Saturday Morning Links of Freedom

by | May 23, 2020 | Daily Links | 242 comments

SP and I amused ourselves by watching the Libertarian Party presidential debates. I kinda wish we hadn’t- the quality of the candidate offerings was dreadful, ranging from a power-lusting psycho bitch to a power-lusting unhinged accountant to an actual retard in a bowtie to a doddering has-been to… well… Vermin Supreme. John Stossel hosted, did a terrific job, asked excellent questions, and kept things under control far better than the more conventional networks did with the Team Blue debates. However, he couldn’t hide his contempt for the best candidate in the group, the peripatetic freak show Vermin Supreme. But you know what? Vermin was articulate and very, very entertaining. Far more articulate than Trump, and significantly more entertaining. Obviously vastly less senile than Biden. We’re considering an endorsement. Sadly, he wasn’t wearing his head-boot, but we forgave him for that.

Jesse.in.mb observed that, without that headgear, Vermin and I looked remarkably similar. I’m not sure if that was supposed to be an insult, but SP seemed to agree with him. Shit.

The VP debates were absolutely awful- bad production values, terrible moderator, technical glitches, poor preparation. The candidates were somewhat better, with Larry Sharpe able to actually form complete sentences. Well, it was a way to pass the evening.

There’s no shortage of birthdays today: for example, a very binary fellow; a guy who was hypnotic; Sloopy’s spirit animal; “Bab’s your uncle“; a guy whose legacy is generations of shitty cars; proof that lightning can strike twice in the same place; a guy who had the shining; a rather chaotic fellow; a rather synthetic fellow; and a guy who should have been the Team L candidate for president.

News, yes, let’s.

 

OK, normally I don’t take pleasure in the pain of others. But sometimes I just can’t help it. Politicians fall somewhere below lab rats in my degree of empathy.

 

There’s downsides and upsides to the mask part of Covid Theater.

 

Outrage Theater meets Senile Dementia. Hijinx ensue.

 

Local politics here is an active breeding ground for retarded insanity.

 

An anonymous source says that some people talked about something. The world is going to end because of Orange Man. Ladies and gentlemen, today’s journalism.

 

“Go make me a sammich!”

 

(((They)))’re casual about it because (((they))) invented it and they know that if it’s one of (((their))) own, (((they))) can cure it. Fuck, I wore out my parenthesis key.

 

We’ve been assured by Team Blue that voter fraud is basically nonexistent.

 

 

Old Guy Music is a band I saw live two or three times and… I have no words. They were ridiculously good.

About The Author

Old Man With Candy

Old Man With Candy

Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me. Wait, wrong book, I'll find something else.

242 Comments

  1. Atanarjuat

    McAfee didn’t appear via Zoom?

    • Old Man With Candy

      Didn’t qualify for the debates, with a chuckle at the idea of “qualifying.”

      • Atanarjuat

        That’s unfortunate. I guess the idea of him onstage with Trump and Biden is too good to dream of. Also, my first first, and I’ve been commenting since the Bush administration.

  2. Yusef drives a Kia

    Why am I awake? oh well Good Morning Everyone!

    • Trigger Hippie

      Mornin’ Bob.

  3. Trigger Hippie

    Goddammit.

    In my mind’s eye you always looked like a short, pudgy, Telly Savalas for some reason. Illusion shattered.

    • Old Man With Candy

      6′, 210. So moderate height and pudgy.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Well hell, same height but you’ve got forty pounds on me at the moment. I could use some more fat. Digestive issues over the last year plus have made my height scale anywhere from 205 to 160.

        I feel like shit! 🙂

      • Old Man With Candy

        I think in this case it’s because I let my beard grow out, combined with my generally insane demeanor. Jesse is a keen observer, and I’ll bet my Christmas present from him this year will be a head boot.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Let’s hope it’s filled with lube. I hear he has plenty to spare.

      • Trigger Hippie

        *rereads comment*

        My height?…Jesus…ha!

        I’ve fried my fucking brain.

      • Chafed

        We knew that.

  4. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Moog and Bardeen have the same birthday?

    That seems way too apropos.

  5. Scruffy Nerfherder

    You have to be somewhat intelligent to be as reliably crazy as Vermin.

    It doesn’t take any brains to emulate the standard political attire.

  6. The Late P Brooks

    Sloopy’s spirit animal

    Not Woody Hayes?

  7. The Late P Brooks

    Republican Sen. Tim Scott of South Carolina said he’s offended by Joe Biden’s “arrogant, ridiculous” comment to a black radio host that if he’s struggling to decide whether to support Biden or President Donald Trump in the general election then he “ain’t black.”

    “That is most condescending and arrogant comment I’ve heard in a very long time,” Scott, the sole black Republican serving in the US Senate, said Friday on Fox Business.

    Pfffft. What would he know bout it?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The ever reliably in the tank for the DNC media is wasting acres of screen space this morning downplaying the Biden gaffe.

      I say go for it. You’re just bringing more attention to it.

      • leon

        They’d much rather focus on this, something inconsequential that will go away and Really not change anything ( are black people going to suddenly stop voting Dem?), Than talk about the porochenko call.

      • Atanarjuat

        True. Although some black fb friends are actually mad about it (some aren’t). Maybe they’ll stay home because of it, but you’re right, it will be mostly forgotten come November.

      • leon

        black friends?!?! Racist!!!!!

  8. The Late P Brooks

    Senior Biden adviser Symone Sanders said later Friday that Biden’s comments were made “in jest.”

    Can’t you hear the gales of laughter?

    • Trigger Hippie

      No, no. Those are Hate Birds cheering him on.

  9. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Letters to the Local Rag: Honor Among Thieves?

    The USA Today headline for May 19th asks the question, when a vaccine for the COVID virus becomes available, who should be the first to get it? The answer is simple. The most honorable among us. The rich and the powerful can wait for their turn. They have the money to hide from the virus. The poor and the elderly don’t.

    • Tonio

      So the poor and elderly are inherently honorable? And the billionaire funding COVID vaccine research is not? None of those classes of people is inherently honorable, or dishonorable. Honor is earned through personal action, not bestowed because of a person’s condition.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        They’re victims.

        One group because they’re poor and obviously have been victimized. You know that’s true because they’re not rich.

        The other because they were unfortunate enough to outlive all of their peers and bear witness to the current insanity.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I forgot to mention that victimhood bestows honor and moral knowledge.

      • Rhywun

        That’s cute.

    • Sean

      I read that as using the poor and elderly as guinea pigs.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That’s what is actually going to happen.

        We’ll just tell them that it’s because they’re the most honorable.

      • Rhywun

        That’s what is actually going to happen.

        Good point.

    • RAHeinlein

      Calling all poor POC’s to line-up for vaccines – that’s going to go well.

  10. Yusef drives a Kia

    Moog sounds like Vogue, A hero of mine, he once saw Clara Rockwell’s Theremin, opened it up and wrote a schematic, by sight alone, which forms the basis for the Moog Solid state version,
    a true genius

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      “Face coverings are an important part of the next steps. We’ll have more on that next week,” Northam said Friday, adding that his “homework” for Virginians is to procure face coverings for themselves and their families over the weekend.

      Oh fuck off

      Are they going to require all of the children to wear face masks for next school year?

      • Tonio

        I’m going to continue to wear my flag-themed bandana, outlaw style.

        No, because that would make teachers responsible for ensuring that 5 year-olds stay masked. Just like the magical powers of the yellow paint mean that schoolchildren don’t need seatbelts when riding the schoolbus, even though they are required to be in car seats in their parents’ cars.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        heh

      • pan fried wylie

        my flag-themed bandana

        *bandana-Bro fist-bump*

      • Viking1865

        “his “homework” for Virginians is to procure face coverings for themselves and their families over the weekend.

        Let’s get Governor Klansman’s picture from the party screen printed on masks.

      • Atanarjuat

        Viking that is subversive genius.

      • Trials and Trippelations

        In NC, students wearing masks is actually being discussed. Since the largest or second largest school system, wake county, has year round schools the decision of how school will open has to be made sooner than folks hoped.
        I still think there’s time for them to change the policy.

        My kid’s preschool is likely to require masks of the kids, a preference for the sane parent to do all pick ups and drop offs, and temp checks, in which case we will politely unenroll and ask the staff to let us know when those are not requirements.

        It is a very hippie, proggie preschool, and supposedly will have reduced enrollment from the DOOMERS

      • Gender Traitor

        a preference for the sane parent to do all pick ups and drop offs

        After all this time locked down together, what are the odds either parent is still sane?

      • Trials and Trippelations

        Haha thats a great typo
        ?
        *same parent

    • Rhywun

      I don’t get the sudden rush to mandate them. If they’re so important why weren’t they mandated months ago?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        DO SOMETHINGISM

        The virus is already loose. If we submit to mandatory masks now, we’ll be wearing them in public for the next decade to protect grandma.

  11. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Letters to the Local Rag: Maybe Bubble Boy And Your Hubby Should Stay In Their Closets For The Next Decade

    To the 68-year-old woman who has decided to not worry about COVID-19 and will not wear a mask: Your proudly proclaimed disregard for the health of other people is irresponsible and certainly not worthy of bragging. You could be one of the carriers and cross paths with a child whose immune system is compromised … or with someone like my husband whose condition guarantees he would not survive a bout with this virus. In any case, your hospitalization would expose overworked medical and other hospital staff to unnecessary risk. Please be a decent human being. Wear a mask.

    • Ted S.

      I’m sorry, the card says “Moops”.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Thats a misprint. Its the Moors.

    • Fourscore

      There are a lot of masks popping up on TV. If they don’t get sold quickly there will be a mask glut and cheap as hell soon, when things open up.

    • Trigger Hippie

      Overworked hospital staff?

      • pan fried wylie

        Are you saying they can’t be overworked at their new job at McDonalds.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Touché, salesman.

  12. Suthenboy

    I can’t remember who among us referred to humans as ‘smooth apes’, but anytime I read the news it certainly seems appropriate.

    • Tonio

      You haven’t seen me shirtless, bro.

    • C. Anacreon

      The comic strip “Sherman’s Lagoon” has called humans “hairless beach apes” for decades.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Doomsday larping

    )Europe outright rejected US President Donald Trump’s vision of the world this week. Tensions between these historic democratic allies that have been simmering since Trump came to office three years ago have now come to a boil during the coronavirus pandemic.

    Covid-19 has shocked the world by the speed of its spread, but it is also accelerating another global change in the balance of power — and not in America’s favor.
    The extent of the divide became clear on Tuesday during a vote at the World Health Organization annual assembly in Geneva, Switzerland, backing Europe’s conciliatory approach to China relating to an investigation into the outbreak. Power had visibly ebbed away from the United States as its demand for a tougher approach was dismissed, a move that should sound alarm bells in Washington.

    Five months into 2020 and it already feels like a new era: now there is only BC and AC — before and after coronavirus. Suddenly the dynamics of almost every single geopolitical dispute are being exacerbated by the pandemic, sharpened by the complexity and urgency of the situation.

    MUH LEADERSHIP!

    • Trigger Hippie

      Imagine that, hostility towards the US at a WHO function.

    • Rhywun

      Wow, it’s like China is just writing their articles for them now.

      Despite Trump’s early hailing of Xi Jinping’s handling of the pandemic, he has since blamed the Chinese President for covering up the early stages of China’s outbreak.

      Insert curiously missing “without evidence”.

    • Rebel Scum

      Europe can fuck off.

      Let’s play a game: Europe, you have 24 hrs to prepare your defenses against a Russian/Chinese invasion. Go!

  14. PieInTheSky

    So glibs I want to crowdsource an opinion from you fine people of exquisite taste.

    I want to make a sort of bar for my living room. I had an idea in my head of two pieces of furniture plus some hanging shelves to hang wine glasses from. i had an architect friend draw up a sketch this is it

    https://drive.google.com/open?id=1cH1c-EANmcxoKUxj5S_UMXhdjJJ9gHbZ

    The inspiration for it was this

    https://uuttakohti.files.wordpress.com/2017/01/home-bar-decorating-ideas-1.png?w=640

    but I dont want those stupid bottle supports just doors.

    Now I asked for some offers from companies that make 100% wood furniture, no composites or anything.

    I got the following prices.

    2000 US for oak way to much.

    1500 US for ash wood, still to much

    1200 for what google translates for me as Sycamore maple – pricey but doable

    1050 for linden tree wood

    800 for fir wood

    alternatively I can buy for 700 an already made one of fir wood. I will link in next comment to avoid to many links.

    So my crowdsource question for the glibs:

    should I get the already made one or the custom one according to my sketch. Which do you think potentially looks better?

    Wood-wise is it worth it to splurge for linden / sycamore maple as opposed to fir?

    And who the hell can afford oak?

      • Old Man With Candy

        OT, but I was working yesterday when your soup post dropped. Just wanted to thank you for it, it was incredibly interesting.

      • PieInTheSky

        thanks no vegetarian recipes though but just skip the meat 🙂

      • Old Man With Candy

        I’m accustomed to adapting recipes. Your post made me understand the basic flavor profile to aim for.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      You need to open up the permissions on the first pic.

    • Sean

      Sketch link doesn’t work for me.

      Inspiration piece > premade

    • PieInTheSky

      I reset the sharing to the google drive

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The premade cabinetry will use fir for the face boards and probably cheap soft plywood for the backs.

      Given a custom option that’s price competitive, I will usually take it. If you prefer the look of the premade, just have your architect buddy incorporate some of the design elements.

      • PieInTheSky

        I think I prefer my idea overall I like the glass shelves on the wall.

        the premade one claims it is 100% fir.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        the premade one claims it is 100% fir.

        And I have a 9 inch dick

      • Trigger Hippie

        Is it firry?

      • Oy the Billy-Bumbler

        #metoo

      • egould310

        Don’t like the pre-made. It’s made for use in a café, not a residential application. The inspiration piece is better. Go custom at the price point you have to stretch to afford.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    I read that as using the poor and elderly as guinea pigs.

    Shhhhhh!

  16. Yusef drives a Kia

    Strolling through the morning “news” I see the same propaganda repeated over and over, almost like someone has an agenda, the stories are almost word for word, creepy indeed,

  17. The Late P Brooks

    More from CNN shit flinging howler monkey:

    Europe’s decision to reject Trump’s confrontation with China and the WHO will affect both parties vying to win this year’s US election. Regardless of who wins that race, Trump and his handling of Covid-19 are weakening America’s global leverage.
    It also shows how much the rest of the democratic world has riding on the US election this year. Europe is best served by a world leader and trading partner that shares its democratic values. The WHO vote was a salutary reminder of where power goes when that’s not the case.
    As far as most of Europe is concerned, Trump’s chaotic and vindictive response to Covid-19 has crystallized their deepest concerns that his administration is going where no right-minded democracy can follow. Three years of “make do and mend” in the buckling transatlantic relationship is being pushed towards a permanent fissure, one that maybe won’t sever the relationship but allows others like China to take advantage.

    If we don’t kick President Cartoon Villain out of the White House, the planet is dooooomed!

    *runs screaming from room*

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Shorter CNN: Submit to China and like it

    • pan fried wylie

      “If the pandemic overreaction is just a ploy to get OrangeManBad, then whycome rest of the world done lockdown’d, HUH SMARTGUY?!”

      It also shows how much the rest of the democratic world has riding on the US election this year.

      • hayeksplosives

        Sorry, but the well-being and happy feelings of Europeans are not on my list of issues when I vote for US politicians.

      • leon

        ISOLATIONIST!!! You must be a racist who hates those ethic Europeans!!

      • Rebel Scum

        Conflicting narratives is what leftists do. They are quite familiar with internal contradictions as their worldview and political philosophy are rife with them.

    • Rebel Scum

      Europe does not share American values. Again, Europe can fuck off.

      (I’m in a mood this morning.)

  18. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Letters to the Local Rag: A Sane Person Speaks

    Dear “high risk” people, The 98% of us who are tired of house arrest are not sorry. Please do not attempt to guilt, bash, or otherwise emotionally manipulate the rest of us to cater to your particular circumstance. Leadership has determined that we have all done our part to “flatten the curve,” and it is now time to move forward. I will not wear a mask to placate you. However, I will social distance, use hand sanitizer and wash hands frequently. I will go to movies, go to dinner, go shopping and sunbathe. It is unfortunate that you are not in a position to do these things, but it is unreasonable to expect these things to end indefinitely to mitigate your personal risk. It’s not all about you! “Fair” doesn’t mean “same.”

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      So say we all,

    • Rebel Scum

      Word.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I liked the African American line with a picture of Elon,
        /Bitchslap!

  19. leon

    I’ll admit I haven’t listened to many of the debates, but the ones I did listen to, Hornberger and Vermin were the only ones who came off good.

    Just think it’s funny that a lot of the same people who complain about the LP being a mess because the guy did a strip tease on national TV don’t see a problem with nominating Vermin.

    • Old Man With Candy

      Hornberger came across as a total dick, and a weirdly obsessed one.

      Vermin had us in hysterics at his answer to the question, “Would you legalize marijuana?” He smiled and lit up a joint.

      • commodious spittoon

        Hornberger came across as a total dick, and a weirdly obsessed one.

        So… a libertarian?

      • Atanarjuat

        One of us! One of us!

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Yes…we all have that one obsession that inevitably leads to the conclusion we should just deregulate everything,

  20. The Late P Brooks

    This is what true heroism looks like!

    Before running for office, Nessel, 51, was an attorney and LGBTQ rights advocate. In 2014, she represented two Michigan nurses who sought to overturn a same-sex marriage banin a case that went to the Supreme Court and resulted in the nationwide legalization of same-sex marriage. In 2016, she founded a nonprofit, Fair Michigan, to advocate for the LGBTQ communities before running for attorney general in 2018, vowing to fight for civil rights and consumer safety.

    Nessel was the first out gay person to be elected to statewide office in Michigan, and she was elected alongside fellow Democrats Whitmer and Benson. While she told NBC News she ran for office to combat the president’s agenda — which she says was making Michiganders less safe — she didn’t expect she’d be fighting him so much on social media.

    Late Thursday night, she reminded him on Twitter of all the lawsuits she and other Democratic attorneys general have filed against his administration. In an interview, she listed all the ways he’s made it more difficult for her and her colleagues to battle the COVID-19 outbreak, such as encouraging protesters who opposed thegovernor’s lockdown to take to the streets and threatening to withhold funding over the state’s efforts to expand vote-by-mail.

    Nessel said she’s aware she gets criticized for going after Trump, but she can’t stay silent anymore.

    “I’m tired of having to pretend that something isn’t very wrong with the man that is our president,” she said. “I never thought I’d be in a Twitter war with the president of the United States, but I never thought we’d have a president of the United States quite like Donald Trump.”

    Slobbery hagiography of Mich AG. Get out there and scold, Karen! You go, grrrrrl!
    Soon our long national nightmare will be over, and lgbtqrstxyzs will once more be free to prance around without fear of being attacked or disappeared.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I don’t care how she gets her jollies any more than I care how Judge Napolitano does. It’s their opinions and actions that matter to me.

    • Rebel Scum

      “LGBTQ rights”

      This is not a thing. It may have been at one time but not now. They, like self-described feminists want special privileges at the expense of the rights of others. Oh, and to maintain my theme today, you can fuck right off.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    What’s more, she says she suspects the president is bothered by the gender of Michigan’s leadership, more so than their work.

    “Michigan is the only state with women who hold our three executive offices and just in the last — we’re the only state where the president has individually gone after each one of us,” she said. “You do the math.”

    For no reason. Yup. Just like he constantly bashes that skirt out there in South Dakota.

    • leon

      Don’t attack me or I’ll call you sexist, fits wonders for the “strong woman” view.

      • R C Dean

        “You can’t hit me, I’m a girl!”

    • Rebel Scum

      “Michigan is the only state with women who hold our three executive offices”

      And how is that working out? (No offense to Glib Girls, who happen to be inherently more sane/rational people.)

  22. Tundra

    Good morning, Old Man!

    And good morning to the rest of you freaks and geeks.

    I tapped out early in the LP ‘debate’. I am a Hornberger fan, but he went full politician. And the rest of them are just sad. There are dozens of people in this very group that could better articulate what liberty is and isn’t. I know the boot guy is funny, but fuck man, give it a rest already. He’s actually among the most articulate, but who the fuck is going to be persuaded by a dude like that?

    Bah.

    Anyway, jumping right to the Old Guy Music, every time I say that the Gibson SG is the coolest guitar ever produced, I get massive pushback. Yet it shows up week after week.

    Oh, look! There’s another one!

    Great song, either way. Lots of power in that band.

    I hope each and every one of you has a fantastic day!

    • leon

      Didn’t watch the debates last night, only listened to some a while ago and so it’s sad to hear Jacob was a dick.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Sorry, but the well-being and happy feelings of Europeans are not on my list of issues when I vote for US politicians.

    This is why we can’t have nice things!

    *runs sobbing from room*

  24. Florida Man

    I just had a thought. If government can require me to wear pants in public, it can require me to wear a mask. We should have been fighting for nudity the whole time. Hindsight IS 20/20.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    To be sure

    He once called Barack Obama, “articulate, bright and clean.” He boasted about his working relationship with segregationist senators.

    Now Joe Biden has drawn fire for telling a black radio host that anyone wavering over whether to vote for him or President Trump “ain’t black.”
    His comment Friday is the latest Biden blooper on race that has caused black and white critics to squirm.
    Yet there are some who say that if anyone is offended by Biden’s latest comments, they aren’t paying attention to what Biden is really saying.
    “It would be stupid for African-Americans to support Donald Trump after what the President has done even if you’re an African-American Republican,” says Ravi Perry, an activist, and chair of the the political science department at Howard University in Washington.
    The context here is key
    Perry says people outraged at Biden’s comments ignore the context and an unwritten rule about racial remarks. A white person can’t instruct black people on their racial identity. No pontificating about you can’t be black if you like opera or anything like that.
    They can, however, question the political identity and choices of a black person who votes for a President that spread a birther conspiracy theory about the nation’s first black president, and said there were “very fine people on both sides” of a white nationalist rally in Charlottesville, Virginia, Perry says.

    Wagons were circled.

    • AlmightyJB

      Rachel Dolezal is voting for Joe Biden so that proves he’s right.

    • Rebel Scum

      It wasn’t a “white-nationalist” rally and he didn’t say that. Stop lying. And fuck off.

  26. Mojeaux

    Governor Kelly (D-Kansas):

    Legislature passed a bill to put her in a straitjacket (and protect businesses from litigation regarding catching COVID)and she had some nasty words to say about it:

    “It was an unprecedented and outstanding demonstration of the dysfunction of our legislature, unlike anything I saw in my years serving in the state senate, and of course there’s no way to reflect what happened in the Kansas legislature without how partisan politics motivated everything that transpired.”

    Feature, not bug.

    I’m reading “special-interest groups” as churches.

    From a different article:

    “I wish it had been a joke. I wish it had been some sort of metaphor,” said Kelly, a former state senator from Topeka. “I also wish that this had not been the most embarrassing, irresponsible display of governing that we have witnessed throughout this ordeal. But, unfortunately, what happened in the Kansas Legislature yesterday was simply indefensible from start to finish. There is no way for me to sugarcoat that for the people of Kansas. […] In the weeks leading up to sine die, lobbyists and a small number of Republican legislative leaders crafted a series of self-serving and frankly dangerous pieces of legislation behind closed doors and in offices of special-interest groups,” Kelly said.

    She’s going to veto this fucker, but I think the legislature has enough votes to override it.

    Checks and balances: How do they work?

    So glad I don’t live in Kansas, but every time I hear her say that I want to reach through the TV and punch her in the face. Little ol’ granny type going all tough. DYSFUNCTION! INDEFENSIBLE! CATS AND DOGS LIVING TOGETHER!

    • leon

      I’m always surprised by the states that I’d call deep red and then find out they have a Dem Governor.

      • Mojeaux

        They were voting against the previous R governor who kinda fucked the state up, money-wise. It was not pretty. LJW can probably chime in here better than I can.

        The problem with Kansas is that one county (maybe two) is pretty much supporting the rest of the state (which is pretty poor) and therefore, the rest of the state gets their services cut so the one county can do that. That includes closing schools and raising taxes and suchlike on people who can’t afford it.

      • Hyperion

        “The problem with Kansas”

        It’s self explanatory, no need to finish the sentence.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Well the Kansas Republicans decided to run a highly polarizing local figure named Kris Kobach for govenor and believe it or not, eastern Kansas kinda shades blue now.

      • Mojeaux

        Oh, I completely forgot about him.

        I thought Sharice Davids was going to be an AOC, but she seems to keep her head down.

      • Hyperion

        “I’m always surprised by the states that I’d call deep red and then find out they have a Dem Governor.”

        All you need to do is import enough Californeeites into your largest metro area and the magic starts to happen.

        Why do you think that states like CA and NY make their states too expensive to live in or do business in? It’s so that large numbers of their citizens will flee to red states and turn those places blue. Unfortunately, it’s working.

  27. Tundra

    Our dickhead governor continues his winning ways.

    No State Fair for you!

    Lots of small businesses just watched their primary revenue just soar away.

    I’m tired of this motherfucker and really tired of this Karen-choked state.

    • Q Continuum

      Wyoming beckons.

      • Tundra

        Fuckin’ A.

        Mama wants CO, though…

        Bizarre to think Polis is less of a cunt than Walz, though.

      • Q Continuum

        There are great places in CO outside of Denver/Boulder. If job were of no concern, I’d do the Southwestern part of the state. Durango is great if you want trappings of civilization. Silverton is great if you don’t care about said trappings and want to live in one of the most scenic places on Earth.

        Polis has indeed been a pleasant surprise through this.

      • Tundra

        Access to the airport will still be a thing for awhile, alas.

        How’s the new CZ? I’ve been having dreams about it.

      • Q Continuum

        It. Rocks.

        It’s like some omnipotent force took the best parts of a 1911 and the CZ 75 and smashed them together into a super gun. The only bummer is that I haven’t been able to find a higher capacity mag than the 10 rounder it came with; not sure they make one.

      • Tundra

        No one around here has one to shoot. How are the grips? I don’t have big paws.

      • Q Continuum

        For a double stack .45 they’re surprisingly good. Slightly larger than the 75, but not unmanageable. Way better than other double stack .45s I’ve shot.

    • Nephilium

      One of the counties here in Ohio is opening up a drive through weekends for the fairground food trucks.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Critics pounced.

    Huh.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    an unprecedented and outstanding demonstration of the dysfunction of our legislature

    The legislature exists solely as a rubber stamp and cheering section for an all-powerful executive.

    It’s right there in the social contract. Anybody who disagrees is a Nazi racist murderer.

  30. westernsloper

    Wylie Mayor Eric Hogue second cousin to the Coyote.

  31. Hyperion

    “OK, normally I don’t take pleasure in the pain of others. But sometimes I just can’t help it.”

    Stacy should consider it a compliment. At least he didn’t say ‘You ain’t black, you dog face pony soldier! I’m sending Cornpop to take your AR-14!’.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    Whoops

    Stay-at-home orders intended to curb the spread of the coronavirus could end up causing “irreparable damage” if imposed for too long, White House health advisor Dr. Anthony Fauci told CNBC on Friday.

    “I don’t want people to think that any of us feel that staying locked down for a prolonged period of time is the way to go,” Fauci said during an interview with CNBC’s Meg Tirrell on “Halftime Report.”

    He said the U.S. had to institute severe measures because Covid-19 cases were exploding then. “But now is the time, depending upon where you are and what your situation is, to begin to seriously look at reopening the economy, reopening the country to try to get back to some degree of normal.”

    However, Fauci also cautioned states against reducing social distancing measures too quickly, adding they must take “very significant precautions.”

    I guess Foochy looked back and the parade wasn’t right behind him anymore. They turned off on a side street. Now he’s scrambling to get back in front of it.

    • Hyperion

      Birx frowned through her scarf mask.

    • Hyperion

      Also, the narrative is falling apart.

      Muh Narrative!

      That as well as several other similar articles from not so right wing media over the past few days.

      In the meantime, the much faithful true bleever over at the Atlantic continue to churn out one article after another either praising the Chicoms or saying how we can never go outside again and that we’re not safe inside either. Oh, and one this morning cheering on ‘The end of Hong Kong’.

    • R C Dean

      ““I don’t want people to think that any of us feel that staying locked down for a prolonged period of time is the way to go,” Fauci said during an interview with CNBC’s Meg Tirrell on “Halftime Report.”“

      Bureaucrat realizes parade is moving on without him, runs frantically to get back in front of it.

  33. Atanarjuat

    From the Uber frontlines, it’s been mandated that all drivers and riders wear masks and stay out of the front seat. I can report that almost no one wears masks and if it’s a full load of partygoers they ask if I mind if someone sits up front, my response is something like “I don’t give the slightest fuck about any of this” and they use it. The only people who wear masks are the elderly and black families. Funny to see the levels of non-compliance. It’s almost like how much contempt we had for our teachers back in school. Also, whoever said black folks don’t tip was wrong, they’re disproportionally generous in my experience.

    • leon

      I’ve never worked a tipped job, so I’ve never heard that before.

    • ruodberht

      Why on earth would you have contempt for your teachers?!

      • Atanarjuat

        I went to what was generally considered the worst public school in the town. It was sort of a pre-jail holding camp. The teachers mostly sucked and were petty authoritarians. However we did respect skill, for example 8th grade math, the guy worked really hard and was smart and good at teaching. He had gone to an HBCU but I can’t remember which one. Kids acted up as usual but I think all generally respected his knowledge.

        So basically, to answer your question, the ones we held in contempt were clearly ignorant, capricious rulemakers, who told us transparent lies. The kids sucked too, but we could tell.

      • Spartacus

        One time I had this student in class who was an education major, and she was getting increasingly annoyed that I was making them memorize stuff, because this was not following the best practice in constructivist learning.
        Finally, i just told her that she needed to be prepared to answer student questions on the fly. She said “Oh, if I don’t know the answer to a question, we’ll all just get out our manipulatives and figure it out.”
        I said “That might work for second graders, but if you have a class of middle or high school kids, once they start to suspect that you don’t really know what you are talking about, they will Eat. You. Alive.” Response: pouty-face.

      • kbolino

        It won’t work for second graders, either. Construction of knowledge is an individual–not group–activity and it doesn’t occur ex nihilo. You can encourage it in the classroom but at the end of the day rote memorization builds the foundation on which construction of knowledge can occur.

  34. Hyperion

    “We’ve been assured by Team Blue that voter fraud is basically nonexistent.”

    Russians hacked those machines! If we could just all vote by mail, this would go away!

  35. Spartacus

    We’ve been assured by Team Blue that voter fraud is basically nonexistent.

    This is not fraud, just a paperwork error by a dedicated elections worker.
    Obviously, the way to prevent this is to make all ballots mail-in so she can concentrate on just one way of recording them.
    In fact, she ought to be allowed to go around and collect them from people to ensure they get into the correct hands.

    • Q Continuum

      Hell, she could even fill them out for them!

      • Gender Traitor

        Who says government can’t be efficient?

      • R C Dean

        Don’t be ridiculous. Filling out and collecting ballots should be done by people on the DNC payroll.

      • Gender Traitor

        How do you know she isn’t?

    • DOOMco

      It’s an honest mistake anyone would make

  36. The Late P Brooks

    Apparently, if you try to block scripts on Brave (maybe any browser) all you get is a blank page. I tried that in an attempt to stop the fucking autoplay video which is now a feature of every news site extant.

    Can we just round up all the web “designers” and kill them?

    • Mojeaux

      Brave is problematic for some things* and good for others. I used it for a while, but its deficiencies drove me back to Firefox for the most part.

      *I can’t remember what those things were.

    • Trigger Hippie

      There’s certain sites you guys link to that I’ve learned take one glance at and say “No, not happening.” and scroll on down.

      • Tres Cool

        HM hardest hit.

    • Nephilium

      Are you able to selectively allow scripts from specific sites in Brave? I do that using NoScript in FireFox to allow some sites to load.

    • Rhywun

      +1 “Xyz would like to send you notifications.” FUUUUUUCCCCKKKK YOOUUUUU

  37. The Late P Brooks

    Beat your tin drum, little wind-up monkeys

    Alabama is allowing movie theaters, bowling alleys and summer camps to reopen Friday afternoon as Gov. Kay Ivey expands her “Safer at Home” order. The rules, which still require social distancing and sanitation measures, also apply to casinos and bingo halls, along with tourist attractions such as museums, zoos and amusement parks.

    The governor is relaxing restrictions on aspects of normal life such as schools and water parks even as Alabama faces a rise in COVID-19 cases — and in some areas, a shortage of hospital beds for coronavirus patients.

    “In Alabama, a third of the state’s total overall cases have occurred just in the last two weeks,” Janae Pierre of NPR member station WBHM reported. Despite the rise, Pierre said, two of Alabama’s biggest high schools were holding graduation ceremonies at a baseball stadium this week.

    You’re all going to die.

    • R C Dean

      “a third of the state’s total overall cases have occurred just in the last two weeks”

      Meaningless, without context. What’s the rate of testing? What’s the rate of positive tests? What’s the trend of positive tests?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        ^This, this, this…any author that talks about infection numbers while leaving out testing is either lying by or omission or just pig ignorant.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Meaningless, without context

        Not to stereotype, but NASCAR opened back up recently.

    • Q Continuum

      I’m thinking I might even bang her over Hope at this point. Hope is hotter, but she does seem a little bit like she might be cold and distant. Kayleigh is also hot and is probably also a freak-o-matic.

      • Spartacus

        It’s nice to have choices like that. Maybe you could alternate days.

      • Ted S.

        Why not a three-way?

      • Q Continuum

        Let’s be realistic Ted.

    • Tundra

      Oh my.

      “Maybe we’re visual learners.”

      Brutal.

      • Q Continuum

        She needs to start using scare quotes every time she says the word “journalist”.

    • Sean

      Savage.

  38. Spartacus

    Well, that didn’t last long.

    The CDC wants everyone to know that what they said yesterday about the virus not being easily spread through touching surfaces is (a) incorrect, and (b) what we’ve been saying all along anyway, if only you rubes were smart enough to understand the science.

    • DOOMco

      Just use a twenty sided die to guess what it can do at this point

    • Fatty Bolger

      It’s like a Monty Python skit.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Didn’t they just say it isn’t the primary route of transmission and the dumbass news orgs took that and ran with it?

      • Spartacus

        A whole bunch of news orgs reported yesterday that the CDC updated its site to say that it is “not easily spread” through surface contact.
        That doesn’t mean you’re wrong.
        At any rate, this morning it has been revised again to say “the virus may be spread in other ways”. [insert your own “or may not”]
        The Wayback machine goes to a version from April so it’s not helpful.

    • Atanarjuat

      I couldn’t place her features. Turns out she’s a German-born British-Indian-Fijian-Sarawakian. That’s probably why.

      Tikaram was born in Münster, Germany,[1] the daughter of an Indian-Fijian British Army officer, Pramod Tikaram, and a Sarawakian mother, Fatimah Rohani. Her father’s military career meant that she spent her early life in Germany before moving to Basingstoke, Hampshire, England when she was in her early teens.

      • BakedPenguin

        Huh, not too surprising.

        I’ve just been on a weird jag this morning, listening to female singers who do songs I like. Hope Sandoval is one of those (Mazzy Star).

  39. The Late P Brooks

    Wyoming beckons.

    The nice parts of Wyoming (Teton/Yellowstone) are really really expensive. “The billionaires ran out the millionaires” expensive.

    • Q Continuum

      I like Cody and Casper.

      • Tundra

        Me too. Shit, I even like Laramie.

  40. DOOMco

    I mean, we knew projection was standard, but having Biden do exactly what they claim Trump did is hilarious to me this morning.

  41. Rebel Scum

    “adding that his “homework” for Virginians is to procure face coverings for themselves and their families over the weekend.”

    The only thing I am going to procure is two middle fingers raised in his general direction. (And some booze/music for a nice stroll on the beach.)

    • egould310

      I’m gonna mix up a big thermos of vodka collins and go for a walk along the Sound this afternoon. Get drunk and sunshine.

      Have a skirt steak marinating in the fridge. Carne asada tacos for dinner. That reminds me, gotta make the pico de gallo so it has time to meld.

      Also, need coffee.

      • Q Continuum

        How’s rainy WA?

      • egould310

        I dig the rain. It’s great for running/hiking. Also, The amount of rain in Seattle is wayyy overstated.

        It’s more rain than I experienced in SoCal, but it’s not too bad. There are plenty of sunny days here.

      • Q Continuum

        Also, you’re always in such a good mood. I wish I could rent your optimism sometimes.

      • egould310

        I’m no optimist. I’m just waiting around to die. May as well eat and drink well.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Maybe they figure the world is so pissed at them right now that there’s not any reason to try to present a kind face anymore so they’ve got nothing to lose. It’s a shame but Hong Kong’s fate was sealed when they were handed over in the ‘90s and I’m actually surprised it took this long.

      • kbolino

        Who’s pissed? The peasants? Irrelevant. The leaders of Western nations are happy to lap up the PRC’s bullshit.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Japan is paying industry to repatriate, Trump’s rumbling about the same thing, and many Western nations are seriously thinking about securing their supply chains. Sure, some Western leaders are still kissing the CCP’s ass but there are going to be some fairly serious repercussions already.

      • DOOMco

        All good things.

    • R C Dean

      Nah. The ‘Vid and the economic contraction are bigger threats to the CCP than Hong Kong ever could have been.

      If the CCP really released the ‘Vid to screw Hong Kong, why didn’t they release it in Hong Kong rather than Wuhan?

      • Q Continuum

        Plausible deniability?

        Intentional or not, they’re not letting the crisis go to waste.

    • BakedPenguin

      Very disappointing Q. Here boobs didn’t escape anything except my vision, you fraudulent fraudster.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    Wait, wut?


    Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg said employees who move out of Silicon Valley once the company reshapes its post-pandemic remote-work policies could be subject to salary reductions.

    The tech giant is moving largely toward more remote and flexible work as a result of coronavirus-related office changes, Zuckerberg said in the video, adding that he expects about 50 percent of Facebook’s workforce to become remote over the next 10 years.

    “That means if you live in a location where the cost of living is dramatically lower, or the cost of labor is lower, then salaries do tend to be somewhat lower in those places,” Zuckerberg said in a Thursday townhall video.

    That’s not FAIR!

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I hate Zuckerberg with a passion but I can’t fault him for this. Cost of living has always been baked into the salary pie.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        I find that now the trend is to work remotely or from home and even push for virtual education, is a misguided one.

        Little or no human interaction is a bad, bad idea. And education (online education like any product depends on consumer choice. E.g. some people need and/or prefer it, others prefer to go into a classroom) should still be a human to human one not camera to camera.

        If education goes that route, then it’s probably better to home school at that point?

    • LJW

      It takes a while. I’m still waiting on my inheritance from my long lost Nigerian uncle.

  43. Mojeaux

    I’m going to make cookies and then I’m going to the park. I wish the libraries were open. ???

    • l0b0t

      My sister is a branch head in the NOLA system. They’ve spent the past 3 weeks getting ready to start curbside service today. It starts with those who had things held or reserved before the Quarantinocolypse but by Monday should be open to all.

  44. The Late P Brooks

    It’s snowing.

    Why wouldn’t it be?

    • Q Continuum

      Supposed to snow here on Monday. As long as it doesn’t get below 25 I’ll be happy, otherwise my trees, which are already hanging on by a thread, will probably be pushed over the edge.

      • Atanarjuat

        What kind of trees?

      • Q Continuum

        The ones having trouble are an immature Vanderwolf Pine and Subalpine Fir. As conifers, they can handle almost anything as long as it happens gradually. But we had a swing from 70 to 3 last fall that stressed them, then another swing from 60 to 12 last month. Another big swing and I think they’re done for.

    • Q Continuum

      They’re just responding to RepubliKKKan dirty tricks. It’s self-defense against voter suppression and Nazi violence.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Two wrongs make a right in their world. When they go low, we match it or go lower!

        I would love to really trace back who really ‘started’ this Hatrock-McCoy war.

        I do know one thing, a lot of their tactics and rhetoric DOES stink of Alinsky and Stalin.

    • DOOMco

      5k? That’s all it takes?
      We’re fucked.

    • Rhywun

      DeMuro fraudulently stuffed the ballot box by literally standing in a voting booth and voting over and over, as fast as he could, while he thought the coast was clear.

      *chortle*

  45. DOOMco

    Votee fraud is impossible! We need mail in ballots for every person!

  46. The Late P Brooks

    More crazy people with keyboards

    The question of how to implement a humane form of economics that requires less productivity of individual workers is the more onerous task. But perhaps, with the majority of Americans forced to reckon with an unprecedented state of inactivity, we’ll be more inclined to put down our phones and separate accomplishment from self-worth. Writers like Smart have long argued that this is beneficial and, ironically, can make us more productive in the long run.

    Smart is also hopeful that the idea of productivity will be tied less to individual accomplishment than to a greater sense of community.

    “What this pandemic shows, though, is that we can stop everything in a moment’s notice,” he says. “I hope that rather than panic and try to rush back to normalcy, people will reflect on what it is we should leave behind, rather than resume.”

    This era doesn’t necessarily spell the end of the productivity cult. But it does give us a chance to escape it for good.

    The plague has shown us the path to true happiness.

    Or something.

    • BakedPenguin

      “More crazy people with keyboards”

      What, did Rick Wakeman come out with something new?

    • Q Continuum

      “the productivity cult”

      WHYCOME MUNNY NO FALL FROM SKY

    • Viking1865

      The tax burden on an actual productive person, not a parasite, is at least 20%. That’s being very generous, I’d argue when you add in all the taxes and regulations it’s closer to 40% of your labor is siphoned off into the State.

      Taxation and regulation is what’s keeping us from the the four day workweek.

  47. Ownbestenemy

    Heh regarding masks…Nv guv said he won’t mandate it because of the rebellion of not wearing them is a greater threat…in so many words.

  48. The Late P Brooks

    Nv guv said he won’t mandate it because of the rebellion of not wearing them is a greater threat…in so many words

    “I’d make you, if I thought I could get away with it.”

  49. The Late P Brooks

    A thought-

    If this work/school from home stuff helps bring people back around to actual goal oriented productivity in place of ass-in-seat time, it would be a good thing.

    As I used to say, “Work to the list, not to the clock.”

    • Tundra

      100% agree. Hours matter only when it comes to accessibility. I’ve taken customer calls on the beach.

      Happily, I’ve been able to work like this for the 20 or so years.

    • westernsloper

      Work to the list,

      Ha……..That is what we are doing now. The list of things we never could get accomplished when we actually had to deal with people. Last week we didn’t cross anything off the list because the shit we are doing takes longer than a week. Not sure the boss was impressed and expressed a bit of a tone with me, so I said, “we are just making your job easier, you can just change the date on the “list”.

  50. Mojeaux

    My son HATES virtual school. He wants to be around people. However, what he really wants is drama, to which he is addicted. We also took most of the internet away from him. So he’s been a lot more calm, a lot more steady without the drama of people or social media. He hates it, but it’s been good for him. I am pleased.

    My daughter hates school, period. She needs the structure of real school, though, which I can’t do for her. That said, since the grade freeze, she checked out mentally (likely everyone else did too) and went to work at Walmart. I couldn’t be more pleased about THAT, too.

    • Q Continuum

      Teenagers are idiots. Good that you’re finding ways to circumvent the idiocy.

    • commodious spittoon

      He wants to be around people.

      I don’t understand.

  51. The Late P Brooks

    Another random thought:

    Off-shoring manufacturing capacity was never strictly driven by wages. If “we” want “our” manufacturing and supply chain to come “home” we’re going to have to find a way to keep the army of anti-business litigants at bay.

    • egould310

      P Brooks: Union Buster!!

    • Q Continuum

      Gavin Newsom sez “SHUT THE FUCK UP NAZI!!”

    • Plinker762

      Would be nice if I could build a manufacturing facility without a landscape architect, paved parking with drainage swale and curbing and sidewalks for city street.

    • creech

      My old company wanted to expand its facility in PA. Whoops, the lot was too small by like 1/4 acre according to the zoning board. “You mean the 1/4 we used to own but were forced to give up for road expansion?” Yeah, well too bad, rules is rules. So we expanded the facilities in Texas and Okla. About 15 net jobs.

  52. The Late P Brooks

    Fuck Wyoming This is where you should look.

    Where the hell is Crawford? Doesn’t really matter, because I wouldn’t go back to Colorado, even on the western slope. Also, I couldn’t afford to buy the dog house at that place.

    Things have reached the point where I am making my exit plan. Fuck these people. I thought I could ride it out, but… no.

    At some point this summer I’ll probably do some recon around Idaho Falls. Maybe Utah. There actually are some really nice places in northern Wyo.

    • westernsloper

      The dog house comes with a hundred or so acres. And that house. Crawford is the middle of nowhere and that is what makes it appealing. I love Utah, canyons, mountains and death inducing desert. If it was on the coast it would be perfect. Hayduke lives!

  53. KSuellington

    I linked this at the end of the night post, but it deserves to be seen. I gotta hand it to the Trump campaign with the speed that they got this up.

    https://www.youaintblack.com/

  54. The Late P Brooks

    Alaska.

    Fuck that. I’m as far north as I’m going to get. I won’t even look at northern Idaho, at this point, and I like it there.

  55. Gadfly

    Jesse.in.mb observed that, without that headgear, Vermin and I looked remarkably similar. I’m not sure if that was supposed to be an insult, but SP seemed to agree with him. Shit.

    But consider the context of the previous statement:

    Vermin was articulate and very, very entertaining. … We’re considering an endorsement.

    In other words, they are saying you look presidential.

    Now, whether that is an insult is a whole ‘nother can of worms.