This is not going to end well.
Yes, here we are again, another weekend. I could have sworn Saturday was two days ago, but hey, who’s keeping track?
The sad irony of post modernism being promoted by high tech.
I still don’t know what to think of this. It will be needed someday, but now? We’re not even mining the Kuiper belt yet.
Coincidence, pure coincidence.
This is my shocked face. You think we would have learned with this whole man made climate fiasco.
Are masks and gloves required?
Let’s go with a little Blood, Sweat, and Tears tonight.
I make you so very happy.
And a first!
I’m not as happy as I could be.
So… this isn’t that kind of parlor?
Soooooo this appears to have happened.
That’s beautiful.
I hereby declare my house to be a sanctuary city for prositution!
Not me! Don’t want to give the wife the idea that she can turn me into a profit center.
I love it. The left really doesn’t understand their disregard of the law can be used against them.
“It’s okay when we do it!”
Good
Big Tech was always supposed to be our friend.
Libertarians have no friends.
Morning, Spuddo.
“We have broadened our definition of harm to address content that goes directly against guidance from authoritative sources of global and local public health information,” Twitter said in April
Pretty sure you meant “authoritarian”.
Authoritative sources. Super smart experts.
I for one am convinced.
Only if they wear richly embroidered garments and funny hats.
Evenin’ straff.
“the RIVM said “it makes sense that as a single [person] you also want to have physical contact” during the pandemic.”
So do a large number of married folks suffering even before ChiComVirus. [Answering for a friend.]
Netherlands announces new ‘stimulus’ bill provides Indonesian hookers to all residents!
Bring on the rijsttafel orgies!
Preach it Creech.
Take away sports and give us non stop Anderson Cooper. Worst pandemic ever.
Bundesliga returned today.
That some kind of pasta?
Dortmund beat the crap out of Schlacke, and Leipzig got a late equalizer.
I find it offensive when people call soccer gay. There is nothing wrong with being homosexual and it is just bigotry to tie homosexuality to something as lame as soccer!
Lol. ?
That some kind of scheiße porn?
Freiburg was robbed.
/ok, maybe not
Did Germany disintergeate into warring duckies? Because I would watch.
Duchies – fu spell check.
I like the idea of warring duckies.
I’d watch that too at this point. Pretty much anything except Soccer.
Fass the ducky on the left hand side
Pass dammit.
fun facts: the words duke and conduct come from the Latin word for to lead, ducare.
Duce means leader in Italian, as in the Il one.
Dux is Latin for duke.
band name: Duke and the Nunchuck Ducks
ducere
Oopsy. I should have googled it to make sure.
ducks …
Meanwhile, I’m trying to find a middle ages word for teal and there isn’t one.
I’m stuck with azure, lapis, and blue (ho-hum).
English, why you no evolve faster?
The series of tubes says teal comes from a Dutch word for duck. Blar is dark blue in Norse- sort of a combo of black and blue.
Fun fact: livid comes from the Latin word for blue. Not sure how that got associated with anger. Maybe a kid holding his breath during a tantrum?
In German to be blue means to be drunk. Not sure why it means to be sad in English.
Color words in Arabic are more logical. The word for white comes from the word for egg and the word for vegetable comes from the word for green.
Not surprisingly, black is a good, happy color in Africa. It is associated with rain clouds and the life giving water they bring.
And Gio Reyna was a scratch (warm-up injury) for Dortmund.
Commodore Whingy is your friend! You should watch him.
Thank y’all for your help this morning when I asked the question about which math program to put the kid into next year. Explained everything to her and asked her which one she’d want to go into, and she said the most advanced one. Between that and the help I got I’ve decided to put her into that.
Good for her! She rawks!
Excellent. I’m glad it worked out.
100 % of responding Glibs agree and you didn’t even have to call a friend. Back in the day we didn’t have the fancy things but were allowed to skip a grade or two. As I recall I was offered that in about 5th or 6th and my Mom said no, she felt I was not mature enough, I was a skinny kid. Life goes on, school was easy and boring but that’s pretty much normal for all kids.
Good job, JB and congrats to our daughter as well.
My son did Pre-Calc over the summer, and just finished the class and took the AP test for Calculus AB as a sophomore.
And I’ll be honest – he didn’t even work that hard in the summer class (it was online, so he only worked to get through the quizzes, and didn’t really understand the material) so when he got into Calc class he pulled in a C the first half-semester. We got some tutoring to help supplement and he’s finishing with an A.
These kids can do it, if we let them.
https://www.aier.org/article/the-2006-origins-of-the-lockdown-idea/
Despite my issues with Jeff Tucker he has been great on the lockdowns. I was worried that his tirades about brutalism and the alt-right would have turned him into a cosmotarian but I was fortunately wrong.
Edit Faerie you are my only hope!
This is exactly what I was thinking about earlier. When the lockdowns started, we were told they were a temporary measure to keep the hospitals from becoming overwhelmed as they had been in Italy. And it worked! The hospitals have been far from overwhelmed. It’s just amazing how quickly the reasoning went from that to “we need to save lives at any cost!” without any real introspection.
That’s what we get considering most people at the beginning just accepted a suspension of their civil rights. Didn’t matter how dangerous the disease was, that shouldn’t ever be taken sitting down.
Act Now, Think Later.
They’ve also adopted the “no one can die ever!” attitude which literally no one applied to epidemics until just right now..
I just watched the 30 Rock episode where Liz thinks her neighbors are terrorists, and she sees a poster (spoofing “see something, say something”) that says “See anything, do Everything”).
Similar reaction.
Get people scared and they will do nearly anything you tell them to do. This wasn’t the usual boogey man routine…They had many people in panic. I saw more than a few people that were visibly panicked.
The naive optimist in me wants to see heads roll over this but the realistic me doesn’t expect that to happen.
This is true. It was hoped that people had “evolved” somehow to prevent this or at least could only be scared by the Right TOP MEN.
People are pathetic. Courage and honesty are sadly lacking in herd animals.
Social Media, “social tolerance” and education was supposed to prevent this. Whoops.
Totally unbelievable.
“The bigger the lie, the easier to believe” or something.
I tease my poor wife by saying outrageous things and then have to confess the truth. She believes me, at least sometimes.
Future historians will scratch their heads and wonder why nations committed economic suicide. I used to think that Star Trek episode where people reported to the disintergrators was too far fetched.
I felt the same way… until now.
I think the Futurama suicide booth is more realistic.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbmQxZkSswI
Serious question: what is all ya’llz problem with Tucker?
I like him. He did look like a wiener when he threw a hissy fit at the sight of Richard Spencer.
Bow tie and geek glasses.
I stopped regularly listening to/reading him a few years ago. Frankly, I forget why. Not that I hated him, but just didn’t find his commentary to be adding value to my day. Fine guy, as ideological fellow travelers go.
I felt like he came down with a serious case of TDS, but I don’t recall the specific straw that broke the camel’s back. It just started to look more and more like he was one of these Penn Jillette libertarians who looked at the two candidates and thought, “Well at least Hillary knows what she’s doing.” Not quite to the extent of Popehat or Balko, but trending in the same direction. I used to be a big fan, and I think he had some interesting things to say in terms of liberty as a habit, very much along the lines of 2Chili, but I also think he started to read a little like an ancap Thomas Friedman.
“Flattening the curve” was politi-speak for “Just the tip”
? Excellent! Consider that stolen.
Watched the Bundesliga today. NASCAR tomorrow. Don’t generally spend time watching either (well, used to with NASCAR, but haven’t watched regularly in years), but sports!
Are the stands empty?
The Bundesliga stands are empty.
I hope Bundesliga has a juicy TV contract…
It does. As tradition, whenever Dortmund wins, the team walks over to the supporters’ section and applauds them after. They did so today as well.
“Watched the Bundesliga today. NASCAR tomorrow.”
I bet that’s the first time anybody’s ever typed those words.
Bundesliga is on tomorrow too, no need to watch cars drive in a circle.
They don’t drive in a circle, it’s an oval.
Sometimes even a tri-oval.
For those who are miss the old avatar.
Man I can’t wait for the gym to reopen eventually (assuming the owner doesn’t go bankrupt).
They can reopen here on the 26th. As long as you follow the rules. I’m curious if it even makes sense for some of the places to re-open under those rules.
In my county barbershops and salons can open but they can only have one person inside. For the mom and pop barbers that’s kind of doable, but for the salons it’s effectively still a closure. Their overhead means it doesn’t make sense to turn the lights on if you can only have one customer in the building at a time. I think there’s going to be some well-manicured civil disobedience unless the county exec has a friend or family remember help him remove his head from his ass.
Got my hair chopped off this morning. If the chatter around the beauty shop is anything to go by (no, it’s not a salon; it’s an old-fashioned beauty shop), there are a lot of pissed-off people who are not buying anything about this quarantine. My hairdresser said if she had a home setup and neighbors who wouldn’t snitch, she’d have operated on the DL. Her BFF does have a home setup, but she has snitchy neighbors, so she couldn’t do it, either.
Pics or it never happened.
Forgot to take pix of the massive pile of hair on the floor. No pix of my head will be made available.
Fine, Britney
I shaved my head 5 years ago (3 on the razor). Not showing you those pix either. ???
I’ll finally have my appointment this coming Thursday. It sounds as if they have some sort of drill that will involve me waiting in my car until just before my appointment time, getting my temp taken, and wearing a mask. Granted, this salon was always pretty crowded before all this crap went down.
Man, it feels good to get all that weight off my head.
I too got my hair cut — had to wait three hours. Fortunately they had an online app and I could do things around the house while waiting. Finally shaved after letting it go two months to complement the hippie look.
So Progressive has announced that they’re extended WFH until at least September 1st.
Well the name is correct…
Just in time for the second wave….so not Sept. 1
The imagery being used to sell this panic is gross. They bombard us with that renderings of the corona virus, tell us it comes in “waves”, tell us about “frontline” people “battling” the pandemic in the “trenches”. Be afraid. Very afraid.
I find myself calling the “so-called heroes” on the “so-called frontlines”.
I’d like to see a business closed by a governor’s edict put up a sign saying something to the effect of, “Essential heroes work here. Or did, until the governor put a gun to our head and told us to shut down.”
Air quotes are “under rated”.
Local grocery store chain has their employees in T-shirts labeled “community superheroes”.
Tell they were Underoos. The underwear that’s fun to wear.
Have you asked whether there are kamikazes as the last line of defense?
They should let anyone who wants to WFH (and is performing satisfactorily) continue doing so.
They should but the weak Taylorist execs who build empires out of staff meetings and make work demand things return to usual. The same execs who set themselves up at remote offices where’s its convenient for them rather than where the workforce or customers are located.
Charles Taylorist execs?
Im disappointed that you didn’t go with fans of canvas high tops.
The Charles Taylor I linked to was a fairly notorious executive….
Also notorious.
Good!
And nice hair.
I’m not WFH but many of the engineers I work with are. Their go-to when they WFH is to schedule status meetings to make it look like they are doing something. I seriously spend 8-10 hours a week preparing for meetings and telling people what I have done and what I plan to do. If I could reduce that by half, I’d get a lot more done.
Rarely do you need to have a meeting. An e-mail would do the trick and not waste my time.
We’re likely going to be working from home more often even when and if the office opens back up and things go back to normal. My boss is a nice guy and pretty easygoing in a lot of ways but he’s also absolutely sold on the 9-5 industrial workday–and this is a web guy. I’m working on setting up some project management stuff in Basecamp to give him a way to look at performance metrics in a reassuring way so that we can just kind of work when we can work and communicate with each other when and how we need to without having to act like we’re selling websites from a kiosk in the mall.
I know it’s located in Mayfield Heights, but has there been any movement by people now WFH in the suburbs who would otherwise be paying income to Cleveland trying to get out of paying it?
There’s already been several news reports about potential lawsuits and rebates.
I wasn’t aware of the 20-day provision, very interesting. I was surprised, but only mildly, that 85% of income tax in CLE is paid by non-residents.
Cleveland is also hurting with all the events being shut down, so there’s no one coming into the city. The Winking Lizard is opening up most of their locations, but they’re not planning on opening up the downtown locations based on the reports I’ve read.
Jurisdictions losing moving will try to tax extraterritoriality just like NY and several other states do under the fraudulent convenience of employer theory.
From the Dead Thread
The real President has spoken.
And he is disappointed.
/Sarc
The correct answer is “who gives a shit?”
the pandemic revealed that the “folks in charge” don’t always know what they’re doing
Sounds like Barry would fit right in with the Glibs.
That depends on whether he’s into Wookie porn.
“folks”
RAAAAAAAACIST!
Have we ever had another shitweasel ex-president that refused to go away and keep their mouth shut?
Teddy Roosevelt?
At least he was entertaining.
https://www.history.com/news/shot-in-the-chest-100-years-ago-teddy-roosevelt-kept-on-talking
The version I heard was that the bullet was slowed by a whiskey flask he had in his pocket but he replaced it with a bible and shot the Bible so he could use it as a prop during his speech.
I spent 8 years grinding my teeth and saying ‘goddammit goddammit goddammit’ under my breath. The fucking pinko Twink is out of office and we still haven’t gotten rid of him. Goddammit.
He’s very easy to avoid. When you see the words ‘former president’ or ‘Obama’ quit reading.
Jimmy Carter
I don’t mind him. He is a genuinely nice man and has good intentions. I also love him for Habitat for Humanity. Just keep him the hell away from the levers of power. Oy.
I think he has some hubris, unlike Obama, and would be better off swinging a hammer.
bah, humility. not hubris.
Just better off swinging.
Me like
The nice guy bit is mostly an act. Now that he can say as he pleases he spouts straight-up proggie talking points. He could write for Everyday Feminism. Scratch him, he is blood red to the bone.
When he said “I have sinned in my heart”; still makes me giggle.
There go your hubris, 61
I hate that guy. His “awwww shucks” stuff is pure facade. He’s just as big an authoritarian shitstain as any of the others.
Damn it.
Jimmy Carter?
Nope, the REAL president says that peaceful protests are terrorism.
I’M QUEEN! I WON! LET EM EAT CAKE!
If Whitmer gets re-elected I will start a petition to have Michigan tossed out of the United States.
Let Canada annex them. Fuckers already talk like Canuckians, anyhow.
I hope she never shuts up. The RNC should be sending her gift baskets.
Yeah, I’d be sending her campaign contributions. Here’s rope, you know what to do.
Threaten people with fines and jail time if they leave home and then pull info from the net which goes against the narrative. How did they think we would spend our time between wank sessions?
Fred Willard died.
Poignant and of course deadpan funny
He was the original Wendy’s girl.
LOL @ the avatar.
I thought he was the original Colonel Sanders ?
Once upon a time, Col. Sanders was not instantly recognizable.
You Beat Your Wife ?
His father was Mister Green Jeans.
He got caught spanking it in a porno flick theater.
But walked:
“On July 18, 2012, Willard was arrested on suspicion of engaging in a misdemeanor lewd act in an adult theater on Santa Monica Boulevard and was brought to the Los Angeles Police Department’s Hollywood Station. However, there was no proof of any misconduct and no charges were filed.”
Will be missed.
He was so brilliant on Fernwood2Night and in Best in Show. Maybe the best deadpan ever. RIP.
Oh my god, Best in Show is the best!
And Waiting for Guffman.
“Make good arrangements with this person about how many other people you both see. The more people you see, the greater the chance of (spreading) the coronavirus.”
Ummm… if the person I’m fucking is a mega-slut, I’m worried about catching a lot more than the stupid Kung Flu.
In my experience, there are three numbers you never ask a women to give you: her age, her weight, or her number of sexual partners. Often, these are numbers you don’t really want to know anyway, and it’s likely both of you will accept the lowest believable value anyway, so there’s not much point in getting into it.
For those interested, I’ve got a Happy Hour on the schedule for tonight, starting at 20:00 Eastern.
Glibs “Happy Hour” is killing my liver. Its already so fat & black, it coulda starred in “Precious”.
Meh…Ill prolly drop in
Excellent. Thank you.
I don’t participate, but good on you for setting those up.
Thank you
Thank you, Tulip! The hydrangeas were a huge hit with the wife. She actually said that those were the first gift I’ve given her in years that she loved. A bit rude on her part, but I’ll take it.
yay!
go down gamblin
Speaking of gambling: Gamblers hard up for bets wager on porn stars playing beer pong
They could always try playing poker with Deandre Baker.
Trump beat Stormy Daniels with a solid flush.
“Essential heroes work here. Or did, until the governor put a gun to our head and told us to shut down.”
My son is going to come out of this with his business intact and his financial situation good. He is closing down one out of five locations. The reason why is he is being very careful about his PR. His customer base is all Karens so he has to tread carefully. It looks like he is going to be successful. Giving a middle finger to the powers that be would be a disaster…he can’t afford to do that.
I would give them a great big double middle finger…but then he is sucking it up and surviving. I cant blame him.
What’s his work that all his customers are Karens?
Gyms that specialize in doctors/lawyers middle aged wives. 5 gyms from one end of the state to the other.
I tease him that he is a sex therapist.
LOL. I guess it would be a pretty target rich environment.
It is hilarious when I go to visit him at work. You should see the looks I get. Apparently toxic masculinity looks like a fresh turd to those chicks.
Oh, a ghyme.
I loved that episode.
“Plus a secret ingredient that unleashes the awesome power of apples!”
“People were a lot stronger in those days. I was jitterbuggin’ that very night!”
War on poverty. War on drugs. War on terror. War on corona. Warren Zevon.
When will the madness end?
March Madness was already cancelled.
Just been repackaged.
I’d like to subscribe to your newsletter.
Why would anyone want to overcome the Asian butt? That’s the best physical feature of Asian women!
Keep cool heads, awesome Asian ladies. The Kardashian thing is just a fad and the world will come to its senses again soon.
We never seem to have a War on Senseless Wars, do we ?
Only war we’ve won is the “War of Education”. Not a single child was left behind, rather, all were left behind. No favortism
Friday Funbags likes the Dutch government’s plan.
http://archive.li/bjzzt
Day late is better than never.
Oops.
Coincidence, pure coincidence.
Ew
Lady/Gheyglib bait.
https://pagesix.com/2020/04/22/chad-johnson-reveals-plans-to-launch-porn-career-in-las-vegas/
Who this guy is I haven’t a clue.
Not. Bad. Not bad at all.
Former “Bachelorette” star Chad Johnson revealed on Tuesday that he wants to move to Las Vegas to launch his porn career after a domestic violence arrest has seemingly impacted his job prospects
Been there.
“Goodbye Wisconsin, Hello Nippon!”
I wonder if he knows that the money is (maybe was – I can’t say I keep up with this stuff) in the gay side of the industry?
He’s both a Chad and a Johnson. How appropriate.
But in between takes he’s just a hanging Chad.
Dimpled Chad
My first thought is it was Ochocinco.
Well, that’s one person who isn’t worried about the kung flu.
https://youtu.be/347M0hcgjcw
The original Monster Magnet IMO.
?
““Anything that goes against [World Health Organization] recommendations would be a violation of our policy and so removal is another really important part of our policy,” CEO Susan Wojcicki told CNN.”
OFFS!
Shorter Susan: “I am a joke”
So acknowledging the existence of Taiwan?
My favorite Susan moment is when some purple-haired Karen complained to her that her son found Ben Shapiro videos on the tube.
She is such a Susan.
I see the chickens are beginning to roost. That is my call.
Tucker, Ambien and sleep.
Tomorrow the world’s cutest Granddaughter gets her birthday present – a pink jewelry box with a crystal unicorn that rotates and plays ‘What a Wonderful World’.
At least you didnt go with this- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qwa0c8VO71s
She is only 4 so it probably wouldn’t matter.
It would be a bonus if she plays it over and over and over and drives my son nuts.
Hey! I have a music box that plays that!
Of course, I wouldn’t leave the box open and let it play for 3:11. Works much better in a shorter format.
You’re a great grandfather.
Better Louis Armstrong song
My nominee
My fave
https://youtu.be/Dw9M6cNHO9g
Brings back childhood memories of Christmas.
My favorite version
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z26BvHOD_sg
Mine too.
You should take Ambien and Ritalin- so you can focus on your dreams.
One of my granddaughter’s turned 10 today. Going to see her next weekend:)
My youngest grand daughter just announced her wedding plans. Both she and her husband have 1st year teaching jobs this fall in an Alaskan village. Cultural shock but also a great adventure awaits them.
Which village? Or region if you don’t want to get into the weeds.
I’ve been to 1/3 of the off the road villages.
Galena. My GD is History, her soon to be husband Industrial Arts. School pulls in boarding students from even more remote villages.
Wow, that is cool.
That is awesome. Every now and then my wife and I talk about going to Alaska. Probably not to live–too cold for my blood–but definitely to visit. It looks absolutely beautiful, and the people seem really, really nice and just weird enough to be fun.
The Imperial College model doesnt givw the same results with the same seeds.
You figure that would be one of the first things they test.
They just ran it multiple times and averaged.
It was well known.
The one with the cobbled-together spaghetti code they won’t let anyone look at?
The one **after** they let microsoft clean it up some.
The original too, but, as you say, they wont release it.
And nothing happened.
Glen Campbell- National Treasure
Lol.
https://twitter.com/VerminSupreme/status/1261723202511872000?s=19
LOLOLOL
Wasn’t supposed to be a reply. Stupid phone.
Relevant
Glen Campbell is a god.
He is in my pantheon with Karen Carpenter.
I used to joke “I have these black ants around the maple trees, but they’re really skinny. They’re Karen Carpenter ants.”
The series of tubes says carpenter comes from the Latin word for wagon, carpentarius, which is the root of the words carriage and car.
Did you hear about the Vietnamese woodworker who told people not to procrastinate? He was called Carpenter Diem.
Some of the great ones are gone
The great thing about artists is that they will never be gone.
We’re living in a wonderful time, in spite of the politicians
https://twitter.com/emilyslist/status/1261327983656214535
I agree, Elizabeth Warren is cancer.
From the replies.
“12 karens of the apocalypse”
♫ On the 12th day of lockdown, my true love gave to me, 12 Karens bitching and a face mask to wear in Hardee’s!
Nice:)
Hey Count, just wanted to give you a tip for online shopping. If you have a Costco near you, you can order online from them and get the membership prices. My wife did it today. I told her there’s no way, but I was wrong. She got a lot of stuff at great prices and including more name brand TP (god we have 10 years worth now), hand sanitizer and other stuff you might have been looking for, delivered in less than 2 hours.
Check out Instacart.com. So if you have a Costco near you, you can get their membership prices without memberhip, but there are a lot of other store choices, BJs, Giant, Safeway, etc. their app is great and delivery is fast.
We’re already working up another order we liked it so much.
I dont understand the toilet paper thing. What is that?
I don’t either. I guess it’s a chick thing. I was just wanting to help Count with some online shopping tip.
Thanks 🙂
Sure, good luck!
You were able to order TP online from Costco? I haven’t seen it the store for well over a month.
“Elizabeth Warren is cancer”
No, she’s part of a much worse disease.
“Today the well-known disease Cancer announced that it is battling a fierce case of Elizabeth Warren…”
Please hack the ACA website and post that.
Heroic Cancer.
Lol
Taint Rickettes?
NOT ONE LATINX!
God, these people are so insufferable.
JFC This asshole should be ridiculed into hiding.
https://twitter.com/Chesschick01/status/1261813481562607616?s=19
I guess that is one way to describe hanging.
Phyllis George, 1949-2020
Here’s some vintage video of George.
Met stadium. The Vikes have been all downhill ever since they left there.
What a douche
Of course that happened. What a dickhead.
Speaking of douches…
lol….wtf? I don’t even get that. Right over my head. You start drinking early?
lol….wtf?
Exactly what I was going for.
Envy is an ugly thing.
He has a special place in my black, frozen, dead heart.
I for one can hardly wait to by one of Elon’s new Chipla’s, the new futuristic electric, zero emission wood chipper.
To be honest, I will feel a bit guilty about taking the Federal subsidy to buy one.
I’m not an Elon guy, but I like his take on the Cali shutdown. And between Preet and Elon, if I had to swap lives with one of them, I’m picking Elon every damn day. Preet’s a bootlicking authoritarian hack.
I’m a huge Elon Musk fan… despite his far left political leanings.
One cannot help but think that dealing with governments populated by his people might push him over to the L libertarian camp. They certainly have not shown him any love for all he’s done for their causes.
Is it Glib zoom time yet?
I am guessing all of those…uh…people….are trying to get laid. They will be unsuccessful.
The two guys on the right front have already made their decision
Ironically, I don’t think there are any females in those two’s futures (and they are super fine with that).
The more you act like a pussy the less of it you will see.
Are they all transitioning? NTTIAWWT
I’m gonna go ahead and say 50% of the men in that room have or intend to get a chick drunk and touch her bewbs while she’s passed out. They’ll play it off as “snuggling”.
This is life being retired. It is Saturday…no Tucker so y’all are stuck with me for another half of an hour or so.
Then what happens?
“It is Saturday” every day, right?
On Saturdays record Greg Gutfield since you can’t have Tucker Carlson. Some good rants and some laffs too. Plus Kat Timpf, she was wearing a very nice sundress tonight. Especially now that she’s proudly calling herself a libertarian I’m putting her on my free pass list.
Jean-Claud Van Damme may be my favorite actor, ever.
There’s people out there who don’t like or haven’t watched Bloodsport. This is unfathomable.
Those aren’t people. They are empty husks.
Just started Bloodsport. What a great film. Does the splits and punches Bolo in the nuts. The End!
I haven’t purchased anything through a ffl in weeks. I feel like I’m slacking.
Dude….I went on the wagon three years ago. It still bothers me but I just cant justify spending more money on blued steel. Before my boating tragedy it would take me two weeks to clean them all. Of course I had 4 generations worth including an 18-fifty something 32 rimfire and a S&W 32 revolver my great-great grandfather used to nail a panther that was killing calves.
Damned top-heavy boats.
Murder Hornet Attack!
No, I’m must kidding, sort of.
We were cleaning the deck today and getting ready to grill and I kept telling wifey to make sure the screen doors on the patio are closed, but of course, she didn’t listen to me, cuz she’s one them fureners, not well versed in American bugs.
Next thing I know, we were in the dining room talking and I spy a bee. But not just any bee. A hornet. I’m not talking murder hornet, but I’m also not talking those little annoying yellow jackets. This was one of the big black hornets you do not want to get stung by. So it’s buzzing around near wifey and she’s very allergic to bee stings. So I told her, there’s a hornet, go in the bedroom and close the door. She sees it and she’s like ‘eek!’ and scurries off.
Now, since Spring was cancelled and all, I forgot to bring my tennis racket up here (bee killing Armageddon). So I kept an eye on this fucker and went to get a broom and the first time I saw him still against the patio door, I smashed him flat.
That’s when I notice he has a companion trying to get in. I managed to trap that guy between the screen door and the glass patio door so he was trapped. I went to tell wife it’s OK to come out and then she went to the laundry room and came back with a spray bottle and went out on the deck. Turned out to be a spray bottle of bleach and she neutralized the trapped hornet (by neutralize mean kill). Turns out they don’t take bleach too well.
I gotta go down to storage tomorrow and get my tennis racket.
If it’s a bee it was a she. The male bees only get to fuck the queen and die.
These male Dawson’s bees from ‘Straya are mighty fierce. Their life cycle is like ZARDOZ:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnJ84f9ExXw
[Imagines Dawson’s Creek Bees]
♫ I wanna mate before my life is over; bite and sting my rivals to death!
I don’t care unless they stay fail to stay away from me. If the fail, they need to die.
Unless it’s one of those big black wood bees. Those are completely harmless. I freaked my wife out last year by getting one of them to land on my hand and take off again.
Oh and Honey Bees of course. Which don’t exist anymore because cell towers and global warming.
I put the little darlings out 2 weeks ago, as cold as its been (snow last Saturday) the sweethearts have been busy working, finding nectar and pollen, living the good life in the North Woods. Makes me more appreciative than ever.
Ain’t no lockdown when its gone. Those little fellers are thumbing their noses at the gov and his henchmen.
How about something like this?
https://www.cci-ammunition.com/rimfire/cci/rimfire_shotshell/6-39.html
I prefer using a .357 Mag
You must have very good aim.
I mentioned this a while back here, but I once killed a hornet with a shotgun and my grandmother was not happy that I vaporized her favorite wind chime with the kill. Shit happens, right?
My grandma almost blew up her kitchen because she shot the gas oven with a shotgun when she saw a rat crawl near it.
Fortunately she survived and gave birth to my mom years later.
LOL
For some reason that reminds me of a story my grandmother told me. Her mother got into an argument with her father about something. She’s vague on the details, but I suspect that she thought he was stepping out on her. Theirs was a fairly well-to-do Memphis family, as she tells it, and besides the emotional pain of the thought of her husband making time with some hussy there was the even worse shame of having a husband that was making a fool of her. At some point in the argument, as the story goes, my great-grandmother pulled out a pistol and shot my great-grandfather in the shoulder. Because it was a .380 and she pulled to the right, she just winged him, and as a result they apparently made up and went on to have a very happy marriage. Or at least a marginally successful one, as evinced by my grandmother being able to tell me the story.
I use those .22 shot shells on things in the small live trap. Gophers, mice, a small raccoon. Like a Mafia hit man, a 4″ shot and the critter is done.
I’m picturing that scene in Goodfellas where Joe Pesci walks into the house thinking he’s about to get made and then sees the tarp on the floor.
Bee. Hornet. Apples. Oranges.
Do not kill bees. They are your friend.
If a bee gets in the house put a drop of sugar or honey on your finger. Hold that right in front of the bee. She will immediately begin drinking that. Take her outside and wave your finger a couple of times and she will fly away. She wont sting you.
*Bees are very social creatures and a lot smarter than people think. I feed them in the winter and into early spring until the blooms start. If they run out of food and I haven’t put any out I cant go in the yard without them pestering the hell out of me. They light all over me and buzz in my face. I put more pollen and sugar out…they leave me alone. They are as bad as stray dogs.
Sorry dude, I didn’t meant to use the term bee. I don’t kill bees. Hornet and Wasps, yeah, kill on site.
Same here. I have a Red Ryder BB gun I used to kill wasps and hornets with but my eyesight is starting to fail. I cant hit them anymore with that so now I use my Bug-A-Salt gun and a badminton racket.
Me and my cousin, when I was about 10, went on a campaign of killing them in the summer. with BB guns. Then we would track them to their next/hive, wait until sundown, and gas it and set it on fire.
I’m working on a hornet/wasp neutralizing drone.
When I lived in Tanzania, there was a corn flour mill on the school compound. A friendly Masai guy ran it. He was usually covered in dust and the bees were always buzzing nearby. I asked him how he never got stung. He said the bees and his friends because he feeds them.
Nyuki is bee in Swahili. Mzinga is beehive. It also means cannon because of the shape.
Bata is a duck. Bata mzinga is a turkey, a beehive [shaped] duck.
The flour was used for the school meals. The staple was ugali, a stiff porridge which is served with beans. Kinda bland but ok with hot pepper. I wasn’t a fan but I ate it most days.
are his friends, that is
I guess I can cross proofreader off the list of potential jobs for me.
I have been stung by bees 3 times in my life. Every time it was because I was stupid and either placed my hand on a bee that I didn’t see or it crawled inside my clothing. If one gets inside your clothes and you move the fabric pressed on the bee and they will panic and sting. I have heard about mean bees but I have never run into any.
*Bee suits are not sting-proof, they are just designed to restrict bees from getting inside your clothing.
I got attacked by some hornets when I was 4 and for years I reacted to the sound of buzzing insects like a Vietnam vet does to the sound of helicopters.
These days, it’s more like: Come for me G’mork! I AM ATREYU!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J3HYXinYgtY
When I was in my teens and working putting up hay for one of my farmer neighbors, we disturbed one of those big black hornet nests I was just posting about having a couple in my house today. I got stung on the back 3 times and jumped out of the 2nd floor, which was about 10ft down I think, already yanked off my shirt.
The guy I was working for saw the stings on my back and thought maybe I needed to go to the hospital. 20 minutes later, I was fine, you could barely even see the stings because I’m not allergic to the venom.
I have to tell you, that fucking hurt, it was like having a red hot poker stuck in your back. To this day, I see one of those, I will track them down and kill them.
We went back later that evening and threw gas on the nest, it kills them instantly.
I don’t think we want to see you with your shirt off.
Don’t worry, I looked pretty good with my shirt off when I was 16, but maybe it wouldn’t turn you gay?
This guy has hands of iron, because he crushes wasp nests with them.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MFs0F_wOK8
“Jee zahs krais onna motah baik!”
Cool today, about 60, bees were very docile, we worked with gloves but it wasn’t necessary. They’ve been out 2 weeks and already starting to see some honey. We took the feeders off and put supers on. Hoping for another good season. Bear reports but new chargers and widened the distance of the fence from the hives. I think we’re OK.
Unpossible. Global warming and cell towers killed all the bees. Those are right wing plants.
*remembers suthen’s last stray dog story*
Uh….
I read that to – and thought “talk about faint praise…”
Had a bee swarm a couple of weeks ago. Had about 6-8000 bees show up. I noticed them a little before 8 pm. Spent a little time on the Internet. Took a chance and called someone at 8:15 because it was going to rain the next day. He showed up at 8:45. About 90% of the bees were gone by 9:45. Didn’t cost any money.
Not bad.
No, it’s not like that at all.
https://twitter.com/MrJoshPerry/status/1261665185535864832
Business Inside Her.
Socialist vs. Math.
https://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2020/05/14/newsom-proposes-10-pay-cut-for-state-workers-in-grim-covid-19-budget-revision/
Math wins again.
LOL
Math is racist, you know.
It’s well known that 1 + 1 does not equal two for black people.
How about a 100% pay cut?
Non-essential job?
Speaking of which.
nonessential contracts, purchases and travel have already been suspended
Why were they ever approved in the first place?
Never forget the bureaucrats who stole your freedom – let the reckoning begin.
If only there was somebody to blame for the state’s economic problems…
Trump?
If he wants to force an end to the lockdown that will do it.
Newsom insisted his proposed cuts could be prevented by a “stroke of a pen” by President Trump.
Fuck you, cut spending.
I’m really hoping that Trump trolls them by asking for a loyalty oath before he even considers a bail out.
The screaming would be awesome and then it would get better when Newsom, Pritzker and Cuomo all bowed and scraped. The perfect payoff would then be Trump laughing and telling them to all go talk to Romney about how this all works.
The phrasing of this makes me suspect it’s “not as much of an increase” rather than a “cut” cut.
Damn, shit’s getting real. Can’t he just lay off some firemen or something?
Wow. He’s kind of painted himself into a corner here. I’m assuming he means we “deserve” this only as long a there’s a pandemic going on, but this puts pressure on him to end the lockdown so we can get back to “normal” levels of government spending.
My dad and brothers have a sneaky way of getting my daughter gifts that become essentials. Her now-mandatory nightlight was a Christmas gift from my middle brother. Her EDC music box that plays Let it go on repeat was a birthday gift from my dad. Today, the birthday gift from my little brother arrived. It was a Furby. Now my daughter has forsaken all her other stuffed animals and is snuggled up with her new “owl. I love my owl so much. See my purple owl, I can’t wait until we get batteries for him”
Very nice, Trashy.
I can’t wait until we get batteries for him
Many years ago when my nephew was about 4 or 5, his parents taught him to be thankful for his Christmas gifts. We all got together for Christmas as a family, and someone got him some battery-operated toy, wrapping the toy and the batteries separately.
The first gift he opened was the batteries, whereupon he held them up and said in a very theatrical voice, “Just what I *always wanted*!”
Poor kid couldn’t understand why everybody was laughing hysterically.
Got Mom’s gift by mistake?
LOL Santa always did that in my house too.
You need to take the furby away and force her to go back to the other stuffed animals. It’s a matter of loyalty.
Uffda, my sister once bought my daughter an electronic Ernie (from Sesame St) that had a super loud (no vol knob) voice that would tell the kid “Touch my nose”, “Touch my hand”, “Touch my ear” and so on. Then the kid would touch it and it would say “great!” and continue. Man that thing was annoying. The worse part of it though is that it had a feature that if the kid had stopped playing with it for 20 minutes or so it would power down, but not before saying (loudly) “OK bye bye, I’m going to sleep”.
Which as you can guess would only remind my daughter how much she loved that toy and she’d start another couple hours of “Touch the …”
*And no, it never said “Touch my altar boy spot”
Q: What’s the last thing they did with Elmo dolls before the dolls left the factory?
A: Give them two test tickles.
[golf clap]
A woman gets a job at the post office. She comes in at 9 and the boss tells here to come back after lunch. When she asks why, the boss says “all we do for the first 3 hours is stand around and scratch our balls.”
Did I tell the story about the time I tried to get a job at the post office? The morons thought I was applying from a similarly named town and my application was held up for weeks.
Furbies caused a brief panic not so long ago:
https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/55136/did-pentagon-really-ban-furbys
***
However, one thing these talkative toys couldn’t do, despite rumors to the contrary, was imitate things they’d heard their owners saying. “[Although] Furby is a clever toy,” said a spokesman, “it does not record or mimic voices.”
Apparently, no one bothered to tell the U.S. intelligence community. In 1999, Furbys were officially banned by the NSA, the Norfolk Naval Shipyard, and the Pentagon. Administrators allegedly worried that an employee might bring one into work wherein it could eavesdrop on a top-secret conversation and “start talking classified.”
***
The toy company said that Furby is not a spy, which is *exactly* what a spy would say! Nice try, commies.
They still make Furby’s?
Anyone maybe she can enough of them to make an organ.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhgALAYwYPU
wrong link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GYLBjScgb7o
My question about the gyms is whether they will be able to automatically get those payments started again. Especially the small gyms that rely on their monthly fees being so small that it is more of a hassle to cancel them than it is to just keep paying them in the off chance you ever do decide to go work out.
A good friend of mine used to be a big wig at a gym and he said that you need capacity for about 25% of you members. A good half of them sign up as part of their New Year’s resolutions, go for a couple weeks and then quit. If your fees are painless enough they completely forget about them and it keeps rolling over. And even if they aren’t that painless and you were smart enough to require that they have to pay for an entire year before being able to cancel, well then you get them back into that NY resolution window. “OK, I didn’t use it last year, but THIS year will be different” and they keep paying.
If they can just start up the direct payments again without needing to ask permission, I think they will be OK. If they have to get people to opt back in, there will be a lot of pain.
Mine sent an email prorating based on the last billing day. So for me its another two weeks before I get billed.
Ours suspended payments while they are closed. I’m just curious whether they will be able to back to looting without asking or not.
I can hardly wait. I was telling someone that my weight has stayed the same, but my body looks different (and not in a good way). And my knees are shot and I really miss the low impact aerobic machines.
I would have to look at my credit card statement. I know our gym owner was asked back in March by members if he was suspending payments – his answer was “not if you want a gym to come back to when this is over”. And that was in the good old days when were just flattening a curve for a couple weeks.
They were suspended. We also got an email from the owner saying that they would be until this was all over. I’m surprised because the owner is a pretty slimy guy who is always trying to sell more bs.
Of course, he probably thought that it would only be for a couple weeks.
The ballad of the colorectal surgeon
A Truth That’s Told With Bad Intent
I disagree with two of the three proposed responses of a “legitimate government”
I’m not sure which two you picked, but this one is a doozy:
Let me apply the author’s analytical technique.
Political goal: People believe the government is taking care of them
Truth nugget: Deprived of income for an extended period of time, even fiscally prudent people will not be able to provide for themselves
Deep Truth nuggets: Consumption drives production which drives finance, and the health of the latter is beneficial to politicians and the most politically active groups
Big Lie: This won’t have severe monetary consequences nor exacerbate existing patterns of inequality
Policy prescription: [the thing itself]
Embedded model: Unemployment insurance provided by state governments and backed by the Federal government accurately and responsively addresses a societal need
The biggest fallacy is yet again, the one size fits all solution. That’s true for his arguments, that’s true for how it’s being handled by most Governers. The appropriate government response in one of the very few epicenters in the country is no where near the same appropriate response in other metro areas which is different than the appropriate response in remote rural areas. The one thing for sure I would say is universal is that a lot more focus should have been put on nursing homes and retirement villages at the very beginning, rather than declaring Martial Law.
I just read Anatomy of the State and after my blood pressure went back to normal I re-read some of the bits that really struck me, and I threw my own beliefs about governance and the state and society and so forth against it, and I let things stew. Now, I’m not going to say that I (re)converted to AnCap as a result, but I definitely have an old voice in my head that I hadn’t listened to in a while that pipes up with something like, “Maybe this is a situation where you need a government, but a government doesn’t have to be coercive, nor does it have to be involuntary…”
I mention this because he refers to “a legitimate government” a lot in his closing piece. What’s a legitimate government? What confers that legitimacy? Has a government ever decided on its own that it was illegitimate and stepped down? I’m not sure I believe in a quality of legitimacy that’s so strong that a person should be expected to sacrifice his or her own liberty.
…by trampling the rights of one set of citizens over another using coercive force? I find that argument oddly unconvincing, but maybe it’s the two months of house arrest and the bourbon talking, Ben.
The author proposes two contradictory ideas: “mobilizing on a war-time basis” and paying people to stay at home.
You cannot wage a war with no troops. The economic dependency chain for the manufacture of PPE and tests, not to mention the provision of care when needed, reaches out to nearly every facet of the economy. Scale it up and you’re talking about mobilizing every able bodied person. You can’t be paying people to stay at home when they need to be making masks, face shields, test kits, respirators, and whatever else is needed, not to mention providing food, water, electricity, and maintaining the rest of the infrastructure. A collapse of a key economic sector for one reason or another could throw the entire response into jeopardy.
With what? I know I’m preaching to the choir here, but all I can think when I hear about the wheelbarrows full of cash the government is handing out and people crying for the government to just send money in this or that direction to help people the government itself put out of work is that there aren’t going to be revenues to use for that funding because of all this shit. I mean, seriously, does it require an advanced degree or once-in-a-lifetime foresight to figure out that if you keep people from working they can’t pay taxes, and if you can’t collect taxes then you can’t turn around and give money to the people you told aren’t allowed to work? We’re in snake eating its own tail territory here.
I had to explain to a friend of mine that the real cost is that if no one is working no one is producing.
Duh, they pay their taxes with the money they get from the government and since they get more for unemployment than working, government revenues go up!
“This virus is 2-6x more contagious/infectious than the seasonal flu (depending on environment), and 10-20x more deadly/debilitating (depending on whether or not your local healthcare system is overwhelmed). It hits men harder than women, and the old harder than the young. Those are the facts. They’ve been the facts since January when we first studied this virus. The facts have not changed.”
I’m not so sure.
Six times the flu would make it as contagious as measles.
Seriously.
We had 80k deaths from flu in the US 2 years ago. China had over 800k that same year.
10x to 20x more deadly, and several times more contagious? Uh… shouldn’t we be expecting deaths in the hundreds of millions then?
“China had over 800k that same year.”
Do you have source for that?
Maybe the facts haven’t changed, but our apprehension of them certainly has. Lacking testing early on and being kept in the dark about the virus by the Chinese government and the WHO means that we really don’t have a good grip on when it first landed here, who had it when, etc., so I’m not sure how useful those figures he trots out really are. Also, those are some mighty wide ranges, and, again, he’s making the error he’s calling politicians out on when he conflates “deadly” with “debilitating”. Diarrhea is deadly if you’re unable to replenish fluids; it’s debilitating (and embarrassing) if you’ve got to stay within ten feet of a toilet because you ate some questionable takeout and you’re pummeling Gatorade in your gym shorts having taken a sick day. These are two wildly different scenarios.
True.
In Ohio, in 2017, 2243 people died from flu/ pneumonia. We’re currently at 1614 deaths from CV. So 72% there. Flu season last about 13 weeks, we’re at about 11 (assuming it didn’t get here earlier) so 85% of the way there although certainly it could possibly go a little longer. Regardless, it doesn’t appear that its even going to be 1.5x worse, even if it lingers a couple months. I might be wrong, but he sure as hell doesn’t know. On the other hand we have all of those suicides and overdoses unemployment always brings to look forward to.
That being said, it’s clearly more severe in some metro areas. It’s not severel at all in Columbus. Northern Ohio got hit worse.
It seems like, overwhelmingly, fatalities happen in the demographic of elderly people with pre-existing conditions. This seems to be what the data is telling us. If you now have a pretty solid grip on the vulnerable part of your population, you can warn them about the risk and offer what assistance you can in helping them isolate themselves as much as they need to or mitigate what risks they can’t avoid. A blanket shutdown of the economy and the flaying of individual liberty is not even a bad solution, as shown by the fact that deaths are occurring in, shocker, assisted living facilities among the vulnerable demographic despite the lockdown. In the meanwhile, people’s lives are being ruined, futures are being irrevocably changed for the worse, and we’re now looking at an economic catastrophe that will rival the Great Depression.
Exactly. I hope it ends soon because we desperately need it to.
CDC directed doctors to label anyone CoVID-19 dead/related. Adjust for that.
Having now posted two critical comments, I did want to say that I found the article interesting and only really disagree with the very end.
Same here, I think the premise is interesting, I just don’t come to the same conclusion as the author. A few times when he seems to see a very obvious moral answer to a conundrum I see a very different one.
Yeah, he clearly pointed out the political narratives aka spin that happens with everything. The overall premise of the article was quite good.
You know who else had bad intent?
Great tune
Thanks for the link SP.
The site is now on my regulars list.
Are we all sick of those cloying ads on tv that “honor,” “salute,” “cheer,” “support,” “give blow jobs to” our brave heroes on the front lines of the ChiComVirus?
I give them about two more weeks, then all the advertisers will be back to pushing their products and demonstrating their diversity with endless views of gay couples, interracial couples, and gay interracial couples as if they are the only consumers out there. And,please, no more fawning news of restaurants (from fast food to upscale) giving free meals to well-paid hospital staff and first responders. How about tracking down those newly unemployed folks, clobbered by government authoritarians, who truly are having trouble feeding the kids?
Yes I am sick of them. I change the radio station.
Play some fucking music, yah fucken bastards!
I need to ask Santa for one of those Satellite Radio subscriptions.
“It seems like, overwhelmingly, fatalities happen in the demographic of elderly people with pre-existing conditions.”
Dude….they’re gonna die anyhow. I’m sorry.
https://twitter.com/LivingScribe/status/1261842865786957826
LOLWTF?
http://archive.li/au44o/539aaed2fd56d7b26c0dd820e50a02329db25d1d.jpg
NSFW.
http://archive.li/tzIle/19aaf2c55a41c7559701904a231d51fcec1f12d1.jpg
NSFW.
http://archive.li/LBGBn/ee2a609701bcb3e345afd5de39b4212132c2f203.jpg
NSFW.
http://archive.li/2AZQP/cd93a7b67d27d24f42801900b67fe0eac74b0a41.jpg
NSFW.