Thursday Afternoon SugarLinks – American Dream edition

by | May 7, 2020 | Daily Links | 344 comments


How about we start off with some good news?

Putnam County deputy attempting to shoot attacking dog accidentally hits self

The spokesperson said a deputy went to the home on Arrowhead Drive at about 7 p.m. looking for a runaway who has been found at the home in the past. The Sheriff’s Office said the deputy walked into the yard, knocked on the front door and that’s when he heard a dog barking inside.

The spokesperson said the dog ran after the deputy, and before he could back out of the yard, the dog charged at him and bit him in his ankle.

According to the Sheriff’s Office, the deputy reached for his gun to shoot the dog, but the dog moved out of the way and the deputy accidentally shot himself in the foot.


[insert that noise from when Pac-man dies]

California faces $54B budget deficit

The shortfall is almost 37 percent of the current $147.8 billion general fund budget and foretells widespread program cuts absent a federal bailout. K-12 schools and community colleges stand to lose $18 billion alone and are clamoring for money to adapt campuses to a new social distancing reality.

The Department of Finance released its projections in a rare fiscal update a week before Gov. Gavin Newsom is expected to roll out his May budget revision, his first post-coronavirus spending plan. The deficit projection extends to the remainder of this fiscal year and through the 2020-21 period that starts July 1.

[insert sound of Ms. Pac-Man crying]

[insert grainy video of Ms. Pac-Man getting drunk at the wake]

[insert telephoto shot of Ms. Pac-Man sneaking out of Sinistar’s condo the next morning]

 


One of Trump’s personal valets has tested positive for coronavirus

A member of the US Navy who serves as one of President Donald Trump’s personal valets has tested positive for coronavirus, CNN learned Thursday, raising concerns about the President’s possible exposure to the virus.

The valets are members of an elite military unit dedicated to the White House and often work very close to the President and first family. Trump was upset when he was informed Wednesday that the valet had tested positive, a source told CNN, and the President was subsequently tested again by the White House physician.

Elite military unit

Can you imagine going through all that training just so you can refill the White House bidets with Gerolsteiner, swaddle Barron in his weighted sensory compression vest, sneak Melania her vodka tampons and hand Donald his ass towel when he’s done dropping a “Big Mac”?

Depressing.

 


[insert pdf of Baby Pac-Man’s CPS intake report]


 

When they kick at your front door, how you gonna come?

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

344 Comments

  1. Slammer

    “the dog charged at him and bit him in his ankle…the dog moved out of the way and the deputy accidentally shot himself in the foot.”

    Bitch set him up

    • Gustave Lytton

      So he heard it inside…how did it get to his ankles? Also, should be wearing leather boots, not tenny runners, so biting at his ankles a) wouldn’t be happening b) would be protected.

      • Slammer

        Why are there no stories of dog trainers or animal shelters shooting dogs after being bit? Those careers involve dog bites all the time

      • Chafed

        Because they are generally competent at their job?

      • EvilSheldon

        Because they’re not occupations that naturally select for bullies and sadists?

      • Francisco d'Anconia

        tenny runners

        You from western PA?

      • mock-star

        I am from western PA, and I have no idea whatsoever what a “tenny runner” is.

  2. Shpip

    Valets assist the President and first family with a variety of personal tasks. They are responsible for the President’s food and beverage not only in the West Wing but also travel with him when he’s on the road or out of the country.

    Haven’t Filipino enlisted Navy men been the White House service staff for decades?

  3. SDF-7

    Interesting that not mentioned once in the CA budget article is that at least some of this could be ameliorated (how much I really don’t know at this point) by allowing people in the state to get back to work. Great Recession/Depression 2 is just inevitable… nothing Newsom can do about it, blah blah blah.

    And an early off-topic, but news worthy (no snazzy SF Pac-Man debauchery, sorry): DOJ dropping case on Flynn. Personally, I would want him flat-out exonerated and those responsible in the FBI brought up on charges (and the FBI dismantled… and a unicorn!). Fully expect it all to just be “Old news” like the Supremes deciding the New York gun case.

      • SDF-7

        Certainly fits the SugarFree-ness of the links…

      • Francisco d'Anconia

        Why did I click that?

    • hayeksplosives

      Newsom missed a golden opportunity to come across as a level headed leader through COVID. The state had plenty of health care facilities and PPE, and cities and private companies and people took suitable precautions.

      So the per capita numbers were pretty dang good, and death rate was low. If Newsom had done nothing but look leaderish and make reassuring speeches, he’d be golden.

      But he saw all the other governors flexing their arbitrary powers so he wanted in. His closures were late to the party and have done nothing but harm, especially to the economy.

      • Hyperion

        “Newsom missed a golden opportunity to come across as a level headed leader”

        Being a democratic star these days, requires a whole lot of batshit crazy. He’s just doing what is expected from him. And of course, as you said, any governor’s gonna feel more than a little sad watching the other governor’s not missing their chance to not let a good crisis go to waste. It would be like when you were a kid watching all your friends play outside while you were sitting inside grounded.

      • Chafed

        Absolutely right HS.

  4. Slammer

    By smokes a Sinistar reference including a graphic. Someone spent some time in the Arcade with a fistful of quarters

    • Rhywun

      I HUNGER!

      • Timeloose

        Beware I Live!

  5. grrizzly

    Has the dog survived?

    • juris imprudent

      I’m thinking it may have laughed itself to death.

  6. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I’d bet money that California has been hiding budgetary issues for years and has now decided to pile on the red ink because they figure they may get a bailout.

    I never bought into their “surplus” budget bullshit they’ve been promoting the last few years.

    • UnCivilServant

      California has been using accounting methods that it has deemed ilelgal for private enterprise to use in order to pretend to have enough funds to cover its budget.

    • Raven Nation

      I have this vague recollection that one thing they were doing was projecting 10% return on investments into perpetuity to cover state pensions.

      Of course, they’re not the only state doing that.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I know that 7.5% was a very common projected rate of return among pension funds and stupid, but 10%?

      • hayeksplosives

        It’s not just the rate of return; it’s the multiple dipping of pensions.

        So you could work 15 years for the city and get a pension for that, then do a stint at county for 10 years, then maybe state or another city, and you get all four pensions.

        And this is still legal.

        I can accept that they have to honor the promises already made, but RIGHT NOW, they need to change the policies for new hire pensions.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Change the policies for everyone, not just new hires. Terminate and rehire if it’s technically needed. Whatever they earned up to this point, but there’s no right to continued employment or unearned benefits.

        Also, nothing wrong with multiple pensions. It just shouldn’t be 4 full pensions but prorated for the lesser number of years. Iow, defined contribution not defined benefit.

      • whiz

        defined contribution not defined benefit

        This x100.

        Then maybe they would actually root for the stock market to go up. (Sometimes I crack myself up.)

      • Raven Nation

        “Change the policies for everyone, not just new hires.”

        So, as you can see below, my memory today (always?) sucks. But I’m pretty sure a state supreme court recently held that not only could a state not change defined benefits for existing employees, they could not change it for new hires either.

      • kbolino

        I can accept that they have to honor the promises already made

        I can’t.

        1. Every type of contract is violable by statute and subject to review by the courts, except mysteriously state pensions. Either all contracts are inviolable or none are.

        2. The ability of state officials to enter into perpetual commitments is generally recognized as nonexistent, except where pensions are concerned.

        3. The ability of the sitting legislature to change the law inherited from previous sessions of the legislature is generally recognized as absolute, except again where pensions are concerned.

        So on and so forth.

        Even where the pensions have been enshrined into the Constitution, like in Illinois, they have once again become the only constitutional provision beyond question. Freedom of speech, press, religion, and assembly? Subject to “reasonable” restrictions. Right to keep and bear arms? Hah, that only applies to the “militia” which means not you, plebe. Right to avoid self-incrimination? Well, you see, it depends on how you define “incrimination” and “self”. Pensions? Absolute and inviolable.

        You take a pension with the state, you should be at the mercy of every future legislative session to decide what your benefit should be, and whether it should even continue at all.

      • kbolino

        I meant to edit this sentence out: “Either all contracts are inviolable or none are.” as it is kind of out of place and was more preachy in tone than I settled on.

      • l0b0t

        Fondly remembers grandfather who retired from USAF in 1966 (after enlisting in Army Air Corps in 1941), then went to work at the water plant for City of Miami and had a contract that counted his all of his FedGov years towards his city years for retirement purposes. Finally retired from City of Miami in 1976 with a 35 year pension + 25 year USAF pension and did little beyond traveling around and fishing until his death.

    • KSuellington

      Yup. I think one of the ways they have been doing so is by playing around with the numbers for the state employees pension costs. I know CalPers has vastly exaggerated the expected returns rate from its market investments.

    • Don Escaped Australians

      hey: why didn’t I think of that?

      you can bet that management will want to get a lot of other garbage off the old balance sheet while they’re at it: it will be slash and burn time.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        If you’re going to take the writedown, take it all.

    • SDF-7

      Given how much they reamed everyone on increased taxes that were supposed to be temporary… and then surprise, surprise… became permanent, I can believe it. Gas is still near $3 a gallon for regular around here, after all…

      Kind of moot since none of it ever talked about the looming pension liabilities even when there was “plenty of money”.

    • Suthenboy

      Exactly. Isn’t Newsom going to keep the state locked down until…I dont remember…September is what I might have heard. It is the child’s holding their breath trick and demanding a bailout.

      Hitl…I mean Whitmer is talking about holding Michiganers under house arrest until next year.

      • hayeksplosives

        Is she insane, or merely unfamiliar with angry crowds bearing torches, ptchforks, and a pot of tar for feathering?

      • SweatingGin

        Does roofing tar work, or is there a special kind to use? Asking for a friend.

      • Ted S.

        Why can’t it be both?

      • Lady Z

        She sees the crowds calling her a Nazi, and thinks the “I know you are but what am I” argument is effective. She’s a childish bully, plain and simple.

      • Drake

        I think that’s Murphy’s game in NJ. The state is so financially fucked it’s hard to imagine how they would recover if we reopened tomorrow. Staying closed through the summer will drive us into a hole we can’t ever dig out of.

      • Hyperion

        Sleepy Joe got a 30 trillion dollars of your money plan!

      • Hyperion

        You just put it off long enough that you can say ‘it’s flu season again!’, so first of October and then you lock everyone down again for the winter. Then in Spring ‘oh noes, the WHO and some guy in Britain says 3rd more scarier wave coming!’. Wash/rinse/repeat.

  7. leon

    foretells widespread program cuts absent a federal bailout

    This is where i think it is kinda funny for the Blue States to be saying “All you red states are welfare whores, taking more federal money than you put in (which is a valid critique of red states). Let’s take a look at that Beam of “State Debt” in the blue states eyes that you are begging to be paid off.

  8. jesse.in.mb

    Huh, who knew I wanted a Gerolsteiner-filled bidet. Thank you for teaching me something about myself, SF.

    • SugarFree

      I mean, really, what sort of barbarian washes their asshole with tap water?

      • jesse.in.mb

        I mean, obviously not I, but Gerolsteiner has such fine effervescent carbonation, not like the gaudily large bubbles in the Perrier I’m currently using.

      • SugarFree

        What do the French know of clean assholes?

      • Enough About Palin

        What sort of barbarian washes their OWN asshole? Do you even orphan, brah?

      • jesse.in.mb

        That’s how you get put on a list and have to introduce yourself to the neighbors.

  9. Sean

    Classy links.

  10. Lady Z

    Definitely my favorite Clash track. Nice cover.

  11. Chipwooder

    elite military unit

    This reminds of when I was in radar school. Next to our building was the parachute rigger school. The PR students were identifiable by the little canvas bags they carried, which was the first thing they learned to sew. We called them the stitch bitches and mocked the hell out of them – “who joins the Marines to sew??” Would they have been considered “elite”?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      As long as you weren’t one of the ones jumping out of the airplane, mocking them was probably safe to do.

    • Chipwooder

      I mean, radar technician is admitted not the most badass MOS around, but at least we didn’t do our work on fucking sewing machines.

      • UnCivilServant

        I have a new modicum of respect for the paratroopers now – trusting their lives to the aptitude of jarhead seamstresses.

      • hayeksplosives

        Look who’s assuming women are doing the sewing: “seamstresses.”

      • Mojeaux

        I guess “tailor” would be too dignified and take the sting out of it. ?

      • UnCivilServant

        Far be it for me to assume the identities of the marines in parachute rigging school, but I didn’t know ‘Seamster’ was even a word until just now.

      • Mojeaux

        Seamstress = some random woman in it for pin money

        Dressmaker = professional, skilled, but not…professional or skilled enough

        Tailor = professional and a master, a position of respect and dignity

      • UnCivilServant

        So the question is, how much do modern parachutes have in common with bespoke suits? They are more precision instruments than they used to be.

      • Mojeaux

        Are parachutes made to order for each person? That’s not a smart-ass question; I really don’t know.

        So I assume there are stock designs to a parachute and stock fabrics. They work on principles of physics and that they are mathematical and immutable within the laws of nature. I will also assume that better designs are being tested all the time. I assume that the fabric is loaded into a machine like a laser cutter and cut to precision (there’s a problem with cutting a 2-foot pile of fabric at once–the fabric slips and there are variances in the finished product). Once the variance of cutting is taken out, I’m pretty sure humans can manage not to fuck up the sewing.

        A bespoke suit is unique to each individual. There is a vast selection of fabrics that lie differently, many ways to cut a fabric to lie the way you want it to, many body shapes and types, and the fabric has to flow over shoulders, around arms, under taints, and through the legs. It has linings and stiffeners and padding, made specifically to an individual.

        Sure a parachute is sewn fabric and so is a bespoke suit, but one can be mechanized for most of its production. The other can’t.

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t know if it’s made to the individual, but the variance in weight for the payload (person) might mean wanting different parachutes to maintain unit cohesion on landing.

      • Tres Cool

        In the army, we’d joke about big-assed women wearing “G-11 drawers”

        The G-11 was a 90 ft canopy chute used for cargo drops.

      • Spudalicious

        Why would you have men doing women’s work?

      • BakedPenguin

        Dad joined the Army in the early 60’s because he knew he was going to be drafted anyway. He figured joining before the call would give him choice of MOS. Good plan, he wound up in Signal Corps, and never had to go to Vietnam.

        If I had inherited half the smarts that man had, I’d be half as smart as him.

      • l0b0t

        +1 My dad, who spent the Vietnam era as a veterinarian’s assistant in the USAF in Italy.

  12. Tundra

    Hiya, SF!

    Thanks for the lovely sonnet and the beefy lynx!

    I hope the owner bought that puppy a fucking ribeye for being a such a good pupper!

    That’s a great cover! I wasn’t sure at first, but she sold me.

    • SugarFree

      They have like three or four albums at this point. The sometimes weird pronunciation is because the French singers that didn’t know English were given the lyrics phonetically. (Hence, “Black Maria” instead of “Black Mar-rye-a” for what we call in America a “Paddy Wagon.”)

  13. KSuellington

    I assume the Brett story snippet is original SF? If so, bravo. Want to read the novel.

    • SugarFree

      Yeah, just up as an image because WordPress hates hanging indents.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    Go go goalposts

    “This is not a situation where you can go to the American people and say, ‘How many lives are you willing to lose to reopen the economy?’ We don’t want to lose any lives. You start to hear these, to me, what are absurd arguments,” Cuomo said at his daily press briefing.

    An additional 231 people died from Covid-19 across the state on Wednesday, he said. While the daily number of deaths has been steadily declining, it’s been a slow drop, and the number of people dying every day from the coronavirus is still “painfully high,” Cuomo said.

    Right. If we just do as he says, no one will ever die again.

    • The Other Kevin

      I don’t understand what the “too soon” people want to wait for. Do they think that in an extra month, or two months, or six months, someone is going to come up with a magic tonic that kills the virus? Exactly what event will cause them to say “ok, it’s safe now”? There is no possibility of the virus going away if we just hide in our homes long enough. At this point waiting is just delaying the inevitable.

      • Suthenboy

        This isn’t about the virus. It is about destroying the existing order so they an replace it with ‘their vision’. In other words…communism. They are already paying people not to work and those people wont likely to have jobs or careers if they can just keep the lockdown until all of those businesses die.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Yeah, it makes no sense. That was my reasoning back when they started the lockdowns and it was only going to be for a month or two. OK, so even if the lockdowns work, what happens after that month or two? Does the virus magically go away? Does anything really change before then? Why are we going to destroy the economy just to delay the inevitable?

      • The Other Kevin

        The original reason was so that hospitals were not overwhelmed. They have now had plenty of time to get ready. I just talked to a friend of mine who’s a nurse, and she told me her hospital is ready. They have a dedicated covid unit and plenty of supplies. There are plenty of beds, in fact the hospitals are laying off nurses because they’re so empty.

      • Incentives Matter

        From my discussions with friends and others on FB, there really is a strong component of “hope is our strategy” (i.e., a vaccine will be developed, or monoclonal antibodies will come to the rescue, or a pharmaceutical “magic bullet” will be created, etc.). Fear is the mind-killer, and a lot of people I know are deathly afraid of this virus. People just haven’t come to terms with their mortality in my generation or the ones after me.

      • Lady Z

        And now there’s evidence from NYC that the lockdowns aren’t even effective. Suthen ^^^ got it right, it never was about the virus. The virus is just the mechanism.

      • Suthenboy

        I am not trying to downplay the virus. It concerns me because my parents are both 80, but they have definitely played it up and are using it as a pretense for a huge power grab…the one they dropped the ball on when Obama was supposed to ‘manage the decline’.
        They failed to let the air out slowly and Trump has shown them to be completely disingenuous about everything they had been doing and saying about the economy. He pulled the rug out from under them. Now they have lost patience and are taking a hammer to it.

      • Lady Z

        It didn’t come across as downplaying the virus at all. That wasn’t my intention either.

        Concern and mitigation of risk are reasonable responses. Shut-everything-down-you’re-all-gonna-die is not reasonable. If this was really just about the virus we would have seen a completely different response. Case in point, if “they” were really concerned about people getting sick, they wouldn’t have waited two months to clean the damn subways.

      • Nephilium

        I’m getting sick of the “we need to wait for a vaccine” crowd at this point. I mentioned in a work chat the dates for some opening things here in Ohio, and one of my coworkers was amazed and asked if we managed to get it under control.

        I pointed out that our hospitals have lower occupancy now then they usually do.

      • mrfamous

        Next time someone brings up the vaccine, I’m going to ask them what the standard length of time it usually takes to develop a successful corona virus vaccine? When they eventually say “I don’t know,” I’ll inform them that there’s never actually been a successful corona virus vaccine.

      • Incentives Matter

        Coronavirii were first positively IDed as such during the early-to-mid-60s, IIRC. We’ve known about them for three human generations. Give ’em that little factoid and let ’em squirm.

      • Lady Z

        Right up there with…”if this was really a new virus, why does it say coronavirus on the Lysol label?”

        /my boss

      • Hyperion

        “I don’t understand what the “too soon” people want to wait for.”

        Is orangebadman still there? Now you know.

        If you look at the polls, showing Biden 3-4 points up, that’s national vote, not electoral college vote, and Trump at around +8.5 on betting odds, and compare that with where Trump v Hillary was at this same point in 2016, looks like 4 more years of lock down!

      • Tres Cool

        As a perpetual cynic, I think things will mostly open up over the summer, but around mid-october someone will scream ‘SECOND WAVE’ and everything will be shut down again. Mail-in ballots will be mandatory. Once the counting is over, if Trump is still president, they’ll keep it rolling until the entire country is torched.
        By some stroke of luck a (D) gets elected? Over immediately and everyone is back to work.

      • Hyperion

        “around mid-october someone will scream ‘SECOND WAVE’ ”

        Well, that’s a foregone conclusion. But only because they want paper ballot election. Not going to work and they will have to actually declare martial law and send in the tanks to prevent people from going to the polls. The problem is, I believe only the feds can declare martial law and badorangeman would still be president.

        No way paper ballots fly. The GOP are not THAT stupid, yet.

    • Suthenboy

      Isn’t his brother out spreading the commie cooties all over the state? Did he have any comment on that?

      Every one of these pols who have been called out as shameless hypocrites has answered the same way – in a nutshell – “I am more important than you are.”

      Fuck the lot of them.

    • Deplorableme

      As long as they are still blaming every death that might be Covid-19 related, these deaths will never go to 0.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    “I don’t care if a person is old; I’m old,” Cuomo said. “We’ll figure out the dollars, and we’ll figure out the economic impact, but we’ll protect people in the meantime, and we’ll protect their health.”

    We?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      We’re in this together.

      We even get to shelter at Cuomo’s mansion!

      • SDF-7

        STEVE SMITH KNOW BACK ENTRANCE TO CUOMO’S….. MANSION!

    • PBRstreetgang

      And the ONLY way to prevent immuno-compromised elderly folks who live in long term from getting this virus is to shut down 90% of all economic activity in the state and put millions of 20-50s year olds on unemployment. Come on guv’nah put on your thinking cap and get creative, I’m sure there’s more than 1 way to go about this.

      • The Other Kevin

        That’s not even effective, based on the high number of deaths that are in nursing homes.

    • leon

      Sounds like a job for the “You-Gotta-Fucken-Mouse-In-Your-Pocket” Party, whose platform is to respond to any lawmaker who says “We x“.

      • hayeksplosives

        What you mean “we”, white man?

    • kbolino

      We’ll figure out the dollars, and we’ll figure out the economic impact

      Magic!

  16. Gustave Lytton

    raising concerns about the President’s possible exposure to the virus

    The one thing Trump has going for him is he’s a germaphobe. Other than that…

    • Gustave Lytton

      The last line shouldn’t be italicized.

    • Ted S.

      As if the media are really concerned.

    • Tres Cool

      When you consider (speculate) on how many model’s pink-sinks DJT has put his dick in, coronavirus is nothing compared to what he’s already encountered.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Relentless politicization

    Still, the White House is behind the private sector in enforcing mask usage. When the President flew to Arizona on Tuesday — his first foray from the East Coast in months — neither he nor his aides wore masks on Air Force One, even though some commercial airlines have starting requiring passengers to wear them on flights. As he was departing the White House South Lawn, a large group of staffers gathered to see him off, all without masks.
    Not all of the White House’s various departments have operated the same. Many career staffers at the National Security Council have been wearing masks to work in their warren of offices in the Eisenhower Executive Office Building, situated next to the West Wing. Matt Pottinger, the deputy national security adviser, began wearing a mask to work even before new federal guidelines were issued last month.
    Elsewhere in the building, however, mask usage remains low. A number of political appointees, including those working in the Office of Management and Budget, were called back to the office on Monday for the first time in weeks and have not been wearing masks. A source said compliance with mask guidelines among some staff in the building is “low to nonexistent.”
    As top budget officials huddle over next steps for another potential stimulus — a process that could put aides in meetings with agency and congressional leaders — social distancing measures haven’t been strictly enforced in the office, a source said.

    OMG what kind of an example blah blah blah? Not panicking is murder.

    They would have bitched at Elizabeth for not hiding out in Canada during the Blitz, I guess.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Now do the governors mandating masks…I’ll wait. None of them can be bothered to wear masks at their press conferences or elsewhere. Rules, suggestions, advice don’t apply to Top.Men.

      I recall some were speculating that Pooh Bear would never wear a mask because it would make him look weak.

      • DEG

        Ssshhh…. it’s so people can understand them when they speak into the mic.

        At least that was the explanation given as to why Maine Gov. Mills doesn’t wear one when she gives her Lil Rona Panic updates.

  18. grrizzly

    Is Sweden losing its nerve?

    “We are starting to near 3,000 deceased, a horrifyingly large number,” noted the chief epidemiologist at Sweden’s public health agency, Anders Tegnell, at a press conference on Wednesday.

    Tegnell, who has been leading the country’s COVID-19 response and previously defended the nation’s decision not to impose a lockdown, this week admitted he was “not convinced” the unconventional anti-lockdown strategy was the best option to take.

    “I’m not convinced at all – we are constantly thinking about this,” Tegnell told Aftonbladet, the Swedish newspaper based in the capital Stockholm.

    • whiz

      And yet their cases/million and deaths/million are hardly different from the U.S. Don’t cave in now!

    • Fatty Bolger

      H O L D F A S T

    • kbolino

      “We are starting to near 3,000 deceased, a horrifyingly large number,”

      Uh, have you looked at the numbers from the rest of the world?

      Inflated or not, 3000 is a drop in the bucket compared to them.

      • grrizzly

        People attacking the Swedish approach always compare it to its neighbors: Norway, Denmark, Finland. Then Sweden doesn’t look great. I’m sure their chief epidemiologist is under enormous pressure.

    • DEG

      Shit.

      • Shirley Knott

        Don’t give the bitch ideas.

      • mikey

        Sign-language lady in the background is a nice touch.

    • Shirley Knott

      You and me both.

    • Oy the Billy-Bumbler

      I’m ready to support businesses that ignore her and start opening up. She can pound sand at this point.

      • Hyperion

        Time for the tanks. If these dictators want to be for real, they gotta send the tanks. It’s the only way.

      • mock-star

        Hey! I wrote about these earlier in the week! Im proud of my part of the world. (I live right on the line between Blair and Bedford counties). There are more businesses in the area than Gorilla gym and Tame your Mane salon, but they havent caught the attention of authorities/the media yet.

      • mock-star

        There are more businesses in the area *that have reopened* than Gorilla gym…

      • mock-star

        The Gorilla Gym case is kind of interesting. The county DA, Pete Weeks, isnt doing anything, having been quoted in the Altoona Mirror as saying, ““I’m not sure noncompliance with the governor’s order is a crime,” Weeks said. “Criminalizing that behavior without legislation sounds unconstitutional.”

        However, city council and the local police have been issuing citations daily. Should be interesting to see how it plays out.

      • Sean

        Good for Pete Weeks. ?

        Not so much for the local pd.

      • DEG

        I used to live in Centre County in the mid to late 90s. Except for the State College cops, I got the impression that law enforcement and the county DA were a little more relaxed and less ideological than those down in the Philly area where I grew up.

      • Hyperion

        “city council and the local police have been issuing citations daily”

        DA just said it’s not a crime. *throws citation in trash* ‘Want to go to court? I have lots of free time these days.’

      • DEG

        Sunday River Brewing open in defiance of governor’s orders. The state yanked his licenses. A post on the restaurant’s facebook page says they will be open this Wednesday through Sunday 11 AM to 8 PM.

      • Hyperion

        Karens hardest hit?

      • DEG

        Excellent.

    • Drake

      Imagine if they had tried to sell the lockdowns this way in March – instead of “flattening the curve”.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I’m not sure how different it would be, TBH. They have the media carrying their water, the Karens weren’t going to not crawl out of the woodwork. I’m thinking it would just be even more depressing lockdown.

  19. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

    I mentioned in the last thread that the “valet” is a friend of a friend…. Probably not the most accurate description of how I know of him, but I don’t want to say too much about who/what I know, because it would be easy to identify who told it to me. However, I think that “elite” is the wrong word. “prestigious” is more accurate. It’s an honor to be offered that posting, and it doesn’t come open very often. These valets (I don’t know if thats the official title) usually serve through multiple administrations, and they are very close with the president. When the diet coke button is pushed, it’s their pager that goes off, but they’re more like a personal assistant to the president.

    It’s a very interesting job if you can handle the hours, the travel, and the personalities.

    • The Last American Hero

      So are they the assistant president or assistant to the president?

  20. Donation Not Taxation

    Are people who think Cuomo and Fauci are the sexiest men alive Cuomosexuals?

    • Slammer

      *narrows gays*

  21. grrizzly

    We have nothing to fear but fear itself.

    Sure enough, here comes Project Fear 3.0. This column has previously observed that policy makers are letting themselves be guided less by “the science”—which remains preliminary and conflicting—than by a perceived public clamor for a draconian response to the pandemic. The important word is “perceived,” since whatever outcry exists has been filtered through a media eager to hype the fear factor.

    The longer the crisis drags on, the less natural that fear seems. We now know the virus is not nearly as deadly as early data from China suggested. Doctors are developing more-effective treatment protocols, and some drugs have shown early promise. Deepening research into which traits make people more vulnerable to the disease allows for more finely honed shielding measures.

    All of that should trigger a modulation of the fear surrounding the coronavirus—not a denial of the severity of the disease, but an understanding that new insights bring the prospect of new ways to balance risk while reopening stalled economies.

    That modulation isn’t happening among the media or many political officials, and even some members of the public, because Project Fear is too appealing as a means by which to attempt to control public behavior, and as a method for virtue signaling.

    In the simplest sense, scare tactics make it easier for policy makers to secure public compliance with draconian lockdowns even as the rationale for those policies becomes harder to discern. But this type of fearmongering is tickling the mental pleasure centers of its grass-roots participants, too.

    We all know people on social media who enjoy decrying lockdown violators and protesters as “covidiots.” Project Fear works by appealing to believers’ sense that they are smarter than their peers, better able to read the tea leaves to see the impending disaster and also better able to protect society from its more benighted members. And don’t discount the joy in the sense of moral superiority when one’s position allows one to value “lives” when one’s opponents care only about “the economy.”

    • Fatty Bolger

      I turned on the local evening news so I could adjust settings for a new TV, and it was just COVID fear mongering for a solid half hour. Just a random weekday with nothing special happening, so I assume it’s like this every day. People who watch this stuff and believe the media must be terrified right now.

      • Drake

        I’ve tried to tell my Mom to stop watching the news but she hasn’t. They’ve got her cowering in place in SW Florida where hardly anyone has been sick.

      • Spartacus

        As a SW Florida resident…I wouldn’t say “hardly anyone”, but it’s way lower than many other places. In Florida, the death rate among under-65s is still less than 1%.

      • BakedPenguin

        Even in Central Florida, we’ve had a lot of days over 80 degrees. Viruses don’t really like temps like that. Open up the state, already.

    • Spartacus

      These scientists are the same ones who warned us about the terrors of third-hand smoke and the fatal consequences of being allowed to dine out without seeing calorie counts on menus. Why would anyone think they are exaggerating now?

  22. The Late P Brooks

    We all know people on social media who enjoy decrying lockdown violators and protesters as “covidiots.”

    I thought the “covidiots” were the people who allowed themselves to succumb unreasoning, paralyzing terror.

    What do I know?

    • Incentives Matter

      Everyone wants someone else to be the “covidiot.”

    • Suthenboy

      I thought it was inevitable that we are all going to catch it? Why be terrorized over the inevitable?

    • AlmightyJB

      If you want to call me an idiot for putting the numbers into context, fire away, I could care less. It’s the narcs that piss me off the most. Whether you’re a pussy or not, don’t be a Nazi.

      https://imgur.com/uGfz6fF

  23. Mojeaux

    @HM: I told my therapist about “words don’t have meanings; meanings have words.” He loved it and is adopting it for his purposes.

    • AlmightyJB

      Yes, you can can labels on anything, but that doesn’t change it’s underlying nature. People love to play the semantics game.

      • Shirley Knott

        “If you call a tail a leg, how many legs does a dog have?”

    • Heroic Mulatto

      I’m glad he likes it. 🙂

      • Mojeaux

        It’s one of those maxims I will live by, adding to my pile:

        “Why do you base your goals on decisions someone else has to make?” –my mom

        “The IRS EXPECTS you to take every deduction you can possibly find.” –some internet rando

  24. Count Potato

    Does anyone know of a place to buy household and cleaning supplies online? A few of you mentioned several different sites a while back, so I know they exist, but I can’t remember their names.

    • UnCivilServant

      Uline carries a good variety. Not sure if their pricing is compeditive.

      • Mojeaux

        Pricing is. Shipping is not.

      • Incentives Matter

        I’m spoiled re: ULINE — Edmonton’s got a regional ULINE warehouse from which the general public can buy direct.

        Man, after the first winter I hated living in the Lower Mainland. The weather was mild (albeit rainy most of the time), but the distances to get to anything I wanted or needed were absurd.

      • Tres Cool

        So you’ve lived in Texas too, it sounds like.

      • Incentives Matter

        North Texas?

        Um, sure. At least, according to some douchebags in Central Canada, where I live’s exactly like North Texas . . .

      • Mojeaux

        I have a ULine catalog at my elbow. It’s like the Sears Christmas Book was back in the day. All those paper products and boxes and shop supplies, oh my… *fans self*

      • Count Potato

        All those I clicked read “re-orders only”.

    • Tulip

      Amazon is starting to have stuff again. I bought tp this morning, so you might check.

      • Count Potato

        OK, they were out of most everything last time I checked. Even water filters, which surprised me.

  25. Brett L

    Between the custom image and SF’s prose, I suffer from an embarrassment of riches here. That’s my new author profile. I don’t deserve the friends I have.

    • SugarFree

      You deserve me. You know what you did.

      • Mojeaux

        Last summer?

      • SugarFree

        He should have made sure I was dead. Rookie mistake.

      • Brett L

        That parking meter totally wanted it.

      • Tres Cool

        Great minds.

      • Tres Cool

        + Cool Hand Luke

    • Mad Scientist

      I don’t deserve the friends I have.

      It turns out it’s just not difficult to improve a Florida man.

      • Spartacus

        It is difficult, because Florida Man has to want to improve.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    “words don’t have meanings; meanings have words.”

    I took an Intro to philosophy class in college. One of the things I remember was the discussion of "the thing itself' as opposed to the representation of it.

    • Spartacus

      One of the best discussions on this topic is here.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      You can see where the postmodernists corrupt that idea and run it out into nutzoland.

      I hear the word “cat” and have a different mental picture with different implications than what happens in your brain when you hear the word “cat”. Pomos go all “what is life?” and come out the other end claiming that there’s no importance to the fact that the furry thing with a tail actually exists, and focus on the idea that my truth of “cat” could be completely different from your truth of “cat”. The idea of the inspectability of an actual cat that could be used to test our “truths” is rejected.

  27. The Late P Brooks

    That parking meter totally wanted it.

    You got to git yore mind right, boy.

    • BakedPenguin

      “Shakin’ the bushes, boss”

  28. Pope Jimbo

    Speaking of budget shortfalls (I think we are only looking at a $2.5B shortfall here in Minnesoda)…..

    Maybe the first thing you should do is put a hold on projects that cost money and wreck existing businesses?

    St. Paul restaurants ask city to put a hold on a project to add new bike lanes that take away their parking spots. You know the parking spots that those restaurants are using for takeout delivery. City Council says “are you kidding? We’d fall behind Portland in the all important biking hipster metric!”

    They said the parking spots eliminated by the 10th Street Bikeway are critically necessary for delivery drivers and customers at this time, as restaurants find themselves freshly dependent upon vehicle-based delivery and take-away to weather the pandemic.

    At stake were 18 parking spots along 10th Street. In total, the businesses face the loss of 65 spots affected by progress on 9th, 10th, and Roberts streets, as the former pair are converted into one-ways, and a rapid transit bus line from White Bear Lake is installed on the latter.

    If govts acted at all like private businesses, they’d be putting the kibosh on stupid projects like this left and right.

    • Suthenboy

      Are you kidding?
      Find out who has the contract to put those bike lanes in and all will become clear.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I’d be much happier if I could be sure that it was greed driving all of this.

        My fear is that this is one of those true believer projects. Maybe some crafty wrecker or kulak will get rich from over charging the city for painting bike lanes, but that will be accidental.

        What I think you fail to realize Suthen is how insanely fanatical we are about “bikeability” of the Twin Cities. Despite the fact that it is almost 100% impossible to bike for about 3 months of the year and very, very hard for another 3 months. It is really hard to explain to outsiders (or even to ourselves for the most part), but we are cuckoo for bikes.

      • Suthenboy

        I always assume how ever many true believers there are in any endeavor the people driving and enabling it are motivated by money. It’s always the money.

      • Hyperion

        Bike trails have to be one of the most wasteful projects ever. I like the ones near here to walk and run on and there’s always plenty of people doing that. But bikes? I swear if you had a dollar for every time someone has used those for a bike, the heat death of the universe will occur before you would get enough money back to pay for the project.

        You know where the bicyclists ride? Right down the center line of the fucking road. The road that is now way more narrow because of a 10ft wide bike trail. Then they say it’s law that you have to stay 3 ft away from a bike with your car, when there’s not 3 ft of space left. There’s an entire empty 10ft wide bike trail that no one ever uses!

  29. Gender Traitor

    To any of TPTB who may be about: Mr. GT FINALLY got fed up with Facebook and has humbly begged permission to join us. (!!!) He tells me he started at the “Register” page rather than trying to submit a comment. He’s using the handle Tom Teriffic (a deliberate misspelling he’s been using for lo these many years.) Could someone open the gate or let me know if he should submit a comment instead?

    • UnCivilServant

      I donno if they can be pre approved, but just drop a comment anyway.

    • Mojeaux

      I will keep watch and squee about a new Tulpa.

    • Hyperion

      Practicing my best ‘Fuck off Tulpa’.

    • Hyperion

      Tell him it was our local Karen what ratted him out.

    • jesse.in.mb

      I’d just have him submit a comment so that one of the mid-level powers can approve it. Everyone is a little skittish about invoking She Who Keeps the Site Running.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Running Site Squaw hasn’t been the same since she got tossed from the butter boxes.

      • Hyperion

        “Running Site Squaw”

        I didn’t know that’s what SP stands for? *looks downthread*

    • SP

      This is a manual process, which I usually get a chance to do once per 24 hours. I specifically went and looked for his, though, because you are such a loyal Glib. Now you both owe me!

      (The others cannot do this function because it would also give them the power to inadvertently–or otherwise–delete the site. And that is a pleasure I am reserving for myself when that day arrives.)

      • jesse.in.mb

        Lol, inadvertently. You’re too funny.

      • Hyperion

        Loose the Tulpa!

      • Gender Traitor

        Thank you! I’ve been after him to join us for ages, and I’m just so tickled he finally took the plunge!

    • UnCivilServant

      It appears to be in moderation.

      • SP

        Because that’s where EVERYONE’S first comment goes after they are registered.

      • UnCivilServant

        I know, I was trying to alert the middle powers that he’d commented.

      • SP

        They all get notifications.

      • SP

        Oh, I know, was just mentioning. No harm, no foul.

    • Tres Cool

      Just great. Ruin the party.

      /zips up

      • Hyperion

        She always ruins everything.

      • Gender Traitor

        That’s ’cause I’m the worst! ::bats eyes::

  30. Sean

    My two chocolate reaper plants arrived today. Woohoo!

    • Hyperion

      Feed me, Seymour?

    • BakedPenguin

      In other news: Sean hates his anus. A lot.

      • Incentives Matter

        “It hurts sooooooo good!”

      • Sean

        #fakenews

    • Hyperion

      Dude, wait… you actually got live plants delivered? Mind if I ask from where? I can’t even get seeds delivered. I’ve ordered lots, none have arrived yet.

      • Hyperion

        Thanks, man.

        My pepper plants have just now finally started to pop to growing the last few days. They just seemed to be dormant the entire month of April, I guess because it was chilly and rainy the entire month.

      • Hyperion

        Those look pretty nice!

      • Hyperion

        Interesting site and looks like they’re not sold out of everything and using the pandemicpanic as an excuse to delay shipping.

        Think I’ll try ordering some stuff from there, I’m always looking for new stuff to grow.

        Thanks again.

    • SP

      Those are gorgeous.

  31. Pope Jimbo

    Uffda. Why can’t our Dept of Natural Resources just stick to their core mission? Why do they always have to veer out of their lane and do stupid crap?

    This time they had to weigh in on how to deal with the CV during this weekend’s fishing opener.

    Given that about 80% of our deaths are in nursing homes, maybe the DNR commissioner should just shut up. Let one thing be CV free. Especially since you are about 40% ahead of where you normally are in license sales. Just be happy to be one of the bright spots.

    But noooooooo. You have to hector the hicks. Have to tell them about social distancing and tell them to not stay over anywhere. Or go to their cabins (that they are paying property taxes on by the way).

    Even worse is this:

    Minnesota’s outdoor recreation guidelines advise against overnight stays, suggest anglers bring all needed supplies, and restrict driving to a single tank of gas for the journey there and back, the commissioner said. The restrictions aim to protect older people and Native Americans who live near popular fishing spots in rural Minnesota who could be vulnerable to the virus and depend on the same grocery stores and gas stations where anglers would shop. Cabin owners aren’t barred from traveling to their lake places, but she discouraged them from doing so.

    Suck on it women, blacks and lantix Minnesodans! You didn’t make the cut. Only geezers and native americans are to be protected. WTF? Native Americans? Why?

    • Hyperion

      “Native Americans? Why?”

      Did you see what happened last time White man brought bad spirits to the land?

      • Pope Jimbo

        Nope. I didn’t go to any of Liz Warren’s campaign appearances during the primary here.

      • Hyperion

        Dude, after half the people were dead, then whitey shot all the buffalo and gave the brave warriors firesticks and fire water. Whitey truly crazy and bad. Now whitey want everyone to die again, shoot bullshit, let people carry firestick and go to bar to drink fire water. Cannot change white devil, many more will die.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Speaking of the fishing opener, this one ought to be a doozy.

      Over the past 10 years or so, the DNR has worked very hard to put docks in at most public accesses on the lakes here. The docks make it easy for bigger boats to get in and out of the lake. The docks normally get put in by crews from Minnesoda’s Sentencing to Service program (aka chain gangs for convicts who can work off jail time). This year, though, those crews have been stuck in prison because of the CV. So all those docks are sitting on the shore. (I was up in NW Minnesoda fishing last weekend and didn’t see any of them put in yet).

      So when fishermen start showing up at the accesses early Saturday morning (probably in the dark), they aren’t going to have anywhere deep enough to tie their boat to and load up easily. Instead they will probably have to make someone get in the water and push off. Should make a great start tot the day for someone.

      Given that the accesses are normally zoos on Opener, this wrinkle should make it extra, extra good.

      • Fourscore

        Any glibs that run out of coffee or sammiches are welcome to visit here. Heck, we could probably find a empty bed if the inn(s) are full.

    • Tres Cool

      They didnt mention the Somali’s on the Iron Range tho.

  32. Pope Jimbo

    I found this story about the Land O’ Lakes gal interesting and amusing.

    Turns out the guy who drew that gal was an Ojibwe from the Red Lake res. The amusement comes because his kid is a progressive who has towed the lion his whole life and now is watching them trash his dad’s work. He can’t understand why they would remove her from the box.

    I’d love to be there when someone from Land O’ Lakes told him. “look we are tired of hearing shit from you and your fellow travelers. We are just giving in to the mob. You feel bad, you go talk to them about it”

    • Suthenboy

      “Mia went “hand-in-hand with human and sex trafficking of our women and girls … by depicting Native women as sex objects.”

      You know who else treated Native women like sex objects?

      • Pope Jimbo

        No one who grew up next to a rez.

      • DEG

        Me while watching Dillon Harper porn?

      • Ted S.

        OMWC?

        Heroic Mulatto?

        Q Continuum?

      • Plinker762

        Hitler?

      • Tres Cool

        ndngirls.com ?

      • salted earth

        The guys in the movie Wind River?

  33. Tom Teriffic

    Is this where I put “Fuck off, Tulpa”? My hand is in the other sock.

    • Hyperion

      No, Tulpa, we’re supposed to say Fuck off Tulpa!

      • Fourscore

        Only one way in and only one way out, TT. You’re stuck here for the duration. There was an opening date but no closing date (or time).
        Good to have another on board, will add some class to the place.

        /rolls eyes

      • Mojeaux

        He’s married to The Worst(TM).

    • Incentives Matter

      You’re just supposed to say “Thanks. I feel so welcome here!”

      • Hyperion

        “Thanks. I feel so welcome here!”

        Exactly what Tulpa would say.

    • Ownbestenemy

      *Ahem* FUCK.OFF.TULPA!

    • Ted S.

      Would that be a tube sock?

    • Mojeaux

      Yay! A new Tulpa! *squeeeeeee*

      Now fuck right off.

    • Gender Traitor

      Fuck off, Tweety Tulpa! ***SMOOCH!!! <3<3<3***

    • Tres Cool

      Oh, what the fuck ever.

      Fuck directly off, Tulpa.

      • Tres Cool

        PS- Donatos is open

      • Gender Traitor

        Yup! Had some Monday night (semi-official Pizza Night at Chez GT/TT.)

    • Sean

      ? Tulpa

    • Slammer

      Fuck off and welcome

      • Hyperion

        “and welcome”

        Too nice, deducts -2 orphans.

    • gbob

      Tulsa, I hope you fuck off so hard that you get AIDS.

    • DEG

      Welcome

  34. Ownbestenemy

    So NV….no bars open (bar seating) but if they serve food can open if they have table seating @ 50%. Is that even worth it? Our sucessful bars out here work on gaming and then alcohol sales.

    Salons and such opening up. Im so glad he is allowing us. Thank you daddy!

    • Mad Scientist

      table seating @ 50%

      So, they’re allowed to open so long as there’s no way they can meet their expenses.

      • Ownbestenemy

        But they have curbside! Yeah I am not sure how this will go.

      • Suthenboy

        This.

        Restaurants operate on a razor thin margin in the best of times. These half-ass opening are as good as keeping them closed.

  35. Count Potato

    I saw lots of people wearing mask today, that didn’t cover their nose.

    • Hyperion

      I’ve been seeing that since the beginning.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Thats like putting a condom just around your nutsack.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        Wait. That’s not how you do it? I guess that explains my two kids.

    • Incentives Matter

      Yeah, seen a few of those. Most people ’round these parts still aren’t wearing ’em, Thank God. A surprising (to me) number of the ones who are wearing ’em aren’t doing it properly.

      • Count Potato

        I think it’s good that people wear them in supermarkets and pharmacies. People at high risk still need food and medicine.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        I don’t mind wearing it in stores. I think the net benefit can be pretty large even if it won’t help me much if a guy sneezes right in my face. I don’t understand wearing it outdoors though. I saw some people wearing them while riding their bikes yesterday, which makes me shake my head.

    • Tom Teriffic

      Pretty common around here, especially in big box stores (the little guys are being left for dead). I think some of the younger folks see it as a badge of woke-ness. I regard it as a badge of submission.

      • Count Potato

        I don’t think of politically. Although obviously some people do.

      • The Hyperbole

        Everything’s political Count. It’s actually very simple – everyone should assess the situation as best the can and act in accordance to their own conclusions and conscience, however if their conscience and conclusions don’t jibe with mine they are either granny killers or gullible cowards.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Why not both?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        You sound like a granny killer.

      • Naptown Bill

        What are you, some kinda gullible coward?

        /see you in Hell, granny!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Maybe I am! So what?

        /cowers in closet

      • Suthenboy

        And it looks like the new Tulpa (fuck off) is going to fit in very well around here. Second comment comes off like a long-timer.

        To reinforce what GT has told you: I have been talking with this crowd around 12 – 15 years? and I have learned a lot. They have helped me clarify my thoughts about quite a few things and helped shape my opinions. I have had more than a few ‘Aha! Oh, shit. Why didn’t I see that before? ‘ moments.
        I have always preferred spending my time with people smarter than I am and believe me, there are some very smart people around here.

      • UnCivilServant

        Some of us are also more than a little silly.

      • Hyperion

        Fuck off!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I wear a mask in the stores. Of all the inconveniences and intrusions they’ve put on everyone, that’s pretty much the least of the bunch. I do think it’s a little funny that mine have Chinese lettering all over them.

        I also carry everywhere now.

        I don’t require masks in my store.

      • UnCivilServant

        I drove to New Hampshire to not have to wear a mask in a store.

        I’m also contemplating changing my normal grocery store because the previous one’s employees too eagerly played petty tyrant when new, pointless theater was instituted.

        If you’re going to be snide about standing six inches off your floor decal…

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I don’t see the mask as being a useless signal. Research is pretty mixed. However it’s up to the property owner and the guest, not the law.

        What I do see as wholly destructive are the arbitrary distinctions between essential and non-essential, the closing of businesses, the overly generous unemployment, and the media worship of our masters.

      • UnCivilServant

        Being told to wear a mask by governer dipshit is a humiliation I will not accept. It makes me viscerally angry.

      • Gustave Lytton

        That’s the other thing these people don’t get. Forcing people to do something that they don’t want to do is at best grudging compliance. And looking for opportunities to say fuck you at every turn.

      • Rhywun

        You can’t enter most any store around here (NYC) without one. And I’d say about 90% of us are wearing them properly.

        FWIW.

      • Breet Pharara

        “In my study of communist societies, I came to the conclusion that the purpose of communist propaganda was not to persuade or convince, not to inform, but to humiliate; and therefore, the less it corresponded to reality the better. When people are forced to remain silent when they are being told the most obvious lies, or even worse when they are forced to repeat the lies themselves, they lose once and for all their sense of probity. To assent to obvious lies is…in some small way to become evil oneself. One’s standing to resist anything is thus eroded, and even destroyed. A society of emasculated liars is easy to control. I think if you examine political correctness, it has the same effect and is intended to.”

        Theodore Dalrymple

        Wearing the mask is a lie. It is a lie that somehow, COVID-19 is something more than a virus with what looks more and more like a very run-of-th-mill death rate. It is a lie that we need to surrender our rights for our own protection. I have more respect for the people who refuse to go along with the lie than the people who do.

      • Suthenboy

        Thank you. I was trying to find that one the other day and could not.

      • Mojeaux

        Ha! I JUST NOW saw this on Stalkerbook:

        “Wearing a mask is to keep others from being sick. It is not about your rights.”

        That’s this country in a nutshell. Do as you’re told versus don’t tell me what to do.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Again, it’s the lack of distinction between legal and moral.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Anything not prohibited, is mandatory, as well.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Wait til the media makes hand washing into a divisive issue.

        *pops popcorn*

  36. UnCivilServant

    Where is the UPS guy? I want to go to sleep, but I also don’t want to leave a box sitting on my porch overnight.

    • UnCivilServant

      *I’ve been up since 2am, to put the remark in context.

    • Count Potato

      Seems UPS has been running late lately.

      • UnCivilServant

        Normally they arrive between 3 and 5pm.

        They say “before 9pm”

        It is still “Out for Delivery” and not “Delivered” or “unable to Deliver” So I have to wait.

      • Gender Traitor

        Did you ever get that coffeemaker, or is that what Brown Santa is bringing you tonight?

      • UnCivilServant

        Oh, no the coffee maker arrived.

        This is random other stuff.

      • Gender Traitor

        Most important question about anything ever: Does the coffeemaker have a timer??

      • Gender Traitor

        Aw. I’m sorry! : (

      • UnCivilServant

        The worst part is I’m trying to figure out if coffee gives me heart burn, or if it’s just stress. (Or worse)

    • Suthenboy

      Oh, dont worry. It wont stay out there overnight.

    • UnCivilServant

      The bastards didn’t even try to deliver the box.

      The tracking has it back at the depot, no mention of a stop at my house. It’s back to “In transit.”

      • Tom Teriffic

        I once had a very large, very fragile and very expensive guitar ping-pong between the UPS depot at the Denver airport and a UPS store in the burbs. In the middle of winter. For a week. It took a couple of enraged phone calls to get it straightened out and it did arrive OK. Monkey at the airport was scanning the wrong bar code/QR code/some damn thing.

    • Hyperion

      *narrows gaze* that guy is not being sarcastic, is he?

    • Ownbestenemy

      That was fun

    • Ownbestenemy

      Hehe….runsescape

    • Suthenboy

      Why do I often get links to twitter that redirect to Glibertarians.com?

  37. Gustave Lytton

    Joined this millennium and got a goody box of Multicam stuff from Tactical Tailor. Wife looked at the contents while it was sitting there and said “This looks like either a survivalist or murder kit. Which one is it?”.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Just nod and mumble under your breath…that will surely clear it up for her.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Let me guess, you got the ammo belt that can hold 25 rounds of 40mm.

    • Sean

      Why not both?

    • SweatingGin

      “Oh, I’m not going to lie to”

      *smokebomb*

  38. commodious spittoon

    Christopher Nolan is fighting for a July theater release for his new summer blockbuster. Could Tenet kill more people than The Dark Knight Rises?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I think Nolan has been on record as saying that the theaters need to be saved, for art’s sake or something like that.

      At least he’s putting his money where his mouth is.

    • one true athena

      I kinda hope that antibody testing will get more common and we’ll see more people going ‘hey, i’m immune, why shouldn’t I go to the movies?” By July, there’s going to be plenty of people who either have definitely already had it through other active infection testing and/or antibodies.

      And yeah, good for him. He makes movies, not tiny things you can watch on your phone and not lose anything.

      • Suthenboy

        “…antibody testing will get more common and we’ll see more people going ‘hey, i’m immune, why shouldn’t I go to the movies?”

        I am sure the CDC will take care of that.

    • Suthenboy

      Who? And who?

      English roast potatoes? *clicks on link, looks at potatoes*

      Yeeeah….that is about what I thought.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        You’re not supposed to be looking at the potatoes.

      • Suthenboy

        After what was done to them I can’t help it. It’s like an axe murder or a train wreck. I cant look away from that horror.

      • The Hyperbole

        Generally I ignore your “there’s only one right way to do anything” schtick but I’ll bite, what’s the problem with par-boiled roasted potatoes with parsley and salt?

    • commodious spittoon

      /doubt

  39. commodious spittoon

    Slouching over my keyboard for eight hours did not fix my neck cramp. So much for that theory.

  40. one true athena

    One unexpected drawback of these long online delivery times now is I ordered some organizing containers that I just got the shipping announcement for and now I can’t remember what I’d intended to use them for. What was the plan, Me From A Month Ago??

    I took my mom to the doctor today,

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Perhaps they were for storing your mother.

    • one true athena

      hm, I had the rest of a comment where did it go? WordPress choked on the ampersand I guess.

      anyway, they drew blood for antibody testing. I hope when she was sick in January that was the WuFlu and she’s done with the worry of being infected.

      • DEG

        Best wishes

  41. Mojeaux

    Dalai Lama: “Once a year go some place you’ve never been before.”

    I’ve never been here.

  42. Hyperion

    SCIENCE!

    “Sophie Lewis, a so-called feminist theorist who says she’s interested in “queer communism”

    LOL, damn these people are fucking cuckoo for coco puffs.

    • Suthenboy

      After she gets it she will wonder why that stone wall is behind her.

      Is there any communist regime in history that did not round up homosexuals and slaughter them?

      Hint: NO

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        She’ll be shot because her usefulness will have run out and she will only be an impediment to the designs of the authoritarians.

      • Hyperion

        Even funnier, their favorite target seems to be self proclaimed ‘intellectuals’, or what we know as academia.

        Why do so many people go smugly to their own doom?

        Anyway, like all things that cannot continue, neither will this. Darwin did have a point. Cretins like Sophie Lewis do not procreate. They may adopt a boy and force him to undergo a sex change. So yeah, they don’t procreate. Extinction is our savior. It just can’t come fast enough.

    • Tom Teriffic

      A mask is a mask is still a symbol of surrender. Of subservience. Some folks dig that, mmmmkay??