Blue and Green

by | May 18, 2020 | Advice | 278 comments

Blue and Green,

Riverine dreams,

And thoughts I cannot forget,

the drugs I do don’t help,

Realities escape is fine, 

But the end can’t be pleasant,

Sand shifts underfoot and the current is strong,

Things flow away,

Like petals in a stream,

What is left behind,

And what still confronts us,

Is but an illusion,

While we wait,

I wake before dawn,

To the clear light,

And seek serenity,

Or maybe oblivion,

Either works for the sunlight fades,

Broken and lost,

As I rage against the dying light,

Is any of this worth it now,

Or a sad waste of time,

Play to forget,

And buy some time,

Hope for help,

But ultimately,

We are alone,

Summer twists in the future,

Heat, wind and money,

If you work for it,

But that won’t help,

Blue and Green is the River,

Peaceful and calm,

Misery floats away,

In a warm wind,

 

About The Author

Yusef drives a Kia

Yusef drives a Kia

Punctually illiterate But never late

278 Comments

  1. blackjack

    What about that chick from Nantucket? I heard she digs boats!

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Water makes de Riddims Mon! Picture a hot local blonde, whatcha gon do?
      Irie

    • blackjack

      Oh, and first! On topic-ish and everything!

  2. Hyperion

    What about the great catfish wars on bends in the Ohio east of Cincy?

  3. DEG

    Blue and Green?

    The lass in your picture from the last post was in a blue bikini. Did she have green eyes too?

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Water green, and a pretty lass she is, I shall meet her again, maybe 40,

      • Q Continuum

        Tap that ass boyeeeee!

      • DEG

        Excellent.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I figured she would like Casey, but I’m a good looking, funny old Blonde guy, who knew?

      • DEG

        good looking, funny

        Bingo.

      • Florida Man

        Wanna Fud?

      • Fourscore

        ” good looking, funny old Blonde guy”

        1 outta 5
        2 outta 5
        3? 4?

        After the old part you’re on your own, Yusef

        OK, maybe the guy part, now we’re up to 2

  4. Mojeaux

    Equal parts despondent and peaceful. I so relate.

    Thanks, Yusef!

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      TBH, it’s mostly about the impending economic collapse, and how I choose to approach it, now read it and see what you think,
      thanks Mo!

      • Mojeaux

        Doesn’t really change my reading, since we’re all gonna end up in the dirt anyway.

        What I see in your poem are those crystal clear Yellowstone streams and rivers, and the Elk River I did a canoe trip down once, and the calm parts of the Snake River, and the stream I went trout fishing in up in Provo Canyon by Sundance, on lovely days feeling like a regular old animal and just being in the moment.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Agreed, a peaceful float makes the BS go away real fast, the worries never really leave, but you can forget for a while,
        Peace my sister!

    • Tonio

      Well-put, Mojeaux.

      Thanks, Yusef.

      • straffinrun

        BTW, Tonio, thank you for your tips on posting articles. I just saw it and it’s great.

      • Mojeaux

        ?

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      1, 11, needs MOAR Redheads, some spicy gals though…

  5. blackjack

    Now, we have to have river songs.

    • Sean

      ?

    • blackjack

      OK then how about this?

    • blackjack

      Chick song?

      • pistoffnick

        Damnit! beat not only by Yusef but also by blackjack

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Great minds…………..

      • Don Escaped Australians

        NewWife and I visit Johnny Mercer’s grave every Christmas Day

    • blackjack

      River-ish?

      • pistoffnick

        I commend you on your good taste.

        “A drunkard’s dream if I ever did see one”.

        “I swore, as I took another pour, my Bessie can’t be beat.”

      • blackjack

        A true classic, for sure!

    • blackjack

      Now we’re getting somewhere!

      • blackjack

        Even better!

    • blackjack

      Can I thank everyone for not posting you-know-what-song?

      • Florida Man

        Roll in’ on the river?

      • blackjack

        No, the new wave one.

      • blackjack

        Hint, it’s the upper most part of person and it talks.

      • Florida Man

        I’m confused and aroused by this clue.

      • blackjack

        Don’t be. It’s that Talking Heads song that ought to be the first choice, but gratefully was not.

      • pistoffnick

        I hate that song, both the Tina Turner version and the CCR version

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I sang Tina’s part in that song, and yes, I rocked the fuck out of it,

      • blackjack

        It’s a stretch, but I like it, so I’ll accept it.

    • Florida Man

      Did anybody do Willy’s whiskey River?

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Thank you, I’m developing a style, maybe…..

  6. Raven Nation

    Top Notch effort, Yusef!

    ?

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      / takes a humble bow…

    • blackjack

      It was. I imagined it poetry slam style, with the awkward pauses and then screaming. It really helped.

    • Trigger Hippie

      ‘Top 5 all-time comedy.’

      *flat stare*

      • Crusty Juggler

        lol check out the libtard

    • Crusty Juggler

      MacGruber’s ludicrousness is what makes it unique. But the movie works only because its supporting cast occasionally makes it believable—or at least semi-believable. “We wanted to fill it out with people who had gravitas,” Forte says. “I mean, you do not get much more gravitas than Powers Boothe.” In the scene where MacGruber offers to perform sex acts on Faith to save his job, Taccone had a conversation with Boothe about how to respond. Taccone recalls him asking, “Am I Leslie Nielsen in Airplane!?” The director instructed him to play his reaction even straighter than that: “Powers sold the shit out of that.”

      Forte called Phillippe’s part “one of the most important roles in the movie because he’s basically the audience. Like, ‘Oh my God, I can’t believe I’m with these dumbasses.’” When MacGruber tells the story of why Cunth killed his wife, Casey—a revenge killing after MacGruber stole expecting mother Casey away from Cunth and then asked her to terminate the pregnancy so they could “start fresh”—Piper looks like he’s going to be sick.

      Legendary

      • Tres Cool

        A bit too self-serving. Ill pass.

        And it wasnt that funny.

  7. Crusty Juggler

    Mark Normand and Sam Morril both have free comedy specials on YouTube and they are both the bomb diggity sweet tits, so if you’re in the mood check out them mugs.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      as watercolors melt in the warm spring rain……
      Who am I kidding? it doesn’t rain here,
      Oil portraits melting in the hot spring morning,
      /better

      • R C Dean

        Monsoon coming.

        Actually, I don’t know how much of a monsoon you get there.

  8. Crusty Juggler

    I’m so sex-starved I feel like giving my father blowjob – Lady laments (video)

    A young Nigerian lady has revealed how she has been so sex-starved during the coronavirus-occasioned lockdown that the only thought that keeps coming to her mind is to suck her father’s penis while he is asleep.

    According to the young lady, she can hardly go a day without sucking a man’s penis, so the lockdown is seriously having a toll on her freedom.

    BUILD THE WALL

    • Sean

      Not clicking. Nope.

      I’m not having that in my browser history.

    • Florida Man

      It worked for Lot.

      • Digby something something Unclothed Intruder

        Ehh….wouldn’t say it “worked”.

    • blackjack

      Nigeria? Not Nantucket?

    • straffinrun

      It’s coming from inside the house.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      good call,

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I wouldn’t be caught dead in those clothes, Ho Lee Fuk!

      • Fourscore

        You found my lost ’70s wardrobe, thanks, ‘preciate that, Kinnath

      • kinnath

        First orchard article posts Thursday mid-day

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Yay! I’ll be there

      • Fourscore

        Thanks for the update

      • blackjack

        He has a hell farm?

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Poetry? that dog was poetry, I prose, or ramble, you choose,

    • Sean

      Wow.

    • Florida Man

      I’m concerned for the dogs long term health. That’s got to be hard on the back and joints. Awesome though.

  9. straffinrun

    Vermin Supreme during the Libertarian Debate (live now!).

    “I would end the wars alphabetically.” *Puts boot on head*

    • blackjack

      It’s easy!

    • westernsloper

      That song took me to a place. Haven’t heard it in a a few years.

    • Digby something something Unclothed Intruder

      About damned time someone put up some Tonic!

    • Grummun

      Bah. Pretend I haven’t f-ed that up and the anchor text reads “Blue Ruin / Green River”.

  10. hayeksplosives

    Good work, Yusef!

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Friends afar,
      yet near to me,
      Lonely,
      but never alone,
      I thank you

    • Florida Man

      Break Yo Self, Fool!
      – Loc Dawg

      • Tres Cool

        /adjusts avatar to mesh with FM

  11. LJW

    Just got my haircut for the first time in 2 months. Required to wear a mask. Pretty sure every customer and stylist was in agreeance that the masks were worthless. I considered drumming up support for everyone to remove them, but they were too afraid of big brother or Karen.

    • westernsloper

      My Barber I got the back ally cut from a few weeks ago was allowed to go back to the shop he rents space from last week. The owner of the shop closed it when Polisitler gave his edict. He is supposed to wear a mask but doesn’t and tells me none of the customers give a shit. They aren’t wearing them either.

      • blackjack

        I almost cut mine!

      • westernsloper

        That has to be most long haired hippy blues riffy song ever played. Thanks for taking me back there! Not that I ever had long hair. Blonde/ginger loose curled affros just look dumb.

  12. Shpip

    So while opining on Derpbook that mandatory masks were safetyness theater, one FOAF cited this as proof that we should all mask up.

    I countered with the lower infection and death rates in Indonesia and Bangladesh vs Japan, noting that the former have neither 21st century medical care nationwide, nor a culture of fastidious hygiene, and that they’re not wearing masks 24/7.

    Thoughts?

    • blackjack

      I got kicked off of Nextdoor for opining there on similar stuff. Apparently the party line is max fear all the time and shut up and obey. Lot of support from the people though.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Ah a model, we know those to be correct. Is it assuming the type of mask? Properly worn? Not ever touched and placed from home-shopping-home?

      • blackjack

        With a sterile room and an ante-room to delouse after every exit/entrance?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Exactly. I can appreciate a model but seriously….we are human and even under threat of the gun, will go outside of the set rules.

    • Urthona

      so clicked through to the study and it’s a summary of two models.

      pass.

      • blackjack

        So, a partial post by “Q?”

      • Urthona

        Honestly, the best way to study this would be to look at Americans. We have federalism and a smattering of different rules across but yet very similar lifestyle, culture and habits. We can easily compare places with strict mask compliance to places without.

        And we know exactly how that study would go.

      • blackjack

        Or, we can take a glance at Sweden, who, admittedly did a bit of heavy handed stuff too, and notice they are not number one in the world, despite not doing much. Then, we can recognize that the virus spread to all four corners of the world, AFTER we started with the lockdowns and the masks. If we did that, we’d have to conclude that the measures we are taking are not very effective. They sure gave the authoritarians a huge power boner though!

    • westernsloper

      I would counter with Indonesia and Bangledesh are getting warmer now due to geography in relation to the equator and it is warming there. (I am too lazy to confirm that) Any Covid bug is similar to the common cold which is a covid bug and they go away when it warms up. Just like this one will do.

    • Rhywun

      Thoughts?

      The tropical nations seem to be less affected in general. Weather?

    • blackjack

      The most sensible explanation I’ve heard is that there’s more than one strain. The bad one went to the hard hit places and we lucked out and got the good stuff. New York is more closely tied to Italy and Europe than the west coast.

      • westernsloper

        NYC people slobber all over each other on shitstained subways that they just decided to clean a few weeks ago. And the super genius Governor ordered active Vid patients into the old folks homes. NYC is its own pandemic caused by an idiot administration led my an evil super stupid idiot.

      • Tejicano

        It wouldn’t surprise me if Reichsfuhrer, er, I mean governor Cuomo sent positive covid cases back to old folks homes knowing it would get him the body count he needed to justify anything he did in reaction to this year’s flu season. Look at all the draconian measures taken and how Eff’ed the economy is going to be – had we only seen one tenth the number of deaths people would be less happy about this government over-reaction.

      • Lady Z

        This crossed my mind as well, I just couldn’t bring myself to say it. It’s just so disgusting.

      • Tejicano

        Definitely disgusting but when you think about who this virus kills and then think through all the reasons there might be to take this step (sending the old folks back) this one possible and thoroughly disgusting reason stands out. Most people would never imagine that Cuomo would do such a disgusting thing – and that’s great camouflage for him if he did.

      • blackjack

        Well, yeah, but this virus has it’s own path. The little molecules are hard to keep in place. I don’t for a minute think that all this abuse of power has helped anyone, anywhere. Conversely, I doubt that the ineptitude had much effect either. I think the molecules went where they wanted to, regardless of the well laid plans.

        I know the nursing home dictate was stupid, but not enough to justify the massive losses they had. It was the super high octane version that killed all of the Euro-weenies that pushed that number up so high, IMO.

      • westernsloper

        61% of deaths in CO are from nursing homes. The very first actual fucking thing we knew about this virus was it was deadly to the elderly with other issues. Polisitler demanded a plan of action from the long term care facilities on May 1. A month after he destroyed the states economy with his mythical powers. How god damned hard is it to secure a facility with a few doors in and a few doors out when it is common knowledge even to a college dropout on the westernslope who can only read through one eye because he is hammered when reading about this shit? I guarantee the same thing happened in Italy. They have successfully emptied a bunch of beds in old folks homes by letting them die. Granted those would have been emptied probably this year or next but I’ll be fucked if they can use that to destroy the economy and send us into a depression. Fuck them. Where are the articles of all the elderly in homes who passed away in Dec, Jan, and Feb in CA and the rest of the west? I got a crisp ten the numbers were climbing since Dec and peaked when they started testing for this fucking Chinese bullshit.

      • blackjack

        Agreed. This started way earlier than reported. I just think it did what it wanted and ignored all of our efforts.

      • westernsloper

        Oh ya, same page there. Any efforts where futile and pretty much just dumb.

    • grrizzly

      Almost all nations where the BCG vaccine is universal (Japan, China, Korea, Eastern Europe) are doing much better than the countries where it wasn’t (Western Europe + NA). It’s ridiculous to squeeze every difference into the lockdown paradigm. There are clearly other factors that are very important.

  13. creech

    The national media, and even the guy on Fox, was warning that Trump may kill himself with the hydroxychlorine shit. That’s strange: I thought they hated him, wanted him gone, and thus would be advising him to double or triple the dosage? Are they scared of Pence or something?

    • blackjack

      Once again because I like the song.

    • hayeksplosives

      They just want to be contrary to Trump. He’d tie their brains in knots if he announced that he supports Biden.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Isnt that what he did with other potentials? “I would love to run against “insert name”, they are great….”

      • Tejicano

        Biden is almost the perfect candidate, from the GOP’s point of view, to run against Trump. Creepy Joe only opens his mouth to change feet, he can’t use a metaphor without muddling its meaning, and he isn’t a protected female/minority so Trump doesn’t have to be too careful in how he replies to anything Biden says/does. Trump often screws up facts and has to occasional flub but more often than not he can hit a point dead-center in a single comment. I really wonder what the DNC is planning to do when it comes time for these two to debate on live TV.

  14. Crusty Juggler
    • Florida Man

      Not available. That kind of metal, I guess.

      • Crusty Juggler

        The most metal

        TW: you will get yourself another drink.

      • Florida Man

        I’m not sure why you would give a mental patient a whole bunch of clear plastic tubing.

    • blackjack

      That page was censored because of [redacted]

      • Tres Cool

        Sorry, this page isn’t available.

        The link you followed may be ██████, or the ██████ may have been removed. Go back to ██████.

  15. westernsloper

    Blue Diamond Almonds Bold/wasabi and soy sauce variety are like crack. I am going to be shitting spicy almond butter tomorrow morning.

    • Tres Cool

      spray & pray

    • pistoffnick

      “wasabi and soy sauce variety”

      Also my favorite.

  16. straffinrun

    Some guy came up me right now as I sit in the coffee shop. He tries to hand me a glass of water. “Water please. Water please”. No, he doesn’t work here. If he promised this would end in rape, I would’ve accepted it.

    • blackjack

      End times can get weird!

      • straffinrun

        My brother asked me the other if I thought it could possibly be the end times. It’d be a fucked up God to give someone like me that inside information.

      • blackjack

        Well, you had a 50/50 shot, either way.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Funny you should say that, the missus raised the possibility when this whole thing started.

      • straffinrun

        “He’ll come like a thief in the night. Or like plain clothes cops on a no knock raid. Better think before you pull your trigger.”

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        those who don’t accept the Mark will be closed to jobs and business

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Oh, i meant the vaccine, sorry

      • Tres Cool

        “My brother asked me the other if I thought it could possibly be the end times.”

        Mine said, “you still owe me a lot of money”

      • l0b0t

        I had an E4 in my unit who would start spouting end times biblical numerology and get the boots all worked up when we were in the field. He smoked the crack rock and once burnt his lips so badly that Top noticed in formation. He talked his way out of it by claiming “Aw shucks, Top. I was too drunk in the barracks and put the wrong end of a lit cee-gar in my mouth.” Good times.

    • Tejicano

      But if you accepted it wouldn’t really be rape.

  17. Yusef drives a Kia

    The ways of Gaijin are strange…….

    • dbleagle

      In a couple of hours I will wander to my beach and illegally sit and look toward the southern horizon. There I will see the subject of this song.

      Since I will have a flask with Hine cognac I will sip it and contemplate the words.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F3kImL2gDkI

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I knew without clicking! enjoy the wind………..
        /God’s gas

      • Tres Cool

        I knew too….

      • westernsloper

        You made my night. Enjoy the sit and know I envy. I hold hope to again someday.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        My thought is Westron,
        in vision,
        and the Gamboled,
        shall be be served,
        anytime……….

      • blackjack

        I feel like I had a vacation, just imagining that scene. Perfect soundtrack too. Thanks.

      • westernsloper

        I listened to that twice just because. I have been around the world. Actually a couple of times. I met many a woman girl. Just not one that believed love endured. Never saw the southern cross and never thought to ask someone to point it out to me. I might need another trip around the world. Third time is a charm.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        too late for me, but I have done plenty, now it’s chill time…
        /kinda

  18. Digby something something Unclothed Intruder

    Yu–I’m going to hang out here, waiting for…well, you know.

    Anyway, I have a couple of Hot Wheels/Matchbox car restoration guys that I follow on YT, simply because I love watching the process. I don’t know if this interests you, or anyone else here, but, check them out, if you like:

    Baremetal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_bp9QcL4xQ
    Diecast Graveyard: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ABrOAjLqqg

    Just a sample of what they do.

    • Tres Cool

      The best part of the matchbox tracks was taking that piece of PVC strip and whipping your older brother with it.

      • blackjack

        I got 8 stitches because MY brother used the one with the launcher blade on it.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        or my Dad, he was a Blackbelt hotwheel track whipper,

      • Tres Cool

        I was probably age 8 or so. I cant remember the reason why we were fighting, but my older brother left me on the floor, and while he was walking away I got him across the backs of his legs with a hotwheel strip. I made may point, but it only escalated things further.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        that shit hurts…..

      • Tres Cool

        Cute story about whipping (as if there ever is one).

        After Id married ex Mrs Tres, I learned from her brother the story about the “Vega Antenna”. Back in the 1980s, kids liked to hang out (as they’re wont to do-see also Happy Days), and ex-wife as a teen was kickin it in the local McD’s parking lot with her best friend. From the story I was told, her best friend’s boyfriend rolled up, they got in a fight, and he put some hands on her best friend. Ex-wife snapped the antenna off her chevy Vega and proceeded to whip the guy. In the face.
        I was told this by her brother, who said “I was at a party not to far away, and someone told me she was in a fight with the football team’s quaterback, so I left. And when I got there I felt sorry for the guy. He had bloody welts on his face where she whipped him. With A CAR ANTENNA.”
        He said, “we never got another antenna- the thing would only get AM. But a couple months later she ripped the back end out doing donuts in the KMart parking lot”

    • Gustave Lytton

      That is cool. I scraped all the paint off a car or two with a rock in my wee days because I thought it looked better.

      • Digby something something Unclothed Intruder

        When it came to cars, I was more a “make them” type. A 64-box of crayons, and you had a whole f’n car lot.

        /left the damn thing out in the rain.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Crayon in sun,
        melting colors on the ground,
        Brightly,

      • Digby something something Unclothed Intruder

        Oy, if only…

        Cut a chunk of the end of my left thumb off with a steak knife, trying to cut out an axle that was embedded too deeply in one of my Caster Creashunz. Still have a little skin nub on the thumb from where the skin re-attached.

        Good times!

      • Chafed

        You are the Tony Iommi of matchbox cars.

      • Digby something something Unclothed Intruder

        ………….Thanks?

      • Digby something something Unclothed Intruder

        Excellent choices, Tres. And, when has that ever been said of MV?

      • Chafed

        You hate us too?

    • Tres Cool

      …the comments are awesome tho

    • westernsloper

      Congratulations! Canada is finally number one in something! We have discussed this above. Infuriating. Biggest failures ever.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      DDDOOMEDD!!!111!!!!!! First the Moose, then the Elves……
      DDDDOOOOOMMMMEEEDDDD!!!!1!1111

    • blackjack

      Well, their hockey playing days were over anyway.

    • straffinrun

      We should ban anything that could possibly kill octogenarians.

  19. westernsloper

    I’m out. Thanks for the post Yusef.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Yarg!

  20. Yusef drives a Kia

    “We should ban anything that could possibly kill octogenarians.”
    I’m an optogenarian, I want to live long enough for them to find a cure for what kills me, that’s why I choose,
    Cylon! all machine, all the time!

  21. topnotchtoledo

    The words do don’t make sense. Even as the sun rises the light fades. Reference to drugs is are obligatory. Water and wind. And adiabatic rates. Angst. Angst. I’m 60. What us the reason? Spaceships and light. Death and detritus. Sediment. Hydrology and heat. Channels in the wind. Booze. Realities escapes is good. English are bad. Doing the bull dance feeling the flow. Working it. Working it.

    • Digby something something Unclothed Intruder

      Like clockwork.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I was waiting,
        howdy Digby!

      • Digby something something Unclothed Intruder

        HowDEE!

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Really? your just fucking with me at this point. The words make perfect sense in context,, you just just can’t handle a wild imagination, quit reading it if it freaks you out so much,

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      and, your drunk……

  22. Yusef drives a Kia

    Good night, thanks for playing…………….

    • Digby something something Unclothed Intruder

      Was that concise and coherent enough for ya, tnt?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I think it’s cute, someone hates my prose,
        /Bless his Heart

    • topnotchtoledo

      The problem is it’s terrible childish writing. It is repetitive and hits the same stupid themes every single time. Reference to drugs, space, sadness. It’s awful writing. I think your other posts about actual things are great, your poetry is pure shit. Poetry is for people who can’t write. Why dont you write more essays? They are good. Any retarded monkey can write shitty poetry. Write about what you know. Write about anything. Poetry is for people who like to smell their own farts. You have way more interesting stories from your real life. Write those.

      • topnotchtoledo

        What do you expect people to get out of the last post? Seriously. It’s just nonsense. What do you want people to think of it? What is the point? Why dont you put together an essay about what you are trying to get across instead of trying to be some artist? If you are sad write about that, if you are on drugs and they aren’t working anymore write about that. It’s way more engaging. What do you care about rivers or sunshine or whatever? Write about what you know.

      • CPRM

        He’s a lyricist. It is what he knows. Sure, if there were a dearth of articles these might not be featured, but I don’t see you writing articles for me to comment under.

      • CPRM

        Complaining for the sake,
        Because the world is fake,
        Under the yellow curtain,
        Death is only certain,
        I ate a P.B. and J.
        Farted in the hay,
        Complaining for your take,
        Because you baked the cake.

      • topnotchtoledo

        No one can argue it’s good writing. It terrible. I’m saying write a good essay that expresses the same feelings

      • Digby something something Unclothed Intruder

        No one can argue it’s good writing.

        Well, part of the problem here is that you aren’t making these…points, until almost everyone is gone, and unable to give you whatever counter-point you’re looking for.

        It seems plenty of commentors have said it’s good. While not being a poetry person myself, I think it’s rather nice. When I have been made to write poetry/prose for school projects some 30-40 years ago, I gave it my best effort, but still came up not liking what I wrote. As an adult, I can easily appreciate what Yusef has done.

        And, no–I’m not about to grab whatever text was mentioned in Dead Poets’ Society, and apply that matrix crap to determine if his poem is “good”.

      • Digby something something Unclothed Intruder

        Yeah, I’m getting the same vibe as others here–Can you show us on the doll where Maya Angelou and Robert Frost touched you?

        Look, if no one else addresses it, I definitely see that you are complementary of Yusef’s other offerings. Presuming they are genuine, it goes a long way towards indicating that these posts of yours are meant as a critique, as opposed to shitting on his efforts.

        But, let’s face it–you ARE shitting on his efforts, and not addressing him from any genuine standpoint of offering anything that might inspire “improvement”. I would be willing to bet that Yusef would be open to discussing your concerns/ideas/advice. Well, would have, prior to this scorched earth tactic you’ve taken.

        Also, Yusef, I don’t mean to speak for you, so much as give an educated guess about how you would react to that sort of thing.

        And, if this is some kind of meta-performance art thing, where you are trying to rile us up, because discord is a personal joy for you…A) please stop, and B) don’t expect a very favorable response from the owners/TPTB.

      • topnotchtoledo

        Do you like his poetry and do you think it expresses anything on value that I couldn’t write in 5 minutes? I would argue that Animals essays are a million times more interesting than someone jacking off on their keyboard. This poetry does not add anything to the conversation, that is my base argument

      • Digby something something Unclothed Intruder

        See above.

        Please do write up something! We can always use the content, and we have quite the range of interests and personalities.

        Also, what “conversation”?? We can have a conversation with or without anyone’s poetry. Or, essay. It’s just an opportunity for a fellow glib to be creative and give us something to read and reflect on. Whether we talk about it, or, just come together under (?) it, is incidental. Well, to me, it is.

        Just.–if you’re going to criticize it, why do it so thoughtlessly/harshly? Why do it in the open?

      • Tejicano

        “…do you think it expresses anything on value that I couldn’t write in 5 minutes?”

        Judging from your inordinately aggressive style so far and total lack of any real contribution here other than to vent your (worthless) opinion I would say that, yes, I do believe it expresses something “on value” (sic) better than you could write in 5 minutes.

      • CPRM

        Meh, I get critiquing the style in the way he says ‘write prose’, but then it’s all Don’t Tell Me What To Do Slaver! What it really comes down to is, we don’t have enough content providers most of the time, and some of the complainers aren’t willing to step up. I’ve had many a premise that I dropped because the audience didn’t seem to Grok it. Alls I got left right now is the cartoon out of the many I tried.

      • Digby something something Unclothed Intruder

        Hey now–I liked those interrogation tapes.

      • CPRM

        One fan does not a popular feature make.

      • Digby something something Unclothed Intruder

        Boo Hiss…Cater to my whims!!

        Also, I do and did like #4. Although, I’m now of the opinion (that I doubt anyone really shares) that a nostalgia series for TV shows, toys, foods, etc. would be fun, presuming there’s enough participation.

        Ergo, my doubt.

      • CPRM

        I think the problem is, even though we overlap a loot in knowledge, the readership of this site skews older. We don’t want to hear about that hoop they pushed down the road with a stick and they don’t want to hear about Transformers and GI Joes and everything we hold dear.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Repeat from last night

        https://youtu.be/_JTl6N7ZUjE

        Also, get off my lawn. I may not be Medicare eligible, but I can wear an onion on my belt.

      • CPRM

        Saw it last night, but if I can’t watch in order, I’m not not going to watch. *Pets Transformers DVD collection before passing out*

      • Digby something something Unclothed Intruder

        Damn right

      • Digby something something Unclothed Intruder

        That was for Gustave…although, the watching in order thing is appealing.

      • Gustave Lytton

        There’s only two seasons, really. Don’t know how they lasted as early morning repeats five days a week. It was on at some ungodly hour like 5:30 so hardly every watched them.

        Hmm… to track down Transformers now and see how they held up.

      • Festus

        Ahem, two fans.

      • CPRM

        Let me see. Regular features I tried:

        1. The Hat and The Hair Cartoon: SUCCESS
        2. The Trial of CPRM: Only Digby cared
        3. A Path to Wellness: Only Straiffnrun cared
        4. As Seen on TV: Nobody cared
        5. Explaining Constitutional Property Rights Minarchism: Nobody cared
        6. Redacted Recipes: people liked it, nut I ran out of recipes.

      • Gustave Lytton

        [REDACTED] was [REDACTED]. Two [REDACTED] [Michael Flynn] [REDACTED]!

      • Gustave Lytton

        And I still laugh when I see a ficus now.

  23. CPRM

    See if I can I can get some help to move furniture around tomorrow to swap out computers. (I’m switching computer desks as long as I’m redoing the setup). The person who would be in charge of making the decision about re-opening our business quit. So that’s all still in limbo. 3 days off after 2 days on after 2 weeks laid off.

    • Digby something something Unclothed Intruder

      Quit?? O-Kaaaay…. Well, enjoy the back-breaking physical labor of time off!

      • CPRM

        Yeah, gossip is they were appointed with a slim margin of support, and just said fuck it because they didn’t feel supported or some shit. So the whole business is like ‘uhhhhh’.

      • Digby something something Unclothed Intruder

        That’s hardly the way to run a xxxxxxxxx.

      • Digby something something Unclothed Intruder

        Well, didn’t work…

      • Digby something something Unclothed Intruder

        The spoiler tag didn’t work….or, it almost did.

  24. Digby something something Unclothed Intruder
    • Gustave Lytton

      *snicker*

    • CPRM

      Is that Ally Sheedy?!

      • Digby something something Unclothed Intruder

        I don’t think she’s held up that well. But, I now see what you mean…

    • leon

      Funny how fast those supreme Courts can act when it’s the government power being infringed. If you lose a right, it’ll be years before you get your day. If you’re the government and an upity court gets in your way, you can get heard that day.

      • The Hyperbole

        That’s not funny at all.

  25. l0b0t

    I’ve been watching the GI Joe livestream. It makes me want to cling to my comics and shed a tear for what Hasbro did to Larry Hama’s beautiful universe. Sigh…

  26. UnCivilServant

    GT – I have finally finished watching the 1966 Batman series, and after having contemplated the evidence, the answer to the Catwoman question is Lee Meriwether.

    • JD is in the United Karendom

      Racist.

      Mornin’ UCS.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’ve had a lovely evening of acid reflux and vomitting, made worse by the fact that all of the antacid options I have in the house (alka seltzer and baking soda) simply triggered more vomitting. And of course every god damn store is closed because of the panic and illegal orders until at least mid-morning.

      • JD is in the United Karendom

        🙁

        I’m sorry you’ve had a rough time. You got some sort of gastroenteritis perhaps?

      • UnCivilServant

        Stress eating + hot wings + overeating started this train moving.

      • JD is in the United Karendom

        Ah. That’ll do it. Feeling better now?

      • UnCivilServant

        No. I still need to do something about the acid reflux

      • Trigger Hippie

        I get acid reflux all the time. Not sure if there’s any scientific evidence behind it but a cup or two of plain yogurt seems to trigger enough of a placebo effect for me to at least make the worst of it go away.

      • UnCivilServant

        Afraid I don’t have any.

      • The Hyperbole

        According to an old late night infomercial you need to drink vinegar*.

        *I believe the quack offering this advice ended up being sued**

        **Not for this particular advice but for some other quackery

      • Gender Traitor

        Ugh! I can’t stand even the smell of vinegar. I’d rather pay for some expensive concoction to delime a coffee maker than brew up a pot of vinegar to accomplish the same thing.

      • Gender Traitor

        Oh, no! I’m so sorry! I hope you get some relief as soon as possible! : (

    • Gender Traitor

      Well, your answer sent me searching in IMDB, where I found:

      Contrary to popular belief, she never played Catwoman on the series Batman (1966). Only Julie Newmar and Eartha Kitt did. She did, however, play Catwoman in the movie Batman (1966) and later played another character in two episodes of the series.

      OK – checks out. I don’t remember ever seeing the movie, but I remember her name from later series (what IS the plural of “series”?) in which she appeared.

      Trade Mark (3)
      Natural auburn hair
      Light blue eyes
      Seductive deep voice

      DINGDINGDINGDING!!! We have a winner!

    • Festus

      Julie Newmar. Have you ever watched the film version of L’il Abner? I think my 12 year-old balls nearly exploded.

  27. JD is in the United Karendom

    Drugs falling out of my *, but I’ve not been on much so I was sitting on this for a couple days thinking someone else would have posted it or it would have made the links:

    A bolshevik video game!

    • Trigger Hippie

      The boss at level seven is a tough sonovabitch. It’s this virus that causes a plus four fright factor and makes your fellow Antifa members a bunch of cowering pussies too lazy and timid to fight actual fascism when it’s kicking them in the face.

      The only way to beat the boss is to go on a solo mission to retrieve the GatesVacPac and disperse it among your team….

      …it’s hidden behind the waterfall.

      • JD is in the United Karendom

        Marvellous.

  28. Festus

    Kudos to Yusef for his his Sand Siren!