WASHINGTON DC – “Universal Basic Income doesn’t go far enough. It’s high time we freed the American people from the tyranny of work”, said Rep. Cortez (D-NY). In response, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell said “this proposal is as absurd as it is irresponsible, and threatens to destroy America’s already weakened economy. I therefore propose lowering the retirement age to 21, and not a single day less.” Economists and other experts have cautioned that such a move may not be sustainable. According to Nobel Prize-winning economist Paul Krugman “look, I know I’ve been reliably carrying water for Team Blue for 30 years, but I can’t keep it up much longer. This idea isn’t just plain stupid; it’s stupid with sprinkles and whipped cream. My god, what have I done with my life? Just because I hate Republicans doesn’t mean I want retards in charge!” However, other experts disagree, noting that the proposal would reduce inequality, unemployment, and pollution, as well as increase diversity among retirees. “It’s all very simple,” explained Michael Moore. “Robots will do most of the work, and the rest will be done by criminals in Government Utility Labor Administration Groups.” Elon Musk has promised to build a fleet of robots to fill all menial jobs in exchange for a title of nobility. When informed that this is unconstitutional, Musk said “What?! Damn their oily hides! I already bought a golden, jewel-encrusted scepter. What am I supposed to do with it now? Pawn it? This outrage will not be soon forgotten.” Musk then slammed the hatch of his submarine and left for his underwater volcano lair.
Democrats Push to Lower Retirement Age to 18
About The Author
Derpetologist
The world's foremost authority on the science of stupidity, Professor Emeritus at Derpskatonic University, Editor of the Journal of Pure and Theoretical Derp,
Chancellor of the Royal Derp Society, and Senior Fellow at The Dipshit Doodlebug Institute for Advanced Idiocy
It’s a good effort, Derpy, but this is the worst apocalypse. Ever.
?
When you’re below the age of 26 are you still on your parents retirement?
Underwater volcano lair, awesome.
I know right!
File under ” we’re lame and out of ideas”:
https://deadline.com/2020/05/battlestar-galactica-michael-lesslie-showrunner-peacock-reboot-1202923668/
Fuck Peacock. Fuck that reboot of a reboot.*
*I did love the last reboot, but promise to hate the Peacock version with the intensity of a thousand suns.
Another remake of a remade sequel to a remake?
God no……
Oh fuck me.
So all style and no substance beyond a Guardian article.
The only thing the new(er) Battlestar Galactica had over the original was effects
wut
Flying Motorcycles
“The only thing…”
Plus Olmos > Bonanaza.
Those were terrible even for a campy show.
I see someone isn’t a Megaforce fan…
Or, is–I’m not sure which way that pushes the needle.
Tricia Helfer>Laurette Slang
Maren Jensen>Grace Park*
* Just barely. Close call.
I have no idea who Laurette Slang is. Grace Park is way better looking than that nonentity you compared her too.
Neverstick it in a toaster.Fine–you can have Grace, and I’ll take Maren
By your command.
Lol I forgot about that.
Frack that.
Show good. Finale sucked. Raping Dteve Smithās Ancestors at the end Was just weird.
“Government Utility Labor Administration Groups”
*applause*
*Joins in while rising to his feet*
Spells gulag.
Nothing gets past you!
š
Fail.
Derpy, you have written some great parodies in the past. Go back to parody, you have a real talent for it.
So your complaint is that this effort’s too realistic?
Tough crowd.
Itās a fine line.
Another excellent entry, Derp.
Bill Kristol is a tool.
https://twitchy.com/samj-3930/2020/05/05/nice-backfire-bro-bill-kristols-abraham-lincoln-trump-poll-inspires-so-many-hilarious-polls-and-all-at-his-expense/
Bill Kristol needs a perpetual nut punch.
You get the rope. I’ll get my wife’s hypervolt.
Paging Creosote. Creosote Achilles, please pick up the red courtesy phone.
/Sorry bruh; I’m just enjoying your postings as I winnow through the list.
The problem with that is, as with the bureaucrat in Ghostbusters (the ONLY version) – “it’s true, this man has no balls”.
Another part of reality I got foreknowledge on in a psychic wave from SF’s Master.
You had me thinking this was real until I read the Krugman bit.
Fake news: Krugman would totally get on board.
Fake news: Krugman would totally get a hard-on
board.FTFY.
Derpy, that was Fantastic, Gulags…….
āAs the weather heats up and the pandemic continues to unravel our social fabric, police officers should be allowed to focus on our core public safety mission,ā like choking guys to death for selling loosies.
https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/news/nyc-police-union-warns-city-will-fall-apart-if-police-have-to-continue-social-distancing-enforcement
“like choking guys to death for selling loosies.”
Or sending the cities entire fuzz squad to confront a girl in a storm trooper outfit with a plastic gun. Many brave, much heroes.
The NYPD has a unit dedicated solely to working with film/TV productions shoot around the city. They provide traffic coordination, set security, etc. They also liaise with the 911 system. Anytime a shoot involves prop firearms, the location will be placarded at the same time as all the parking restrictions so all the residents know that when they a see gun play (surrounded by an army of crew, lights, cameras, specialty trucks, etc.), it’s all pretend. It never works though; an avalanche of 911 calls accompany every single project. The TV & Film Unit folk spring into action to prevent the set getting swarmed by the usual assortment of trigger-happy sociopaths the city employs.
That’s some fine tax ‘n’ spend, Lou.
Look. I saw it in the Matrix so I know if will work!
British police – don’t understand irony, or have mastered it?
Nigel Farage Visited by Police Officers After Reporting on Illegal Boat Migrants
Brexit leader Nigel Farage was visited by police officers Monday, warning him to observe the āessential travelā rules after he reported on illegal boat migrants arriving in Dover.
Wait, I thought we were supposed to rat out everybody outside moving around? Can they make up their minds?
Not about illegals – sheesh, what kind of Karen are you? You only snitch on people for trivial shit.
Just because I hate Republicans doesnāt mean I want retards in charge!ā
Red, Blue, it is Government Retards, Rapists, Rapscallions, Enemies, Assholes and Thoughtlessness all the way down. And they are GRRREAT!!!!
Now I know this is satire…
Hold on to your butts…it’s about to get nuts.
Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg was hospitalized in Baltimore with an infection caused by a gallstone, the court announced Tuesday, adding that she’s expected to remain in the hospital for a “day or two.”
Ginsburg, 87, underwent non-surgical treatment for acute cholecystitis, a benign gallbladder condition, at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Maryland.
The justice underwent outpatient tests at Sibley Memorial Hospital in Washington, D.C. on Monday following oral arguments with the court, which confirmed that she had a gallstone blocking her cystic duct, resulting in an infection.
“The Justice is resting comfortably and plans to participate in the oral argument teleconference tomorrow morning remotely from the hospital,” the Supreme Court said in a statement.
*crosses fingers for some “best timeline” shit to happen*
Democrat heads exploding in the Senate? Harry Reid dragged back to DC and not just hung in effigy?
Huh. Non-surgical treatment for cholecystitis.
IANAD, but to me that says “hella stones” and “she’ll die if we operate”.
Set your countdown clocks, kiddies. Gall bladders don’t play.
Gall bladders donāt play.
Really? I thought there were 20 cowboy doctors in every city who can lasso your gall bladder with a bit of fishing line using only a scalpel and a flashlight: that bad boy can be in a jar and you can be home in 36 hours. What am I getting missing?
Exactly. It’s a standard procedure and they should’ve had her on a table, yanked it, and kicked her back to court in like, 2 hours.
But they didn’t take it out. That’s what’s telling.
Nearly a decade after her first bout with cancer, she again underwent surgery on February 5, 2009, this time for pancreatic cancer
Gall Bladder my ass….Id like a comment by one of our resident docs, but having watched Mama Tres succumb to pancreatic cancer, Ill lay $5 that its back, and she’s on the way out.
At her age, with health issues, and she’s hanging out in a horsepistol….cant she get CoVID-19 ?
Wait, what? She beat pancreatic cancer? I didn’t think that was beatable at all. I’m grudgingly impressed.
You’re probably right tho.
From that Wiki:
“Months later in August 2019, the Supreme Court announced that Ginsburg had recently completed three weeks of focused radiation treatment to ablate a tumor found in her pancreas over the summer. On January 7, 2020, Ginsburg reported that she is cancer free”
Bullshit. Again, Id like a supposition from C. Anaceron or such, but you dont have “treatments” and 5 months later declared ‘cancer free’. That’s reckless on the part of any oncologist. Unless she has access to super-effective-special SCOTUS treatments (which she may).
I totally forgot about all that.
Im always caustic about any “we need a 5K walk and bake sale to raise money to beat ______ cancer!”
Pancreatic cancer is a slate-wiper. That’s why you dont see people wearing ribbons for ‘seeking a cure !’
There isnt one- if that shit took out Steve Jobs? Normal people dont stand much of a chance.
“She beat pancreatic cancer? I didnāt think that was beatable at all.”
She’s been pickled in a jar for 40 years, with her head attached.
“Gall bladders donāt play.”
The worse pain I have ever experienced in my life was apparently something with my gall bladder. I was in the hospital for something else and I just went to take a walk. I was getting out the next day and I was feeling OK. After a short walk, I started getting a pain near my abdomen, seems a little higher up and to one side. My wife was with me and I said ‘oh man, something hurts’ and I sort of grabbed the spot where it was. I said ‘We’d better go back to the room, I don’t feel too good’. I didn’t think I would make it back to the room, the pain was just horrible. We got to the room and I sort of just collapsed on the bed and was curled up in the fetal position in agonizing pain. Next thing I remember, I’m staring at 3 doctors and or nurses staring at me and I’m still curled up in this fetal position. Apparently my wife was scared as hell and ran to get the nurse and I passed out from the pain.
So one of the doctor’s says ‘You OK?’. I explained to him the pain, I mean it was still terrible, the nurse came in and the doctor ordered me taken down for a catscan. I got some pain meds and a little while later I’m back in my bed feeling a little better. The doctor comes in and says ‘There seems to be some inflamation around or in your gall bladder, but no stones or anything’. They just sort of threw up their hands ‘we don’t know what it is’.
I got released the next day, but for about a month, every damn time I’d go for a walk, I would start getting some pain in that exact spot. I told my doctor. No one ever figured it out, but after a few months, it just went away.
Clearly a torsioned testicle.
Dr T Cool, urologist
It was sort of high up for a testicle.
It was a cold day.
That’s what killed my Dad. He was 94, not all that much older.
noting that the proposal would reduce inequality, unemployment, and pollution, as well as increase diversity among retirees.
Like much of the Bee, barely parody. IOW, excellently relevant.
Musk then slammed the hatch of his submarine and left for his underwater volcano lair.
A submarine that I presume is long, hard and full of seamen.
#TFW you killed it all damned day and finally got things done.
Curious question for the glib commenters. Who would you rather have as president Amash, or Trump?
Amash. Even with his bonafides deeply in question after falling hook, line, and sinker for the soft coup, he’d be 100x the president Trump is.
However, as a protest vote, Amash sucks.
^this
What Trashy said.
Ron Paul, alternatively Rand Paul. (fuck Amash) That said the entertainment value of the Trump admin has been unmatched. If we are going to drive off the cliff, we might as well be amused.
However, as a protest vote, Amash sucks.
Indeed, Trump was and remains the proverbial protest vote, which says more about his opponents than it does about him.
https://www.cnn.com/videos/politics/2020/05/03/sotu-amash-armed-protesters.cnn
OK, I have it on good authority that there is no reason to hate Amash except he no-like Trump.
He looks like Mr Bean with glasses. And Mr Bean is fucking annoying.
Let me guess. You still have your tricorn and frockcoat from your Sarah Palin at the Tea Party days.
^This is a telling point about Amash. He’s a young Bill Weld. I think he’s probably an economic liberal (in the classical sense) and talks a good game about being anti-war but in all other regards he’s your garden variety statist. “Everyone has a right to protest, but when we protest we have to do it in a way that’s appropriate.” Go fuck yourself, Justin.
Amen.
Ya, and no Nazi signs when you are calling a god damned tyrant a fucking Nazi. Big taboo there.
Then there is the desire to not too offend the cocktail party set.
I’d love to go to one of those parties just to see what all the fuss is about. People seem to sell their grandmothers up the river for them. They must be a hell of a lot of fun.
Yeah, fuck that guy. I have a lot of respect for Rand Paul and Massie, but Amash has turned into an unprincipled hack.
He just developed a raging case of TDS.
Mcafee, with Vermin Supreme as VP. And the ‘Rent Is Too Damn High’ dude for Press Secretary.
Look at what the left and the political establishment have turned into because of Trump. McAfee would cause them all to commit mass suicide… McAfee 2020!
“My 1st executive order will be to abolish the DEA…”
/loses union votes
“Next I will abolish the IRS in favor of a national consumption tax”
/loses union votes
“Thirdly, anyone federally incarcerated for non-violent, consensual acts, is fully pardoned”
/loses union votes
Yeah, but if you’re already president and you do those things, does it matter if you don’t get reelected?
Next executive order: Disallows voting by anyone in pubsec union.
I dont know, by numbers, how much of a voting bloc PubSec has, vote-wise. I mean, if you have a candidate that says “Im closing your agency, learn to code…” I dount they’re someone you want to vote for. But then Obama said, “Ill bankrupt fossil fuel” and he still got the job
Or HUD
Fuck Amash. One whiff of TDS and he flushed his principles down the toilet. He was also playing balls on chin with the permanent bureaucracy.
A nicer way to say that I think he’s an unprincipled careerist who likes to play the part of the rogue “small government” Tea Party rebel so long as it benefits him is that I think he’s the very definition of a “consequentialist libertarian”. He probably genuinely believes that the freer the market the better–although I’m sure you could find some regulations he’d support, perhaps grudgingly–and he’ll probably quote Ayn Rand or Friedrich Hayek all day long if you let him. He’s probably firmly against foreign interventionism, and he’s for individual liberty in a general sense. But, and this is a big ol’ but, he’s above all else committed to finding reasonable compromises to avoid upsetting the basic premise of the system, i.e. that the country should be governed by a professional political class that makes decisions for the general public, who in turn is obligated to play by the rules and accept the outcomes whether or not they believe those outcomes are just or legitimate, because that’s the Social Contract. Liberty is important, but you can’t have it without order, and sometimes, to have order, you have to sacrifice some liberty. You can complain all you want as long as you obey.
And we ought to trust the Deep State with total power over us because they are forward-thinking educated cosmopolitans unlike Trump. And libertarians are forward-thinking educated cosmopolitans so ergo The Deep State must be libertarian.
There are more Progressives who think they’re libertarians than one might imagine, I suspect.
Honestly I believe a majority or at least a plurality of libertarians fit this mold. They are progressives who grudgingly accept that economic liberty and ‘regulated’ gun ownership are good things. The problem is that they also believe in substantive equality, education as a panacea and are moral relativists. So they see unequal outcomes, ascribe those outcomes to racism and systemic discrimination, and call for economic regulation and a substantial social safety net as a solution to this evil. Now to be fair there is a similar issue from the right where people will describe themselves as libertarian while embracing myths about sex trafficking and drug use that lead them to support the police state.
I am not really sure where to place myself these days. I am disgusted with Trump, disgusted with Amash, disgusted with the LP, hate the neocons with a passion, would in absolute dead seriousness prefer Pinochet to the progressive wing of the Democrat party (and these days Team D is becoming a Northrup YB-49, all prog wing, no body), can’t get along with the religious right because after 30 minutes of conversation where I start to feel like they are my people they inevitably break out one or all of, young Earth creationism, homosexuality should be criminalized, or muh sex trafficking/drugs corrupt and should be banned.
? One of these things/is not like the others ?
Jarflax, as do we all, has every right to associate with people based on whatever characteristics he chooses. All things being equal,I wouldn’t vote for anyone who sincerely believes the Earth is only 5,000 years old either, any more than I would vote for someone who believes that Xenu is an interstellar tyrant.
Xenu did nothing wrong.
I’m in the same spot. The only thing separating the Progressives from Pinochet is that they’ve shit all over the military for years so they’ll need to do some work to win their support. But it’ll happen if they stay in power long enough, for sure. The right talks a good game about liberty but then they screw the pooch by limiting it to decisions they approve of for themselves. The non-Prog left is on life support, but when they show up they get all Marxist.
The killer is that the Overton window has so effectively been shifted by social justice Progs that now everyone* takes for granted that racism is systemic and income inequality is a.) a problem and b.) something that must be solved by the state in some way. What’s especially shitty about that is that I really believe that racism was on the wane. Outside of the media and the professionally aggrieved, I think it still is. But regular people who do things like work, socialize, and raise children don’t have the time that pundits, politicians, and media figures have to fiddle with the levers of policy and popular culture.
Can we just admit Pinochet is a weird example to use? He was more free market than well, any President we’ve had. He removed tariffs and outlawed labor unions, as well as privatizing Chile’s entitlement programs.
Pinochet was ‘libertarian’ totalitarianism, the only example ever. Kind of like a Make A Wish libertarian 12 yr old being granted being president for a day and murdering those who disagree with him.
Amash wouldn’t be the first fake freedom loving guy. Remember how the Tea Party ushered in a whole wave of ‘tea party patriot candidates’ who turned out to be nothing but more establishment statists? Marco Rubio, Paul Ryan, just to name a couple? Most of them are already gone.
He lost all respect when he suggested working with Whitmer.
But he’s going to be the most libertarian statist ever!
You want to know the real truth – it doesn’t fucking matter. The problem isn’t who is president, it is what the presidency is. And that is rooted in what the American people want – which is for the most part everything that most of us here despise. They want a national daddy, someone to tell them comforting lies, someone that gives meaning to their utterly empty and pathetic excuses for lives. They won’t get off their asses to go to church, or volunteer, or do any damn thing that might actually bring meaning to their lives – they want it served up to them as TV gruel.
And if they can’t have that, they are happy to have a daily dose of outrage on social media.
We’ll spend 4 years laughing our asses off at the Democrats if they do manage to retake the White House. We’ll all get to see just how much unity there is in that party, let alone the whole of the people.
Sadly, I think you’re 100% correct. The ‘rona has demonstrated to me that a hell of a lot more people than I ever imagined believe with all their hearts that public school was a model for civil society.
Here….I did this using your words:
https://postimg.cc/4HQHXjN9
[insert Sean’s avatar]
“a national daddy”
What if we want a national mommy to teach us lessons when we are naughty?
Oh, and to answer the question, Trump a thousand times over.
I’m in a state where I voted for a Republican governor and he won, which is rarer than unicorn shit. That thieving mick scumbag O’Malley just got done passing the shitty gun control bill that banned mags greater than ten rounds and required a special license for handgun purchases, so here I am thinking a vote for a Republican who claims to be a supporter of gun owners and gun rights means he’ll try to at least talk about repealing the shit. This motherfucker hasn’t said ‘boo’ about it. No problem shutting down bars and restaurants and issuing a stay-at-home order, but God forbid he offends a Democrat in the general assembly by implying that we might revisit the topic of magazine capacity limits.
So Trump isn’t good on gun rights, but he didn’t say he would be. He is who he appears to be. Amash wears a liberty jersey but he sits on the bench during every game. The last thing I want is a “libertarian” president who just does the same shit the Progs and the statists would do anyway, because then well is forever poisoned. Give me Rand Paul, who doesn’t claim to be anything he isn’t. Or really, give me Thomas Massie, who actually seems to adhere to principles without seeming like an idiot or a crackpot.
“Iām in a state where I voted for a Republican governor and he won, which is rarer than unicorn shit.”
And he gained 80 lbs!
Titty Tuesday is already retired.
http://archive.li/6v4jd
#11, #53, and honorable mention to #70.
41 has the best snapper
#50 does not belong.
Throwing “retired” and “tits” in the same sentence usually means something much less gratifying.
7, 16, or 29 can audition for the role of Mrs. Chafed.
Smoked Breakfast Casserole
This is what I should be doing while working from home for 2 weeks*. That and spending more time here, but I have been surprisingly concentrated on the work instead. Perhaps it is my cat’s judgmental stares.
*company policy because I coughed because of allergies and/or any of the other things that are always going around that are not necessarily the Chinese coronavirus, which is from China…
Ha! This got a legit lol.
Awesome!
And the responses are even more better.
OK. First Glib that posts the link where the a Donkey actually proposes this – I’ll buy them a one-year’s subscription to this here funtime blog.
She may have already done it in a round about way.
Done it? JFC I am a hillbilly.
? “have done” is correct.
http://archive.li/HMOes/164304f79eb47f56fd123d92bbdd9b2d3ac7949b.jpg
NSFW.
http://archive.li/oIaXC/8f1b5d65ca548db209d204e2ed7bfe65ee88e726.jpg
NSFW.
http://archive.li/4h9BJ/69823387ebfbf3d752b856e1d5dc5e1e85f1fcd6.jpg
NSFW.
http://archive.li/uX81M/79b4f3d77cb7e0d991d1cbe87f2bcb322c1d14bb.jpg
NSFW.
Alert HM. It’s Thicc Tuesday with Q.
She reminds me of the Venus of Willendorf in a really, really positive way.
*sighs*
I’d marry that girl.
“his sheep escaped a farm and spent 6 years in the mountains, during which time he grew 60 pounds of wool. Wolves tried to eat him, but their teeth could not penetrate the floof. You don’t have to turn hard to survive the wolves, just be really, really soft and fluffy.”
https://twitter.com/ChaplainAziz/status/1256585867654828032
wow
Man, that is one really wooly sheep.
Man, those samoans are a surly bunch
Not the message I got from Lambert The Sheepish Lion at all.
They’re coming.
https://twitter.com/munsifmey/status/1256752959666507776
That’s a lot of sweaters!
-Bergdorf
“There is emerging evidence to suggest that #coronavirus may be having a disproportionate impact on some ethnic groups, as well as certain genders.
We’re launching a review into the factors impacting health outcomes to address health inequalities.”
https://twitter.com/DHSCgovuk/status/1257332511912460290
OFFS!
They can’t just say – this is really good at killing older males? Has there been any evidence that another demographic is more squarely in the crosshairs?
Dunno about the UK, but in my state, Hispanics are twice the percentage points of covid cases than of the general population.
Well, it’s the pneumonia that kills you, and if your back is perpetually wet you may be more susceptible to that. [The camp is this way? Ok. No need to stick that gun in my back. I know humor is means I’m a Nazi in current year.]
*chuckle*
My battle buddy in basic training was a Hispanic from Chicago. The guy from TX on the other side called him a dampback. He just smiled.
Who gets to be most offended if you call a gay Mexican a āwetbackā?
The bottom?
Twitter?
How can you have certain genders disproportionately impacted? If genders are sharinng this disproportionate impact wouldn’t that cover pretty much everyone?
You forget there are 31
flavorsgenders.https://twitter.com/PetiteNicoco/status/1257857675485986817
que?
https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/jun/17/napoleon-dream-died-waterloo-200th-anniversary-triumph-reaction
Interesting that classical liberalism always had a problem with “enlightened despots” like Cromwell and Napoleon and how sometimes we need war and collectivism to destroy the forces of reaction.
And the attitude is still alive and well with the notion that we need enlightened technocrats to save us from Trump and the rednecks.
Stick a fork in classical liberalism. It’s done.
https://www.health.gov.au/resources/apps-and-tools/covidsafe-app
Ok, I’m just spitballing here…We need a way to identify people with PANIC! Virus…It came from China…The Chinese flag has a big yellow star on it…So we could make them all wear a big yellow star…but that would cost a lot for all that yellow ink…maybe we could just draw a couple yellow triangles that overlap into a star shape…
Australia was always terrible with civil liberties.
I guess that’s what you get with an island of ex-cons. #FirstFleet
You failed to link this.
I mean it was a penal colony…
Yes, yes–lots of pean.
Regular Car Reviews: 1999 Toyota Corolla CE
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EXNWVi_UEAAA7Ms.jpg
I don’t know what half those things are.
We get ‘goetta’ and everyone cries about Cincinnati Chili? Oh, fuck off.
A Butter Burger is just a hamburger fried with butter, how is that weird?
You’re asking……”Chatter Source”? I mean….you know, like….fuuuuuck.
Rattlesnake? Really? It’s more likely than bat, sure. Still…
Most of the other stuff is weird or some kind of oddity. I mean out of all the weird shit us sconnies eat the best they could come up with is a hamburger fried in butter? Most people don’t know what a cheese curd is and we eat them several ways. Fake Newth!
Oh, I agree. It’s, at best, “exotic”, in that it’s rare to most people who don’t eat at Culver’s. It’s not weird.
It’s not just a Culvers thing. If you fry a lean burger, how else do you add the fat? Does everyone semi-deepfry lean burgers in oil? You add butter when frying a steak, why not a lean burger?
I don’t, actually.
I’m sorry; “frying”? A steak?
Sorry I don’t live somewhere I can grill more than 3 months a year. (And Fuck Broiling steak! it gets over cooked!)
But since I like you.
Steamed hams?
Well, just a tiny bit disappointed that she didn’t show her ass (blatant false advertising), but, I will say you are a true friend.
/that’s a damn good find.
Oh, shit…Plink lit the Digby signal
I hate this fad of “This, but as this other thing” videos.
Eh, it’s just a bit of fun.
A Butter Burger is just a hamburger fried with butter, how is that weird?
Have you had one?
A Butter burger is cooked, usually on a flat top. It’s served with cheese, sauteed onions, and a thin slice of butter (from a pound block)
It’s a good burger, not weird at all.
I’ve never had one that was a lean burger fried in butter.
I’m born and raised in NJ and I’ve never heard of a New Jersey style sloppy joe.
I think it’s when Biden roams the NJ Amtrak lookin for strange.
Oh, please tell me you’ll add that to the list of things to have in a future episode.
Man, the cartoons I would make if I had the ability to actually animate would blow your mind.
15 years, man. They too busy focusing on R&M–that’s where the $$ is.
Just get really nihilistic and find an even bigger alcoholic than you to help produce….fuck; I’m gonna have to start slammin’ back booze, aren’t I?
Booze is bad for your liver, just drink beer.
Yeah, but the carbs…. Oh well–?
Stuffed ham is a southern Maryland thing. I’ve never had it, but I’m intrigued. https://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/raleys-market-stuffed-ham-recipe-1911522
How is ‘Soup Beans’ (which is same as bean soup) weird?
Ky foods that someone elsewhere would more likely find weird?
Burgoo, Hot Brown, Mutton BBQ.
Ok, so it’s the same stupidity as Butter burger then. You speak all retarded and your shit is all fucked up, but you mean something everyone else knows.
I was surprised that sourkraut balls made the chart for Indiana. I would’ve expected peanut butter burgers.
Nah.
Oyster Balls.
That’s a weird food.
Watching tv commercials from the 80’s on YouTube. In the comments
“I want to go back to the real 1984. I don’t like the “1984” we’re in right now.”
Just to keep things in perspective in real 1984 the Democrat party was largely made up of people who thought the Soviets were the good guys and Reagan was the destabilizing influence. Change Soviets to Chicoms and Reagan to Trump and you have 2020. Admittedly Trump is not Reagan.
But the cartoons and toys were better.
Trump is better than Reagan.
Besides, that, yeah you’re right.
Largely, but then you also had people like Larry McDonald
Technically he didn’t quite make it to 1984, but still.
There is a not small part of the āLetās keep everything locked downā crowd that is going to find out the hard way that their lives didnāt improve in real or relative terms to the people they envy.
Yeah. They’re not too smart, so you couldn’t expect them to anticipate that. And it doesn’t help that they believe everything the media spoon feeds them.
I mean, really, there are a lot of them still thinking ‘them rednecks is really going to get it now! Then they’ll finally agree with us about everything!’ Right up until the time that they realize that they themselves have been fucked over as well.
This one isn’t about envy, but control and believing you, along with the TOPPEST MEN know what is best. This is destroying the lower income brackets. Some of the people at work haven’t been as lucky as me have been laid off this whole time, and still haven’t gotten their unemployment. Sure I complain and it sucks that the government fucked things up for me just as got my first grown-up job, but at least I’ve been allowed to work some of this time while my unemployment for my lay-offs hasn’t gotten straightened out. And, sure I was saving up before this hit, and I have enough to get me through so far. But, I don’t have anyone to feed but myself.
But there are still a LOT of progs living in total fantasy that this is going to finally be the thing that gets them everything they ever wanted. And then, they find out the shocking truth, that they just lost what little chance they had to get what they want, for a very long time. Math, economics, stuff like that, not their forte.
I’m not disputing that, only that is more the control part of the prog lizard brain than the envy part.
I haven’t met anyone yet who thinks the lockdown is a good idea who isn’t still getting a steady paycheck. This may be the thing that shakes the belief in a lot of previously complacent people that the government is a font of infallible wisdom. When the person you voted for is showing up to press conferences well-groomed and fed to nag you for complaining about not being permitted to work, cognitive dissonance begins to toll.
Meh, my sister who shit her pants and stopped going to work and hasn’t let her kids go anywhere is just kind of sort of questioning it. My sister who works at a school and is still getting paid to not go to work, has actual health problems where she should be isolating is pissed about all of it. The first sister was a Bernie supporter, the other sister joined the NRA when she was 18. It’s preconceived notions all the way down.
Just heard “heros and sheros” in an ad. I want out.
Were they talking about sheltering in their chic sheshed?
Is She-Ro She-Ra’s evil doppelganger? (Like Faker)
https://twitter.com/cwarzel/status/1257341156209446912
Fuck this guy.
From the replies
This is so exactly correct.I did not fully realise when I became a citizen, that to a vast swathe of the population, āfreedomā pertained only to the individual.The idea of a greater good is not fundamental to the national ideology.Its useless to say but it makes me incredibly sad
https://twitter.com/driverminnie/status/1257756001622605824
This is so fucking stupid its hard to decide where to start.
That one really stuck out to me too, lol.
But the replies in general show a rational conversation is impossible with these people. They have no understanding on anything outside their personal ideology.
I wonder if the person that said “the goal should be zero deaths” realizes how that is going to fuck with the whole over population thing.
given that deaths in general are inevitable, the zero deaths crowd are probably the worst fuckin authoritarians and would send the wreckers to die in the gulag because those deaths don”t count./
The Anti Drunk Driving initiative here in Wisconsin has been called Zero Deaths for almost a decade. This is actually something that is totally in control of each individual, let’s see how that is working out. But sure, the government can stop anyone dying of this virus ever again.
There’s a pedestrian non-occupant motor vehicle accident fatality goal called Zero Vision. Er, Vision Zero.
Even in trying to be noble, they just come off as creepy. “No Deaths”?? Like, ever?
“Everyone!! Listen–We are all going to be immortal, regardless of whether or not we can be sick, or, injured, or, feel any type of pain. And, it doesn’t matter if we don’t like each other. We are ALL not allowed to die! Do you hear me?!”
Once we add this (rule, law, code, process, etc.) nothing bad will ever happen again.
Oh, if it were only that simple with that type. It’s usually more along the lines of, “Once we add this ____, then, we get to move on to the next problem I just came up with.”
My experience is: We added rule A now we have to fix the issues created by rule A by adding rule B.
I’m on an ANSI standards committee. The annual meetings used to start out with “this mode of transportation is the safest in the world. If we don’t add the following requirements people will die.”
And they never got “it”, did they?
So far in 2020, according to their stats, just over four months in, two of which have been under lockdown, 134 traffic fatalities. For all of 2019 they have 144 fatalities. These stats don’t account for alcohol/non-alcohol deaths. But yeah, Zero Deaths, cool brah.
One of the replies:
“This is so exactly correct.I did not fully realise when I became a citizen, that to a vast swathe of the population, āfreedomā pertained only to the individual.The idea of a greater good is not fundamental to the national ideology.Its useless to say but it makes me incredibly sad”
Would that persons agree that “The greater good requires the extermination of the ____”?
Well, she is a “Darwinian Feminist”, so, you have your answer.
Piss on all those people.
Correct. Because individual freedom should trump a vaguery like “human loss” every single time.
“JOE BIDEN: āThe pandemic is that this President has no intercourse whatsoever with the rest of the world.ā”
https://twitter.com/Breaking911/status/1257858123576029184
Someone remind me of that when I’m sober, I think that audio could come in handy.
Done, and done. And, I mean “done”.
He doesnāt know what pandemic means. He really thinks it means ābadscary.ā
Grasshopper is the only one I’ve heard of, and I think Charlie is losin it isolation.
I totally forgot this song, I wrote it 5 years ago, nifty piece IMO,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2pFs-IaC8Vs
and Bella does go in water! amazing! ” you mean I can walk in this stuff I drink?”
https://photos.app.goo.gl/wfsdg1JyNkVzqrY96
So, if it’s been addressed elsewhere, I didn’t see it: I’m seeing the “alternative” layout of the site (thin, light text; wide, blueish-gray borders). Refreshing doesn’t help, as it’s done in the past.
Did I miss something?
Maybe the fact that WordPress sucks?
Hell I can’t Buy a Glibs Tee Shirt right now………..
and SP is aware of the issue, it’s on WP
Ahh! Excellent. Thank you for catching me up.
I’m getting the same thing. I assume WordPress is doing something.
DAMN YOUZ, WORD PRESS!! Our lover; our enemy….
Scientists say a now-dominant strain of the coronavirus appears to be more contagious than original
Microbe
Yep. And to all of you herd immunity, reopen now, vaccine will save in the fall idiots – go fuck yourselves…
https://twitter.com/spwells/status/1257687089132343296
Scientists say so that fucking settles it don’t it. But if this guy think nothing will save people since after fall, does the moron think you can keep lockdown more than one year?
I for one, welcome our viral overlords.
After deep investigation Taleb finally finds who is at fault, those damn libertarians
“Libertarians” are also incoherent: they deny stores the right to require masks & constrain their freedom yet ask for freedom…
Nothing to do with libertarianism: rather a collection of marshmallowbrained psychopaths and misfits taking their hatred of humanity too far.
https://twitter.com/nntaleb/status/1257756786314088449
āmarshmallowbrained psychopaths and misfitsā
Our new motto?
has a nice ring to it.
“Fuck you, Your Honor.”
If you don’t like it, run for
GovernorSheriffI did not know Texas had fallen so low.
Like I’ve said before; many people think Texas was and is a lawless, anything-goes, Wild West-type of place. Turns out, Texans love them some gub’mint authoritah, and, many Texas gun nuts have absolutely no problem with all the firearm regulations on the books.
TBF, it’s something of an acquiescence that thinks, “Well, it could be a lot worse–we could be like Cali, or, NY. So we ain’t got it so bad.” And, indeed, it’s not that bad, comparatively speaking.
Could definitely be better.
It was funny when Walker and the Republicans wanted to pass Concealed Carry here. Open Carry had been legal for as long I know. To ‘protest’ to get Concealed Carry some asshats started Open carrying in private businesses. So next thing you know once Concealed Carry passed here all of a sudden for the first time every business posted signs not allowing weapons in stores.
Texas didn’t have anything close to either for handguns, until, what…’95? Meaning, Texans have only had the official “right” to carry concealed for just 25 years. Open carry for long guns, sure.
Hell, we only just recently did away with laws around automatic knives. That took well into the 21st Century to accomplish, ffs.
Wild West, my ass.
This?
Right! How you’re supposed to carry the electric outlet around, too, I don’t get (have to ask ‘splosives about that one).
But, we now have the “right”.
I have a story about an officer I worked with at my first agency, that charged a guy with a Prohibited Weapons charge for a pocket knife with a maybe 2.5 inch blade, simply because it would open automatically. Truly fucking pathetic, and the officer thought he was Da MAN!
Not exactly the knife in question, but VERY close.
I remember that or something similar being used on roasts and birds when I was a kid.
When I was hanging with my little brother this last Sunday for my nephew’s birthday I start talking to my brother about how if my job gets back on track I’d like to buy him a Rambo knife for his birthday, never did what is legal come into into it even thought he’s married to a prog; just that it should be a First Blood knife, NOT Part II or III or that machete from from 4, and mos def nothing from 5.
Oh…the one that started it all!
I remember an episode of cops in Texas where they roust some guy in his car. They cops are pretty nonchalant about the six shooter he has (.45 colt?) and then freak out when there is a knife (k-bar) under some papers.
Past of me says, Yep, that’s Texas cops. The other part thinks “anywhere there’s a camera, doubt the ‘narrative'”.
If he told them about the gun, but not the knife? Oooh, boy…that freaks them right the fuck out. Across the board, in my experience.
I will say that, in one episode in FW, the po-po were trying to get an old lady to come to the door for some reason (could have been a fire/need to evacuate her), and she had a gun. And, she was OLD. Anyway, there was a bit of alarm on their part, but mostly due to it being a surprise by a woman with obvious impairment (nothing too bad). They reiterated her 2A rights and said they wanted her to be able to protect herself, but just to be careful when handling the pistol.
All in all, it was a net positive for a cop.
30-06 signs are my personal peev.
I don’t like that it’s a government solution, but, I don’t mind them, from the PP aspect of things. And, at least it’s just a trespassing issue, even if it can become the highest level of misdemeanor.
That’s my long version. I have no problem with a property owner prohibiting whomever they wish, but I think it should be limited to asking them to leave (if it’s otherwise open to the public) and trespass if they refuse. The auto crime portion is what sticks in my craw.
I don’t know a better way to announce, than to just post here: I’m going to skip the Night Shift post for this Saturday. If anyone wants to make one up, or, submit something for that “time slot”, please feel free (per TPTB’s wishes).
I’m laid off again, so I’ll be passing out on the Zoom chat that night.
Damn…
Thank you Sir Digs!
Thank YOU, Gustave.
Hope everyone stocked up on seafood as well..
https://www.dailyastorian.com/coronavirus/eleven-more-workers-at-bornstein-seafoods-test-positive-for-the-coronavirus/article_63e25d14-8e32-11ea-8b84-7f0c9fe94b6f.html
Aww, hell….
Can we still get Mrs Pell’s Fish Sticks?
Digby,
So…do you have a file on your computer with all of your avatar pictures? If so, what’s the file name?
Oh, ho ho….I just did a mandated cyber security course for work–you aren’t phishing me that easily!
/flash drive, and, I just do GIS for naked intruder. Or, if I move back to more of the Digby stuff, a GIS for Sir/Lord Digby
Man, I think I Deja Vu’ed!
Also, I’ll have gone through my current pic list in a month or so, at my current rate.
I liked the one that was blue and green with the guy leaping in the middle. Was it a streaker on a sports ball field?
Must be this one: https://keyw.com/naked-intruder-surprises-woman-in-her-pendleton-home-jumps-off-cliff/
I know nothing about it/him–I just copied the pic.
i think that’s the one. it’s hard to tell when it’s so big.
That’s What She Said! (This is why there are no libertarian women)
š
Went through my mom’s storage unit today to reclaim some of the stuff from my youth. Not much of it is exciting, except my inflatable Battle Cat! I did not know it was still around, now I want a son! Where all the libertarian women at!?
I never got into He-Man, but, that is awesome. If you can ‘incorporate’ it (IYKWIM), I think you’ll find a freak…er, uh…nice, libertarian-ish lady.
Haz a sad you didn’t say how cute I was as a kid…then I would have been able to call you a perv.
Oh, ho hoā¦.I just did a mandated
cyber securityanti-perv course for workāyou arenāt phishing me that easily!I’ll say it–you were a cute kid. Does your hair still do that sticking out on the side thing? And is that a sword by your head?
Yes, and, yes (If I happen to be on my bed).
Oh, you meant CPRM. Never mind…..
Yes, and, yes. Digby knows me too well.
The hair on top, not so lush though.
Um…asleep?
It’s 5:00 somewhere. And somewhere there be wxmyn….
I agree with Digby, but unfortunately they aren’t libertarian or into He-Man (learned that the hard way).
Widen your pool of candidates. Go conservative or apolitical or mail order.
I was hoping to go Mail Order, but this Panic! Virus has cut into my Bride budget.
go fund me or kick starter?
We could send you to comic-con.
Comic-con is canceled! PANIC!
I have hope in a future that includes adults dressing up as fictional characters and socializing together.
Damn right! I have two lightsabers on the way, and….I’ve said too much.
I would say that it depends on how you present it to them
Was hoping you’d throw back to my own photoshop.
I don’t have that! Told you about that anti-perv training…
Music tonight
https://youtu.be/mJZyhEvu9uY
Alt-Right Digby and everybody else who isn’t The Hat’s best friend. I think I’ll call it a night, otherwise I’ll run out of beer.
Pshaw—you? Out of beer?
Alright…dammit.
Well, I just put my back-up 30 pack in the fridge to get me through tomorrow. I’ve had to cut down during These Difficult Times (TM). But really, sleep is something society tells me I should do, and every few days my body acquiesces.
Blech….”society”. I fart in their general direction.
goodnight
Is straff around? I haven’t seen him on during my normal times.
Otherwise, it’s just Gustave and s.e.Not to impugn my fine, fellow gliberati late-nighters….He’s been in in the AM. It’s Neil Gaiman Week in fair Nippon.
https://blog.gaijinpot.com/tweet-of-the-week-79-golden-week-2020-downgraded-to-gaman-week/
Explanation (if the squirrels don’t eat it again)
https://blog.gaijinpot.com/tweet-of-the-week-79-golden-week-2020-downgraded-to-gaman-week/
…Ooooooh! Ok, this makes sense of what I saw here yesterday. Hope he and Tej are enjoying everything.
Wait–do we have other Nippon-based glibs? I think I’m forgetting one or two others…
Mustang is still there I think.
Apologies, I’m going to sleep.
Yep–the ‘Stang.
‘Night, yo.
Watching the 1966 batman series I kept riffing on the Gotham PD’s incompetence. Then came this perfect peice of dialog:
And no, that wasn’t my riff, that was actually in the show.
Oh, and Mornin’ Glibs.
Mornin’
How’s it going?
I think it’s wednesday, but I’d have to check.
It’s so weird. I keep going to work, but without co-workers and field staff.
Also, I’m ready to murder these extended car warranty robocall people. They call every day. ?
I curse whoever invented the robocall.
It IS Wednesday, which means Ribs Special night at Oinkadoodlemoo.
Hrmm… It’s a bit out of my way to drop in on a whime, but I am supposed to be passing through ohio in november – twice in fact. Think I can convince the reclusive ohio glibs to finally be in the same place at the same time?
That would be delightful! We’re a shy lot, but I think there would be safety in numbers. Besides Tres and me (we’re perilously close to one another but still haven’t met IRL,) I believe Akira is in the next county to the north, and I gather Annoyed Nomad is somewhere in the Dayton area. Any idea of your route through Ohio and/or where you might stop?
I’ve penciled in Columbus because I haven’t picked an actual spot, but have a whole slack day on the current draft itenery, which is more than enough time to reach any corner of the state.
I recall your original plan included a stop at the AF Museum, but I gather that was mainly for your father’s sake. I’m not sure what else in the greater Dayton area might appeal to your interests other than perhaps these purveyors of comic books – assuming they survive the Great Ohio Lockdown.
Mmm…bbq…
I had collared greens for the first time the weekend before last. I liked em.
I also had some hushpuppies. I had to carb it up, was getting too skinny. They came with jalapeno honey butter. OMG.
I’ve never had the nerve to try greens of any sort. I have memories of smelling some kind of greens cooking at the home of an African-American friend when I was a kid. (I grew up in a “changing neighborhood.”) Smelled truly vile to me.
They smell vile while cooking, yes. But that is not indicative of the flavor when finished.
Collards (thumbs down) and not Mustard greens? Turnip greens are right out. Mustard or go home.
Mustard greens, chicken stock, salt and lots of bacon/tasso/neck bones. Serve with cornbread (with jalapeƱos)
A little vinegar that has been soaking hot peppers is a big plus.
Mornin’, UCS. We caught an episode of Batman on the “Heroes & Icons” channel the other night – one with Shelley Winters guest-starring as Ma Somebody-or-other, head of a criminal family that had taken over the Gotham City jail. Hadn’t seen Batman since I was a kid. Oh, so very cheesy & campy!
I have not had as good a laugh in a while.
Speaking of Batman The TV Series suggests the obvious Ginger-or-Mary Ann type of question: Eartha Kitt or Julie Newmar? (I suspect I know the answer.)
I would have to do work to figure out which one was which, and so far I’ve only seen one.
Oh, and I did start on that story inspired by pulp covers (albeit not when I was supposed to be at work). Though I’m all of 378 words in.
Great! Are you thinking of submitting it here?
That depends on how it turns out.
Here’s the crass narrator’s introduction:
Intriguing setting & characters so far! Hope it turns out to your satisfaction – and well enough to “share it with the class.”
I’m debating whether or not to use the name I’d picked for the fat man, because it turns out it’s from the wrong language
-1 “Though I looked far less threatening than the man himself. ”
Would read.
He’s the narrator of a pulp-inspired adventure tale, when push comes to shove, he’s more dangerous than any brigand in Baranga, he just doesn’t look intimidating.
The second sentence after that repeated it.
Well, that’s great, now I’m only 368 words in.
https://philadelphia.cbslocal.com/2020/05/05/officials-33-year-old-adriene-rodriguez-arrested-after-setting-police-vehicle-on-fire-in-coatesville/
Hero or criminal?
Needs more information. I want details on the traffic stop.