You can’t go home again links of rando: Toys and games edition

by | May 18, 2020 | Children, Daily Links, Fun, Games, Musings | 559 comments

I don’t find this trip down Memory Lane to be quite so … disappointing … as the food. May have something to do with the olfactory sense being the most acute.

Spirograph. I have a vintage set, the original #401, 1967. It has all the wheels and pins, but no pens. I use my beloved Pilot Precise V5s in different colors for this. Sadly, I am not very good at this and I have no imagination.

Loom and doom: The ubiquitous pot holder loom. Laugh all you want, but I need more of these things because, quite frankly, they’re better than any pot holders I’ve ever bought. The problem is, the good ones (metal) are freaking expensive now. $15 per pot holder? I think not. (Yes, there are less expensive ones on Amazon. Look at the shipping, though.)

Yeah, so it’s Fisher-Price. Big deal. It played Karen Carpenter and Donny Osmond a whole helluvalot more than it played Dick Wittington and His Cat, and Drake’s Tale and The Bremen Town Musicians.

Chinese checkers. My dad and I used to play almost every night before bed. I don’t know when we stopped but it was probably around the time I decided winning didn’t do anything for me and losing pissed me off. My grandmother taught me how to play gin rummy and checkers.

Except … there was Pit. Playing that game 1) was a valuable economic life lesson and 2) actually did get me pumped when I won and 3) didn’t depress me if I lost because that’s just how the market works. My mother, grandmother, great-aunt, and I would play on New Year’s Eve (my mom’s birthday) and of the four of us, I am the least competitive. It got loud. And nasty. It was glorious.

Dime store Halloween masks should not be left out. Store-bought costumes were out of our budget (because back then, sewing was more economical), but I wanted one of those masks in the worst way.

Does anybody actually know how to play croquet? There were balls and mallets. WHACK! That’s all I needed.

Trouble, Sorry! (not sorry), and Operation.

Old Maid, Go Fish, jacks, and kaleidoscopes.

Clackers. Oh, clackers. Talk about an onomatopoeia. And alternative uses.

The IceBird snow cone maker. I got this for Christmas one year. I don’t know what my parents were thinking. The flavor packets operated on the Gillette razor blade and printer ink model: Buy the toy for cheap and pay a fortune to be able to keep using it.

A Skipper doll. Barbie was a little too upscale for the likes of me.

Going back a little farther, then, we’ve got Bozo the Clown. I got this for my 3rd birthday and promptly popped a hole in him. Why? Because I had just had a vaccine shot and, because I understood the concept of vaccination all too well, thought Bozo should be as inoculated as I was. I got one of my mother’s sewing needles and carefully poked his arm. I was thoroughly bewildered by his inability to hold air after that.

And last but not least, See’n’Say The Farmer Says, and a busy doll for fine-tuning motor skills. Yes, I still remember it.

Where do we go from here?

Testers don’t break the code.
They break your illusions about the code.

About The Author

Mojeaux

Mojeaux

Aspiring odalisque.

559 Comments

  1. AlexinCT

    Morning Glibs, no doom or gloom despite the weather here!

    • juris imprudent

      Per our forecast last night, we sit in a pocket of indecision between sea and land based low pressure systems.

  2. UnCivilServant

    Mo in the Morning?

    Things must be chaotic.

  3. Nephilium

    Pit is still in print, although I prefer Ponzi Scheme or Stockpile (recently reprinted) if I’m going for a stock trading game.

    • robc

      Have you played Black Friday

      • Nephilium

        I have not, but it looks to be in my wheelhouse.

      • robc

        It is my least favorite FF game. Power Grid, of course, being my favorite.

        Power Grid is as close to a perfect game as you can get.

  4. Chipping Pioneer

    Cool stuff, MJ. I remember having some of these, and some other ones at my grandparents’ house.

    How many of the original editions were made in China? I’m going to guess 0. So, it is possible.

    • Chipping Pioneer

      Also, stealing the quote about the code. Seems a good cudgel with which to beat programmers’ egos.

      • UnCivilServant

        They were clearly testing outside of the intended use cases.

      • leon

        A testers job is to Prove the coffee doesn’t work.

      • leon

        I…. I’m gonna let the phone take the W on this one.

      • UnCivilServant

        If you hadn’t said anything, I wouldn’t have known.

      • Chipping Pioneer

        ^^^ THIS ^^^

        Which is why TDD isn’t a panacea. Just because your tests pass doesn’t mean your coffee works.

      • Shirley Knott

        Yup. TDD can’t solve the “it’s just what we asked for and not what we need” problem.

  5. PieInTheSky

    Does anybody actually know how to play croquet? There were balls and mallets. WHACK! That’s all I needed – no flamingos?

    • banginglc1

      I love croquet and play it at least 10 times a year. Wish I could more.

      • Bobarian LMD

        He didn’t ask if you played, he asked if you knew how to play.

        Chasing your family thru the Overlook with a mallet is probably not in the official rules.

      • dontreadonme

        Yeah it is the best yard game, mostly because you can play with drink in hand and totally screw with your buddies. I would actually play golf if you could “send off” your opponent’s ball.

      • banginglc1

        Dating back to college, I made a vow to only play games I could drink during. It made croquet, bowling, bocce ball, and horseshoes the go-to’s. A few years ago some friends wanted to play baseball (actually mushball, but basically the same), I insisted we add a cooler to second base and make it a mandatory stop.

      • dontreadonme

        I like yur style

  6. invisible finger

    My nieces and nephew always got a kick out of The Farmer Says when I could make it so “The Cow says… oink oink.”

  7. gbob

    Mo Monday Morning?! I’m down.

    Did Bozo become an anti-vaxer after that?

    • juris imprudent

      That would make it mo-mo-mo, no?

  8. leon

    “clackers”

    I think that’s doubly racist

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      There was a more modern version of the clackers that popped up around 1990 where instead of string, they used hard plastic to fix the length and make it easier.

      They were very popular in Baltimore. I distinctly remember rising my bike thru some sketchy neighborhoods where dozens of kids were out in the street clacking like some Children of the Clackers B-movie.

      I still have nightmares.

      • Bobarian LMD

        If you could make the string version go, you could be heard from a mile away.

  9. Q Continuum

    “Originally they were made of a single ball placed in the vagina, used to enhance the act of sexual intercourse”

    Maybe I’m some kind of rube, but wouldn’t it get in the way? The idea of accidentally ramming Q Jr. into a marble during The Act is a bit unsettling.

    • AlexinCT

      Q Jr? PFFFFFTT!

      Be more original man. Mine is called Rambo or Terminator….

  10. Fourscore

    Morning Mojeaux,

    This is the first time I’ve heard/read “dime store” in decades. I remember doing all my Xmas shopping in the 5 and 10 when I was about 10 years old or so. Your pictures brought me back to when my own kids were, well, kids.

    My folks taught me how to play cribbage when I was 8/9 so there would be a 4th when necessary. It helped with grade school arithmetic skills a lot. Now I haven’t played for 50 years or more but I still remember the rules, the counting, etc. Thanks for the trip, Mo.

    • Q Continuum

      Bridge is the only worthy card game. I have spoken.

      • UnCivilServant

        does anyone play that? Or even know how to?

      • Q Continuum

        Yes and yes. Learn it and gain powers you can’t even imagine.

      • UnCivilServant

        The ability to know how to play a game you’ll never have a group to play with?

      • robc

        Pick a night of the week. I can almost guarantee there is a local bridge club meeting on that night. About 15 years ago I would have got into regularly if I had had a regular partner.

      • robc

        Also yes.

        I never joined the ACBL, but I had a few tournament points earned if I had wanted to pay the money to make them official.

      • Fourscore

        Mostly replaced (after a 20 year hiatus) by the Dollar Store. Boy, Sean, I haven’t seen that sign for many, many years. Anything actually 5 & 10 any more?

      • Sean

        I’ll have to explore when the lock down ends.

      • l0b0t

        When I was a wee nipper, Eagle Army Navy was my favorite store on Earth.

      • l0b0t

        By our old Brooklyn apartment, there was a wee shop with a hand lettered sign proclaiming it the

        T’abo M’beki Everything $0.99 Or More Or Less Store

        It was a tiny, single-wide storefront but packed like a TARDIS. You could get anything from cast iron skillets to shower curtains to those giant blue plastic barrels for shipping overseas. Now it’s just another fucking Duane Reade/Walgreens.

    • Mojeaux

      Mornin’, Fourscore!

      We had TG&Y (ours was a few blocks’ walk from my house), occasionally Katz (not that particular store) (you should see it now; it’d make you cry), and rarely Ben Franklin.

    • Tundra

      We had it. Did you fill the pool with water?

    • juris imprudent

      There was a life-size version of that one year at Burning Man. It was epic.

      • UnCivilServant

        That’s not life size. Life size would be scaled for mice, that’s upscaled to human-compatable size.

      • juris imprudent

        Oh, so like mouse-sized bathtub and bowling ball? I think not.

  11. The Late P Brooks

    Today, in RACISMS hypersensitive douchebags

    N)Health and Human Services Secretary Alex Azar on Sunday suggested that the underlying health conditions of Americans, in particular in minority communities, contributed significantly to the death toll from the coronavirus.

    “Unfortunately the American population is a very diverse … It is a population with significant unhealthy comorbidities that do make many individuals in our communities, in particular African American, minority communities particularly at risk here because of significant underlying disease health disparities and disease comorbidities — and that is an unfortunate legacy in our health care system that we certainly do need to address,” he told CNN’s Jake Tapper on “State of the Union.”
    When Tapper pushed back, asking Azar if he was implying the reason so many Americans had died from Covid-19 was because they were “unhealthier than the rest of the world,” Azar said no, that wasn’t what he meant.

    ——-

    When Tapper asked Azar if he meant to suggest that the death toll from coronavirus was the fault of the American people, Azar explained “this is not about fault.”

    “Oh, no, Jake, please, please don’t — please don’t distort — no, this is not about fault. It’s about simple — simple epidemiology and stating that, if we have hypertension, if we have diabetes, we present with greater risk of severe complications from corona — from this coronavirus,” Azar responded. “That’s — that’s all I was saying. And you know that,” he said.
    Azar continued, saying, “This is not — one doesn’t blame an individual for their health conditions. That would be — that — that — that would be absurd. It’s simply a statement that — that we do have greater risk profiles here in the United States.”

    Trump’s Amerikkka. Blame the victim.

    • leon

      Isn’t what he’s saying the same as what the Food desert people say? Inner city kids can’t get healthy food. And we know Americans are unhealthy.

      • juris imprudent

        The desert is imposed upon them by heartless capitalism exploiting their vulnerability, asshole.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      one doesn’t blame an individual for their health conditions

      They’re not fat because of poor impulse control and/or habits, that’s not possible.

      • Fourscore

        Great hair, smoking and diversity, what’s not to like?

    • Below Sea Level Hell Centro

      “Unfortunately the American population is a very diverse …” Well that sounds a bit racist .
      “one doesn’t blame an individual for their health conditions. That would be — that — that — that would be absurd.” Seriously, go fuck yourself. Most of these health conditions are self inflicted and everyone knows it.

      • leon

        “one doesn’t blame an individual for their health conditions. ”

        Then one will never help them overcome and get healthy.

        We know it’s ok to say Americans live unhealthy. But we can’t say that a sunset live unhealthy for any reason because the only reason you’d say that it’s racism.

    • AlexinCT

      I keep asking but can’t get any of or wokesters to tell me how bad COVID was to the 52 government approved genders and if hospitals, first responders, and medical professionals gave them their due by calling them by their preferred pronouns. Cause you know, it’s wrong to microagress like the virus and these non woke medsters seem to have done trying to deal with the real world consequences instead of the lib fantasy world.

      Maybe I should have posted this under the games thread considering it is a fantasy gaming subject…

    • WTF

      If you choose to live an unhealthy lifestyle with an unhealthy diet, that is in fact the individual’s fault. It’s bizarre that it’s considered bad to notice that.

      • juris imprudent

        When you want the collective to reign supreme, you need to destroy the concept of the individual.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Westworld Season 3 seems even more apropos now. Free will is dead.

      • J. Frank Parnell

        If you choose to live an unhealthy lifestyle with an unhealthy diet, that is in fact the individual’s fault.

        Nuh uh, it’s because of food deserts created by the racist capitalist system.

        Also the kids aren’t getting enough broccoli in their school lunches.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      Unfortunately the American population is a very diverse

      Diversity is our strength, shitlord!

  12. Scruffy Nerfherder

    From your list, I had: Spirograph (still have it), Chinese Checkers, croquet, Sorry!, Operation, and See-N-Say

    Other stuff: Tiddly Winks, Brix Blox (the poor kid’s Legos), chemistry set with bunsen burners (almost burnt down the house with that one), the Game of Life, Simon, Hungry Hungry Hippos, Lite Brite, and the probably completely toxic, going to give me cancer someday Stretch Armstrong.

    • Ted S.

      We had Loc Blocs.

      • Fourscore

        Tinker toys

      • Shirley Knott

        Lincoln Logs.

      • J. Frank Parnell

        I had an erector set that demanded a blood sacrifice every time I built something with it.

      • banginglc1

        Somewhat related. When working on things, my dad always said, “it’s not a project unless you bleed a little bit.”

        I’ve found this to be very true.

      • Shirley Knott

        Mom and grandma said the same about cuts when cooking.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        How could I forget Hot Wheels and their reliably shitty race tracks?

      • gbob

        No better toy ever created.

        Nothing better than climbing on top of the roof, and creating a jump that would send Evel plummeting two stories into the bush.

      • Bobarian LMD

        The SST Racer.

        The stunt cycle was an off-shoot/copy.

      • The Other Kevin

        I got mine for Easter one year. I used to launch him down the stairs. It really was awesome.

    • Mojeaux

      I totally forgot about Lite Brite!

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        My friend’s LB caught fire once. Wrong bulb wattage?

      • Mojeaux

        Maybe? No idea.

      • Incentives Matter

        Bet you could light that sucker up somethin’ fierce with high-lux LED bulbs!

  13. Tundra

    Good morning, Mo!

    Thanks for the great memories! I think we had almost all of those things growing up. I remember some cutthroat games of Trouble with my sibs and cousins. We also played a ton of croquet at my grandparents’ house. Although we knew the rules, it always ended up being more like violent Calvinball. Good times.

    What a fun way to start the week! Why, you could say I’m on the top of the world!

    Have a great day, you weirdos!

  14. PieInTheSky

    gin rummy -never played that. we had a game called remi in Romanian but it was with tiles and some wooden supports for your tiles.

    In commiedom not that many games were available, mostly various games with a standard pack of cards. Chess rarely, mostly backgammon. Also a game with 5 dice we called yams.

    Go Fish like game for example was played with a standard deck but I can’t for the life of me remember how we called it.

  15. Shirley Knott

    Kaleidoscopes! I still love them; I’m worse than a cat with a ball of yarn when I have a good one. Endlessly fascinating.

    • C. Anacreon

      For awhile I collected high-end kaleidoscopes, some with quality wood, brass, and other materials. And a bunch of different twists on the view, including one where you blew feathers around with a squeeze ball, and another with colored mixing oils almost like fractals. Lost the bug when new options started to become redundant. Still up in our house but my wife relegated them to several shelves behind an easy chair.

    • leon

      Nothing will happen. We finally got the proof that they had no proof of Russian collusion from the beginning. Except Congressional GOP knew at the time and did nothing. They are complicit.

      • juris imprudent

        Wonder if that was part of why Trey Gowdy bailed?

      • AlexinCT

        I think the ones that where not part of the deep state machine (and anti-Trumpers) were at first unable to get anything from the weaponized bureaucracy that used the “national security” lie to hide the facts from everyone for a long time, before they were finally briefed on the game plan team blue had when it became obvious (to get Trump to order someone – anyone – to try and stop that chicanery so they could then impeach him for obstruction). Couple that with the national security implications of actually divulging some information that was classified (and that declassifying it too soon would trigger team blue’s plan to impeach), and the ones that knew, had to walk a fine line. Things are finally coming out because the long game was played (by design or pure luck) and team blue’s plan never panned out. So now, not only will we find out about the corruption that was SOP during the Obama admin years, but that even after he left the machine doubled down on more corruption to cover the criminality and to overturn an election. There was plenty of reasons to prove Obama was a criminal, and the deep state was just out of control, but the followup strategy – that “insurance policy” Strzok & Page discussed in their emails – now has all but played out, and the coverup is not just proof of how bad things were/are, but is left unpunished only if we have decided the republic is already dead and we should give up on it.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Every person who got up and said the Patriot Act was going to be weaponized and used to spy on American citizens is completely vindicated.

      And it looks like nothing else will happen.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Rand’s amendment failed by one vote. Gahhh! At least this time McCain had nothing to do with it.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        McConnell is a royal piece of shit.

    • Atanarjuat

      His name was never masked but there were a shit-ton of unmasking requests for it?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Basically, Obama et al illegally got his name from either a CIA spying operation or from one of our allies’ intelligence gathering operations, then they had everyone submit an unmasking request to the NSA for parallel reconstruction purposes.

    • AlexinCT

      McCabe testified, under oath, in congress to this being the fact. They had one or more of our 5 Eyes partners AND the NSA listening in to Flynn. And don’t buy the bullshit about them listening to Kysliak all the time and that is how they found Flynn. Flynn was set up by Obama. They waited until they KNEW he was in the Dominica Republic on vacation to pull that fake Russians interfered with our election cap trap where they declared Russian intel people persona non grata and threw them out expecting Kysliak to reach out to him. The plan was to then ambush him – why Strzok & Pientka then asked him to talk to them without any counsel present – and force him to turn on Trump when they nailed him on lying. Unfortunately for them, Flynn never lied during the interview and the original 302 had to be “rewritten” to make that claim (order from Comey whom got it from Obama) before they could railroad the guy.

      Flynn knows where all the bodies from the Obama administration’s weaponized bureaucracy were and he was going to not just hurt 8 years of Obama setting up a politicized machine, but expose the corruption and criminality of the Obama administration, so they targeted him to get Trump to react (and then go to phase #2 which would be to soft coup him under the guise of him obstructing them in their madeup case). It didn’t work. Now they are desperate to run the clock out in the hope Biden (or whomever they replace him with) can help the corrupt deep state hide the truth and save the left’s narrative of the transparent & scandal free Black Jeebus administration which actually was the least transparent and most corrupt one I can recall in my lifetime (and possible in our country’s history).

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        This is why I’m voting for Trump in November. No other reason.

        If Trump doesn’t win, kiss all hope for rule of law goodbye.

        There’s no guarantee even if he does win, but if he doesn’t, it’s done.

      • Atanarjuat

        I’m voting Trump because the Deep State doesn’t get to exercise a veto when we vote for who they don’t like. (They obviously believe they do.)

        Normally I vote LP but I won’t hold my breath and vote for another shitty Johnson/Weld. If there is a Hornberger or McAfee on the ballot, that’s a different story.

      • straffinrun

        Hornberger, Kokesh, and maybe that Monds guy. Thumbs up. Jorgenson…maybe(Cato Libertarian type). Judge Gray? No.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        What’s wrong with Gray besides Johnson ’12? Don’t know much about him besides OC and pro-legalization.

      • Tundra

        ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

        From TOS.

        Many Libertarians are annoyed with the L.P. nominating former Republicans who are afraid of spooking the horses with Libertarian radicalism. (Gray himself switched to the L.P. after the Patriot Act passed because he “could not as a matter of conscience be part of a party [the Republicans] that made such a direct frontal attack on our civil liberties.”)

        Yup.

        While other L.P. presidential candidates may be “well-meaning, good people,” Gray says, they don’t all have the kind of professional “background that will galvanize the country into thinking they could be president of the United States.” Someone with the real-world political experience of a Chafee or at least a Gray is a better choice for the L.P. than a Party-only celebrity.

        Gray is also not afraid to say that he doesn’t think near-anarchistic anti-state ferocity is what the L.P. needs. He knows many in the party see him as a moderate squish, but “I am me. I am an incrementalist and a pragmatist” in his policy recommendations toward greater freedom.

        Nope.

        Protests votes mean nothing. Win hearts and minds, bitch.

      • leon

        “I am me. I am an incrementalist and a pragmatist”

        Read “I don’t have convictions”. Being “pragmatic” only matters when you have power to effect change in your favored direction. You should be willing to engage people from where they are coming from, but never be afraid to state what your real beliefs are if asked.

      • straffinrun

        His answer to everything in the debates was, “Well, we’ll audit that”. Ummm, OK. Do we really need to audit the department of education? Just cut it.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        This is the only thing that gives me pause about my plan to not vote. Trump, the president, doesn’t get me out of my recliner on election day. Trump being the target of every unconstitutional fedgov program gets me frothing mad.

        Do I vote to punish the political party that crossed more than one line in weaponizing the fourth branch of government, or do I stick to voting only when a candidate excites me enough to get me off my couch?

        So far, I’m still in the latter mentality. You don’t fix coups with ballots. You fix them with lead.

      • invisible finger

        I don’t even think Black Jeebus masterminded any of this, I think the bureaucracy longed for the day they could be weaponized and Obama was gullible enough to go along with every one of their asinine suggestions.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It’s possible, but Obama is a Chicago machine politician. I think the bureaucracy was completely ready for it and all it took was a willing leader.

        This was a scandal twenty-five years in the making.

      • AlexinCT

        It’s possible, but Obama is a Chicago machine politician. I think the bureaucracy was completely ready for it and all it took was a willing leader.

        ^^^^DOUBLE THIS^^^^

      • banginglc1

        I think Obama knew and was fine with it. However, I don’t think he led or ran the operation. I think he was a lazy man who was fine with what was happening, but didn’t want to put in any actual effort . . . into anything.

      • invisible finger

        Whether he was the leader or easily led, either way he’s the one who has the responsibility, a la Enron.

      • Plisade

        I’m not so sure he’s gullible, just ambitious but lazy. He strikes me more as the type whose ego is satisfied by playing the big man, by having grand schemes run by him so he can nod his royal approval and fool himself into believing he’s the mastermind, maybe adding some insignificant tweaks to the plan so he can put his name in the credits.

    • Drake

      Dan Bongino thinks it was a set up from the start – via Bracken:

      Bongino posited a fascinating possibility about the Flynn-Kislyak phone call on his podcast last Friday. It smacks of a set-piece intel op by Brennan/Strzok et al. Flynn was on a much-needed vacation in the Dom Rep following the constant stress of the campaign. This was well known to the black hats surveilling Flynn. So this is when they announced that 30+ Russians were being PNG’d (persona non grata) and sent home, and 2 Russian consular facilities were being closed down.

      Doing this while Flynn was out of the country meant
      1. The CIA was free to monitor Flynn, he was out of the USA.
      2. Kislyak was sure to call Flynn, the incoming Nat’l Security Advisor to ask him “WTF, Mike?” about 30+ Russians being PNG’d and the consular facilities being closed down just weeks before Trump takes over.

      Easy peasy lemon squeezy, like a fast break layup in B-ball. Piece of cake. Total setup, easy day.

      https://soundcloud.com/dan-bongino

  16. Nephilium

    Sorry to go off topic so early, but according to reports, Zardoz is landing on Hulu June 1st.

    That is all.

    • Mojeaux

      It’s been on Amazon Prime forever. I have it on my watchlist and have been skeert to click that button.

      • Nephilium

        Yeah, you can rent it/buy it on Amazon Prime, but if you’ve got a Hulu subscription, you’ll be able to watch Zardoz for no extra charge.

  17. Gender Traitor

    PIT IS THE MOST AWESOMEST GAME EVER!!! That was a favorite of my two sisters, our might-as-well-have-been-another-sister neighbor, and me. That and marathon Monopoly games that went on for days – or until a cat came along overnight and did a Hurricane Cat-rina (without actual liquid, thank goodness!) on the board. And Authors. (This one looks very like the one we had. My grandfather had an even older deck.)

    Had Spirograph and also Lite-Brite. Had Clackers, which were probably as dangerous as Jarts.

    A few years ago, one of my sisters absolutely made my Christmas by giving me Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots, which we weren’t allowed to have when we were kids. I love her best!

    • Mojeaux

      Monopoly.

      *sigh*

      No one to play with, no one to teach me the rules, just an intriguing box sitting there with intriguing parts.

      • Gender Traitor

        Your brother was the wrong age?

      • Mojeaux

        My next youngest brother is 6 years younger than I, and my youngest is 8 years younger than I. I was essentially, according to birth order theory, an only child, which explains a few things.

        I was young/old enough to demonstrate what happens when you cross dad so my brothers watched and learned.

      • Nephilium

        Don’t worry, almost no one follows the written rules for Monopoly anyways. No, you aren’t supposed to pile up fines and other spent money in the middle of the board. Free Parking doesn’t give you anything. You need to have all of the properties of a color before you build houses on them. If you land on an unpurchased property, and don’t buy it, it goes up for auction.

      • straffinrun

        I was with you until that last rule. I know it’s an official rule, but it sucks.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Is that a Karentino?

      • straffinrun

        Stupid, but yeah.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        It shaves a ton of time off the game. I have played both ways, and kinda prefer the auction way, if only because it turns a 4 hour game into a 2 hour game

      • straffinrun

        True, but it misses the point. Someone gets an “opportunity” in life and they can seize on it or pass.

      • leon

        My favorite was to divvy out all properties at the beginning and to sell and trade between. Really sped things up. Got to the fighting almost instantaneously.

      • Fatty Bolger

        I think that’s one of the alternate play methods included in the instructions.

      • invisible finger

        It’s the most important rule in the game. That’s why the alternate rule is to pass out 4 deeds per player (which they have to pay for) at the start, then the auctions make a lot more sense.

      • Mojeaux

        So, my husband loves Monopoly and collects sets (sort of). He plays by the rules.

        Our first Christmas together I got him a nice set and we played. Sort of. He understood the game and I didn’t (first time really PLAYING it) and he creamed me. I cried–not because I lost but because I WAS lost. He explained the rules and tried to help me through another game, but I lost that one too. It was awful. We’ve never played since.

      • invisible finger

        Also, no more houses than come with the game. Also, a hotel costs 4 houses plus money, not the dollar equivalent of 4 houses plus money. This makes Baltic and Mediterranean advantageous in that you can cheaply reduce the supply of houses.

      • Fourscore

        Hmmm, never thought of it that way, great strategy but could come back to haunt you, too.

      • invisible finger

        It mostly hurts you on the tax assessment cards. If you can get the 5 cheap properties, 4 houses on each means there are only 12 houses left.

  18. wdalasio

    Sorry to go OT, BU5 does anyone know where I can find time series data on new Coronavirus cases by state? I ask because, when I look at the charts, there looks to be a pretty clear cyclical nature to the daily data. I think the cycle is weekly and ties to hospital staffing and admission policies (those of you in healthcare could probably shed additional light on this), but I’d need the data to get a better sense of it.

    The reason it’s significant is that a number of “enlightened, data-following” blue state governors have set a standard of a specific number of days with fewer new cases as a criteria for opening back up. If the cycle I think there’s is is present in the data, that’s a recipe for never meeting the test and leaving lockdowns in place indefinitely.

      • Q Continuum

        So what I’m seeing here is that MUH CURV FLATUND over a month ago, yet this absurdity continues. I suppose we won’t be permitted to have normal lives until the first Wednesday of November.

      • AlmightyJB

        And reporters are still going with THE DEATHS CONTINUE TO CLIMB instead of the daily numbers have been dropping for 3 weeks. F’n assholes.

      • invisible finger

        The hospitalizations are greatest in Indiana the last few week. There has to be some economic incentive going on.

      • wdalasio

        That’s helpful. But I’m looking for the raw data to tie day of the week to it.

      • invisible finger

        Hover on any point on any line.

        I understand why you think weekly makes more sense than daily, Because it does – that’s why actuaries use weekly data and not daily data.

    • Count Potato

      That there is close to a plateau with a linear scale means those numbers are bullshit.

  19. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

    OMG, half of those toys are in boxes at my grandparents’ house! The croquet set, that vintage of sorry, the see n say, that exact Chinese checkers board, pit. Tons of memories flooding back of good times at grandma and grandpa’s! Thanks for the MOnday MOrning MOstalgia!

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Lol, yes! I was up there last weekend. First time in 5 years or so that I visited their place. Unfortunately all the cool 60s and 70s toys were packed up because they were fixing some water issues in the basement.

    • Mojeaux

      You’re welcome!

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Nobody’s fault. Shit happens.

    New York Governor Andrew Cuomo on Sunday addressed the state’s early response to the coronavirus outbreak and said “nobody” should be prosecuted for the those who died, noting that “older people” were most vulnerable. The governor has been criticized for a decision in March, which has since been reversed, to send patients back to nursing homes after they tested positive for COVID-19.

    More than 4,800 people died from COVID-19 in nursing homes in the state between March 1 and May 1, according to a tally released by the Cuomo administration on May 1. Cuomo has called nursing homes a “feeding frenzy” for the coronavirus.

    “Despite whatever you do, because with all our progress as a society, we can’t keep everyone alive,” Cuomo said.

    The number of deaths in New York state dropped again Saturday to 139 people. When asked about the nursing home deaths, Cuomo noted the 139 people who died on Saturday and asked who is accountable for everyone who died.

    “How do we get justice for those families of those 139 deaths?” Cuomo said. “Who can we prosecute for those 139 deaths? Nobody. Mother Nature, God, where did this virus come from? People are going to die by this virus, that is the truth.”

    The ultimate in qualified immunity.

    • Ted S.

      “Despite whatever you do, because with all our progress as a society, we can’t keep everyone alive,” Cuomo said.

      And yet you locked down the state because you said your widdle mommy wasn’t expendable.

      • leon

        Yup. When you say “one death is too much” you are implicitly saying you have the power to stop any death, and that is a fools Gambit.

    • Drake

      “Hey, pay no attention to all those nursing home deaths (that Cuomo caused by forcing them to accept actively sick Covid patients). Who could have known the consequences (besides anyone who thought about it for 5 seconds)?

    • Brawndo

      “lol everyone dies you dummy, why are you so mad that grandma died after I put infected people in her nursing home”

  21. RAHeinlein

    I had the Fisher-Price – favorite records: Mr Postman (Carpenters – not Marvellettes), Senator Bobby version of Wild Thing (I wish I had that now), Peter and the Wolf.

    • AlmightyJB

      Why are there pictures?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Yup, typical nudists.

      Nigel, 59, and Rachel Seymour, 30, met on a naturist holiday in 2017, and following a whirlwind romance the couple got engaged six months later.

      You know who else had a plan for Nigel?

      • KSuellington

        I like the Primus cover of that tune a lot.

      • Apples and Knives

        We?

    • Agent Cooper

      Those are some long tits for 30. Imagine at 60.

  22. AlmightyJB

    Loved my Big Wheel:) I always thought Jarts was a great game for kids! I have a croquet set hanging in my garage, thanks for reminding me! I’ll brake it out Saturday when the fam comes for a cookout. I need some good jokes if my daughter wears a mask to the party. Family friendly only please.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I think I had my Big Wheel for about three days before I took the seat off and threw it into the bonfire dad had built in the backyard.

      Dad: “Why the fuck did you do that?”

      Me: “I wanted to see if it would burn.”

      /budding pyromaniac

    • Overt

      My family never had the bigwheel, but several of my friends did. Why in the world did every one of the wheels have a dent in it? If you weren’t going fast, it would lodge there and you’d be stuck.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        There was always that kid down the street that had a Green Machine that you so desperately wanted.

      • Timeloose

        The rear E-brake on the right side allowed you to do skid spins, so the right wheel always get a flat spot followed by the edges wearing down to generate the break through. Eventually you got a blowout.

        We creative kids filled the old busted wheels with concrete to make a seam roller wheel. We filled alot of stiff with concrete. Yellow wiffle ball bats, soda bottles, its amazing that I don’t have a piece of skull missing.

      • banginglc1

        I always wore out the front plastic wheel by doing skids. It would have flat spot and holes, while the rear wheels would remain in superb condition.

      • Overt

        I think ours came from every single kid getting a good clip on the road then steering it into a curb.

    • Rhywun

      Loved my Big Wheel:)

      I had the Green Machine.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        ^^^confirmed member of the 1%^^^

      • Rhywun

        *hides the Electronic Battleship*

      • AlexinCT

        I loved this game

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        My buddy had that. We played the hell out of it but it was a serious battery eater.

      • Nephilium

        It was recently reprinted as well as Fireball Island.

      • AlexinCT

        Yeah, after working for 3 months to get enough money to pay for it (it was NOT cheap), I told my buddies that loved it that they would be responsible for batteries, cause I couldn’t afford the D cells being replaced every 3 or 4 days of use…

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        *must resist*

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Bridge is the only worthy card game. I have spoken.

    Give it up, man. Buffet and Gates aren’t going to call and ask you to sit in.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    No Etch-a-Sketch?

    • UnCivilServant

      She used it to write up and post the article.

  25. gbob

    Believe All Women is now sexist or something.

    ‘Believe All Women’ Is a Right-Wing Trap
    How feminists got stuck answering for a canard.

    By Susan Faludi

    Joe Biden has been accused of sexual assault, and conservatives are having a field day, exultant that they’ve caught feminists in a new hypocrisy trap. A woman, with no corroboration beyond contemporaneous accounts, charges a powerful man with a decades-old crime? Hmm, doesn’t that sound mighty close to Christine Blasey Ford’s complaint against Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh? Yet this time, many liberals who’ve championed the #MeToo movement seem skeptical?

    Gotcha!

    Tim Graham, executive editor of NewsBusters: “Where is the #MeToo movement on this story? What happened to their rigid ‘Believe All Women’ boilerplate?”

    Fox News host Tucker Carlson: “the infuriating, the sickening hypocrisy of the media and the professional feminist movement. ‘Believe All Women!’ No they don’t.”

    Conservatives have been oddly immunized by their shamelessness. How do you fight, to quote W.B. Yeats, “with one/Who, were it proved he lies,/Were neither shamed in his own/Nor in his neighbours’ eyes”? The right, being averse to principle, has long known how to turn the left’s expressions of principle into Achilles’ heels. Even when it has to make up the expression.

    So, where does this leave feminists?

    • Q Continuum

      “A woman, with no corroboration beyond contemporaneous accounts, charges a powerful man with a decades-old crime? Hmm, doesn’t that sound mighty close to Christine Blasey Ford’s complaint against Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh? Yet this time, many liberals who’ve championed the #MeToo movement seem skeptical?”

      Ummmm… yeah, that’s a completely accurate assessment of the situation.

      Notice she never actually addresses the charges of hypocrisy (which are totally valid), she just says “icky conservatards are poopy heads!” It’s rhetoric of unparalleled quality.

      • JD is in the United Karendom

        Conservatives pounce! And apparently, conveniently, she can sum up the views of every single icky bad conservatard in one sweeping “they think” or “they say”, and conveniently, “they” are all one-dimensional morons with no self-awareness. The irony is astounding, but those who will blindness to it remain steadfast.

      • leon

        ^^^This

        Her argument isn’t to show that it was “Believe women” not “believe all women” (something verifiably untrue, but they have tried saying that.) It’s simply that the Republicans are being unfair and devious by using our principles against us by showing how we are hypocritical on our own self professed principles. The GOP did not make “Believe All Women” your principle.

        “How do you fight, to quote W.B. Yeats, “with one/Who, were it proved he lies,/Were neither shamed in his own/Nor in his neighbours’ eyes”? ”

        Being this ironic should be embarrassing.

    • juris imprudent

      Gotcha!

      My petard, I have been hoisted upon it!

    • leon

      “The right, being averse to principle, has long known how to turn the left’s expressions of principle into Achilles’ heels. ”

      Yes but that’s because they are just expressions, not real principles. This is not the rights fault. If the left had held Biden to the same standard that they expressed, then no one could accuse you of being hypocrites. Your Achilles heel is that you don’t actually have principles. People who actually have principles know that they make your stronger.

    • Count Potato

      OFFS!

    • J. Frank Parnell

      A woman, with no corroboration beyond contemporaneous accounts, charges a powerful man with a decades-old crime? Hmm, doesn’t that sound mighty close to Christine Blasey Ford’s complaint against Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh?

      Not at all. Ford’s case didn’t have any contemporaneous accounts providing corroboration.

      • blackjack

        I’m pretty sure Blasey/Ford had contemporaneous detractors, if I remember correctly. Lot of people saying that she acted perfectly OK and nothing strange happened.

    • JD is in the United Karendom

      Which one is Mojeaux? Too many realdolls and touchups for me. I appreciate a decent set of eyebrows, though; excellent work, #3. #59 is cute.

    • banginglc1

      I am back in the office now, so I can no longer enjoy these links in the morning.

      *sighs and goes back to staring blankly at a spreadsheet*

    • creech

      All of which goes to prove that Q’s favorite childhood game was playing “Doctor.”

    • Mojeaux

      You do not want to see my mammaries, trust me.

    • AlmightyJB

      Lol.

      • AlexinCT

        I MAKE FUCKING ROCK!

  26. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Maniacal Monday: I hAVe tHe PoWeR!!!

    Twitch.tv creates a safety advisory council and puts an insane person on it. This should end well.

    • leon

      “People should be afraid of me”

      I mean at least we are all agreeing to the fact that you are a scary person in power.

    • AlmightyJB

      She’ll enjoy your liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti.

    • Count Potato

      CWAA

  27. The Late P Brooks

    When pressed further about how some people thought their loved ones would be safe because of Matilda’s Law, Cuomo continued to stress the point that older and more vulnerable people were “always going to die from this virus.” He said when talking who is accountable for deaths, the most important thing was to make sure “you can have a situation where everyone did the right thing and everyone tried their best.”

    Asses were covered.

    • AlmightyJB

      Except when it comes to Trump

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Except when it comes to Trump

    Well, he is fully responsible. He concocted the virus in his secret underground laboratory, and then went around sticking his fingers in women’s noses to spread it.

    All while he was breeding those murder hornets in the Rose Garden.

    • Atanarjuat

      I’ve been assured that Trump is the Pussygrabber in Chief, but I suppose his hands are small enough to fit in their nostrils.

  29. Count Potato

    I am so tired of this shit.

    • PieInTheSky

      I am starting to have deja vu.

      • Count Potato

        All over again?

    • Mojeaux

      Um…what shit? Nostalgia posts hitting close to home?

      • Count Potato

        Things still shut down.

    • LemonGrenade

      #METOO. Since I fucked up and started my work day yesterday like it was Monday, I’m getting a double-Monday, to boot.

  30. Atanarjuat

    Don’t know if this is true, but these days Twitter breaks news before any traditional outfits.

    https://mobile.twitter.com/TruthAbtChina/status/1262264291509579776

    BREAKING: Political coup, Hong Kong, Monday, May 18th.

    Security guards drag several pro-democracy lawmakers from the Hong Kong legislature.

    After 9+ pro-democracy lawmakers are forcibly removed, the vote procedes. Pro-communist Starry Lee is unanimously elected as chairperson.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      We totally should trust the ChiComs.

    • JD is in the United Karendom

      Another “democratically elected government” that the US has no business criticizing or being suspicious of in any way, right?

      • JD is in the United Karendom

        Speaking of which, the lefty press here was so snarky and dismissive of that ex-Seal when he had the cojones to try dethroning their darling “democratically elected” superstar Maduro.

  31. The Late P Brooks

    The desert is imposed upon them by heartless capitalism exploiting their vulnerability, asshole.

    Despicable moneygrubbers who will do anything for a shekel except allow poor black people to give them money in exchange for nutritious food.

  32. Pope Jimbo

    Sorry is one of my family’s favorite games. (Both growing up and with my kids)

    As a kid this sketch by Carol Burnett killed me. We even found a little bell and would ring it when playing because we thought it was so funny.

    My family wore out an original version and somehow ended up with a Disney version that still gets use. More than one time it has sent kids wailing and sobbing from the room.

    • WTF

      My wife and I have been watching old Carol Burnett sketches lately. That was some hilarious shit.

  33. AlmightyJB

    No Twister?

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Right, Twister sucks.

      • Gender Traitor

        Strip Twister or GTFO.

        Or so I’ve heard.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        That’s what we’re always promised but it never happens.

      • AlmightyJB

        Gets off track after the first couple of turns:)

      • Gender Traitor

        Feature, not bug.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Too many memories of David Wallace’s taint in my face.

  34. Certified Public Asshat

    Dude Departure? What Elon Musk And Joe Rogan Have In Common

    For Elon Musk and Joe Rogan however, it has become a different, and very public question altogether – should they leave California? And the fact that they are making so much noise about it over the recent days it says more about them than about the state they reside in. In fact, as opposed to constructively contributing to the debate, Musk and Rogan’s threats of leaving their home state might be a perfect example of bullying by bro-ness.

    *snip*

    What’s interesting about both Musk and Rogan’s threats isn’t their sudden realization that California is expensive and highly regulated. Pretty much everyone in America knows that, and both men have spoken about it before. What is fascinating is that these two men are confident that their pronouncements genuinely make a difference – that merely by threatening to leave, they might somehow change the calculus of how California is managing its response to the pandemic. Rather than finding ways to see this crisis as a moment to lead, they are looking at it as a moment to leave.

    In some ways, it is the ultimate ‘go, bro, go’ move – threatening to pick up one’s marbles and walk away when the game doesn’t go your way. And while there is no doubt that there are plenty of people who agree with Musk’s and Rogan’s perspectives, what makes these two men think that there ‘jetting’ is going to influence others to do the same?

    Weird, you’d think California Utopia could be achieved with them leaving.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      In fact, as opposed to constructively contributing to the debate, Musk and Rogan’s threats of leaving their home state might be a perfect example of bullying by bro-ness.

      Not loving big brother is violence

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        If you complain when the govt crushes you you’re a prick and a bully, it is known.

    • Atanarjuat

      Celebrities who promise (and later renege) to expatriate to Canada if Republicans get elected are heroes of the resistance, however.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Have any of them actually done this? So far I count 0.

    • Count Potato

      It’s pretty easy to move a podcast studio.

    • WTF

      Jesus, what the hell happened to Forbes?

  35. Chipwooder

    Pit! Wow, I haven’t seen that one in a long time.

    For my age (born 1976) I’d definitely throw in an Etch-a-Sketch and a Speak and Spell. Everyone had those when I was a kid, especially after E.T. featured the Speak and Spell prominently. Also, Coleco football – I remember one of my uncles giving me his when I was 7 or 8 and thinking it was the coolest thing ever.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The Coleco!

      I had forgotten about how many school bus rides I spent playing that.

      • Chipwooder

        Interesting….looks like the exact same game, pretty much, but I’ve never seen that one.

        I also remember a friend of mine having one of these and me thinking it was so incredible.

      • AlmightyJB

        I had that as well.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I miss the flat table video games in the pizza parlors.

      • AlmightyJB

        Video arcades are making a comeback. Now with booze.

      • Chipwooder

        Yes! I remember those! Why was it only pizza places that had those? One of my teams used to go to Pizza Hut after Little League games, and it had one of those flat table games that was Pac Man if you sat at one end and Galaga if you sat at the other.

      • Count Potato

        They were also in bars.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        A local Round Table still had a tabletop Ms. Pac-Man within the last decade.

      • AlmightyJB

        I spent countless hours playing that. Got me through a number if long road trips:)

      • J. Frank Parnell

        I had that one too.

      • Agent Cooper

        I had both footballs, baseball and a basketball one.

    • Mojeaux

      lack of Easy-Bake Oven mention

      Too rich for our blood. Plus, my mom turned her nose up at it with an air of “If you want to bake, there’s the REAL oven.”

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      PS. Re “Jacks are fun!”, I never found that to be the case.

      • Mojeaux

        There’s a reason its original name is knucklebones.

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      Er, lack of anyone’s mention, not just yours.

      Jacks I must have tried after reading old Peanuts.

  36. hayeksplosives

    I grew up with the “Let’s Pretend” record series! Thanks for the memories.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      That’s not disturbing at all.

    • Mojeaux

      Did you click the link? Heh.

      • Annoyed Nomad

        LOL!

      • Spartacus

        Yours is better. And more punchable.

  37. straffinrun

    Nostalgic nut punch. Nice Mojo.

    I updated one of those games for 2020.

      • dontreadonme

        I don’t remember “penectomy” in my version.

    • Mojeaux

      Thanks! Glad to deliver.

      • banginglc1

        WAsn’t it Ron White who had the joke that effectively said, “we don’t care how old, floppy, or gross they are, we’ll still look”? . . . He was right.

      • banginglc1

        That was meant to be a reply to your mammary comment above.

  38. Annoyed Nomad

    Mojeaux, Wow! So many memories for me in this article. Some of the toys I had totally forgotten about. Very cool.

    • Mojeaux

      Good morning and thank you!

  39. Chipwooder

    I didn’t have that Fisher-Price record player, but I did have the Tuneyville Choo Choo

  40. CatchTheCarp

    I remember Clackers, a neighbor kid had a set. We could never get them to explode much to our disappointment.

    We used to play Jarts a lot during the summer when I was a pup.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NE6415eqzWI

    Anyone remember those small plastic airplanes that were 2″ or 3″ inches in length and launched with with a plastic rubber band powered slingshot. They were cheap, cost about a quarter and sold in small mom & pop stores. Similar to the pic below but much smaller, designed to fit easily inside a child’s eye socket.

    https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/y1IAAOSwnHZYYjTo/s-l1600.jpg

    My brother had one of these as kid… the Sonic Blaster. You could really fuck up someone’s hearing if you put the barrel up close to another kids ear.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RChtvSPoMTc

    • Mojeaux

      You aren’t a Tulpa. My bad. You just had more than 2 links in your comment.

      • CatchTheCarp

        Ahh, that’s why I got the “awaiting moderation” message….. thanks!

  41. Pope Jimbo

    Come see the violence inherent in the system!

    Minnesota Attorney General Keith Ellison brushed aside criticism from GOP lawmakers Sunday and filed suit against the owner of a chain of bars and restaurants who has vowed to reopen this week in violation of executive orders issued to slow the spread of the coronavirus.

    Ellison filed the enforcement action against Kris Schiffler, the owner of Shady’s, who operates establishments in Albany, Burtrum, Cold Spring, New Munich, Rice and St. Martin, all in or near Stearns County, which the attorney general’s office termed a COVID-19 hot spot.

    Not sure exactly how you sue someone for something they haven’t done yet. But Brother Keith has never let details like that bother him in the past.

    • invisible finger

      Pre-crime.

    • leon

      I’m gonna say…. Having the chairman of the national party also be your attorney general, just sounds…. Fantastic

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Who’s also a “former” member of the Nation of Islam.

        You guys are so lucky.

      • Pope Jimbo

        What is even more astounding is that his replacement in Congress is an even bigger joke than he was.

  42. Mojeaux

    I didn’t include Etch-a-Sketch because I didn’t have one. My great grandmother did and I found it underwhelming. I’d rather sit in a red-magenta velveteen chair with hand-crocheted antimacassars daydreaming than play with it.

    I did not have a Simon, probably because it made lots of noise.

    There were a lot of things I didn’t include because I am lazy and didn’t want to edit any more pictures.

    I had a Big Wheel. I had one of these.

    Going off track a bit, I had this . Usually my Christmas present was another piece of the furniture set. I did not have the canopy, hutch, or bench dresser. I had the trundle bed version. To this day, the idea that there is a massive blank storage space under a bed is foreign (I have a captain’s bed).

    • Mojeaux

      Fuck a duck.

      I had this bedroom set.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Aaaa! Me too, or something similar anyway. French Provincial via Sears.

      • Mojeaux

        Exact same! French provincial via Sears.

        So when I was 16 or thereabouts I earned money typing for my dad. I had a kitchen chair at my desk and an old manual typewriter that was fucking heavy to lift. I loved that typewriter. Mom and Dad got me a new slim electric one before I went to college, but almost never used it. That was 1986 and the professors wanted our papers done on the computer. Brand new IBMs 8086s, DOS, WordPerfect.

    • straffinrun

      If etch a sketch had a button to release the “pen” so you could move without drawing, it would’ve been much more fun.

    • Chipwooder

      The Etch-a-Sketch was a little unusual in that I played with it obsessively but was never happy with how it turned out. I could never draw curves worth a damn with that thing. My dad’s brother was like the Rembrandt of the Etch-a-Sketch, though. When he visited us, he would make the most incredible pictures on it. I remember once he drew a perfect depiction of his car at the time, a VW dasher.

      I had a big wheel that had a lion’s face on the front and had a button you could push to hear a lion roaring.

  43. Mojeaux

    I did not expect this to drop this morning, but considering everything going on, I’m glad I could help a little. Thanks, SP!

    Banjos and Sloopy, my condolences again.

    • SP

      Sorry for the lack of notice, but I decided very late to drop it in when I just didn’t have time to write a regular morning links post and everyone else among TPTB was already asleep!

      It’s a super fun post, Mojeaux. Thank you!

      • Mojeaux

        I’m just glad I have a place I can do stupid stuff like this where it’ll get read (as opposed to my own blog, for which I would have to keep generating content and I had my fill of that long ago). Thank you for providing it!

  44. LJW

    Speaking of vintage toys and such. My dad had massive baseball card collection, which for some reason he left behind at my grandparents after moving out. A handyman my grandma hired for some minor work found the cards and asked if he could take the cards in place of payment. My dad believed the collection could have been valued in the thousands.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Derp

      Dad gave away my signed Powell-Peralta skateboard when I went off to college.

    • Chipwooder

      If he had sold it in the ’90s, before the trading card market collapsed, it could have been worth some huge money.

      • LJW

        Yup that’s when he discovered they were missing. He was going to give them to me.

      • Chipwooder

        I remember my aunt’s then-husband being a big card collector who spent tens of thousands of dollars on them at that time. After a few years, most of his cards were worth pennies on the dollars that he paid for them.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Doh!

        The Antiques Roadshow clip shows where they display the current markets, complete with SFX, are educational.

  45. Pope Jimbo

    Uffda. Girl Scouts cancel all day and overnight camps this summer.

    Girl Scout councils covering most of Minnesota have canceled their overnight and day camps through August, amid concerns about whether they could operate safely during the coronavirus pandemic.

    “Making the decision to cancel camp was honestly one of the hardest things I’ve done in the 26 years I’ve worked at Girl Scouts, because girls in the out-of-doors is core to what we believe in,” said Leigh Ann Davis, CEO for the Lakes and Pines council.

    Young kids, outdoors, summer. Could one of the I LOVE SCIENCE types explain to these goofballs that these camps are about as safe an activity as you can get? Unless the camp counselors are old coots from a local retirement home, I would bet big money that no one would die or be seriously hurt by CV at these camps. And I keep reading more and more that kids are less infectious than adults, so the idea that these kids will come home and give it to gramma is a discredited theory that keeps on going.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      We’ve already lost the fight. 2020 is a lost year. The sheep and ‘follow the science’ morons won.

    • leon

      Why are you blaspheming the name of science? You should prostrate yourself before her fearsome microscope and beg for forgiveness!

    • pistoffnick

      My daughter’s Y camp shut down for the summer. Back when I worked there, a summer without income would have put them out of business.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      “The whole concept of being out-of-doors is actually being out-of-doors,” said Davis. “We’re looking at some of the basic concepts that kids expect to see at camp. So, an opening ceremony. A flag ceremony. They want to know that there’s a campfire. They want to sing songs. So we’re going to make sure that some of those really core components are also available for these virtual experiences.”

      Davis said parents will receive an email beforehand with a list of household supplies that can be used for the activities. The River Valley council plans to send out a kit to campers containing supplies for activities.

      Thorson said they’ve been mindful of “digital fatigue” in designing the camps. “The virtual component is to create the in-person contact and to have access to our professional staff of camp counselors,” Thorson said. “They can teach them skills; they can do some group activities with the girls, but then they do close the computer and go outside in the backyard and do non-digital activities, because we really think that’s what parents and their families are going to be looking for.”

      Both leaders said they hope the new format, born out of necessity, will still be an opportunity to draw in new scouts and connect more girls with a camp experience, even if–for now– they stay in or near their own homes to do it.”

      Unbelievable. Now all the rage is virtual this, Zoom that.

      HOW THE HECK IS THIS LIVING?

      I wouldn’t even bother with that ‘we want to maintain the experience’ nonsense.

      Camping and kids. Two things where the virus would likely not hit. UnREAL how we’re led by complete clowns.

      You should see what they’re forcing soccer teams for kids to do.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        *chuckle*

      • Pope Jimbo

        Half the point of screwing around in the outdoors is learning what not to attempt again. Especially if you are blessed with a total lack of parental supervision.

        How can you learn crap like the importance of pitching your tent on high ground via zoom? You only learn that after the first time you have to move your tent out of the lake it is in while it is still raining and then sit there cold and wet for a night.

        Half the fun of camping is living through all the disasters that befall you. And how do the little virtual campers come to appreciate the awesomeness of indoor plumbing if they never have to venture out into the woods?

      • Rufus the Monocled

        i’m classic person where theory is completely useless to me. I only learned in and with practice.

        You can watch all the videos you want and play it in your head but life isn’t a fricken teleconferencing experience.

        Life IS reality.

        Fucken morons. I’ve been swearing a lot lately because I just can’t believe how many stupid people are in positions of power.

        And I don’t mean stupid in the sense of not knowing their jobs. I mean just plain stupid when things like this occur and how quick they turn into mindless, blind sheep.

        “But….contagion…..old people…..must self-isolate…..bake cake……watch Netflix…..because save lives…..”

        Yuk.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Are you trying to tell me that Call of Duty won’t actually teach you how to shoot?

        My sons both were pretty humbled when they started shooting and realized how different real life marksmanship is compared to their video games. Which made them openly scoff at adults later in life who tried telling them that video games were training school shooters.

      • Shirley Knott

        The world is run by C students.
        It has never been easier to get a C grade.

    • Overt

      I am not endorsing this choice because there is ALMOST ZERO RISK TO KIDS!!!! However, there is scientific precedent here. Back during the 2009 Swine Flu pandemic, summer camps were some of the ONLY programs that were actually shut down. The swine flu got into a….maybe Multiple Sclerosis? Or some other disabled kids’ camp and killed a bunch of kids and they shut the whole thing down.

      If you wanted a good way to generate herd immunity, you SHOULD be sending every kid to camp for 2 – 3 weeks. Put people testing positive for antibodies in charge, and let the kids get all immune before heading back home.

      I still insist that one of the critical mistakes we made was letting all these healthy college students spend a couple weeks together, then sending them back home to infect their parents.

      • Pope Jimbo

        If CV was a danger to kids, I’d totes understand them being super cautious about summer camps. What makes me see red it that the more we’ve learned about this virus the more we should know that summer camps are absolutely fine.

        Kids not only seem to be resistant to the virus, but they also seem to have a harder time catching it or transmitting it than older people. It is outdoors which is way better than being couped up inside. Almost no cases have been confirmed to have been transmitted outdoors. Counselors are all poor young people who need to make a buck but don’t have the guts (or looks) to become a sex worker (hat tip to PO Nick).

        But the crazy things we were told at the beginning of all of this keep sticking in peoples’ minds and they won’t actually adapt to the data/science.

    • Count Potato

      That’s retarded. Anything with kids should not be cancelled.

    • The Last American Hero

      They cancelled our Boy Scouts summer camp, although that was a decision forced on the camp by the state. Essentially the state couldn’t guarantee everyone wouldn’t need to be six feet apart and wearing masks for an entire week so the camp’s hands were tied.

  46. Rufus the Monocled

    Clowns terrify me.

    Be it in costume or in suits.

    • bacon-magic

      Muppets are mini clowns.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Dude….

        Don’t ruin Sam the Eagle for me.

    • AlexinCT

      KRUSTY!

  47. The Late P Brooks

    Gimme some money, Dad

    New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio has claimed that his city requires $7.5 billion in federal aid to get back on track after being crippled by the coronavirus pandemic that has killed thousands of residents and shut down much of the city’s economy.

    Right.

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      Trump To BDB: Drop Dead

      (Would be hilarious if so, but as the prez is a NYer, I dunno.)

    • WTF

      The coronavirus didn’t shut down a single bit of the economy, the government did.

  48. DrOtto

    My sister had a Montgomery Ward record player similar to the Fisher Price. We used to get a laugh out of listening to “The Tale of the Owl and the Pussycat” on it because about the time the owl would serenade the pussycat, there was a skip. So it would go “Oooohhh, pussy, pussy, pussy”

  49. pistoffnick

    “Does anybody actually know how to play croquet? There were balls and mallets. WHACK! That’s all I needed.”

    We had some epic croquet games when I worked at summer camp. Starting and ending wickets were at the end of the dock. The rest of the course was 1/4 mile long. I wore steel toed boots so that when I sent someone, I could give them a good whack without taking off any toes. I got sent to the swamp once. It took me 4 turns in waist deep water to get back on the field.

    The championship game was in the horse pasture by car headlights. Hazards were gopher holes, horses, and horse apples.

    • Mojeaux

      Horse apples! We called those hedgeballs.

    • dontreadonme

      That’s how we played. Sent someone’s ball into the pool once. That was fun to watch.

  50. Mojeaux

    We have a new Tulpa in pending! *squeeeeeeeeeeeeee*

  51. AlexinCT

    Obama weaponizes bureaucracy, hilarity ensues. Like with an iceberg and the waterline, the criminality of the Obama administration that we are now getting to see is just a fraction of how big it really is…

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      By March 2016, the whistleblower said she and a colleague, who was detailed to Treasury from the intelligence community, became convinced that the surveillance of Flynn was not tied to legitimate criminal or national security concerns, but was straight-up political surveillance among other illegal activity occurring at Treasury.

      “When I showed it to her, what she said, ‘Oh, sh%t!’ and I knew right then and there that I was right – this was some shady stuff,” the whistleblower said.

      Flynn definitely knows something. I hope they’re able to stomp on Sullivan and get his gag order lifted soon.

      • AlexinCT

        Flynn was removed by Obama for resisting the criminality he saw Obama ask for. Flynn was one of the first to warn about Obama weaponizing the bureaucracy and politicizing it (see the recently revealed fact that Brennan hid intel that proved the Russians wanted Hilary to win so the Obama admin could pretend Trump was their stooge), pointing out the sham and horrible Iran deal, and in general, how team blue made big money selling away US national security then hiding it under the national security lie. And he knew that Clinton and Obama should have been charged for that email server in Clinton’s bathroom closet too, but that Obama struck a deal and told the DOJ to let her walk. Flynn was Kryptonite to the dream/narrative of preserving the fantasy of a transparent & scandal free fairy tale the left wanted to peddle about our first black president and his historically destructive behavior.

  52. The Late P Brooks

    No love for Scrabble? I wish I had somebody to play with. Boo hoo.

    Question for the masses:

    Anybody have experience/suggestions re: selling books (on line or otherwise)? It’s time for my book collection to move on. In theory, many of them should be more valuable than thrift store prices.

    • Mojeaux

      I use eBay and ALWAYS the auction feature because I never know what something’s worth. I had a cross-stitch pattern go for north of $400 once. That was just ONE of the collection I had.

      You could probably try Etsy, but you have to set a price, or get a merchant account at Amazon, but again, you have to set the price.

      • UnCivilServant

        I won’t buy from an auction on eBay because of sniping.

        I think I’ve come up with a solution to that – if they made it so that any bid within the last X hours of an auction will extend the close of the auction to X hours after that bid, it would eliminate sniping and allow the people who’ve been outbid to present a counter offer.

      • UnCivilServant

        I would rather have that than find out someone swooped in two seconds before close… again… like every other time

      • leon

        If you’re not going to watch the Auction, why don’t you bid the maximum you are willing to pay and then be happy if someone swoops in?

      • UnCivilServant

        If you can decide if you’re going to rebid, and get that bid in within the half second available after the sniper hits, good on you. Otherwise you just watch it go from “Winning” to “Outbid and closed” in two seconds.

        And it’s the prinicple of the thing. All bids should be subject to counter offer in an auction.

      • Mojeaux

        I find I don’t need anything from eBay so much that a) I would have to deal with snipers at all or b) I couldn’t bear to lose to a sniper.

        I have run up a bid on somebody just to be a dick, but I stopped when I was past my comfort zone.

    • pistoffnick

      I am addicted to a game on my phone called WordScapes. It’s sortof like solo Scrabble.

      You can play with yourself! ;^)

      • Drake

        I play a level or two of that most nights to try to keep my mind functioning.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Nobody in my family wants to play Scrabble with me. I don’t ever throw games.

      You want to win? GIT GUD

    • Mojeaux

      No Scrabble for me. I’m not wired for it. Husband is.

      He plays Words with Friends with my writer friends.

    • invisible finger

      Donate to the library, use the “value” as a tax deduction?

      I am in the same boat as you, but I don’t have the time to sell individually.

      • Mojeaux

        Donate to the library, use the “value” as a tax deduction?

        No. The library will see “old” and throw them out, and you might have to justify to the IRS why you took such a big deduction. Furthermore, the standard deduction is more than most people will ever be able to come up with by itemizing.

        If the collection is truly that old and valuable, it is absolutely worth the work.

      • invisible finger

        I know my collection isn’t worth the work, the books weren’t purchased as collector pieces. A few of limited run are worth the effort, but the other 95% are going in the used market for $8 or less retail, and that is after a 8-10x markup. I check Half Price Books online, they have a pretty extensive database – anything they sell for over $10 I hang onto, anything under I then check my library system to see if they have more than 2 copies – if they do then I offload them onto a used retailer otherwise I consider donating. I was going through about 20 books a month until the holidays when the libraries typically halt donations; they were going to accept donations again in February except the plague halted it all.

        And that is the book-sized stuff. The pocket-sized stuff is another animal – the science fiction books of that size have more demand than other genres.

      • The Last American Hero

        Half.Price.Books.

        Yes, you won’t get fair value, but you will get a fuckton of store credit to buy.more.books.

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      What sort of books? Any used (and open) booksellers in your area? For latter you could show them photos of spines, to avoid unnecessary schlepping.

    • Shirley Knott

      I’ve had pretty decent success selling on Amazon. It’s a money-loser to price anything below $5 or $6 given their fees and absurdly low shipping ‘reimbursement’. Big/heavy volumes can kill you on shipping, up the price to factor that in. (Books being sold under $5 seem to be ‘keep the packing and shipping folks busy, we’re paying them anyway’ or a way to generate business losses to offset something else.)
      Desirability of the titles matters a lot. It takes time for things to sell, but what the heck. Periodically go through your listings to check price — big sellers use automated tools to undercut price, which sometimes shifts the whole range.
      But it’s pretty easy and has pretty low overhead in terms of involvement, in my experience.

    • Fourscore

      I sold books (retail) for a living, bought many, many thousands used through the door.

      Generally speaking used books wholesale (to a dealer/bookstore) will not generate big bucks. Collectibles need to be sold at auction (Ebay?).

      If you have a company named Half Price Books nearby (that’s the one I worked for) they will buy your stuff but expect a wholesale (low) offer.

      You are in MT? Try a local used book store, be prepared to be disappointed.

    • Rhywun

      Yep, Scrabble was big in our house. We even had the Official Dictionary, with all the swear words and other oddities not found in the regular dictionaries.

    • PieInTheSky

      Go to that pawn shop in that tv show

  53. CatchTheCarp

    Played a lot of Mille Bornes as kid. My best friend growing up was originally from Minnesota, he taught me how to play the best two handed card game ever invented – cribbage. Still love that game but finding people that know how to play is next to impossible.

  54. The Late P Brooks

    Donate to the library, use the “value” as a tax deduction?

    I need money.

    Also- I had a rather -ahem- unsatisfying experience with Ebay/paypal in a previous life. I will never do business with/through them. Ever. I’ll burn everything, first.

  55. UnCivilServant

    Does anyone know a sandwich or panini press that is not made in China that is also not over a grand? I found two models that were made in the usa, but were $1,300.

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      Secondhand resto supply auctions?

    • leon

      Why are you trying to cheat those hard working panini press makers out of their 1300?

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s a company that makes professional restaurant equipment that is overkill for my needs.

    • Nephilium

      I use two cast iron skillets to press sandwiches. As an advantage, you can use the cast iron skillets for other cooking duties.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        They’re generally all expensive.

      • UnCivilServant

        If it’s quality and going to last, 300 Euro isn’t bad.

    • Gender Traitor

      Last time I was in the market for a waffle iron (square – not the round, flipping kind) there were some where you could turn the plates over to a flat side for grilling sandwiches. That wouldn’t give you the grill marks, but might do in a pinch.

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s not so much trouble finding them, it’s trouble finding those not made in china (or which completely hide their point of origin, which is even more suspect)

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Neph gave you an answer, use a lodge (USA) cast iron pan on top of the sandwich.

      • UnCivilServant

        And what? Burn coal in the pan so I’m cooking both sides at once?

      • Tulip

        Heat the two pans separately. Then put sandwich in. Cast iron will hold heat long enough to grill the sandwich

    • The Last American Hero

      Just by a George Foreman and bury your pride.

  56. The Other Kevin

    Thanks for the big dose of nostalgia. Either I or one of my siblings had almost all of those things. I actually played Pit (in a modern box) this weekend.

    • Mojeaux

      You’re welcome!

      I find that putting these posts up is cathartic and decluttering my mind. I was able to delete pins from my nostalgia board on Pinterest after this and the last post went up.

  57. The Late P Brooks

    I think I’ve come up with a solution to that – if they made it so that any bid within the last X hours of an auction will extend the close of the auction to X hours after that bid, it would eliminate sniping and allow the people who’ve been outbid to present a counter offer.

    I have watched a couple of those bring a trailer auctions play out, and I’m pretty sure that’s what they do. It looks like the clock resets itself when a new bid comes in during the last half hour or so. It certainly makes sense.

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      I don’t know much if anything about him (soary, eh) except that his brother was basically Chris Farley, and that he obviously needs to back away from cheesecake permanently. How has he handled this?

      (Will y’all stop being so diverting? I have matinal stuff to do!)

  58. creech

    No love for model trains? I started with a Marx “O” gauge set with Santa Fe “Warbonnet” diesels and graduated to HO layout (never very elaborate).

    • Mojeaux

      I only included things I owned and played with regularly.

      Model trains weren’t part of my life. That said, I am thoroughly in love with trains in general after a narrow escape from one.

      • Mojeaux

        Yup. That was me.

      • creech

        I got to ride Heber Valley R.R. a couple years ago – nice ride along the reservoir and river (but behind their diesel, unfortunately.)

      • Mojeaux

        I think I did that ride. I was on one in Mesa Verde National Park (or thereabouts, can’t remember precisely) (Colorado somewhere). Rode trains in England (I am not riding backward facing ever again ?) (and I’m generally not motion sick) and Europe. Subways are my jam. And of course, every amusement park ever has a train running around the park. Silver Dollar City has skits (a train “holdup”).

      • Gender Traitor

        Silverton-Durango narrow gauge RR? Pretty close to Mesa Verde – we hit both on our trip out west a couple of years ago. The SD RR was my favorite part of the whole trip. Rode in the (enclosed) rear car and snapped about a bazillion photos.

      • Mojeaux

        That’s it!

  59. The Late P Brooks

    By March 2016, the whistleblower said she and a colleague, who was detailed to Treasury from the intelligence community, became convinced that the surveillance of Flynn was not tied to legitimate criminal or national security concerns, but was straight-up political surveillance among other illegal activity occurring at Treasury.

    Inconceivable!

  60. straffinrun

    Nihon Keizai shimbun ( a newspaper focusing on economic news) is coming under fire from some in the media for showing these charts daily. The curve here got flattened without any of the mandatory crap that happened in other countries. The death toll is extremely low in comparison to other high population countries. I don’t know why everyone is talking about Sweden, when it looks like Japan is coming out like a boss.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Why is it coming under fire? People in Japan are pushing for lockdowns?

      • straffinrun

        For giving people false confidence by giving them accurate numbers.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        This entire episode has been very telling of what politicians and bureaucrats think of the populace.

    • invisible finger

      It’s almost as if 40 days for a highly communicable virus has some historical validity that humans learned over the centuries.

      Nah, can’t be. 21st Century Man is much smarter in the ways of data analysis and science.

      What are the typical Japanese comorbidities?

      • straffinrun

        Not diabetes for the most part. The main one is just being really fucking old.

      • R C Dean

        40 days was pretty much the time from exposure to death from the Black Plague. “Quarantine” is from the Italian for “40 days”, which was the time Venice required ships to wait before they could dock.

    • Gustave Lytton

      I can think of a couple reasons.

      • straffinrun

        Go ahead. You actually followed it closer here than I probably did.

      • Gustave Lytton

        No particular order:

        belief/fear that the numbers are iceberg more than elsewhere (probably are due to lack of testing and difficulty of obtaining a test but the death rates aren’t there either) and as soon as it gets touted, something will happen.

        not wanting to go down into why there hasn’t been lock downs or even why it took so long for a state of emergency declaration, because rule of law would be a bit inconvenient to the must do something approach to government driven by media sensationalism.

        Japan isn’t in Europe.

        Cultural differences that might be more effective than heavy handedness. Along with a desire to return to (American) normal

      • straffinrun

        Got many acquaintances that are doctors and nurses that are telling me they are seeing very, very few cases in the hospitals and that’s in Tokyo. If they are hiding the bodies, they’re doing a really good job.

  61. Chipwooder

    I would be remiss in this discussion of the toys of yore if I didn’t mention Matchbox cars and Hot Wheels. I had hundreds of them, I think, with many cases and boxes worth. In general, I preferred Matchbox, which seems to be unusual. Even as a kid, I gravitated towards realism over fantasy – Matchbox cars were mostly accurate representations of real cars while most Hot Wheels were crazy invented designs.

    • kinnath

      Matchbox was for collecting.

      Hotwheels were for destroying by creating track layouts that couldn’t contain the cars.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        I loved those, despite being a girl. Thank God for friends’ brothers.

  62. The Late P Brooks

    Thanks, Shirley Knott.

    • Fourscore

      The three worst customers to buy books from. Students with text books, kids with comic books, old people with anything.

    • Shirley Knott

      More suggestions. Be very critical when determine the book’s condition. Use the ‘notes’ field (whatever it’s called) to annotate any specific issues, pro or con. Roughly half of my very small number of returns or issues have been due to condition.
      When listing, always look at Amazon’s listing for the title. The seller’s page makes this easy. Check what other sellers are pricing at and price accordingly. Or toss the book if it’s priced below $5. Anything under $10 or $12 is not worth taking back except in *very* rare circumstances; offer to refund purchase price to placate the buyer, let them keep the book.
      The hard ones are where there are no listings. Pick a price that reflects your best judgement of the intersection between what you’d like to get and what you’d expect people to pay.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Set up a large Little Free Library for what doesn’t sell? (half-serious) They are outnumbering fire hydrants around here. Except for the ones the Karens have shut down.

      • Gender Traitor

        What on Earth do the Karens have against the Little Free Libraries?? There’s one down the next street over from us – apparently the only one in our ZIP code.

      • invisible finger

        The virus lives in those libraries!

        /karen

      • The Last American Hero

        I’m tempted to terrorize ours by making sure it always has a copy of Art of the Deal.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Yeah, supposed vectors. Some remain open with Purell attached.

      • UnCivilServant

        Any water to get the purell residue off?

      • Mojeaux

        I will not put that shit on my hands. It is completely oogey.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        OMG, hate that stuff. Thank dog it isn’t mandatory.

      • Gender Traitor

        I think I have managed not to put a single drop of that on my hands since all this nonsense began.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Most remain open and only a couple have Purell attached.

        Many feature chalk drawings or sayings a/o small painted rocks nearby, though, complete with inspirational platitudes. There must be some bored-ass kids around if they’re reverting to the 19C.

      • Shirley Knott

        Sadly, I’m way in the back of a large apartment complex or I’d seriously consider this. I’ve got a lot of books that would delight the right person but have close to zero cash value. I’d be happy to give up the books to see the delight.

      • Tundra

        I give books away all the time. I still have a couple bookshelves full, but I like sharing them with people I like.

        I don’t have any collectibles.

      • Fourscore

        I’m with you, I buy, read, give away. Tell the recipient to sell/give away, keep at their pleasure. The only books I keeps are reloading, info never gets old, maybe change but not old.

  63. The Other Kevin

    So Cuomo, in typical politician fashion, is taking all the credit and none of the blame.

    • leon

      The Red Pill is now a symbol of “Mens Rights” to normies because that one girl made the move “Red Pill”

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I love it when my MIL criticizes me on the Twatters.

      • leon

        Heh. Yeah.

        ‘blaring men’s rights activism bulls***’

        here is another example of “Principles”. If you talk to a femenist about MRA’s they will talk about how they despise, basically for asserting that they have rights, just like women have rights. They will talk about how it is unfair that men are “disingenuously” using the same rhetoric as them to push forward their agenda. Because feminists are not in love with the principles of rights, but with the idea of getting more power for their Tribe. So anyone using the same language and reasoning is being mischievous because they are twisting the holy words to argue for something that is anathema to them.

    • PieInTheSky

      maybe musk is going full commie

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I just don’t know how you go from Talulah Riley to tatted up freakshow.

      • juris imprudent

        After he smoked the Devil’s Lettuce?

  64. The Late P Brooks

    Try a local used book store, be prepared to be disappointed.

    That’s what I figgered. Thanks. I don’t want to just give these books away. It could come to that.

    I need to see if Alibris is still around, and how their deal works, I guess.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Is Ali-bris like Ali-baba? An online platform for selling stuff? They just take a small cut off the top?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Just trimming along the edge.

    • Mojeaux

      I know I can’t persuade you to eBay. All I can say is that I’ve been using eBay and Paypal for 30 years and have rarely had a problem. I’ve never had a problem that was generated by Paypal or eBay.

      • UnCivilServant

        Combined, maybe, but the older company (ebay) is only 24 years old.

      • UnCivilServant

        Sorry, my pedantic instict fired off.

      • Mojeaux

        No big. I was wrong and made myself look stupid.

        Shit. I should’ve claimed typo.

      • Mojeaux

        I can’t maths.

        20 years.

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      It probably depends a lot on the types of the books, not that I could advise about any specifically.

    • invisible finger

      What genres? Hardcover, paperback?

      Some genres like science fiction and military history have specialized dealers – they will pay more than a general used book seller. That is where photographs of spines is a big help. Which means you need to sort your inventory if you haven’t already.

    • creech

      Yeah, Alibris is still around. They charge you maybe 50% of what you expect to sell the book for.

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      Also, are they photogenic? Books By The Yard, maybe?

      • Fourscore

        You mean “Books for Decorating Purposes”. We sold a lot of those to various restaurant chains, the box held 36″ of books. No text books, no oversize paperbacks, no book club fiction. Special orders extra (law books, etc)

  65. Gustave Lytton

    Wow. I had that Fisher Price player too. I remember there used to be read along books with mini records inside in toy stores.

    Didn’t have the lawn games, but a friend did and they were a staple at bbqs/picnics as well. I don’t remember anything other than hitting the ball with the mallet.

  66. Yusef drives a Kia

    The very last photo of the Doll? That’s Dressy Bessy, My Sister had one for years, Good Morning!

    • Gender Traitor

      Yup! And the boy doll was Dapper Dan.

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      Mornin’, Yusef!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Howdy! I had a Pet Rock……..

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        You and Charlie Brown at Halloween.

        Mood rings are still around: saw one at CVS recently. How do they (spuriously) work?

        Nobody mentioned Ouija boards! Just as well.

    • Mojeaux

      Thanks, Yusef, and good morning!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Remember Mood Rings?
        Hi Mo, good fun this morning

      • Mojeaux

        I do remember, but didn’t have one.

        Hi Yusef!

    • Pope Jimbo

      Except the Black Panthers patrolling polling stations with bats is still totes OK?

      • UnCivilServant

        “Vote Barry ‘Bama or Bat.”

    • leon

      Its premise is that a Republican victory in November is imperiled by widespread voter fraud, a baseless charge embraced by President Donald Trump, but repeatedly debunked by research. Democrats and voting rights advocates say the driving factor is politics, not fraud — especially since Trump’s narrow win in 2016 underscored the potentially crucial value of depressing turnout by Democrats, particularly minorities.

      So A thight margin underscores the cruical value of depressing turnout, but not the crucial value in fabricating some ballots? It is not a lie that Boxes of ballots are “found” after elections, and that some precincts have 100% + voter turnout.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        “Lying is a preferred tactic provided that the lie is told first and repeated over and over again. People tend to believe what they hear first and develop a deep seated prejudice against anything that refutes the lie. This is especially true when emotion is used to fortify the lie. Tie the lie in with a deeply emotional story that vilifies the opposition.” – Alinsky

      • leon

        “Most people, in fact, will not take the trouble in finding out the truth, but are much more inclined to accept the first story they hear.”

        ― Thucydides, History of the Peloponnesian War

      • wdalasio

        I’ve suggested to the people peddling the “voter fraud is a myth” claim that there’s a simple compromise. Let’s make voter fraud a capital offense. Since it’s something that never happens, I’m sure there should be no issue with it. I mean, it’s not like anyone would be actually get the death sentence, since voter fraud never happens in the first place. I never hear any response on the suggestion.

      • Akira

        Another amazing piece of DoubleThink is that the same people complaining that voter ID is racist are the ones who also think that guy buyers should have to not only show ID but also pass a background check, wait seven days, and pay astronomical taxes and fees.

      • leon

        Because the right to self defense is not nearly as important as the right to be 1 of 120,000,000 people to choose who becomes president.

        /Knows this won’t be seen.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        repeatedly debunked by research

        Erm, no. Most of the “research” done are surveys of the criminal charges levied against vote fraudsters. Unprosecuted, widespread vote fraud, as suggested by the right, is not being researched. Mainly because it’s not easy to research, being that it’s illegal and highly conspiratorial.

      • wdalasio

        And efforts to get the data to research it consistently get rebuffed by the authorities in the places where investigators try to research it. It’s almost as if the people who win elections in places where there is suspected voter fraud have something to hide.

      • leon

        Voter Fraud is one of those things that “Only happens Over there, or Back Then”. Of course 3rd world Countries have voter fraud and fake elections, and we know that all the machine politics happened back in the 1880s to 1920’s but That is all because people in the past and in those countries are backwards. That would never happen here.

        This is the meaning of “American Exceptionalism”. In 100 years they will talk about politics today much like we do now about politics 100 years ago but they will still say “of course now we know better”.

    • leon

      But the program escalates a Republican focus on limiting who can vote that became a juggernaut after the Supreme Court dismantled the Voting Rights Act in 2013. But beyond that, it also reflects an enduring tension in American life in which the voting rights of minorities — whether granted in 1870 by the 15th Amendment or nearly a century later by the Voting Rights Act of 1965 — seldom seem free from challenge.

      Asking for basic integrity of the voting system is an attack on minority suffrage.

  67. Pope Jimbo

    Uffda. Just saw that my wife ordered a new jump rope.

    About 5 years ago my wife decided that making the kids jump rope every day during summer vacation was going to solve world hunger and cure cancer. So she’d roust the kids every morning to make them jump.

    The fights every morning were epic. Of course, my wife didn’t think she needed to jump rope. She just supervised the jumping while the kids flipped out about the hypocrisy and the unendurable horror of having to jump rope (something like 100 times in a row without missing).

    I’m not exaggerating when I say that I’d rather spend more time in lockdown than the resumption of Rope Skip Concentration Camp.

    • straffinrun

      For years I mispronounced “chicken” and “jump rope” (sound similar in Japanese). Led to some awkward misunderstandings with my coworkers.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Offering to tie them up for lunch?

    • Count Potato

      “The fights every morning were epic.”

      At least it was good training for boxing.

    • Tundra

      Awesome training. Suck it up, Marine.

    • Gender Traitor

      That’s awesome!

    • Count Potato

      He probably figured they were Eagles fans.

  68. DEG

    Wow. I remember a whole bunch of this stuff. We had a croquet set. I remember tinkering with a spirograph too. Kaleidoscopes were cool.

    Thanks Mojeaux!

    • Mojeaux

      You’re welcome!

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      Thanks schmanks. Can she make me 7 years old again, if only for a week or a day?

      I found Barbie still fun to dress up while house-sitting for my parents a few years ago.

      • Mojeaux

        I cannot make you 7 again.

        I bought a bunch of Barbies at the thrift store for $1 each intending to dress them in the clothes my characters wear because when you get right down to it, many of my stories start out as clothes porn. Fanfic, if you will.

        But then life change happened and I threw them out. Old craft projects have to go.

  69. UnCivilServant

    Well, that was a very un-Glibfit lunch – A can of Boyar D topped with Wood Pulp Parm served with a side of potato chips.

    • pistoffnick

      “Wood Pulp Parm”

      That is an excellent description. My wife and kids love the powdered Parmesan that comes out of the Green Kraft can. I swear it is have cardboard.

      I’d rather grate the reel stuff

      /haughty cheese snob

      • pistoffnick

        have cardboard should be half cardboard

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, powdered cellulose is an ingredient in the mix.

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      Costco carries pre-shredded without anti-caking agents.

      • UnCivilServant

        I have no trouble getting the real stuff, but that doesn’t carry the nostalgic texture when eating cheap pasta.

  70. Pope Jimbo

    Speaking of toys, did anyone ever get any slot car set from the old days to actually work?

    I think I got a few as a kid and knew lots of other kids that got them too, but they never ever worked. Maybe ever once in a blue moon, one car might lurch a few inches along the track, but that was it.

    The rest of the time you just played with either the cars or by using the track lengths like legos to build stupid stuff

    • Fatty Bolger

      Yeah, they always seemed to break pretty easily. But my brother had a nice (expensive) set that worked really well.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I still have slot cars, a huge setup, we ran it last month,
      Been racing slots all my life

    • The Other Kevin

      Even when they were brand new we could only get one of the cars to work.

    • Timeloose

      My set worked great. It had the ability to pass and change lanes (nascar theme). It worked great until I decided to use a hammer and nails to mount the oval track to a pice of plywood. Once the conducting rails were hit with the hammer it never worked properly again.

      It was a blast until I ruined it .

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eqm_51OCe9Y

    • The Last American Hero

      Mine worked but the accelerator was real twitchy and you didn’t go all out unless you wanted to fly across the room.

      • UnCivilServant

        Never had one, but I thought launching the little car as far into the wall as it would go was the point.

    • Bobarian LMD

      The Aurora AFX G Plus HO scale race sets were the bomb.

      Pencil erasers were your friend, because keeping the contacts clean was essential.

  71. Fatty Bolger

    Anybody remember the Mattel Vetibird?

  72. Count Potato

    I wonder how I can keep my immune system in shape by exposing myself to germs besides covid-19?

    • straffinrun

      *Paging Winston’s mom*

    • UnCivilServant

      There’s always the Wuhan Coronavirus, Wuflu, The Chinese Virus, Commie Cough, Kung Flu, Ebola, or Socialism, though the last is fatal.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Pure brinksmanship.

      It’s not the useless bureaucratic twats that will get laid off because nobody cares about that, it’s the employees that are out in front of the public because they generate more sympathy.

    • leon

      California Gov. Gavin Newsom (D) on Sunday said approving coronavirus relief funding for state and local governments is “not charity” and that his state is facing budgetary concerns as a “direct result” of the crisis.

      As a direct result of your actions?

    • leon

      “This is not a red issue or a blue issue. This is impacting every state in America,” Newsom added.

      I think it is. Democrats remove SALT tax cap in their “Relief” bill specifically for Blue States. Democrats have been diving into debt in their states for years. And when we look at the “Red States take More” it actually doesn’t pan out when you look at per capita. The place that takes the most is… Virginia (looking at you NOVA) so really it’s DC that is the Tax hog. Go figure.

    • Fatty Bolger

      OK. Should be fun watching you try to explain that to your constituents.

      • UnCivilServant

        The illegal alein ballot harvesters? I think they’ll still vote Newsom over and over again.

    • mrfamous

      Washington Monument Syndrome for two hundred, Alex.

  73. KSuellington

    Great toys, had a number of those in our house growing up. I didn’t have the Fischer Price record player, but some little kids one that I loved that played 45’s. I had a 3 Dog Night, a Tommy Roe that had “Dizzy” on it, an Irish Rovers one that had “Unicorn” and a Dr Demento that had “They’re Coming to Take Me Away”. The Dr Demento one had the reverse version of the song on the B side, which I found endlessly amusing and drove my mom crazy with.

    • Mojeaux

      the reverse version of the song on the B side

      Epic!

      • KSuellington

        It was actually Napoleon XIV that did that tune. This was the exact copy I had, I still remember that orange label. That song fascinated my 6-8 year old self.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4gbvcEkuFFI

    • Fatty Bolger

      I would play 8 track music tapes on my 2-XL.

      • KSuellington

        Nice! I never had one of those, but I think it was a cousin who did. Fun trip down memory lane.

    • Bobarian LMD

      Neighbor kid’s sister had one of those.

      We’d play Marty Robbins El Paso over and over while acting it out on a rocking horse while his sister would play Felina.

  74. JaimeRoberto Delecto

    Sorry is still pretty popular in Slovakia where it’s known as Člověče, nezlob se! Apparently the game originated in India.

  75. Mojeaux

    Just told XY we’re going to burn all the scrap wood he’s been hoarding for a weenie roast and s’mores. He’s not happy but at least he groks our situation enough to go along with it without much of a fuss. The weenie roast and s’mores is just to placate him. I wouldn’t bother otherwise.

    Anyway, things are getting moved to storage, albeit little by little. The garage looks much better already. I’m going to start packing up books soon. Walmart had this nifty plastic tub on wheels. It’ll take 2 people to lift it into the truck once it’s full, but nobody will have to carry it anywhere.

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      Ah well, wood is expendable.

      • pistoffnick

        It does grow on trees!

      • UnCivilServant

        I thought it grew in trees.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I bought one of those last week, very flimsy when loaded with tools, books might crush the poor thing,

      • Mojeaux

        The one with the tan lid?!

        Shit. I haven’t used mine yet. I might take it back. I have a bunch of those black crates with yellow lids.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I learned long ago, don’t pack big boxes with books, I still have a few that weigh 60-70 lb. or more, no fun lifting them…..

      • Don Escaped Australians

        paper is dense and packs tight

        ever notice that, back in the day, UPS and USPS only bought Mack trucks?

        similar idea at Tyson chicken: round balls of frozen water make for heavy loads

      • juris imprudent

        I only did it once – left my back in excruciating pain for a couple of days. And that was in my twenties.

    • Gender Traitor

      At work, we buy our printer/copy paper from a guy who’s like a Big Lots for paper. Lately he’s brought our orders in five-ream boxes that are PERFECT for moving books – sturdy, but not too heavy to lift when packed full. I can’t bring myself to throw the boxes away, so they tend to pile up in the supply room with a “Free to Good Home” sign on them.

      • Mojeaux

        I would love a bunch of those. Alas.

      • Gender Traitor

        Go begging at your local Office Depot for the cases their shelf stock came in? Most are likely to be ten-ream cases, but those are Useful Boxes, too.

      • Incentives Matter

        I’ve also found that “one-cube” (1 cubic foot) packing boxes work well for most books (oversized stuff excepted, natch).

      • UnCivilServant

        My collection of oversized coffee table books and unabridged dictionaries never fits

      • UnCivilServant

        Don’t get me started about the large print editions…

      • Mojeaux

        Oh! Another coffee table book aficionado! Yay!!!

        I have some of those and I don’t even have a coffee table.

      • UnCivilServant

        I suspect ours may have different topics.

      • Mojeaux

        Does it matter as long as the pictures are pretty?

      • UnCivilServant

        “Pretty” is such a sibjective term.

        The warhammer art books are of high technical merit, but I’m not sure if you would care so much for the subject matter. The converse is also questionable.

      • Mojeaux

        I have so. much. art.

        I have to rotate everything out like a museum does. My cheap Pisarro print is super faded (my art gallery has the original and I had no idea how faded it was), but the framing was super-expensive (I worked at a frame shop at the time, so I had a deep discount), I can’t bear to be rid of it.

        I’m going to have to replace the print with a new one when I get money/time.

      • UnCivilServant

        Most of my art is locked away in books. Hanging on my walls I have only three things – my diploma from RIT, a print of the declaration of independance, and a tiny demotivational poster mostly to make sue I don’t forget there’s a nail there.

      • UnCivilServant

        The one on my wall is “Government – if you think the problems we create are bad, wait until you see our solutions”

  76. The Late P Brooks

    Yes, you won’t get fair value, but you will get a fuckton of store credit to buy.more.books.

    The absolute last thing I need is more stuff. It’s time for a major purge so I can get the fuck out of this commie shithole.

    • straffinrun

      The homeowner then went inside and discovered an alleged naked intruder was in one of the children’s rooms and “holding a large piece of wood.”

  77. The Late P Brooks

    “Newsom says first responders would be first ones laid off if states don’t get federal assistance ”

    “After that, we’ll lay off all the garbage men so we can hire plague tracers and planning and zoning code enforcers.”

  78. Count Potato

    “Over 100 Million in China’s Northeast Face Renewed Lockdown

    Some 108 million people in China’s northeast region are being plunged back under lockdown conditions as a new and growing cluster of infections causes a backslide in the nation’s return to normal.

    In an abrupt reversal of the re-opening taking place across the nation, cities in Jilin province have cut off trains and buses, shut schools and quarantined tens of thousands of people. The strict measures have dismayed many residents who had thought the worst of the nation’s epidemic was over.

    People “are feeling more cautious again,” said Fan Pai, who works at a trading company in Shenyang, a city in nearby Liaoning province that’s also facing renewed restrictions. “Children playing outside are wearing masks again” and health care workers are walking around in protective gear, she said. “It’s frustrating because you don’t know when it will end.””

    https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2020-05-18/over-100-million-in-china-s-northeast-thrown-back-under-lockdown

  79. Ownbestenemy

    That was fun Mo. Either I or cousins had all that until the computer/video game revolution arrived.

    • Mojeaux

      Thanks!

      I’d make the next one all music, but Ted’S usually has that covered in the comments.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Yeah, she hath brought scores of the comments.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        That is, “Yea, verily…”

        Mo, how on earth do you get your crap done while wasting time on us? Rhetorical Q, need not answer.

      • Mojeaux

        Without trying to sound too cocky, I work and type and think like I drive: Fast and destination-oriented. It gives me a lot of time to fuck around. But! If I get in a zone, I will not come up for air. Last summer when I started writing Cods & Cuntes, I ditched the internet completely. In fact, Glibbies were getting worried about me and OMWC pinged me to check on me (which I found incredibly sweet). I also don’t do housework or cook nightly dinner (or almost ever). My house isn’t a wreck, but it’s not the sparkling gem I was raised to keep.

  80. The Late P Brooks

    What genres? Hardcover, paperback?

    Mostly contemporary mid 20th century American fiction. Hard covers, some first editions.

    If Alibris charges half, that’s probably pretty much the same as selling them at the used book store. Huh.

    • Fourscore

      That may be optimistic. If it isn’t too inconvenient take a box in, some stores pick and chose, some buy the lot. Get an idea what your local market is doing.

      Fiction is tough though. Readers are getting scarce, as u no.

      • Mojeaux

        Readers aren’t, but readers who will read paper are. Power readers read ebooks.

    • leon

      Fact checkers? At this point everyone assumes what he says are false, and they False Check what people claim are lies are actually true.

  81. Sean

    I love all the toy reminiscing.

    While not really a toy, I had one of these as a lil kid:

    Moving Pac Man light

    • Incentives Matter

      The spousal unit would be all over that. She couldn’t get enough of Pac-Man (or Ms. Pac-Man) when we were in Uni.

  82. Creosote Achilles

    I had that FP Record Player. We had a bunch of Disney and Marvel story records. They were records with dialogue from a movie / comic book along with the album sleeve having a bookelet with pictures to follow along.

    I still have the original Fox and the Hound album which is a beautiful vinyl record. My parents were strict enough about taking care of my shit that 30+ years later those albums are completely playable.

    • Ted S.

      “This Tweet is unavailable.”

      • Gender Traitor

        Only approved followers can see @chelsimoy’s Tweets. To request access, click Follow.

        Must have been getting reamed in the replies.

  83. Apples and Knives

    A Facebook friend recently posted a CNN article about the states with the fastest rising and declining Covid rates. I figured if she was posting it, Arkansas (where we live) must be on the list. Sure enough, I saw that we were one of the three states (along with South Dakota and Maine) with rapidly rising case numbers. Here’s the shocking and horrifying information from the article:

    “New cases per 100,000 people increased almost 50% this past week, from about two cases per 100,000 to roughly three.”

    So, in a city the size of Little Rock (about 200,000), we had maybe 4 cases last week but this week we have 5 or 6? SHUT IT BACK DOWN! 🙂

    https://www.cnn.com/2020/05/15/us/us-coronavirus-new-case-rates-falling-and-rising-the-most/index.html

    • Don Escaped Australians

      Arkansas (where we live)

      What county? Lachowsky’s is around Fort Smith, I’m in Memphis . . . not really an Arkansas Glib quorum yet.

      • Apples and Knives

        Pulaski. I live in Little Rock. I seemed to remember there were a couple other Arkansans back when I used to post more frequently. I got busy with a new job at the end of 2017 and stopped posting but I started lurking again when this crap started going down. It helps restore my sanity.

      • Tom Teriffic

        I’ve been in Fort Smith and West Memphis. I’ve also been to Paragould. Still not a quorum, I imagine.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      I had to click to see it for myself. Jesus Christ.

      And then Maine: “Maine’s daily new case count rose nearly 32% this past week, from about two cases per 100,000 residents to nearly three.”

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        *achievement unlocked*

        /public school union

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      Fun with statistics!

  84. commodious spittoon

    There’s a Levitron I got as a kid tucked away in a box somewhere. I should find that.

  85. Count Potato

    “An all-female writing staff working on the reboot of “She-Ra: Princess of Power” updated the characters to include women of color, women of all different shapes and sizes, and women who love other women.”

    https://twitter.com/NPR/status/1262341651055476738

    Enough already.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      It will never be enough for them.

    • leon

      To be really provocative and outlandish, they should replace all the characters with Men, kinda like that whole “Hamilton” thing.

  86. The Late P Brooks

    “New cases per 100,000 people increased almost 50% this past week, from about two cases per 100,000 to roughly three.”

    *clutches chest, falls to floor*

  87. Mojeaux

    Oh wow. For the first time in years I found a picture I want to cross stitch.

    The thing about this life re-set is that it has re-awakened my interest in crafts. Not a lot, but the spark is still there.

  88. Tom Teriffic

    Aaah, so many memories, for good and ill. And hell yeah, those hot-holders are still the best. I got a Bozo when I was about 3, didn’t see the sense in trying to clobber a happysmiley guy like that. I never punctured it, I just ignored it. My record player pre-dated the Fisher-Price one and was a bit more substantial and versatile. Same idea though. Somewhere there’s photographic evidence of me in footie jammies woprking the thing. I distinctly remember trying to figure out how to make it play backwards.