Tuesday Morning Links

by | May 5, 2020 | Daily Links | 426 comments

Photosummary of the USWNT legal argument

Yet she persisted…in making emotional rather than legal arguments.  Aaaaand that’s sports for today.

She was great in “Mars Attacks!”

Big birthdays today are Holy Roman Emperor Leopold II, shiftless layabout Karl Marx, philosophizer Soren Kierkegaard, writer Nellie Bly, the only Indian in the baseball HOF Charles “Chief” Bender, actor Tyrone Power, laser pioneer Arthur Schawlow, country legend Tammy Wynette, comedic genius Michael Palin, musical genius Ian McCulloch, singer Adele, and domestic abuser Chris Brown.

Right, now on to…the links!

It’s good to see kids set goals and drive hard to reach them. Well, usually. Also, nice mask, Mr Policeman.

Idiots break rules One size fits all solutions make no sense. Good for them.

Unintended consequences are a real problem. Well, not really. They could always, you know, cut spending.

Words to live by

I hope “snitches get stitches” makes a biiiiig comeback. Because these people are assholes, pure and simple.

Equity-focused? Why not just grade them on their actual progress or test scores? Or would that bruise some egos? Ooh, here’s a solution: just disband CPS altogether and give parents vouchers to send their kids to competitive private schools where they’ll actually have a better chance at being educated rather than babysat.

Thoughts?

Posted without an opinion. I’ll weigh in in the comments, but I want your thoughts on the matter first. I’ll also pose a question: why weren’t these protesters ridiculed for “endangering everybody”?

Yeah, no shit Sherlock. Anybody who didn’t see this coming is buffoon.

GRRRRRRL POWER. Actually, yeah. She’s a badass.

Now go have a great day, friends!

About The Author

sloopyinca

sloopyinca

426 Comments

  1. Swiss Servator

    I was gonna comment first, instead I got….something.

    *wanders off*

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Chlamydia?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Ugh, codeine based narcotics do not agree with me. They tend to build up over a day or two and then I’m prone to suddenly passing out cold.

      • Swiss Servator

        I am not a fan either. But until I can get the ol’ cervical fusion…they will have to do.

      • Tundra

        Ugh. Sorry, Swissy.

        How many vertebrae are messed up?

      • Don Escaped Australians

        ugh

      • Professional Beach Bum

        Got a 2-level c5-c7 fusion in September. World of difference, I’m 53 so recovery was longer than I wanted.

      • Tonio

        Ugh, sorry to hear about the back, Swiss.

      • Swiss Servator

        Don’t worry, the State government says its no big deal! Me being barely functional is just a small, completely unforeseeable consequence of SAVING ALL LIVES!

      • AlexinCT

        If you want them to care at this point, you need to die in a way that they can claim you are a victim of COVID-19. Otherwise you remain just another PITA to them Swiss. Feel better man.

      • bacon-magic

        Tell them you need a ‘rona test. Might get you in the door. Hope your back gets better. We want you 100% when the puns start dropping.

      • AlexinCT

        In “The People’s Republic of CT” the political class is encouraging people to go get tested privately. The cheapest private tests I saw was over $200. Why fucking bother?

    • sloopyinca

      It could still be first…

      • Swiss Servator

        *joins sloopy in MUHUHUHUHWAHA laugh*

        /TPTB

      • sloopyinca

        “Abracadabra!”

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Some animals are more equal than others…..

      • Swiss Servator

        MUHUHUHU….

        *falls asleep*

      • sloopyinca

        ??‍♂️

      • Ted S.

        You want to reach out and grab me?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Do you have black panties and an angel’s face?

    • Ted S.

      A narrowed gaze?

      • juris imprudent

        Dilaudid pupils?

      • Trigger Hippie

        Dilaudid peoples.

  2. Scruffy Nerfherder

    The photo of that five year old driver is Lovecraftian.

    • Nephilium

      Well, it’s not the Innsmouth Look, but it is probably the creepiest way to blot out a face.

    • sloopyinca

      How does he even eat? I mean, you can tell he eats…a lot! That’s a portly 5 year old.

      • Tonio

        ^This. That kid has obviously not been told “no” enough in life, otherwise he wouldn’t have done this.

    • Trigger Hippie

      I thought for a moment the cop just unloaded a shotgun in the kid’s face as soon as he rolled down the window.

  3. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Florida sales tax collections from March are as much as $770 million below estimates for the month, according to preliminary revenue reports obtained by the Orlando Sentinel.

    The states are going to be in a world of fiscal pain.

    Or should I rephrase, state taxpayers are going to be in a world of fiscal pain.

    • robc

      If every state/locality did priority based budgeting, they wouldn’t have an issue.

    • R C Dean

      I’m going with, there is going to be one hell of a bailout of stupid fucking state governments by the residents of other states.

      • juris imprudent

        We’re just going to mint up a truckload of $1T platinum coins (each worth a few ounces of silver). MMT to the rescue!

      • leon

        One of the most nonsensical things off MMT is their explanation of the origin of money and that is why government printing money creates value.

      • AlexinCT

        Everyone knows it grows on trees….

        Government trees!

      • robc

        Even Krugman mocks MMT.

      • Drake

        I hope Cocaine Mitch holds the line. Please don’t bail out my state. Make them pay for their lies, corruption, and stupidity. Make them choose between finally getting spending under control or facing an irate electorate.

      • robc

        Ky elected a dem governor last November. He will hold the line for that reason alone.

      • R C Dean

        The Senate Republican are a pretty weak fucking reed when they have the President’s backing. Without it, they will fold like the Cowboys in December.

      • Fourscore

        “Unintended consequences are a real problem.”

        This is why states need to declare themselves independent. Then they can print their own currency and have a lot of money to spend, much like the Fed. Floridians would only owe it to themselves. As a sovereign nation, on the level of the Native American, they could open up all the casinos they want and make the New York folks pay for the social services.

      • AlexinCT

        Make them pay for their lies, corruption, and stupidity. Make them choose between finally getting spending under control or facing an irate electorate.

        Stand up comedy gold.

        You know that the electorate keeps putting these shitheads in power. They will also be the ones eventually prostituted to pay for the “free shit” they got promised if they voted for the right team.

      • Drake

        Christine Whitman and Chris Christie – both 2-term Republican NJ Governors elected as a reaction to Democrats who couldn’t help themselves.

    • Festus

      I hate “Verbing” even more than “Vocal Frrrryyyyy”.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        You do know its (IMO) perfectly cromulent origin, no?

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        It ate my comment…

        “Verbing” has a noble and facetious origin.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        ?

      • Atanarjuat

        Verbing weirds language.

    • Fatty Bolger

      They fucking love science, just ask their professional scienticians who are out there sciencing hard for you every day.

  4. Rufus the Monocled

    Saw bunch of 30 year-olds playing street hockey yesterday.

    Snitches like Kevin Rusch deserve all they get in karmic retribution.

    • Swiss Servator

      You should have taken a video and offered it up as programming to an increasingly frantic ESPN.

      • sloopyinca

        So ESPN can have ABC send investigative journalists to look into their backgrounds and find just the tiniest thing to shame them and tie them to Orangemanbad for being outside and not caring enough about our brave frontline workers (who were busy making a TikTok video in their empty hospital ward)?
        No thanks.

      • Swiss Servator

        (Street) Hockey Night in Canada

      • Tundra

        I’d watch at this point.

      • sloopyinca

        Those stories always, always bring a smile to my face.

      • invisible finger

        This is the #1 reason I was ecstatic when Harold Baines got put into the Hall Of Fame. He politely told them when he first got into the big leagues that he does not give interviews and he held the line for his entire career.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Hard core case of projection. Anytime a reporter does this, chances are projection is at play.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        One of the guys, I can tell, was a nasty player.

  5. I. B. McGinty

    Not a fan of the Thin Blue Line anything. Maybe for firefighters. They are paid to run into burning buildings and pull people out. I would say the police are paid to run into buildings with active shooters, but we know that’s not the case. Well, they’re paid, they just don’t do it.

    • Festus

      Even most firefighters just stand around and watch it burn unless they know for certain someone is in there. They usually try to stop the spread rather than actively putting a structure fire out.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        But Station 19, with all that burning diversity, make sure to show viewers they’re not only superheroes but unwavering principled peoplekind.

        I can’t understand how my wife watches that junk.

      • I. B. McGinty

        To be fair, I have only had one interaction with fire fighters and it was positive, but a long time ago. I have had many interactions with the police and none of them left me feeling “I’m glad those guys are here.” Maybe things have changed.

      • Agent Cooper

        I think firefighters and cops have completely different mentalities.

      • bacon-magic

        Your comment describes a volunteer fire department of a town less than 5000 people, professional fire departments are usually in towns and cities bigger than 5000. My father was a firefighter for 30+ years and had many occasions to go in. In a house fire there is typically no “certain” way to know if someone is in there when they arrive at the scene…and part of the attraction(I think they’re crazy but they probably liken it to heroics) is being able to save lives.

      • Overt

        Yeah I have some distant In-Law family who I would love to hate, but have gotten to know over the past decade. Many of them are firemen. Their perspective is that you HAVE to be aggressive and attack the fire head on, as a raging inferno likely cannot be contained. If that fire reaches gas lines or some other combustible, many more people and much more property will be destroyed. And these guys in particular considered life saving to be important, but also felt they were paid to protect property. I have not really ever seen a fireman treat their job as “pay first, serving later”. But that is just me.

    • Tonio

      Their iconography is the thin red line. And while I agree that as a group they generally solve more problems than they create, but I’m very wary of elevating any class of government employee above the rest of us.

      • bacon-magic

        ^
        Still a government employee. And they do have that “I’m a civil service worker” entitlement most times. They love getting discounts at restaurants and stores too.

      • UnCivilServant

        I was about to claim I don’t get a discount, but there is one company where I get a discount for being a state employee.

      • bacon-magic

        In the commie State of Illinois there are civil service discounts everywhere.

      • UnCivilServant

        Thinking about it, the discount might violate NY Civil Service Ethics law. We’re not even allowed to let vendors buy lunch.

        The only reason my vendor pens are okay is because I picked them up at public conventions where any member of the general public could likewise pick them up as advertising.

      • catchthecarp

        I knew a guy who got the shit beat out of him by a group of off-duty fireman at a bar. They did a number on his face. The police were called but of course they all knew one another and nothing else happened.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Neither comes close to cracking the top 10 most dangerous jobs. Being a garbage man is more dangerous.

  6. Tonio

    re: The “thin blue line” face masks. This was entirely foreseeable and the SFPD should have issued “regulation” masks of a uniform color (maybe blue). It’s called a uniform for a reason and allowing individual employees to customize their uniforms is a bad idea.

    Having said that, I don’t like the idea of cops wearing masks as that can lead to all types of abuse.

    • sloopyinca

      The police union president, Tony Montoya, said the union showed the masks to Scott’s command staff and several of them had asked for more. The blue line “represents law enforcement’s separation of order and chaos,” he said.

      And if you don’t respect that “separation”, they’ll split your head open with a baton.
      Lol, “law enforcement’s separation of order and chaos”. There’s very few situations that the cops don’t make more chaotic for normals when they decide to enforce order.

      • Ted S.

        Ask motorcyclists in Waco what they think about that separation.

      • sloopyinca

        I’d need to ask their next of kin.

      • Trigger Hippie

        The Thin Blue Line is a gang sign.

  7. Rufus the Monocled

    Re the masks. Know what I think? Low IQ governors need to quit while they’re ahead. This is slowly spiralling out of control.

    Been reading about this Janet Mills in Maine. She’s acting as if Maine was hit like NY and that somehow some second wave is going to hurl giant man-eating lobsters laced with corona at the state. There’s even a story of Sunday River Brewery losing their state license for saying they were going to defy order and open up.

    She’s just about the worst (and most evil. I’m sorry. I think they really do get high on flattening people) governor in terms of heavy handed authoritarian measures relative to the actual situation.

    1025 cases and 57 deaths.

    Wonder what Mainiacs think of this.

    • Ted S.

      They’re dancing like they’ve never danced before.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        I just want to put it out there that I see what Ted just did there.

      • bacon-magic

        His comment appears to be a big splash.

      • Festus

        Polly Moran was a cutie-pie.

      • Gdragon

        I love when this site gives me a “LOL” for real, very nicely played Ted 😉

    • Drake

      Maine is a big state run by one liberal city. Several Sheriffs have already refused to obey the craziness.

      The libs in Portland will do as they are commanded (they elected this kook). The rest of the state will gradually ignore it.

  8. Tonio

    So I just googled “Snitches Get Stitches” t-shirts and there are lots on the market. Going to order one today.

    • AlexinCT

      I am sure there will be no consequences from wearing clothing that defies the rule of the master class Tonio….

    • Grummun

      Howsabout “Foreseeable Consequences Are Not Unintended” t-shirts? That should be Glib swag.

      ::checks Glib shop to make sure it’s not already::

      • Tonio

        And while that’s absolutely true it’s not a good t-shirt slogan — too many syllables, double negative. I’ve been doing a lot of analysis of protest signs, etc, recently and most people are way to wordy and obtuse. Sadly, you’re playing for the news cameras so you want something that can be read and easily processed by the folks viewing a still photo or brief video clip at home.

      • EvilSheldon

        ‘Stop Snitching’ makes a better t-shirt. So does ‘Shut up, Karen’.

      • Gustave Lytton

        A fan of Frankie Goes to Rapeywood.

      • Fatty Bolger

        “What’s that mean?”

        “It’s an inside joke.”

        “So who is Steve Smith and why does he want me to relax?”

        “Um…”

  9. Rufus the Monocled

    Know what’s going to bother me about all the inevitable ‘unintended consequences’ resulting from the lockdown?

    That those of us who warned about from day one will be told by the Karens (of any gender or low IQ group) will be dismissed outright with a ‘we couldn’t foresee it!’ and ‘we had no choice’ and ‘it was the right thing to do’. Or we may get those who will deny having supported restrictions especially when it’s going to show how stupid and foolish we really were.

    We can’t win either way. But I made sure to log my personal observations and let my wife know at every turn. I was in Italy in March having returned on the 9th. The second they announced the shut down I started giving her my personal play by play as my witness. So far I’ve been right every single time. It’s not hard. Once you know the variables driving the policy you can derive solid assumptions and observations from that.

    Now, to some degree I get why they completely shut down but that was borne from pure ignorance and incompetence – and fear. But the SECOND it was determined that despite the high infectious rate and the probability it’s been around longer than we thought and the fact its fatality rates are much lower than forecasted they HAD to open. Not double down. The doubling down is especially mean-spirited and wrong-headed.

    The only people supporting this idiocy are people who get naturally scared, those still getting paid and just general all around assholes who blindly think they’re ‘following the science’. No you’re not: You’re following an interpretation of the science from medical bureaucrats who the media plug into your brain.

    We’re not in this together. Not even close. Not enough people are feeling the pain. People like Kevin Rusch probably.

    • PieInTheSky

      well you never know, you know, you never know.

    • Q Continuum

      The politicians keep doubling down for two reasons:

      1) They can’t countenance the fact that they’d have to admit they were wrong to freak out so much in the first place
      2) They’ve gotten a taste of pure, unadulterated power and boy do they ever like it

      • sloopyinca

        1. They’ll claim their actions saved lives and if you point out the economic destruction, you’ll be painted as a heartless person who wants old people to die.
        2. See: all of human history

      • Rufus the Monocled

        I notice they give themselves a loooooong and loooooose leash and definition on what constitutes ‘saving lives’. For example, issuing a stop sign citation goes under saved lives’ because you can run a stop and hit granny carrying her groceries or a family of cute ducks.

        Once you condition people to believe the precautionary principle can be elevated into practice you can say anything you want about. They can say, well, ‘you have to wear a mask because you never know and you’re being irresponsible. You want to save lives right?’

        It’s unfalsifiable gibberish and circular logic.

      • leon

        Once they’ve gotten the taste of blood power they have to be put down.*

        * Via elections, recalls, impeachment and other non violent means, Preet.

        ::edit faerie flutters by::

      • leon

        Thank You Edit Faerie, What shall be my penance?

      • Fatty Bolger

        Yep. Can’t discount the fun factor. They’ve been having a ball, and don’t want it to end.

    • cyto

      That’s the part that is particularly galling. The sanctimonious lecturing from people who make a seven-figure income should be inducing a rage response in large segments of the population.

      With Chris Cuomo on every night spinning fantastic Tales of a harrowing battle with Covid from his mansion…… And then sneaking out to hang out at his new home construction site and taking time out to threaten passing cyclists…

      Yeah, Joe the plumber who is about to go broke.because of the shutdown isn’t gonna feel all warm and fuzzy about that….

    • The Other Kevin

      One of the few things we knew early on was who was vulnerable to the virus. And still, 30% of the deaths in Indiana, and even more in other states (50% in NY?) occurred in nursing homes. Maybe if we spent less effort on keeping healthy people out of skate parks, and more effort protecting the people that really needed protection, we’d have a lot fewer deaths. It amazes me how they fucked that up.

      • Fourscore

        Old people die, old people (as a group) are more frail. A nursing home is not a gym, the guests are not training for a triathlon. When Granny shows up she is going to become a statistic.

        In the words of Roseanna Roseannadanna, “If it isn’t one thing, its another”

      • Fatty Bolger

        New York actually sent infected people back into the homes. Florida didn’t. And yet in the media, NY politicians are lauded, while Florida’s are condemned.

    • Tonio

      It’s the classic rat-hole problem.

      Every student of the arts of diplomacy in the civil-service and staff colleges of the U.K. hears much about the rat-hole problem. How does one let the other side off some hook on which they have imprudently impaled themselves, while minimizing their loss of face?

      • mindyourbusiness

        This morning on the CBS News, Gail King spoke of a new prediction of 130,000 deaths in the U. S. by, if I remember correctly, August this year. She also had the good grace to note this was a ‘preliminary model’ of the report.

        So what we have here is a second-hand report of a preliminary model with no mention of the bases for that prediction.

        Or, put another way, scary bullshit.

  10. leon

    “after a California judge on Friday threw out the players’ claims that they were underpaid in comparison with the men’s team.”

    From my understanding they were asking the court to use the equal pay act to invalidate a CBA they had because the one that they had agreed to ended up paying out less than the other one.

    • juris imprudent

      I believe the women actually earned slightly more than the men because the men’s performance was so awful. Had the men’s team done as well as the women’s, they would have made a lot more money. Of course that is all speculative against the central fact of the case – which was undisputed, that the women did not get paid less. And honestly, I am at pains as to how a CBA you negotiated and agreed to can suddenly be unfair.

      • Ted S.

        The 2018 (men’s) FIFA WC had a prize fund of $400M for 32 teams. The 2019 (women’s) FIFA WC had a prize fund of $30M for 24 teams.

        The broadcasters are willing to pay for the rights to the men’s tournament, not so much for the women’s.

      • juris imprudent

        Yeah, that was the point the women tried to finesse – that it isn’t fair that FIFA rewards the men’s game more richly.

        Too fucking bad. Without USSoccer support, your entire league wouldn’t exist – because people aren’t that interested.

      • cyto

        From what I understand the big difference in their compensation is down to the women sticking together as a group and demanding full benefits like Health Care. Because their professional League does not pay as much and does not include the same benefits that the men get from their professional leagues, they have different needs as a group.

        The men view the national team as a side light to their main career. They already have benefits from their league. So they just want a cash payout.

        That is what makes this whole lawsuit thing even more ridiculous. They specifically negotiated a different compensation package. It wasn’t an accident, and they didn’t get buffaloed into it. It was exactly what they wanted. Now they are in cake and eat it too territory.

        I think they just became enamored of being social justice Warriors. They are Elite competitors. The US Women’s National Team is one of the most elite competitive groups in the history of sport. Of course they all will fight any battle, anywhere, anytime. I think a bunch of them are in that boat with this issue.

        Sports is the most egalitarian of activities. So is entertainment. On the field of competition there are a set of rules, and whoever is the best wins. And in the stands, people spend their money on the things they want to see. There is no evil Overlord commanding people to watch one thing over another. People in the United States support women’s soccer More Than People anywhere else in the world. But people in the United States don’t really like soccer all that much. We like football. American football.

        So having a sports Entertainer complain about how their compensation as a group is not fair seems kind of silly to most of us. You put butts in the seats, your league makes more money. Your league makes more money, the players can have leverage to get a bigger slice of the pie. It is really that simple.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Yep. The men didn’t even qualify in 2018, so they all shared a nice $0 in prize money.

  11. Drake

    Kate Brown puts in her bid for country’s craziest Governor. She looks like a spinster school marm and governs like one too.

    • PieInTheSky

      Sexist!

    • Q Continuum

      She’s what a Karen becomes post-menopause.

      • Festus

        Hence the strategic scarf hiding the gobbler neck.

      • Fourscore

        Nursing home material

      • Festus

        Hey, Quasi-dad!

    • leon

      Enterprising economists would be rushing around trying to collect data over the next few months to see the disparities.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      I’m noticing the women in power are enjoying their lockdowns a bit too much.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Holy shit. Like Mills in Maine she’s doing it in a state that’s not being hit hard. 2000 cases and 100 deaths.

        WTF?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Brown has zero concept of how an economy functions.

        She earned a Bachelor of Arts in Environmental Conservation with a certificate in women’s studies from the University of Colorado Boulder in 1981 and a J.D. degree and certificate in environmental law from the Northwestern School of Law at Lewis & Clark College in 1985.

        She’s a professional griefer. We’re electing people to office that think wealth just happens and that poverty is not the natural state of man.

      • juris imprudent

        Not just that “wealth just happens” but that is must be guided by government policy!

    • Ted S.

      We don’t seem to be getting much of that in New York. 🙁

      • Nephilium

        Small group of protesters gather in Dr. Amy Acton’s neighborhood

        My favorite line:

        Neighbors told KRForbesPhotography that they had seen “several men walking up and down the street with assault weapons stating that there will be no violence. ‘For now,’” according to the freelance photographer.

        On the less happy side, health care workers organized a rally at the State House to support the lockdown. I’m guessing they weren’t the health care workers who were laid off or had their hours cut (although I’m not sure how much that happened here).

    • Rufus the Monocled

      I think I’m ok with that because she’s unelected but medical bureaucrats are driving policy that impact citizens from behind the scenes. They need to be sent a (peaceful) message.

      Not a single doctor on TV who talk on mainstream networks or papers is moderating their positions instead choosing to insist on a policy of ‘be afraid’ and ‘we must continue because we’re not out of the woods’ and ‘this is the new norma’.

      We MUST reject this.

      • sloopyinca

        I’m good with them protesting on the sidewalk outside her house.
        Funny thing is: I bet there’s a whole lot of overlap between people decrying it and those who applauded people protesting outside the homes of wealthy business owners and board members.

      • Nephilium

        On one hand, she’s a public official. On the other hand, it’s involving her family (if she has one), and her neighbors. On the gripping hand, I’d be lying if I didn’t say it entertains me there’s a chance that protestors would prevent her from leaving her house.

      • invisible finger

        If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the bureaucracy.

      • Tonio

        “driving policy that impact citizens from behind”

        Isn’t that always the case?

      • AlexinCT

        This is gonna hurt me more than it will hurt you…

        chuckles…

      • WTF

        STEVE SMITH IMPACT CITIZENS FROM BEHIND!!!

    • Nephilium

      Looks like you should have refreshed. 🙂

      I’ll just cut a hole in the mask to fit the food through. That’ll work, right?

      • Nephilium

        The future of bars in Ohio.

        (SFW)

      • AlmightyJB

        I mentioned this before, but I don’t think DeWine will open bars until he is forced to.

      • Nephilium

        I think he’ll have a hard time keeping a separation between bars and restaurants. Off the top of my head, I can think of only a handful of bars that don’t have food service. And if it means being able to open back up, I’m willing to bet most of them will pick up a microwave and some shitty frozen meals to put on a menu.

      • Festus

        I think that they are spectacular! Thanks for the laugh “in these trying times”!

      • Aloysious

        Damn you. I just laughed coffee all over my computer.

        *shakes ungloved fist*

    • Rufus the Monocled

      I go out to dine to escape madness and enjoy myself.

      I don’t go to one to see how concentration and reeducation camps work.

      If restaurants force masks, fuck ’em. Heck, even the social distancing thing is running thin with me. I ain’t eating there. I’ll wait until the hysteria blows over.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I don’t think the hysteria is going to blow over on this one.

      • Festus

        The hysteria depends upon a compliant media and just how far they can further the narrative. People are sick of this, already. I give it two more weeks, tops.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        How do you figure?

  12. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Tard Tuesday: Hubris

    Michelle Obama: “A lot of our folks didn’t vote. It was almost like a slap in the face.”

    “Every time Barack didn’t get the Congress he needed, that was because our folks didn’t show up. After all that work, they couldn’t be bothered … That’s my trauma.”

    • PieInTheSky

      How many folks does she own?

    • Q Continuum

      She is a despicable person.

    • sloopyinca

      Don’t you get it? Blacks are a monolith who must vote Team Blue or else they’re race-traitors.
      At least that’s pretty much what the overwhelming majority of “black leaders” say.

    • Ted S.

      I’ll never forget how she bullied Gabby Douglas on The Tonight Show

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The Ever-Reliable DU Take

      I think it’s not really fair for the country to always rely on black voters to counteract the idiocy and greed of so many white voters.

    • Festus

      Hill-Dog in blackface.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Is there a more insufferable and over praised person than Michelle Obama?

      She’s an awful person.

      And her using the word ‘folks’ makes me want to get the Wuhan.

      • Festus

        Sanctimonious Cunte. The Ur-Karen, if you will.

    • PieInTheSky

      wait are 3 and 26 similar or is it just me?

      • Q Continuum

        I think it’s the same girl.

      • PieInTheSky

        Pretties one if only the tits were slightly smaller… but overall works fine

      • Festus

        I liked the red-head.

      • SandMan

        #1 looks rather nosy, but still would.

      • Festus

        Yeh, she was a close second. I like women with interesting features.

    • l0b0t

      #5 and #6 please.

    • Festus

      “Did she not refuse the Queenly Crown thrice?” (paraphrasing)

    • cyto

      I am pretty sure this is an intentional strategy. Strike that, you don’t need to say pretty sure. It is starting with people closely connected to the DNC. So I sincerely doubt that they are simply stating opinions.

      This seems to be a two-pronged operation. The first is to clean up the mess. By asking a couple of questions and getting her on TV, they can say that it has been investigated and there is nothing there. By putting her on TV more, they will be able to manipulate her image and make her a less sympathetic creature.

      The second prong is The Back-up Plan to the senile old man. If he doesn’t survive this, they can have a plug-in play replacement at the convention. This would be perfect for their election chances, because it would not give the people time to fully vet the candidate. They will be relying upon a media that is nothing more than a propaganda machine to tell them who they are dealing with.

      For an example of just how powerful this propaganda machine is, Governor Cuomo of New York is polling at nearly 80% approval nationally. This is the guy who presided over the absolute worst response in the entire nation. His state is even worse than Italy. In fact, if you subtract New York from the equation then the United States has barely had a blip with this virus. Now, that may or may not be down to anything he did or did not do. But the facts are the facts. But with CNN firmly in his corner, running Pro Cuomo propaganda all day everyday, his numbers are really high. Because there is no one who cares to do any counter messaging.

      This same phenomenon would take hold in September and October if the Democrats plugged in a last-minute replacement. It would be down to Breitbart and Rush Limbaugh to get the message out. Good luck being able to put together a message and get it to penetrate in only a month or month-and-a-half.

      If I am on Team D, I have to be looking at that as a pretty good strategy.

      • Festus

        President Moochelle would be just as unsufferable as the Saints winning the Superbowl after Katrina.

      • l0b0t

        FIGHTIN’ WORDS!!! WHO DAT NATION FOREVER!

        Fun Fact – “Who Dat?” predates the existence of the Saints franchise and might even predate the NFL itself. It has been a staple of NOLA high school sports for a long, long time. The NFL’s attempt to trademark the phrase was dirty pool.

    • leon

      A committee to draft Michelle Obama as Joe Biden’s running mate has formed and is already pushing attention to the former first lady in hopes she gets the spot

      And the DNC wonders why they have such shit for candidates that run. When you spend 30 years pimping 2 families as the candidates, at the cost of the state legislatures, governors offices and other down ballot candidates, well you might have a a bad time.

  13. Q Continuum

    “Russian lawmakers in 2017 decriminalized simple assault against family members”

    wut

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Decriminalizing traditional Russian marriage techniques

    • PieInTheSky

      rule of thumb Q

    • Drake

      The Keep It Simple Stupid act.

      • AlexinCT

        BITCH MADE ME DO IT!

    • bacon-magic

      Bro, let’s go to Russia and finish this.
      *drops gloves*

    • Festus

      It’s always been about damaging the economy so that Orangemanbad will lose in November. I’ve averred this from the start.

  14. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Re Russian domestic violence: You’re stuck in a Soviet era high rise watching your meager life’s savings dwindle with nothing to keep you company but a bottle of vodka and a used to be hot wife who now looks like a tired Boris Yeltsin. Of course you’re going to get violent.

    • Festus

      This bullshit is driving Wifey batty. She’s going to be off for at least the next month, maybe longer. She’s a naturally busy and gregarious person and the cracks are starting to show. Maybe I should whip out the old top-hat and tails and do a daily dance for her? This has got to end or she’s gonna murder me in my sleep…

      • Festus

        My routine is unchanged but this has been nothing but tumult and chaos for her. Poor Wifey!

      • Fourscore

        No dancing until you recover from your recent accident, my boy. Rest but dance in your wildest dreams

      • Festus

        I’m still working but stairs are a little more challenging. I’m healing, I’ll live. Stupid Glib Zoom Chats! *grumbles and applies unguent*

  15. Tundra

    Good morning, Sloopy!

    That’s a pretty gigantic 5 year-old. And Lambos are kind of trashy, but good on the kid for making it as far as he did without crashing. Never would have happened with a manual. Just sayin’.

    I finally ran afoul of the mask nazis yesterday. Walking into Menard’s, I was told I had to have a mask to shop. So I told the guy “Home Depot it is” and drove five minutes to HD and got what I needed, no masks anywhere.

    What I think I hate most about this is the soul sucking constant fear mongering. Masks in January made some sense. Masks today are just completely retarded.

    I don’t really have an opinion on the cop thing except that defacing the flag for your little gang is distasteful.

    Ah, Debbie. Here’s a little treat for you, Sloop! Never get tired of her.

    Have a good day, y’all. No ratting.

    • sloopyinca

      Shouldn’t this make you happy? Dealers will be desperate to sell inventory now, which means deals aplenty.
      God, I’d hate to see the floorplan some of those guys are sitting on right now.

      • PieInTheSky

        No, because I work in the automotive division of my company and as such no new cars is bad news.

      • sloopyinca

        Ah. Well that ain’t good.

        But look on the bright side: you are unwittingly contributing to saving grandma and grandpa. Oh, and those brave frontline workers.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Pie….WE’RE IN THIS TOGETHER.

        Not sure how….but the commercials and rock stars tell me this.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Used car wholesale prices are down about 15% but it hasn’t shown up in retail yet. Accordingly, off-lease values are plummeting as well. Ford and GM are about to get crushed.

        I’d say it’s even money on whether they pull another cash for clunkers scam.

      • Mojeaux

        I’m still looking at an RC trailer as office space in case we end up renting a place too small for both me and my husband to work from home. I can go to the library to work if I must.

      • Mojeaux

        RV trailer. I’m not hooking RC to my pickup and dragging him down the road.

      • R C Dean

        *places shotgun back in closet*

      • PieInTheSky

        Buy a Tesla instead

      • Tonio

        I don’t know if these are cheaper, but you might want to explore those small cargo containers pre-outfitted as construction site supervisor offices. I know they have AC units. Presumably rent by the month with drop-off and pickup included.

      • Festus

        That’s actually a dandy idea, Tonio.

      • Mojeaux

        It is a dandy idea, but I would have no place to put it. With an RV, I can hook it up and take it somewhere out of the way. The idea is not necessarily to stay in my driveway (if I have one). The idea is to be able to go to the park.

        Anyway, we don’t know yet if Mr. Mojeaux will have to work from home. If we end up in a small space and he DOES, the RV becomes more a necessity than an option.

        If he does NOT, I will just go to the library every day.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That’s a great idea. Construction is starting to feel pressure so prices may be coming down on those.

  16. leon

    I saw yesterday that Krystall Ball from the Hill had a segment on Amash seeking the LP nomination and the “he’ll get Trump elected freakout”. Was nice to have someone tell the DNC/Never Trumpers to fuck off and that they don’t own anyone’s votes.

    What made me laugh is that she called Amash a radical conservative libertarian, and proceeded to list of his crimes. It actually made me want to vote for Amash. Lady of you think this guy is radical, what do you call the guy I want to get the nomination?

    • Drake

      Who is going to get the Glibertarian nomination this year?

      • CPRM

        If it’s anything like the TOS it’ll be, “I totes don’t vote, because I’m hip with the millenials. But, if I were to vote it would be for the Democratic nominee, because they are the most libertarian evah.”

      • Festus

        Heroic Mulatto/ McCaffee 2020. “Because You Know Things Are Gonna Get Weird!”

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Krystal is a moron. She ran for Congress in my district. Her responses to interview questions were so bad that they hurt my brain.

      I can guarantee that Krystal doesn’t develop her own segments but they are written by her handlers. She’s on TV because she’s not ugly.

      • leon

        If you grade on a journalist curve she’s better than average media talking head. She doesn’t transparently reflect DNC talking points. Though much of that is a a byproduct of being a hopeless socialist, I will respect principled people over sycophants.

  17. Trigger Hippie

    Made it about halfway through the snitches article before my blood began boiling too much to carry on. Jesus Christ, some members of our species are repugnant.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      You can thank social media for normalizing that shit. When I was growing up in the ‘80s being a snitch was one of the worst things you could be accused of.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Hell, it still was in the early/mid 00’s. At least in my social circle it still is. But I’m not exactly a typical example of an everyday American. Me does a lot of shite on the stealth.

    • Ted S.

      And people are blaming it on Trump.

    • Tonio

      I was told repeatedly that opposition to sensible quarantine measures was totes a racist white thing.

      • AlexinCT

        Note how that detail seems to be glanced over, huh…

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m waiting for the measures to be loosened to sensible.

    • CPRM

      Larry Teague is also charged with violating the governor’s order requiring face coverings inside stores in order to prevent coronavirus transmission.

      I was on the fence before, but knowing this the monster must be stopped!!11!!11!

    • invisible finger

      Dog bites man.

  18. Drake

    Somebody at a major newspaper notices that the goalposts were moved miles away after the lockdowns started.

    • Ted S.

      but the dykes held, thanks to the incredible sacrifices of front-line health workers.

      Barf.

      • PieInTheSky

        Wait I thought dykes was no longer acceptable?

      • Shirley Knott

        Gotta love the strong homosexual women who held.
        There’s a difference between ‘dykes’ and ‘dikes’. /pedant mode

      • Q Continuum

        Such bravery to never take your finger out of the dyke.

      • Fourscore

        Depending on your gender you may never have to worry about getting your finger in a dyke

      • Festus

        Or getting it back.

  19. Rufus the Monocled

    Now, in addition to commercial engaging in hero worshipping of health care workers merely doing their jobs, I’m seeing commercials of how brave and committed USPS is to people getting their mail.

    My God the self-congratulatory nonsense of it all.

    Where millions of people are suffering in various ways, the people LEAST impacted are creating a bubble world where they cast themselves as heroes and brave.

    Bizarre. And not in a good way.

    • Q Continuum

      Why are you getting commercials about the USPS in Canada?

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Hello. We get USA channels? And in my case, I get direct feeds to NY Pix and KTLA. I’m the most informed Canadian on U.S. affairs on the continent.

        And those Canadian channels are predominantly U.S. content because hence all the CanCon rules.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      There are plenty of good nonnarcissists in those fields but be sure to avoid interacting with anyone who falls for or indulges in that nonsense.

      • Festus

        Mail volume is up, bigly. That’s a good thing, right?

  20. Tundra

    In non-retarded Gvernor news:

    Getting Back to Normal

    Our state motto is a beautiful one: “Under God, the people rule.” That is what our system of government is all about – the people of South Dakota are the source of the power and legitimacy of our government – not the media, not politicians and not political parties. That’s a healthy perspective for any elected official to keep in mind.

    If you’ve not read it yet, our “Back to Normal” plan doesn’t include new government programs, more red tape, proscriptive phases, tight controls, or anything of the like. That’s not South Dakota.

    Rather, our plan continues to put the power of decision-making into the hands of the people – where it belongs. I trust South Dakotan’s to continue to exercise common sense, reasonableness, innovation and a commitment to themselves, their families, and – in turn – their communities.

    Would.

    • leon

      she should run for the LP Nomination

      • Suthenboy

        Why? She has actual libertarian ideas. They would never have her.

    • EvilSheldon

      I wonder what land prices are like in SD…

    • Festus

      Indeed.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      At least get a pornstar that’s attractive. Yeesh.

    • DrOtto

      Danger is her last name.

  21. Mojeaux

    eBay discussion from previous thread:

    1) I mostly sell on eBay. UCS is right that it’s not worth selling there anymore after all the fees, rules, and shit you have to take from customers. EBay made it completely hostile to sellers. If I don’t mind paying for new or it’s something I can’t get on eBay, I go to Amazon. Otherwise, anymore, the only thing I buy on eBay is Adobe software and the only thing I sell is embroidery stuff, where there are people with my specific interest.

    2) Craigslist for selling locally is da bomb. I’ve bought and sold on there for a long time. But it is going the way of the do-do on the good stuff. People are selling on Facebook Marketplace now. It doesn’t take a fee, but it will figure out a way when CL is no longer useful.

    3) Letgo has a worthless site and you have to jump through too many hoops.

    4) People use NextDoor to buy and sell locally too.

    • Nephilium

      the only thing I buy on eBay is Adobe software

      That may be mildly risky. There’s lots of counterfeit/stolen codes that show up for auction.

      • Mojeaux

        I have had for many years a copy of Pshop 7 I use the hell out of. I have 2 copies of Illustrator (because v6 is an upgrade of v? which I originally bought). I don’t use it much but I love having it when I need it. I buy from people who don’t claim to have multiple copies. I wouldn’t hesitate to buy another Adobe product from someone who has one used copy.

      • Mojeaux

        Not coincidentally, this is why I’m dreading the move to Win10. They probably will not work anymore. I’ll be damned if I end up paying for a subscription to Adobe, which is the only way to get Adobe products anymore. Everyone has to have the latest and greatest version? Not me.

        Also, see my utilities post. I dread those not being able to make the jump.

      • UnCivilServant

        Photoshop 5 and InDesign 6 work on Windows 10. Source – they’re installed on my machine.

      • Mojeaux

        Excellent! Thank you!!!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      With much of the COVID-19-ravaged nation under orders to stay in, more men are falling prey to pretty women — or people posing as pretty women — who convince them to engage in self-love on camera, then demand cash to keep from going public.

      How stupid do you have to be?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’ll answer my own question: Carlos Danger stupid

      • Ted S.

        Who wants to see these men engaging in self-love, anyway?

      • AlexinCT

        People that then will use that content to blackmail the fuck out of these idiots?

    • PieInTheSky

      Victims are approached on social media or dating apps, or “a person flies into their DMs,” Goldberg said, then the scammers suggest switching to a more private online platform like instant-messaging app Kik or Skype, where a video call can be recorded.

      Wait someone flies in your DMs and yada yada yada you send them nudes?

      • AlexinCT

        SHE WAS HAWT PIE!

        The fact that it was a picture and I never saw anything else never set off alarms in my head…

  22. PieInTheSky

    So this guy I I think is a brit has a thread called My Museum

    This caught my eye

    My Museum: 11
    When I was eleven every boy I knew had a sheath knife dangling off their S belt. Mine was given to me by my godfather, Jimmy Edwards, whose luxuriant handlebar moustache hid scars received piloting a burning Dakota at Arnhem. He’d been a patient of Archibald McIndoe

    https://twitter.com/jamiembrixton/status/1257580714364674049

    Imagine that in old England in these days. There would be insufficient smelling salts and fainting couches.

  23. R C Dean

    On the cop mask thing:

    They’re on the job, they do what they’re told and wear what they’re told.

    I kinda like the thin blue line flag – it’s cops and copsuckers self-identifying. But when they are in uniform anyway, I don’t need it.

    • Nephilium

      The one that really grinds my gears is this one. How tone deaf do you need to be to take an axe crazy vigilante, and use his log as a symbol for the police.

      • Drake

        It’s convenient to be able to spot the really bad cops from a distance.

      • The Other Kevin

        The Punisher’s whole shtick was that the police and courts were corrupt and worthless, therefore he had to take matters into his own hands. So I appreciate the irony.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The morons are self-identifying for your ease of avoiding them.

  24. Drake

    How did we shelter in place in ’68-69 while the Hong Kong virus was killing 100,000 Americans out of a population of 200 million?
    Oh yeah.

    • Don Escaped Australians

      I can’t figure out how to get it to come up in google, but

      there’s a theory afoot that soft food diets are a big part of contemporary dental problems. Chewing is good for you: apples, dates, wartpigs, whatever you can catch; porridge and bread, not so much. Tough food is good for teeth, gums, and alignment; soft food is consistent with caries.

      I’m also lead to believe that finding skulls with good teeth is not odd at all. Caries, tooth loss, and wear are common in skulls from older persons, but reasonable formation and order are not odd. I think of it this way: what Darwinian mechanism would promote crooked teeth but all wrists and ankles to present pristinely, uniformly? Straight bones shouldn’t be odd.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    That is what our system of government is all about – the people of South Dakota are the source of the power and legitimacy of our government – not the media, not politicians and not political parties. That’s a healthy perspective for any elected official to keep in mind.

    I think I’m in love.

    • R C Dean

      I hope she’s smart enough to stay far away from the LP, although she’s the most libertarian governor I can remember in a very long time.

      Pls., Trump, put her on the ticket as party of your “Make the Economy Great Again” platform, as a sharp contrast to the Branch Covidians.

  26. PieInTheSky

    straffinrun whiskey recommendations are generally underwhelming.

    • Swiss Servator

      Well if that isn’t a bit of out of nowhere not nice.

      • PieInTheSky

        what do you mean?

      • bacon-magic

        Taste is subjective. So what if it doesn’t taste like blood, it’s whiskey. Don’t look for the copper taste, it’s not there.

    • Gustave Lytton

      You’re free to send me what’s left of your Chita and another case if you’d like.

  27. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Tard Tuesday: Wherein Necessities Magically Appear And Sustain Us From The Proper Utilization Of Big Dick Energies

    Yall really would rather reopen the country and kill millions instead of just like demanding a debt freeze and temporary UBI till we’re in the clear?

    Yall simpin’ so hard for capitalism you’re protesting to let your nana, peepaw, and all your compromised friends die so you cna return to your shitty middle management corporate job like some beta cuck for the oligarchs.

    Little dick energy.

    • PieInTheSky

      Yall really would rather reopen the country and kill millions instead of just like demanding a debt freeze and temporary UBI till we’re in the clear? – and if it works till then why not make it permanent?

    • leon

      Yall really would rather reopen the country and kill millions

      These people are following the science.

      • robc

        Scott Sumner, who should know better, is claiming the same on econlog. Okay, just 1 million, but still.

    • Viking1865

      Leftists on Reddit are really trying hard to make it seem like they’re tough, self sufficent, independent. They call rightwingers “bootlickers” without a shred of irony.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      I read some of those comments. Now i know they’re socialists so ‘tard is what they do best but all these morons cheering on the shut down, have they not noticed by corporations have been allowed to remain open?

      I thought the left love Mom and Pop shops but are willing to let them die here? Another case of them lacking any kind of coherence or principles.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        The old left loved small businesses, the new left realized they can get corporations to bow to their contrived social pressure so bigger businesses are their preference now (as long as they toe the line).

      • Ted S.

        The new left are basically fascists.

      • leon

        Yes. I’ve said for a while now that Socialist is a term for someone who leans communist and democratic socialist is a term for someone who leans fascist. Warrenite plans to put a government bureaucrat on every billion dollar corporations board comes right out of 1930’s Germany.

      • Viking1865

        Fascist economics is what is taught in schools and is accepted by the vast majority of Americans. They just call it a “mixed economy”.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Troikas.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Tales of the new abnormal.

    Bar re-opened yesterday. The furniture is all jumbled around, because you’re not allowed to be (sit or stand) “at” the bar. Blah blah social distancing, whatever. Apparently there are a bunch of pointless and completely impractical/unenforceable rules (guidelines?) which I made no effort to learn. The patio out back was open, and it looked to be pretty much business as usual.

    The Monmday bartender, who is kind of a karen, wouldn’t take my money. I ordinarily go C O D, but I had to run a tab to minimize something or other. Filthy lucre. I think she was trying to maintain order, but everybody ignored her.

    The general consensus of opinion is definitely, “Fuck this shit.” I don’t see an attempt to reinstate the lockdown being well received.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      There’s no FUCKING way they can maintain and enforce any of this shit. To do so, you will have to go full Brown and Black shirt and control people’s behaviours and movement natural you our species.

      It’s ludicrous.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Well from the snitching article it seems they have their brown/black shirts in the form of bloused and polo shirted Karens and Kens (dont know the male equivalent)

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Boy did I mess up that comment. ‘Movement NOT natural to our own species.’

  29. The Late P Brooks

    Yall simpin’ so hard for capitalism you’re protesting to let your nana, peepaw, and all your compromised friends die so you cna return to your shitty middle management corporate job like some beta cuck for the oligarchs.

    He makes a compelling argument.

    • AlexinCT

      Where is the line about how much more noble it is to live in nana’s or mama’s basement watching porn and eating cheetos all day?

      • KSuellington

        Don’t forget rent free! Just because grandma owns the house doesn’t mean she gets to charge me rent!

  30. LJW

    There’s a flock of Karens (what do you call a group of Karens? A complaint?) commenting on a facederp friends post about how she he unfriending people who post “corona virus disinformation”. In other words if it doesn’t come from the almighty government then it’s a racist conspiracy theory. The notice trend among the commenters is unsurprising. They’re a all on the left side and they’re all middle-upper to upper class. Our congressional district was flipped blue in the last election. This is not uncommon in our history. However, in the past it was a more moderate blue while our current rep is a quiet far leftist. I fear now that many from my generation are driving the politics around here. At the same time many of them are coming into wealth which is at least initially sheltering them from their idiotic decisions.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      If they succeed, that wealth will be fleeting.

      • LJW

        Which they deserve, unfortunately so will mine.

    • EvilSheldon

      Herd of Karens? Pack of Karens?

      I guess that evaluating expert information based on prior performance is racist, too.

      • Fourscore

        Heard of Karens

      • Agent Cooper

        A Grievance of Karens.

      • Mojeaux

        You win the internet.

      • EvilSheldon

        A scold of Karens.

    • Aloysious

      ~”what do you call a group of Karens?”~

      A shriek. A shriek of Karens.

      Their motto: shriek louder, shriek harder.

  31. Suthenboy

    Debbie Harry. She was about as hot as they can get….really smoking. She also gave up a substantial portion of her career to care for the man she loved when he became ill.
    Some of her music was pretty catchy too.

    She is also (IIRC) the one who liked to give dipshitty political lectures in the middle of concerts and the one who made famous “You can’t hug your children with nuclear arms”.

    I guess the hotness makes up for that.
    *cues up ‘Heart of Glass’*

    • Viking1865

      Even for a leftist political statement, that’s rather dumb. Nuclear arms aren’t for hugging, they’re for directly threatening the ruling class of an enemy country with unstoppable oblivion should that country make war on yours. I wouldn’t comb a kids hair with a sheath knife, that doesn’t mean a sheath knife isn’t useful.

      If it weren’t for nukes, Stalin would have rolled West in 1947 at the very latest. He wouldn’t care about losing millions of soliders in a conventional conquest of Europe. But if only one B29 had gotten through to the Kremlin……well, that’s far too much risk.

    • Don Escaped Australians

      could be

      I saw them around 1988: no lecture.

      Very tight band, not that they took any chances. Not my thing at all, but FirstWife was in television, and free concert tickets were part of her haul, so I killed some time listening to all kinds of eighties BS.

    • PieInTheSky

      What do you prefer charity or atom bombs?

      • Suthenboy

        Let me think about that for a bit

      • PieInTheSky

        Shit I fucked that up

        It is “Which do you prefer, atom bombs or charity”

  32. Rufus the Monocled

    I really like Slate Star Codex but I was annoyed by how people can over-intellectualize what I think – in my simplistic way I guess – is something that is pretty clear where morals are concerned.

    Alexander seemed to be saying Biden may be indeed be guilty of what he’s accused of but is pretty sure (80%) he’ll vote for him. Sorta like how the victim said she would.

    Fine.

    But then all the musings about what he said and meant all the over the top critical thinking became nauseating. For me it’s simple, all our lives men taught other men to treat women and children poorly or worse is the result of low character and cowardice. That we should shun such people. I certainly prescribe to this notion.

    Yet, somehow we’re okay with voting for someone who is very likely a FUCKEN RAPIST?

    Makes me wonder sometimes.

    • PieInTheSky

      Meh in Romania a guy who got off on a technicality but was fairly conclusively proven to be pimping 16 year old girls to the rich and powerful got elected mayor because he promised to renovate private apartment buildings with city hall money. People in general are immoral scum.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Sure. But spare us the intellectual diarrhea.

        Just admit you’re wiling to turn a blind eye to it and move the frick on.

      • PieInTheSky

        It pisses me off because suggest decriminalizing prostitution in this country and they all get the vapors n

    • Viking1865

      The accusations leveled against Trump have given them the pretext of “Well they’re both rapists!!!!” which if I remember correctly these same people were calling “whataboutism” a couple years ago.

      I said it a while back: they’re not voting for Biden. The Democrats don’t actually need a President, they have the bureaucracy, the academics, the media. There isn’t a need for them to actually have a decisive and independent leader.

      The way this shit works is simple: the academics postulate some new leftist policy, it circulates through academia, then it starts getting pushed out by the media. Not in a conspiratorial way, just in a likeminded people talking about wonderful things way. It simmers and bubbles and melds into the cultural landscape, and then eventually it starts getting pushed by politicians. By the time it actually comes to a floor debate. Like, take gay marriage. By the time Oberfell was heard, every Right Thinking Person agreed with the argument. No one needed to debate it or prove anything about it. It was just understood that It Was Right To Do This and so they whipped up some emanations and penumbras and there you go.

      Joe Biden doesn’t need to be a capable leader formulating policy. His policies are already ready for him, as soon as they get him in the White House they will start passing legislation and he just has to sign it. They will let him use the Big Boy Special Pen. Once its signed, true believers in the judiciary rubber stamp it, and the true believer bureaucrats implement it. The Biden goes back to picking his nose. He wonders what snack he gets today.

      • Idle Hands

        What did you think of the Skins draft? Our secondary is going to be a mess. Again. I really really like Young, but we could have absolutely reached for the CB from ohio state and I would have been too mad about it.

      • Viking1865

        Young should be amazing. All Pro type talent at a high value position, I don’t mind that. Rivera had to play big dick with the secondary and ship out Dunbar and Nicholson and brought on worse players who fit his Good Culture mindset. So we’ll keep not covering well, but the dudes will be Good Dudes.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        A friend is in foreign services. The biggest problem he finds he has to guard against is group think.

    • leon

      The thought process i have heard is: Trump has several assault claims against him, so either way a rapist is getting into the WH. And you only have “two options”. Which is something I’ve seen a bit from blue checkmarck twitter. Which we know is an absolute lie, but one that everyone keeps perpetuating because getting the person you voted for in power is more important, even though that person will fuck you over just as much as the other guy.

      It is Tribalism drawn to it’s most absurd levels.

      • Viking1865

        “And you only have “two options”

        The National Topsider style “Republicans” who voted for McMuffin in 2016 are now urging their tiny tribe of David Brooks fanboys to vote Biden so as not to split the anti-Trump vote.

      • leon

        Yup. And the LP is flirting with going for “Name Recognition” over “good proponent of the Ideas”. Gary Johnson screwed the pooch in Utah. He was polling at ~10-15% IIRC in Utah, and then he made his “Well religious liberties need to be regulated” comment and support collapsed.

      • Viking1865

        Amash would have been a good pick before he bent the knee to the Deep State.

        Like, how fucking dumb do you have to be? If they can railroad the fucking President Elect, then what chance does any normal citizen have?

      • leon

        Or what hope does any libertarian who want’s to dismantle the surveillance state, have?

      • AlexinCT

        “,em>Amash would have been a good pick before he bent the knee to the Deep State.”

        I would disagree with you that what he did was bend the knee to the deep state. To me it was obvious that he went off his rockers when bad orange man decided to fight China and cost him a massive amount of money: this was a reaction to a hit made on his pocket book by policy changes that stopped sucking CCP dick.

    • Idle Hands

      Slate Star Codex is awesome. But seriously autistic.

  33. UnCivilServant

    I Put these on and my first reaction was “I feel like a supervillain”.

    First pair of gloves I own that were made in pakistan

  34. The Late P Brooks

    WTF?

    President Donald Trump and many governors are heralding a reopening of the American economy — even though a majority of states ending their coronavirus shutdowns this week have not met the White House’s most basic thresholds for testing, tracing and a prolonged drop in new cases.

    The White House has tried to distance itself from governors’ actions by insisting its reopening guidelines are merely suggestions, not the rule of law. But Trump is latching himself on to the message that America is ready to reopen, traveling on Tuesday to Arizona — one of the states not yet meeting all of the administration’s criteria — to visit a Honeywell plant and promote the reopening of huge swaths of the nation.

    ——-

    Trump in recent days has pivoted his attention squarely to the U.S. economy, even as he revised upward his own expectations for the death toll caused by Covid-19. On Monday, a coronavirus model closely watched by the White House also moved upward, projecting roughly 134,000 deaths by August — a near doubling of its forecast, prompted by states’ rush to lift restrictions.

    ——-

    The president, conservative economists, political activists and some governors have argued the economy cannot remain shuttered any longer, given the damage from soaring unemployment and collapsing economic output.

    Incoherent nonsense about how President Cartoon Villain is “rejecting” or “defying” White House policy on re-opening the economy. The premise is so stupid it makes everything else completely nonsensical.

    Trump IS the White House, you stupid fuckers. Just because some jackass comes to the White House at the President’s invitation and expresses an opinion, or recommends a policy, that doesn’t mean it supercedes the President’s own policy and becomes Holy Writ.

    Where do they find these crayon eaters?

    • leon

      The White House has tried to distance itself from governors’ actions by insisting its reopening guidelines are merely suggestions, not the rule of law.

      Gosh damnit. I don’t even know what to say to people who on one hand say “Trump is not a king” and impeach him for setting his own foreign policy, and on the other hand complain that he doesn’t argue that he can single handedly craft laws around the coronavirus reopening.

    • Ted S.

      When the fuck did tracing become the new thing for reopening?

      • Drake

        When “the curve” got flattened too early and they needed a different excuse.

  35. Ownbestenemy

    That snitchin article and its white knighting all those fuckers…I need coffee

  36. kinnath

    National Homebrew Convention is cancelled.

    So it is official now. Every fucking vacation I planned for this year is now cancelled.

    • PieInTheSky

      join the club?

    • EvilSheldon

      Yep. NRA Annual Meeting, two USPSA majors, etc, etc.

  37. The Late P Brooks

    The former HHS official characterized Trump’s nudge to reopen the economy as a “moral” victory rather than a major tangible one, since there’s no guarantee it will pay off with an economic recovery.

    Even if the president and several governors applaud the reopening of their parks and hair salons, that does not mean consumers will follow their lead — potentially making their victory seem hollow, given the health risks.

    “People are not going to jump and go to the restaurants and movie theaters immediately,” the former health official said. “That’s not going to happen.”

    I’ll rate that false. I think people will go back to living their lives pretty quickly, given the opportunity, but with a massively reduced level of respect and deference to the technocracy. Win.

    Even if an appreciable number of people are reluctant to go out, allowing that to be their decision, and not the government’s is the appropriate option.

    • Viking1865

      ““People are not going to jump and go to the restaurants and movie theaters immediately,” the former health official said. “That’s not going to happen.”

      I’d love to bet this guy on whether or not he’s right.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Most people can’t even make the distinction between 100 people in a supermarket or 20 people in a diner. They think one is immune and the other will kill them.

    • LJW

      So what it’s better than an economy that’s completely shuttered.

    • Idle Hands

      These people talking about the “new normal” are delusional retards who understand nothing about human psychology or behavior. Figures they are in positions of power. It’s going to surprise a great many of these retards just how fast people say fuck this and go back to what they were doing *checks notes 1.5 months ago. I hate to keep bleating this point but this bug kills the oldsters and even if we reach around 120-140 deaths which is possible as long as they keep juking the stats there will be vast swaths of the country who not only don’t know anybody who fucking dies but don’t even know anyone hospitalized.

  38. Hyperion

    Not sure if anyone has posted this, but it’s an interesting look at how Federalism works with a locked down state compared to one that is now open for business.

    On the other side of the street

    • Viking1865

      “”I would like to cordially invite Gov. Northam down and treat him and his staff to a burger anytime if he could come down and just see where we’re at and our situation,” Deel said. “If you sat on my front porch in my restaurant and looked over across the street and watched the parking lot fill up, maybe he would feel a little bit different, but I’m not sure if he would or not.”

      He wouldn’t Mr. Deel. Because hes a worthless sack of shit, and worthless sacks of shit don’t feel shame. Feeling shame requires having integrity.

      • Idle Hands

        He has no fucking shame and what’s worse his goddamn vocal inflection reminds me of my middle school art teacher who would refer to herself in the third person while talking to the children. He’s a fucking retard but it could be worse we could be saddled with Hogan or Bowser I guess.

      • robc

        Northam didnt get elected by Bristol (or anywhere else along the TN border).

    • Fatty Bolger

      Tennessee Gov. Bill Lee’s testing for the coronavirus has been robust. It has consistently ranked at the top of the Johns Hopkins University mapping of coronavirus state testing, while Northam’s testing has consistently, abysmally lagged toward the bottom.

      Do people think that testing for the virus prevents infection or something?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The objective with testing is to identify cases and quarantine them. Quarantining the entire population is useless and counter-productive.

  39. Mojeaux

    Hobby Lobby is open. Yay I can get fabric to cover my scrapbooks.

    NOT open:

    dentist
    eye doc
    other eye doc
    bulky item pickup

    ???

    • AlmightyJB

      Got a generic email from dentist. They are re-opening next Monday. One person in office at a time. Stay in car and call when you get there and they’ll come out and get you when ready. Must wear face mask to come into office. I assume we can take it off during dental work? I had an appointment schedulesld during the lockdown so I’m sure I’ll be hearing from them. I’m just going to wait.

      • commodious spittoon

        I assume we can take it off during dental work?

        Do you want your dentist to die, anti-dentite?

    • Tonio

      You have a separate doctor for each eye?

      • Agent Cooper

        Holy shit. This made me laugh.

      • Mojeaux

        I already proclaimed Agent Cooper as having won the internet for “a grievance of Karens”, but you come in a close second!

        We are considering getting XX Lasik because we have such a hard time getting her a glasses scrip that actually works.

  40. The Late P Brooks

    When the fuck did tracing become the new thing for reopening?

    When it began to be apparent that it doesn’t make everybody it touches deathly ill there are lots of asymptomatic carriers who must be surveilled because they’ll give it to Granny.

    The wind-up monkeys have to keep beating their little tin drums. It’s what they do.

  41. PieInTheSky

    I decided to cook some beef and found a recipe for the perfect boeuf bourguignon and upon reading it I decided fuck that too complicated and improvised something similar but not quite. It has lots of wine and beef and mushrooms.

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      I made that recently. It was indeed rather complicated but evidently worth the effort. Allspice, cloves, thyme, and bay leaf.

      • PieInTheSky

        the lost me at the pearl onion. who has that shit?

      • Incentives Matter

        My French grandpapa’s recipe does, but he wasn’t anal about it. ”Pearls if you can find ’em, otherwise regular onions will do.” He also never used brandy or cognac as a “finisher”, ’cause he said it was an affectation added to the recipe later by people with too much money. The original recipe was a hearty peasant dish made with commonly-available ingredients in the region it came from. Same’s true of most French recipes.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    What’s that sound?

    Gov. Gavin Newsom announced that some retail stores across the state can reopen with modifications as early as Friday amid growing pressure to ease the stay-at-home order that has cratered the California economy.

    The new changes are part of a four-stage plan the governor laid out last week to gradually transition back to normal in a state of nearly 40 million people whose lives have been upended by the COVID-19 pandemic.

    “We are entering into the next phase this week,” Newsom said at his Monday news conference to provide an update on the state’s response. “This is a very positive sign and it’s happened only for one reason: The data says it can happen.”

    What you’re hearing is the sound of an ugly angry mob, Gavin, and they’re coming for YOU. Torches and pitchforks at the ready.

    “Data” my eye. You’re starting to get the message there’s an eviction notice on the way.

    • leon

      Friday amid growing pressure to ease the stay-at-home order that has cratered the California economy.

      “Data” my eye. You’re starting to get the message there’s an eviction notice on the way.

      Hardly. I think 70% of Americans approve of these measures. The thing is they are feeling the pressure from the states that have decided to open up, because those states will not be as hard hit economically. It’s one thing to hurt your tax revenues for a few months to a year. Keeping the state closed while other states open could lead to decade long loss of tax revenue as businesses flee

  43. Idle Hands

    How long before the absolutely horrible sales numbers, Unemployment and bankruptcies are reflected in the stock market? Like we are completely insolvent in a ton of sectors yet the Dow keeps on going. How long can the fed keep this house of cards propped up? I Just don’t understand how it’s taken this long. I guess noone want’s to call bullshit plus it’s not like there’s a ton of other places to put you’r money. It’s going to be an interesting 6-8 months.

    • Nephilium

      The Fed is still buying up stocks (and now bonds), which will prop it up. That and with historically low interest rates, where else are you going to put your savings?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        In a declining volume environment, the Fed can push on the market thru the PPT, but when the real selling hits (very shortly), there’s jack shit they can do about it.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      How long before the absolutely horrible sales numbers, Unemployment and bankruptcies are reflected in the stock market?

      Opportunity 1) april jobs report release
      Opportunity 2) q2 GDP release (officially putting us in a recession)

      A large number of people are still viewing this as “uncertain times” and expecting a sharp V recovery once the Gov Troubles are done. The stock market is 100% propped up by government spending and optimistic psychology right now. The instant that people realize that the economy isn’t gonna start breathing right after Daddy Gubmint removes his boot from its throat, we’re in for a dip.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The so-far-so-good market of this week is purely a bull trap.

        It’s climbing on this news, which is insane:

        Data released on Tuesday showed a plunge in services
        activity and a steep drop-off in international goods trade,
        painting the COVID-19 pandemic’s crushing effect on the U.S.
        economy in grim colors.
        The Institute for Supply Management’s (ISM)
        non-manufacturing purchasing managers index (PMI)
        showed activity in the services sector plummeting deep into
        contraction territory in April for the first time since December
        2009, when the economy was clawing its way out of the global
        financial crisis.
        The index fell to 41.8, below the level of 43 generally
        associated with broader economic recession, but above the 36.8
        reading that economists projected.
        The new orders and employment subcomponents both sank to
        their lowest levels since the series started in 1997.
        The data comes on the heels of Friday’s ISM manufacturing
        PMI data, which showed factory activity shrinking to 41.5.
        A PMI number below 50 indicates contraction.
        “Non-manufacturing conditions overall are dire as business
        activity and employment both plunged to record lows while new
        orders indicate sparse activity in the pipeline,” wrote Oren
        Klachkin, lead U.S. economist at Oxford Economics.

  44. The Late P Brooks

    The Democratic governor’s move to give more discretion to counties follows large protests against Newsom’s restrictions at the state Capitol and in Orange County, and as a handful of small rural counties moved to open their communities in defiance of his authority.

    Despite the vocal opposition in some parts of the state, recent polls show that the vast majority of Californians approve of how the governor is handling the coronavirus crisis and are more concerned about reopening too early than too late.

    Yes, yes, of course they do. We don’t know anybody who disagrees.

    • AlmightyJB

      Polls. Damn phone.

    • leon

      I don’t doubt that most americans support the lockdowns. Most Americans have been trained to accept all the bulshit from government and don’t really give a rats ass about rights. For the Left as long as you are free to vote, none of the other rights really matter. For the right, as long as you are cooperative and kind to the people trampling your rights, and don’t resist, they will pay lip service to your liberties.

      • Gustave Lytton

        And then there’s the way polls are constructed and the results interpreted.

      • AlmightyJB

        Yeah, I also wonder what percentage are getting paid unemployment to stay home right now. And what percentage have spouses who are paid unemployment to stay home and are saving money in child care.

      • R C Dean

        I was glad to see that even our idiot governor announced that if your employer was open and you refused to go to work because you are askeert, you lose eligibility for unemployment.

      • R C Dean

        I don’t doubt that most americans support the lockdowns.

        I do. When I talk about it with people, everyone agrees that its time to stop the lockdowns. Anecdotal, and a very small dataset, but even people who supported them early on (like the owner of Mrs. Dean’s gym) are now done with it.

    • Ownbestenemy

      People are comfortable going to a supermarket but not a clothing store. How does that even make sense?

    • KSuellington

      The real vote will be people’s feet. The second that restaurants open here I will be in one with my wife. I’d be surprised if they were full, but I’d bet that even here, in one of the leftiest of the leftist places, many people will go into shops and restaurants. Shit, if they open MLB, I am going to attend a Giants game the second that I can.

      • Tundra

        Yep. I’ll be first in line at my local, at the gym and at every other nonessential business I can think of.

        If I have any money, of course…

      • KSuellington

        I hear ya. No Trumpbux have arrived here yet, and I’m about 25% down in business over the last two months. At least some of our other expenses have dropped to compensate a bit. Everyday here has seen an increase in traffic. May 16 will mark two months of this bullshit.

  45. Drake

    Justin Trudeau

    • PieInTheSky

      I wish my PM was as cool as Justin

      • Drake

        Did Castro knock-up any Romanian women?

      • PieInTheSky

        I would not put it past the bastard

  46. The Late P Brooks

    I think 70% of Americans approve of these measures.

    I’m not so sure. I think polls are universally bullshit, even (especially) when they tell you what you want to hear.

    I think Newsom took a hard look at those beach and park pictures and realized the jig is up.

      • KSuellington

        Hell fricking yeah! Really nice to see. Newsom backed down from his idiotic threat to close all beaches in the state. I live a few blocks from OB. If he tried to close that beach I was willing to get arrested for going on it. Not everyone here is an obedient proggie ejit.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      This is the point at which the Karens are going to really start to feel the heat. People will tolerate a lot, but food shortages are not one of them.

      • leon

        I don’t know at what point people will stop tolerating. I fear however that the reaction will not be slow, but swift and violent.

  47. pan fried wylie

    Parque Fin

    Late as usual…

    I love the ample inclusion of water in your pieces, Yusef. Nice variety of foliage, especially the path-by-the-pond shot with the amphibious grass and the weedy/leafy patches across the path.

    My water pour was a disaster, so my perfect pond has ripples in it, but it still looks good, did I mention I like kites?

    A good kiting day would have wind, which would ripple the pond to some degree. I don’t see the problem. It looks perfectly in-place.

    • egould310

      CV was in the USA before Thanksgiving.

      • robc

        I think so too, but do we have any proven cases? This was the first proven case in France before January.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Fuckers. All of em

    • Drake

      Holy shit I’ve never seen that guy before! He looks exactly like Mussolini with a tan.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      It’s insane.

    • invisible finger

      Kinda like when Moe, Larry, and Curly drummed up business as exterminators by putting ants and mice in a house.

      • Mojeaux

        The Pied Piper.

    • Idle Hands

      Two things the glorious press seemingly refuses to cover are the fact that near majority of all deaths in this country are in nursing homes that are as an ideal lockdown situation as it gets aside from jails and the crushing unemployment and economic woes plaguing this country due to the lockdown.

      • Akira

        near majority of all deaths in this country are in nursing homes

        Here’s what I find insane: With pretty much every single medical condition that belongs almost entirely to one specific demographic, it’s considered prudent to focus on said demographic rather than worrying about other people who have almost no chance of getting it. Nobody advises that men get mammograms every five years to see if they have breast cancer, and nobody says that people in their 20s should get regular colonoscopies to check for colorectal cancer. Why? Because there’s almost no chance that this is the case (unless there’s some symptoms to suggest that) and it’s not a very good use of healthcare resources.

        But that all goes out the window with the ‘Rona. We’re supposed to pretend that every single person can die from this even though it’s statistically insignificant unless you’re elderly and/or living with a major health condition.

  48. leon

    https://covid19.healthdata.org/united-states-of-america

    IHME updated the dashboard, now accepting that states are going to open, they are presenting a model that makes Way more sense. I don’t know but before it seemed like they were just running the same “growing pandemic” model over and over again with the data, and why it didn’t look like states that were barely hit were ever going to get out of it. Included for my state at least was a drastic reduction of the amount expected to be dead (33% of what had been forcated a few days ago)

    • R C Dean

      Although they have now pushed back the end of the pandemic until August.

      Based on what? It was originally the end of May. Testing has shown that this virus reacts to heat and humidity like a typical coronavirus; not well at all. They seem to be treating as some kind of superbug that is an exception to the normal biology of these things.

      • grrizzly

        Some people will claim that they had treat the virus in an extraordinary way because they feared it was more like a bio weapon than a regular respiratory virus. That would explain Trump’s overreaction. I think it’s false but there’s a grain of truth in it.

      • R C Dean

        Sure, if testing had shown that it was unusually heat resistant. My understanding is that it did not.

      • mrfamous

        They got hammered online for the curves being too symmetrical (the downward curve after the peak being too similar to the curve on the way up). It’s true there’s no reason why it should be or even would be this way, so it’s a very valid argument.

        But here’s the problem: confirmation bias. You think when a model comes out that says “OMG we’re all gonna die,” it’s gonna get the same “fine-toothed comb” treatment? Hell no. It’s gonna be “looks good to me” and “TRUST THE SCIENCE!”

        Not a single one of them crawled up the Imperial College model’s ass when they were talking 2.2 million dead for the US. A model in which current deaths in Sweden are roughly 7% of what was predicted. So yes the IHME model deserved to be evaluated and criticized for its flaws, but if you’re only doing it for models with outcomes you don’t like, you sure as hell aren’t doing “SCIENCE!”

      • Akira

        But here’s the problem: confirmation bias. You think when a model comes out that says “OMG we’re all gonna die,” it’s gonna get the same “fine-toothed comb” treatment? Hell no. It’s gonna be “looks good to me” and “TRUST THE SCIENCE!”

        I wish people would think about the incentives involved when people make these models.

        If I make a model that says that 2 million Americans will die of Coronavirus, then the death toll ends up being under 10 thousand, I can always say that the preventive actions were what prevented such deaths. And I can also say that I was “being on the safe side” with good intentions.

        However, if my model said that under 10 thousand would die and then 20 thousand die, I look like an idiot and there’s no excuse.

        Most people seem to think that predictive modelling is like a magical crystal ball that tells you the future. Why they think this with the dismal track record is beyond me.

  49. The Late P Brooks

    I’m not projecting. YOU’RE projecting!

    That the internal FBI documents that have generated this hubbub don’t provide anything close to an exoneration of Flynn is immaterial. This is another instance of a familiar pattern for Trump and his supporters: searching for a shred of new material on the Russia investigation, then insisting that this latest crumb is part of a trail that will eventually, somehow, lead to the vindication of Trump and his associates. What Trump once called “complete and total exoneration” is not just his framing of the result of Mueller’s investigation. It is also a prediction, the anticipated conclusion of coming revelations as the investigations into the Russia investigators continue.

    As such, the frenzy of excitement over some very unexciting documents isn’t all that strange in and of itself. The strange thing is that, a full year after the release of the Mueller report, Trump and the media ecosystem around him are still following that bread-crumb trail toward an ever-elusive climactic moment—even in the midst of a pandemic that is killing more than 1,000 Americans every day. Trump’s supporters like to complain that Democrats are “obsessed” with the Russia probe, but in fact it’s the Trumpist right that just can’t seem to give the investigation up.

    The ongoing fascination on the right with relitigating certain details of the Russia investigation—or, to put it less gently, rewriting the investigation’s history—has four major drivers. The first of these is the president himself. He remains obsessed with the subject, which comes up in speech after speech. A Trump rally is not complete if he hasn’t done an interpretive-dance version of the text messages between the former FBI officials Peter Strzok and Lisa Page, denounced the former FBI director James Comey, and spit out epithets implying an attempted coup or a bit of treason.

    ——-

    The interesting question is why the Trumpist right remains fixated on its Russia-investigation revisionism. Why not simply let it go—let the FBI live with the unflattering inspector-general reports about its handling of Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act matters, the criticisms of Comey and former Deputy Director Andrew McCabe, and the decapitation of its leadership during that period? Why the need to pretend Flynn is innocent—which he manifestly is not? Why the need to pretend some great reckoning is on the horizon—a reckoning that isn’t coming, because the investigation was lawful? Why the need, long past the time when anyone is talking about Donald Trump Jr.’s ill-fated meeting with a Russian lawyer in Trump Tower, to continually insist that there was no Russia matter to investigate and that it was all some kind of conspiracy—when the Russia questions were very real and the conspiracy nonexistent?

    The answers to these questions lie in several interconnected factors. The first is that the president needs enemies—and these enemies have to be connected in some overarching conspiracy narrative. The notion of a deep-state plot that cooked up the “Russia hoax” has become the ur-text for all the wrongs perpetrated against Trump. The “witch hunters” responsible for the Russia probe are the people who tried to overturn his great victory in the 2016 election, and they are thus the template for all the other conspiracies he has faced to the present day.

    Your baseless attempts to gaslight the country and undermine our 100% legitimate attempts to undermine the President just make you look bad.

    Everybody knows President Cartoon Villain is guilty as sin, and a puppet of the Russian oligarchy. And he cheats on his taxes!

    • leon

      Shorter:

      I’m totally okay with the police digging around, and then arresting someone for misremembering something, because it totally made Trump look bad

      Someone let the devil know that he shouldn’t come to the US. The establishment is ready to cut down every law to get him.

      • Gender Traitor

        …unless he announces he’s running against Trump.

      • leon

        In that case they would cut down every law that would inhibit the devil from wining.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Loading….

    • R C Dean

      The interesting question is why the Trumpist right remains fixated on its Russia-investigation revisionism. Why not simply let it go

      Gosh, because a crumbling coverup is revealing what sure looks like a number of crimes committed in order to put innocent people in jail and undermine the elected President?

      • leon

        Yeah. “Hey Guys stop trying to revise history from our narrative, just let it go, that was so last election”. But at the same time “Russia is looking to interfere in the 2020 Election!!!”

    • B.P.

      I see we’re on to the “this is old news” phase, where malfeasance at all levels is simply swept under the rug.

    • leon

      Shorter De Blasio:

      “Go Fuck Yourself NYC!”

      My question is why did NYC elect a redneck hick who hates city folk as mayor?

  50. The Late P Brooks

    But Trump and his supporters need to keep up their attack on the Russia probe for one final reason: Bob Mueller’s findings were actually devastating for the president, and only by continually promoting belief in the evils of the investigation can Trump’s defenders evade the importance and magnitude of those findings. No, Mueller didn’t prosecute anyone for collusion. But the portrait painted in Volume I of his report was of a campaign eager to benefit from Russian electoral interference, in touch with a wide range of Russian operatives and cutouts, and frankly uninterested in the basics of loyalty and patriotism. And the portrait in Volume II was of repeated efforts—arguably criminal—to stymie the investigation of that earlier conduct.

    Slacken just a little your attack on the investigators, and the reality of what Mueller described becomes discomforting. Go easy even for a moment on the latest Flynn revelation, and you might have to ask about the more than 60,000 Americans who have died over the past few months of a virus for which the country was wholly unprepared.

    Stop waving your hands about Strzok and Page and the “entrapment” of Flynn, even briefly, and you might have to start asking what other nonsense you’ve been propagating in defense of the indefensible.

    Right. Wrap yourself in that flag. Climb up on those dead bodies.

    Evil Orange Usurper is evil.

    • leon

      Stop waving your hands about Strzok and Page and the “entrapment” of Flynn, even briefly, and you might have to start asking what other nonsense you’ve been propagating in defense of the indefensible.

      we have to create political prisoners because Trump is that bad.

      Slacken just a little your attack on the investigators, and the reality of what Mueller described becomes discomforting. Go easy even for a moment on the latest Flynn revelation, and you might have to ask about the more than 60,000 Americans who have died over the past few months of a virus for which the country was wholly unprepared.

      This is sad, even for the Atlantic. “This malfeasence of police abuse is not what you need to be worried about because TRUMP KILLED EVERYONE WITH THE CORONOA”

      • Viking1865

        “you might have to ask about the more than 60,000 Americans who have died over the past few months of a virus for which the country was wholly unprepared.”

        2009 H1N1 pandemic was handled so well by Lightbringer though.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      So The Atlantic is actively promoting and defending malfeasance on the part of the permanent state for a preferred political outcome.

      Good to know

    • R C Dean

      the reality of what Mueller described becomes discomforting

      What he actually described was an investigation that showed absolutely no significant wrongdoing, even when it vastly exceeded its remit and was spun to put Trump in the worse possible light. That is indeed discomforting, but not in the way you mean.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Christ. That’s more than enough to destroy the city’s economy. Commercial real estate is going to completely implode.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Dammit. That was supposed to be a response to your previous post.

      • Count Potato

        Well, media is a significant part of NYC’s economy, and I don’t know if it can survive if they lock up all the rapists.

  51. The Late P Brooks

    Two things the glorious press seemingly refuses to cover are the fact that near majority of all deaths in this country are in nursing homes that are as an ideal lockdown situation as it gets aside from jails and the crushing unemployment and economic woes plaguing this country due to the lockdown.

    I haven’t heard anything about the USS Theodore Roooooosevelt Coronaplague, lately. You don’t suppose it’s because they have not actually been dumping dozens of dead bodies over the side on a daily basis. That would be pretty newsworthy.

    Maybe it’s because the on board lab rat colony does not verify the horrific models, and must therefor be discarded from the sample.

    • robc

      Jails are having very high infection rates, with 96% asymptomatic. Probably because they are mostly young and reasonably healthy.

    • Drake

      Actually saw a news snippet this morning – it will be going back out to sea shortly.

  52. The Late P Brooks

    “De Blasio says NYC won’t completely reopen until September despite declining deaths and hospitalization rates”

    De Blasio to City: Drop Dead

    You gotta go with the classics

    • Fatty Bolger

      Just in time for flu season.