Monday Morning Links

by | May 11, 2020 | Daily Links | 412 comments

“Let’s get ready to…waaaaaatch on TV!!!”

There was actually some sports over the weekend, as the UFC televised a full card, albeit from an empty stadium. I didn’t watch because I don’t typically do pay-per-view, but I know a shitload of people did.  Good for them and Dana White. I hope other sports do the same soon.

Hilarious

Irving Berlin was born on this day. The songwriter shares it with surrealist artist Salvador Dali, genius comedian Phil Silvers, austere religious scholar anti-semitic bigot Louis Farrakhan, hurler Milt Pappas, tiresome sportswriter Mike Lupica, political commentator racist bigot Richard Spencer, and Heisman winners with varying degrees of success in the NFL Matt Leinart and Cam Newton.

OK, on to…the links!

Somebody fucked up bad.

“Whoops. My bad! My bad!”  That’s a sentence you never want to hear uttered after a live-fire exercise.

I hope Trump wins here. Not because a President should be above the law, but because Congress has no business investigating someone in office under the guise of “government oversight” for things that happened before they entered government service. That duty belongs to law enforcement, if they have reasonable suspicion an articulable crime has been committed. Ruling they can subpoena whatever they want will lead to a permanent ruling class that private citizens will not bother entering for fear their lives will be dissected for political persecution. And if “Three Felonies A Day” has taught us anything, its that anybody will be found to be a lawbreaker if fishing expeditions are made legal.

But can they kill ghosts?

Thank you for this valuable information, CBS. I hope people view it as a how-to manual rather than a reason to shit their pants and call for restrictions. Although my faith in my fellow man tells me it won’t.

Comedic genius Jerry Stiller has passed away. I wonder how the media will blame Trump even though it wasn’t because of The Corona.

“Put on the mask goggles, before you kill us all!!!!!” are words I expect to start hearing soon. And I’ll pay them the same attention I pay the former demands…none.

Good. Our rights don’t end because a governor says so. Oh, and about that governor…he’s committing to be a king until the virus is “eradicated”. I guess virology isn’t his strong suit. And neither is constitutional law. Christ, what an asshole.

Nobody forced any of you to be there, you know. There’s these things called cars. And they move on these things called roads.  And those roads go all over the place. And…spoiler alert…they isolate you from others.

Redpilled.

Elon Musk has had enough of Alameda County. Good for him. And good for the government of Alameda County, who seem to hate him and the jobs he creates more than they enjoy the tax money he generates.

The new global theme song. Well, not new, but certainly the current theme. Either way, a solid song.

Now get out there and have a great start to the week, friends!

About The Author

sloopyinca

sloopyinca

412 Comments

  1. Tres Cool

    mornin’

    O-H….

    • sloopyinca

      I-O!!!!!!!

      And a good morning to you as well!!!

      • straffinrun

        And “Ohio” means “good morning” in Japanese. *Mind blown* and Ohio to you.

      • AlmightyJB

        I was not aware of that. Pretty cool

      • straffinrun

        “New York” sounds like “take a bath” and “Hawaii” sounds like “Nice teeth”.

      • Tres Cool

        Mind = freaked

      • Gustave Lytton

        Ohio Gonzaga mass!

      • robc

        Go Bobcats!

      • AlmightyJB

        That’s my wife’s alma mater.

      • robc

        Ohio was a University before Columbus was a city.

      • The Last American Hero

        Hence the insecurity that lead to THE being tacked on to the other school.

    • AlmightyJB

      I-O! Ready for football now.

    • Ted S.

      S-H-I-T?

      • sloopyinca

        The most shocking part of this reply is that it took half an hour to appear.

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t see how the South Henrietta Institute of Technology fits in.

      • SandMan

        8

      • Tejicano

        There once was a train line named the Susquehana, Hamilton & Indian Territory which painted the abbreviation of that name on its cars – briefly…

  2. straffinrun

    Coronavirus can enter the body through the eyes, study says

    Fact check: True

    • leon

      Can it be cured through bleach then?

    • invisible finger

      But can it enter through the pritzker, er, I mean asshole?

    • Fourscore

      The eyes make a lot of biological things happen, some more enjoyable than others. Hugh Hefner made a fortune knowing biology.

      • sloopyinca

        And his kids lost a shitload of it by being scholars on woke-ology.

      • Tres Cool

        True, but Christie Hefner? Wood.

  3. leon


    I hope Trump wins here. Not because a President should be above the law, but because Congress has no business investigating someone in office under the guise of “government oversight” for things that happened before they entered government service. ”

    But that doesn’t seem to be the argument Trump is making.

    • sloopyinca

      I think he’s already made that argument though. At least as far as congressional subpoenas are concerned. As for local prosecutors, that should be heard separately as it’s a different issue. But since it’s been lumped together, I hope he wins because I’ll always err on the privacy rights of the individual being expanded at the expense of the state being able to go on fishing expeditions.

      • sloopyinca

        I’ll expand on this: if they have evidence of a specific crime being committed, they won’t have problems getting subpoenas. These are blanket requests so they can go over all of his records in hopes of finding something. Not a single one I can recall has articulated a specific crime he’s being investigated for and how the evidence they’re requesting will shed light on them.

      • leon

        I agree, as far as i can tell, congress doesn’t have any authority to investigate crimes, but only oversee the government and investigate in that way. Subpoenaing records that have nothing to do with government should be restricted.

        If that has been rejected by the courts, then we are a long way into cutting down the laws to get at the devil Orangemandbad

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        +1 Mitchell Report

      • invisible finger

        And the Democrats are stupid to not think the same won’t be used against them.

      • Florida Man

        Why? If it was used against Democrats we would get 24 hour a day reporting about how it’s the greatest witch hunt since Salem.

      • WTF

        They are going by long experience that the Republicans will not respond in kind.

    • Festus

      He’s so inarticulate that whatever he says and does seems to erupt from the last brain-fart. God damn, I hate defending him! It’s like trying to explain to yourself why you had that final beer last night the morning after.

      • Fourscore

        “It’s like trying to explain to yourself why you had that final beer last night the morning after”

        Somehow words and actions can have different meanings.

        “Well, OK, just one more, then I have to go”

        The next morning

        “Oh god, sunbitch, what the hell happened? I’m never gonna have a meet up with Festus again.”

      • Don Escaped Australians

        is it that

        he’s so inarticulate that you can’t parse his principles

        or

        he’s so unprincipled that it’s impossible for him to hold and articulate a coherent position

        the answer is c: he’s a clinical narcissist who shouldn’t be held to any normal adult standards (or elected to any office); I get more intellectual satisfaction from watching squirrels trying to find their caches all winter than I do trying to fence in any Trumpian norms, principles, or boundaries. If his philosophy were a ranch, every calf would get its own brand, a fresh design produced by pulling the iron out of the coals and then just flailing it against random objects conveniently at hand until some new shape was achieved.

      • leon

        I get more intellectual satisfaction from watching squirrels trying to find their caches all winter than I do trying to fence in any Trumpian norms, principles, or boundaries.

        The most conservative thing about Trump is his lack of Ideological principles

      • invisible finger

        Your last paragraph also applies to Obama, Clinton, Romney, McCain…

      • Don Escaped Australians

        fine by me

        so what?

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        He’s a tool, in more ways than one. He achieves two things. 1) he isn’t hell bent on dismantling western civilization; and 2) he pisses off all of the right people.

        Assuming that the country doesn’t implode from this coronavirus BS, in 100 years, Trump will be as memorable as Warren Harding. A non-entity as a president.

      • Don Escaped Australians

        he isn’t hell bent on dismantling western civilization\

        that’s damning with faint praise

        Didn’t you hear him clearly? He

        calls the shots
        his authority is total
        the states “can’t do anything without the approval of the president

  4. Fourscore

    Remember ‘zip guns’? Made from 1/4″ steel pipe and a .22 round? Mexican kids in CA, inner city kids in, well, inner cities and some of Fourscore’s ‘acquaintances’ had these illicit ghost guns back in the ’40s. Youthful creativity is wonderful and isn’t limited by passing laws against creativity.

    • Nephilium

      Of course I remember Zip Guns.

  5. leon

    “Elon Musk has had enough of Alameda County. ”

    His Eccentric, but I imagine the flight from California and New York will accelerate.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      So let me get this straight: Elon Musk is willing to subject his factory workers to COVID, but won’t subject himself to criticism on Twitter? pic.twitter.com/YCuBYgTAH4— Robert Reich (@RBReich) May 11, 2020

      • Certified Public Asshat

        No, I just think you’re a boring idiot— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) May 11, 2020

        Musk is rising up the Libertarian hero power rankings.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Wow. I’m starting to like Musk.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The midget has spoken.

      • Pope Jimbo
      • sloopyinca

        Gotta respect Reich for being short and to the point.
        Well, he’s half of that anyway.

      • bacon-magic

        He’s half Reich? At least he’s not third Reich…

      • Aloysious

        *applause*

      • invisible finger

        Better to be subjected to Covid19 than to be subjected to Robert Reich’s idiocy. At least the virus goes away in a couple weeks.

      • Fourscore

        And a lot more pleasant.

      • sloopyinca

        Reich has a better understanding of the virus than the rest of us. Because he’s able to look it in the eye.

    • AlexinCT

      I hope this asshat is forced to eat a bag of rancid dicks for his fucking shitty ways, but the telling thing here is how pissed the government people are that he has called them out on their ineptness. Idiots like Musk never get that these government leftists love him as long as he is willing to support & peddle their totalitarian shit and let them make the calls, but the moment he points out they are wrong, they will fuck him over as hard as they can. Who the fuck does he think he is? Government people know that people like Musk – especially people like Musk – need to be reminded that when government has the power to pick winners & losers, you are a winner for as long as that government feels having you be in that column suits their own purposes, and despite the wealth and power someone like Musk might have, they can be fucked by government at said government’s earlier convenience.

      I doubt Musk will learn anything from the lesson, because totalitarianism suits him quite well.

      • Shirley Knott

        ^^^THIS!!!

      • Rufus the Monocled

        So….classify this as ‘eating their own’?

      • AlexinCT

        To make an example of those that might want to walk away from the plantation/farm/movement…

        Marxists, fascists, and especially our new breed of neo-fascist-marxist crowd, will prefer to kill even the goose that lays the golden egg – to make sure others can’t get the benefit of said goose or when that goose becomes a nuisance by standing against those in power – whatever the consequences of that action are, rather than have their grip on power threatened.

      • Agent Cooper

        I don’t know. This looks pretty red-pilly to me.

  6. Just a thought not a sermon

    Is there a point where California politicians will notice they don’t seem to have any businesses left? Especially in the Bay Area? I mean, internet firms are nice, I guess, but not everybody can work there….

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      Most of the companies buy into it hook, line, and sinker. The tech industry is so awash in cash that they can look over the added costs as the price of doing business.

    • sloopyinca

      Then they’ll finally be able to live their dream of getting all the poors out of their beautiful city.
      I mean, it’s not as if they’re lifting restrictions so people can build affordable housing or be able to buy cheap gas or food. These pols hate the poors the day after they pander just enough to lock down their votes.

      • Festus

        We, the Custodians will stage a walk-out! No we won’t. We’ll go back to our hovels and starve, as is right and proper.

      • C. Anacreon

        The Bay Area developers and their allies in government and tech love the homeless, at least as a prop. The keep insisting the solution to homelessness is to mandate high-rise luxury condos in affluent bedroom community suburbs. Right now they are close to passing a law making it illegal to zone for single family residences in cities with residents who average above the median state income.

        The biggest lie that’s spread gleefully by the media in CA is that no one is allowed to build housing. There are already 40 million people here and building cranes everywhere you look. But keep buying the line about the unfortunate developers who are prevented from helping the poor, they are using it to convince everyone there should be no such thing as zoning, project reviews or local control, rather towns should be penalized if they don’t greenlight enough new developments each year, even fully built-out suburbs (this is already a law here).

    • Ted S.

      The people in the Bay Area can get essential jobs.

      — Shithead Cuomo

  7. Count Potato

    I am so tired of all this shit.

    • Drake

      I have a lot of stuff to do this week and am going to try my best to stay focused. Can’t let these assholes live in my head rent-free.

    • sloopyinca

      Hear! Hear!

      • Festus

        Yes! I need to build a deck. I can’t stick around this morning but if any of you builders can point me in the right direction on the Tube I will be much obliged! I can make things but I get in over my head. I’m pointing my gnarly finger at you, Hyperbole.

      • Atanarjuat

        Use a router to make the corners of 4x4s more friendly before you install them. Little details like that make it look like it was put together by a pro.

      • Incentives Matter

        Hand routers are convenient for that. Also, dip the cut ends of your pressure-treated lumber in some form of wood preservative before installing.

      • The Hyperbole

        Decks are very simple, I have not watched many YouTube videos on them but the one’s I’ve seen tend to make thing more complicated than they need to be. Let me know the details of your project, how big, how high off the ground, is it attached to your house ( if so is going onto siding or brick or other)what kind of decking, railings, etc etc and I can give you a quick how to that shouldn’t be as confusing and overbuilt as the YouTube videos I’ve seen. Of course you’ll have to check my advice against all applicable federal/state/and local building codes you wouldn’t want to break any arbitrary regulations.

    • bacon-magic

      #metoo

  8. Just a thought not a sermon

    “A UCSF doctor, coming home after several weeks in New York City helping coronavirus patients, shared his shocking experience of traveling on a packed flight back to SFO.”

    What I notice in that picture is that everybody is wearing masks, so shouldn’t be as much of a problem? You know, choose your own risk level if you don’t like it.

    The doctor’s description of the plane reminds me of the beginning of the Late Great Planet Earth, where it describes “overpopulation” scenes of people in crowds doing perfectly normal things using breathless prose as if it were totally shocking.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      What a douchecanoe.

      Who are all these other assholes doing the same thing I am?

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        This. This is why I was so fucking annoyed with my grandparents on Saturday. It’s one thing to go on living your own life and let others live theirs. It a whole different thing to hardly make any changes to your own routine but spend the whole weekend excoriating everybody else for doing the same thing.

        It was very hard to bite my tongue and say nothing. At least my mom, for all the unthinking acceptance of the media narrative and condescending hubris toward those who aren’t knuckling under, at least she is walking the walk. I can at least respect something in that.

      • Gdragon

        Yup. When I go to the grocery store virtually all I see are seniors giving me dirty looks for being outside of my home.

    • sloopyinca

      Perhaps he should reevaluate his lifestyle choice by looking out the window and seeing all that sparsely-populated expanse below him as he goes from one crowded metro area to another.
      Nah, that would be giving credence to the choices of those stupid hicks. Better to REEEEEEE as he flies from a mega-hotspot to a city where people shit in the street.

      • invisible finger

        I can probably guess his opinion on Single Payer health care.

    • Translucent Chum

      Why should he have to travel with the rabble?

    • Pope Jimbo

      I can’t believe he didn’t buy out 3 rows of seats to make sure he could sit in his bubble in complete safety. How dare that evil airline not fly empty (and at a loss) so he could feel safe.

      • C. Anacreon

        Didn’t you know he got his ticket for free, courtesy of the evil airline? It’s true.

  9. Just a thought not a sermon

    “Comedic genius Jerry Stiller has passed away. ”

    I saw an interview with Jason Alexander where he said Stiller’s unique delivery with its weird pauses on Seinfeld was due to his being unable to remember his lines, thus he spat out each word or phrase as it came to him, to hilarious effect.

    • invisible finger

      Did he have that problem on King Of Queens?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      RIP, him and his “son” were he bestest parts of the bestest show ever (except for the first ten seasons of The Simpsons but that goes without saying).

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      +1 Del Boca Vista

    • Festus

      Thanks for the Sun-dress post yesterday, Q.

      • Q Continuum

        Sundress is only surpassed by undress when it comes to fine ladies.

    • CPRM

      Despite the tattoos I’ll take 28 giftwrapped to start my day.

  10. Count Potato

    “PICTURED: Black Georgia man, 20, is arrested for setting up fake Facebook page in support of Ahmaud Arbery’s two killers and threatening protesters who paid their respects at the spot where the 25-year-old jogger was ‘lynched’

    Georgia state investigators announced on Sunday that they have arrested a 20-year-old man suspected of creating a fake Facebook account and using it to post a ‘hoax’ threat against protesters angry over the killing of unarmed black man 25-year-old Ahmaud Arbery.

    The Georgia Bureau of Investigation on Sunday said state police arrested Rashawn Smith and charged him with dissemination of information relating to terroristic acts.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8305955/Man-arrested-making-threats-Ahmaud-Arbery-protesters-Facebook-bikers-pay-tribute.html

    CWAA

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Now that’s some complicated hoax hate.

    • AlexinCT

      This event is nothing but a horrible tragedy and I hope those 2 fuckers fry for what they did, but the problem your usual corpse fuckers have is that the facts & reaction are not the one the left likes/needs to peddle their hatred narrative, so they are going to manufacture things that help them peddle the narrative they want. Anyone that doesn’t understand that is gonna be how they will take advantage of the tragedy (their words: never let a crisis go unused), will be caught unawares.

  11. Drake

    Why Cuomo probably won’t be the nominee and if he is, Trump will crucify him. He royally fucked up by sending infected patients to nursing homes. Literally the opposite of a quarantine.

    • Just a thought not a sermon

      I don’t understand how this guy can be elected governor of that state again and again. Literally every time he’s in the national news (which is pretty often) it’s for something incredible stupid, mendacious, or clear grandstanding.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Easy, corruption

      • UnCivilServant

        The huge margin of fraud downstate, along with the useful idiot vote.

      • leon

        Literally every time he’s in the national news (which is pretty often) it’s for something incredible stupid, mendacious, or clear grandstanding.

        That is pretty much how every state level politician gets national notoriety

      • Rufus the Monocled

        The problem is your average idiot and lefty thinks Trump is to be blamed about NY.

      • Rhywun

        It’s called machine politics for a reason.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      The OG Grandma Killa.

    • Count Potato

      “Literally the opposite of a quarantine.”

      This.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      He’s an incompetent and surly twat but people tend to rally around the boss during times of crisis. When this dies down and an analysis is done he’s going to take some substantial hits.

    • AlexinCT

      This is the guy that cried about how if the Feds didn’t help the deaths would be on them, then had the military burn a couple of tens of millions quickly standing up and shipping the Mercy to NYC, only to have it leave a week later because not a single fucking patient was sent there, and all at the same time as I was bombarded by propaganda pieces by the dnc operatives with bylines about how NYC was about to turn into cadaver city. I pointed the whole USN Mercy thing to several people that told me how horrible conditions in NYC were because the poor people there were overwhelmed, and not a single one of them had an answer other than that they would still keep believing the narrative and fuck the facts. Is it a wonder that so many of them are admitting they think Tara Reade was molested by Biden, but they were still going to vote for him as well? That’s how these people operate: solipsism.

  12. Just a thought not a sermon

    So I’ve got some news. Thanks in part to an email conversation I had with Mojeaux a few months ago, I’m now pursuing self-publishing a backlog of novels I’ve got on my hard drive. The first result is available here: https://www.amazon.com/Ballad-Dani-Eli-Nicholas-Bruner-ebook/dp/B0881X7V1N/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1589199936&sr=1-1

    The Kindle version is free from today until Thursday, by the way. If anyone has any free time during this virus thing, might be a way to help you pass it. I also wouldn’t object if anybody left an Amazon review….

  13. Tundra

    Good morning, Sloopy!

    RIP Jerry. Still one of my favorite characters, evah!

    I’m pretty sure our asshole governor is gonna go hand-in-hand with the fuckhead in IL. The goalposts have been moved so many times, no one can even find the fucking things. Blah.

    Elon is a grifter, sure, but damn if he isn’t a funny dude. Go get ’em, Elon!

    Great song by a great band. Well, maybe not a ‘great’ band, but damn if they didn’t do some catchy stuff!

    And Billy knew his job and did it perfectly.

    Have a great day, people!

    • straffinrun

      It’s beginning to look like Elon was channeling his Francisco D’anconia the entire time. Playing the game only to burn it down from the inside. He actually is smart enough to play 3D chess.

  14. Count Potato

    “‘OBAMAGATE!’ Donald Trump steps up his attacks on his predecessor for leaked call slamming his ‘chaotic’ coronavirus response

    Donald Trump last night stepped up his attacks on Barack Obama after his predecessor slammed his ‘chaotic’ coronavirus response in a leaked conference call.

    Replying to one tweet claiming that Obama ‘is the first Ex-President to ever speak against his successor,’ Trump wrote: ‘He got caught, OBAMAGATE!’

    It comes after a recording of Obama’s half hour web call with the Obama Alumni Association leaked on Friday, during which he asserted that Trump’s response to the COVID-19 crisis had been an ‘absolute chaotic disaster.’

    Several of Trump’s tweets claimed that Obama knew the details of a call between former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn and Russian diplomat Sergey Kislyak in 2016 – at the centre of what Trump calls the ‘Impeachment Scam.'”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8306711/He-got-caught-OBAMAGATE-Donald-Trump-steps-attacks-predecessor.html

      • invisible finger

        It’s beyond weird, it’s fucking sick.

      • Tundra

        And completely unsurprising. He is a repellent prick.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        No, you’re not. But it’s not so much weird as it playing to their own self-regard.

        “There is no doubt that in exchanging a self-centered for a selfless life we gain enormously in self-esteem. The vanity of the selfless, even those who practice utmost humility, is boundless.” – Eric Hoffer, The True Believer

      • Don Escaped Australians

        It’s weird.

        The proper way to club it up is for everyone to simply write articles for the National Review and join Augusta National or meet at the Algonquin for drinks every day all day.

        But you don’t put your own name on shit. (((Everybody))) knows you wait to die and let someone else name stuff after you then.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Knowing what we know about him is it really a surprise?

        Undermining a sitting President like has done since 2016 is just about the most cynical and disgraceful thing he can do. It points to the utter arrogance of a remedial mind.

        I truly wish and hope this Flynn thing hangs his shitty legacy up once and for all and for good.

        Without doubt he and his wife are possibly the most over praised people around.

    • hayeksplosives

      Fits right in with the Great Seal he made up in 2012 after election and before swearing in: “Office of the President-Elect.”

      And yo think I thought THAT was the height of arrogance.

    • Pope Jimbo

      “Leaked”. I don’t think that word means what you think it does. Isikoff is merely a court reporter who shovels out whatever his Democratic overlords tell him to.

      No way, no how he leaked something that Obama and his minions didn’t want him to. Fuck, you know that in addition to the tape, they sent him a transcript and a list of talking points to work into his story.

      • Ozymandias

        Exactly this^^^^. I can’t believe anyone thinks this was “leaked.” This was a planned story from the word go. It’s another way for Dems to use the Lightbringer Obama Alumni criminal conspirators to continue retconning history and gaslighting the willing dupes.

  15. Just a thought not a sermon

    I’ve got some news. After a conversation with Mojeaux a few months back, I decided to pursue self-publishing the backlog of novels I have on my hard drive. The first one is called “The Ballad of Dani and Eli” and is available on Amazon. The Kindle version is free from today until Thursday, by the way.

    If anyone has some free time during this virus thing, might be a way to pass the time. I wouldn’t object if anyone left an Amazon review, either….

    • Ted S.

      Do we get any steamy sex scenes?

      • Just a thought not a sermon

        It’s a YA with some romantic elements. There are some make-out scenes, but they probably aren’t up to Glib standards of explictness….

      • Pope Jimbo

        Look, I am ok with any sex scenes. If you want to have a normal heterosexual bodice ripper, that is fine with me. It doesn’t have to be two dudes in a steam room at the bath house (no matter what Ted says)

    • bacon-magic

      Leaving 2 star review with “Needs moar buttsex.”

      • Just a thought not a sermon

        It’s hard to imagine the book that wouldn’t improve.

      • bacon-magic

        I didn’t have an Amazon account (yeah yeah I’m old) so made one just to give you a review…apparently you can’t review until you buy something. *starts browsing Amazon and turns into shopaholic

    • Mojeaux

      Dude, you gotta drop the link, too!

      Proud of you!

      • Just a thought not a sermon

        Thank you! I tried putting in a link but it didn’t post, so I thought maybe there’s a policy against putting in Amazon links? Might just be my own incompetence.

      • Just a thought not a sermon

        Yep, tried it again and didn’t post.

      • UnCivilServant

        How are you trying to add it?

      • Just a thought not a sermon

        Thank you, robc. I was just using the href tag. I’ve posted links plenty of times before, so I figured it was just some policy against Amazon in particular. But it’s clear I wasn’t doing something right.

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s an ‘a’ tag. <a href=”yourlink”> some link text </a>

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Jatnas is back!

        ‘a’ is for anchor, IIRC. /pedant

      • Just a thought not a sermon

        Thank you, sir!

    • Mojeaux

      I will wait until I can pay for it. An artist must be supported.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    It’s virtually invisible to you and government.

    This, of course, is the real offense.

    It has been pointed out many times before. We have deteriorated from, “It’s a free country!” to “Who said you could do that?”

  17. Certified Public Asshat

    This bullshit again: Forget Pancakes. Pay Mothers.

    Here’s the good part though:

    I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately, because when the pandemic exploded, I happened to find myself in the middle of a divorce. I would recommend against this timing. If you’ve read the divorce memoir “Eat, Pray, Love,” imagine the exact opposite of that.

    I have a lot of thoughts about marriage and divorce, but one is how peculiar it is that it is only through divorce that the work a wife has done as a primary caretaker is given a monetary value. This comes in the form of what used to be called alimony and is now called maintenance. These settlements, the lawyers say, are meant to be “rehabilitative.” I’ve always thought of rehabilitation as a process involving one’s recovery from injury. In this case, the injury is marriage and motherhood.

    Shocking right?

    • leon

      The shocking thing is that her marriage didn’t work out.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        That is was I was referring to.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Now, for the first time, everyone is doing the work we don’t call work when women do it. We watch Jimmy Fallon play with his daughters while filming “The Tonight Show” and think, “Maybe it’s work, after all.”

      Her poor kids.

    • sloopyinca

      I’m shocked, shocked, that a woman who decries marriage and considers herself strong and independent would seek alimony.

      • juris imprudent

        Maybe her ex will be pleased to be paying her for not getting laid?

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      ’ve always thought of rehabilitation as a process involving one’s recovery from injury. In this case, the injury is marriage and motherhood.

      Being a stay at home parent injures your career prospects. And this is insightful, why?

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Also, yes, parenting is work. However, work =/= money. Sometimes work saves money for the family, which allows you to buy nice things since you’re not spending it on daycare/whatever.

        The pay was in your increased standard of living, you idiot!

    • Florida Man

      I didn’t knock you up. I chose not to have kids. Take responsibility for your own decisions.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        My wife does the laundry (she makes me fold and put away my stuff), I am usually the one cleaning the kitchen. Are we even, or am I owed some compensation?

  18. The Late P Brooks

    Am I alone in thinking this is weird?

    You misspelled “disgusting”.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      A country that has forgotten that inflation exists, is a country destined to experience massive inflation.

      • Don Escaped Australians

        I’m getting roasted in the local online paper for pointing this out.

        My why do you hate your hard-working parents who lived beneath their means and saved is getting the unanimous hammer: fuck you and give us free shit.

        In reality, the Little Red Hen’s house and bread are stolen and she’s ass-raped by everyone in her zipcode.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        It’s a recipe for eventual societal collapse. You can’t be a society of grasshoppers without any ants.

      • UnCivilServant

        When you have too many grasshoppers, they turn into locusts.

      • straffinrun

        ^That is spectacular.

      • leon

        My why do you hate your hard-working parents who lived beneath their means and saved is getting the unanimous hammer: fuck you and give us free shit.

        I appreciate it. The Wife and I have always been very cognisant of saving and have foregone many “Necessities” that those in our millennial cohort take up, and then complain about not having enough. We are doing well, but then i guess we were being evil money grubbers and should have spent, or thrown all our money in the stock market like good little subjects of the American Empire. Silly us thinking we could and should save money.

      • Florida Man

        I feel like a chump for paying off my debts and saving for the last 10 years. I should have traveled more and bought a 6 bedroom house. Now I’ll get to watch inflation make all those sacrifices meaningless.

      • The Last American Hero

        No, you should have lived in an apartment that was way over your budget and lit up your credit cards with world travel “experiences”.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Meh, if stuff costs more money we can just give out some more money.

      • invisible finger

        And they can wait in 3-day-long lines getting their stuff.

      • Just a thought not a sermon

        Yeah, this is why we don’t need to worry about the national debt. That’s the least of our problems. The national debt is going to be a fraction of today’s value after a few years of 10-20% inflation. Too bad about the savings of millions of hard-working people, though.

    • Fourscore

      But what about all those at the intersections with signs that say: Lost my job, can you help?

      They will now be employed being unemployed and need a new sign. Does anyone think and worry about them?

      • Spartacus

        We can just furlough them from being unemployed. Problem solved. Plus, they will be eligible for *two* checks.

  19. Nephilium

    For those in the Milwaukee area, welcome to the strange normal.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    34 degrees, probable snow turning to rain. I guess Gaia has spared us from burning to a crisp for another day.

    • invisible finger

      Now that the economy has ground to a halt, global cooling has resumed.

    • Nephilium

      Yep. Snow on the ground here in the morning. Still in the 30’s here, but supposed to get up into the 70’s by the end of the week… with rain and thunderstorms for five straight days predicted.

    • The Last American Hero

      Spared you. We have unusually warm weather, and the global warming alarmism is cranked to 11 in the local news without so much as a mention that other parts of the country are unseasonably cool.

  21. Pope Jimbo

    After getting stuck watching a lot of TV yesterday, I am willing to say that I’m ready to swear allegiance to any company that starts running ads that basically go like this:

    We are not in this all together! Some are willing to destroy others’ lives in order to “feel” safe. This is a Tale of Two Lockdowns. We’re not going to lie to you and pretend that it isn’t and that things are OK or will be OK.

    • AlexinCT

      Seconded.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Fuck, I’d get a tattoo of Glad garbage bags if they came out and said “Time to let the black flag fly and slit some throats! Our bags can not only provide an effective way to suffocate that asshole Karen down the street, but can be used afterwords to dispose of her worthless carcass!”

    • Count Potato

      It’s full-on propaganda.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        We’re all thicc now.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      “There is no precedent that anybody can find for someone who has been charged with perjury just getting off scot-free.”

      For one, it wasn’t perjury.

      Second, Obama’s standard would suggest that anyone ever charged, let alone convicted, should never get reprieve from the government, regardless of the government’s misconduct. This, probably more than any other statement he’s made, reveals the man for what he is, a purely political creature that pretends to be above it all.

      • hayeksplosives

        The Chocolate Jesus thing really went to his head.

      • AlexinCT

        For one, it wasn’t perjury.

        No, it was a failed attempt at entrapment that then necessitated the FBI to outright lie about and fabricating a crime so they could take Flynn down and prevent him from exposing the abuses of Obama’s weaponized bureaucratic machine or going after said weaponized leadership of team blue sycophants. That fucking asshole is pissed the carefully cultivated lie about how scandal free his admin was is getting hit by all those torpedoes that corrupt entity fired off that are now circling back on their ships.

        BTW, has anyone noticed how desperate so many people are to keeping alive the fake narrative about Russia collusion? They simply can’t deal with the damage to their identity admitting they were had or played along with a lie, because it is just too difficult to admit you believe in fairy tales.

      • AlexinCT

        Yup. This guy get it.

        Practically every leftists I have pointed this out to has had one or more aneurysms when I tell them the guy they hate so much – orange man – is a direct result of the abuses and criminality of the Obama administration being swept under the rug.

    • sloopyinca

      I sure hope the left follows his lead and beats this Flynn drum loudly. Because when the facts of the matter come out, they’re gonna expose the entire FBI leadership as the corrupt coup-plotters they were and probably implicate half of Obama’s senior staff in the process.

      Everything about this needs to be declassified immediately. And heads need to fucking roll.

      • leon

        Because when the facts of the matter come out, they’re gonna expose the entire FBI leadership as the corrupt coup-plotters they were and probably implicate half of Obama’s senior staff in the process.

        Yeah. You would think they would try to downplay this, and take the L, since it makes the “Hero’s” look incredibly bad. But now they are touting that this is some horrendous corruption? In hopes that it will get the prosecution to stop? Which will end up making the malfeasance more well known. They either think they still have a lot of control via the media to guide public knowledge, or they are hiding something, or the genuinely think they did nothing wrong.

        The fact that they are making complaints about this being corrupt, seems to rule out the final option.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        They’re deepening the partisan divide by making this explicitly political at all costs. They’re willing to burn it all down to save their own hides. So much for being “principled” and “above it all”.

      • invisible finger

        I think Dems are banking on persecution of Obama to bring out voters for Biden.

      • juris imprudent

        “That’s a bold strategy Cotton, let’s see how it plays out”

      • AlexinCT

        You would think they would try to downplay this, and take the L, since it makes the “Hero’s” look incredibly bad

        They can’t take the “L”. Their egos, but especially the false veneer of legitimacy afforded that inept and criminal Obama guy, and the need to retain the corrupt weaponized bureaucracy Obama created. won’t allow that. We are here today because every time they saw that their house of cards was about to be blown over, they would double down on the mendacious criminality. So they are all playing the long game and hoping they can get rid of orange man so they can go back to business as usual and to bury the facts from the unwashed fucking masses about the abuses and criminality of the Obama administration.

    • leon

      They are really pushing this as some sort of corruption. I wonder how that will play when it seems so blatant that the guy was railroaded, and that dropping prosecution is the least they could do.*

      *Full disclosure: I know i am biased because my knowledge of this is just slightly more than what the average person watching CNN would know, so it could be that the average guy will go along with it.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        You mean you are not willfully ignorant, because you have to be that in order to not know what this is about.

    • AlexinCT

      Obama is desperate to protect his legacy and to make sure people don’t found out how fucking evil and corrupt the weaponized 3 letter bureaucracy became under his reign. Shit, this guy’s bureaucracy ran an operation that basically amounts to an act of war with our neighbor to the south – all so they could then fuck over Americans and deny them their 2A rights, and the Mexicans still are looking for answers. Can you imagine the reaction from the usual dnc with byline sphere if a team red asshat had done something this vile to a neighbor? Especially if it involved something that would improve team red’s political agenda.

      • Ted S.

        Iran-Contra?

  22. The Late P Brooks

    The shocking thing is that her marriage didn’t work out.

    One day, out of nowhere, she just happened to find herself in the middle of a divorce. Nobody saw it coming.

    • straffinrun

      Noticed that, too. Sounds like she was the third wheel in a threesome.

  23. CampingInYourPark

    Some relatives on social media:

    Joe had a wonderful time riding on the golf cart with our neighbor.
    *insert photo of smiling frail man with advanced Parkinson’s riding with woman on golf cart

    Comment:
    Aunt Sally , how STUPID and IRRESPONSIBLE can you be riding a around in a cart with a strange women, no mask, no social distancing. You have no idea what exposure this woman has had to COVID-19. You need to quarantine yourself from Grandma and Dad for at least 14 days and then only see them wearing a mask and stay at least 6 ft away. I do not want you or Joe to be the ones that kill Grandma or Dad.

    Crap is getting out of hand.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Your relative is an asshole.

    • AlmightyJB

      Dear Aunt Sally, after golf we took him to a strip club and bought him lap dances with each of the girls.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Getting?

      It was the second they locked down.

      Know how many times I’ve heard people say (to me or in general) “I agree with the lockdown’?

      Blind, dumb sheep. Isn’t there a nursery rhyme for that?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      When the reimbursement rates for COVID treatment and deaths is more than double the normal reimbursement rate for pneumonia, you can guarantee that the number of “COVID” deaths is going to go up, especially when the hospitals are losing money.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Are you saying doctors and hospital administrators aren’t necessarily operating above board because of incentives? How dare you.

      • Drake

        The 2nd Covid death in Warren County, NJ was a guy who fell off a ladder a bashed his head in. He died later in the hospital and tests revealed he had the virus – so guess what his cause of death was? If you die with it, you died from it according to the hospitals.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        See Plandemic video, #6 in 8-point summary.

    • PieInTheSky

      I said before in Romania doctor visits for cardiovascular disease are down like 70%. Also some cases came to light where people in the emergency room had treatment postponed until a covid test was done and died. When excess mortality comes in people say look covid deaths are higher than reported, but how many of those deaths were avoidable non covid deasths? People not going to the doctor, “nonessential” surgery postponed etc.

      • robc

        How many of the excess deaths are due to lockdown instead of CV?

      • PieInTheSky

        why are you asking me that? that is what I am asking.

      • Redacted

        Why is he asking you that?

  24. Pope Jimbo

    Stupid Republicans won’t wear a mask!

    Local lefty posts long story about how most GOP-ers won’t wear masks in the legislature even though ONE staffer has tested positive!

    Most infuriating quote though goes to DFL gal

    Senate Minority Leader Susan Kent used the announcement to renew her call to have the Senate meet less frequently than it has been. The Woodbury DFLer also called for a requirement that all members and staff wear masks on the Senate floor.
    “I have openly stated my serious concerns with the Senate holding frequent floor sessions and am renewing a call to only reconvene the body when absolutely necessary and for the requirement of protective face masks on the floor so we can finish the legislative session strong and reduce the risk of exposure,” Kent said in a statement released Wednesday.

    I know I’m a crazy person, but I would think that having a governor wielding insane amounts of power might be an absolutely necessary reason to stay in session. Maybe you should be in there debating how much of your power you are going to throw away because you are scared.

    What really infuriates me is that when this is all over they are going to issue some proclamation of thanks to the “front line heroes” and they will include themselves because they bravely met during this crisis and did nothing (especially since most of them only met via zoom).

    • Tundra

      I’m wondering when the republicans are going to fucking push back on this bullshit.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I’m starting to think never which is sad. This issue alone could win them the House back and solidify their hold of the Senate.

        All they need to do is start pushing back and saying that businesses should re-open immediately because the actual DATA shows that it doesn’t help and that we could then focus efforts on nursing homes.

      • Fourscore

        Sgt Maj governor walz is not a quitter. Well, OK, maybe that one time but other than that he has guided this state into a virtual economic disaster.

        I’d almost think he’s a union guy from the Range but no, a carpet bagger and he has a social science degree, so he knows.

      • Pope Jimbo

        His background is in public education, so it isn’t like he understands a budget. In his experience, if you run out of money, you just beg for more. You never have to cut anything or change your ways to provide what people actually want.

    • Drake

      If lefties are never going to leave their houses again except to abort their unborn, maybe this isn’t such a bad thing.

  25. Rufus the Monocled

    Don’t worry it’s just to make sure we don’t over whelm the system and flatten the curve. Did I say that? I meant unit it’s eradicated.

    Honestly, something has to be done to remove these imbeciles because they’re liars and the virus won’t be eradicated. It’s like the cold or flu.

    Mass civil disobedience at this point is the main play.

  26. Pope Jimbo

    Oh Noes! Minnesoda has slipped to a D- in social distancing!!!

    A national scoreboard by a company called Unacast is giving Minnesota a D-minus for social distancing; it shows the state’s “grades” started higher but have been worsening as the stay-at-home order has been in effect. The same is true for freeway traffic data, which indicates Minnesotans are traveling far less than they were before the order was in place, though the numbers have been creeping up.

    The grades are based on cell phone data, so take it with a grain of salt. (side comment: nice to see that your private cell phone data is being used for such a good purpose)

    • Pope Jimbo

      Speaking of not being worthy of our betters…..

      You rubes better shape up, or testing is going to be “mandatory” soon

      Minnesota again fell short of Gov. Tim Walz’s goal of 5,000 daily coronavirus tests on Sunday, despite the Health Department saying there’s capacity to run twice that number.

      Walz has said testing 5,000 people every day is critical to reopening the economy. And while supply shortages were faulted with limited testing in the early weeks of the outbreak, Health Commissioner Jan Malcolm said the capacity is there — and the initial messaging may be to blame.

      “Testing’s available, and providers are telling us that people aren’t coming in. So people aren’t availing themselves of the testing capacity that’s there,” Malcolm said Friday. “And we need to do better. We need to do more outreach to make sure people know they can and should be getting tested if they have symptoms.”

      No idea why it is necessary to test 5K/day (it is one of those goal posts that is blurry because it is always moving about at high speeds). The fact that you can’t even drum up 5K of nervous nellies who think they might have it should be a signal that this thing isn’t as bad as they are making it out to be.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It’s the hospitalization rate that counts. The virus isn’t going away now, testing people who don’t feel the need to be tested isn’t going to change anything.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Exactly Scruffy. Ever since Walz started going on and on about needing 5K/day, I’ve wondered what that actually did. My main suspicion is that he thinks that it will be unachievable and give him cover to keep his orders in place.

        But I bet that it gives a lot of statists a raging boner to think of swooping down on a playground and forcing all those moms and kids to give up some blood to be tested.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      They’re grading it now?

      And they say ‘certified immunity’ is conspiratorial.

      • AlexinCT

        They’re grading it now?

        Took a page from the CCP and their social scoring system, huh?

  27. The Late P Brooks

    From the Ghost gun thing:

    As the coronavirus pandemic sweeps through the country, panic and fear have caused a run on hand sanitizer, toilet paper and guns.

    Panic and fear? Where did they come from? Let’s have an investigation of how this bullshit flu got blown up into a full fledged panic which will result in a self-inflicted economic depression, CBS.

    • juris imprudent

      Let me save you the trouble of that particular journalistic endeavor: it was Trump’s fault.

  28. Count Potato

    “White House backs far-right reporter in social-distancing skirmish
    Intervention in Chanel Rion matter is latest episode in Trump’s promotion of OAN

    (CNN) — A correspondent for the far-right One America News network, expelled from the White House press room for flagrantly violating social-distancing rules, has continued to show up for briefings with the support of the president’s staff.

    Chanel Rion, chief White House correspondent for OAN, during a Coronavirus Task Force news conference at the White House in Washington, D.C., U.S., on Tuesday, April 7, 2020. Photographer: Jim LoScalzo/EPA/Bloomberg

    The White House Correspondents Association took the unusual step on April 1 of ousting OAN after its correspondent Chanel Rion insisted on entering the briefing on days when she did not have an assigned seat.

    The association, which is responsible for assigning seats in the White House’s press briefing room, had restricted the number of journalists in the room so that distance could be maintained and had asked that each member of the press pool attend only every other day.

    Since then, the White House has not only allowed Rion to break the WHCA guidelines but it appears to actually be assisting her in doing so. Rion has boasted she was attending the briefings at the personal invitation of the press secretary.

    She has irritated other reporters and photographers by lingering close to their seats when she steps forward to ask questions.

    While the WHCA controls the briefing room seating assignments, it does not control physical access to the room.

    Rion’s continued presence is just one way in which the White House has worked to elevate OAN, a little-watched channel that arguably has more in common with a state-run propaganda network than a credible news organization.”

    https://www.mercurynews.com/2020/05/08/white-house-backs-far-right-reporter-in-social-distancing-skirmish/

    would

    • Florida Man

      When is fox going to start referencing all the mainstream news organizations as “Far Left”?

      • Drake

        I did a long time ago.

      • AlexinCT

        They are dnc operatives with bylines. Calling them far left just lets them off the hook. They are nothing but shills and the propaganda arm for the worst people on team blue.

      • Drake

        It’s enemy propaganda. If you are a normal American, watching CNN is like getting your WWII news from Tokyo Rose.

    • CPRM

      “She isn’t playing the game right! We said the floor is lava and she walked on it!”

    • Rufus the Monocled

      OAN is ‘far right’?

      • Rebel Scum

        “far right” = “insufficiently left”

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      She can attend my briefing anytime, social distancing be damned.

    • leon

      A correspondent for the far-right One America News network

      A big red pill moment for me was when Trump was fighting against escalating in Syria and the Left decided to say that if you were against it, you must be a white supremacist. I knew that they threw it around willy nilly, but it wasn’t until that moment that i understood that they did it just to brow beat people away from positions they didn’t like. I really don’t care if they call me a racist after that.

      Similarly when Krystal Ball described Justin Amash as a “Far Right, radical conservative-libertarian”. I was like, “If you think that guy is an extremist, wait till you see who i want to get the nomination”. One of the things she cited was that he refused to vote to make lynching a federal hate crime, without any hint of why he might have done that.

    • PieInTheSky

      which definitions of far right are we using?

      • AlexinCT

        Anyone with views to the right of Stalin, Pol Pot, Mao, or any of the other massive body count types the left just loves to pretend were people looking to usher in utopia.

    • bacon-magic

      Wood for sure.

    • invisible finger

      “She has irritated other reporters and photographers by lingering close to their seats when she steps forward to ask questions.”

      This is a complete lie. She stands in the back every time and never steps forward. I always wondered why she never was seated and I just assumed it was social distancing. Now it’s apparent that the WHCA is dominated by DNC operatives.

    • Rebel Scum

      a little-watched channel that arguably has more in common with a state-run propaganda network than a credible news organization.

      But enough about CNN.

  29. Don Escaped Australians

    Week Nine of Work from Home begins

    I’ve worked maybe 24 hours, three days out of the entire time, and quoted less than $500k in product. I have two hours of new-product training zooms to watch, and the rest of the week is going to be spent stretching by the river, pulling weeds, and watching teh 2004 MLB AllStar game.

    Maybe some golf in the afternoons if I can get the nerves in my left hand to fire. There’s nowhere to go, nothing to do or see, no patios or kegs to attend. ugh

    • Nephilium

      Week nine here as well. Uploading my timesheets feels like a joke, as most days I’ve had less then 30 minutes of work to do. Patios are supposed to open up here on Friday, but large patios aren’t a common feature up here were the weather is shit for 7-8 months of the year. A couple places nearby do have some, and I’m probably going to try to swing by one of them on Saturday afternoon (one is in walking distance, the rest are in easy cycling distance).

    • Florida Man

      I went out to a pub Saturday with my nervous wife. The Publix next to the pub had some guy pull a gun over an argument in the deli and swarms of cops with rifles showed up. My wife said “See! I told you it was too soon to go out!”

    • PieInTheSky

      Also week 9. I can safely say I did about as much work as I would have done going tot he office.

    • egould310

      I have been working sporadically. Gigs get scheduled but then cancelled when it’s “go time”. I was billable last week. I’m not billable this week.

      Glibs, sofa, guitar, glibs, sofa, guitar…

    • Agent Cooper

      Jeez. I actually work at least 6-7 hours a day.

  30. Rebel Scum

    An Iranian warship has accidentally fired on another vessel in a friendly fire incident during exercises in the Gulf of Oman, killing at least 19 people according to state media reports.

    So you are saying that Covid-19 has taken 19 souls.

  31. Old Man With Candy

    As much as the Milt Pappas for Frank Robinson trade is held up as the single stupidest move in baseball history, it’s fair to point out that Pappas was an excellent pitcher, and continued a fine career in the NL. Threw a no-hitter for the Cubs.

    • robc

      It was bad, but by no means the worst.

      Jeff Bagwell for Larry Anderson is far, far worse. The Red Sox got 2? 3? months of an okay relief pitcher and gave up Bagwell’s entire HOF career. And it wasn’t like it wasn’t known what Bagwell was. Sure, he was in AA and playing 3rd, and Red Sox had Boggs, but, umm…you don’t give up a Bagwell.

      And that isn’t the worst ever either.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    HORRIFIC

    A restaurant in Castle Rock, Col., is attracting viral attention as footage circulates showing its business packed with customers on Mother’s Day despite a state order requiring restaurants to reduce their businesses to delivery options and drive-up service amid the coronavirus pandemic.

    Videos picking up traction on Twitter on Sunday show the local restaurant, C&C Coffee and Kitchen, loaded with customers, many of whom could be seen not wearing a mask, as recommended by government and health officials, or adhering to social distancing guidelines.

    ——-

    “So much for some of those people saying nobody would show up,” Arellano, who does not wear a mask in the video added, smiling. “And our patio’s full too. Thank you, thank you, thank you so much for this support guys. I gotta get back to work. Have a great day.”

    ——-

    Polis’s office also pushed back against restaurants they said were “breaking the law” in the statement.

    “These restaurants are not only breaking the law, they are endangering the lives of their staff, customers, and community,” the representative said.

    According to the Denver Post, those who violate the state’s public health mandate can face jail time or a fine of up to $1,000.

    One customer told the local newspaper that he’s filing a complaint with the local department over the apparent violation at the business in Castle Rock.

    “I wasn’t even going to eat the food even if I had gotten it. I walked in, took the picture and turned right around,” he told the paper.

    Some douchebag went there, didn’t like what he saw and left. So far, so good. Filing a complaint? Go Die in a fire.

    How was the food, Q?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      The busybody rats are now the heroes. What a sad world.

      • AlexinCT

        This is what the neo-fascist-marxist government types have been working towards for decades. When they tell you they pine for the power governments like those in Europe or China have to fuck over citizens that get out of line, they mean it. Shit, look at how they all have let out their totalitarian freak as soon as the opportunity presented itself!

    • B.P.

      You’re not a customer if you aren’t buying something.

  33. Rebel Scum

    Congress has no business investigating someone in office under the guise of “government oversight” for things that happened before they entered government service.

    The investigations will continue until Bad Orange Man is removed.

    • PieInTheSky

      Is there really libertarianism which is not inherently decentralized?

      • leon

        Wasn’t there some Cato or other DC libertarian site that had a “Why state don’t have the right to secession” article? I think that version is inherently centralized. It is an “Imposed libertarianism”. i.e they are technocrat central planners, who just think that imposing libertarianism is the right way to plan society.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        He seems to have a bit of a skewed view of libertarianism. I’m sure you can find a couple of dain bramaged libertarians who think the opposite but there’s precisely nothing unique or groundbreaking about that tweet.

  34. Rebel Scum

    One kind of weapon that has been selling out is a build-it-yourself firearm known as a ghost gun because it skirts most federal gun laws.

    What does a ghost need a gun for? They’re already dead.

    There’s no background check and no serial number, making ghost guns invisible to police and almost impossible to trace when used in a crime. We were surprised that it’s all perfectly legal.

    Everybody panic. There is something that stands outside of state control.

    After a year and a half of reporting, we discovered that ghost guns, once mainly popular with gun enthusiasts, have also become a weapon of choice for criminals, manufactured by gangs and used in mass shootings.

    I am going to go ahead and call bullshit.

    • juris imprudent

      Of course it is bullshit – right in the name “C” “BS”.

    • creech

      One of the on-camera interviewed guys said there were millions of these ghost guns out there. If of no use except to criminals, why haven’t there been millions of crimes committed with them? Same with AR-15s – if there are 10 or 20 million of them in America, and there’s no use for them except for mass killing of innocent school kids and concert goers, then why aren’t there thousands of mass shootings each day?

    • Agent Cooper

      Didn’t you see R.I.P.D.?

      Well, actually no one saw R.I.P.D.

  35. Rufus the Monocled

    Question. Why shouldn’t sports allow for fans to come back? Maybe close off sections. Sell every second seat. Ease it in. Instead of 80 000 let 40 000 or 30 000 in with some kind of SD nonsense.

    I know, I know. I want granny to die but my take is resumption of normalcy must happen real soon. Heck, ram it through I say! And watch, these Wuhan numbers are going to be adjusted downwards in the next year. It will go down as the biggest over reaction of our times. But they will all say, ‘WE HAD NO CHOICE! WE DIDN’T KNOW THEN WHAT WE KNOW NOW! I WAS STANDING FOR PUNKY BREWSTER WHEN YOUZ ALL WAS NOTHIN’!”

    So. There’s no way in hell some kind of negative fall out will happen. Aside from the economy being decimated and 265 million people being pushed to the brink of starvation because of this hysterical panic, what will it be?

    Permanent nagging about social distancing? I wish because this would be the least of our problems. Digital ID? Mandatory vaccines? Certified immunity?

    What will be the negative fall out?

    • Rufus the Monocled

      i was standing IN for Punk Brewster when all of youz was nothin’.

      Ugh.

    • PieInTheSky

      Asking such questions can get you into trouble Rufus.

      What will be the negative fall out? – none. People will learn to be less consumerist and embrace ecosocialism. We shall all be living in one big Shire with pretty underground houses with round doors and windows and fat jolly people drinking good beer and smoking pipe weed and eating taters.

    • Count Potato

      I have no idea. Predictions range from “nothingburger” to “TEOTWAWKI”

    • Pope Jimbo

      That is so cute you think standing for Punky Brewster makes you cool. I was standing with Pinky Tuscadero back when know one had even heard of the shocker!

      Also any sports league that starts up and plays in empty stadiums is going to fuck themselves stadium-wise. It would totally prove that for 90% of the fans, the experience wouldn’t change at all. So why fleece the tax payers for billions?

      • sloopyinca

        Pinky Tuscadero was shit compared to Leather Tuscadero.
        Pinky looked like she was 40, had been divorced twice, and had a moderate to severe substance abuse problem. Meanwhile, Leather was a-dooooooor-able.

  36. Scruffy Nerfherder

    An industry group I belong to is generating a lot of tales of employers unable to find people to work because they’re competing with overly high unemployment insurance. No takers at $17/hour in some cases.

    Some of them are even saying that employees are trying to get laid off/furloughed so they can sit on their ass and collect unemployment.

    • AlexinCT

      I am betting this phenom was by design. The people that need the economy crippled ot influence the coming election, made sure that they had plenty of easter eggs in there to undermine the economy and the orange guy they need to get rid off.

      • Idle Hands

        The Dems for sure are hoping to burn the economy slightly to hurt trump. I don’t think they realize the scale or scope destruction they are about to wrought though.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      We have a shortage of 11 000 workers in a couple of public areas like education.

      The Pandora’s Box we’ve opened by shutting down won’t be closed in some cases.

      Fools.

      I get it. People are strong and resilient but when you incentivize them to stay home after fucking with their psyche that’s a powerful combo to unwind.

      Knaves.

      Fools and knaves rule over us.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Wait til July when the federal bonus ends. Let’s see what happens then…

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It’s a Catch-22 for a lot of businesses. They applied for the PPP loan, got it, and now can’t meet the terms for loan forgiveness because nobody will come back to work.

        It’s a situation so stupid that only government could have created it.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Not being a proprietor, my knowledge is limited to the summaries I’ve read. No clause for employees voluntarily resigning?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Nope

      • Nephilium

        Yeah. The news about this hurting the very small businesses it was supposed to save have started coming out. One of the local news spoke to someone who runs a day care center with multiple locations. Still no word on when they’re allowed to re-open (that’s supposed to be announced today), and the employees are making more on the unemployment then she can pay them.

      • leon

        I bet we get a bunch of articles about how “My Employer is the worst because they won’t fire me so i can get the higher unemployment, just so he can collect a check to help pay for his costs of his business!”

      • Gustave Lytton

        ?‍♂️

      • invisible finger

        Yup. My little sister is seeing this exact situation playing out at her employer.

        She works at a medical testing lab.

        So when you hear the Karens bitching about not enough testing, remember that the Karens are the ones who killed the testing labs.

  37. Rebel Scum

    The novel coronavirus can be transmitted through the eyes because of a protein known as the “gateway” into cells inside the body, according to a new study.

    I guess facials are now off the table.

    • AlexinCT

      That’s why you should encourage swallowing.

    • Pope Jimbo

      If they would only use this new information in such a limited way.

      Personally, I think that this will end up turning into some new Governor issued edict that all houses must draw their drapes/curtains lest you see some infected person walking by and get it yourself through the eyes.

      And then cops will cruise neighborhoods looking for houses that are not complying and go hassle the shit out of the residents. And when they inevitably raid some group home for blind people, the cop suckers and Karens will still defend them.

      • AlexinCT

        Personally, I think that this will end up turning into some new Governor issued edict that all houses must draw their drapes/curtains lest you see some infected person walking by and get it yourself through the eyes.

        I bet you the totalitarians will seize on this to demand the serfs not make eye contact with them. Use serfs should know our place, anyway….

  38. PieInTheSky

    So I realize, like most, that trying to really spread libertarianism to the masses is a lost cause. Butt. I still am curious on how one might go about that, what works best and what not. I mean in the end, as futile as it may be, one must try to claw some liberty here and there and convincing some people may achieve that.

    So given the general populace understands little of libertarianism, outside caricatures and straw-men created by pundits of their particular ideology, left or right, I am thinking to get through to any of them one must phrase things in a way that does not seem to enforce such things.

    I am starting to think some economist libertarians, who focus excessively on the economic side of things, may do more harm than good. They do not seem to know how to address concerns some people have.

    A good example of this is Don B. of cafe hayek. Stuff like this aint gonna convince no one.

    https://cafehayek.com/2020/05/on-trade-deficits-and-foreign-ownership.html

    What he chooses to give as example will to little to assuage the worries of most people.

    We must also ask: What good is the factory to its new, foreign owner? Factories aren’t profitable – and hence aren’t valuable – by nature or automatically. They must be made so and kept so. If the foreign owner runs the factory inefficiently, he loses money, for the value of the factory falls below the $100M that he paid for it. More competent owners will eventually buy it from him.

    The worry of people is precisely owners who do not care for profit and are willing to sink in more money just to hurt a certain country.

    He does a little better in a followup:

    https://cafehayek.com/2020/05/we-should-applaud-and-not-oppose-foreign-investment-in-our-country.html

    But his first instinct was to answer by some pure economic theory that does nothing but fuel stereotypes like “libertarians only care for economic efficiency and nothing else”.

    Anyhoo. Just a ponder not a sermon.

    • robc

      Huh, I thought his answer, especially in the first part, was brilliant and all that needed to be said.

      When I read the 2nd one, I thought it was weaker.

      • PieInTheSky

        well you obviously don’t have the same worries a non libertarian has.

  39. PieInTheSky

    30 degrees and sunny. This is no weather to be quarantined.

    • AlexinCT

      Yeah, I went for a hike yesterday and the woods I chose which usually have nobody in them were packed with pasty white basement dwelling types that were quick to look angry when you came too close to them but felt THEY didn’t need to comply with the same rules/regulations they want everyone else to follow. I think they gun on my hip kept everyone of them nice and polite however, and I didn’t have to point out to them that they were the ones out of their natural habitats (momma’s basement).

  40. Rufus the Monocled

    New Normal Magazine. “How to have sex while practicing social distancing.” A demonstration with Dr. Fauci, a mannequin and Hilary Clinton.

    • Count Potato

      The goggles do nothing!

  41. ttyrant

    The UFC PPV was extremely enjoyable. Ferguson’s face and shins will be hurting for days. I also enjoyed the Mitchell/Rosa prelim, as (a) I bet a hefty chunk of change on Mitchell, and (b) it was almost 15 minutes of straight jiu jitsu. Mitchell dominated, but seeing Rosa having to play defense for nearly the whole of the fight was pretty neat, too. For the handful of guys on here who do jiu jitsu, you can probably find that fight for free online fairly easily, as it was a prelim.

    • Count Potato

      Stay away from it.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Chronic Wasting Disease is a real thing.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    In which the plebs reveal their true preference

    Ahead of a May 12 special election for a U.S. House seat in the northern suburbs of Los Angeles, Democrats are suddenly concerned they could lose hold of a seat that their party had just gained in the 2018 midterms.

    The election in California’s 25th Congressional District is taking place in not only the shadow of the coronavirus pandemic but also the scandal that led to Democrat Katie Hill’s resignation.

    ——-

    In a sign of the race’s rhetorical importance to both parties, President Trump recently endorsed Garcia on Twitter — while Smith scooped up nods from 2016 presidential candidate Hillary Clinton and former President Barack Obama.

    How to respond to the coronavirus pandemic has become the central issue of the race.

    Garcia has emphasized that “health experts need to be consulted and listened to” and supports the Trump administration’s approach to reopen the economy as soon as possible.

    Smith backs California Gov. Gavin Newsom’s plan for opening the economy, which includes a requirement for local communities to have a plan to track and trace infections.

    “The most important thing we can do is to remind people to continue to stay safe at home until their respective county or community orders expire,” she said.

    Garcia’s supporters and volunteers have courted people like Linda Enos, who worries about the impact of stay-at-home orders on the economy and personal liberties.

    “People are losing their jobs. Their incomes,” Enos said at a recent protest against stay-at-home orders. She and her husband run a coffee shop that has had to close because of local and state health orders to prevent the spread of the virus. “They’re destroying our economy. I think it’s waking up a sleeping giant.”

    But progressive activists say protesters like the Enoses represent a fringe position. Polling shows Californians are more concerned about shelter-in-place orders ending prematurely.

    “Rhetorical importance”- Haha, good one, NPR writer. The partisanship of President Cartoon Villain in the face of our national battle against the plague is shocking and shameful. And those poor fringe elements, duped and manipulated by Trump, when they should be adhering to the sensible rules laid down by the Public Health Experts. It’s tragic.

    I think this election might provide a bit of real insight into the Mood of the People.

    • leon

      stay safe at home

      Cower, Hide, Run. Isn’t that always the government suggestion? School/Work shooting? Run, Cower, Hide. Even though it is known that putting up a resistance almost always ends up decreasing the body count. Pandemic? “Hide, Cower, Stay Home”.

      I wonder why that is.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Feminization of society

    • Idle Hands

      I think it’s more of a sign in that we might have tidal wave of incumbents join us in the bread lines. I really don’t think to many pols are going to survive this regardless of political stripe. The lesson that will be learned here is the lockdowns were the most retarded and destructive course of political action ever taken in modern history and that will be abundantly clear in two months to everyone.

    • juris imprudent

      I’m just cynical enough to believe that the CA Democrats will find some way to win that seat, by hook or by crook.

      • leon

        I think i saw something with the GOP suing because someone was opening the in person poling station, even though that was forbidden or something.

      • dbleagle

        They were suing to prevent ballot harvesting. Not because of the vote fraud aspect but because it would violate social distancing requirements. That got a chuckle from me.

  43. The Late P Brooks

    em>I think that version is inherently centralized. It is an “Imposed libertarianism”. i.e they are technocrat central planners, who just think that imposing libertarianism is the right way to plan society.

    “Arbeit Macht Frei” libertarians?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Carrier ain’t much good without a bunch of other ships to protect it.

      Besides which, submarines have a much bigger implication.

      • leon

        Yeah. If you only have one, both are pretty useless. But At least you can get your Captain Nemo on in the Submarine!

    • AlexinCT

      You would be wrong. What makes aircraft carriers expensive is the air wings and the 6000 crew. Parking subs is very expensive.

      • PieInTheSky

        what are the rates compared to the average yacht?

        I mean given I can’t afford yacht parking, I was thinking you could just leave the submarine somewhere on the seabed.

      • AlexinCT

        Depends if your sub is parked in an open dock or an underground nuclear resistant structure. Getting to the sub and back can be problematic if it is parked on a seabed…

      • PieInTheSky

        Jeez I am not even sure I want one anymore. Did not expect it to be so complicated.

  44. Certified Public Asshat

    How Coronavirus Will Change the Way We Build Homes

    When the world rebounds from COVID-19, homeowners will be drawn to emerging wellness technologies, expects Max Strang, the CEO of Florida-based STRANG Design, a luxury architectural and interior design firm known for environmental modernism.

    “Homes will be able to track air, water, and light quality throughout the day and night,” says Strang, with companies like HEDsouth, one of the pioneers in installing this wellness technology, at the forefront.

    For instance, when kids come home dirty from sports practice, a “smart” house will sense it and adjust its air filtration, Strang says. Emerging lighting technology will synchronize with circadian rhythms of residents, too—a feature that could be especially important for those who are spending more time indoors or for hospital workers who work night shifts.

    Where is the diminishing return between sanitary and a weak immune system?

    • PieInTheSky

      probably past that already. Just roll through some manure once in a while.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      What a crock of shit.

      This guy is like the futurist of construction, a bunch of pie in the sky BS that never comes to fruition.

      What I predict is that the homebuilding contractors get destroyed again and we have even fewer qualified builders after this is over. Ryan Homes and Centex are going to be the only builders left before long.

      • leon

        This guy is like the futurist of construction, a bunch of pie in the sky BS that never comes to fruition.

        OMG you just perfectly explained a guy i worked for who was a hopeless futurist.

      • PieInTheSky

        a bunch of pie in the sky BS – whasat suppose to mean?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Stuff that sounds great to people that understand nothing about the technology or the topic, but will never happen for very practical reasons.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Very few people can afford this nonsense but maybe President Biden will be able to come up with some subsidies for it.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Oh, fuck me silly.

      Smart homes are a pipe dream. The main problem is that there isn’t a real standard out there; who wants to spend a couple thousand dollars on crap that might not work in five years? Also, installation is a nightmare. You can’t justify the cost of professional installation, so you have to try to dumb down stuff to where a regular person can “install” it. Unfortunately that always ends up with products that have little or no real security (because that is hard).

      I spent 15 years doing IoT products and smart homes were the same as fusion, always just around the corner, but never actually here yet.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        I was just looking at new outside lights this weekend. I was almost tricked into buying an LED-integrated light which sounds great, except if the LED dies you need to replace the entire fixture.

        I will instead continue changing my dead light bulbs like a commoner.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Dude, don’t you want a light bulb that comes with its own phone app so you can shift the color or put it on a timer?

      • Pope Jimbo

        Fuck me. Do you know how many demos I’ve put together doing that? A phone app that turns on lights or dims them as you walk around.

        Always tout it as being green (you don’t leave lights on) while completely ignoring that you now have to a) power a bluetooth radio all the time so you are ready to get signals when you walk into the room and b) turning on/off those stupid compact flurescent lights is a giant hit to their lifetimes. All those studies showing how much longer they run? All based on them running and running and running. If you do crazy shit like turning them off and then back on, the lifetime is much shorter.

        The other thing I hated about those demos is that they totes didn’t work for a dinosaur like me. When I get home, my phonoe usually stays in my coat pocket or goes on the counter. I don’t carry it around with me in my house. When I tell the punk kids I work with, they are gobsmacked. They can’t believe anyone can survive more than 5 minutes without their phone. Makes me feel old.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It reminds me of the battles over complexity we would have when I was working as an engineer. The KISS engineers would be brawling in the meeting room with the Whiz-Bang engineers.

      • Pope Jimbo

        The KISS Army Corps of Engineers? Those guys have a one size all solution for flooding: Lick it Up

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Wellness technologies.

      The homeopaths of construction.

      • Shirley Knott
    • CPRM

      Guy selling something insists many people want to buy it- footage at 11.

    • Gustave Lytton

      How Coronavirus Will Change the Way We Build Homes

      Well it’s certainly has me reevaluating how defensible or indefensible our current house is. Is that what they mean?

    • Idle Hands

      The new normal people have such a flawed understanding of human nature and behavior it borders on parody.

    • B.P.

      If the economic shut down continues, the future of home building will be one-room log cabins.

  45. PieInTheSky

    In deffense of twitter you do learn stuff there

  46. The Late P Brooks

    So I realize, like most, that trying to really spread libertarianism to the masses is a lost cause. Butt. I still am curious on how one might go about that, what works best and what not. I mean in the end, as futile as it may be, one must try to claw some liberty here and there and convincing some people may achieve that.

    Stop pretending positive rights are real. “Society” cannot confer upon you the right to never be afraid or offended (or cold or hungry, for that matter).

  47. The Late P Brooks

    I think it’s more of a sign in that we might have tidal wave of incumbents join us in the bread lines. I really don’t think to many pols are going to survive this regardless of political stripe. The lesson that will be learned here is the lockdowns were the most retarded and destructive course of political action ever taken in modern history and that will be abundantly clear in two months to everyone.

    I would love to see that happen.

    Not holding my breath.

    • LJW

      Nope I see it as the opposite. The Karens will be gaining more power.

    • creech

      Me neither. The local pols, of both parties, are getting front page articles about their heroic efforts every time they write a letter to the gov demanding testing of all nursing home patients, or demanding small business get more tax funding. You can bet every incumbent’s ads in November will be how he or she “led the fight against the deadly coronavirus and saved countless lives.”

    • The Other Kevin

      The reason the re-election rate is so high is that even though people hate politicians in general, for some reason they like *their* politician and continue to vote for them. Unless that’s somehow short circuited not much is going to change.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      We seem to be all suffering from a reduction in emotional age.

    • AlexinCT

      Women in a competitive cut throat industry….

      • CPRM

        Women in a competitive cut deep throat industry….

    • Pope Jimbo

      Why do I think they are just hazing a n00b? They are just trying to trick her.

  48. CPRM

    Some chorizo and egg befast burritos. Good start to the day.

    • Drake

      Did somebody fire a black-powder rifle in here?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Zoom has smell-o-vision extensions now? Guess I better put on deodorant this morning.

    • Chipwooder

      I made a huge batch of Italian wedding soup a few days ago so I’ve been eating it for most of my meals since, including breakfast. Absolutely delicious, and low carb too.

    • leon

      Germany? Clearly a racist.

      The other day i read an article about how for a century we will live as americans, with the collective guilt, that we elected Trump. Just like how Germans still bear the collective guilt of Hitler and the Nazis. It struck me as a disgusting way to think about things. If you hold todays germans in guilt for what their fathers did, that is… just disgusting.

    • Rhywun

      Bild is like the Faux News of Germany. All the right-thinking people will pooh-pooh this.

      • grrizzly

        Bild was Faux News before cable TV was even a thing.

      • Rhywun

        Yeah, I considered naming some older tabloid. Hell, Bild even means “picture”. The scorn writes itself.

  49. AlexinCT

    If you ever doubted the guy was a grade fucking A asshole with delusions of grandeur, and a total asshat, look at this shit

    • leon

      Straightforward from here:
      * President Trump has to self-quarantine due to possible exposure to coronavirus, can’t fulfill duties of presidency in quarantine, steps down.
      * VP Pence has to self-quarantine, can’t fulfill duties of vice presidency, steps down.
      * President Pelosi.?

      Reminds me of the Impeach Trump, Constiutional Crisis, Hillary becomes president.

      • robc

        Even if that true, she would only be temporary acting President, as soon as Pence or Trump came out of quarantine, they would take back over.

      • leon

        Nah, she’d just pass an Executive Order forbiding them from returning to office.

      • leon

        Also, i like that the logic stops there. Pence and Trump have to quarantine, but Pelosi is awesome and doesn’t have to.

      • robc

        President Chuck Grassley.

      • robc

        15th in line is President Betsy DeVos.

      • kinnath

        Could do a lot worse.

        Boring man, but of generally good character.

  50. PieInTheSky

    I finally decided and bought an electric ketle. Hope it is better than the current one.

    I could have gotten a worse reviewed one but with a gooseneck, or a better reviewed one without. I wanted gooseneck to help with the V60 coffee but got the other one instead because based on the reviews the downsides like buttons not working smoothly are the kind of things that annoy me.

  51. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Tim Kaine cares:

    As a former mayor and governor, one thing is clear to me: I know that we need to swiftly pass more relief funding for individual Americans and state and local governments to combat the hard-hitting effects of the coronavirus. Communities in Virginia are seeing revenues plummet, which puts services at risk and could lead to layoffs of first responders, teachers, and other critical personnel. We can’t let that happen.

    Watch my speech on the Senate floor here >>

    It’s never a good time to lay off teachers, firefighters, police officers, and EMTs. But the worst time to do it is during a national health emergency. It’s our responsibility as members of Congress to make sure our states have the support they need. We stepped up to refill the tank for small businesses and hospitals. It’s now time to step up for state and local governments as well as individuals and families. That’s going to be my number one priority in the next coronavirus relief package.

    Let the teachers, firefighters, police officers, and EMTs get treated like the rest of us, ie cattle.

    • Drake

      “Right after closing all the schools” seems like the ideal time to lay off teachers.

    • Viking1865

      Fuck Tim Kaine. Lying piece of shit. He gave a talk at a night school class I was in, and I asked him when he was going to announce his run for Senate. He denied he was running. They can’t help but lie, even in the most innocuous situations. Almost as good as Hillary losing was that little creep losing.

    • Idle Hands

      These people have legit no idea what’s coming. It’s almost funny how fucking dumb they are. I used to think there was malevolent intentional planning by politicians that lead to these horrible policies, It’s becoming abundantly clear it’s empty suit posturing and funneling money to voters and lobbyists who are the ones actually crafting the policy. The politicians aren’t smart enough to be behind this never have they are clueless retards.

    • Suthenboy

      Dont lay them off. Press them into service and take their paychecks and put them towards businesses that have been shut down. The pols too.
      The lockdowns would end in 24 hours.

    • Rebel Scum

      But they are the Kings Men.

    • Agent Cooper

      ‘We stepped up to refill the tank for small businesses and hospitals.”

      FUCK OFF.

  52. The Late P Brooks

    Communities in Virginia are seeing revenues plummet, which puts services at risk and could lead to layoffs of first responders, teachers, and other critical personnel. We can’t let that happen.

    Or they could… you know… seriously examine their priorities, and make hard decisions about where to best put their limited resources. Like fire everybody in the planning department and use that money to pay the garbage men.

    Haha, I crack myself up.

    • leon

      Communities in Virginia are seeing revenues plummet, which puts services at risk and could lead to layoffs of first responders, teachers, and other critical personnel. We can’t let that happen.

      But all you rubes who stupidly got jobs in the private sector need to stay safe at home not earning a paycheck.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Are you trying to tell me that you’d cut the Minneapolis Bicycle and Pedestrian Coordinator just so you could fund the fire department?

      No wonder you live out in the sticks. You just don’t understand the important things that make city life worth living.

    • whiz

      Mrs. whiz is a county supervisor and some departments (headed by other elected officials) have people working at home, but not everyone could, so there is some backlog of work to be done as they have started to open up their offices. But the time it will take to catch up is relatively short compared to the time they were gone.

      So her question is: do they have more people than they really need? That’s something that she may bring up at a future board meeting, once the whole COVID thing winds down — if you hear the howls of indignation, that’s probably what it is.

    • CPRM

      He scienced the shit out of it! He had a model! That newspaper was just full of Science Deniers!

    • Pope Jimbo

      Gotta fight fire with fire, right?

      Except that there is more actual proof that Biden really did physically assault women than there is of Trump. Which will lead to the hilarious campaign posters with Gloria Steinham saying “Trump talks a good sexual assault, but Biden actually walks the walk. Don’t vote for a poseur!”

  53. The Late P Brooks

    More likely than not, municipalities will cut back on trash pickup to hire a battalion of social distancing enforcement officers.

  54. The Late P Brooks

    No wonder you live out in the sticks. You just don’t understand the important things that make city life worth living.

    Guilty as charged, Your Holiness.

    *hangs head*

    • Pope Jimbo

      Don’t feel bad. Tundra and I are forced to live out in the suburbs on a waiting list because we aren’t woke enough to live in the city proper either.

      • Tundra

        I wonder how long before the Karens run us out of here.

    • Suthenboy

      If I were building bike lanes they would have speed bumps every twenty feet. Sharp ones at that.

      • PieInTheSky

        there is a whole sport build on that

      • invisible finger

        Good point. Speed ruts for the win.

    • Fourscore

      Whoa, whoa here! Its getting crowded in the woods, too. We’ll make exceptions for those people like the Pope and Tundra and Leap and a few others but we gotta draw the line somewhere.

  55. Suthenboy

    “…skirt the law…”

    Another term for “…comply with the law…”

  56. CPRM

    There are four lights!

    Attorneys representing three female high school track athletes in their effort to bar biological males from competing against them filed a motion on Saturday calling for the presiding judge to recuse himself after he forbid the attorneys from referring to the transgender athletes at issue as “males.”

    The ADF filed suit in February against the Connecticut Interscholastic Athletic Conference (CIAC) on behalf of three girls — Selina Soule, Alana Smith, and Chelsea Mitchell. The suit challenges the CIAC policy allowing students to compete in the division that accords with their gender identity on the grounds that it disadvantages women in violation of the Title IX prohibition against discrimination on the “basis of sex.”

    During an April 16 conference call, District Judge Robert Chatigny chastised the ADF attorneys for referring to the male athletes seeking to compete in the women’s division as “males,” according to a transcript of the call obtained by National Review.

    • Florida Man

      prohibition against discrimination on the “basis of sex.”-

      Um, isn’t have sex segregated sports at all discrimination based on sex? I for one welcome the destruction of school based sports.

      • Suthenboy

        I was never an organized sports guy. I was never a ‘joiner’ or a ‘go along, get along’ guy. I am an asshole…so what?

        I do recognize that organized sports builds character in an awful lot of kids. That is exactly why the pinko shitweasels are trying to shit on organized sports, churches, scouts, etc. They want to destroy any institution that builds personal character.
        That judge needs to be in a different line of work.

      • Florida Man

        I want sports to be private, beyond the reach of government schools.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Sloopy hardest hit?

      • Fourscore

        Is Little League and Pop Warner football still a thing? Maybe only in bigger communities? Inquiring minds and all…

    • robc

      Went to the beach in SC yesterday. Good number of people, but groups were maintaining distance from each other. Honestly, not sure it was any different that any other day, although this is the first time I have been on a warmish day (was a bit chilly, water too cold, although some people were swimming in it).

    • Shirley Knott

      They should include a 50th anniversary re-do of this.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Reopen the illegal closure that is. Oregon beaches were declared a public highway from CA to WA in 1913. The 1967 Oregon Beach Bill states that the public has the right to free and uninterrupted use of the beaches.

  57. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of the city life, and it’s overweening superiority-

    Business Insider puked up a longwinded tearjerker about how some people are “questioning” their decision to live in Megalopolis, now that the things which make city life special have been torpedoed by the panicdemic. No more quaint little sidewalk cafes, or bodegas, or museums, or art galleries, or trendy bars and restaurants. No raves. Just preposterously expensive claustrophobic crackerbox apartments and hordes of germy paranoid assholes you’re terrified of sharing an elevator with.

    Wow. I never would have guessed. Of course, the rats will flee into the countryside and proceed to befoul the nests there.

    • CPRM

      The guy responsible for my small town getting zoning laws was a retiree from Milwaukee. Whycome this place no have rules like the shithole I left?

    • Florida Man

      What was the point in writing that? Obviously if you take away things people like about a place, they won’t like it anymore.

    • Desk Jockey

      Local realtor around here said his office is overwhelmed with calls of people trying to leave NYC. Same as after 9/11. Hoping to cash in on the rush and GTFO

  58. The Late P Brooks

    The new normal people have such a flawed understanding of human nature and behavior it borders on parody.

    Wait- are you telling me the New Soviet Man is a mythical beast?

    • Idle Hands

      Subscribing to policies forcibly Changing the way people have interacted and engaged socially for millions of years in a matter of months is flawed at best, yes.

  59. Pope Jimbo

    Sorry if already posted here, but this has to be a joke, right?

    The children at my son’s elementary school have started referring to me as a “Karen,” and mocking my chic hairstyle. Is there anything I can do in the way of legal action to prevent this? I am deeply offended.

    • leon

      Most definitely.

    • kbolino

      Poe’s Law

    • CPRM

      Yes, children do not go to school anymore.

    • Suthenboy

      Well, stop being a Karen. That is a good start.
      Dont want to be called an asshole? Stop being an asshole.

    • mrfamous

      And a good one at that.

    • EvilSheldon

      Is ritual suicide out of the question?

    • leon

      Get fucked, If you can’t maintain good relations with politicians, you really have no business running a business.

  60. The Late P Brooks

    Yeah, I considered naming some older tabloid. Hell, Bild even means “picture”. The scorn writes itself.

    So what you’re saying is a picture is no longer worth a thousand words?