The Hat Check: May 2020

by | May 13, 2020 | Hat and Hair | 274 comments

Fake News is the real plague sweeping the nation, and I’m the cure!

 

ASSERTION: Donald Trump drinks 12 cans of Diet Coke every day

A 12 Diet Cokes-a-day habit like Trump’s is worth changing

(CNN) President Donald Trump downs a dozen Diet Cokes each day, The New York Times reported this weekend.

Donald Trump drinks from 16oz bottles and 20oz bottles and 2-liter bottles and the Supersize cups at McDonald’s, as well as cans. CNN can’t even steal content from the Jew York Times properly.

Donald Trump drinks at least 144oz of Diet Coke a day from various containers. That he drinks a dozen 12oz cans a day is just plain false.


ASSERTION: Donald Trump told Americans to drink bleach to cure the Chinese Virus

‘Saturday Night Live’ Opens With Alec Baldwin Making America Great Again By Drinking Bleach

The garbage losers in the media got it wrong again. Donald Trump never said to drink bleach! He only suggested that INJECTING bleach might be a cure for the Chinese Virus which Waeija Jiang clearly infected our country with.

Learn to read, morans!


ASSERTION: Trump demands Chinese Reporter return to her paymasters in Beijing

Trump Storms Out of Press Conference

But not before demanding CBS reporter Weijia Jiang direct her question to China instead.

Donald Trump left the press conference because Weijia Jiang was trying to cough on him. She pulled down her mask and tried to sneeze.

“Go back to your ChiCom masters and cough on them, Hanoi Jane!” Donald Trump bravely told her. And left the press conference at a dignified pace.


Debunking the Debunker’s Bunk! (a new feature)

Fauci’s Senate testimony debunked a number of Trump’s favorite coronavirus lies

Fauci also agreed with a question Sanders asked him about whether he concurs with experts who have concluded the US coronavirus death toll, which has reached more than 80,000, represents an undercount — comments undercutting arguments Trump and his advisers have reportedly embraced in private about official death numbers being inflated.

“Most of us feel that the number of deaths are likely higher than that number, because given the situation particularly in New York City when they were really strapped with a very serious challenge to their health care system, that there may have been people who died at home who did have Covid who were not counting as Covid, because they never really got to the hospital,” Fauci said.

Of course Sanders wants more old people dead! They never vote for his nonsense! Fauci only wants more people dead because that’s more that we can save later on. See? See how they twist the truth? DEBUNKED!

Fauci pointed out that “I have never made myself out to be the end-all and only voice in this. I’m a scientist, a physician and a public health official.” He warned that Paul’s push to reopen schools at a time when doctors are struggling to understand the link between Covid-19 and a potentially deadly syndrome developed by kids who have contracted it could be ill-advised.

“We don’t know everything about this virus, and we really ought to be very careful, particularly when it comes to children,” Fauci said.

Fauci really doesn’t know everything about the virus, but the lickspittle left media hang on his every word. DEBUNKED!

Many senators let Fauci do the talking for them. Sen. Tim Kaine (D-VA), for instance, alluded to the reality that not only does the US have the most coronavirus deaths in the world, but also a death rate that’s on the high end of the spectrum, and asked Fauci if that means the US has to do better.

“Of course,” Fauci said. “You always have to do better.”

Kaine forgets the 400 million dead in China that his paymasters want to cover up. DEBUNKED!

Here is the author of this hack hit piece of Debunked Debunkery, Aaron RuPaul:


If you value truth and justice in journalism, subscribe to my podcast on iTunes: The Year of The Hat

And hit me up on Patreon: yearofthehatyesthathat


Correction: There is no evidence that Aaron Rupar is gay. At least, that’s what his male lover told me when I contacted him.

Correction correction: I did not speak to Aaron Rupar’s lover. I was catfished again by a deep-voiced woman.

Correction correction correction: I did not give her my credit card number.

About The Author

The Hat

The Hat

HOTUS

274 Comments

  1. Brochettaward

    Weijia Jiang is a mild would.

    • Don Escaped Australians

      all cats are gray in the dark

      but this cat looks like Zhou Enlai

      • Heroic Mulatto

        You shut your goddamn whore mouth.

  2. Don Escaped Australians

    can’t

    stop

    laughing

    • Brochettaward

      How does it feel, seconder, to know that you came so close but were still so far from being a first? To try so hard and yet to still fail?

      • Don Escaped Australians

        epic fail, no doubt

        FWIW, I remain first to a bar, first in peas, and first in the farts of my Glibsmen

      • Agent Cooper

        How does it feel, nolifer, to know that you have nothing better to do but be first and yet still have no life to speak of outside of your little first-commenter obsession? Try so little to live and still fail?

  3. leon

    Go back to your ChiCom masters and cough on them, Hanoi Jane!” Donald Trump bravely told her. And left the press conference at a dignified pace.

    One sentence, packed with so much good.

    • Count Potato

      It puts a new slant on things.

      • Spudalicious

        What was done there was observed.

      • juris imprudent

        No chink in that armoire!

    • Fourscore

      Yellow journalism!

      • Chipwooder

        I see what you did there…..

  4. Chipwooder

    Does the Hair get a counterpoint column?

    • Count Potato

      I certainly hope so.

      • Swiss Servator

        I am still marveling that HOTUS registered for an account here!

  5. Heroic Mulatto

    (CNN) President Donald Trump downs a dozen Diet Cokes each day, The New York Times reported this weekend

    I’m not sure why this is something newsworthy, or much less positive or negative. A top-level administrator at my institution is well-known for his Diet Coke habit. He doesn’t drink coffee to get him through the day because he doesn’t like the taste. Big whoop.

    • Florida Man

      It’s dumb. Trump is a buffoon, just play his speeches unedited. Attacking him over this nonsense just makes him sympathetic and gives fuel for him to call the media fake news.

    • Count Potato

      When I worked for a coffee company, I worked with a guy who drank an ocean of cola (I don’t remember which kind) because he didn’t like coffee. Even though we got unlimited free coffee.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        I’m envious. I really, really like coffee.

      • Florida Man

        He didn’t say what kind of coffee. Who am I kidding? I drink any coffee.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Me too.

        Even Folgers in a fix.

      • bacon-magic

        ^
        Black. No sugar. No cream.

      • Fourscore

        You stole my recipe, Bacon

      • Rebel Scum

        Black. No sugar. No cream.

        But she don’t give me no sugar I don’t give her no cream.

      • Mad Scientist

        Like your men?

      • DEG

        BAILEY’S!

        Coffee without Bailey’s is a lesser drink.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        We brew unlimited Folgers at the office.

        Used to provide it to the customers free of charge but COVID ended that.

      • Bobarian LMD

        I buy the giant bargain boxes of k-cups and drink coffee from 0900 to 1730.

        The coffee ain’t great, but at least it’s fresh.

      • Ted S.

        I can’t wait to see SF do a version of this.

      • Count Potato

        Apparently, you aren’t alone. The people from offices calling us to report their coffee machine was broken were positively frantic. It was like they were being attacked by murder hornets. I’m surprised none of them called 911.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        I hope that when you put them on hold this was the music.

      • Count Potato

        Unfortunately, no, but that’s a great album.

      • Bobarian LMD

        This would have been my choice.

      • SugarFree

        Yeah, coffee bothers my stomach, but I can drink all the diet soda I want. It’s weird.

      • Don Escaped Australians

        coffee and a banana are mortal

      • Endless Mike

        Huh. I quit drinking pop because of my stomach – I still do a lot of coffee every morning, without nearly the stomach issues.

      • Akira

        Even though we got unlimited free coffee.

        We have unlimited free coffee at work, but it kinda sucks. So much that I’d rather buy a nearly $3 can of salted caramel cold brew out of the machine than drink it.

        Of course, lately I’ve just been brewing my own espresso at home, adding some salted caramel flavor syrup, and bringing it to work in a little bottle. This also has the advantage of allowing me to just take a big drink of it about every hour so that I get a steady buzz that lasts all day instead of a spike followed by a crash.

    • bacon-magic

      It is newsworthy because ORANGEMANBAD and diet coke is hated by CNN for not advertising.

    • invisible finger

      I’m not sure wht a Diet Coke habit is worse than, say, a CNN habit.

      • SugarFree

        Donald did try a Coke Zero once, but opined that it “tasted worse than Pelosi’s stoma.”

      • Mojeaux

        This is what I come here for.

      • Gustave Lytton

        New formulation or old formulation of Zero? Because the new one sucks ass.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Old one was great. I dont know if I’d go as far as sucks ass on the new one, given that it sucks less than everything else out there.

      • Bobarian LMD

        He said it SUCKS STOMA!

    • AlexinCT

      I wonder why they never reported that Obama fantasized that every cigarette he smoked had balls, but spend so much time on this fucking diet coke nothing burger..

  6. Fourscore

    “I’m a scientist, a physician and a public health official.”

    2 outta 3 ain’t bad

    • Heroic Mulatto

      In his role as founder of an accreditation board for ophthalmology, you can say that Rand was involved in public health as well. Fauci and Rand were debating as peers.

      • Chipwooder

        Lefty types on twitter were claiming that Rand isn’t a real doctor for some reason. I didn’t feel like having IQ points sucked out of my skull, so I didn’t bother reading the supposed reasoning for that.

      • leon

        Eyesight is not considered a function of health. That is why you talk about danger they never say that things that endanger life, limb or eyesight.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        I think it’s because Rand didn’t complete his bachelor’s and went straight into med school, idiots think you can’t complete a graduate degree without an undergraduate degree, even though it happens all the time in Europe.

      • IntraveneousWoodChipper

        One of Paul’s points was that we can’t rely solely on medical considerations when talking about re-opening as there are other factors that need to be taken into account.

        To be fair, the whole “controversy” was a giant, stupid nothingburger.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        It’s almost as if knowledgeable people can disagree on a course of action in good faith!

      • leon

        Not possible. If you disagree with me it means you are a liar, who knows you are wrong but are pushing lies for your own benefit. Even if you disagree because you hold different values, that just proves that you are evil, because you don’t value the same things i do.

      • The Hyperbole

        This, I didn’t see either one “destroy the other using facts and logic” as each side was twittering, in fact they were both saying the same thing they just had a different conclusion, “We don’t know everything about this so lets not over/under react”

      • Bobarian LMD

        Well, we’ve already over-reacted, so maybe we should try something different.

      • wdalasio

        I’d kind of think that a medical school inviting you to start attending based on your MCAT alone and saying you don’t need to finish college would probably be something of a ringing endorsement. But, I’m not a doctor.

      • Mojeaux

        You used to be able to get into law school without going to college at all. You just had to take a test. Or so I’m told that’s how my grandfather got into law school back in the 60s.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        To be fair, most of today’s law students spend more time in undergrad on various walks of shame than in the classroom.

      • leon

        But, I’m not a doctor.

        SHUT THE FUCK UP LAYTARD!

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Well, the med school in question was his dad’s alma mater…so, rightly or wrongly, there are the optics about legacy admission and all that.

        But the fact that he continues to practice medicine as an eye surgeon and we don’t hear of legions of patients going blind in his offices should put that to rest.

      • wdalasio

        Well, the med school in question was his dad’s alma mater…

        I could see that if the issue were admittance at all. But, getting in early?

        Nevertheless, I think you hit the nail on the head. They guy is a a practicing eye surgeon. That’s kind of a pretty good endorsement of his qualifications for medical school right there.

      • Swiss Servator

        Harry Reid let him operate on him FFS.

      • robc

        It was Duke. I may not care for their basketball coach, but as far as I know, the University of New Jersey-Durham is a fine school.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Harry Reid let him operate on him FFS.

        And he didn’t “accidentally” slip?

        Now I’ve got a bone to pick with my Senator.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Next you’ll be telling me that Kobe Bryant wasn’t a real athlete because he skipped the NCAA and went stright to the pros.

      • creech

        He certainly wasn’t a pilot.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        *da dum tshhhh*

        He’ll be here all week folks! Try the fish!

      • Mad Scientist

        Not everyone can be Kareem.

      • Chipwooder

        Not everyone can be Kareem.

        Look, his name is Roger Murdock.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Can’t have that! Might turn professional schools into glorified trade schools.

      • R C Dean

        Rand is a licensed physician. He has a doctorate that is not honorary. Under what possible definition is he not a “real” doctor?

        I wonder if Fauci is licensed; a quick scan of wiki doesn’t mention it. He does have an MD degree and completed residency, but it looks like he went straight into bureaucracy without ever practicing. He wouldn’t need to be licensed, since he doesn’t, as far as I know, provide any medical treatment. He does have numerous honorary doctorates.

        If he’s not licensed, then it would be a tricky hospital etiquette question as to whether he would be called “Dr.” Fauci, since that title is typically used only for practicing (or retired) physicians, not just anyone with a doctorate.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Eh, he completed a residency as an internalist. That’s really splitting hairs.

      • R C Dean

        I’m just saying, in the medical world there is a line drawn between practicing physicians, and people with doctorates. I suspect somebody with an M.D. who didn’t practice would get a courtesy “Dr.”, but I wouldn’t bet much money on it. I have worked with several Chief Medical Officers who are full-time VP level executives. Every one of them was careful to pick up a shift periodically – my current CMO works in our ED once or twice a month.

      • Drake

        When’s the last time he treated a patient? If the answer is in decades, he’s a medical beurocrat.

      • R C Dean

        Based on his CV on wiki, when he was a resident. And even then (not to split hairs, but why not?) he was only allowed to do medical stuff under the supervision of a real doctor.

      • Bobarian LMD

        RC Said he works on his Erectile Dysfunction once or twice a month, isn’t that seeing patients?

      • Ted S.

        To be fair, not paying to keep up your license is a scam.

        When Andrew Brandt was with the Packers he was doing things a General Counsel (I think it’s that) would do, until the media revealed his law licensed had lapsed because Brandt never bothered to pay the fucking protection racket (er, dues).

      • R C Dean

        Hell, I’d fire him for being stupid/incompetent.

        He wouldn’t have had to pay it out of his own pocket; that’s something every employer I have ever had pays.

  7. invisible finger

    Vikings hat = subhuman.

  8. Fourscore

    While I don’t know how many cokes or anything else the Donald drinks I do know that ‘some’ older men would be unable to go for long periods of time with out seeking certain rest facilities, even when their liquid consumption is less than half of that purported quantity. Watching Mr Prez go an hour in the sun, bantering with the public amazes me.

    • SugarFree

      His clothing has a number of clever catch pockets distributed throughout, much like the Fremen stillsuit.

      • Spudalicious

        But does he recycle it, or just put it in the press’s water at the WH.

      • SugarFree

        It is sent to Atlanta to be made into commemorative Diet Cokes to be given out to donors and fundraisers as thank you gifts.

      • Florida Man

        He has one of those urine to water pumps like in water world, but it’s urine to Diet Coke.

      • Trials and Trippelations

        I like the way you think

    • bacon-magic

      Some intern massages his prostate daily.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      My wife’s grandfather has a similarly obscene Diet Coke addiction. It’s a wonder that he doesn’t have a permanent piss stain on the front of his pants.

    • Mojeaux

      My dad used to drink a 2-liter bottle of generic cola every night before he went to bed.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        The man had the bladder of Zeus!

      • Mojeaux

        I don’t know when he stopped doing that (or if he did), but looking back, I just shake my head in shock and awe.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That’s….

        odd

      • Mojeaux

        I suspect there was something physiological going on there. Prediabetes, maybe? Hypoglycemia? I don’t know. It seemed more a compulsion than a habit.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        How long did he do this?

      • Mojeaux

        Several years. I believe he stopped about the time he was diagnosed with heart disease and started trying to lose weight.

        Of interest: He died when he was 51 of a myocardial infarction.

      • Fatty Bolger

        I worked with a woman who said her husband would drink a big glass of orange juice every night before bed, and then he would fall asleep. But after he started having heart problems, they found out that he was diabetic, and he’d actually been passing out every night from hyperglycemia.

      • Mojeaux

        I suspect he was prediabetic, hypOglycemic, and trying to make himself feel better. He was noticeably calmer and less angry after drinking a crap-ton of pop, and hypoglycemia does/can mimic alcoholism.

        But that could be me overthinking, too. He could’ve just been a sugar addict. As far as we know, he was not diabetic (yet). He did have a hypertension medication that raised his blood sugar, so he stopped taking that.

        (My story here is a progression over the course of years.)

      • Spartacus

        Mrs. Spartacus goes through 4 2-liter bottles of cream soda every week, plus several regular-size bottles of Orange Crush. I keep telling her that when she gets kidney stones she’s going to have to look elsewhere for sympathy.

      • Mojeaux

        I don’t drink much pop. I occasionally have a Fanta float at Sonic. I occasionally have Sprite if I’m feeling a little queasy. I like root beer and cream soda occasionally. And when I mean occasionally, I mean, once a month if that. My grandmother and mother and her sisters and both my brothers love them some Dr. Pepper [insert puke emoji here].

        However, if I’m road tripping (say, more than 6 hours), I’ll drink Mt Dew like it’s water. But otherwise, I’m not a pop fan at all. It’s the carbonation I hate because I love lemonade and I loved McDonald’s orange drink.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Dr. Pepper [insert puke emoji here].

        It’s a shame that I have to hate you now.

      • Mojeaux

        Ha! You already thought I’m evil, so let the hate flow through you! Yes, yes, let the darkness consume you!

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        To be clear, I didn’t think that you, in particular, were evil. I was saying that everybody is so thoroughly corrupted (evil) that it doesn’t make sense to say that any of us has conquered a vice or sin. That may be a bit calvinist of me, but thats about the only part of TULIP (the acronym, not the person) that I agree with.

        I’d hate to have you think that I was pointing a finger especially at you on that one.

      • Mojeaux

        everybody is so thoroughly corrupted (evil) that it doesn’t make sense to say that any of us has conquered a vice or sin.

        We aren’t meant to, though, by virtue of the fact that God sent his son to atone for our sins. We are on a journey of improvement, and by acknowledging that I carry envy, I can then work on that.

        I think it’s vitally important to be honest with ourselves regarding our flaws and vices and try to rectify them even if we aren’t doing it “right” or the way others think we should.

        Lastly, I think it’s important not to use labels like “evil” willy nilly. It waters down that which is true evil and that which people struggle with. I think spoiling a football game for someone was an evil act because I did it just because I wanted to be an asshole right then and I regret it. I do not think that the envy I carry that I am conscious of and working to diminish is evil.

        I don’t know how Calvinistic that makes me, but I don’t think in black and white. I can’t afford to because I will drive myself mad with how hopeless it is to try to be better. If one is already evil out of the gate and he will die as an evil person no matter what he does, what is the point of trying to improve?

      • Mojeaux

        Meh, forget all that. I didn’t mean to get a theological discussion going.

        Diarrhea of the fingertips.

  9. Heroic Mulatto

    I would pay 10,000 dollars, cash money, to eat Weijia Jiang’s ass while she asked me leading questions in a hostile manner.

    10,000 dollars.

    • leon

      I’ll see what i can do to get it set up.

      • Brochettaward

        A GoFundMe sounds like a good place to start.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        See? It’s thinking like that which will help you move up in this place.

      • Raven Nation

        How far can he move? He’s already the Fist of Brochetta.

    • Chipwooder

      Huh….in my personal experience, flesh can be purchased in east Asia for much less. You’d be getting rooked.

    • Fourscore

      In the dark? Maybe, just maybe.

    • Florida Man

      She is attractive, but not 10k hooker attractive.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        I will duel any man who continues to besmirch the honor of my fair princess of Cathay.

      • leon

        Cathy? I thought you were into the Jiang chick?

      • Florida Man

        I chose lit farts as the weapons. Let’s see, if we are going to duel at noon, I should start eating beans at 6 am.

      • Fourscore

        As long as its duel and not dual. Not accepting either challenge today.

      • Bobarian LMD

        From his link selection, I’m guessing it’s more the ” leading questions in a hostile manner” that really trips his kink meter.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      Have you tried contacting her on Twitter?

      • AlexinCT

        LET IT RAIN FOR THE PRINCESS OF CATHAY!

      • Bobarian LMD

        Have you tried contRacting her on Twitter?

    • Ted S.

      You’re going to drive off Lord Humongous again.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    I wish President Cartoon Villain really were the ruthless authoritarian murderer people pretend he is. There would be a rapidly dwindling supply of White House press corps members. And that would be an unalloyed good.

    • Fourscore

      I laughed, picturing the same event in North Korea.

      • juris imprudent

        In North Korea they are the pressed corpse.

    • IntraveneousWoodChipper

      No you have it all wrong.

      These brave Servants of Truth are the only thing keeping the Orange Sauron from beginning a mass murder campaign.

      • Yusef drives a Kayak

        I’m not an Orc….

      • Yusef drives a Kayak

        Oac? an Orc that identifies as a Condensing unit?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Goblin?

    • invisible finger

      I was watching a q&a with some former White House press secretaries (clinton, Bush, Obama) from about 8 years ago. They all said the press corps is rapidly dwindling because newspapers have all slowly closed their DC bureaus so it’s now dominated by national TV news and all they care about is getting face time for their reporter. There used to be a morning session where the press would hand the press secretary the questions they wanted answers to which the press secretary would provide in the afternoon,but the TV news outlets would rarely show up for those. Because the print press is down to about 3 or 4 reporters, even they stopped showing up during the Obama adminstration.

      Basically, it should now be called the Drama Corps rather than the Press Corps, because they are not interested in providing information.

  11. Scruffy Nerfherder

    News Flash: John Brennan is Jon Lovitz

    President Trump’s spy chief is reportedly declassifying information that shows CIA Director John Brennan “suppressed” intelligence on Russia wanting Hillary Clinton to win the 2016 election.

    You see the Russians they, they, ummmm…. they wanted Trump to win! Yeah, that’s the ticket!

    • leon

      DAMN RUSSIANS! They need to make up their mind so we can figure out what they want and take it from them.

    • wdalasio

      Should any of us be at all surprised? The guy perjured himself in front of the Senate. And that was before Donald Trump even thought of running. The guy should have been thrown in jail.

    • Drake

      Of course Putin wanted Hillary to win. Has there ever been a candidate easier to manipulate, bribe, and \ or blackmail? I assume they had copies of everything that flowed through her bootleg server. They knew she’d be corrupt and incompetent.

      • juris imprudent

        “One of us, one of us”! [in Russian of course]

      • Spartacus

        They don’t even really have to do that. Just make “donations” to the Clinton Foundation.

        What ever happened to that anyway?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It died during a totally normal, not suspicious at all mugging. Then it shot itself in the back of the head, twice.

      • Nephilium

        It’s still limping along, just waiting for Chelsea to make a run at something.

      • R C Dean

        Funny how their donations dried up in November of 2016. Why would that happen just because a Clinton lost an election? Its a mystery.

        Of course the Russians preferred Hillary. Between the tens of millions they lined her pockets with via her foundation, and Allah only knows what compromat they had on her, why on Earf wouldn’t they?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      The Russians were just sending mixed signals and trying to sow discord which they did an admirable job of. Don’t forget though that Hillary was perfectly happy with starting a direct war with them over Syria so I seriously doubt they wanted her to win.

  12. Certified Public Asshat

    “Most of us feel that the number of deaths are likely higher than that number, because given the situation particularly in New York City when they were really strapped with a very serious challenge to their health care system, that there may have been people who died at home who did have Covid who were not counting as Covid, because they never really got to the hospital,” Fauci said.

    What are we talking here, +10 or so?

    • Drake

      Again – a guy who fell off a ladder and was pronounced at our local hospital was listed as a Covid death because he tested positive. Their numbers are meaningless bullshit.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Don’t be so cynical, he probably fell from the coughing so it’s legit.

      • Akira

        Given that things like that are being counted as COVID-19 deaths, I highly doubt that there are significant numbers of people dying of respiratory failure at home who are not going into that tally.

      • Bobarian LMD

        ^^This.

      • Don Escaped Australians

        we’ll know next year; nothing to quibble about for now

        / remembers Puerto Rico

    • juris imprudent

      No I think he might be talking about the nursing homes that Cuomo ordered to take in infected persons.

    • Endless Mike

      They actually counted all of the maybes as Covid deaths in NYC whether they were tested or not.

  13. Certified Public Asshat

    Not the bee:

    Former acting CDC director Richard Besser, former HHS secretary Kathleen Sebelius and activist Greta Thunberg join @AndersonCooper & @DrSanjayGupta for a live#CNNTownHall. Coronavirus – Facts and Fears, Thursday at 8 p.m. ET pic.twitter.com/I4FrXgwaL6— CNN (@CNN) May 13, 2020

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Lame, already posted in AM links.

    • AlexinCT

      I second that emotion…

  14. Florida Man

    The Patreon link doesn’t work. How do I find the hat?

    • Florida Man

      Fund I meant to say.

  15. juris imprudent

    The Bee does it again!

    California Police Attempt To Arrest Elon Musk’s Holographic Decoy As Real Musk Escapes On Rocket To Mars

  16. DEG

    I did not give her my credit card number.

    Smart move.

    • R C Dean

      No need. He gave her his bank account routing info.

  17. Ownbestenemy

    Rummages through fridge…smoking a pork loin it is. Now to decide to wrap it in bacon or not. I kid myself, its getting wrapped.

  18. AlexinCT

    Minnesoda gay? That pic, I mean…

  19. The Late P Brooks

    They don’t even really have to do that. Just make “donations” to the Clinton Foundation.

    What ever happened to that anyway?

    The Foundation? It’s in suspended animation, awaiting a new Democratic administration. Once Bill is on the Supreme Court, there will be a sharp uptick in donations.

    • Gender Traitor

      “The fact of the matter is these protests, in a perverse way, make it likelier that we are going to have to stay in a stay-home posture,” Whitmer said.

      Does it somehow help her image among the Karens to come off as a childish bitch?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I don’t think she gets it at all.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Does it somehow help her image among the Karens to come off as a childish bitch?

        Yes, because she’s saying what they think.

      • The Other Kevin

        Apparently she never got the memo stating that if you find yourself in a hole, you should stop digging.

      • R C Dean

        I love that she said what she was doing was “perverse”.

    • Tres Cool

      I bet she’s a blast at parties.

      • The Other Kevin

        If SNL were funny that would make a great skit.

      • Drake

        Somebody like Molly Shannon who can do crazy eyes would be perfect.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yas! Shannon would tackle that bit perfectly…or funny ..Garofalo, not current Garofalo.

        Or this chick

        https://youtu.be/FwU0K9rRzs8

      • Lady Z

        WTF did I just watch.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Never seen that? Back in the olden days of late 2000s she did short little bits on marketing ads targetting women

      • Lady Z

        No never ran across that one.

        I’ll give her the shoe truck, that was funny.

      • WTF

        Stop it, you know they don’t mock Democrats.

      • The Other Kevin

        Yep. They could be having a BBQ, having a good time, and someone says “Oh great Gretchen just got here.” Everyone commences eye rolling. As she walks in everyone pretends to be polite, then she launches into nitpicking everything for safety. The grill is too close to the house, that chair is wobbly, etc. She could be a recurring character – Buzzkill Gretchen.

      • The Other Kevin

        LOL a guy at my old job used to call me that, after I told him about something I saw on the History Channel.

      • Bobarian LMD

        So we should start referring to you as “The Other Gretchen”?

    • The Other Kevin

      Those few dozen people are going to bend the curve in the wrong direction.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Just like old times

    A woman was shot and killed in her Louisville, Kentucky, home by police executing a “botched’ search warrant who forced their way in, surprising the woman and her boyfriend who thought the officers were burglars, her family says in a lawsuit.

    The lawsuit — filed by the family of the woman, Breonna Taylor, an EMT worker — says she and her boyfriend thought they were being burglarized and he fired in self defense. The lawsuit accuses the three officers of “blindly firing” more than 20 shots into the apartment.

    After the March 13 incident, the Louisville Metro Police Department said the officers had knocked on the door several times and “announced their presence as police who were there with a search warrant.” After forcing their way in, they “were immediately met by gunfire,” Lt. Ted Eidem said at a news conference.

    If she didn’t want to get shot by the police, she shouldn’t have been in the wrong house. And they definitely shouldn’t have been allowed to fire that gun recklessly.

    • Tres Cool

      I remember reading that. Of course there’s no mention of body cameras on the cops.

      • juris imprudent

        I did read about that – they were special and didn’t have to wear cameras.

        Isn’t that convenient?

    • Florida Man

      I’m sure the officers knocked and identified themselves, even they they requested a no-knock raid warrant.

    • leon

      Look the cop says he announced himself. On the no-knock warrant. So who are you gonna believe? Him or the dead woman they killed?

    • juris imprudent

      Qualified Immunity! Qualified Immunity!

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Taylor, 26, was shot eight times by police. Walker, 27, was arrested and charged with assault and attempted murder on a police officer. An attorney for Walker could not immediately be reached.

    ——-

    Records show that the police investigation was centered around a “trap house” more than 10 miles from Taylor’s apartment, and that a judge had approved a “no-knock” search warrant, meaning officers did not have to identify themselves, according to The Courier-Journal.

    The lawsuit states that Taylor and her boyfriend, Kenneth Walker, were asleep in their bedroom when police in plainclothes and unmarked vehicles arrived at the house looking for a suspect who lived in a different part of the city and was already in police custody.

    The three officers entered Taylor’s home “without knocking and without announcing themselves as police officers,” the suit states.

    Good shoot.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      So the cops say they knocked but they had a no-knock warrant and were in plainclothes. I buy it, yeahhhhh, that’s the ticket!

  22. The Late P Brooks

    Does it somehow help her image among the Karens to come off as a childish bitch?

    She’s not a bitch, she’s a strong woman. Only a pig ignorant misogynist would confuse her strength and mature wisdom for childishness.

    Go to your room and think about what you have done.

    • juris imprudent

      And don’t come out until you are ready to apologize.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Of course there’s no mention of body cameras on the cops.

    They malfunctioned simultaneously from a highly contagious computer virus.

    • Mad Scientist

      If they were “police in plainclothes and unmarked vehicles,” would they even have body cameras?

      • Tres Cool

        I have a feeling that if they had the right info and it was a proper arrest, they’d be lording that around during the suspect’s arraignment.

        But just supposition.

  24. Ownbestenemy

    Swung by the market today and noticed that as meat products shrink, empty shelves are being filled with other items. Is that overstock items that otherwise would be in the back storeroom or is that a ploy to make it not look so light in selection?

    Maybe L0bot could expound on that

    • DEG

      A ploy to make the store look not so empty.

    • Nephilium

      I’d lean towards the second. When I worked retail having an empty space on the shelf was a no-no. You’d fill it with other products and flip the price tag to the blank side.

      • Gustave Lytton

        That would be nice. The lazy idiots around here think sticking the wrong product and leaving the tag unchanged is perfectly ok. Oh wait, despite what the shelf says, this isn’t plain tomato sauce?

      • Nephilium

        It was more to avoid people screaming about incorrect prices then what the name on the tags/products.

    • Don Escaped Australians

      a/ enterprise software decides what is sent to the store, so the inventory is available or it isn’t
      b/ stock crews put out what they have; stores have run with empty “back rooms” for decades at this point
      c/ retail grocery is up because no one has been eating out
      d/ manufacturing to meet increase retail demand with reduced/sick/scared staffs has not been easy
      e/ so retail can move stuff around, but there’s going to be empty space somewhere, just a matter of picking what and where
      f/ ?
      g/ PROFIT !!!

      / grocer’s son

    • Ted S.

      My grocery store had a reasonable amount of meat, but were out of deli liverwurst.

      And the big containers of ricotta. I was going to make baked ziti this weekend. 🙁

      Now I have to stop home on the way from work tomorrow to see if one of the other chains has ricotta.

    • Bobarian LMD

      If you have problems with your meat product shrinking, you might try trimming your hair differently?

      Or take one of those pills. Ask RC.

  25. DEG

    Gauleiterin Whitmer preparing for tomorrow’s protests in Lansing, MI

    The governor’s current stay-at-home order, which usually requires people to stay inside their residences to prevent the spread of COVID-19, is in place through May 28.

    Michigan officials are bracing Wednesday for the next protest as debates about security precautions in the Capitol have heightened.

    Michigan United for Liberty, the group organizing the event, said it expects “demonstrators to be the peaceful, law-abiding citizens that we are.”

    The group’s purpose “is to convey to our lawmakers, state officials and the public that the people of Michigan will passionately defend our freedom and prosperity,” Michigan United for Liberty said in a Wednesday statement.

    Take a look at the linked twitter posts from the Michigan State Police.

    • DEG

      Uhhh…. yeah…

      /puts dunce cap on

    • R C Dean

      I love the announcement:

      “Followed by speakers and tacos”.

  26. Lady Z

    This is great CPRM! Would love to see the HOTUS fact check column make a regular appearance.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      Why do you hate SugarFree, Lazy Z?

      • Lady Z

        I’m not buying it. This is way too clean to be SugarFree. If I’m mistaken, please accept my humblest apologies.

        And it’s “Lady Z” to you, sir.

    • WTF

      The Democrats are going to pull a Torricelli and replace Biden at the last minute with someone who never had to run against or debate Trump.

      • The Other Kevin

        At this point it’s probably their best move. A generic Democrat polls well against Trump, but specific ones do not. So the less the public knows about the candidate, the better he/she will do.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Well they could run Whitmer and get the nationwide lockdown they want

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        They can’t do a damn thing before the convention or they risk a full scale revolt by the Bernie-Bros.

    • Ownbestenemy

      So a staffer rubber stamped it..

    • grrizzly

      Grenell is one of the very few good appointments that Trump has made.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        He has cajones, I’ll give him that. This is going to make him some powerful enemies.

    • leon

      : raises eyebrows:

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Why are Treasury officials asking to unmask the subject of a classified investigation?

      And Samantha Power and the ambassador to Italy?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        And the Deputy Secretary of Energy? WTF?

      • Ownbestenemy

        People willing to go along with it..thats who you find

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It says to me that there were was a concerted effort to unmask that came from the top. If enough people asked enough times….

        And it provides cover for any one individual.

      • Gustave Lytton

        And a bunch of nato hoohahs. And the president’s chief of staff.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It’s unreal.

        You have to assume that the entire White House was involved in corrupt dealings and spying on political rivals/threats. That’s not a minor deal. This wasn’t a lone actor or two. This was the entire administration.

      • Gustave Lytton

        It’s only because they were all very concerned about foreign interference in the election and transition. America’s warriors for truth and justice.

      • Ownbestenemy

        CoS is bigger than VP IMHO. It shows the depth of it and they have the full weight of the POTUS behind them so it makes sense to see all these different players trying to unmask

    • Ownbestenemy

      Chief of Staff might be more interesting…they run interference for the Big Man so their hands don’t dirty…

      • Gustave Lytton

        I guess Biden’s own chief of staff didn’t have enough pull to keep Biden’s name off the list? I doubt half of those people actually asked themselves rather than an underling asked on their behalf.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Or didn’t want to play the game. There are some people that actually stop and say no…very few…but they exist

    • Ownbestenemy

      When was the actual unmasking?

      • leon

        12-Jan-2017 is when the request was made i think

      • Ownbestenemy

        I thought Rice took the hit on that and no one cared. At least what I could find on the internet. Of course this shows that a sizable amount of Obama operatives were trying before that.

      • leon

        Oh, when was the actual leak? I don’t remember. 12-Jan is when Biden made the request.

    • R C Dean

      I want to hear the “need to know” for every person on that list.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        This could be fun to watch.

        And to top it off, Sessions is looking more and more like a compromised schmuck with each passing day.

      • Ownbestenemy

        U.S.C Section F, subsection Y, paragraph T, reference W

    • Mad Scientist

      Can some one give me the short version about what unmasking as all about, and why it matters if Biden’t name is on this list?

      • leon

        This is my understanding, feel free to correct

        when doing surveilance of Foreigners, the intelligence agency is required to “Mask” the identities of US citizens, sense spying on citizens is supposed to be illegal, and ostensibly to keep politicians from being able to do what they were doing. However it is possible to request that an identity be “unmasked” i.e revealed, under some specific circumstances (i’m ignorant of, i imagine having to do with Nat Sec).

      • leon

        296 unmasking defined: when FISA is being used to surveil Foreign Contacts, such as the Russian Ambassador, US Law is that any Americans on that call must have their names “masked” from the record, because of Constitutional provisions like the 4th amendment and the like. (You can’t run secret investigation on American citizens without Probably Cause, dontcha know, or so the story goes)

        SO if there is some special reason this person should be identified, this name can be “Unmasked”, but the official who asks for that must record his name and the date he asked for this to be done, since it is supposed to be quite unusal and rare. These records show that the Obama administration was grossly abusing this power and using it to surveil hundreds of people, presumably all of their political opponents.

        This is political corruption of the highest level, it truly is 100 times worse than any crime committed during Watergate.
        Posted by: Tom Servo

        A better explanation. Now unless we are saying that the Ambasador to UN, White House Chief of Staff, and Vice President are law enforcement and investigation officials….

      • R C Dean

        The rules are that the people who are surveilled/wiretapped (but are not the nominal target?) are kept confidential. Revealing their names is “unmasking”.

        The question is, why would Biden want to unmask Flynn?

      • Ownbestenemy

        If NSA scoops up an American in a foreign surveillance. American citizens are to be masked and only a “need to know” person can unmask. So when you see a bunch of underlings listed above…as RC asked, what was their “need to know”…

    • leon

      Maybe this doesn’t work the way i think it does but why did Samantha Powers make 5 requests? did she keep forgetting? or did she keep getting denied?

      • R C Dean

        I think she submitted five separate unmasking requests relating to five separate surveillance/wiretapping operations.

        While they aren’t supposed to know who the US citizens are they are unmasking when they make the request, I strongly suspect a little birdie in the intelligence community would have told her which requests would show Flynn.

      • leon

        I also what on earth the UN ambasador could say to give her some reason to know about a counter intel investigation.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Power knew who it was.

        She’s a long time Russia hawk, a liberal journalist with a JD who got promoted to the NSC by Obama. She’s totally and completely beholden to Barry.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Thats probably true. Why ask 5 times on an surveillance op unless you know already who was scooped up.

    • bacon-magic

      Wow.

    • Ownbestenemy

      I was brave…and not disappointed

  27. Gustave Lytton

    Fuck Kroger. Despite empty shelves for days, their website still shows bread flour and Pepcid in stock. So I placed a pickup order for both. And chose no substitutions. 6:30am this morning, the pickup shopper calls to say they’re out of stock (duh) but they sub other items in. Of course the website still continues to show inventory there and neighboring stores.

    • Don Escaped Australians

      “inferred”

      progs can wear tinfoil, too

    • R C Dean

      They “inferred” it from circumstantial evidence.

      (1) The server had close to zero security.
      (2) It was probably one of the the highest value intelligence targets on the entire planet.
      (3) Russian intelligence and IT capabilities are top-notch.

      Hell, I’d still be surprised if the Russians (and probably others, including the Israelis and the Chinese) didn’t have complete copies of everything that went through her private email account.

      • Nephilium

        I would assume anything going through that server was shared. Man in the Middle attacks can be pretty effective.

      • hayeksplosives

        The Russians didn’t even need skilled hackers! They got a password from an unsophisticated phishing email. But it worked, so now rather than admit that the password was “password”, they conjure an image of rooms full of Boris and Natasha types working tech miracles to break in to the server.

      • Nephilium

        The phishing attack is a joke in and of itself, but that would only provide access to one account. Based on the reports, I’d figure that server was more infected then most honeypot servers.

        /wonders how many times they worked with “Microsoft support” to clear a virus off their machines.

      • R C Dean

        The phishing attack is a joke in and of itself, but that would only provide access to one account.

        Would it? While I gather there are any number of things a phishing attack can do, my understanding is that one can provide pretty comprehensive access to a network depending on its payload.

      • leon

        My understanding is that it would really depend on who got fished. server hacking, while it can be done by getting a sys admins credentials, is usually about exploiting flaws in code that can “accidentally” give a Malicious user root access.

      • R C Dean

        The phishing attacks we worry about are the ones where you click on a link or attachment, which delivers some kind of malware to the system. Its not so much getting an individual’s credentials as it is bypassing the firewalls.

        Caveat: I am not an IT anything.

      • Nephilium

        Phishing is to gain users credentials, usually as a precursor to more sophisticated attacks. Any installation of software is a different attack, which should be moot in most cases, as you shouldn’t be running as a user who can install software to begin with. They can be tied together, but malware installation is a different thing. Once you can gain access to a system, you can start probing remotely, as well as send in requests from internal e-mail.

        The best phishing attacks operate as MITM attacks, you see the correct web page, but you’re being routed through a different server. So you log in, and everything looks fine, but someone else now has your credentials.

        While there are groups of hackers, and malware out there. Quite a bit of “hacking” exploits the weakest link in security. The users.

      • grrizzly

        This is the other server: the DNC server. Not Hillary’s email server.

      • R C Dean

        Got it. My bad.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      We knew this already because they refused to turn over the server. If there was evidence of it, the DNC would have been touting it up and down all of DC.

    • leon

      So…. How bout them debunked conspiracy theories about crowdstrike…

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I just want to see some of the reactions from the lower level guys on that unmasking list today. They know they’re going to get hung out to dry.

        There’s a lot of pants-shitting going on.

      • R C Dean

        If we had law enforcement or Congressional committees with any real interest in sorting out just what the fuck was going on, that would be a great witness list.

        If. I don’t think we do, myself.

      • juris imprudent

        Brennan and Clapper are of course on the list. Lot of other folks that make no sense, and even less sense for that to have been classified (until 2045 per the original designation). Nothing at all to do with national security – but a lot to do with partisan security. Mother fuckers.

  28. R C Dean

    If I were to attend a lockdown protest (unlikely, Gov. Ducey (Idiot-AZ) has managed to loosen up enough to keep me from travelling to Phoenix, I would go with a red inverted triangle under a red bar on my mask – Nazi for political prisoner.