In light of the three day weekend with a fair number of you still on a form of lockdown, the thought occurred to me there will be a number of war movies on this weekend. I am reminded of the time at CST, where the Army gave us Air Force people a crash course on playing Army for a month prior to my first tour in Iraq where I met MSgt. Daniels (or we’ll just call him that). He was the nicest guy in the world. More on that later.
This is my review of Trejo‘s Cerveza Mexican Lager (Hecho in LA)
We were killing time after chow and somebody put on a war movie. Most war movies are okay but when they get them wrong, they really get them wrong. Here’s a rundown of some that are just godawful and why:
Pearl Harbor
Somehow they made a film about, arguably the most infamous attack on America into a romantic comedy. Why a comedy? Because out of a three and a half hour movie, this is a joke for three hours of it. To its credit, there a few stories where they dramatize actual heroic events from the battle, mostly the ten minutes Cuba Gooding Jr. was on screen. Alex Baldwin portrays Jimmy Doolittle in such a cringey and wooden manner, the puppet that played him on Team America would be preferable. This film relies far too heavily on Kate Beckingsale in grandma’s swimsuit to cover up its failures as a war movie.
Green Berets
Burly white cowboys? Oh my.
John Wayne plays John Wayne’s ego in every John Wayne movie. Prove me wrong.
Other problems include it obviously being propaganda designed to change perceptions of the Vietnam War. Obvious how? The Vietnamese were portrayed as inhuman savages while Special Forces acted out of pure benevolence. Historical inconsistencies such as George Takei playing an ex-Viet Minh(who were Communist guerrillas during WW2, BTW) torturing captured Viet Cong did not help either.
This is a western movie set in Vietnam without any redeeming qualities found in westerns. The base is called “Dodge City”, because “the Alamo” was too obvious, apparently. They called the Vietnamese countryside “Indian Country”, and even had a cavalry charge.
John Wayne was in his 60’s when this movie was filmed and in one scene shouldered an M-16 upside down.
The Thin Red Line/Saving Private Ryan
Private Ryan was an expertly shot, choreographed, and executed film with an all-star cast playing relatable characters of ordinary men in extraordinary circumstances. Tom Hanks delivers his customary “aw shucks” performance seen in films such as Toy Story, Joe vs. the Volcano, and Turner and Hooch. Except this time he had Matt Damon to bail him out instead of an adorable French Mastiff. The storyline itself required the extremely realistic intro at Omaha Beach in order to suspend disbelief of the highly unlikely plot. Sending all those guys just to find one man? Thats hard enough to do, even today. In the end the plot was predictable, as was the dialogue, waxing poetic to manipulate the emotions of the audience. Matt Damon didn’t earn anything. They introduced “shaky cam” which anybody thats ever seen a Jason Bourne movie loves to hate.
People also forget The Thin Red Line came out around the same time, and was also nominated for Oscars. This one however, is set in the Pacific theater, and stars Sean Penn. There is no redeeming factor to giving that man a job.
Apocalypse Now Redux
“I have grown to accept and even prefer the noxious smell of napalm in the morning…..wait… I can come up with a better line, can I get another take?”
It was fine the first time, assholes.
Jarhead
Worst. Facial. Ever.
Back to Msgt. Daniels…who was the nicest guy in the world. A bit on the older side of things as far as the military goes but not surprising given he was a reservist from a REDHORSE unit in Florida. He happened to be Pavements/Heavy Equipment (commonly called “dirt boys), not that his AFSC mattered at the time. A few guys were killing time in the barracks after chow by watching Jarhead. The ”climax” of movie is set at a Kuwaiti airfield where a sniper team is assigned to kill a single Iraqi general in a building on the other side of the airfield. They are interrupted by an officer, seemingly one of a dozen antagonists, trying to get them on the radio to stand down. The general was killed in an airstrike on the field and the scene ends with both Marines being emotionally distraught from training for years only to find out the Air Force will win the war for them. “We’re dialed in Sir, please just let us kill him!?” He says it doesn’t matter the guy is dead anyways and the general dies in an enormous fireball which happens to destroy the airfield in the process…
”SO THATS THE SON OF A BITCH THAT MADE ME STAY IN KUWAIT FOR FOUR MORE MONTHS? FUCK THAT GUY.”
We all turned and saw MSgt Daniels, confused because we never heard him curse before.
The problem I have with this movie like nearly every Vet my age, is I served with others who happened to be old enough to corroborate the events in the movie. Many of the stories portrayed in the movie, and the book, often criticize Tony Swofford for exaggerating his experiences. In some cases people called him a liar, specifically with regard to how he portrayed others within his unit. While I am inclined to believe there are stories that are true but exaggerated based on MSgt Daniels being stuck in the desert repairing that airfield, we don’t really know where the truth ends and fiction begins. For example, stories such as the scene with the Deerhunter tape. This is a myth that comes up from time to time on the internet that supposedly began in Panama, that has multiple variations, including a British version. Saying he saw the actual tape is hard to believe because there are so many versions of the story that popped up in the 80’s.
Most of the reason people hate this book and movies (there are sequels) can be summarized here in the negative Amazon reviews of his book: its a memoir of a narcissistic clown that complained for over 200 pages about how much he hated the Marines because everyone he met rightly concluded he was a shitbird that got lucky he published a book critical of the military in the middle of an unpopular war about his experiences in a similar war. If there is anything we learned from Full Metal Jacket, its entirely possible to make a movie with an antiwar message without insulting everyone along the way. He essentially rode the Salon crowd’s coattails to riches. Otherwise, it has a few good one-liners.
If the guy on the can looks familiar it is because Danny Trejo has played multiple bit roles as a Mexican tough guy in such films as Desperado, Machete, and Spy Kids. He has a knack for capitalizing on his celebrity. This is essentially Modelo, without the noticeable adjuncts, which is not a terrible thing and is actually pretty good. Happy Memorial Day, and please don’t thank me for my service… Trejo‘s Cerveza Mexican Lager (Hecho in LA) 3.0/5.
The oversight of not reviewing Kelly’s Heroes is inexcusable.
He’s waiting for straff to watch it first.
Kelly’s Heros was excellent. I’ll watch it should I come across it this weekend.
He specifically said he was reviewing godawful movies.
Oddball- the hero we all deserve
“It’s a mother beautiful bridge. And, it’s gonna be there.”
Easily one of Sutherland’s best performances. It has a tank attack scene were Oddball’s Shermans play country music on a loudspeaker attached to one of the turrets – 9 years before the “Ride of the Valkyries” sequence in Apocalypse now.
Fantastic cast of supporting characters, including a young Harry Dean Stanton. Don Rickles is great (“Maybe he’s a Republican.”)
I’m pretty sure John Ridley said Kelly’s Heroes was an inspiration to write Three Kings.
Also, it has a cool Lalo Schifrin score.
I kind of like a Modelo every now and then.
“So- make a deal.”
“What kind of a deal?”
“A DEAL deal. Maybe the guy’s a Republican.”
One of the all time great film dialog exchanges.
Assuming this has made rounds
https://www.thegatewaypundit.com/2020/05/second-video-20-yr-old-boxer-coronavirus-sent-michigan-nursing-home-last-week-filmed-2nd-beating-old-white-patient-still-cops-came-week-later/
Trejo has (had?) a taqueria on Highland Ave in Mid-city LA. Good tacos.
Midway (1976) was a great war movie.
I dispute that. An unnecessary and improbable romance. Footage of kamikaze strikes years too early and not supported by history. Even when I saw it in a theater when it came out pissed off a teenaged Quarter Eagle.
Kelly’s Heroes gets a thumbs up. The movie MASH does as well.
The Longest Day was very good since it stuck more closely to the history. John Wayne was older at filming than the LTC he portrayed and BG Teddy Roosevelt Jr looked a lot more like a muleskinner than Henry Fonda- but I give them a pass.
“John has a long mustache. I say again. John has a long mustache.”
Agreed. Midway (1976) has some good moments, and is relatively close to accurate in some sequences. But, the subplot with Heston’s son was stupid. It has too many of those moments that detract from what makes it good.
Fun fact: the 1976 Midway was one of a handful of films released in “Sensurround.” John Williams occasionally performs the “March from Midway” in his concerts.
The Midway released last year, despite being directed by Roland Emmerich (who decorated his NY home with awful Soviet era artwork), was surprisingly historically accurate, and much better than I anticipated.
If you want a great, 1970s era war film that’s historically accurate, check out Tora! Tora! Tora!
The mighty Jerry Goldsmith scored both this and Patton that year,
Agreed. Midway (1976) has some good moments, and is relatively close to accurate in some sequences. But, the subplot with Heston’s son was stupid. It has too many of those moments that detract from what makes it good.
Fun fact: the 1976 Midway was one of a handful of films released in “Sensurround.” John Williams occasionally performs the “March from Midway” in his concerts.
The Midway released last year, despite being directed by Roland Emmerich (who decorated his NY home with awful Soviet era artwork), was surprisingly historically accurate, and much better than I anticipated.
If you want a great, 1970s era war film that’s historically accurate, check out Tora! Tora! Tora!
The mighty Jerry Goldsmith scored both this and Patton in 1970.
John Wayne plays John Wayne’s ego in every John Wayne movie. Prove me wrong.
Maybe not in Trouble Along the Way, but that’s neither a western not a war movie.
I just watched The Wings of Eagles last night. Spig Wead was probably an interesting character in real life, but unfortunately he’s played here by John Wayne, and worse, directed by John Ford.
There’s also McQ.
From Here To Eternity was good.
You just want to be in a three-way with Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr.
The movie that coined the phrase “Have you got sand in your vagina or something?”
That must be in the director’s cut.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9WRNIUN2U5Y
Obligatory. Of course, some prefer Where Eagles Dare
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=46TKmvPDGGs
Twelve O’Clock High is another really good war movie.
Was it filmed on 4/20?
Maximum Effort!
Very good that one. And so is the anti-leadership model in “The Caine Mutiny”. The CM needed another 5-7 minutes to follow up on the aftermath of the court martial. That was key in the book.
Hamburger Hill, despite some inaccuracy.
In the wider circle of military movies, Best Years of Our Lives.
And two movies that get some things dead on even if the plot is utter crap, In the Army Now and Buffalo Soldiers.
In the Army Now
“Fine, prove to me you’re gay, and I’ll kick you out of the Army. Now kiss him.”
In the Army Now is hilarious.
I grew up on Bridge Over the River Kwai and Dirty Dozen.
My uncle gave me a copy of this. It made BOtRK unwatchable. Whistling while they worked. The reality was brutal.
Vodka and Emergen-C with Perrier. The breakfast drink of champions.
I am on Trailer Park Mimosa #5. Pretty sure mango nectar has vitamin C so they are healthy.
Private Ryan was an expertly shot, choreographed, and executed film with an all-star cast playing relatable characters…
I don’t even give it that much credit. It was just an absolutely terrible movie.
Best war movie of all time: The Caine Mutiny.
And then there’s the porn version- “Shaving Ryan’s Privates”
/checks IMDB
Holy shit!
You seriously didn’t know that?
I seriously didn’t.
It’s a terrible short. One joke that wears thin, even in it’s brief running time.
But everyone should watch the first 15 minutes before they decide to call anyone else a hero.
And you know what…the guys who stormed those beaches weren’t even considered heroes at the time. Just doing their job. Think about that. You had to do something above and beyond storming Omaha Beach to be considered a hero in the 1940s.
I like the movie just for the reality of war portrayed in the first 15 minutes. After that…meh
I agree with you. The first 15 minutes are powerful as hell. I turn it off after that.
Anyone who thinks Saving Private Ryan isn’t a technically marvelous film really needs to back that up with specifics. Setting aside the silliness of the main story, that film is a bravura piece of technical mastery – directing, cinematography, editing, sound, score, production design – it’s fucking impressive. There really isn’t much shaky camera in that film at all.
One can pick a lot of incredible sequences of filmmaking beyond just the Omaha beach one. Beyond that, it gave a whole new generation of filmgoers an appreciation for what their WW2 veteran relatives went through. No one had shown how awful and violent combat could be in a WW2 film before Ryan. People expected realistic and graphic battle violence in Vietnam movies, because that was the “wrong” war (and yes, it was a mistake).
I don’t know much about war movies but I enjoy this video.
I ruined American Sniper for my ex. She didn’t know it’s based on a real guy.
Best war movie ever “South Pacific”.
https://youtu.be/BmsOaip-YE8
Plus this. https://youtu.be/Zzu8ZxBHMWk
The Final Countdown. //Jk
The Patriot. Also jk. That one is fun but it gets everything from linear warfare to uniforms wrong, among other things.
I considered adding Revolution but I’d have to include The Patriot.
Mister Roberts.
William Powell was excellent.
One of my favorites.
I love Mr. Roberts and watch it several times per year. There is a GLARING continuity error that enrages me every time I see it though. When the fellow (Trevor?) rides his motorcycle off of the dock, the dock is empty. However, in the previous scene, the SP has already deployed all over the dock with a dozen or more sailors and a couple trucks.
I sail every week where Mr Roberts was filmed (Kanehoe Bay, Oahu). Very good movie with great characters on a forgotten aspect of modern war.
The dock in question is still there and still used.
Not a Movie, but
Band of Brothers
2nd best war movie “The Sound of Music” https://youtu.be/hwK_WOXjfc0
I like the scene with the two nuns wanting to confess that they sabotaged the Nazi car engine so that the VonTrapps could escape.
Pearl Harbor does kind of suck. But I do love me some Kate Beckingsale.
Midway is good and sticks far closer to the actual history than most historically based movies. They even recreated a couple shots of video taken during the actual event that you have probably seen on history shows about it.
Best War Movie: Pan’s Labyrinth
Salon, with a typically nuanced and sober take
Like many disasters, the beginnings of the Michigan dam failures are far removed in time from the actual event, so this event can hardly be described as a mistake. All indications are that this week’s historic flooding was caused by years of neglect and mismanagement of a public good that was co-opted for private profit. It doesn’t help that the headquarters of Dow Chemical, including a Superfund site with known cancer-causing chemicals, is directly downstream of all this floodwater.
Public good! Private profit! SPFSBLITZISS!!!
I thought it was the other way around, that the dam was built privately and taken over by the government.
The company that owned the dam still had to ask permission from the state to lower the water level in the lake. Which was denied, due to endangered species threat.
It’s Love Canal all over again, and like Love Canal today’s vicious lies will become the accepted history of tomorrow.
*sips Guinness*
The best war movie is Empire Strikes Back.
And Guinness is the best beer.
Troll harder
The best war movie is…Austin Powers.
Indiana Jones.
/drops mic
Dayum. Neph may be right.
The Lion King
Empire Strikes Back had the best song of the series: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9t-slLl30E
Guinness is the Budweiser of stouts, but I like ’em both.
fun beer facts from wiki
***
The history of stout and porter are intertwined.[5] The name “stout”, used for a dark beer, is believed to have come about because strong porters were marketed under such names as “extra porter”, “double porter”, and “stout porter”. The term stout porter would later be shortened to just stout. For example, Guinness Extra Stout was originally called “Extra Superior Porter” and was only given the name “Extra Stout” in 1840.[6] Even today, there are not many distinctions between stouts and porters, the terms are used by different breweries almost interchangeably to describe dark beers, and the two styles have more in common than in distinction.[7]
***
Yinz are all fucked! Best war movie EVAH is clearly Top Gun!
*runs from room*
I’m holding judgement until I see the sequel.
[hard stare]
Best war movie is uncommon valor. Incompetent government does nothing so privately funded mercs get it done.
One of my favorite drive-in movies ever! Gene Hackman rules!
HACK-MAN!!! is always fun. The quick and the dead is a terrible movie I have seen a dozens times because of Gene.
My brother in law works for a talent agency in LA and has met Danny Trejo a few times. Says he is a super nice guy.
This is what happens when conservatives decide to utilize an infrastructure budget to subsidize profitable businesses. It rained a lot in Michigan this week, but the private corporation in charge of the dam let this devastating flood happen as a direct result of its neglect and cost-cutting. And that’s without considering the downstream effects of the Dow Chemical plant, which is likely to make the danger and death from this flood much worse. Republicans, of course, will pretend to be mystified.
Maybe we should round up homeless people and pay them to fix all those dams. With spoons.
And that’s without considering the downstream effects of sticking a bunch of ‘vid patients into nursing home, which actually did make the danger and death from this pandemic much worse. Democrats, of course, are pretending to be mystified.
/this game is fun!
Chocolate chip cookies accomplished.
Wife made, husband approved.
Hell yeah, cookies!
Kix! Kid Tested, Mother Approved.
Sing along with the jingle:
No added sugars,
Kix doesn’t need ’em!
Lots of boogers,
Kids love to eat ’em!
Moms love Kix for what Kix has not,
Kids love Kix for what Kix has – snot!
/little niece’s version from back in the day
I’ve said it before, but the two finest war films made in America are Stalag 17 and Mr. Roberts.
Both excellent movies.
Would Dr. Strangelove be considered a war movie? If so, by default it’s the best war movie ever since it’s the best movie ever.
I think so.
I would not argue with that. Colonel Batguano, if that’s your real name.
You’re gonna have to answer to the Coca-Cola company.
It’s a classic comedy about a topic unusual for comedies, but it is neither Ghostbusters nor Monty Python and the Holy Grail. Even Army of Darkness has more quotable lines.
For me, the measure of a movie’s greatness is how often I hear people quote from it. When was the last time you heard someone quote a line from Citizen Kane?
I rest my case.
For me, the measure of a movie’s greatness is how often I hear people quote from it. When was the last time you heard someone quote a line from Citizen Kane?
Citizen Kane is “quoted” all the time by film-makers who borrow from its visual innovations. It’s not that great of a film from a story perspective, a dialogue perspective, or an acting perspective, but it is great from the one aspect of film that is unique to film as a medium – the visuals (choice of shots, framing of shots, movement of shots, etc). It has, of course, been superseded, but it is highly regarded because it inspired many imitators.
I’ve heard the “but the cinematography!” argument before. I don’t know how to rate it because I usually fall asleep around the 30 minute mark every time I’ve tried to watch it.
Gregg Toland was a tremendous cinematographer.
Watch the scene in The Best Years of Our Lives where Fredric March makes Dana Andrews call up Teresa Wright to break off their relationship.
I’ll look for it. For reference, this is what I consider great cinematography:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pfVP6HBoflg
freaked me out as a wee lad
I don’t know how to rate it because I usually fall asleep around the 30 minute mark every time I’ve tried to watch it.
That’s totally fair, for if it didn’t have such an impact on cinematography as a field it probably would have been a forgotten film. And unless you are interested in cinematography (and to a lesser extent directing) your time was probably better spent taking a nap than watching it all the way through.
Nobody quotes from Safety Last! or Steamboat Bill, Jr., but they’re both great movies.
Are they silent movies? I liked The General. That’s the train one with Buster Keaton I think. I vaguely remember a Charlie Chaplin silent movie. I think it was called Gold Rush or Klondike.
Yes, they’re both silent movies. Safety Last! has Harold Lloyd hanging onto the hands of a clock off the side of the building, while Steamboat Bill Jr. has this.
Or The General.
For a great low rate you can get online….
As the veteran of many hockey locker rooms, I can say then that the greatest movies are Caddyshack, Slapshot and Fletch.
I quote Kane all the time. Eg, “I think it would be fun to run a newspaper.” “Come right in, Mr. Kane.” “You’re awful funny, aren’t ya?” Etc., etc.
Oh, and the best: “I’ll have to close this place in sixty years.” https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0033467/quotes?item=qt0259140
The Search is excellent though post-war. Young Monty Clift, yum. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0040765
The Thin Blue Line is so tedious! Worse, I saw it in the theater. All I remember is waving grass and Woody H getting his junk shot off.
The Pentagon often helps out with war movies, but not that one. Wiki sez:
***
Lacking cooperation from the Pentagon in the making of the film, the set designers reconstructed the aircraft cockpit to the best of their ability by comparing the cockpit of a B-29 Superfortress and a single photograph of the cockpit of a B-52 and relating this to the geometry of the B-52’s fuselage. The B-52 was state-of-the-art in the 1960s, and its cockpit was off-limits to the film crew. When some United States Air Force personnel were invited to view the reconstructed B-52 cockpit, they said that “it was absolutely correct, even to the little black box which was the CRM.”[13] It was so accurate that Kubrick was concerned about whether Adam’s team had carried out all its research legally.[13]
***
Up until Strangelove himself appears, at which point you can immediately see Peter Sellers’ career pivoting to obnoxious, self-indulgent performances.
Peter Sellers is the funniest man on film.
Being There is horrible (even though it’s not a comedy), as is The Party.
And Sellers’ few scenes in The Wrong Box bring the movie to a screeching halt.
You are so totally wrong that there’s not enough wrongness in Wrongville to supply you.
Birdy Num Nums!
I’m not the freak who hates Jaws.
^PROMOTE THIS MAN!
OMWC is a man of refined tastes. He could never enjoy something as simplistic as Jaws. He prefers complex, thought-provoking entertainment…like The 3 Stooges.
Sellers may be the funniest on film, but Andy Kauffman is the funniest man because many of his pranks were for his own amusement. Billy Zane is the prettiest man on film. Powers Boothe agreed.
It’s long and slow-paced, but Lawrence of Arabia is one of my favorite war movies. I’ll even forgive the fact that they had a beefy 6 ft tall guy with blue eyes playing the title role of someone who was 5’3, thin, and probably gay. Great music and action though as well showing a lesser-known side of a lesser-known war.
As for worst war movie, Battle Los Angeles is technically sci-fi, but since the whole movie follows around a squad of Marines using conventional weapons, I say it counts.
And I agree that Pearl Harbor sucked so bad it deserves its own parody song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SsPrQgTO0HU
Other war movies I dislike: The Patriot (too schmaltzy), Top Gun (too silly), and The Thin Red Line (too boring)
Oh yeah, Tora! Tora! Tora! is probably the best WW2 movie, although Patton gives it a run for its money.
This scene sealed the deal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBt-ewflKNo
Oh yeah, Tora! Tora! Tora! is probably the best WW2 movie, although Patton gives it a run for its money.
Both good movies, but both use the slower pacing of the older style epic films that does lead them to drag at parts.
My all time Favorite Movie, it’s part of History, and Gorgeous Cinematography!
If Peter O’Toole is beefy then so is David Bowie.
Best War movie.
King Rat
Blake Edwards’ “Operation Petticoat” and “What Did You Do in the War, Daddy”.
Does Red Dawn count as a war movie, even though it never happened? I say so. The Guns of Navarrone never happened either.
The replica Soviet vehicles in Red Dawn were so accurate it attracted the interest of the CIA.
Hehehehh.
“Ensign Pulver” however is a crummy movie.
John Wayne’s ego played Ted Williams in every movie.
FTFY
It’s depiction of Omaha Beach is obviously not as graphic as Saving Private Ryan, but how would those of you with combat experience rate The Longest Day?
Pvt R opening sequence is awesome in many ways and does capture some of the phenomena I experienced in combat. I skip the rest of the movie. TLD does much better justice to Operation Overlord and Zanuck filmed in black in white so he could add actual combat camera footage. It is a better overall effort. (Trivia bit. Until Shindler’s List came out TLD was the most expensive B&W film produced.)
Another very good film is “The Cruel Sea”. Made in the 1950’s and captures the British perspective of the Atlantic Campaign. Accuracy of small details was important because they hoped to get the veterans of the campaign in the theater.
I am really starting to warm up to this Andrew Schulz guy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o5oW0ELFy9c
Those ears, though.
The Americanization of Emily.
Yes! James Garner is the handsomest man on film. Peter Sellers is the funniest man on film.
We Were Soldiers was pretty good
Oh yes
My sister-in-law gave me a DVD of Pearl Harbor for Christmas many, many, moons ago. I still haven’t forgiven her.
I nominate Full Metal Jacket, Das Boot and Patton
Das Boot and Stalingrad (by same director and NOT the terrible Ruskie version) are both excellent movies. I didn’t consider them for a Memorial Day weekend viewing because the are German in viewpoint. For a Veteran’s Day viewing cycle they are strong contenders.
For the next 50 hours or so also in viewing cycle will be “America’s Game” on the NFL Channel. Every Super Bowl season at an hour each.
The Memphis Belle is good. It was the Saving Private Ryan of its day. This scene always stuck with me:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=botILUc2eRo
Not a “war movie” per se, but a film about a war, which is enough to give me a cheap, tawdry excuse to post this moving scene. You can take issue with the passing mention of this soldier’s reason for fighting or with the justification for the war itself, but this brings home the tragedy of war with a gut punch.
Well damn. That was disappointing. Punk Rock Bowling announced livestreams for some of the bands as the event was cancelled this weekend. Each band in the session played a single song.
Does Heaven & Earth count?
I’ve never seen that*. But Joan Chen? Music by Kitaro? I gotta see this movie.
*I was on drugs between 1993-1994 so I missed alot of things that didn’t involve meth.
I didn’t miss anything that had to do with Tommy Lee Jones.
Speaking of war movies with good soundtracks and sexy Asians: Merry Christmas, Mr. Lawrence.
Starring David Bowie.
Catch .22
Empire of the Sun
Hell is for Heroes
VonRyan’s Express
Empire of the Sun is good. The psychological aspect in the camp was done well I think.
Von Ryan was a childhood favorite and I still like it now. Watched it a couple of weeks ago.
Biloxi Blues is always fun.
“It was africa hot. Even tarzan couldnt stand this heat”
When I walked off that plane in Dar es Salaam in 2007, it was midnight and still hot as hell. I soaked my bed sheet in the sink and wrapped myself with it so I could sleep.
Most of the big cities in Africa are next to the ocean or higher up where it’s cooler.
Love that one.
“No ho. It’s just plain ho.”
“My whole family’s crackers.”
Happy El Malagueña!
Something about Mike Portnoy blasting Dr. Fauci with his 300bpm floor tom quadruplets?
If any of you are in San Francisco (may Cthulhu have mercy on your soul) a visit to the Marine Memorial Hotel is worth a visit. Up on the Mezzanine floor they have all the US service member dead on individual nameplates posted in the order they were KIA. Entire walls all covered with identical nameplates. It brings home the incredible cost for the wars since September 2001.
But the costs of the current efforts pale in the lights of the rest of the 20th century. This kinda gives a glimpse of that cost.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Omd9_FJnerY&t=91s
(Every cemetery has more graves than the previous.)
Wow, kind of dusty right now……..
What in the what?
Back in the 80’s a cow-orker went to Switzerland for a work assignment. When he returned he kept a large picture of that statue over his desk. His caption was, “Kids? We LOVE kids!”
Hansel and Gretel have the same question.
Im trying to think of a Jerry Sandusky joke….
I invited people over for grilling and pool party for Memorial Day. I always forget how much clean and prep goes into hosting.
*sigh*
*Goes back to cleaning patio.*
Does this count as a war movie? It has “Wars” in the movie title!
While not 100% true, all the major points were accurate.
In the words of Mills Lane, I’ll allow it.
Down Periscope isn’t technically a war movie either, but it had its moments:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEpEv6kWdtw
1941
Where Eagles Dare
I ain’t no goddam sonofabitch, you better think about it baby… https://youtu.be/4WoxLk2g4-w
Yeah, I really like Where Eagles Dare.
The Australian Vietnam War movie, The Odd Angry Shot I remember as being very good, but it’s a long time since I’ve seen it.
I hate war movies. They are dramatic.
War is mostly not dramatic. War is just tragic, self inflicted misery.
I am going to make a drink.
I forget who said it, but the gist was that combat is like a really bad car accident. It’s fast, loud, and scary. You walk away if you’re lucky.
I would very much like to read an article from you on the economics of war. In the end it really is about following the money. War either pays or it doesnt happen. So why do we have billion dollar hardware that we send off to shitholes that arent worth the price of the fuel for our planes? Who is making money from that?
I will try to answer your question briefly and I welcome the many others here more knowledgeable than me to have their say.
Many, many people are on the take when it comes to the military industrial complex. Take an Abrams tank for example. The congresscritters from the district where the tank factory is have an incentive to vote for more military spending to keep the tank workers happy. The workers at the factory have an incentive to vote for congresscritters who will shovel more money in their direction. The military has an incentive to buy more tanks so they can justify higher budgets. The civilians who design and sometimes service the tanks have an incentive to protect their jobs as well. And of course there are all the export sales of the tanks.
There’s a really great King of the Hill episode called Team Snake Hunt. A pet python gets flushed down a toilet, grows to a huge size, and the townsfolk panic. They pay out the nose for special team of exterminators and give them all kinds of perks. The crooked members of the exterminator crew decide to milk things for as long as they can. There really is a big python and people are scared of it, so the crooked exterminators get away with it for a while. Later, Hank Hill, the voice of reason shames the exterminators into doing their jobs so life can return to normal. They kill the python, but taxes go up anyway to pay for their hijinks.
See War Is a Racket by Smedley Butler, for a more detailed, historical example.
Making war is the most interesting thing people do. Say what you like about the novels or the paintings or the dancing or the gadgets, man is at his best when making war.
But don’t ask me to make any, I’d be terrible at it.
For example.
Who are you, a Neocon?
It can’t be helped. Men are particularly ingenious and therefore fascinating when they put their heads together to work out how to kill one another.
You Know Who Else Thought Man was At His Best When At War?
Thucydides?
(I have no idea but probably.)
Heinlein?
some fucking white male said this:
“War is an ugly thing, but not the ugliest of things: the decayed and degraded state of moral and patriotic feeling which thinks that nothing is worth a war, is much worse. When a people are used as mere human instruments for firing cannon or thrusting bayonets, in the service and for the selfish purposes of a master, such war degrades a people. A war to protect other human beings against tyrannical injustice; a war to give victory to their own ideas of right and good, and which is their own war, carried on for an honest purpose by their free choice, — is often the means of their regeneration. A man who has nothing which he is willing to fight for, nothing which he cares more about than he does about his personal safety, is a miserable creature who has no chance of being free, unless made and kept so by the exertions of better men than himself. As long as justice and injustice have not terminated their ever-renewing fight for ascendancy in the affairs of mankind, human beings must be willing, when need is, to do battle for the one against the other.”
The thing about war is, whether or not you’re interested in making it, others are going to make it on you.
We’re a warmaking species. If we’d been other than we’d be nothing more than bonobos, something to gawp at but nothing very interesting.
When our leftist fifth column succeeds in toppling our warmaking resolve in the benighted hope that ending American primacy will end imperial ambitions, we will fall victim to the warmaking of other, less indoctrinated nations.
Jeff Tucker and Herbert Spencer have a sad…
I mean, writ small, it’s the same problem we see with rape. We want to prevent it, everyone abhors it, but some men will perpetrate it, and as much as everyone loves to think about beating a rapist to death, it’s going to be an issue and some women will be raped. So telling women to protect themselves isn’t “rape apology”, it’s good advice. It’s an admission that humanity is fallible, men can’t be everywhere to protect the decency of women, that we wouldn’t want a culture like that anyway, and so women should rely on their good senses if they want to avoid being raped. And the pretense that they can ward off men themselves just by being strong and empowered is ridiculous and going to get them hurt.
everything anyone needs to know about war and human nature:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wstIBq2H0z8
Winston Churchill?
Gallipoli.
My work here is done. Gonna drink now.
Have an Anzac biscuit with that drink.
?
My national guard brigade’s predecesor division’s chapel is in Queensland. My goal is to attend service there one of these years.
https://www.stripes.com/news/us-army-built-chapel-reminds-visitors-of-australia-s-wartime-past-1.479125
V. Cool. I’ve only been to rockhampton once and that was many years ago.
“Bayonet charge! Nothing up the spout!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UclsBepOfm4
fun fact: whenever the Turks yelled “allahu akbar”, the ANZACs would yell “c’mon you bastards, we’ll give you allah!” This happened so often that the Turks thought “bastard” was the name of the Christian god.
Related: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fhWlAKdlQp4
83 degrees?
Dammit, we went from catastrophic cooling to sweating my ass off weather.
Put together another fan, that should help.
Same here. We had a week of what felt like late fall and now it feels like a sauna outside.
Woke up to fog, it stayed overcast and threatening rain all day. Just into the low 70’s, so still comfortable. We’re supposed to get into the upper 80’s with Thunderstorms. I may get to test out the A/C soon.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJdzqg7REdU
?
60s here.
Knees were bent
Sacramento County has reversed its decision to reopen fitness studios and allow small social gatherings after California state officials weighed in to protest the move.
The county was set to allow exercise facilities to reopen but did an about-face on Friday, according to the Los Angeles Times.
“The Department of Health Services was willing to work with small fitness studios to reopen based on significant restrictions and requirements that ensured ample space between customers and staff and disinfecting shared equipment in order to protect public health,” Director of County Health Services Dr. Peter Beilenson said in a statement.
“However, we have received feedback from the state Department of Public Health that no gyms or small fitness studios of any kind may reopen at this point, and we will respect and follow that guidance.”
“Thank you, Massa. Don’t whup me no more. I’ll behave.”
Just finished four hours of making 42 cu ft of potting soil and putting in the new planters. One ten minute shower later and I’m enjoying a La Chouffe.
https://www.bloomberg.com/amp/news/articles/2020-05-23/xi-says-china-won-t-return-to-planned-economy-urges-cooperation
Well Xi is a liberal after all…
Data! SCIENCE!
New data released by the United Food and Commercial Workers Union shows that among the grocery store workers it represents, 10,000 have been infected by or are known to have been exposed to coronavirus and 68 have died from it. At least 3,257 have been infected with the virus, the union estimated on Friday.
——-
Kris Holtham, who works as a meat manager for Kroger in Lansing, Mich., and has been employed by the company for 35 years, says that getting customers to wear masks has become difficult.
“Masks have become a political war,” Holtham said. “The employees are downright scared and afraid to ask someone to put on a mask. … I see hundreds of people a day without a mask. We are sitting ducks for the virus.”
Holtham recounted a story where she asked a customer to put on a mask for the sake of the workers and the customer responded with, “I don’t give a damn about your health.”
Attempted murder. Depraved indifference.
Whycome them hicks no respeck heroes?
Every debate about masks reminds me of the hurricane chow scene from the Simpsons:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V3souuU7C8Y
“Lisa, can’t you see how eerily calm it is?”
10,000 have been infected by or are known to have been exposed to coronavirus
Big or, there.
Holtham recounted a story where she asked a customer to put on a mask for the sake of the workers and the customer responded with, “I don’t give a damn about your health.”
I’ll take “Things that never happened” for 500, Alex.
I thanked the kid stocking ice cream sandwiches for his service today. His WTF expression was worth it.
Silicone Saturday does not thank you for your service.
http://archive.li/fogzX
#2/#10, since she’s there twice
Big or, there.
Millions may or may not have been seriously affected.
“Vietnam War Rock Apes-Bigfoot or Fraud?”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BpNxWxSHDoA
It looks like Steve Smith has been terrorizing people all over the world for decades.
I thanked the kid stocking ice cream sandwiches for his service today.
That young man truly is performing a vital service to mankind.
I must have Klondike Bars, Walmart workers provide them, I am grateful,
the words service, servile, servant, and others come from the Latin word for slave – servus
that word comes from the verb servare, meaning to keep back, as in the words reserve and conserve
subservient basically means “beneath a slave”
An Afghan who helped the US speaks:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4lp1YBxTsU
After much hardship and death threats, he got asylum in the US.
It is abhorrent that every translator and their families haven’t been granted asylum and/or citizenship.
Oh sure, we *could* grant asylum to such obviously loyal people, but that would cut into the visas for questionable Saudi pilots at US military bases.
herp herp herpa derp
War movie submissions:
Henry V
Mrs Miniver
Mrs Miniver was a remarkable movie considering it was a wartime propaganda movie.
Similar: The Life and Death of Colonel Blimp.
The World War II movie I find remarkable is Alfred Hitchcock’s “Lifeboat”.
“Hail the Conquering Hero” is another one the makes me wonder how it got past the Production Code during the war.
Lifeboat is great. Love Hitch’s cameo.
I’m not a big fan of Hitchcock, but I do like that intro where he slowly walks up to his drawing in profile.
Also, he had a fidgety child actor one time. He told her that if she wouldn’t stand still, he’d nail her feet to the floor.
The Before Place did a parody of the Hitchcock intro a while back. So did the Simpsons:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSByNwqZebE
I saw a comedian once whose gag was to deliberately walk past his profile, clench his fists in annoyance, and quickly walk backwards.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_skg7pH_a3go/RiRt6RWMvYI/AAAAAAAAAIo/UF3TnIhoKls/s320/AynSFTots.jpg
In “North by Northwest”, there’s a scene where Cary Grant gets shot at a visitors’ center/cafe near Mt. Rushmore.
They shot that scene so many times that in the take that finally got used, you can see a young boy plugging his ears *before* the gun goes off.
Relevant
Why doesn’t German Homer sound anything like proper Homer?
Wo ist mein Fischbrötchen?!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47mxidusqDM
fun fact: since most Merkins don’t know what “umlaut” means, I usually call them Motley Crue dots.
Despite all the Deutsch I gelernt back in gymnasium, I never gelernt how to pronounce the umlauts.
I still remember the alt code for esset, though: 0223.
Döh !
^Förder diesen Mann!
“President Trump: “I have a chance to break the deep state.” An exclusive interview on “Full Measure with Sharyl Attkisson”
https://sharylattkisson.com/2020/05/president-trump-i-have-a-chance-to-break-the-deep-state-an-exclusive-interview-on-full-measure-with-sharyl-attkisson/
We’ll see, we’ll see…call me when you arrest Brennan.
Ditto. Until 100 shitweasels are wearing stripes I don’t want to hear about it.
Best war movie – Bat 21
I’ve never seen that movie in full.
But you’re a contrarian, though of course you will deny it.
Magazines and ammo on order. A thousand rounds of 308 at today’s prices are kind of an ouch.
What kind of optic were you planning on putting on the new rifle?
The “free” scope mount from Springfield won’t arrive for 8 to 12 weeks.
So, I have plenty of time to decide.
The Prussian Cur is the greatest war movie ever:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Prussian_Cur
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horst_von_der_Goltz
von der Goltz was an actual German spy who tried who worked with Pancho Villa and tried to blow up the Welland Canal. Oh and his boss was Franz von Papen the same man who helped bring Hitler to power…
To Hell with the Kaiser is another one of the greats:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/To_Hell_with_the_Kaiser!
You know the scene in “Pearl Harbor” where the two pilots race to another base and get airborne and shoot down some Jap planes? Really happened.
The one pilot accounted for two Japs and together they shot down two others. The one pilot gets put in for the Medal of Honor. It is reduced to a lower medal (DSC I recall) with a notation from some desk puke that he should have stood court martial for “taking off without permission.”
George Welch was his name: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Welch_(pilot)
***
Welch went on to work as chief test pilot, engineer, and instructor with North American Aviation during the Korean War, where he reportedly downed several enemy MiG-15 Fagots while “supervising” his students. However, Welch’s kills were in disobedience of direct orders for him to not engage, and credits for the kills were thus distributed among his students.
After the war, Welch returned to flight testing; this time in the F-100 Super Sabre, with Yeager flying the chase plane. Welch became the first man to break the sound barrier in level flight with this type of aircraft on May 25, 1953. However, stability problems were encountered in the flight test program, and on Columbus Day, October 12, 1954, Welch’s F-100A-1-NA Super Sabre, AF Ser. No. 52-5764, disintegrated during a 7-G pullout at Mach 1.55 from 45,000 ft (13,500 m) and crashed in Rosamond Lake in the Mojave Desert about 45 miles (72 km) north of Los Angeles.[17] When he was found, Welch was still in the ejection seat, critically injured. He was evacuated by helicopter, but was pronounced dead on arrival at the United States Air Force Plant 42 hospital. He is buried in Arlington National Cemetery.
In the 1970 film Tora! Tora! Tora!, Welch was portrayed by actor Rick Cooper.[18]
***
According to Wikipedia, both pilots got recommended for the Medal of Honor.
Some others you Commies missed:
The Dirty Dozen
Black Hawk Down
The Iron Cross
Inglorious Basterds
Paths of Glory
Run Silent Run Deep
Army of Shadows
Casablanca
The Blue Max
Looks like Remdisivir for covid is a bust except for very specific circumstances and the positive effect is modest:
https://www.zerohedge.com/technology/remdesivir-study-finally-out-drug-only-helped-those-oxygen-finds-mortality-too-high
pwned
https://twitter.com/amazon_policy/status/1263956049469550592
Like that’s going to stop Bezos from pulling the lever for Biden come November.