Tuesday Morning Links

by | Apr 7, 2020 | Daily Links | 541 comments

Coming soon (hopefully)!

Finally some sports news! Now let’s see what baseball does.

Saint Francis Xavier was born on this day. He shares it with poet William Wordsworth, cereal magnate Will Keith Kellogg, CIA spook Allen Dulles, jazz singer Billie Holiday, musician Ravi Shankar, mobster Crazy Joe Gallo, acting legend James Garner, CA governor and part-time cult member Jerry Brown, director and vintner Francis Ford Coppola, martial arts actor Jackie Chan, and actor Russell Crowe.

Jerry Brown and friend

OK, that’s a decent list I suppose. But now…the links!

The Wisconsin State Supreme Court upholds the law. Now if others will follow, up to and including the US Supreme Court, maybe we can end this pseudo-Martial Law we’re living under.

“We shall fight it in the ICU”

The British Trump is still in ICU. And don’t go looking for any British news outlets posting about it on twitter if you have any hopes of reading well-wishes from the left. You won’t find much aside from glee at his predicament.

Even now, some animals are more equal than others. Never change, Chicago government. Never change.

Nice haircut, hypocrite.

I guess that goes for New York as well. And I continue to be unsurprised.

The Navy gets into a civil war of words. You know, speeches like this aren’t productive. The guy should have lost his command, but this is unnecessary piling-on.

Papers please! Jesus H Christ. This is getting ridiculous, especially for Texas.

Enjoy this. Don’t worry, irrational Pixies haters. I’ve moved on.

Now go have a great day, friends.

About The Author

sloopyinca

sloopyinca

541 Comments

  1. Pat

    I guess that goes for New York as well.

    It’s different when the king does it…

    • Count Potato

      So Pat, what are your thoughts on different flavors of Linux? I got that Pinebook Pro. It originally came with blobbed Debian, but now ships with Manjaro. From what I can tell, Ubuntu has the most software packages. Or is it that software sites don’t list Manjaro because everyone uses pacman?

      • Pat

        Manjaro basically just duplicates Arch repos and holds back updates for 2 weeks in an effort to increase stability. You can also set up the AUR for additional packages if you need them – I believe Yay is the currently fashionable AUR helper. Ubuntu is Debian based, so nearly any package ever built for linux is available in one way or another. Either one is a good option. The Pinebook, even the Pro, is a little resource constrained, so picking something as debloated as possible is always a good idea. For my OG Pinebook I ended up just installing Arch from scratch on an encrypted LVM, then manually updated to the Manjaro kernel as the mainline aarch64 kernel is broken on the original Pinebook.

      • Count Potato

        So Arch packages should work for Manjaro? I think the Manjaro kernel in the PBP is pretty close to mainline. If I go to the Manjaro site, they list plenty of software that won’t run on a PBP because it’s x86. So maybe being ARM might be more limiting than whatever linux I use, anyway.

      • Pat

        Manjaro is built on Arch – packages are interchangeable. The main repo is a mirror of the Arch aarch64 repo, and it’s got a pretty good selection of software. Pretty well representative of the current state of linux on ARM. All the major DEs are available, LibreOffice, VLC, mplayer, Firefox, Thunderbird, Chromium, torrent clients, most of the essential stuff you’d want.

      • Count Potato

        OK, good.

      • UnCivilServant

        Don’t know about Pat, but I’ve been using Mint for the interface. I can’t stand Ubuntu’s Unity.

      • Pat

        Ubuntu went back to Gnome for the default interface now, albeit a reskinned version. They’ve got other desktop spins as well – Lubuntu (LXDE), Xubuntu (Xfce), Ubuntu Mate. I think they killed Kubuntu, but Kaos is more or less the same thing.

        All my desktop systems are on Void with Xfce, but since the Pine products are ARM based the selection of OSes is a little more limited.

      • UnCivilServant

        *shrugs*

        Until I see a need to shop for a new distro, they’ve still driven me away because of that prior error in judgement.

      • Pat

        I’ve never actually installed Ubuntu to disk, but the built in Amazon ads a few years back were enough for me to remove it from consideration. For an easy mode distro I’d way rather just use Manjaro, openSuse, or PCLinuxOS.

      • UnCivilServant

        … built-in ads are worse than a poor UI.

        Who is calling the shots over there? (rhetorical question)

      • Pat

        FWIW, I believe the newer PInebook Pros are supposed to ship with Manjaro, and it seems they devote a fair amount of dev time to the Pine devices, so that’s probably the way to go if you want to keep an up to date system with the latest fixes and patches for Pine.

      • Count Potato

        That’s a good point.

      • Q Continuum

        I like Ubuntu.

      • leon

        i run 18.04 at home and at work.

  2. commodious spittoon

    Even now, some animals are more equal than others.

    “You’re all in this together.”

    • Swiss Servator

      “Don’t you know who I am?”

    • Rhywun

      Mayor Lori Lightfoot announces the “We Are Not Playing” initiative at Soldier Field

      OFFS.

      Up next, the “DOOOOM!11!” initiative.

      • sloopyinca

        Mayor Lori Lightfoot announces the “We Are Not Playing” initiative at Soldier Field.

        Are the Cleveland Browns going to sue her for stealing their franchise’s postseason slogan?

      • Fourscore

        Can’t tell if she’s had a haircut but at least Chicagoans are getting one.

  3. Pat

    The Navy gets into a civil war of words.

    Yeah, saying things like that in public was just totally unacceptable. Now if he’d had information about Trump getting peed on by hookers in Moscow…

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      prompted calls from Democratic lawmakers for Modly’s resignation

      I don’t know if this is new as of Trump, or just newly reported on as of Trump, but it’s as boring and predictable as them bitching every time he fires somebody.

      The media is pure evil.

      • Festus

        He took a super-carrier out of action in frought times. He should be court-martialed.

      • RAHeinlein

        Yep, and broadcasted military readiness issues to the world.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Imagine for a moment how the ChiComs would have dealt with an intelligence leak of that nature.

  4. Pat

    Don’t worry, irrational Pixies haters. I’ve moved on.

    I guess you could say that monkey’s gone to heaven.

    • The Last American Hero

      There’s nothing wrong with the Pixies – so long as you’re an angsty high school junior eager to show how non-conformist you are by listening to “college music” instead of Van Halen.

      • Pat

        Pixies hasn’t been cool for high school juniors or college kids in at least 20 years.

      • Tundra

        Lol. I was introduced to them by my boss!

        This was in the ’90s, but I was well past college.

  5. Swiss Servator

    “You know, speeches like this aren’t productive. The guy should have lost his command, but this is unnecessary piling-on.”

    Like shooting French Admirals, pour encourager les autres.

    • Festus

      We talked yesterday about this. He fucked up. Hard.

      • sloopyinca

        The commander absolutely fucked up. He should have been relieved. But the Navy Secretary should have left it at that and simply refused to discuss it beyond the clear and demonstrable facts. It serves no positive purpose.

      • Festus

        Agreed.

      • AlexinCT

        As Swiss points out: this shitshow was done to set an example for others.

  6. Festus

    Quite honestly the glee that some are exhibiting over this is one of the most disturbing things that I’ve seen in my life.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Their religion requires public displays of support for the tenets of their faith.

  7. Stinky Wizzleteats

    What kind of terminal loser who doesn’t belong in polite society doesn’t like The Pixies?

    • Festus

      I like some of their tunes so I guess that makes me a “marginal loser”.

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t even know any of their tunes and only heard of them today.

    • AlmightyJB

      I like Pixie Porn. Does that count?

      • Festus

        *needs edit fairie pics*

      • Tonio

        Be careful what you ask for, Festus…

      • Festus

        But I wanted the bouncing boy…


        *THAT IS FAIRY POPPINS TO YOU, M8*

      • Festus

        faps

      • Festus

        Glibs are the best in these trying times.

      • Galt1138

        Nice! Although, far too small to be any fun. Yes, yes, I know that’s the nature of pixies: naked, small and beautiful – just to tease humans.

      • Festus

        Nice!

      • Pat

        I hope David Fincher has to at least spend a few centuries in purgatory for making Where Is My Mind the Pixies’ biggest hit.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Is that right? I don’t particularly care for that song, their more upbeat stuff is my preference.

      • Pat

        It was used in the iconic final scene of Fight Club, so for pretty much everybody my age and under it’s the only Pixies song they’ve heard.

        Surfer Rosa and Doolittle could just be mashed together into a double album and be called their greatest hits collection as far as I’m concerned.

      • Festus

        It was very well used in in the TV series “The Leftovers” even though I can’t wrap my brain about what it it all meant in the end.

  8. Rebel Scum

    “This is just something that we shouldn’t focus on. There’s much better things to talk about,” he said.

    “I’m more important than you.”

    • Festus

      Yep. It’s good and the banter lives up to standard.

    • RAHeinlein

      Seconded – just read this morning.

      • Festus

        No Hihns here. Funny that.

      • bacon-magic

        *giggle farts

      • bacon-magic

        93% of all libertarians are bullied by other libertarians.

      • Invisible BEAM of the comment stream

        What on Earth is wrong with the other 7%?

    • invisible finger

      I disagree.

      • Festus

        The Hype has TWO accounts?

    • Fourscore

      Thanks HM, that’s a reason to get up early in the morn.

      The unknown unknowns are always waiting, waiting, ready to pounce.

    • Galt1138

      Hmm. Yes, well written. Perhaps I’m in the minority. But. I found its point rather obvious and belabored.

  9. leon

    Wisconsin legislature should impeach and remove the governor. Suspending elections with such a short notice, after he had acknowledged needing the legislature to act is vile. He literally did the “if Congress won’t do what I want, I’ve got a pen and phone”.

    Also, thank goodness RBG and crew don’t run the nation, because the seem intent on making arbitrary rule changes the norm of law rather than an anathema to it.

    • sloopyinca

      When you start ruling based on “intent” rather than constitutionality of an action, you end up with shit like Title IX being applied to gender rather than sex and decisions like Roe v Wade applying the 1A to a medical procedure. Or shit like Korematsu standing.
      It’s bad precedent. Very, very bad precedent.

      • Rebel Scum

        “Compelling government interest”…

  10. Rebel Scum

    “We know that with careful attention to public safety and strictly following these rules and orders we make our city safer,” Galena Park Mayor Esmeralda Moya said in the release.

    I’m sure the statement sounds better in its original German.

    • Festus

      You need to go “Full Reddit” and replace German with Yiddish.

    • sloopyinca

      She’s technically correct. In fact, you could make your city nearly 100% safe if you ordered the summary execution of anybody committing any offense, including spitting in public or jaywalking. But her job isn’t to make the city safe. It’s to ensure rights are upheld.

      Just another well-intentioned authoritarian piece of shit.

      • Festus

        People are starting to speed up here (well, noticeably more than usual). I usually do my commute at about ten over the limit and folks were passing me like I was standing still. You have to go with the flow of traffic or you become the liability. Some butt-plug pulled out on the highway two nights ago and I had to hit the brakes hard. Fuck off, speed demons. I don’t always want to die.

      • The Last American Hero

        That episode was shit. 53 minutes of tension and build up and the aliens are convinced to let him go because reasons. Episodes like that are why DS9 is the best Trek.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Early TNG suffered from being in that no man’s land between episodic story telling of TOS and the broader arcs that defined DS9 and beyond.

        That episode would’ve made a great 2 or 3 episode arc. In fact, you can see the potential for such a thing in Worf’s discommendation story.

  11. westernsloper

    Asked about photos on social media showing her with a stylist, Lightfoot acknowledged getting a haircut, then said the public cares more about other issues.

    Yes, like whether or not you had to pay for that cut? And will the stylist be ticketed and fined?

  12. Private Chipperbot

    When officials who put these orders in place don’t follow them, it tell me they’re not that worried about it. Much like climate crusaders who fly private jets and buy houses on the oceanfront property.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Rules are written and enforced for the lowest common denominator plebs. When a person who matters violates the rules you can bet it was for a damn good reason because they’re smart enough to decide for themselves so they get an exception.

    • AlexinCT

      When officials who put these orders in place don’t follow them, it tell me they’re not that worried about it.

      One set of rules for them, another for the fucking unwashed sheeple.

      And they are not worried, because they sent out the enforcers to make sure the fucking sheeple can’t pollute their air.

    • Idle Hands

      What about the geriatric degenerates in congress still holding meetings? Aren’t they this things target demo? are they keeping the meetings to under 10?

  13. Rufus the Monocled

    “Asked about that, a visibly annoyed Lightfoot said, “I’m the public face of this city. I’m on national media and I’m out in the public eye.

    “I’m a person who, I take my personal hygiene very seriously. As I said, I felt like I needed to have a haircut,” Lightfoot said. “I’m not able to do that myself, so I got a haircut. You want to talk more about that?”

    And people don’t take they personal hygiene seriously? You think for one second people are happy they can’t go get fricken groomed? Twat supreme.

    Personally, I’m ANGRY. My income has been cut by 40% and my business is shut down. The thing that burns me is a good chunk of people (at least in my circle) are still going along nicely still working from home getting paid. (Small) Business owners and employees in certain industries (naturally, people who had the misfortune of working on what’s considered to be non-essential – with is meaningless at this point) looks are taking the biggest hit. Ottawa is staying shut until June. Quebec pushed it to May 4. The financial aid I was forced to take doesn’t cover my expenses on both personal and business. For the balance have to take the emergency government loan. Pissed, pissed, PISSED.

    Tell you what Bobby, if they don’t open this sucker up, I’m one of those people who under the right conditions, will go riot I’m that pissed.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The same people who are defending her are moaning about Trump not wearing a mask.

      • AlexinCT

        Expecting consistency from these morons, is like expecting me to respect them in the morning.

        As we have repeatedly pointed out: if tomorrow we had an announcement that Trump had found a cure for prostate cancer, these same people, would show up to decry his masochism and mysogynism in not finding the cure for breast cancer. They will oppose it because he approves it or wants it. If he tells them today he wants a blue sky, they will pray for a snowstorm. If he wants that storm 5 minutes after they begin praying, they will switch to praying for blue skyes.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      And since I’m ranting, this virus from CHINA couldn’t have come at a worse time. I expanded the business and have debt obligations that AREN’T being forgiven or deferred through this. ‘We’re in this together’ bull shit doesn’t extend to business. The banks, landlords and credit companies want their damn money. What makes me laugh is the temporary financial aid comes with a string attached: I can’t take in any other source of income while they send the money? Are you fricken kidding me? The amount they’re sending is a STIPEND. They should just send the money and SHUT UP since this is a GOVERNMENT MANDATED partial shutdown.

      Fine. I’ll do my part. But what I can do without is some really dumb ass comments like ‘it’s ok. You’ll survive. We need to do this’ from people who still make their six digit income. They’re going through ZERO pain or stress. It’s testing friendships I’m telling you. I’m keeping distance from a close buddy because I’m simply not liking the things he’s saying.

      Another buddy of ours isn’t sure he’ll have a business to go back to since suppliers may all be gone. When I mentioned this to the aforementioned friend he said, ‘he has money I don’t worry for him’. I understand what he meant, but it was disappointing to hear. He’s so convinced we have to ‘do this’ I had to remind him a) no one wants to lose their business. It took them 35 years to build it and b) they employed 35 high-skilled workers with avg. salary probably in the 80k range. Now do try to get your head out of your ass and imagine this happening across the CONTINENT.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I can’t imagine that mentality. I’m lucky enough to have not been impacted yet, but my wife’s studio is shut down indefinitely. The callousness required to cheer on this wanton destruction means one of two things. Either they’ve been duped into believing that this pandemic was so serious that nuking the economy is the only way to prevent it, or it confirms their technocratic biases.

      • Pat

        Your livelihood is a sacrifice we are willing to make!

      • Idle Hands

        #inthistogether.

      • Idle Hands

        Rufus don’t worry, if this goes the way I think there wont be anyone with a job. Nobody, Nobody is going to be immune from the fallout of a consumer and sales based economy having 30% unemployment. Noone. No business has margins to sustain that loss.

      • R C Dean

        Something foreseeable something something not unintended.

    • Festus

      A decent pair of dog-clippers will set you back about $25 Canadian, you cunte.

    • Count Potato

      Sorry. That child care is “non-essential” is stupid. Never mind children don’t seem all that susceptible to the virus.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Even if they open us, people are on lockdown. Paid vacation basically.

      • WTF

        I am working from home, and my wife works in a hospital so we are not impacted at all financially. We know we are very lucky. Even though she isn’t needed, I have started paying my dog walker/sitter 80% of her usual weekly fee just to keep her going and because I don’t want to see her going out of business.

      • Galt1138

        Commendable. I know lots of people trying to do this to help others.

        Heck, our company is paying freelance union employees for what we would’ve scheduled them for prior to the COVID-19 craziness, even though there are no sports for these people to edit pregame show pieces.

        And it’s not a small sum. I had to provide an analysis for HR with an estimate a week’s labor. Just for the area my group overseas is a substantial figure, roughly $360K. The company will likely end up paying that for 8 weeks. With the exception of perhaps a dozen out of nearly 200 union freelancers, no one is actually doing any work and still getting paid (as well as getting company contributions for their health and retirement funds).

        So, when I hear people complaining about the cut throat private sector, I want to sit them down and give a come to Jesus lecture. The private sector is not filled entirely with monolithic, Scrooge McDuck characters.

  14. Rebel Scum

    Wut?

    Pelosi said, “Well, people should not have to decide whether they can vote or be sick. That’s just not a good choice for anyone in a democracy. And you would think that the Supreme Court of the United States would not overturn a court decision which gave the voters extra time to do vote by mail by a few more days to get their vote by mail ballot in. So, you have the Supreme Court of the United States undermining the — our democracy. It’s really shameful. 5-4, surprise, surprise.”

    Oh, I see. She means it undermines Democracy.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Is she undermining American democracy by undermining the Supreme Court? Of course she is but it’s OK when she does it.

      • Festus

        I just this morning watched that Biden presser. What the fuck?

      • Certified Public Asshat

        This one?

        JOE BIDEN: “We cannot let this, we’ve never allowed any crisis from the Civil War straight through to the pandemic of 17, all the way around, 16, we have never, never let our democracy sakes second fiddle, way they, we can both have a democracy and … correct the public health.” pic.twitter.com/ufXFh5cAtY— Breaking911 (@Breaking911) April 7, 2020

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Best timeline ever

      • Festus

        Depression. Pandemic (of questionable proportion) and runaway inflation. 1919 here we go again. Wheeeeee!

      • The Last American Hero

        And no Harding/Coolidge to save us this time.

      • Festus

        Yes.

      • leon

        I… Don’t think it was really as bad as a lot of people are making it. But then i’m kinda grading on a Joe Biden curve.

        What i don’t get is why his crew doesn’t do more takes? There’s no need for this to be live.

      • Festus

        Come on, Man! He’s obviously not fit to swing a pool chain at that brown guy that I used to stand behind!

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Really? The clip actually has me feeling bad for him. There is no one around him to pull him aside and tell him that his mental health is clearly failing him.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        They need to drag him across the finish line and hopefully win so they can install whoever gets chosen as VP on the ticket. Are you ready for President Warren or Harris?

      • BakedPenguin

        Yeah, it used to be funny. Now, there are so many clips, it’s just sad.

        IIRC, people with dementia have lucid moments. You’d think if they were going to do this to him, they could at least wait for one and tape him making coherent points.

      • BakedPenguin

        Oops. Should have read Leon’s comment morely than I did.

      • UnCivilServant

        I have this sinking feeling that these are his most lucid moments.

      • Fourscore

        Now I want to see him smoke a cigarette. Joe must be a social scientist.

      • Plisade

        Maybe that was the best take.

      • ChipsnSalsa

        I’m wondering how this the “best” take they had or could splice together to make him look good.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Was he being fed pablum while uttering gibberish?

        Lord me.

    • sloopyinca

      That whole situation is a shitshow of pols seeming to use the CV for electoral gain. The GOP-led legislature refused to even take up delaying Election Day in a special session. The Governor acted like a king in order to get more ballots counted from reliable Dem voters who had ample time to get a mail-in ballot before now.
      They’re all seeking to manipulate the vote. It’s shameful.

      • leon

        Maybe the legislature should have taken it up, but the Governor unilaterally making the decision hours before the election is criminal. He should removed from office.

      • sloopyinca

        He should be. His smart, and constitutional move, wood have been to go on a media offensive demanding the legislature do their job so as not to endanger more people. And when they failed to do so, call for every single one of them to be recalled by their constituents or for any election winners to immediately resign and call for new elections once the lockdown bullshit ends.
        He’d have gotten widespread support and the law of the land wouldn’t have been undermined. And I’d be willing to bet the GOP-led legislature would have made a decision to act so as to not get demolished in the media.

    • leon

      Roe V Wade was 5-4. I guess that means it was illegitimate too.

    • Pat

      Hey, remember a few months ago when the major concern was that Trump was going to cancel the elections?

      • Q Continuum

        We have always been at war… well you know the rest.

    • Q Continuum

      Mail-in voting is too complicated for the rabble. Maybe we should switch to text voting. Then again, that’s pretty tough too and some people don’t have phones. Let’s just send out activists with clipboards and ask people who they’re voting for.

      • Not Adahn

        I know of just the organization, it’s called Americans Counting Our Rights and Needs

      • leon

        Judging by the internet, we are replete with mind readers. we should just employ them to tell us who everyone would vote for.

      • UnCivilServant

        “The winner is… ‘Boaty McBoatface’? What? Who’s that?”

      • Not Adahn

        I’m… surprisingly OK with our elected officials being chosed by /pol/

      • Certified Public Asshat

        By the way, everyone fill out your census!

    • WTF

      Anything that interferes with the Dem’s ability to commit vote fraud undermines democracy.

  15. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I can’t bring myself to do the Tard Tuesday thing because it’s just more of the same “Trump is killing America and he’s loving it” crap.

    The projection and cognitive dissonance on both sides of the aisle are huge these days. Everybody on the left is simultaneously proclaiming Trump is an authoritarian while praising governors who stamp on their constituents faces and everybody on the right has conveniently forgotten any principles they might have ever purported to have.

    • Q Continuum

      “This crisis confirms what I believed all along about *pet issue*, no matter how unrelated to the crisis *pet issue* is!”

      • Galt1138

        Yep. David Burge tweeted something similar a week or so ago. It has even been thus.

    • Donny McDonface

      “they’re all shit” continues to work for me

      it requires no defense of favorites, it requires no identity politics, it makes no excuses or exceptions, it needs no refreshing from any medium, it sets off no cognitive dissonance, and it requires my forgetting nothing

      • Q Continuum

        Those who seek power are least fit to have it.

      • Not Adahn

        Maybe sometimes five black ships look like one white ship.

    • Pat

      Fire

  16. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Maximum Japan Achieved

    Spring graduation ceremonies in Japan have been cancelled because of the coronavirus pandemic, but students at one school were able to attend remotely by controlling avatar robots while logged on at home.

    The robots, dubbed “Newme” by developer ANA Holdings, were dressed in graduation caps and gowns for the ceremony at the Business Breakthrough University in Tokyo.

    The robots’ “faces” were tablets that displayed the faces of the graduates, who logged on at home and controlled the robots via their laptops.

    One by one, the robots motored toward the podium to receive their diplomas. School staff clapped and said “congratulations!” as University President Kenichi Ohmae placed the diplomas on a rack mounted on the robot’s midsection.

    • bacon-magic

      “and then the robots were fitted with sexual organs and began a massive blurry orgy that was uploaded to pornhub immediately.”

    • Count Potato

      Wow.

  17. westernsloper

    One thing I missed in Gov Polis’s speech yesterday afternoon is that he extended the cower at home until the 26th. Asshole.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Yes.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      And he’ll be dismissed out of hand by those who have the power to end this.

  18. UnCivilServant

    Drinking coffee this morning was a mistake. I feel like a chihuahua on meth from all the caffiene.

    • Nephilium

      Quick! A shot of vodka will help balance that out. Whiskey would be better (especially with some sugar and heavy whipping cream).

    • Not Adahn

      Isn’t it glorious? Being able to perceive alternate dimensions and smell time?

      • UnCivilServant

        I can’t afford the distraction at the moment.

      • Not Adahn

        Just remember the litany:

        It is by will alone I set my mind in motion
        It is by the juice of the bean that thoughts acquire speed
        The teeth acquire stains, the stains become a warning
        It is by will alone I set my mind in motion

    • UnCivilServant

      Heart rate’s back to normal, I’m calm again. Drinking plain water for the first time in a long time.

      Once again, I want to thank the Glib(s) who recommended ZeroWater, it took the metallic taste out, so there’s no need to flavor up the tap water to cover it.

  19. Scruffy Nerfherder

    The Exception To The Rule

    If Israel finds a vaccine for coronavirus, boycotters can still take it, Omar Barghouti, founder of the anti-Israel Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions (BDS) movement said on Sunday.
    Barghouti made the remarks in a live video on the BDS Arabic Facebook page as part of a webinar on “BDS and Anti-normalization: The most important strategies to fight against the deal of the century, even in the time of COVID-19.”

    • Nephilium

      So just like PETA, it’s OK for us to use that research, but anyone doing it should die.

      • sloopyinca

        You mean like PETA saying “it’s ok for us to coax pets off porches so we can kill them in our roving death-vans but not ok for that bitch to wear a fur coat”.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        More like Newkirk talking about how great Demerol is after she broke her arm, while previously proclaiming that any drug developed with animal testing is immoral to use, including a potential cure for AIDs.

      • Nephilium

        More like, it’s OK for a high ranking member of PETA to use insulin that came from animal research. But animal researchers should all get burned alive in lab fires.

    • Pat

      “We can’t very well drive the Jews into the sea until they’ve cured us from the Bat Stew Flu!”

    • kbolino

      You know, if you want your movement to not be seen as a front for Muslim hatred of Jews, maybe don’t act like an imam.

  20. Nephilium

    So, all of you south of me thought DeWine was bad. Allow me to introduce you to the piece of shit that is Frank Jackson:

    Cleveland Mayor Frank Jackson says city will ban summer events, large gatherings to slow coronavirus spread

    • Tres Cool

      I bet he’s a blast at parties.

      • Nephilium

        He’s been mayor since 2006. Finally some people were starting to question what the fuck he’s been doing. But now he’ll save us all from the COVID.

    • Private Chipperbot

      So he’s cancelling MLB in Cleveland?

      • Count Potato

        WTF? That makes no sense.

      • Drake

        Submit!

        And if you live on a golf course, no going out in the backyard.

    • Patio

      What a fucking twatwaffle…

    • Rhywun

      It’s hard to find those two better or worse than any of thousands of other contenders these days.

  21. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Anal Prints – The Term You Never Knew You Needed

    An experimental toilet out of Stanford University identifies users by their finger and anal prints while gathering data for urine and stool analysis, a new study reports.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Your chocolate starfish is unique and identifiable.

      • Tres Cool

        + stink-star

      • Q Continuum

        The song “Brown Eyed Girl” is about anal sex.

      • Count Potato

        Really?

      • AlexinCT

        Come on! You didn’t know practically every song is about popping someone in the rear?

    • Private Chipperbot

      I read that as anal pints and thought to myself, aren’t colleges closed for the term?

    • sloopyinca

      What a load of shit.

      • sloopyinca

        Or: Christ, what an asshole!

      • Tejicano

        Something you’d definitely have to get your finger out of your ass to accomplish.

      • AlexinCT

        Some people have their heads up their asses…

  22. bacon-magic

    Searches spotify for Pixies…this better not be a punk band.

    • Pat

      Nah. Progenitors of alt-rock. Cobain said multiple times his only ambition was to play Pixies covers, and he wrote Smells Like Teen Spirit as a deliberate Pixies pastiche.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      If the NYT regularly published op-eds from anyone to the right of David Brooks, I would be more understanding.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Or more appropriately, maybe they should give editorial space to Putin?

        The NYT has been screaming about Russian fake news for years now, but they see fit to publish pure propaganda from the ChiComs.

    • Drake

      Sure – I could have told you that 25 years ago. They were just a little more subtle then.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        They’ve been covering for the wrong side for over 80 years, something something Walter Duranty.

    • kbolino

      Is anyone left at the Times who’s old enough to really remember the Cold War?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      What do you expect from a guy named Ken Klippenstein?

      He’s c-c-c-coming to k-k-k-kill you!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Ken Klippenstein

      @kenklippenstein
      Replying to @MyDaughtersArmy
      How about you stop sucking your own dick

      I thought Trump was bad because he was too crude and lowered the national discourse?

    • Private Chipperbot

      Holly Combs was the hottest one by far.

      • Drake

        Apparently the sanest too.

      • Sean

        Agreed.

      • Galt1138

        Seconded.

      • The Last American Hero

        Each to his own, but um, no.

    • Pat

      ‘There is something to the idea that people are going to weaponize #metoo for political gain. Just look at the replies here and look to see who those accounts are supporting in the primary. There always needs to be a thorough vetting of accusations. I believe, along with many others in this space, that accusations need to be investigated with due process for the accused. This is the only way for the movement to work & create the change we are fighting for. Anything less puts the entire movement and women’s equality at risk.’

      IOW, MoveOn.

    • leon

      McGowan, despite being at the center of the Ronan Farrow New Yorker story that helped kick off the massive #MeToo movement, was quickly cast aside for the more media-friendly Milano. As it turns out, McGowan is the only one with her credibility left intact, as she insists the problem isn’t alleged wrongdoers like Brett Kavanaugh or Joe Biden, but the institutional system that covers for them

      WOAH, you’re saying its our fault? Lets find someone else to talk to / ABC et al.

      • kbolino

        What is there to “cover for” if the wrongdoing didn’t occur?

        This has morphed into a claim that nobody ever needs to fight their own battles, there should always be a support system waiting in the wings to carry them along. But in the most arguable of these cases, there is no one with direct knowledge other than the alleged perpetrator and the alleged victim. Someone else in “the institutional system” who has no more direct knowledge of the events, but believes the accuser instead of the accused by default, is no better than someone who favors the other party by default.

      • leon

        The Media Industry most definitely covered for Weinstein. Folk like Opera should have become pariahs after that. But they get to continue on.

    • bacon-magic

      I would dip my spoon in their cauldron. While they are fighting. I bet rule #34 is already active on this one.

    • Not Adahn

      I miss Woke Charmed. I hope MLW is ok.

      • Count Potato

        I haven’t seen any comments from her, and a bunch of others, in a long time.

    • Festus

      Rose was all that for about one hot minute in Hollywood years.

    • Count Potato

      They were both gorgeous then.

  23. Nephilium

    Sloopy, in MLB news, from USA Today:

    Report: MLB, union discuss playing all games in Arizona

    • Rebel Scum

      I though there was plenty of Corona in AZ.

    • Private Chipperbot

      Or we could just, you know, open things back up with a start date of June 1st. How are they going to get 3,000 games in if they only play a 100 game season? 33 games a day for 90 straight days? No way in hell it works unless they chop the season down to 50 games.

      • Festus

        Ehn. It’s all sorts of fucked. The Masters in November? How the hell are we going to get the announcers opining about the magnolias and “Tradition” while soft minor chord music plays in the background?

      • creech

        It’s azaleas. Don’t you know shit about golf? Fore!

      • Festus

        Whatever. We don’t have either up here Ted’s. I probably know at least as much as you about golf as you. Ever hit a hole in one?

      • creech

        Yes, I had one at Manufacturers GC on the quarry hole. Hooked the shit out of the ball, it hit the wall of the quarry and ricoheted on the green and into the hole! My Uncle Bob was a pro, so I do know a bit about golf.

      • Galt1138

        Yep. They may shorten the season.

        We’ve been talking at work about the possibility of the World Series happening as late as Thanksgiving. It’s really screwed up our business.

        Perhaps a good sign: lots of IMHE estimates of the hospitalization numbers for most states were off by 20% (overestimated), even factoring in social distancing (this even includes New York). There’s some evidence to show the US infections peaked earlier because the virus may have arrived in the US 6-8 weeks earlier than thought. Fingers crossed.

        If this proves to be true, hopefully people in private sectors like major sports leagues consider new/correct data with a sane perspective.

  24. Rebel Scum

    Number 1 in fake news.


    Steve Guest✔
    @SteveGuest

    CNN’s Anderson Cooper claims no timeline for PPE has been provided after CNN refused to air press conferences during which military officers provided a timeline for PPE

    • Q Continuum

      All the news that’s fit to distort.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Mission accomplished because their viewers won’t check.

    • leon

      I think its at the point that anyone who is watching CNN is willingly ignorant. They Know they are being lied to and don’t care.

      • kbolino

        Their lies vs. our lies.

      • Festus

        I’m just getting sick to fucking shit of this nonsense. Die, don’t die. Don’t fucking care, anymore.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Enemies of the people.

      • Festus

        They want it to fail. As I noted above, I’ve never seen anything like this in my 55 years.

      • Festus

        I featured that as a SF story.

  25. Rebel Scum

    Toronto Police✔
    @TorontoPolice

    Toronto Police Service members & City of Toronto by-law officers continue to see non-compliance with government & public health orders. Tickets of $1,000 will be given to those who continue to make wrong decisions. Let’s get this right together for all us. #COVID19 #StayHome ^sm

    • LJW

      Well we boarded up all our tax revenue how can we make money off of the people?

      • Nephilium

        Just wait until all the property tax liens get placed. Every city can be like Detroit!

    • Drake

      Tickets for wrong decisions – but they totally aren’t the Stasi.

      • kbolino

        The Stasi wouldn’t want the money (they’d have no use for it anyway), they’d want you gone.

      • Drake

        They wanted obedience and submission to the state – so they made examples.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      If it’s effective it’s being used enough where that’ll be unequivocally established and, yes, the doctors that withheld treatment for political reasons along with the talking heads who denigrated the treatment need to face a reckoning. If I or anyone I care about came down with this and the doctor refused to write a script I’d doctor shop until I found one that would.

      • UnCivilServant

        “This is your MFA-assigned practitioner, Citizen. Looking for alternatives is sedition, and will be harshly punished.”

      • Pat

        If I or anyone I care about came down with this and the doctor refused to write a script I’d doctor shop until I found one that would.

        Just be glad you don’t live in NV, our governor made it illegal for physicians to prescribe it.

      • kbolino

        Doesn’t the legislature have to enact new laws?

      • Not Adahn

        Maybe, but this was an Executive Order! It’s like a law, but better.

      • leon

        Yup. some Executive Orders can’t be repealed, so its even more iron clad than law.

      • Drake

        Same hear – if somebody in my family was truly sick, they are getting it or one of the related drugs.

      • commodious spittoon

        Won’t we all be better off when these decisions are made by bureaucracy rather than practitioners. Chloroquine for some! Abortions for everyone!

      • R C Dean

        Chloroquine for some! Abortions Tiny dead fetuses for everyone!

    • kbolino

      How is a professor a “nontraditional collector” of intelligence? That is exactly how the Soviets got most of their intelligence.

      • bacon-magic

        You would think journalists would know history or at least watched some spy movies.

    • creech

      How is this national news? Shouldn’t the media be covering the one person in San Francisco who was called a Chink Flumonger by some moron?

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Someone did that?

        Lol.

    • BakedPenguin

      When’s Lieber’s NYT op/ed coming out?

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Maybe it is time we just drop the pretense and admit that we never had rights in the first place.

      • Drake

        If they can be taken away by a Governor’s executive order, you didn’t. You had their permission to do things, which they have revoked.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    I’m with Rufus.

    I’m not depressed. I’m disgusted. I’m pissed.

    I went out to do some stupid mundane errands yesterday, and every fucking door I puled on was locked. The bank, the electric company, the internet service, the fucking sporting goods store.

    This country is fucked. The economy is being destroyed. Bankruptcy courts will be backlogged for who-knows-how-long. It will likely take years to undo this, if it even can be.

    And people just grab their ankles and take it, instead of burning government buildings down.

    • Aus

      Police HQ locked too. And of course coppers don’t answer their phones either. Brilliant; I love paying taxes.

    • Idle Hands

      I can’t believe it either. It’s so infuriating how many people are just cowed into this bullshit.

    • Galt1138

      But don’t you know you’re supposed to shelter in place or PEOPLE WILL DIE, citizen!?

      I, too, an pissed. My blood’s at the boiling point.

  27. The Late P Brooks

    All the morons who have been bleating about unfairness and inequality are really going to see what unfairness looks like when the only people left with ready money start buying up the victims of the lockdown for pennies on the dollar.

    • UnCivilServant

      I was tempted, but then I realized these people are useless, and owning one wouldn’t be all that worthwhile.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Bill Gates for example.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Gates has been an obnoxious asshole all through this. His money and power have obviously gone to his head.

      • Pat

        He got right out in front of it to shill for his ID2020 program as a means of tracking vaccination histories… when we’re still a year or more out from a vaccine. Thankfully he had the needed expertise to make that recommendation though, after his charitable foundation sponsored the Event 201 Pandemic Exercise to test our preparedness for a novel coronavirus outbreak… in October 2019.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        So what you’re saying is Gates conveniently knew one was coming?

      • Pat

        Without necessarily going into full tin hat nutter territory, it’s an awfully interesting coincidence, especially how neatly it aligns with the goals of the ID2020 initiative.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        That’s some bizarre timing, isn’t it?

    • Idle Hands

      It’s going to be the biggest looting and inequality shift in this nations history.

  28. Q Continuum

    “Today we have learned from breakthrough research that dead people cannot catch COVID-19. This is truly a gamechanger. To that end, I’m signing an executive order mandating the systematic extermination of the population. I’m calling this initiative the Final COVID-19 Solution. There will of course be limited exceptions made for individuals deemed essential.

    Through shared sacrifice we can beat this terrible pandemic. Remember, we’re all in this together. If it saves just one life, it will be worth it.”

    /probably your governor

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Ghoulishly poignant.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    Do my sacred duty, in the face of adversity? That’s crazy!

    Liberals excoriated the Supreme Court’s conservative majority on Monday over its decision blocking a court order that extended the period to return absentee ballots in Wisconsin’s primary election, warning that the high court’s ruling is an ominous sign of massive disenfranchisement of voters in November.

    Many critics said the justices had acquiesced in forcing voters to literally put their lives on the line to cast their ballots.

    “It is unconscionable,” said Sherrilyn Ifill, president of the NAACP Legal Defense and Education Fund. “It is among the most cynical decisions I have read from this Court – devoid of even the pretense of engaging with the reality that this decision will mean one of two things for many WI voters: either they will risk their health & lives to vote, or they will be disenfranchised.”

    People fought and died for your right to vote from your couch while watching America’s Dumbest Politicians.

    • leon

      either they will risk their health & lives to vote, or they will be disenfranchised.

      Remember that for the Left the vote is the most sacred of rights. So while you can be forbidden from congregating for protest or religious services because of the pandemic, you shouldn’t be allowed to miss out on voting. Despite it being the most useless of your rights, it is the one that they will argue that “everyone” should have and anyone asking about election security just hates minorities.

      The supreme court made a right decision. Rules should not be changed arbitrarily, and if the must be it should be done through proper channels, not by a district court judge.

    • Rebel Scum

      devoid of even the pretense of engaging with the reality

      They are supposed to engage with the Constitution. It doesn’t disappear because of a virus.

  30. The Late P Brooks

    Through shared sacrifice we can beat this terrible pandemic. Remember, we’re all in this together. If it saves just one my life, it will be worth it.

    We will fight to the last drop of your blood.

    • Fourscore

      We used to sort of believe that most (some) LEOs wouldn’t enforce 2A takeaways. We’ve come a long way, baby.

      “Well, this is different”

  31. Private Chipperbot

    Are COVID-19 Deaths Being Overreported?

    Guidelines recently released by the Centers for Disease Control bolster concerns that the death toll is being rigged to show a higher fatality rate.

    “In cases where a definite diagnosis of COVID–19 cannot be made, but it is suspected or likely (e.g., the circumstances are compelling within a reasonable degree of certainty), it is acceptable to report COVID–19 on a death certificate as ‘probable’ or ‘presumed’,” the agency advises. “In these instances, certifiers should use their best clinical judgment in determining if a COVID–19 infection was likely.”

    That clinical judgment, alarmingly, does not require administering a test to confirm the presence of the virus.

    “Ideally, testing for COVID–19 should be conducted, but it is acceptable to report COVID–19 on a death certificate without this confirmation if the circumstances are compelling within a reasonable degree of certainty,” the guidelines state.

    The CDC provided three examples to help officials determine how to properly document the cause of death. One scenario described an 86-year-old female nonambulatory stroke victim who developed a fever and cough days after being exposed to a sick family member later diagnosed with COVID-19. Even though the decedent wasn’t tested, the coroner nonetheless determined that the woman’s underlying cause of death was COVID–19, “given the patient’s symptoms and exposure to an infected individual.”

    • Pat

      When my dad died of complications from sepsis, his death certificate listed 6 different causes of death, not one of them sepsis, despite his attending physician listing sepsis as the first cause of death in his chart. I’m actually surprised they didn’t use his hydrocodone prescription to list it as an opioid death to qualify for more grant money.

    • Rebel Scum

      There is a difference in dying with commie-cough and dying of commie-cough.

      • R C Dean

        Not even that. They are listing people as Commie Cough victims who haven’t even tested positive.

        The good news: its allergy season! The number of people they will be able to say had respiratory symptoms will sky-rocket, and so will the number they can say died of the Commie Cough to juice their narrative (and their take of Commie Cough “financial support”).

        Nobody, but nobody, will publish an excess deaths number, the only one that matters. The word is undoubtedly going out not to even try to calculate it.

  32. Rebel Scum

    The recently bad economy is Bad Orange Man’s fault.

    In response to criticism from Democrats, Trump’s campaign has highlighted the relief measures he has signed into law, while accusing Biden of “sniping from the sidelines.” The president has suggested the economy will be moving again before the general election, and direct payments to millions of Americans — even if late arriving — could benefit him in November.

    But the economic damage from the pandemic has already proved severe, and it is widely expected to worsen this month. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi called Friday for an expansion of the $2 trillion relief package Trump signed, including more money for small businesses and more direct payments to Americans.

    Barry Goodman, a Democratic National Committee member and bundler for Biden, said Democrats should clobber Trump for his hesitance to embrace public health measures detrimental to the stock market, saying that “his infatuation with the stock market and keeping the economy running and humming … he believed that over the science.”

    “He ended up tanking the economy worse than it ever could have been tanked,” Goodman said.

    • Pat

      Gee, you’d almost think that was the entire reason behind the media-driven panic in the first place.

    • commodious spittoon

      That’ll sell well to people with 401ks. Who cares if your retirement tanked, you got a free month off work!

      And be free we mean you probably weren’t paid.

      • Private Chipperbot

        I’m seeing FB posts by nurses asking if they can get a month off of work like everyone else when this is done. That along with hysterical ICU docs and nurses make me never want to get seriously injured if they’re that stupid.

    • Private Chipperbot

      I’d be in favor of another stimulus that required all stay at home orders and closures to be lifted or that state and it’s residents would not be eligible. If it’s going to be passed anyway, may as well do something good with it.

  33. kinnath

    Never heard of the Pixies before yesterday. Unimpressed.

    • Fourscore

      I still haven’t heard the Pixies (the musical group). I’ll take Kinnath’s response and save myself the trouble.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Kurt Cobain liked them, esp. for their quiet-LOUD-quiet thing.

      • Tundra

        Which they admit they stole from Husker Du!

        I always liked the Pixies, but they can be a challenging, discordant mess at times.

        Isn’t it beautiful that there are so many choices?

      • Pat

        Which they admit they stole from Husker Du!

        Frank Black famously found Kim Deal by placing an ad that read “Band seeks bassist into Hüsker Dü and Peter, Paul and Mary.”

      • Chipwooder

        Like many other bands, the Pixies’ output often varied wildly in quality. Some great songs, some forgettable dreck.

      • Pat

        There’s not a single track in their pre-reunion discography I skip when listening, but I’m a fanboy.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Just don’t make me listen to Sonic Youth.

      • Rhywun

        Just don’t make me listen to Sonic Youth.

        *falls off chair*

  34. The Late P Brooks

    You would think journalists would know history or at least watched some spy movies.

    You slay me.

  35. Festus

    Gotta log out, now. You guys are the Guam of sanity in a typhoon of idiocy. Don’t tip the waitress.

    • Tres Cool

      Don’t tell Hank Johnson.

  36. Tundra

    Good morning, Sloopy!

    Nice to see golf rescheduling. I’ve been getting emails from First Ave with rescheduled concerts – most in the September time frame though.

    I’m getting increasingly annoyed at the fuckhead aspiring tyrants running our states and cities. A curfew? Fuck. You. I still think presenting a pocket Constitution when asked for papers would be funny. Well, until the truncheons, anyway.

    I love that song.

    This one rolled up next. I no longer wear ties, but if I ever do again, they will be skinny.

    Have a wonderful day, people.

    • BakedPenguin

      Fun bass line to play.

  37. The Late P Brooks

    The CDC provided three examples to help officials determine how to properly document the cause of death. One scenario described an 86-year-old female nonambulatory stroke victim who developed a fever and cough days after being exposed to a sick family member later diagnosed with COVID-19. Even though the decedent wasn’t tested, the coroner nonetheless determined that the woman’s underlying cause of death was COVID–19, “given the patient’s symptoms and exposure to an infected individual.”

    *sad, cynical laugh*

  38. Professional Beach Bum

    Sooo, cower in place in Austin, got dirty looks for not wearing a mask. Looking to get a Deadpool mask…. wife approved the full infantry stuff I’ve been gathering for the past year, so got some new guns out of it. Thought about getting full MOPP gear for outings to frak out the pants shitters.

    • Professional Beach Bum

      *freak, not Frank, this is not BSG

      • Professional Beach Bum

        And frak, not Frank

    • invisible finger

      I want a mask with a pennyfarthing and a number on it.

      • Shirley Knott

        Nice.

      • Professional Beach Bum

        I just ordered a paintball skull mask

  39. The Late P Brooks

    This website must have the plague. It’s all pale and weak-looking.

    • ruodberht

      Cancel my subscription!

    • Tres Cool

      Try getting a refund.

    • Galt1138

      Just refreshed and it looks okay now. Too bad there’s not a refresh button for humans (although I find weight lifting has a similar result).

  40. LJW

    Saw the headline CV death toll climbs to 9 over 200 confirmed infected in county. Nine people in a month in a half in a county with the population of almost 600,000. Well shit how long until we see the Flagellants walking the streets. Repent the end is near! How many people died of the Flu or other diseases in that time frame?

    • leon

      My entire state has had 13, in a state of 3.3 Million.

    • Homple

      From the CDC, estimates for the 2018-2019 flu season. Other years are available.

      “CDC estimates that influenza was associated with more than 35.5 million illnesses, more than 16.5 million medical visits, 490,600 hospitalizations, and 34,200 deaths during the 2018–2019 influenza season. This burden was similar to estimated burden during the 2012–2013 influenza season1.”

      Notice that, despite those numbers, the CDC only bothered to estimate the figures. They did not lovingly catalog every case and death. If single celebrity died of the flu and it was reported as such in the news, I never saw it.

      https://www.cdc.gov/flu/about/burden/2017-2018.htm

    • Galt1138

      I made the mistake of pointing out context matters in a Twitter thread last night, and mentioned it’ll be worth studying what’s happening in Japan, Sweden, Taiwan, and New Zealand when this is all said and done. I got a hysterical reply about how Japan just announced a state of emergency. Sigh.

  41. tarran

    My wife’s boss made a horrendous mistake yesterday. He proposed to recreate their regular office get togethers via video-conference. He thought it would reduce the feelings of isolation for people who are extroverts who crave human interaction. Of course, these people are mid-level executives who are in their late 40’s – early 50’s. About 40% are women.

    The women, who haven’t been to a hairdresser in a month, who are all showing gray roots, let the poor guy have it. If he had been within their physical reach, he might have ended up hanging upside down from a gasoline station’s signage.

    After a frank, bordering on direct, exchange of views, he decided to make the video-conferences video optional. But you are allowed to bring your own booze. That ended the rebellion right quick. Once again, wine and beer solve many of life’s problems.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    In the long run, this will all be worth it, if it brings about the end of globalisation

    China’s wealth and health therefore matter to us all far more than they used to, but this is not just a matter of scale – there is also a deeper problem with globalisation.

    Ian Goldin, professor of globalisation and development at Oxford University, and author of “The Butterfly Defect, How Globalization Creates Systemic Risks, And What To Do About It”, says that “risks have been allowed to fester, they are the underbelly of globalisation”.

    That, he says, can be seen not only in this crisis, but also in the credit crunch and banking crisis of 2008, and the vulnerability of the internet to cyber-attacks. The new global economic system brings huge benefits, but also huge risks.

    While it has helped raise incomes, rapidly develop economies and lift millions out of poverty; that has come at the increased risk of contagion, be it financial or medical.

    So what does this latest crisis mean for globalisation?

    For Prof Richard Portes, professor of economics at London Business School, it seems obvious that things will have to change, because firms and people have now realised what risks they had been taking.

    “Look at trade,” he explains. “Once supply chains were disrupted [by coronavirus], people started looking for alternative suppliers at home, even if they were more expensive.

    “If people find domestic suppliers, they will stick with them… because of those perceived risks.”

    We’ll show them foreigners.

    • leon

      Just like anything, not diversifying your options opens you up to risk.

    • commodious spittoon

      And the one thing we know about people switching suppliers is they’ll never switch suppliers again.

    • Pat

      I’m over the whole libertarian ideal of global free trade. In practice it was never anything but carefully managed centralized cronyism once you scratched the surface. Fuck China. Fuck the USA too.

      • UnCivilServant

        To achieve the ideal of free trade you need every actor involved more committed to the ideal than their own personal benefit. Any rational actor in a position to change the rules will take their own benefit over the communal good and you get crypto-mercantilism creeping in with each tweak to the agreements.

      • leon

        I might be missing something. If you’re talking about the government actors creating trade deals, then i might see. But Then trade deals between governments aren’t Free Trade. I know that sounds like no true scottsman, but Free Trade is trade without restrictions. If you are having politicians haggle over restrictions, then you are by definition not doing free trade.

      • UnCivilServant

        To achieve the ideal you need government actors who put the ideal ahead of their own benefit. They are part of the “every actor” in that first line. Otherwise they’re in a position to change the rules for their own benefit. Even if that benfit is propping up local industry for votes because the jobs are moving overseas.

      • leon

        K. I wasn’t sure if you meant “Every Actor” to mean, states as the abstract, or as government actors.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m talking about people. The “New Libertarian Man” is no more likely to exist than the “New Soviet Man”.

      • leon

        Free Trade works every day in the open market without any “New Libertarian Man” the problem is the government imposing itself between consenting actors in the trade.

        So your point is that “Free Trade Doesn’t work, because the government is incentivized to inhibit free trade, for the benefit of government actors”. That doesn’t disprove that it harms the country as a whole to not have free trade. The government actors are just ok with that.

      • UnCivilServant

        You’re putting arguments in my words that I’m not making.

        Free trade doesn’t work because it will not stick around.

        It is an ideal that cannot be maintained because the incentives are against it.

      • Shirley Knott

        Yup. Unilateral free trade is the only way. It’s been tried, it’s worked.

      • Pat

        Like that time Nixon opened up China for example…

      • Shirley Knott

        More like that time Great Britain ended the Corn Laws.

      • Galt1138

        A-fucking-men. And, it’s not even close. Voluntary exchange in free markets is a tremendous success story, doing more to promote human flourishing (and even non-human, think of how many animals are saved due to private actors) than anything else in history.

        People need a constant reminder of this, lest they fall back on the dead end of having a king or govt provide for them.

    • BakedPenguin

      If she’s not thicc enough for you, you’re going to have to be/get a genetic engineer and start playing God.

  43. Count Potato

    “CDC rolls out blood antibody test for people with NO coronavirus symptoms in the hope it will reveal who can return to their jobs to shore up the workforce

    The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has rolled a test that would determine whether or not someone has been infected with coronavirus.

    This type of test, which is known as a serology test, looks for antibodies against the new virus in the blood.

    Health officials say the test could help scientists understand how widespread the virus is; how many people come into contact with the virus and don’t get sick; and how long patients remain immune after they recover.

    This is important because it could allow immune people to leave their homes and return to work and shore up the workforce as well as help healthcare workers determine if they are immune.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-8193637/CDC-rolls-blood-antibody-test-people-NO-coronavirus-symptoms.html

    • UnCivilServant

      Let me guess, it takes a pint of blood and three weeks to test?

      /low opinion of the CDC.

      • Nephilium

        A gill of blood.

      • UnCivilServant

        That’s far more efficient than I can give them credit for.

    • Private Chipperbot

      It will be ready in your town in 3 months. Stay home, stay safe…

  44. sloopyinca

    I’ve been thinking about why so many people are accepting or even embracing the “quarantines” and I finally have a working theory:
    An overwhelming majority of the people are physically lazy, they hate their job, they have limited social activities they take part in, and they simply want someone else to run things while they take what they consider to be a well-deserved extended vacation.
    Think about it: they are saying this needs to be done to protect people yet they still go out to the grocery, a place where they’ll either come in close contact with or will be touching the same surfaces as countless other people they know nothing about, without a care in the world. Yet they will demand people stay off beaches or golf courses even though people going to those places can easily do so in relative social isolation/with relative social distancing. They want to ban religious gatherings/parties/etc, and close non-essential stores that get much less traffic/closeness of people than “essential” ones. And they want the government to pay them directly for sitting at home and forgive them their rent/mortgage payments as well as others rather than offer businesses loans to keep afloat and pay them to be able to modify their workforce to continue doing their job at home.
    And the reason why their solution is to shut shit down for as long as possible is that they don’t want to get back to work. They don’t want to get back to normalcy. They want the free ride to last as long as possible, consequences be damned, because they’re of the misbelief that they deserve a break from life. And this is the excuse they are willing to use to get it.

    Maybe I feel this way because I predominately work with business owners who are clamoring to get back to work or are seeking ways to keep their productivity rolling, while they tell me about many of their employees looking for every way they can to stay home, even if they’re not likely to be in contact with others while on the job. Maybe I feel this way because I go to the store myself and see it crowded with people who seem genuinely happy to be there at noon on a Tuesday. Maybe I feel this way because they (regular people) are really not even proposing or wishing for a loosening of restrictions.

    But maybe I’m wrong.

    • UnCivilServant

      You’re not wrong. There is a significant portion of the population whose greatest ambition is to find the least amount of effort to put into life.

      • Tres Cool

        When I worked for a steel mill, there was an open secret that certain employees would intentionally get hurt at work just for the time off.

      • Gender Traitor

        They want that easy money.
        It’s sad, but it’s true.
        Everybody wants the most they can possibly get
        For the least they can possibly do.

        – Todd Snider

      • Tres Cool

        Now that ain’t workin’m that’s the way you do it,
        Money for nothin’ and your chicks for free

        -Mark Knopfler

      • AlexinCT

        Bang them bongos like a chimpanzee!

      • egould310

        But in a full-employment environment, if you choose not to work you look like a douchebag. So it’s better to tank the entire economy, and not work. No shame in not working if *everyone* is not working.

        But with bars and restaurants and concert venues closed, this is the shittiest vacation ever.

      • Galt1138

        Alas, you’re not wrong. It takes effort to get people to understand the joy and feeling of personal accomplishment to use their own agency to do productive work, provide for themselves and their family, achieve goals, etc.

        Most will do this without thinking about it, until something like the BS reactions to this virus comes along, and a lot of people take advantage of doing nothing and not having to fear where their next meal is coming.

        This kind of laziness can only happen in a rich society. Of course, a society won’t stay rich and prosperous for long if this shit keeps up.

    • sloopyinca

      That was a sermon, not a thought by the way. So I didn’t label it #1.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      I’ve been thinking, how quickly would this end if we stopped paying or started cutting the pay of teachers?

      • AlexinCT

        Government employees. Classify them as non essential, and send them home, without pay, and this shitshow ends tomorrow.

      • Galt1138

        “Government employees. Classify them as non essential, and send them home, without pay, and this shitshow ends tomorrow.”

        Indeed. I have dreams of such things.

    • Tundra

      Maybe I feel this way because they (regular people) are really not even proposing or wishing for a loosening of restrictions.

      They certainly are the loudest faction.

      I’m with you. My world is filled with small business people who are trying everything they can think of to keep rolling. And here we are again.

      Just like in 2008, we are fighting to stay afloat while the same old fuckheads are arranging bailouts. In good times and bad times, we are the tax cattle.

      I am tired of this.

      • AlexinCT

        Funny how those entities that accept government’s role of picking winners & losers and thus cozy up and pay for favors so they can implement some of the worst policies you can think of in return for lucre, end up being bailed out by their government buddies, while the people that just want to do their thing and avoid the shitshow get told that they are on their own, huh?

        It’s like there is some real perverse incentive to make everyone beholden to government so they can avoid getting destroyed when the shit hits the fan. And yes, taxpayers seem to always foot the bill for these entities when things go bad, while never getting much of the profits. Not to sound like proggie douche, but how do we force government to stop these unholy alliances and payoffs?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      There are definitely people who want something for nothing and are using this as an excuse to try to get just that but those people are few and far between in my experience. Lots of people like to slack off at work and whatnot but just sitting at home and mashing ass while collecting a check crosses a line.

      • sloopyinca

        Maybe I’m spending too much time on twitter watching people applaud every single decision governments are making that close shit out for longer and longer periods. People applauding extensions to shutdowns that are already scheduled to end 4-6 weeks from now being pushed out to June and July. There’s no logical reason for governments to be extending closures more than a few weeks from now since the peaks are being moved forward and the projected infection numbers are being revised waaaaay down. They’re applauding shit that no logical person would applaud. And in great numbers. That tells me they want these closures for selfish, not scientific, reasons.

      • Galt1138

        re: Twitter, yes, I think that’s part of it. There’s a huge portion of the population that isn’t on Twitter, and it’s not just old folks (my teenage stepson and his friends are never on it – they’re on Instagram, sharing memes about how much BS these restrictive rules are).

        FWIW, when I do venture out for groceries, take walks in the neighborhood with my wife, do Zoom meetings. many people are saying this is ridiculous.

        I really think a lot of people live their lives similar to our ideology, but don’t make the connection when they think of politics and public policy.

    • egould310

      I too suspect many people are treating this as a vacation; an excuse to hang with family and draw a government check. Then back to work in the summer. Except their job won’t be there in the summer. Enjoy the time off.

      Me, I’m going for a long run this morning. I’ll check my email and see if anybody returned my requested documents (they haven’t because they’re treating this as vacation). Sit on the sofa and play guitar. Go get tacos for lunch. Play guitar some more. Vodka. Dinner. Netflix.

      Repeat for the next 60 days?

    • leon

      I think why you don’t see more riotous demand for an easing of the restrictions, is that there is no one brave enough to start a movement. The Government has done a good job at framing the situation as anyone who dares operate is placing profits above people (direct quote from AG of NY). Business class used to be a powerful arm against government intrusion. Why that isn’t the case anymore is a varied question. Maybe Its because the business class is full of cowards who will cow to every government decree, maybe its because of decades of indoctrination that have made private interests the default evil in any clash between government and businesses. Perhaps its because of a declining model of leadership in society that has led people to not even know how to organize. Perhaps it is resignation to the size of government and and acknowlege that it is futile to fight against it.

      I don’t know, but i’ve thought about this a lot because i’m one of those “Physcially Lazy” people who likes to not deal with other people. Being an extrovert isn’t morally superior. And i’m not going to go out and start changing the way i like to live just because the government tells me i must or must not do so. Changing your behavior to do the opposite of what you are told is still changing your behavior because someone told you to.

      • Tundra

        …there is no one brave enough to start a movement.

        Boom. There you go.

        I was just pondering where to even start to push back. Not shutting down the businesses seems like a good start.

      • Fourscore

        A reason not to start the movement is the free money coming in. Had that not happened and people began to suffer they’d be out in the streets with pitchforks. We’re being bought off.

        I thought about that, if all the military/civil services/SS retirees/welfare had their (our) checks terminated there would be rioting.

        I thought Trump was stupid and now with a fourth bailout on the way (must have missed someone) I’m beginning to see things a little differently.

      • Shirley Knott

        “Give me liberty or give me $1200”

      • AlexinCT

        I am not getting the liberty thing, and I have been told that I won’t get a penny and will be on the hook for that money they gave other people…

        How do I get off this shitty ride?

      • Pat

        Business class used to be a powerful arm against government intrusion. Why that isn’t the case anymore is a varied question.

        It’s mostly because the relationship between business and state has never been more symbiotic. As the state grows, it leaves in its wake only the largest and most politically connected businesses, who capture the regulatory apparatus and settle in like the intestinal parasites that they are.

      • leon

        I was going to say this as well, but left it out cause it broke up my flow. A big part of the reason is that Big Buissnes and Big Government are the same thing right now. Walmart is going to be fine, Amazon is growing right now. It’s the small businesses that are being screwed. They are being told they can’t work and that they can get fucked if they go out of business.

      • Tundra

        It’s been this way for at least 100 years.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Businesses (large ones in particular) operate as a de facto extension of government.

        The collect taxes, they implement regulations, they limit consumer choice…

        If it weren’t for business acting as a buffer between government and the consumer, there would quickly be a revolt as people realized how many restrictions and taxes are placed on them every day. Businesses absorb that overhead into their structures so consumers don’t feel it. For one example only, consider the rate of compliance between sales and use taxes.

      • RAHeinlein

        Yes, and big corporations (not bashing them BTW) are able to distribute Big Gov regulations, social engineering, tax collection, etc. throughout their supply chain (including “small” businesses).

        The IRS and Big Gov have always loathed small businesses, and the open tax cheating we now see from many (particularly direct-to-consumer and cash) hasn’t helped.

        Unfortunately, many legitimate “small” businesses are now competing with the cheats for Paycheck Protection Loans.

      • AlexinCT

        It’s mostly because the relationship between business and state has never been more symbiotic.

        Under a fascist system, which tolerates the illusion of private ownership unlike the marxists, government picks the winners & losers. That power comes with the ability to fuck the productive tax payer over to keep shitty entities afloat and the ability to destroy any entity not playing the game the leadership class wants.

      • sloopyinca

        Maybe Its because the business class is full of cowards who will cow to every government decree, maybe its because of decades of indoctrination that have made private interests the default evil in any clash between government and businesses. Perhaps its because of a declining model of leadership in society that has led people to not even know how to organize. Perhaps it is resignation to the size of government and and acknowlege that it is futile to fight against it.

        Or perhaps they realize the social media lynch mob full of lazy fucks will make sure they are never able to reopen and will be treated as social pariahs for the rest of their life if they dare question the word of our benevolent leaders…who will continue to curtail our freedoms to consolidate their power.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Don’t underestimate how the number of asshats that fully buy into the bullshit are ensconced in the corporate machines. It will probably take an economic disaster to shake them out.

      • sloopyinca

        I’m not asking you to change your behavior. And I’m willing to bet that you wouldn’t either. I hope you don’t think that was the point I was trying to make, because it wasn’t. I’m willing to bet you have found a career and lifestyle that suits your level of social interaction and are happy with it. The loudest voices are people who didn’t do that but are happy to have the government enforce their lifestyle on everybody so they can finally have that life of leisure they think they’re entitled to without having ever done the yeoman’s work required to have done so before the government stepped in to do it on their behalf.

      • leon

        For sure. I’m the first one to say i’m upset that the government is doing all its doing (see my article on the same), my main point was that i’m not the right person to organize the fight against this overreach. I guess my point was that, while i’m upset about the overreach, i don’t see a point putting myself out on the line to organize a resistance when i have almost zero benefit to doing so and the people who would benefit don’t seem to have a desire to organize against it. I might be wrong on that, and i’ll have to think about it.

      • Mojeaux

        ^^^What leon said. I’ve got too much on the line right now to fight a losing fight. I can’t even bring myself to snark on the whole thing in public.

      • sloopyinca

        I’d be happy to do it, but since I’m pretty much deemed “essential”, nobody is stopping me from doing my job. Plus I’m too busy to stop and do so right now anyway.

      • leon

        In short, i would join a movement that fought against this, but it needs an organized effort.

      • Idle Hands

        This is a nation of cowards. I’m a business owner and I’ve been screaming about the lunacy of this to everyone that will listen. We are a so soft. I don’t advocate for violence but when the commies get around to it I’m not going to say anything when they put this media, political class, and elites against the wall.

      • Fourscore

        I’ll say it again, we’ve been bought off. The bailouts will come back to bite us in the ass but for now and the election we can be the grasshopper and sing and dance, to the Pixies even.

    • Shirley Knott

      This is helped along by the pernicious view, fostered by linguistic usage, that The Economy is exogenous.
      Contra Obama, the economy is what we choose to do together. Government is what is done to us, without the right to say “no!”

    • Idle Hands

      I think there’s something to this you also have a level of economic ignorance and how their jobs relate to a companies bottom line that even surprises my cynical mind. also I truly think a ton of people really really live dull and boring lives and desperately want to feel like they are part of some kind of historic movement or cause without actually doing anything. See the Donald Trump is hitler people, the metoo people, and now the virus is going to end us all hysteria. The irony of This hysteria is there is a non zero chance it ends in a cataclymic global depression that will ultimately make our lives 1000x harder thusly solving the bored problem.

      • Mojeaux

        how their jobs relate to a companies bottom line

        I think cashiers get it.

        Office drones who go to endless meaningless meanings either understand that they add zero to a company’s bottom line but they have a paycheck so they’re not going to say, “Hey, what’s my contribution here?” OR they never really thought about it.

    • leon

      I’ve thought about it some more, and i want to first say sorry for taking your comment out of context with what you were saying. Seconds i’ve been thinking about how to organize a resistence to this and what would be effective.

      I think the bailout thing is an important one, and one to remove every governor who issued stay at home orders from office. I think we could even argue “Look right or wrong, even the dictators in rome were asked to leave after they had used their supreme powers” You could think it was the right thing to do, it should still end your job.

      My governor hasn’t done anything mandatory and is retiring now anyway so i’m not sure what to do. I could go after the LT Gov who is running for the Big Seat…

      • Donny McDonface

        every governor

        Not MY governor! I ain’t never not gonna vote against dem Democrats: they’s 82,07t,032,740,975,732,408 times worse than good old Earl NukeAGayWhaleFerChrist McBreitbart !!!!!!!!!24321!!!!!!!!!!!! That’s exactly what MSNBC WANTS you to do !!!

        * collapses on fainting couch *

      • leon

        This is why we need to focus on state level 3rd parties.

    • Agent Cooper

      Then why am I so busy all the time?

  45. Chipwooder

    This cartoon would actually be an excellent point for the media to raise with Chinese mouthpieces, if they had any integrity that is.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      If you don’t test do the cases really exist? I’d argue yes but I suppose the big brains at NBC and the CCP disagree. Frankly, anyone who swallows these numbers is a fucking idiot.

    • WTF

      Virginia Roberts, 36, tweets from her hospital bed that she has no thoughts or feelings about committing suicide.

    • Nephilium

      Yeah. The fact other fuckheads are praising the people locking things down isn’t going to make it better. I’m just waiting for DeWine to be mentioned as a possible presidential candidate after Trump.

      • Tres Cool

        I can totally see that. And his horse-faced cunte daughter has her sights set on Columbus in a couple years too, Id wager.

      • Nephilium

        If nothing else, it’ll chap Kasich’s ass. I see that as the one positive.

      • PieInTheSky

        I always get annoyed I see the work wine in there

      • BakedPenguin

        It’s De-Wine, Pie. He wants to take your wine away, and should therefore be kept from power.

  46. Stinky Wizzleteats

    You still around Count Potato, what do you think of your Pinebook as far as build quality and screen quality goes? Do you get something half decent for 200 bucks or is it a flimsy disaster waiting to happen? I’m considering but the pricepoint puts me off a bit.

    • Count Potato

      I have the $200 PInebook Pro. Pat has the $100 original Pinebook. You definitely get something half-decent for 200 bucks, but doesn’t have the build quality of something ten times the price. The screen quality is fine. You can watch movies/youtube/whatever no problem. The speakers are not good, but it sounds OK with headphones.

  47. The Late P Brooks

    More:

    The real concern is, however, not whether these changes happen, but how far they go, and how they will be managed?

    Prof Goldin has a simple and clear way of explaining the options – will the result be more like what happened after World War One, or after World War Two?

    We could, like after 1918, get weak or weaker international organisations, the rise of nationalism, protectionism and economic depression. Or, as followed 1945, more cooperation and internationalism, like Bretton Woods, the Marshall Plan, the UN and the General Agreement on Tariffs and Trade.

    Prof Goldin remains cheerful, but worries about who is going to take the lead. “We can be optimistic, but we are not seeing leadership out of the White House certainly,” he says. “China can’t step up to the plate, and Great Britain cannot lead in Europe.”

    This is a worry shared by Prof Portes, who points out that: “The London G20 Summit of 2009 agreed a $1tn (£800bn) package of international cooperation, even Germany joined in. But now there is no leadership in the G20, and the USA is absent from the international scene.”

    Will globalisation be reversed? Probably not, it is too important an economic development for that to happen, but it could well be slowed down.

    The bigger question is, however, have we learnt the lessons of this crisis? Will we learn to spot, control and regulate the risks that seem to be an integral part of globalisation? Because the cooperation and leadership necessary to make that happen seem to be in short supply.

    Once we get the world government we truly need, there will be no such thing as “globalisation”. It will just be a beneficent One World Socialist Collective, and the Ministry of Plenty will distribute the bounty of orderly, well-planned production; from each according to his abilities to each according to his needs.

    • creech

      I wonder how long the Ministry of Plenty’s blue helmets will fare in some of the more heavily armed states of U.S.A.? “Red Dawn” anyone?

      • Tres Cool

        WOLVERINES!

      • Pat

        Based on what I’ve seen this year, I’d say the only uncomfortable part of their occupation will be a lack of toilet paper.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I hate to tell the author of this piece this but globalization is dead, at least for the time being.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      If it weren’t for Trump, the EU would have survived COVID.

      /future headline

    • Raven Nation

      Bretton Woods? Really?

      So a short-term fix based on a global elite faith that something with no intrinsic value will retain that value indefinitely.

  48. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of cognitive dissonance- I suspect there are a lot of people who would say, “My governor (Steve Bullock, for example) has been doing a great job of responding to this horrific threat to humanity and keeping me safe, and we should delay the November election in the interests of continuity and consistency.”

    And what might those same people say about putting off the Presidential election?

    • UnCivilServant

      Cuomo is an incompetent fuckwit who needs to be pitched out of the state.

      • Not Adahn

        How can you say that? Just last week we were 40,000 ventilators short and now we have all we need!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        [I]n the case of COVID-19, the preliminary outcome data is rather dismal. On Monday, the New England Journal of Medicine published a case series of very ill COVID-19 patients in Seattle with data up to March 23: of the 20 patients who went on a ventilator, only four had so far escaped the hospital alive. Nine had died. Three remained in suspended animation, going on three or four weeks of ventilation. Four escaped the ventilator but remained in hospital.

        Contrast these results and the media push on ventilators with the results of the HCQ trials and the media pushback against it and let me know how it makes any sense whatsoever.

      • R C Dean

        Do they provide a baseline comparison against patients on a vent generally? Because vents are what is known as “life support” and “extraordinary measures” – if you’re put on one, you don’t have great odds regardless.

      • Chipwooder

        That was my totally amateur reaction too – getting put onto a ventilator for any reason is a bad, bad thing, and most people who are, regardless of cause, probably will not recover.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It’s a valid question that I can’t answer. My point was more towards the media blindness to their questionable usage in treating COVID. By the time you’re on a ventilator, your odds of surviving are shit, nevermind the potential for damage to your lungs from the ventilator itself.

  49. The Late P Brooks

    What was that about a plan?

    The USNS Comfort hospital ship and an emergency hospital at the Javits Center are meant to be relief valves for hospitals in New York City, where more than 14,000 people have been hospitalized for COVID-19. But the facilities have been largely empty, leading officials to try to streamline their operations.

    Now, New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo is hoping the Comfort can join the Javits Center on the front line of the fight against the coronavirus.

    Cuomo said Monday that he will ask President Trump to allow the Navy ship to be used to treat COVID-19 patients, noting that the local health care system is under too much stress.

    “Hospitals are pulling off miracles on a daily basis,” Cuomo said. “But it is a monumental challenge to sustain this pace.”

    Both of the overflow hospitals were initially intended to serve only non-coronavirus patients. But the Javits Center was repurposed late last week to start accepting COVID-19 patients — and the hospital ship is no longer requiring a negative COVID-19 test prior to admission.

    The procedural shifts have called for the two overflow centers to work closely together. According to the most recent admissions data released by the U.S. government, the facilities — both of which have 1,000-bed capacity — are serving fewer than 100 patients.

    Somebody needs to get with the program. It’s like the left hand doesn’t know what the right hand is trying to do.

    • Pat

      Billy Graham’s kid was operating another overflow facility as well, but they’re talking about scuttling it because he hates the gays.

    • Timeloose

      Why would you not use the navy ship and Javits center as COVID only patients. The care, personnel, and isolation needs would be much easier to control in one locations purpose built for it. A hospital is made to take care of multiple types of patients.

      • Rhywun

        The idea was to have a place to treat patients without risking them getting the ‘vid. I guess on the assumption that most folks in the hospital now already have it.

      • sloopyinca

        I think its because the navy ship doesn’t have private rooms, which has been shown to help patients with varying degrees of symptoms/viral strength stay isolated.

        I read recently that the number if single-occupancy hotel rooms in Italy might be a contributing factor to their high death rate. They have 1/10 the rate of single-occupancy hospital beds as we do in the US. Furthermore, they use 1/10 the amount of disinfectant per patient day as we do in our hospitals, making me wonder if their death rate is partially exacerbated by the relative level of squalor in their socialized medical facilities.

      • R C Dean

        I’ve those hospital ships. I was shocked to hear they have somehow jammed 1,000 beds into them; I have a 600 bed hospital that is much bigger than one of those ships, and we aren’t all private rooms, either. Filling them up with Commie Cough patients is incredibly, bone-crushingly stupid. There is absolutely no way they will be able to avoid cross-contamination of damn near everything.

        As Drake says, these are purpose-built trauma hospitals, and as such are very poorly suited to handling infectious patients.

      • Drake

        Those ships may be the best 2 trauma hospitals in the world, it’s what they are designed and staffed for. You can dump sick people in there, but they’ll be mediocre for it. Would probably be better off having the Army set up field hospitals nearby with virus patients in mind.

      • leon

        You marines act so brave, but when it comes down to going to a hospital, you all cry if you have to go to the one staffed by army doctors…

        /snark

    • WTF

      “Hospitals are pulling off miracles on a daily basis,” (the death toll isn’t nearly as high as we were claiming it would be) Cuomo said.
      “But it is a monumental challenge to sustain this pace.” (Nevertheless, we must keep the panic going as long as possible)

    • invisible finger

      “Hospitals are pulling off miracles on a daily basis,”

      Jesus was pulling off miracles every day. And like Cuomo, the Pharisees executed Jesus because he didn’t obtain a Certificate Of Need.

      • Drake

        I thought the Italians like Cuomo executed him?

      • invisible finger

        The Pharisees arrested him and sentenced him to death, but they didn’t have the authority to do it with running it by the Romans first. The Romans initially said no, but they bowed to public pressure whooped up by the Pharisees. Similar to the way the Constitution died.

      • Drake

        (((They))) got the Italians to do the dirty work – I love the classics.

    • leon

      I thought Tenochitlan had a million residents when the Spanish arrived…

      • UnCivilServant

        I am skeptical of that figure. How was it arrived at?

      • leon

        Apparently my ass. I looked it up and estimates are at around 200-300 million.

  50. PieInTheSky

    Proof-of-Concept ‘Smart Toilet’ System Monitors Your Health, Could Save Your Life
    Face with open mouth
    https://realclearscience.com/quick_and_clear_science/2020/04/06/a_proof-of-concept_smart_toilet_system_monitors_your_health_and_identifies_you_by_analprint.html

    “Individual users are identified via a fingerprint scanner embedded in the flush lever as well as by ‘analprint’ (yes, the researchers called it an analprint).”

    https://twitter.com/SteveStuWill/status/1247314422533484546

    • UnCivilServant

      Nope.

      The only things a toilet should do is be comfortable, and deliver whatever is deposited in it to the sewer without clogging.

    • Tundra

      Lol.

      No.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      But can it identify drugs falling out your ass?

      • Tres Cool

        They were flushed.

      • PieInTheSky

        damn

    • Mojeaux

      I’m waiting for the day incinerating toilets are put in houses.

      • Fourscore

        Using solar power…

    • robc

      38 states hit my less than <10% new case factor yesterday, which is good, but probably meaningless.

  51. Scruffy Nerfherder

    A trip to CostCo yielded one 36 pack of SCOTT’S SINGLE PLY

    I’M SAVED

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      For a week or so. ?

    • Pat

      The Charmin has run out here and I’m on the Quilted Northern triple ply that I snagged on my last Walmart run. Apparently each ply is about 1/1000th of a micron now…

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, from the roll of scotts I had to deal with as part of the emergency supply, I’d agree. One drop of moisture saturated a square, and it’d fall apart if you looked at it wrong. The only reason it isn’t the worst toilet paper I’ve had in my house is because there was also a roll of generic imitation scotts that had all the flaws plus a rough texture on the skin. Which is remarkable that it managed that with zero tensile strength.

        Even the store brand imitation charmin works better than the scotts rolls.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Vut are ve queueing for, comrade?

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Aw, meant to reply to Chipwooder.

      • UnCivilServant

        I was going to reply with “you’re in the wrong line”

        How right I was.

    • Chipwooder

      I managed to snag two packs of the Aldi cheapo Scott’s single ply knockoff…..and was damned glad to have been so lucky.

      So this is what life under Communism is like – feeling overwhelmed with gratitude at stumbling across a lousy product because you expected to find nothing at all.

    • Galt1138

      Last weekend I went to Costco just about 30 minutes too late. I saw lots of carts leaving the store with those big Kirkland brand, 30 roll TP packages.

      By the time I got in the store, they were gone.

      A local store got a shipment of some off brand 3 ply, 12 roll packages. I bought one just in case (we’re still in good shape on our TP supply for now).

      Yet another reason I’m glad we have bidets.

  52. Shirley Knott

    A hearty Thank You to Tonio for his post, currently above this one. Nicely done and sure to be helpful.

    • RAHeinlein

      +1

    • PieInTheSky

      Tonio is not the boss of me I will edit my post just like before, only with more dick pics

    • Gender Traitor

      I haz confuse. Where is this post of Tonio’s?

      • Shirley Knott

        It vanished, no idea why or to where.

      • Rhywun

        Probably moved to a “help” section of some sort to keep it out of the regular rotation.

        (The post is for Glib authors using WordPress.)

  53. Rebel Scum

    Civil Liberties Declared Nonessential

    “I think we’re going to come out of this whole thing having woken up to the realization that liberty has been insanely overrated and it’s time to move on,” said California governor Gavin Newsom, who was quick to impose the guidelines on his state. “Human rights aren’t even real. Science can’t prove them. They’re imaginary. We need to be a culture of empiricism and evidence and toss out these old-fashioned ideas about human liberty and rights which, frankly, came straight out of the days of slavery.”

    • Chipwooder

      Does the fact that I assumed that was a real quote reflect

      a)that the left is so hostile to liberty that such a quote is quite believable
      b)that I’m gullible
      c)that the Bee is excellent at their craft
      d)all of the above

      • RAHeinlein

        Um, you weren’t the only one – I read twice and said “WTF is he saying?”

      • Galt1138

        As a resident of the People’s Republic of Kalifornia, it’s A & C.

    • BakedPenguin

      Of course they are. Just ask the experts.

  54. ChipsnSalsa

    Big crazy thought… Are people who get infected with this virus so terrified that they psych themselves out and become less able to fight the virus? Because if this virus was in America since December or January why didn’t we see people getting put on ventilators back then? Where they and it was just counted up as a respiratory bug because nobody knew to check for this as China was hiding this from the world?

    • Defiant YDAK of the Desert

      My Wife was, and died of an “unknown Pathogen”
      Think about that

      • ChipsnSalsa

        Yes, my nephew was brought to the emergency room in mid Feb with “breathing difficulty”. Tested as “not the flu” was treated and released and is totally fine now.

    • Private Chipperbot

      I think there is a graph around that shows flu and other respiratory infection rates dropping almost immediately to zero once covid was identified.

      • R C Dean

        I’ve seen that, although not in the last week or two. My thought (well, Mrs. Dean’s) at the time was it could be a reporting artifact.

        I think its highly probable that the Commie Cough has been hiding in flu/flu-like illness/pneumonia for awhile. If the drop in deaths from those causes persists while Commie Cough deaths increase, I think its safe to say that the Commie Cough is causing relatively few excess deaths, and likely that its been here awhile as well.

      • Defiant YDAK of the Desert

        This,^ Wendy’ Foot was infected, only After she entered the Hospital did she Develop a Respiratory infection, that ultimately killed her,
        Where did she get it?

      • R C Dean

        Look at that spike in late Dec/early January. Tell me that’s not the Commie Cough.

    • Tejicano

      I’ve been researching firearms and bullet effectiveness for decades – just part of my wheelhouse. I’ll never forget a case of some cop who died from a single bullet wound – he was shot in the upper arm by a 25 caliber pistol. All I can imagine is that he had worried himself to such an extreme over the possibility that he might someday be shot that when he was he died of shock. Lots of people give up the ghost simply because they believe it will happen.

      • Not Adahn

        Mebbe the brachial artery was involved?

  55. The Late P Brooks

    This just occurred to me:

    There are people out there who truly don’t get what’s happening. It’s as if they think the virus is some sort of scary-movie monster lurking in the woods which will get bored and go away if we just stay in the house and don’t go outside for a few days or weeks.

    “Flatten the curve” does not mean the virus is going to go away if we hide from it. It just means there might be fewer hospitalized victims on any given day. Just go cut the fucking firewood, and keep looking over your shoulder.

    • Rhywun

      I don’t want to catch it unless and until there is an effective treatment that isn’t being actively denigrated by the media to the point where it would difficult to obtain it.

      So, here I am inside today. *checks supplies in fridge*

    • Tejicano

      I don’t really have much choice. All but a couple of the projects I was working on are on hold and my kids are out of school while my wife is running the family business with her dad.

      In his condition my f-i-l wouldn’t last a week if he gets the Pooh Flu and I don’t want to be the vector through which he gets it. Besides, with my income in stasis I have no compelling reason to be out, spending money, where I could catch this virus.

  56. The Late P Brooks

    Are people who get infected with this virus so terrified that they psych themselves out and become less able to fight the virus?

    I think that’s a huge part of it. The propaganda machine has been telling them everybody who gets it dies. How did they expect people to react?

  57. The Late P Brooks

    This is helped along by the pernicious view, fostered by linguistic usage, that The Economy is exogenous.

    It can be turned on and off. It has switches and knobs. The right Top Men can tune it until it hums like a dynamo.

    • Fatty Bolger

      We just need to get a home-grown version of Project Cybersyn up and going. It will work this time, with the right people in charge.

  58. Rebel Scum

    Grisham out.

    White House press secretary Stephanie Grisham is leaving the job without ever having briefed the press. CNN has learned she is returning to the East Wing as first lady Melania Trump’s chief of staff as President Donald Trump’s new chief of staff Mark Meadows shakes up the communications team in the West Wing.

    Meadows is currently considering several candidates for the press secretary job, including Trump campaign spokeswoman Kayleigh McEnany. The new chief of staff is also considering hiring Alyssa Farah, the current spokeswoman for the Defense Department, for a communications role, among others, two sources with knowledge of the situation told CNN.

    At least Trump keeps a shortlist of hotties to pick from.

    • BakedPenguin

      Unbelievable. There was a link below the picture to another CNN video with this headline: “Lemon: Grisham is just a spokesperson for Trump”. No shit, Don. That (was) her fucking job, you moron. Go get drunk on camera again, if you’re not going to be a journalist, you can at least be amusing.

  59. R C Dean

    Let’s be clear on one thing:

    The Constitution, she dead. Stone. Cold. Dead. Consider:

    The First Amendment was the one thing that still had some popular support and that the courts were willing to actually defend to some extent.

    We now have governors ordering churches to close and arresting pastors who try to hold worship services. I never, ever, thought I would see the day. In all seriousness, this line has been crossed, and the thing about crossing a line is that once its done, it can’t be uncrossed.

    But R C, you say, the courts could still overturn these executive orders and the arrest of these pastors! Nope. Not gonna happen. Sure, a unilateral attempt to directly interfere in elections in WIsconsin has been rolled back, but as far as I know that’s the only executive order that has been slapped down, and that was done mostly because there is very specific statutory language and the court couldn’t quite bring itself to say that the governor can unilaterally revoke a specific statute. But there is no such statute for religious services, merely a constitutional prohibition. And those have long been cast aside for “compelling government interests”, so a court allowing a governor to padlock churches and arrest pastors due to a “Compelling government interest” that overrides a specific constitutional prohibition is nothing new. Merely the logical end point of generations of *spit* jurisprudence.

    We’ve been on this road for awhile, and I think we can say we’ve reached the end of it. The Constitution, she dead. Any future use of the corpse will be merely a pretext.

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      -1 Mistah Kurtz

      (this site is illegible! Would WP kindly make up my mind?)

    • leon

      But there is no such statute for religious services, merely a constitutional prohibition

      It’s so absurd i laughed, and then cried inside.

      • leon

        Seriously though, its the tragic Irony of the constitution. The government is created and given a list of things it can do, everything else verboten. Immediatly it is disregarded, because i mean, if we had really meant it, then what would government be able to do? Clearly there are these penumbras and shit that mean the government can disregard its founding document.

    • PieInTheSky

      Pour one out for the constitution. ANd another one for Lysander Spooner. And remember, if you work from home tomorrow, it is ok to be hungover

    • Mojeaux

      The Constitution, she dead. Stone. Cold. Dead. Consider: The First Amendment was the one thing that still had some popular support and that the courts were willing to actually defend to some extent. We now have governors ordering churches to close and arresting pastors who try to hold worship services. I never, ever, thought I would see the day. In all seriousness, this line has been crossed, and the thing about crossing a line is that once its done, it can’t be uncrossed.But R C, you say, the courts could still overturn these executive orders and the arrest of these pastors!

      I can’t disagree with this, but it is a comforting fiction to believe that she’s still just sick, that she could be cured.

      • commodious spittoon

        The Constitution will be kept comfortable while Congress decides whether to resuscitate it.

      • Fourscore

        Well, got rid of # 1, that was easy. Let’s go for #2

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      This wasn’t apparent after 9/11?

      Granted we got some very minor relief in a few USC decisions since then, but a significant portion of the general populace was calling people traitorous for opposing the barely-defined WOT and the Stasi-inspired Patriot Act.

      • Mojeaux

        This wasn’t apparent after 9/11?

        Yes. To some people. A few people. Everybody else was all WE’LL ALL BE FRISKED AT THE AIRPORT! THAT’LL SHOW THEM TURRISTS!

      • Pat

        Even then you didn’t have state governments imposing martial law for months at a time. And the wars we haphazardly declared cost us as much over the course of the next 15 years what we just spent at one wipe of a pen. I’ve been saying for weeks: this is absolutely the most ridiculous, retarded bullshit I have experienced in 33 years.

      • Tundra

        So, we’re all heavily armed and talk about how important that is.

        But what exactly is it we are trying to protect? Or guard against? A lot of our neighbors think this is all fine and dandy.

        We can’t even get a large number of people to disobey the stupid shelter in place nonsense.

        And 6 trillion more tacked onto the bill.

        This is fucked up.

      • R C Dean

        This wasn’t apparent after 9/11?

        I don’t recall any mosques being padlocked or mullahs arrested after 9/11 for attempting to hold worship services, never mind based on unilateral orders issued by a governor. We have crossed a line I never, ever thought we would cross. It never even occurred to me that I would witness this. Sure, its been a matter of whether, not when, but I’m saying now is the when.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The state level restrictions are a new development. I can’t recall how oppressive Giuliani got after the WTC attack.

        But we’ve been primed for this for a while. Osama had that part of us pegged.

      • leon

        Yeah…. we have destroyed ourselves.

      • Rhywun

        I can’t recall how oppressive Giuliani got after the WTC attack.

        Not very. I was back at work nearby, by the following Monday. And that was my company’s decision.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Wasn’t P. Act already in hand after the OKC bombing, and thanks (!) largely to Biden?

    • Pat

      But R C, you say, the courts could still overturn these executive orders and the arrest of these pastors! Nope. Not gonna happen.

      It might, but even if it does, it’s a pretty hollow victory. The only actual safeguard we have against tyranny is the vigilance of the citizenry. We’ve found out over the last few weeks that not only does nobody give a flying fuck about living in an unambiguous police state, but a good many of them will demand even more draconian measures and rat out their friends and neighbors.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      Merely the logical end point of generations of *spit* jurisprudence.

      The single biggest lesson I learned from my constitutional law classes was that the courts have been functioning since at least the late 19th century to neuter every single “wrongthinkful” part of the constitution. The only thing that changes is the fashionable part of the constitution to trash.

    • Rhywun

      #metoo. Fantastic movie.

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      Would make a good double feature with Goodbye Lenin.

  60. The Late P Brooks

    a “Compelling government interest” that overrides a specific constitutional prohibition is nothing new.

    Rights are created and granted by the government, only insofar as they do not impede or conflict with the steady expansion of government power and control. Sorry for the confusion.

    • PieInTheSky

      but hey maybe soon you will all at least get government healthcare. Look at the bright side. Ignore the boot. The boot is just this thing you know?

      • Fatty Bolger

        The boot is simply the thing we use on the faces we choose to stomp together.

  61. Count Potato

    “According to Trump’s financial disclosure, he owns between $1,000 – $15,000 of Dodge & Cox fund.

    Dox & Cox’s fund has 2.9% of its money in Sanofi.

    Trump owns 2.9% of btw $1,000 – $15,000.

    Trump owns $29 to $435 of stock.

    lol NYT didn’t think anyone would do the math.”

    https://twitter.com/Cernovich/status/1247390575277608960

  62. RAHeinlein

    Watching the Cuomo presser – he is pushing another Federal bailout package specifically for state governments and wants the “inequities for New York” from the last round addressed. Also, wants to discuss a special fund for first responders, similar to the 9/11fund.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Oh great, another fund that lasts forever.

      My kids are in more danger from working at the grocery store than most “first responders” are.

      • Idle Hands

        Don’t get me started. The fucking police has all but admitted it’s open season.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Huh, sounds like his run for the nomination has unofficially officially begun.

    • Sean

      he is pushing another Federal bailout package specifically for state governments and wants the “inequities for New York” from the last round addressed. Also, wants to discuss a special fund for first responders, similar to the 9/11fund.

      Fuck off.

    • Shirley Knott

      Somebody really needs to push back hard on “We’ve been giving you a billion a year to prepare for crises. Why should we think more money would help in the face of your total lack of preparedness for this crisis?”
      Or better words to that effect.

    • leon

      I know a lot of people from the Nevada,Utah,Arizona border who are not fans of the Bundys, but say what you will, they have been willing to put their lives on the line to defend their freedoms.

      • ChipsnSalsa

        a’yup. They have some serious intestinal fortitude that we are lacking

  63. ChipsnSalsa

    I’m gonna go read Ecclesiastes. I’m feeling down on things.

    What do people gain from all their labors
    at which they toil under the sun?

    • Donny McDonface

      The thing that hath been, it is that which shall be; and that which is done is that which shall be done: and there is no new thing under the sun

  64. The Late P Brooks

    And here it comes

    One of the nation’s top public health officials suggested Monday that because Americans are taking social distancing recommendations “to heart,” the death toll from the novel coronavirus will be “much, much, much lower” than models have projected.

    “If we just social distance, we will see this virus and this outbreak basically decline, decline, decline. And I think that’s what you’re seeing,” said Robert Redfield, the Director of the Centers for Disease Control.

    “I think you’re going to see the numbers are, in fact, going to be much less than what would have been predicted by the models,” he said.

    ——-

    National Institute for Allergies and Infectious Disease Director Anthony Fauci said he was very interested in data in New York that the number of admissions to intensive care and intubations in the last three days had started to level off.

    “We just got to realize that this is an indication despite all the suffering and the death that has occurred that what we have been doing has been working,” he told reporters.

    At the same time, Dr. John Brownstein, a Harvard epidemiologist and ABC News contributor, said that Redfield’s comments could mislead Americans into feeling a sense that the disease’s spread is under control.

    “Projections and models across the board are accounting for a reduction in mobility because of social distancing, so it’s way too soon to declare any kind of victory,” he said. “This is not a moment for people to relax because they feel the models are wrong.”

    See, sheeple? All you have to do is have faith in Big Nanny. We’ll take care of you and keep you safe. But- whatever you do, don’t pretend we’re out of the woods. Continue to cower in place until we say otherwise. Freedom is overrated. OBEY.

    • Ownbestenemy

      So what about places that didnt lockdown…how will they fit that square peg into their neat round holes

      • Shirley Knott

        Boots.

    • ruodberht

      I thought we were all going to get it regardless, and social distancing was to “flatten the curve”?

      The narrative changes more often than it did during Stalin’s Purges.

      • hayeksplosives

        Just make up your own stats to score political points. No one can prove you wrong.

      • BakedPenguin

        97% of climate experts know you’re wrong, hi-x.

  65. UnCivilServant

    I’m gone for all of 38 minutes and someone took my parking spot.

    It’s a random middle of a tuesday.

    This is why I can’t ever leave the house. Not because of some commie virus.

  66. Rebel Scum

    Cuomosexuality.

    [T]he less contact I have with other humans, the more I start to think of Cuomo as my only friend. I’ve started laughing at his little jokes. I catch myself touching my hair (not my face!) when he talks about an increase in testing capacity. I swooned when he told a reporter he had his own workout routine. I have watched a clip of him and brother Chris Cuomo bickering about their mother at least 20 times. I think I have a crush???

    [snip]

    It’s not just me. Suddenly, everyone loves Andrew Cuomo. Ben Smith, the New York Times’s new media columnist, wrote a column this week headlined “Andrew Cuomo is the Control Freak We All Need Right Now.” Politico ran a profile on him that digs into his past (and present?) presidential aspirations. Reporters I trust and respect keep talking about how this is Cuomo’s “finest moment.” There is also some intense discussion online over whether or not Cuomo is hot. I say yes. Sandra Lee, please let me have him.

    • leon

      I swooned when he told a reporter he had his own workout routine.
      It involves going the gym that is allowed to stay open for him RBG style.

    • hayeksplosives

      Puke.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Yeah. Some women fall in love with the murderers on death row, too.

  67. The Late P Brooks

    So what about places that didnt lockdown…how will they fit that square peg into their neat round holes

    That’s just noise. We’ll tell you what the signal says.

  68. Private Chipperbot

    Pushback in Michigan?

    Lansing — As Gov. Gretchen Whitmer asks residents to limit non-essential trips outside their homes, protesters gathered Tuesday in front of the Capitol to demonstrate against what they see as government overreach amid the COVID-19 pandemic.

    Nicholas Somberg, an attorney from Bloomfield Hills, held a tape measure in one of his hands during the event. It was set to six feet, the current social distancing recommendation of state and federal health officials.

    In Somberg’s other hand, he held a sign that read, “Government is non-essential.”

    The guv also wanted to extend her emergency powers for 70 days. The legilsature voted to allow for 23 to match with federal April 30th date. We’ll see, I guess.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Huh at least the legislators are involved..

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Is it just me or are the women the worst wannabe tyrants in all of this?

      • Donny McDonface

        just you

        * the HATE is weak in this one *

  69. Raston Bot

    i’ve been too busy to lurk since this govt oppression/Depression/shitstorm began. i’m about over homeschooling. and my employer is probably too.

    is this fucking virus thing going away or what? b/c i’m ready to soylent green all govt personnel, media, and academia.