IFLA: The “Surprisingly Laid Back” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of May 10

by | May 10, 2020 | Advice, IFLA | 67 comments

The week starts off nicely, with The moon and the Earth aligned with Venus, which is perfect for domestic bliss and canoodling.  Starting Wednesday, we’re in for some turbulence as not one but TWO planets go retrograde on the same day (-ish, check your local time zones and/or astronomical observatories).  So expect that domestic partner who had been so raring to go up until now to either have their libido turn off like a lightswitch, or pull out a harness they ordered and declare that it’s their turn to do the driving.  And that’s just Venus going retrograde.  Saturn going retrograde might just refer to the awful aftermath of the incident just described, but it’s more likely to refer to the bad ending of something much more important.  While the Antichrist will be born when Saturn is station retrograde, the rest of the stars are NOT appropriately aligned for it to be happening this time, so at least you don’t need to worry about that yet.  On Friday, there will be an alignment of Mercury with Mars and Jupiter, which is… well, interesting.  It’s not bad, necessarily, but it’s definitely a sign with a directionality to it and there is definitely a right end and a wrong end to be standing in front of.  You’ve got change/luck/news-war/violence/-rulership/order.  It’s an auspicious time for hijinx and punitive raids.

The moon is in Sagittarius, which is a sign to challenge yourself and attempt some stretch goals.

Aquarius is the water bearer.  Pipes also carry water.  Pipes that carry water are plumbing.  Plumbing gets its name for the Latin word for lead.  Lead is represented by Saturn.  On the 14th, Saturn goes retrograde in Aquarius.  Retrograde means to move backwards.  Take a video, the water in your toilet is going to swirl backwards.

Mars crosses into Pisces this week.  A war on fish?  A war over fishing rights?  Some navy sinks a fishing boat?

Taurus closes it’s month out on a reasonable high note, with Mercury continuing to shine therin.  Unfortunately, you used up all your Venus time last month.

No Majors drawn this week but three knights indicate increased travel.

Taurus:  Knight of Wands reversed – Rupture, division, interruption, discord.

Gemini:  7 of Wands –  Valor, discussion, wordy strife, negotiations, war of trade, barter, competition, success.

Cancer:  8 of Wands reversed – Jealousy, internal dispute, stingings of conscience, quarrels and domestic disputes for persons who are married.

Leo:  King of Cups – Fair or responsible man, man of business, law, or divinity, equity, art and science, creative intelligence

Virgo:  Knight of Swords – Skill, bravery, capacity, defense, address, enmity, wrath, war, destruction, opposition, resistance, ruin.

Libra:  9 of Wands reversed – Obstacles, adversity, calamity.

Scorpio:  6 of Swords –  Journey by water, route, way, envoy, expediency.

Sagittarius:  Knight of Cups reversed – Trickery, artifice, subtlety, swindling, duplicity, fraud.

Capricorn:  Page of Wands –  Lover, an envoy, a postman, someone bearing favorable testimony.

Aquarius:  10 of Swords – Pain, affliction, tears, sadness, desolation

Pisces:  Queen of Cups –  Good, fair woman; honest, devoted woman, loving intelligence, gift of vision, success, happiness, pleasure, wisdom, virtue;, a perfect spouse and a good mother.

Aries:  7 of Coins – Money, business, barter, successful investing, growth

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

67 Comments

  1. Don Escaped Australians

    Capricorn: Page of Wands – Lover, an envoy, a postman, someone bearing favorable testimony.

    I don’t really want any more help with this year.

  2. Spudalicious

    “ Libra: 9 of Wands reversed – Obstacles, adversity, calamity.”

    Maybe you’d like to explain to the class how this can be considered, “laid back”? Hmm?

  3. Gender Traitor

    Scorpio: 6 of Swords – Journey by water

    Hmmm….no plans to take a canoe trip. Those often turn out badly, I hear.

    • Hyperion

      Depends on who you are. I used to work with a lady who was the female version of Kramer from Seinfeld. She had a new boyfriend, poor guy. So the weekend after she set his parent’s kitchen on fire, he took her on a canoe trip. Of course she decided to stand up in the canoe, tipping it and they lost all their gear down the rapids and couldn’t retrieve any of it. The next weekend they went fishing in the canoe and she got a lure with a treble hook stuck in a tree branch and being the genius she is, she tried to yank it out, it came loose and they had to take her boyfriend to the emergency room to get a treble hook out of his head.

  4. Dr. Fronkensteen

    enmity, wrath, war, destruction, opposition, resistance, ruin.

    Same question as Spud. Unless it’s the destruction of my enemies.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=382BTxLNrow

  5. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: Knight of Cups reversed – Trickery, artifice, subtlety, swindling, duplicity, fraud.

    Okay, then. But I gots ta know.

    Who swindles whom?

    • Naptown Bill

      You know what they say about spotting the sucker at the poker table…

  6. The Late P Brooks

    Should I call one (or all) of my ex girlfriends and tell her I love her? Take me back (for a few hours, anyway), Baby!

    • Suthenboy

      It will take you about 30 seconds to remember why they are an Ex.

      • DEG

        Yep.

  7. westernsloper

    Gemini: 7 of Wands – Valor, discussion, wordy strife, negotiations, war of trade, barter, competition, success.

    That doesn’t sound like me at. all.

    • Ted S.

      War of trade, and barter!

  8. Sean

    “Jealousy, internal dispute, stingings of conscience, quarrels and domestic disputes for persons who are married.”

    Damnit.

    ?

    • Gustave Lytton

      West German? I love those ones. They look like an industrial machine not a sculpted piece of plastic. Although when you said kraut cop, was expecting something more Walther with polizei in the name.

      • Sean

        Yes.

        Nordrhein-Westfalen state police marked (8/82).

        I do want a P1 at some point. I just haven’t gotten around to it yet.

      • Akira

        Sweet.

        My friend has an Israeli police Hi-Power pistol. It shows considerable wear, and when he first got it, you could cock it, put the safety on, pull the trigger, and the hammer would drop (all the way down, as in “go bang”) when you disengaged the safety. But he had a gunsmith fix it up and now the innerworkings are good as new.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I’d love to have a P38k. The regular P38/P1 scream to me that the barrel needs to be cut down.

  9. Naptown Bill

    Leo: King of Cups – Fair or responsible man, man of business, law, or divinity, equity, art and science, creative intelligence

    That’s funny, I’ve got my annual review tomorrow. Mind you, they’ve already announced that because of ‘rona related budget stuff there won’t be a COLA or merit increase, so it’s mostly just for show, but whatevs. I’ve still got a job, so I’m ahead of the game. Also, I’m looking into how I can get out of this whole W-2 salary thing and into running my own business(es) without exposing my family or myself to financial risk, and some of my options have been in the creative intelligence neighborhood.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    Kraut cop protection.

    Nice. P6? I’ve got one, and I really like it. The only off-the-shelf pistol I seriously want is a P220.

    • Sean

      Yup. Wish I would have bought another one or two when they were cheap.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Me too. I remember when those and other earlier Sigs were basically holding down dealers tables at gun shows.

  11. The Late P Brooks

    Wish I would have bought another one or two when they were cheap.

    #METOO

  12. JD is in the United Karendom

    Happy Mothers’ Day (US) to all the Glib Unicorns with fillies and foals.

    • Mojeaux

      Thanks!

  13. Mojeaux

    Taurus: Knight of Wands reversed – Rupture, division, interruption, discord.

    Hm. This past week was a very good week. I shall endeavor to MAKE this week a good week.

    • Mojeaux

      Starting out well, with a trip to Harbor Freight.

      • Raven Nation

        Hey Mo: here’s out AVs: https://imgur.com/Km8Mxjf

        Planted in October, pic is from a few weeks back.

      • Mojeaux

        Sweeeeeeeeeet!!! Love me some AVs. So pretty, so useful.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    You can’t put anything over on those geniuses at Vox

    Essentially, a program aimed at helping alleviate the financial burden small businesses are facing right now could ultimately add to it.

    No shit, Shirley?

    Worst of all, “underserved” demographic groups might be missing out on the opportunity to get caught in this debt trap clusterfuck.

    • Sean

      The most bullshit part of the PPP is that the 8 week clock to spend it starts when the funds but your bank account. A large of of PA is still on a stay at home lockdown. A little more flexibility of when the clock starts would have greatly helped small businesses that can’t operate right now or are at a greatly reduced staff.

  15. Rhywun

    Alec Baldwin returns as President Trump drinking Clorox in ‘SNL’ opener

    Edgy AF.

    • Spudalicious

      Wouldn’t mind if he swilled a little Draino.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      Wasn’t the bleach drinking thing like a month ago? Does anyone even remember it at this point? I thought we’d moved on to yelling at beachgoers or something.

      • Raven Nation

        Yep. The latest thing, apparently, is that Trump thought Covid was a crisis until he realized that white people weren’t dying.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    Headline: “Pork Chops vs People”

    Those guys at the NYT really know how to journalism.

    • Rhywun

      Who needs pigs when there are grubs to root for.

  17. DEG

    Leo: King of Cups – Fair or responsible man, man of business, law, or divinity, equity, art and science, creative intelligence

    Huh? This doesn’t sound shitty. Is this your way of telling me I’ll get to take a dump on Clown Prince Sununu, Wolf, or any of the other asshole governors crapping on the country?

  18. Suthenboy

    “Journey by water, route, way, envoy, expediency.”

    But nothing about throwing my back out while restacking firewood this morning?
    That would have been news I can use.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    MSNBC business channel white knights public health expert

    Alameda County responded with a statement saying its Health Care Services Agency and Public Health Department have been working closely with Tesla in Fremont on a safety plan. They said they aim for Tesla to reopen while protecting the health of thousands of employees who travel to and from work at the factory.

    “We look forward to coming to an agreement on an appropriate safety plan very soon,” the county said without offering specific details on a timeline. “We appreciate that our residents and businesses have made tremendous sacrifices and that together we have been able to save lives and protect community health in our region. We need to continue to work together so those sacrifices don’t go to waste and that we maintain our gains.”

    While Musk characterized Pan as “ignorant,” the doctor has deep experience in both public health and infectious diseases.

    Among other things, Pan is a graduate of Tufts medical school, completed a residency and fellowship at UCSF and has worked at Alameda County Public Health Department since 2011 while also working as a physician and professor. She previously worked for six years as the Director of Bioterrorism and Infectious Disease Emergencies at San Francisco Public Health Department, according to her resume on LinkedIn.

    Tow that lion!

    This is what real journalism looks like.

    • hayeksplosives

      “Sacrifice” indicates some degree of willingness on the part of the person giving something up, does it not?

      • Suthenboy

        *Aztec Priest give a shit-eating grin and a big double thumbs up*

    • Gustave Lytton

      Director of Bioterrorism and Infectious Disease Emergencies at San Francisco Public Health Department

      Exactly how many bioterrorist attacks did SF face? And judging by results, the second one wasn’t particularly successful either. She’s no Donald Sutherland. Although in the end, he didn’t fare any better.

    • DEG

      YES!

    • creech

      I think we will see compliance just fade away, almost without remark, in states all over the country. Last to get back to normal will be highly visible businesses, like restaurants, that are particularly susceptible to Karen’s nosiness.

  20. tripacer

    Does anyone know if there are any bars or breweries in Couer d’ Alene or nearby that are open? My friend and I were talking last night about driving 2 hours over the border to sit in a bar and drink a beer and eat a burger.

    • egould310

      Yes please. My wife and I want to bug out from Seattle to CdA. Extended stay hotel, bars and restaurants. Any ID Glibs have info?

      • tripacer

        Or Oregon. I flew down to Hermiston last week, and the airport manager told me that Hermiston, aside from restaurants being closed, was business as usual. Basically the same as here in E WA. There’s gotta be a “speakeasy” here in the region somewhere, and I want to give them business.

    • Hyperion

      “patriot or a snitch pussy”

      I’m guessing that CNN will call that person a hero.

  21. Hyperion

    ” Lover, an envoy, a postman, someone bearing favorable testimony”

    I ain’t fucking the postman, so you can just fuck right off!

    #CapricornsRpeople2

    The resistance shall continue.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    Be AFRAID

    President Trump’s personal valet, the vice president’s spokeswoman, Katie Miller, and Ivanka Trump’s personal assistant (who has been teleworking for nearly two months) all tested positive for Covid-19, illustrating the manifold threats the pandemic poses to our government. The news raises questions about the legitimacy of the White House’s own narrative about its ability to keep Americans safe, while highlighting the potential havoc the coronavirus could wreak on our government and national security.

    News that the coronavirus has infiltrated the White House presents a direct threat to the administration’s narrative that it is taking the necessary measures to keep the American people safe. Earlier this week, the White House rejected the very guidelines it asked for from the Centers for Disease Control and Protection on how to safely reopen the country because the CDC’s 17-page draft was “overly prescriptive.”
    Instead of relying on experts, the White House is flying blind, putting itself in charge of determining how to keep Americans safe. To make matters worse, the failure to protect the President and Vice President Mike Pence doesn’t inspire much confidence that the administration is doing everything possible to protect the rest of us. It also undercuts the President’s assertions that it’s time to reopen the country because it’s clear that new infections are a reality — even in the White House.

    ——-

    Both Miller and the valet pose a direct threat to the health of the Trump, Pence and so many other members of the White House and supporting personnel. The risks of contagion are very real — and contagion comes with direct costs for our national security. Unchecked community spread within the White House would be a catastrophic event. An incapacitated President or vice president would represent a major vulnerability in our executive branch, as would contagion among staff, who are essential to the functioning of our government. The fact that both the valet and Miller likely had sustained contact with numerous other staffers raises the real risk that personnel critical to undertaking key national security work could be sidelined and unable to do their jobs.
    While we all hope that the valet and Miller make speedy recoveries — and that infection is limited — their cases expose the problems with the White House’s approach to Covid-19 guidelines.

    White House press secretary Kayleigh McEnany said the White House, which would start contact tracing, has “taken every single precaution to protect the president.” But the fact that personnel coming in close proximity to the President, for example, didn’t all wear masks before this incident begs the most basic question: Why not? If the fate of our government is at stake, it is hard to imagine why the White House wouldn’t take every precaution to follow basic guidelines.

    Right now the White House needs to focus on crisis control — namely ensuring that the valet and Miller are treated appropriately and trying to track down anyone else who may be sick and spreading the virus. But the strategic threats that this news presents are ongoing, particularly if the White House does not take immediate steps to change their own measures to keep personnel safe.

    But what about the Roooshunz? What are we doing to protect us from them?

    • kbolino

      I don’t think my eyes can roll far enough.

  23. zwak

    “Aquarius: 10 of Swords – Pain, affliction, tears, sadness, desolation”

    Well, I have been thinking of driving down to visit my father. Late stage Alzheimers.

    • westernsloper

      Damn, sorry to hear that.

      • zwak

        Thanks. It has been depressing as hell.