Continuum

        Blumhouse movies are complete garbage.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Yeah, I keep Hulu around for the TV comedy selection.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I don’t know what the rules are for businesses with more than 500 employees, but I do know that businesses with less than that have to pay the sick leave if you are complying with a quarantine, no test necessary. From my Congresscritter:

      The Coronavirus relief bill requires employers with less than 500 employees to provide two weeks of paid, virus-related sick leave and family leave. It would cover people who become infected with the Coronavirus or have to care for someone who is, as well as people who are quarantined or whose place of work or children’s school is closed due to Coronavirus. Self-employed workers would also get a tax credit equivalent to qualified sick leave.

    • gbob

      He killed one of my fantasy football team’s championship before, so it’s not like hiring a killer is the worst thing he’s ever done.

      • AlexinCT

        Hah hah hah!

    • KSuellington

      Not really that bad (if it was the right guys).

  46. The Late P Brooks

    we are currently moving in the completely wrong direction with our lockdown policies which he has described as “grotesque, absurd, and very dangerous.”

    *Fauci smiles, preens for cameras*

  47. Rebel Scum

    March For Our Lives, Other Leftist Youth Groups Make Demands Of Biden

    Seven progressive groups made up of young activists wrote a letter to apparent Democratic nominee Joe Biden with a set of aggressive demands spanning policy and personnel to earn their support in the general election against President Donald Trump.

    The letter, which comes hours after Bernie Sanders ended his campaign, tells Biden that his pitch to “return to normalcy” won’t earn the trust of younger generations or inspire them to vote, arguing that they were already falling behind economically before Trump took office.

    “Exclusively anti-Trump messaging won’t be enough to lead any candidate to victory. We need you to champion the bold ideas that have galvanized our generation and given us hope in the political process,” read the letter, signed by Alliance for Youth Action, Justice Democrats, March for Our Lives Action Fund, NextGen America, Student Action, Sunrise Movement, and United We Dream Action. …

    The groups call on Biden to endorse policy initiatives like Medicare for All, canceling all student debt, taxing wealth, and the Green New Deal framework of a fully clean energy economy by 2030. They make process demands like eliminating the legislative filibuster and adding seats to the Supreme Court. And they include personnel wishes like rejecting Wall Street or other corporate executives for important roles and to pick a Homeland Security chief committed to “dismantling ICE and CBP as we know them.”

    So full leftism, then.

    • leon

      March For Our Lives, Other Leftist Youth Groups Make Demands Of Biden

      I think the “Youth Group” pushes X is so funny that the DNC is enthralled to it. Shouldn’t the lesson of Biden v Bernie be: Don’t give a fuck what they Kids are demanding, because when it comes to it, they won’t show up at the polling station?

      • Rhywun

        They will if Joe goes full totalitarian. I’m sure someone in his campaign is already busy crunching the numbers to see if it will get him over the top.

      • leon

        If Grandpa “I’ll give you all the free shit you want” wasn’t enough to get the kids to vote, i don’t see how Biden does it.

      • Rhywun

        That’s because Gramps wasn’t ever going to be the nominee. The calculus is totally different now.

    • R C Dean

      Place Americans under lockdown, and open the borders completely.

      That’ll sell.

    • Rhywun

      I want to know why I can’t walk into a drugstore or supermarket today and buy a case.

      • Count Potato

        That too.

      • Rhywun

        TP, too.

        Are you telling me that, weeks and months into this shit, this country is completely incapable of ramping up production of these things?

        If that’s the case, we are more fucked than I thought.

      • Don Escaped Muhlenberg County

        ramping up

        They’re probably doing okay.
        a/ It took at least a week for the signal to hit the market; commodity producers react only to orders
        b/ Then a few days to start delivering zero commercial SKU
        c/ Then a few days for wholesale/distribution/retail
        d/ Then two weeks of continued panicked over-buying

        you’ll probably see things squared up any day now; so far, it’s 99% consumers’ fault

      • RAHeinlein

        Also businesses/manufacturing sites that are open are using/purchasing tons of this stuff so orders/requirements are well beyond expectations for a pull system.

      • Don Escaped Muhlenberg County

        yeah: I shouldn’t have said zero

        Also, consider this: grocers are selling more than ever; the shelves seemed empty for a while because the old JIT inventory was overwhelmed by the shift in channels

        see also meat packers: it took a while to go from commercial volume to almost purely retail volume; the quality and SKU mix for restaurants is different from shelf expectations at the grocery

      • robc

        Meat seems to have caught back up in the last week.

      • invisible finger

        Why would we need to ramp up production of TP? People aren’t shitting more. If anything, the pantshitting would consume clothing more than TP.

      • Don Escaped Muhlenberg County

        b/ Then a few days to start delivering zero commercial SKU

        they’re not ramping up; they’re changing formats and channels

      • invisible finger

        Which has next to nothing to do with production. I’m in the supply chain racket and one of my customers is a paper products company. I’m telling you what they told me.

      • Don Escaped Muhlenberg County

        you don’t understand the paper-converting process and the difference in the SKU and how you can’t just redirect a truckload of commercial grade material bound for Grainger to a Kroger near you where it miraculously turns into sweet, sweet Northern SuperFluff?

      • invisible finger

        The hell I don’t. My customers tell me the problem isn’t the formulation and production lines, it’s the packaging. In other words, they can change production fairly quickly, the bottleneck is the packaging – instead of wrapping 500 rolls in a brown paper wrapper, they have to wrap 24 rolls in a branded plastic wrapper. But we’re talking about branding, not production at that point.

      • Rhywun

        Why would we need to ramp up production of TP?

        Because there is demand for it.

      • invisible finger

        The demand for TP is being pushed forward, that is about all you can say. But people aren’t consuming it at a greater rate. Paper towels are a different story,the consumption rate of that IS increasing. But that is a question of plant capacity, which was probably close to 100% usage already.

      • Gustave Lytton

        The distributors and retailers won’t sell to retail customers, only hospitals, governments, and other designated institutions.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      But I don’t want to be eaten by a grue.

    • leon

      Cover Girl Strip Poker
      Sex Vixens From Space
      Softporn II

      And they say the industry is Toxic now…

    • Ownbestenemy

      Checks for Leisure Suit Larry….

      There goes my work day!

    • Drake

      Good for them – fuck this social distancing bullshit. They’ll all get it and most will be just fine.

    • Pat

      If history has taught us anything it’s that you can’t go wrong scapegoating the Jews.

    • Not Adahn

      I’m sorry, but the news insists that it’s only black and lateenks folx that are being disproportionately affected. Nothing about (((thrm))). Fortunately, Caesar Andy has decreed that resources be shifted immeditely to resolve this racial injustice.

      • Q Continuum

        Well (((we))) aren’t really people anyway, so no loss.

      • Naptown Bill

        (((You)))’re all doctors and lawyers, though, right? So (((y’all))) will be just fine, and if any old (((people))) die their affairs will likely be in order and then (((you))) can sue someone.

        Sidenote, I’m going to make millions coming up with a macro to put ((())) a word and sell it on like Zerohedge or somewhere. Call it Jewify, or maybe Jewdown.

        Second sidenote, how come we Macks and Micks don’t have special punctuation? Maybe asterisks? Ampersands? What looks like a bagpipe?

      • Drake

        What looks like an empty whiskey bottle?

      • Naptown Bill

        What did Dankula say? Headbutts, alcoholism, and teen pregnancy?

  48. Drake

    I hope so – do it now and exclude medical experts bureaucrats.

    President Trump is hinting at a second task force responsible for getting Americans back to work. Appoint it now, Mr. President.

  49. Trigger Hippie

    *hits bowl, sips coffee*

    Can’t work, so how about a rant?

    Antifa should never rear their ugly heads ever again after/if this nonsense dies down. For three years I witnessed people in that group affiliation March, vandalize, and scream to high heaven that the Age of Trump would herald in an authoritarian, fascist dictatorship. Well kiddos, we now have a situation where the federal government is genuinely starting to behave like one; I’m even beginning to hear rumblings of postponing elections. So where you at, Antifa? If you honest to god thought Trump is everything you claimed he was, NOW is the time to be at your most active, because this is probably as close to what you’ve warned against as you’re going to get. What, did you think Trump was going to hold a press conference, cackle maniacally into the microphone and announce the beginning of the Reign? Or would it be done more insidiously, something like what’s happening now?

    …I bet most of the Antifa crowd not only are more than enthusiastic about the shutdown, but think the federal government should be even more authoritarian in this situation.

    Trump’s a twat, sure, but Antifa is, was, and will always be a complete and total joke…fucking LARPers.

    *hits bowl, ends rant*

    • creech

      I thought the current meme was that Trump should act even more dictatorially, ordering all states to make their citizens cower in place? What good is a “literal Hitler” if he won’t behave like Hitler?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Looks like a Hideo Kojima game.

      • Naptown Bill

        Funny because true.

    • Count Potato

      what?

  50. The Late P Brooks

    Ron Paul once said that we’ll never run out of money as long as there are trees still standing. He added then that the paper just won’t have any value.

    Paper has been rendered superfluous. We’ll never run out of bits and bytes.

    As I have said before, it will work this time, because you won’t need to lug a wheelbarrow full of banknotes to the store for a loaf of bread. That debit card (or the banking app on your phone) can hold an unlimited supply of zeros.

    • UnCivilServant

      US dollars aren’t made from trees anyway. They’re 75/25 cotton/linen blend

      • Not Adahn

        A giveaway to Big Flax!

      • R C Dean

        See, that’s how you ackshually.

      • Q Continuum

        No this is how:

        ACKSHUALLY, the true composition is very highly classified to prevent counterfeiting.

      • Mojeaux

        You said it so I didn’t have to. I appreciate your sacrifice.

      • invisible finger

        So the Boll Weevil is our biggest threat.

      • Mojeaux

        We must choose the lesser of two weevils.

      • egould310

        ??☹️?????

      • robc

        I have seen the boll weevil monument in Enterprise, AL. I was not impressed.

    • Shirley Knott

      The Golgafrimchans did it better. Of course money grows on trees!
      Just like food is made at the grocery store.

    • Suthenboy

      But I still have checks left….

  51. The Late P Brooks

    Republikkkins want you to DIE

    The Kansas state legislature voted Wednesday to override a provision of the governor’s stay-at-home order that limited religious gatherings to 10 people, even as the coronavirus cases in the state grew this week, jumping 40 percent to over 1,000 with 38 deaths. Kansas’ Democratic governor Laura Kelly issued an updated statewide order on March 28 that resembled similar orders in other states: no large gatherings, limited travel, and the curtailment of daily business to those deemed essential. Pretty standard stuff. But not to Republicans in the state, who also happen to control the state house. Republican Senate leaders pushed to override the governor’s public health order and will now allow religious leaders to congregate freely on Easter Sunday.

    Republicans in the state legislature were able to undo the executive order using powers they granted themselves last month that allow the legislature to override the governor in a wide range of circumstances. The power grab by Republicans in the state came after GOP lawmakers were outraged when the governor was early to close schools for the remainder of the academic year and restrict foreclosures and evictions in response to the pandemic. Republicans in the state Senate saw the handwriting on the wall and, when the emergency order needed to be renewed, set about crafting an amendment that outlined what the governor did not have the authority to do in response to the pandemic. And it wasn’t just religious gatherings they were worried about protecting. It was access to guns and booze.

    Those bastards are taking away the governor’s dictatorial powers. Shocking. Un-American.

    • Q Continuum

      How DARE they actually protect 1A?!?! HOW DARE THEY!??!?!?!?

    • The Other Kevin

      “Power grab”. Huh.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Who did they grab it from, I wonder?

    • Don Escaped Muhlenberg County

      To the extent that KS does not issue fiat currency and they weren’t considering their budget, this balance-of-power exercise is the best thing they can do to promote freedom.

    • Mojeaux

      The KS governor ran on moderate-idity, but she is anything but. I was never so glad to be not a Kansan when she handed that down.

      MO governor has taken flak for expressly trying to keep his hands off municipalities and counties.

      • LJW

        As a resident of the state I can confirm, she’s looking to tax everything that moves and spend spend spend.

      • Mojeaux

        She’s a piece of work, but you could see the commie gleam in her eye on the TV commercials.

    • Pat

      These are the same people who will explain to you how shutting down the bath houses in San Francisco during the AIDS epidemic in the ’80s was theocracy.

    • Suthenboy

      Congratulations Brooks. I have been on for 2 minutes and I want to kick the shit out of someone.

      “The power grab by Republicans…”

      Fucking Slate. Commie shitweasels.

      • invisible finger

        Just remember Slate was Bill Gates’ dream.

      • R C Dean

        Repubs are definitely in on the Commie Cough power grab.

        So of course Slate call them out for a totally non-existent power grab.

    • leon

      no large gatherings, limited travel, and the curtailment of daily business to those deemed essential. Pretty standard stuff. But not to Republicans in the state, who also happen to control the state house

      I guess of 43 of the Governors decide to start throwing jailing journalists, it would just be “Pretty Standard Stuff”.

    • leon

      The power grab by Republicans

      This makes sense. All power is rightfully in the hands of whatever institution is controlled by the Democratic party.

  52. Suthenboy

    country-wide lockdown/house arrest, house to house searches for undesirables, closing businesses by fiat and limiting what can be bought and sold, outlawing religion, road blocks to check papers….of course the Dems have a hard on for this but they aren’t the only ones.

    • Pat

      I’m doing my part.

      • AlexinCT

        Same.

    • Translucent Chum

      I’m invincible!

  53. Timeloose

    So our illustrious governor just decided to close our schools for the year.

    Wolf you are a giant statist POS. This will further justify additional stay at home orders for the next two months.

    • Mojeaux

      close our schools for the year

      School year or calendar year?

      • Timeloose

        school year

    • invisible finger

      That’s so they can claim how they were successful in getting the schools reopened as if it was some accomplishment.

    • Naptown Bill

      A few Maryland counties have already done that, but in fairness there’s only a month and a half left. The real riots start when they decide they’ll all be remote in the fall.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        At least our property taxes will be lower, right?

      • Naptown Bill

        HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

        *wheeze*

        BAHAHAHAHAHAHA

        Have I ever mentioned how two mayors ago the city cut our garbage collection down to once a week (from twice) and stopped leaf pickup (except for public housing, which gets city-paid landscaping) because it was “too expensive”? And then the next mayor raised the fees for garbage collection because it had become more expensive? Which is weird, because usually when you get half of a thing it doesn’t cost more than the whole thing, but I’m not a yuppie shithead so what do I know?

      • Gustave Lytton

        And still beg for property tax measures to replace aging* facilities.

        *buildings which aren’t brand spanking new or they’ve failed to properly maintain or set aside reserves for replacement of predictable limited lifespan machinery like HVAC systems

      • Naptown Bill

        I mean, honestly, the best way you can improve Baltimore City schools is to stop sending children to them. Until local politicians acknowledge the ridiculous and blatant corruption in Charm City and take real steps to hold people accountable and change the entrenched culture of graft no amount of state funding will result in so much as a single new book nor will it stop those shameless bastards from crying for more. In other words, monkeys will fly out of my ass before Baltimore stops being a corrupt third-world shithole in desperate need of a MOAB.

    • ChipsnSalsa

      I’m sure our (WI) schools will be school at home only for rest of school year. My wife is going to work on some other mom’s to pull their kids from public school. Then the mom’s can do what they want (education wise) instead of having to jump through goofy hoops setup by the school district for the schooling at home stuff.

      With her she might be starting a rebellion, people listen to her. When we stopped attending a family function, the whole thing fell apart. When she said that our basketball end of year banquet was too long it was totally reformatted.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      I still maintain that if teachers started feeling the pinch like everyone else, lock-downs would be over shortly.

      • leon

        “We’re all in this together!” and by “We” i mean “You” and “in this” i mean “not getting paid

      • Certified Public Asshat

        But I’m also told teachers are working harder than ever to figure out this online thingy.

        https://www.khanacademy.org/ is not that complicated.

  54. The Late P Brooks

    Washed up pol wants attention

    Former President Barack Obama on Wednesday said it would not be feasible to relax current measures to combat the spread of coronavirus without a “robust system of testing and monitoring — something we have yet to put in place nationwide.”
    The tweet presents a notable contrast in tone compared to the views of President Donald Trump, who on Wednesday morning tweeted that the country’s economy must reopen “sooner rather than later” and that the pandemic “must be quickly forgotten” for those who haven’t lost a loved one. But coronavirus testing is still not widely available, limiting the ability to relax current social distancing guidelines to prevent a resurgence of the virus.

    ——-

    Obama’s tweet offers another apparent criticism of his successor, whose presidency he has largely avoided commenting on. Last month, Obama urged Americans to continue social distancing despite Trump’s upbeat pronouncements of a nearing return to normalcy.
    Obama has tweeted encouraging messages during the outbreak, though he’s not directly criticized the Trump administration’s response to it.

    He doesn’t need to “directly” criticize Trump. He has you to interpret his pronouncements for us.

    • LJW

      What makes him an expert on this? Is he in intelligence meetings every day?

      • AlexinCT

        He is a COMMUNITY ORGANIZER, man! That’s all you need to be an expert…

      • Gustave Lytton

        He’s got a phone and a pennewspaper.

    • RAHeinlein

      “largely avoided commenting on” – a couple weeks ago, it was “a rare criticism”

      Michelle Obama went on a media spree immediately after the election, and later a worldwide book tour with a focus-on criticizing Trump, and both O’s were heavily involved in campaigns during the last election cycle.

    • bacon-magic

      If you like your doctor you can keep your doctor. – big fat liar

  55. LJW

    I am fairly certain a facederp friend of mine went to the hospital claiming he had corona symptoms just so he could get a photo op of himself in a hospital bed to post for sympathy. I’m currently running a bet with friends that his test results will come back negative. I also wouldn’t be surprised if he wasn’t the only person doing this. People are crazy.

    • Count Potato

      If he’s going to a hospital he could catch it there.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Or something else even nicer.

    • KSuellington

      My cousin is a fireman here and says they have almost exclusively Coronavirus freak outs now for calls. He was pretty suspicious about the emergency nature of most of them.

  56. The Late P Brooks

    Congratulations Brooks. I have been on for 2 minutes and I want to kick the shit out of someone.

    I’m doing my part.

  57. Rufus the Monocled

    I wonder if Staples not paying rent includes Canadian locations.

  58. Rufus the Monocled

    Staples really messed up here. They get to stay open while many don’t AND they’re looking to screw landlords over.

    Who ever decided this should step down.

    • Mojeaux

      Office Depot is still open. I don’t know about next-door Michaels because I am abstaining from purchasing craft supplies, which means I can’t go into a craft store.

      • Count Potato

        For lent? Do Mormons even do lent?

      • Mojeaux

        Why in the world would you assume it’s for Lent? Do people not abstain from things on other days for other reasons?

      • Count Potato

        Because it’s Lent now?

      • leon

        No. Not as a Practice. I kinda wish we did more around the holy week than we do, but much of our more temporal traditions are influenced by Protestantism rather than Catholicism.

      • Mojeaux

        I apologize for being snippy, CP. It would never occur to me to actually DO anything for Lent. I make the joke “giving it up for Lent,” but we don’t do that. Our lives are pretty much abstaining from one thing or another.

        I am abstaining because I can’t afford to waste money buying craft supplies when it seems BUYING the craft suplies IS my actual hobby.

      • Count Potato

        de nada

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Looked at their financial numbers, they’re just buying time before they go under. They showed losses of $1.34/share last year.

      • RAHeinlein

        Did your Payroll Protection Program loan come through?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Still submitting paperwork. The banks are covering their asses well.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        There’s a second wave that hit Singapore. I’m now in the pessimistic camp that this will get better soon. These loans are temporary in nature meaning we need the economy to get rolling fast. If it goes past a certain critical point, watch out.

  59. The Late P Brooks

    What makes him an expert on this? Is he in intelligence meetings every day?

    I wouldn’t be surprised to hear Obama gets regular briefings from the apparatchiks.

    • leon

      I think its a “courtesy” that the Intelligence Agencies give former presidents a brief. Of course I’m the wrong personality for being president, but if they tried that with me id be like “Get away from here, i quit and i don’t give a rats ass anymore”.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        But that’s why you’ll never be president. You’re not a power-hungry sociopath.

    • Rhywun

      Fuck… Kerry is still conducting foreign policy. I expect Obama has his fingers in a bunch of pies too.

  60. The Late P Brooks

    Looked at their financial numbers, they’re just buying time before they go under. They showed losses of $1.34/share last year.

    On the rare occasions I have wandered into Staples in the past few years, it was impossible not to ask myself how they stay in business. Huge stores with no customers in them. Maybe it has something to do with the high prices.

    • Drake

      As I said above – those stores are fulfillment centers for all the business offices in the area. With the businesses closed, I doubt Staples can pay their rent.

      • Defiant YDAK of the Desert

        Meanwhile all the Fleet vehicles are making Bank off of cheap fuel, Truckers, Amazon, all the delivery people,

      • Gustave Lytton

        Except for the businesses that tried to mitigate higher fuel costs through hedges or bulk fuel contracts and didn’t backstop it for lower prices.

      • Naptown Bill

        Oh god, can you imagine if you shorted oil right now? At current prices I’m a little surprised there aren’t people jumping out of windows.

      • robc

        If they hedged properly, they throw away the options as worthless, and just buy the lower fuel.

        hedging is insurance, you are going to add on a little bit of additional cost unless things go to hell, then you make bank.

      • Don Escaped 1PHJ1

        I never understood splits as other than mindless speculation with twice the expense

      • Gustave Lytton

        I think I used the wrong term. If they bought oil futures without properly hedging. It’s been at least a decade since my intro to commodity markets class.

    • Naptown Bill

      I went in to one a few months ago and there were definitely more employees than customers. Best Buy is hanging on by a thread but I think their appliances and TVs are keeping them going. I don’t know what the hell is keeping Staples retail up. Their business sales are probably decent, but the brick-and-mortar stores have got to be losing cash.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Best Buy is still alive because they diversified. They do a lot online, and the Geek Squad and protection plans are very profitable. They also do extremely well with home appliances, it’s the most profitable section of the store by far.

      • Pope Jimbo

        From a buddy who used to work there: “I am astonished at the amount of people who will buy free TV shows on DVD for insane amounts of money”

        That was only a few years ago too. He said that old people love buying DVDs of various TV shows because they have learned how to operate their DVD player and don’t understand streaming services.

        Basically all of BBY’s revenue is from older demographics who aren’t sure how to do simple technical things (Geek Squad and other services fit this).

        They will last another 10 years, but they are eventually going to be eaten up by competitors

      • R C Dean

        He said that old people love buying DVDs of various TV shows because they have learned how to operate their DVD player and don’t understand streaming services.

        I understand that shows disappear from streaming services or move around on them, that they will delete episodes or shows deemed unmutual, and that streaming is only as good as your ISP. I actually don’t have a DVD player now, but am thinking about getting one (they are very cheap). We still have some excellent content on DVDs, and there are a few shows at least that I would like to have on DVD (The Shield, for starters).

      • Fatty Bolger

        That’s the old Best Buy, which was half DVD’s and video games, and everything overpriced to try to take advantage of people who didn’t know better, or know how to shop online. Over the last few years they’ve pivoted away from that to online sales, price matching in store with online and competitors like Amazon, and a “store within a store” concept with partners like Samsung, Google, Microsoft, Apple, and so on. It’s one of the “click and mortar” success stories.

    • Mojeaux

      I’ve wondered that about Office Depot lately. The two things I’ve needed to buy quickly they haven’t had.

      “You can purchase it online.”

      “Not at those prices, I’m not.”

      They do have 2 very sweet office chairs I want, but my beloved one isn’t dead yet.

  61. Fourscore

    I saw McConnell o TV earlier, begging for another 251B. Why 251? Exact amount needed to fix things? Wants a unanimous voice vote.

    Back of the envelope says 1B = $3 US, 251 = 753 US per person. 1 T = $3000 per, 6 T =18K new debt per person. That’s 18 K new money per person, chasing fewer goods than were previously produced because of the shut down.

    I’m not smart like Powell at the Fed but damn, man, 18 K of inflation per person. How can that not bite me (us) in the ass? Powell says, “Oh, the Fed will cover it” but where does the Fed have this treasure trove of cash? Are these the checks still in my checkbook?

    Appears to me the best thing is to go to the max on credit cards, buy a new car (and a nice one, this time) on credit, finance everything, get the unemployment money and then file for bankruptcy. Guess I was wrong to believe that Production preceded Consumption. The Old “Broken Handle Shovel Theory”, can’t dig very well anymore.

    • leon

      Oh, the Fed will cover it

      By Raising Interest Rates? I don’t know how you combat the problem of “Hey we just gave everyone a shit ton of money and No one has been able to produce anything for a month so there is less to buy” than by raising interest rates so that people shove their money into savings rather than bidding up prices in Inflation. And even then you still have a problem of inflated returns.

      We’re all jacked and catastrophic failure is the only option.

    • Pope Jimbo

      You’ll never get a job on CNN with math skillz like that.

      Don’t you know that $1B is like a million dollars for every voter or something?

      • AlexinCT

        You and your math are racialist your holiness!

      • Pope Jimbo

        Hey! My math is just fine. It is Fourscore who is being a shitlord White Nationalist with his accurate math.

    • Q Continuum

      WaPo tries, fails, to be the Bee.

    • leon

      Cocaine Mitch, The Renegade Leader, Sits upon his throne of skulls.

      They must have a secret infatuation with the Turtle.

    • AlexinCT

      This is one of the things that pisses team blue and the left the most. They were sooooo close to corrupting the judicial branch and having it be nothing more than another agent of the left’s machinations, and then orange man went and pissed 5 decades of hard work down the drain for them in just one 4 year term. Be prepared to see some crazy shit (like an attempt to expand courts so they can stack the odds back in their favor or efforts to start impeaching these judges they don’t like, maybe both things) once they get back into power and decide to get back to the business of weaponizing government entities and the judiciary for their cause.

      • leon

        But Democrats say that after Republicans blocked Supreme Court nominee Merrick Garland and other lower court judges during President Barack Obama’s final term only to quickly fill those vacancies once President Donald Trump was in office, the party needs an equally bruising response.

        Garland is so tiring to hear about. They act like the idea that an Opposition controlled senate was going to confirm a new justice of a Lame Duck president is the worst thing ever.

    • UnCivilServant

      Get back to me when it’s over 9000.

  62. Q Continuum

    What the more likely catalyst for WWIII?

    India and Pakistan nuke each other, or Taiwan and PRC shit hits the fan?

    • leon

      I’d like to say Taiwan/PRC because it involves PRC. But i don’t know what the resolve of the other Global Powers is to defend Taiwan against the PRC.

      My first recation to India/Pakistan is: “Why would anyone care?” but it actually seems like a breeding ground for world powers to end up aligning against each other.

      • R C Dean

        I think India/Pakistan is a more likely trigger for a regional/world war than China/Taiwan.

        If they weren’t both nuked up, I suspect they would have already gone at it in a serious way.

    • Tundra

      The latter, I would think. China is going to back themselves into a corner shortly. Adding starvation to the list of glorious CCP achievements is going to force them to act.

    • R C Dean

      Nobody is going to war to save Taiwan from the ChiComs.

      My wish: that we would recognize them as a nation, give them nukes, and set up a naval base* there (if we don’t already have one). That should solve their ChiCom problem.

      *Given China’s interference with maritime navigation, a naval base is easily justifiable.

      • bacon-magic

        I predict within 6 months the truth of the origins of this virus and the coverup will become known. Then shit may very well hit the fan.

      • R C Dean

        Well, aren’t you optimistic.

      • bacon-magic

        Of course I am…Communism may very well be eradicated.
        *just showing the optimistic side, don’t think about everyone else being eradicated too

    • AlexinCT

      Iran’s COVID21 infected Ayatollah decides they must nuke Israel?

      • Pope Jimbo

        I want the old classics.

        Can we get Turkey to invade Europe (officially, not with Syrian “refugees”)? Vienna could use another siege.

    • Drake

      I’d say neither. Nobody outside the fallout zone would care enough to intervene if India and Pakistan go nuclear.

      China isn’t invading anyone.

      The PRC leadership is evil and ruthless, but it’s also cautious and historically literate and can read maps. Accordingly, the People’s Liberation Army is designed not to take territory but to hold the territory the PRC already has. Its mission is not conquest but the suppression of regional warlordism inside China itself. The capability for the PLA to wage serious expeditionary warfare doesn’t exist, and can’t be built in the near-term future.

      The brute fact constraining the PRC’s ambitions in that direction is that mass movement of troops by sea is risky and difficult. I recently did the math on Chinese sealift craft and despite an expensive buildup since the 1980s they don’t have the capacity to move even a single division-sized formation over ocean. Ain’t nobody going to take Taiwan with one division, they’ve has too much time to prepare and fortify over the last 60 years.

      • R C Dean

        Interesting. What about a naval blockade? How much food/oil/other essentials does Taiwan import?

      • Drake

        We just naval blockade China in response?

      • leon

        The US won’t go to war for Taiwan. At least not against PRC.

      • BakedPenguin

        China isn’t invading anyone.

        Tell that to Tibet. Also, the Philippines.

      • BakedPenguin

        Poor response on my part. Tibet, obviously is a fait accompli. The Philippines look to be next on the chopping block.

    • Pine_Tree

      Chicomms cockroach-stomp the Norks to:
      – distract from their problems
      – claim a “win”
      – practice for PLA
      – curry a “savior/protector” position with ROK
      – remove a reason for US troops to be in ROK
      – tell the world they fixed it

      • Pine_Tree

        oh yeah, but not a catalyst for WW3, which is part of their reason for choosing this option

      • Translucent Chum

        I’m actually okay with that.

      • Drake

        1. Don’t think that would remove the need for U.S. troops in SK, probably the opposite.

        2. Then they will own NK, have to deal with one of the poorest populations in the world, and come under constant pressure to let the Koreas reunite.

      • Pine_Tree

        Oh yeah, they mean to reunite the Koreas under the PRC’s commercial/military sphere. And for the ROKs to carry the cost and social burden for it. And for part of the deal to be no US forces. Kindof a “deal you can’t refuse”.

    • Naptown Bill

      I’d think the former, but I don’t think there’s going to be another war on the scale of WWI or WWII. Not in the next fifty years at least. The potential major players are too dependent on each other for resources used for materiel, such as oil, steel, etc., and the appetite for war seems to be low among the potential belligerents. Proxy wars will I think continue to be the norm. I also don’t think the PRC will get froggy enough to directly take on the USN in the Pacific. Rather, they’ll continue to try to endear themselves to regional powers as a benevolent big brother and wait for the US to decide it’s too expensive to maintain a significant naval presence there.

    • Pine_Tree

      My assumption for most-likely long-term answer is not WW3 but Cold War 2, between China and India. China’s doing the quiet empire-building in Africa, with buildup of military capability in the South China Sea and bases along the Indian Ocean and periperies. The USN will inevitably continue fading in size and capability in the Western Pacific anyway, so PRC doesn’t have to do anything but wait. But India sits in the middle of PRC’s empire plan, and will push back.

    • leon

      When did she become a vampire tho?

  63. PieInTheSky

    Making Smoky Andouille Sausage for a Crawfish Boil in New Orleans — Prime Time

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPvvYhuaXbI

    if it is a Crawfish Boil why does one need sausage?

    • UnCivilServant

      Like with a clam bake, the title critter isn’t the only food on offer in the event.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        Much like a cassoulet.

    • egould310

      Because sausage.

    • l0b0t

      While mudbugs are delicious, the best parts of a boil, for me, are the vegetables – potatoes, corn, merliton, all spicy and then topped with butter and washed down with a Dixie beer. Pure Heaven.

      • Suthenboy

        *facepalm*

        I have had this conversation before, many times.

        I didn’t pay a fortune for crawfish to fill up on corn and potatoes. I am eating crawfish.

    • leon

      if it is a Crawfish Boil why does one need sausage?

      Why wouldn’t you want sausage?

  64. Fourscore

    Summer in the City

    Gonna be a different one this year. Rockin’ chair money comin’ in, lots of time, don’t have to work. Time for gang bangin’ for real. Good times again

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZdDrDbth0g