Afternoon Links of Thursday

by | May 21, 2020 | Daily Links | 312 comments

Man, I completely forgot that Monday is a holiday. Then I had to do my timesheet, and now my brain is convinced today is Friday. I feel like I’m just going to forget to come to work tomorrow. But not really. I have a meeting in the morning I should probably attend. More likely scenario is that I’m up and out by 6am Monday and remember its a holiday when I plant my butt in the work chair.

“Hello, humans… when are you coming back to feed us? We brought trade goods.”

Fewer people are buy houses, but fewer houses are on the market so prices go up. Huh. I expect a fuckton of inventory as soon as people start having to make payments again.

Things are getting back to normal at my alma mater.

Bullshit statistics are bullshit. Half of all US deaths could have been avoided? How many could have been avoided by not sending COVID survivors to convalesce in nursing homes?

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

312 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    “But not really. I have a meeting in the morning I should probably attend.”

    Don’t forget to forget pants.

    • Chafed

      That deserves an ass slapping GIF.

      • Chafed

        You’re a good man Swiss.

      • Swiss Servator

        Or, I could go down the rabbit hole of comments and it ends up 23 minutes.

  2. Count Potato

    “Among the treasures the marine creatures have provided are sea sponges, barnacle-encrusted bottles and pieces of coral.”

    I’d love a real sea sponge. I had one to wash cars, but I lost it somehow.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      But are you sponge-worthy?

      • bacon-magic

        I didn’t know you were considering him. NTTAWWT

    • bacon-magic

      I like how the dolphin “expert” says it’s unlikely that the dolphins miss humans…way to spoil it for the rest of us dickwad. Flipper is smarter than his ass anyway.

  3. Rebel Scum

    More likely scenario is that I’m up and out by 6am Monday and remember its a holiday when I plant my butt in the work chair.

    One time in high school I forgot it was Saturday and got up early did my normal weekday routine. I was showered and dressed before I realized.

    • Rhywun

      I showed up at work on the MLK holiday a couple years ago. Boy did I feel dumb.

      • Winston

        Did they fire you for being a racist?

      • Rhywun

        I didn’t tell anyone so nope.

      • Don Escaped Australians

        I worked for a Memphis firm 30 years ago that didn’t give MLK off paid. I went in year after year, and half of the hourlies never came in. I’m okay with that all around, but it’s dumb to plan to fill client needs with full production on a day when you can’t possibly do it.

      • Tulip

        I showed up once on a snow day. I didn’t watch morning news or listen to the radio. I thought I might as well work, but security made me go home.

      • Lady Z

        Reminds me of the time of was in training with my current company. I’m headed in to work at 5:50am for my 6am shift, and there’s ice everywhere. My trainer calls me to say there’s icy weather and there’s no work today. I tell him I’m 80% of the way there. Nope, too dangerous, go back to your hotel.

        :facepalm

  4. Drake

    “Gold Doubloons – go fetch me gold doubloons boy – I’ll give you a hot dog.”

    • Aloysious

      Give Drake the Doubloons. I’ll take the Triploons and Quadrooploons

  5. Count Potato

    “The challenge now lies in managing a potential second wave of the virus as restrictions are eased, and people attempt a return to their daily routines including work and leisure activities.”

    Here is some salsa. Now go eat a bag of dicks.

    • Drake

      I haven’t made it 5 minutes into a local news report with yelling “Fuck Off” in well over a month.

      • dontreadonme

        You are late to the game, my friend.

  6. Aloysious

    Perfect timing. Cup of hot black coffee, fresh garlic bread with Gruyere, almond cake or lemon scones for afters, and PM Lynx. Does it get any better than this?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      You suck.

      *munches on stale Pop-Tart*

      • Count Potato

        LOL

      • Agent Cooper

        And whose fault is that?

    • Ted S.

      Yes, if there’s sex involved.

      • Aloysious

        Are you offering?

      • Ted S.

        You want me to fuck you up the ass?

      • Mojeaux

        That escalated quickly.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        It’s like a bad reading of If you Give a Mouse a Cookie.

      • dontreadonme

        LMFAO.

      • Aloysious

        I was thinking more of being a voyeur. Your initial comment didn’t specify that *I* had to participate.

        😛

      • commodious spittoon

        “This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!

      • bacon-magic

        What a salty comment. Oh My!

      • Atanarjuat

        Man, this quarantine sure has made people desperate for physical contact of any kind.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Looks like Ted’s not much on foreplay.

      • Ted S.

        I thought fucking you up the ass was the foreplay.

    • Mad Scientist

      If the coffee, bread, cake, and scones are being served by the Swedish Bikini Team, then no, things can not get any better.

      • Tres Cool

        Or the models from any Stihl calendar

      • Chafed

        What happened to your love of larger ladies?

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Probably, that seems like an odd combination to me.

  7. Scruffy Nerfherder

    These idiotically speculative epidemiological studies using garbage data and freshly pulled from their ass models are getting on my nerves.

    • grrizzly

      Pol Pot was right.

    • RAHeinlein

      It’s all very simple – if we just stay locked-down no one gets sick. Bonus we save the planet!

      • Chafed

        I’m really scared that’s what Top Men are thinking.

    • Lady Z

      They really believe it. It is their appointed duty to ensure that all those lost souls who still don’t get it have a chance to understand and change their ways.

      • Nephilium

        Last Saturday was the first nice day here in a long time (patios were allowed to open on Friday). There was a wait at all of the locations, and a couple of places got warned for violating the rules. Inside seating opened today, no waits at the places I went to today. The staff and people in the locations have been in a good mood and chatty. No masks, and lots of people complaining about the slow rolling of opening things up. We get more items opening up on Tuesday (bowling alleys, tennis, sports leagues). Gyms/work out places are now able to open as a judge struck down the state order as illegal.

      • Nephilium

        And posted this in the wrong spot…

        *sigh*

      • Lady Z

        You’re supposed to blame the squirrels, not take responsibility for your own actions. :eyeroll:

  8. leon

    n are you coming back to feed us? We brought trade goods.”

    Trade isn’t really a concept that requires a large amount of intelligence.

    • Shirley Knott

      See this for a good example. Try to ignore the hand-wringing about “cut-throat supply and demand”.

      • dontreadonme

        Pretty awesome. I try to improve the soil on my farm constantly, but trying to help NatUr is hardz.

  9. Nephilium

    You’ve also got issues like the people who purchased vacation/summer homes to use as AirBNB rentals. They’re in trouble unless they’ve got a lot of cash savings built up as everything’s been locked down.

  10. Rebel Scum

    “The pod has been bringing us regular gifts, showing us how much they’re missing the public interaction and attention,” said a post on the cafe’s Facebook page.

    Or they are buttering you up for something.

    • Mad Scientist

      SEA SMITH LOVE FELLOW TRAVELER DOLPHINS

    • Gender Traitor

      One man’s gift is another dolphin’s bait?

      • Rhywun

        “Can’t play; baitin’.”

    • grrizzly

      “In all likelihood, they probably don’t miss humans per se. They probably miss a free meal and the routine.”

  11. Nephilium

    It appears I’m getting caught by a filter. But there’s an article that popped up in my feed about people owning properties that were in use for short term rentals are having liquidity issues.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The AirBNB tycoons are getting their asses handed to them.

    • Incentives Matter

      I remember seeing similarly-themes articles six to eight weeks ago, forecasting that just such an outcome would occur.

      Foreseeable consequences are not unintended, amirite?

      • Mojeaux

        In this case, I’m not sure TPTB actually thought about long-term consequences until after they’d panicked and locked everything down.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That happens when your only unit of measure is “Does this hurt Trump/help my political career?”

      • Mojeaux

        That’s one way of looking at it.

        Another is, “I don’t want to look stupid.”

      • Nephilium

        I also don’t think anyone could have predicted a complete shutdown of all leisure travel for at least two months. I can say that disaster recovery/business continuity plans are being updated a lot now.

  12. Rebel Scum

    Jauan Williams was arrested on a charge of battery touching or striking by the Tallahassee Police Department on Wednesday, May 20 and was released this morning.

    Greg Gutfield finally drove him off the rails I guess.

    • leon

      Every time i see a clip of the 5 i have to give props to the guy cause, even though he’s a dipshit, he seems to keep it together on that show.

    • Mad Scientist

      I had to go read the article to discover that “battery touching or striking” has nothing to do with batteries.

      • Rebel Scum

        It is dangerous to strike batteries, particularly in a frontal assault.

      • Tres Cool

        Resistance is useless.

      • Spudalicious

        ohm I gawd that was bad.

      • Shirley Knott

        Current events.

      • Agent Cooper

        Don’t even try to knock it off Robert Conrad’s shoulder.

        (awesome old-man reference)

    • bacon-magic

      Juan is the epitome of unbiased journalism. I also have a bridge for sale.

  13. Mojeaux

    Ravens and crows will bring you gifts of gratitude.

    • Mad Scientist

      So will rats. And cats. And dogs.

      • Mojeaux

        Lots of smart animals out there know who butters their bread.

  14. Winston

    Tomahawk Nation? Not woke

    • Brett L

      FSU pays the Seminole Nation a good bit in both real money and free scholarships to have our PC Pass. Also, how many other indigenous peoples get the kind of propaganda that “Unconquered” and a chief riding a horse named Renegade on Saturday nights afternoons all fall delivers? Now go see Osceola’s original clothing and Eric Clapton’s guitars at the Hard Rock casino in Tampa.

      • Viking1865

        I mean, with the way Free Shoes U has been playing recently, I’d want more money then I’m currently getting.

    • Atanarjuat

      “CrimiNoles”, also not woke.

  15. Nephilium

    Continuing the drum beat of stories, Ohio nursing home patients account for 70% of total COVID deaths. Over 75% of the ~1,800 deaths were people over 70.

    • Incentives Matter

      82% Canada-wide.

      Theresa Tam should resign. Assuming she had any integrity, of course.

    • The Other Kevin

      It’s getting harder and harder to convince people that keeping healthy people off the beach could have somehow prevented that.

    • The Other Kevin

      This is currently the thing that pisses me off the most. This is the one thing we saw coming from a mile away and yet they still fucked it up.

    • Ted S.

      But it’s all the fault of “Trump’s CDC”.

  16. grrizzly

    How would have seen this coming?

    One of the top scientific advisers to the British Government said the two metre (6’6″) social distancing rule is based on ‘very fragile’ evidence.

    People in the UK have been urged to stay at least 2m, or six-and-a-half feet, away from anyone who they don’t live with, to avoid catching or spreading COVID-19.

    But the distance may be a non-scientific estimate that just caught on in countries around the world, as top researchers say there is not solid evidence to back it up.

    Other nations have cut their rules down to a 1m gap, which advocates say could help businesses get back to work faster and help to kick-start the economy.

    Now do the other rules of the social distancing dogma.

    • DEG

      SCIENCE DENIERS!

    • Urthona

      The original WHO rule was 3 feet. I remember because it actually wasn’t long ago.

      These rules are all arbitrary.

    • Agent Cooper

      As someone not too keen on people in general, I am okay with this ‘science.’

  17. Don Escaped Australians

    @kellanhowell VA Gov. Ralph Northam just signed a law to decriminalize marijuana possession. The new law reclassifies marijuana possession as a civil penalty with a fine up to $25.

    so now that you’re chill, hand over the AR

  18. DEG

    Man, I completely forgot that Monday is a holiday. Then I had to do my timesheet, and now my brain is convinced today is Friday.

    The VP gave us a free day off tomorrow. Today is Virtual Friday. It’s a shame the bars aren’t open for indoor dining. I’d sit at the patio of one of the places open in the area, but given the limit capacity I don’t want to tie up a table sitting by myself.

    But it’s been weeks since visitors lined up to feed the animals due to coronavirus restrictions.

    That’s pretty close to getting it right. The government issued the restrictions, not Lil Rona, so I’ll allow it.

    “Certainly with the lock-down occurring from mid-March, and given the shakiness from the stock market in February, that hurt pending contracts, so now we are seeing an almost 20% decline in existing homes sales,” said Lawrence Yun, chief economist for the Realtors. “April activity will be down, but what we are hearing from Realtors is they are getting busy as governors are opening the economy.”

    I wonder if Krugabe is thinking to himself, “Close enough to aliens invading the Earth!

    • Nephilium

      The bar I grabbed lunch at had plastic dividers at the bar between every two seats. The dividers were on wheels, and moveable in case another group came in. Only the bartenders were wearing masks, none of the clientele were. Walking there and back, I saw only a couple of people wearing masks. Planning on heading out to another location for dinner tonight.

      • DEG

        Plastic dividers? Makes it kinda hard to socialize.

        I think staff are required to wear masks under Clown Prince Sununu’s current orders. One of the local brewpubs required a mask to go indoors to use the restroom. I don’t remember if Clown Prince Sununu’s rules required it. I thought they did, but at least one bar I got take-out from did not say anything when I walked in without a mask.

      • Nephilium

        The other option is to sit patrons about six feet apart from each other. Fat Heads for dinner had staff wearing masks (per the orders), but I didn’t see a single patron wearing one. Tomorrow afternoon the plan is to hit up a brewery that had the misfortune of opening on February 29th, based on a taproom model. No canning/bottling line.

      • DEG

        I got some take out this evening from a bar in Nashua.

        No masks inside the bar, not even on the staff. Huh. I thought the staff were required under the Clown Prince’s orders, but maybe I remembered that wrong too. I’m sure as fuck not going to say anything to the cops.

        Lots of people out. Almost a normal amount of vehicle traffic. Every patio I could see was full.

        I could count on one hand with fingers left over the number of people who weren’t restaurant staff properly wearing masks. There were maybe ten or so people with the masks pull down under their chin or pulled lower so that their noses were exposed. These people with masks, either properly worn or not, were a tiny percentage of the people I saw.

        The Nashua city government is considering a mask mandate. The Board of Health unanimously approved it. The mayor is all for it. I saw an interview with him where he said he was angry at the lack of mask usage. A few Aldermen are for it. I’ve heard the police actually aren’t for it because of something related to enforcement. Can’t remember now and I’m not going to look it up. It goes before the full Board of Aldermen soon.

      • Nephilium

        At one of the bars we were joking about the fact that for the first time in history, liquor stores and convenience stores were asking people to wear masks to come into them.

      • Tonio

        Good for you.

        I went to the supermarket today and all the staff and about 3/4 of the customers were masked. This was also old folks bus to the supermarket time which may have skewed things.

        Hoping to get some patio action this weekend if I can find someone to go with.

    • Lady Z

      The limit capacity might not be an issue. A lot of people are still scared to leave their homes.

      When our restaurants reopened, I didn’t see any that were pushing capacity. Patio seating has been pretty wide open.

  19. Mojeaux

    I’m still wondering if this business will affect rents (more inventory? less? more money? less?) at all.

    • Mojeaux

      *residential

    • Nephilium

      I think it will effect the rents, but I’m not sure if they’ll go up or down. Or if someone will start adding a COVID deposit to the standard first/last/security.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      They certainly will fluctuate.

  20. Winston

    https://www.google.com/amp/s/fivethirtyeight.com/features/the-pandemic-has-pushed-biden-to-the-left-how-far-will-he-go/amp/

    Mirroring the shift in his party, Biden and his advisers are now reimagining his candidacy and presidency — rolling out more liberal policy plans, speaking in increasingly populist terms and joining forces with the most progressive voices in the party. Biden himself has invoked the idea that he might be entering the Oval Office facing a crisis on the scale of the Great Depression.

    He recently told Politico that he supported a stimulus that was “a hell of a lot bigger” than the $2 trillion provision passed in March and that he was annoyed with Wall Street firms because “this is the second time we’ve bailed their asses out.” The former vice president is also reportedly considering Warren as a potential running mate more seriously than before because of her experience on economic issues. Last week, he appointed some of the party’s most prominent liberal figures, including Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez and Congressional Progressive Caucus co-chair Rep. Pramila Jayapal, to a team advising him on policy.

    “What I’ve heard the vice president say over and over again is this crisis is shining a bright, bright light on so many systemic problems in our country, and so many inequities. It is exacerbating and shining a light on environmental-justice issues, racial inequalities, so many other problems,” Stef Feldman, a top Biden policy adviser, recently told New York magazine.

    Dmmit Joe Biden being a lying corrupt weathervane was supposed to make him a crypto-libertarian!

    • Ted S.

      And I thought whoring off mothers was supposed to make their kids libertarian, but that doesn’t seem to have happened.

  21. Rebel Scum

    Moving the goalposts, yet again.

    “I think that’s what it’s going to take to really get our economy back to normal, and I really think that can’t happen fully, 100 percent until we have a vaccine that is foolproof,” Wolf said. “That’s my own stance.”

    Two other Democrat governors have also hinged their hopes of future normalcy on the development and availability of a vaccine.

    “Until a proven vaccine is widely available, we cannot firmly enter the ‘new normal,’ when life will once again return to all our workplaces, downtowns, and main streets,” New Jersey Gov. Phil Murphy (D) stated bluntly on Monday

    • DEG

      Gauleiter Wolf, Murphy, Newsom can go fuck themselves.

    • Winston

      It is nice to see how social liberal cosmopolitanism has made those states more conducive to libertarianism/

      • Swiss Servator

        Thank you, One Note Flute.

        We get it. Apparently we will continue to to get it…again and again and again.

      • Gender Traitor

        I knew it! My first love!!! ::swoons::

    • Tonio

      “foolproof”

      No such thing, even for established vaccines like MMR. There’s always that bad bottle, that patient who just doesn’t develop immunity after vax, etc. Granted those numbers are small.

      • The Other Kevin

        Mrs. TOK had a bad reaction to MMR. Every joint in her body ached for weeks. She ended up going on steroids to recover. So no such thing as foolproof.

      • Incentives Matter

        Some of those numbers are quite large, actually. I seem to recall that the standard vaccine against the strains of the 2017-2018 season’s circulating flu viruses had an effectiveness rate just a hair below 20%. Imagine if we end up getting a COVID vaccine in the same range. Then what?

    • Agent Cooper

      They will kill the SLAVE STATES dead. Surrounding FREE STATES should prepare for an influx of new citizenry.

  22. Pope Jimbo

    You’ve been warned people! Smart local prof says this is our last warning.

    COVID-19 is exposing the many weaknesses of our political and economic systems. Today we are suffering not only because of the pandemic, but also because of the choices we made and our failure to change course when needed. For the past 40 years we were told, and accepted the idea, that the government should play a minimal role in the economy of the country, cut taxes, cut social spending, provide as little as possible in way of services to the people and allow for-profit companies to operate with as little supervision as possible.

    This emergency is also a warning; maybe the last warning. Time has not run out, but it is running out. I do not believe in historical determinism; this country is not “destined” to fail. If it fails it will be because we made the wrong moves repeatedly and refused to correct our mistakes repeatedly.

    The answer will not be found in the advice of Wall Street and retired Silicon Valley millionaires (the same ones whose advice brought us to this sorry state). The answer is back to the future, to the wise policies and programs that helped create a prosperous society where the innovators and entrepreneurs could make a fortune but social spending assured that the American dream was not out of reach for the masses.

    If my kid was going to Hamline (pricey private college locally here in Minnesoda) I’d be asking questions about tuition refunds.

    • Ted S.

      If the government had remained small, there would be low enough debt that a pandemic stimulus (note that this stipulates it’s even necessary) could be afforded.

    • Rhywun

      accepted the idea, that the government should play a minimal role in the economy of the country, cut taxes, cut social spending, provide as little as possible in way of services to the people and allow for-profit companies to operate with as little supervision as possible

      What planet does this guy live on?

      • Count Potato

        IKR?

    • Brett L

      Smart local prof says this is our last warning

      Promises, promises.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      If only we were to give more power to smart professors like him, we’d all be happy, wealthy and wise.

  23. Winston

    So is Northam the ultimate libertarian? Pot legalizing, gun grabbing who supports lockdowns? How is that possible?

    • Pope Jimbo

      It isn’t real. He’s just currying favor with the writers at TOS

  24. hayeksplosives

    In my admittedly above average quality public schools, we devoted some lessons to statistics and how they can be tortured and used to mislead.

    They also taught us to recogniz marketing and ad strategies so that we’d recognize them if they were used against us. Basically, they taught skeptical thinking.

    Sure could use some more of that.

    • Viking1865

      I think the educational establishment has been controlled by leftists for decades. But it used to be that the left had a strain of anti-authoritarianism, especially with things like cops, war, drugs, corporate media, marketing. I had a few teachers who were that kind of old school liberal who definitely questioned certain departments of the government, and the establishment.

      I think that strain of the Left is just dying out. Everything now is Trust The Experts. Trust the giant media corporations. Trust the unaccountable bureaucrats. Trust anyone in a position of authority, because Science and Experts.

    • RAHeinlein

      Essentially, this is the Michigan AG saying if Trump doesn’t wear a face mask on this occasion, he will not be allowed to conduct any indoor campaign events in the state. Holy Crap.

      • The Hyperbole

        Asked not to does not equal not allowed to.

      • prolefeed

        I look forward to watching Michigan State Troopers trying to get past the Secret Service to put handcuffs on the prez.

        I’m guessing the badasses in the Secret Service would win that handily.

    • Urthona

      He didn’t. i saw the speech.

    • Ted S.

      I’d like to see a local sheriff arrest Mrs. Whitmer for not wearing a mask at her press conferences.

    • AlmightyJB

      MHP vs SS. I’d pay to see that shootout.

      • Shirley Knott

        So would I.

      • Incentives Matter

        The SS, a federalized National Guard, the 82nd Airborne, the 101st Airborne, Seal Team Six, etc., etc. and so on ad nauseam.

    • Pope Jimbo

      I await the outrage when Trump cuts all highway funding from any state that requires a President to wear a mask while touring factories in the state.

      The MSM will not be happy that Trump is finally catching on to the proper way to do things.

  25. DEG

    Both NH Senators invited to Biden’s VP slot vetting

    Both of New Hampshire’s U.S. senators in recent weeks were asked by presumptive nominee Joe Biden’s team to participate in the initial vetting process to be considered as his running mate, WMUR has learned.

    Sen. Maggie Hassan agreed and has participated in initial interviews, according to a source familiar with the process.

    Sen. Jeanne Shaheen, while honored to be considered, declined about two weeks ago, citing her commitment to New Hampshire, according to a New Hampshire Democrat with direct knowledge of her discussions with Biden’s team.

  26. Count Potato

    “Melania Trump will appear on a CNN town hall Thursday night, the same network President Donald Trump blasts as ‘fake news.’

    The first lady will appear on the network’s weekly global town hall on coronavirus, which is hosted by Anderson Cooper, a frequent critic of the president.

    Melania Trump’s remarks will be prerecorded and she is expected to address the nation’s students, CNN announced.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8344047/Melania-Trump-appear-CNN-despite-husband-calling-network-fake-news.html

    CNN will probably edit it or pull some other shit.

    • hayeksplosives

      The MSM can’t stand that she is pretty and apolitical (mostly).

      Remember how they went on and on about how “beautiful” Michelle Obama was with her “toned arms” etc?

      These people are either so delusional that they cant perceive objective beauty, or they know Michelle is hideous but OrangeBadFamily must all be shunned.

      • grrizzly

        It didn’t go unnoticed that the party that champions immigrants of all kinds never thought about celebrating our first* immigrant First Lady.

        *A First Lady born in England in the early 19th century doesn’t count.

      • Winston

        And Pres who not only has been divorced but divorced twice!

      • Mojeaux

        I’ll speak up for the Mooch. She’s not precisely hideous, but her dresser(s) certainly do a good job of making her so. She clearly can’t look in a mirror and see what looks good on her and what doesn’t.

        For one, I’d respect her more if she let her hair go natural, which I think is more attractive on Black women. The two most beautiful Black women I’ve ever met were older and had close-cropped afros. They were both also quite vivacious and cheerful, so I’m sure that played a big part in their attractiveness.

        For two, she may be wearing colors she likes, but those colors don’t like her. Bright red is a good color on her. She should have worn it more often. Dark red was most definitely not and she’s a hot mess all the way around in that photo. She’s hampered by the fact that her skin tone is very specific and sensitive to different hues/shades/tints.

        Her other problem is she has no waist. If she’d kept to an empire waist, she would have covered a lot of faults, but she didn’t. Her waist/belt goes from the top of her hips to around her rib cage and back down again and she never finds the sweet spot. She wore pleats (bad idea). She wore belts all the time (bad idea). She went sleeveless (not necessarily a bad idea if the rest of her wasn’t so messed up).

        I can find a lot more photos of her looking a hot mess, and few where she looks passable, but none that could have made her look like a million bucks. Everything she wore looked cheap.

      • Ted S.

        1 Katrina Adams.

        And Sloane Stephens has a much better smile than Madison Keys and her gorgeous sexy overbite.

      • Ted S.

        I thought I had a on that comment.

      • Ted S.

        OK, what’s WordPress doing that the plus sign ( ) isn’t showing up?

      • Rhywun

        That happened to me a while back. Dunno what fixed it – maybe Eyepiece update?

        +1 test

      • Rhywun

        Sigh – I miss tennis.

      • hayeksplosives

        I hated the belts the most, especially when she wore them on the OUTSiDE of a cardigan or other wrap. Looked frumpy and was made worse by poor posture that proved the sweater hadn’t shifted a bit above the belt to allow range of motion.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Melania doesn’t rip journalos arms out of their sockets if they don’t write hagiographies about her.

      • hayeksplosives

        Winner!

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        I don’t think Michelle Obama is hideous, but it does bother me how the media tries to convince everyone that she’s beautiful. It’s the same crap they pull when the say Beyonce is so awesome, and don’t you dare disagree, you racist.

      • prolefeed

        No such thing as “objective beauty”. Value is inextricably subjective.

      • Brochettaward

        Prolefeed like’s fat bitches confirmed.

      • hayeksplosives

        I thought about that as I typed it, and while it’s true that beauty is subjective, for the purposes of fashion pics of First Ladies, it’s sufficiently shallow coverage by the news rags that we can speak plainly.

        Michelle’s face makes a fist when she smiles.

      • Gadfly

        No such thing as “objective beauty”. Value is inextricably subjective.

        True, but there are social consensuses on what is beautiful and what is not, and that can be used as a standard to measure against. But it is good for everyone that not everyone agrees.

      • Mojeaux

        The shape of the eyes and the shape of their smiles.

        Melania does not seem to be a particularly happy person and her smile looks fake. Michelle’s looks less fake.

        Melanie has had orthodontia. If Michelle has, it didn’t stick.

        Melanie’s eyes have an upturned cat appearance I find off-putting. Michelle’s eyes make her look like she’s half asleep and one lid droops, making her looking like she had a mild stroke.

        I do not find Melania that much “objectively” prettier, and I can generally find just about anybody pretty if I look long enough, but the benefit of my doubt award goes to Mooch. Melania’s as pretty as she’s ever going to get no matter what she does and it is not a pretty I find pretty. Mooch can improve with good clothing and hair choices.

      • Mojeaux

        To me, Melania has an uncanny valley problem. She’s an alien who didn’t quite get it right.

      • Lady Z

        I think that’s the best photo I’ve seen of Michelle. She actually looks happy and that makes her look beautiful. Most of her photos aren’t so flattering.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m surprised there’s a photo where she’s not glowering.

      • UnCivilServant

        I get my news from Glibs. Are you admitting to be right wing?

      • The Hyperbole

        I’m not, but Glibs in general? yup, mostly right wing Trump-bots, save a few of us real libertarians (and a couple of anarchists) trying to hold the line.

      • UnCivilServant

        You’re clearly a filthy commie who can’t be trusted.

      • Mojeaux

        Ditto.

      • Rhywun

        She’s watching someone eat their broccoli.

      • Rhywun

        … who didn’t want to.

        Well, that’s goes without saying.

      • Viking1865

        It was probably the moment her husband was elected President and thus the first time in her life she was proud of her country.

  27. Pope Jimbo

    I’m spite posting this story about the terrible times that have befallen Minnesoda govts. Now that I’m infuriated, why shouldn’t Tundra have to be afflicted as well? Of course, he’s more libertarian than me, so he is probably heartless and immune to the pleas of Minnesoda cities who are asking Congress to send them MOAR money because times are tough.

    But even with the CARES Act funding at the state level, Walz said his administration has begun to cut spending.

    “We’ve done hiring freezes. My staff and all commissioners took a 10 percent cut when this started,” he said. “But layoffs are counterproductive, at least in the short term, because paying severance and sick time would eat up savings.”

    He said the state has asked some employees to take leave and is not hiring for vacancies in non-essential jobs. But he said many departments — revenue, natural resources, economic development and employment security for example — are “as busy as they ever are.”

    A FREEZE!!!! How dare Congress not send them more money so they can continue to keep the rubes locked up AND grow govt.

    • Tonio

      Governors shut that shiznat down, then governors can pay for it.

    • Fourscore

      “not hiring for vacancies in non-essential jobs”

      I was sort of looking forward to one of those jobs, like sitting by the boat landing with a good book and no cars at the boat landing. Hell, I do it for $15 @ hour, though I’m worth more.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Sorry Fourscore. If the cute young lady who was working the boat landing yesterday is who you are competing against, you are screwed.

        I might be in love. Not only did she not really care about doing her phony baloney job (cursory glance at my boat and a few questions), but she actually sort of yelled at a yahoo to move his rig out of the way so other people could launch. I would have totes been in love if she had actually beaten the guy (he’d decided to park right in the one exit to the ramp while he moved stuff from his boat back into his car instead of pulling across the street to do that like everyone else does).

      • Fourscore

        Oh-oh, looks like some tough competition this year. Its ’cause the CV and the high unemployment that made those potential baristas to seek an outdoor adventure job. Story of my life.

    • Tundra

      I’m heartless.

      Fuck you, cities. Recall this silly cunt governor, open up immediately and you won’t need to beg.

      Assholes.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Regarding Mojeaux’s question, and combining it with the Air BnB news, there could be a significant transition from vacay rentals to long terms. Which might bring rents down a bit.

    Maybe.

    I know there is a lot of animosity regionally about vacation rentals wiping out places for locals to rent.

    • Brett L

      I know last week when I was in N. Florida, the Gulf-adjacent counties were begging to be allowed to rent again. I am kind of happy that the people who built the ginormous rental next to my parents’ place (look at me, the absentee townie) were using it as an escape from… Nashville? I think Nashville. But one of the grandparents lived local. Anyhow, they seemed nice and I have a name to use when I need to complain about people still parking in our driveway.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      We had some AirBnBs reserved for our vacation. Three have canceled on us so far, one of which cited is decision to rent out the place as a long term rental.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    But even with the CARES Act funding at the state level, Walz said his administration has begun to cut spending.

    The horror.

    The HORROR.

    • Mojeaux

      I hope that child’s middle name is not Dawn.

      • Brett L

        Delta Dawn, Delta Dawn, what’s that diaper you have on…

      • BakedPenguin

        Could it be a used nappie from days gone by?
        And did I hear you say, he’d come for you today
        And take to his commode in the sky?

  30. Rebel Scum

    Word.

    Though Paul and Biggs respect Dr. Fauci’s expertise on infectious diseases and his medial opinions, the pair were severely critical of Fauci for crafting his entire COVID-19 strategy off of flimsy models that turned out to be false, such as the U.K. Imperial College model from disgraced professor Neil Ferguson that warned of 2.2 million deaths in the United States with no mitigation.

    “Fauci and company have relied on models that were later found to be deficient,” the op-ed states. “He even has suggested that he can’t rely on any of the models, especially if the underlying assumptions are wrong. Yet, Fauci persists in advocating policies that have emasculated the medical care system and ruined the economy.

    • R C Dean

      The thing about the Ferguson/Imperial College model is that it was refuted in less than a week by Oxford.

      You would think that any competent infectious disease/public health expert would know Ferguson had a long history of crap pandemic models that were always, always high by at least an order of magnitude. You would think such an expert would be interested in Oxford’s refutation of that model.

      So, either Fauci et al aren’t competent, or they had some other agenda in mind. I see no third alternative.

      • BakedPenguin

        3) Alex Jones-ian Alex Jones libertarian types are flummoxed into refusing to accept obvious bullshit due to their Alex Jones-ian conditioning regarding obvious bullshit.

  31. R C Dean

    Its Friday for me, because we’re on a fucking 20% unpaid furlough due to the ‘Rona panic, and Friday is my day to be unemployed.

    • Count Potato

      You get the long weekend though.

    • Pope Jimbo

      If it makes you feel better our Gov (and his aides) had to take a 10% pay cut. That is how severe the hardships are here.

      • Sean

        Decimated his pay!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Twice!

      • DEG

        Gauleiterin Whitmer graciously and magnanimously deigned to take a 10% pay cut so that she could feel the pain Michiganders feel.

      • UnCivilServant

        She should instead opt to be locked in a small box for several months.

        A jail cell fits the bill.

      • UnCivilServant

        Oh, and lose her job to boot.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      So elegant. Just like the finest lampshade from Santa Monica.

    • bacon-magic

      That looks like an ugly lampshade covering a linebacker.

    • Rhywun

      OMG.

      • Mojeaux

        Right?!

      • BakedPenguin

        You were right above, Mojeaux – she should have stuck to Empire dresses in light purple.

      • Mojeaux

        Heavily tailored dresses with a bunch of princess seams or bias-cut body-clingers make her look like she has curves.

        She has to be careful about purple too. It must be just the right shade.

        The other thing I noticed about Michelle is her tendency toward frumpy dresses. Shirtwaists on her are an abomination. The more gathers in the waist, the dumpier she looks.

        Sadly, with her body type, she has few choices of shape. With her skin tone, she has few choices with color. With her hair type, she shouldn’t be wearing helmet hairdos. This is why God invented accessories.

    • Count Potato

      That’s a man, baby.

    • Tonio

      It’s like something a drag queen would wear. I wonder if she uses a costumier specializing in that market. They are used to dressing big girls.

      • Mojeaux

        She could’ve hired Adele’s dresser or Aretha Franklin’s, and both of them were much bigger than Mooch.

        Mooch is truly thick, though. Trending heavy, no curves, a bit of a poochy belly (not required for thickness). Aretha and Adele had curves even at their heaviest, though.

        The pic of her in the peplum’d peacoat was perfect for her. She could have pulled off a sheath dress, but hold the neon and the chandelier embellishments. I found one pic of her in a fitted sleeveless dress with a peplum around her lower calves. That looked good. Color wasn’t quite right but it wasn’t awful.

      • Mojeaux

        My bad. Just below her knees. Cut and tailoring are good (not good enough; her boobs look a little droopy). Color is okay (not okay enough to put her in the next level). But the seams make her look like she’s got a little curve and the peplum is the focus, which accentuates her legs.

      • Mojeaux

        ???

      • Mojeaux

        Well, other than the fact that she didn’t tuck her dick, that dress was a good cut for her.

  32. Ozymandias

    Well, we’ll see how much coverage this gets.

    A federal appeals court on Thursday directed the judge hearing the case against former national security adviser Michael Flynn to respond to a petition by Flynn for the charges against him to be thrown out.

    I believe I correctly called out a writ of mandamus for $500, Alex. The DC Cir Court of Appeals ordered Sullivan to respond by 1 June. Yikes.

    • Ted S.

      Flynn should get justice as quickly as the OR governor.

      • Ozymandias

        That’s a pretty quick turnaround. She probably filed it on Tuesday and she’s got the appeals court ordering the judge to respond before his own Jun 10 deadline for the prosecutor-judge he assigned. I suspect that hearing will never occur – they’re going to get his response and within a few days issue a bitch-slapping, I should hope. At least, that’s what it seems like. After the SCOTUS smackdown of the 9th Circuit, there’s a pretty good argument to be made that what Sullivan did specifically contravened that very recent (unanimous) and specific decision about the role of courts and appearing to take sides. I believe Sullivan may suddenly find himself on the wrong end of a professional upbraiding for everyone to see and hear. I’m really really curious to read that opinion when it comes down. That’s the one that matters.

    • Pope Jimbo

      In a just world, the judge would have been facing impeachment charges in Congress the second he decided to appoint an outside lawyer to act as a private prosecutor. When it was discovered that of all the people he could have picked for that, the judge chose a buddy who had just written an Op-Ed bemoaning the fact that Flynn wasn’t going to be rail roaded, Congress should have dispensed with any investigation and had a simple voice vote on removing him.

    • Tonio

      Writ of mandamus for the WIN, Ozy.

  33. The Late P Brooks

    Just for laughs, I looked on Alibris for first editions of Grendel by John Gardner. Unsigned very good copy ~500 bucks. Let’s hope so.

    • Fourscore

      Isn’t that the asking price? Selling price may be different. Buyer determines the price.

  34. Winston

    https://www.aier.org/article/pandemics-and-the-liberal-path/

    Billions of people were suddenly forced into house arrest, government decided what was essential and nonessential, and gatherings of people were regulated to an extreme extent.

    Thus do we live with the catastrophic results. It’s not a great depression. It’s a great suppression. Government set out one day suddenly to demolish the very foundations of liberal modernity. And they achieved this with certainty.

    ….

    What is needed now more than ever is an immediate restoration of free trade, free enterprise, freedom of movement, commercial rights, and human rights. It’s a hard truth for governments to admit right now but they have failed all over the world. They need to admit it and leave us alone to restore prosperity and health.

    This is my cocaine…

    And now we are hearing from pundits that the pandemic somehow shows the failure of liberalism.

    ….

    Perhaps the claim that liberalism has failed is based on the belief that a free society cannot deal with pandemics.

    ….

    This is not the fault of liberalism.

    The fact most self-described “liberals” seem to support these shutdowns and relish the spending and statism it had unleased does not help to refute the claims that “liberalism” failed.

    It is time to look again at the foundations of modernity and human rights and once again believe in them and practice them.

    I find these comments about “modernity” interesting considering that he has clearly shown that we are the victim of a Terrible Modern New Idea.

    And the notion that of “believing” and “practicing” is interesting since how exactly is that supposed to happen and why will future people keep doing it?

    • Heroic Mulatto

      I find these comments about “modernity” interesting considering that he has clearly shown that we are the victim of a Terrible Modern New Idea.

      I disagree. The “models” and the actions done in their name are just old wine in new bottles; the old wine being the reactionary impulse to return to feudalistic and paternalistic autarky in blaming the spread of disease on freedom of movement and trade, individual freedom over communal mores, and a cosmopolitan populace over homogeneity in ethnicity and culture.

      • Florida Man

        Mind your turnips, SERFTARD!

      • Suthenboy

        What HM said.

        I find myself getting very angry after looking at the news for more than ten seconds. I suppose I have little to complain about as my state has taken a softer approach to this than many others. My life hasn’t changed one bit.

        I was at the grocery store this morning. I mentioned to the clerk that the toilet paper is wiped out again. He said “yep. There is a resurgence in toilet paper hoarding.”
        What the hell is that? The zombie apocalypse finally arrives and the first thing everyone thinks is ‘Do I have enough toilet paper?’. I gotta say I am starting to root for the commie cooties.

      • Winston

        Well that’s the problem. We were supposed to have learned from the awful ideas of the past instead of bringing them back under a new coat of paint while realizing the good ideas of the past and keeping them.

  35. The Late P Brooks

    Death cultists!

    Vice President Mike Pence did something Wednesday that most Americans haven’t done in many weeks amid the coronavirus pandemic: He sat down for lunch at a burger joint.

    The vice president held a photo op at Beth’s Burger Bar in Florida along with GOP Gov. Ron DeSantis to highlight efforts to allow restaurants in the state to begin reopening for limited, in-person service.

    Pence ordered a cheeseburger.

    “Load it up,” Pence told owner Beth Steele when she asked what toppings he’d like on his burger.

    Neither the vice president, nor Steele, nor DeSantis, or many others nearby, wore masks.

    “You all starting to get busy?” the vice president said to the staff in the kitchen, who were also not wearing masks.

    Oh

    my

    GOD!!!!

    • Pope Jimbo

      Oh

      my

      GOD!!!!

      That’s right. Pence don’t need no mask because the Big Guy is looking out for him.

      • commodious spittoon

        Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson?

      • Pope Jimbo

        I’m sorry, I don’t speak jive…

      • Tres Cool

        cold gots to be!

      • KSuellington

        Smack em, jack em!

      • The Hyperbole

        Smack ’em, yak ’em.

    • Tres Cool

      This is what gets me about the Karens in the media, or Karens in general- you have hundreds of people going to state capitals (generally armed) to protest what they think is unfair, and the Karens only take from it is “ERMAGERD! NO MASKS! THEY WERENT SOCIALLY DISTANCED!”

      Honey, you have armed men in your capital cause they’re pissed. There’s a bigger issue at play.

      • The Hyperbole

        you have armed men in your capital cause they’re pissed larping.*

        *not the protesters in genreral just the ones playing G.I. Joe.

      • Tres Cool

        I didnt mean the police

      • The Hyperbole

        Also why point out the armed “men” can’t women go all tacticool Tammy? Sexist pig!

      • Tres Cool

        b0bs get in the way of plates. I was being ‘gender-sensitive’ to womyn, you un-woke Chad

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        What does their hairstyle have to do with it?

      • Mojeaux

        LOL I read that as Bug-Out Bags.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        It’s not the bobs that are the problem but the vegana.

      • The Hyperbole

        Gives Tres a break he’s from western Ohio, they aren’t quite right over there. They put cinnamon coney sauce on spaghetti FFS.

      • Don Escaped Australians

        Boobs totes don’t matter: chicks can do anything.

        CBS golf commentator Ben Wright may have hooked his career into the woods by saying lesbians are turning the women’s pro tour into a “butch game″ and their breasts interfere with their swing.
        Boobs totes don’t matter: chicks can do anything.

      • Suthenboy

        Uhhh….since when has women’s golf not been a lesbian game? When was this guy born?

        And who is against boobs? I happen to be a big fan of boobs….not Q style, size doesnt matter that much to me. I just like females in general but especially boobs.

      • Raven Nation

        Marge: So, Veronica, what do you do?

        Veronica: I’m a pro golfer.

        Marge (under her breath): no surprise there

      • Pope Jimbo

        Lesbians in pro golf?

        FAKE NEWS

    • Fourscore

      “Load it up”

      /checks with DEG for Load it Up criteria

      • DEG

        Need more info on the burger and what is available.

  36. The Late P Brooks

    The vice president paid with cash, handed the money to Steele and requesting that she put the change in the tips jar.

    Why didn’t he just borrow a pistol from one of the SS guys and shoot her in the face?

    • Ozymandias

      LOL.
      This place really is the best.

  37. R C Dean

    How many could have been avoided by not sending COVID survivors to convalesce in nursing homes?

    Make that actively infected COVID patients, and you have a point.

    Make that former COVID patients who have been medically cleared (typically by two consecutive negative tests) and sent to competently run nursing homes, and the answer of how many could have been avoided is “close to zero”.

    You take someone who needs nursing home care, but not hospital care, and you leave in a hospital indefinitely, they will very likely do worse than in a nursing home. Because hospitals are very stressful environments, and there is a non-zero chance that they will catch something else while cooped up on a hospital room. Let’s be clear here – banning a nursing home patient who used to be infected with the ‘Rona from ever going into a nursing home again means they will never leave the hospital. Period. Ever. That would be a good way to get to the elusive hospital capacity crisis. As a bonus, since hospitals aren’t paid per diem, the months or years the patient is living in the hospital are a deadweight loss to the hospital. Since hospitals are already being financially gutted, piling on those losses would be Not Helpful.

    • Gustave Lytton

      I’ve been thinking about this also, and it goes back to infection control, or the lack thereof in many/most assisted care facilities.

      Even at worse accepting discharged patients without a test shouldn’t cause a facility wide outbreak, and poses the same threat as asymptomatic/presymptomatic staff/visitors. Or staff continuing to show up when knowingly sick. When the community prevalence starts hitting NY/NJ rates, it probably came from one of them as likely as a patient regardless of idiotic decrees. It was certainly spread in almost all cases by staff actions.

      Of course no one really expects them to actually practice sufficient infection control so that’s why there’s required TB tests (waived in my state now for the emergency!) and such.

    • Brochettaward

      I like her backtracking on defending MIlo. She didn’t realize it could be construed as racist to compare a black woman to a gorilla (even if it isn’t because it’s a black woman, per se, but just a real butchy ugly woman who does happen to look like a gorilla)?

      It still surprises me how accepted she is on the left. She basically took off after getting some attention on Buzzfeed and seemed to soften some of her positions, but she was basically on the same wavelength with Sargon there for a while.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        It still surprises me how accepted she is on the left.

        Simps gonna simp, bro.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Any relation to the boot on the head guy?

      • BakedPenguin

        Vermin Supreme rules all!

        And then doesn’t, because he’s a libertarian. For this voting cycle, anyway…

  38. The Late P Brooks

    MUZZLED!

    The nation’s top infectious disease expert, Dr. Anthony Fauci, has been conspicuously absent from national television interviews over the last two weeks, as the White House moves ahead with reopening the economy.

    Fauci, the head of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, last gave a television interview when he spoke to CNN anchor Chris Cuomo on May 4th.
    Prior to his recent absence from the airwaves, Fauci was regularly appearing on national news programs to update the American people on the country’s fight against the coronavirus.
    While Fauci has been on “modified quarantine” after possible exposure to the virus, he has still been present at the White House and testified remotely before the Senate last week.
    Fauci’s absence was particularly noteworthy this week, given the positive early results regarding a vaccine developed by the biotech company Moderna in partnership with the National Institutes of Health, which Fauci’s NIAID falls under.
    Despite the NIH’s role in helping to develop the vaccine, Fauci did not appear for interviews to discuss the promising results.
    Fauci was present at Trump’s “Operation Warp Speed” briefing last Friday, when the administration detailed a plan to roll out an eventual vaccine. He was wearing a mask and standing behind the President. But he didn’t make any comments, unlike at other briefings and events where he was front and center.

    He’ll be found dead in mysterious circumstances, next thing you know.

    • Ted S.

      And yet when Fauci is wrong, suddenly it’s “Trump’s CDC”.

    • Mad Scientist
  39. The Late P Brooks

    Isn’t that the asking price? Selling price may be different. Buyer determines the price.

    I’m not sure how much dickering is done there, and I’m not going to pretend there are dozens of people clamoring to take mine off my hands for that. But it’s a lot more encouraging than seeing asking prices of $29.95.

  40. Winston

    https://www.aier.org/article/the-intellectual-harm-of-safe-spaces/

    It is, as they note, an affront to the very telos of the university, which should ostensibly be the fearless pursuit of truth wherever it may lead and not the pursuit of intellectual and physical comfort.

    Citation needed.

    The policy of shielding people from challenges to their worldview and values is a recipe for creating a generation of depressed, anxious neurotics who lack the ability to confront and address meaningful challenges.

    Some might say that is intentional.

  41. The Late P Brooks

    And in recent weeks, the White House has refocused its message on reopening the country amid the economic havoc wreaked by the virus.

    Lemme help you with that.

    economic havoc caused by a needless hysterical overreaction on the part of governors based on abysmally (criminally!) wrong “models”.

  42. Shpip

    Things are getting back to normal at my alma mater.

    There was a hilarious college football blog called Every Day Should Be Saturday (the writers pulled the plug after fifteen or so years last summer) that had a “competition” based on off-season tally of arrests per school. It was known as the Fulmer Cup.

    Back in the day, Urban Meyer-era Florida, UGA, and Tennessee vied for supremacy every year, but there was always some upstart from the midwest or Texas that would surprise you.

    • Don Escaped Australians

      arrests? pshaw: only obvious murder counts; the rest are hucksters

  43. Ownbestenemy

    Even our local Nextdoor Karens are getting shouted down for posting “violations” they see….turning of the corner?

    • prolefeed

      I literally have a next door neighbor who is named Karen. She is not welcome at Chez Prolefeed.

  44. Hyperion

    So, I have a little bit of information that I will report as a faithful Glib.

    It seems that the left’s massive army of Karens was not as popular of an idea as they thought it would be.

    At my main client’s org and several others apparently from people I’ve spoken to about this, the testing and tracing everyone has met with little enthusiasm and a lot of negativity. Seems that people, even at far left leaning organizations, are bulking hard at their privacy being completely eviscerated.

    So, what I am seeing is that we’ve went from TEST AND TRACE EVERYONE ALL THE TIME to, basically, test some employees who are showing symptoms and contact trace, only with their permission, if they test positive.

    They ain’t getting their pony. Karens hardest hit.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The contact tracing will immediately morph into a national database of everywhere you’ve been and used for all sorts of purposes from law enforcement to taxation.

      No, fuck no, no fucking way

    • Sean

      Good.

    • Lady Z

      Karens only Karen when they have what they think is a majority backing them up. Once they are outnumbered they mysteriously shut the fuck up.

      • UnCivilServant

        Or when the police eject them from the store for tresspassing after the manager has asked them to leave.

    • Brochettaward

      At least when the Roman Republic died they had guys like Cato around.

      • Gustave Lytton

        And Horace.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Cicero

      • leon

        Not everyone can be a Juvenile

    • Rebel Scum

      I call her “Horizontal Harris”.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I love James Woods. I wonder how long it’ll be before he’s kicked off of Twitter for good.

  45. commodious spittoon

    I am very much looking forward to the media hysterics over virus abruptly shifting to hysterics over the economy, with Fredo Cuomo et al. very ostentatiously pretending it was their principle concern all along.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Now that they’ve forced a recession, it can finally be “Trump’s economy.”

      • UnCivilServant

        That will just help it to recover faster.

    • BakedPenguin

      “Fredo Cuomo”

      Which Cuomo is that? It looks like they’re Fredos all the way down. If The Godfather was based on them, Godfather 2 would have been 1hr 15 minutes long, and there never would’ve been a Godfather 3.

      Hmmm. Come to think of it…

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, the TV anchor one throws more temper tantrums of the sort the character was known for, so it was more apt a descriptor in his case.

  46. Gustave Lytton

    Another day of doing my part for climate change by burning yard waste. Aka drink beer, eat hot dogs, and read Glibs. Very successful in spite of the rain. Tomorrow will have to pull out the power equipment for more stuff.

    • hayeksplosives

      It was in the high 70s here. Still pretty warm and sunny (it’s only 4:45).

      Makes WFH challenging.

  47. Nephilium

    Another lawsuit filed against the shutdown orders in Ohio. This one by the jukebox, pinball machine and arcade game companies. The really interesting part of the complaint is pointing out that the Ohio state lottery kiosks are allowed to operate, and that old people generally won’t be playing bar games.

      • Nephilium

        There’s been two other lawsuits. One from a bridal shop in Columbus, which got tossed by a Federal judge. One from a group of gym owners in Lake County (East side of Cleveland), which got an injunction from the judge meaning that the gyms could reopen immediately (they were scheduled to be open on the 26th). No word yet if there was going to be an appeal yet. Those two cases were both launched by the 1851 Center for Constitutional Law.

      • UnCivilServant

        Ohio has a constitution? And it doesn’t say the governer is an absolute monarch? Has DeWine seen this?

      • Suthenboy

        I think we are at or very near the point where it doesnt matter what they say.

    • Viking1865

      Governor Coonman’s new order regarding the beaches bans people from playing music. I hope someone files a lawsuit on that, I want to hear whatever proggie carpetbagging scumbag lawyer is on deck to argue that loudspeakers spread the Kung Flu.

      • Suthenboy

        Didnt NYC ban dancing a while back?

      • Rebel Scum

        And no alcohol or “large” coolers. And I think it is on Virginia Beach to be “opened”. I do hope people ignore that arbitrary, tyrannical horseshit. If I had any inclination to go to VB I would ignore this shit very openly.

    • Rebel Scum

      We have a tiered govt for a reason. The states can declare fed actions unconstitutional and vice versa (I read once of a time before the war between the states that a state taxed and booted a federal bank from the state. I forget which one.) Trump could go on a media blitz about the constitutional illegality of these governors actions and make some Trumpian legal threats.

  48. hayeksplosives

    When we were in week 3 and beginning to realize that the covid19 orders were going to span months, I said I’d use the Daily Mail method for predicting the end to the panic.

    “When the Daily Mail runs a top main story that is NOT Covid related, the quarantines will last 2 more weeks tops.”

    The first day that they ran a non-covid story as top was Tuesday. So we will see if Daily Mail as predictor for limits of avg human patience pans out.

  49. westernsloper

    according to a new Columbia University model….

    Yaaa shurrrre yuuu betcha. I am calling all models bullshit from this point forward in my life.

    • Sean

      And polls. Uncut bullshit both.

    • UnCivilServant

      But in this one we used 100% polished giraffe shit.

  50. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

    Grrrrrrr. “Pissed Off” doesn’t really do justice to what I’m feeling right now.

    Plumber fucked up the final water test required to sell the house. Then they fucked up the fix of the fuck up, causing us to have to delay closing. Despite all of their promises, we didn’t have the results at 4pm as promised.

    Shortly after all that happened, I got a text from a coworker that the company just announced an across the board paycut for the next 4 months

    Add to that a deep cat bite from when I tried to console my panicking cat and keep him from bailing out of the car at 70mph in bumfuck Virginia.

    Oh, and my “everything has strings attached, and you never know when I’ll pull those strings” father in law has started pulling on the strings attached to helping us move to TX. We had the “we expect to have more facetime now that youre local” conversation today.

    I feel bad for snapping at the 3 year old. She has been cooped up in the car all day. At this point, my fuse is an innie, not an outie.

    Basically me

    • DEG

      Sorry.

    • Viking1865

      “We had the “we expect to have more facetime now that youre local” conversation today.”

      That’s such a shitty thing to say. How about “We’re really looking forward to seeing more of ya’ll in the future.”

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      Look after that bite! Do you have amoxicillin? If not, consider urgent care.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        So far so good on the bite. I cleaned it out immediately, hit it with alcohol and neosporin. It’s a bit swollen, but not concerning so, and the wounds don’t look too bad.