IFLA: The “Very Mysterious” Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of June 14

by | Jun 14, 2020 | Advice, IFLA | 141 comments

Things get better this month… but not this week.  Venus is still retrograde, so any alignments involved with it are going to be disadvantageous.  And we have one again — this time with Jupiter retrograde and Mercury.  This actually good be a good sign for those of us who might be entertained by a royal marriage coming apart, since that’s a very solid reading of this particular astrological arrangement.  The moon whips around the zodiac doing its thing.  Starting off the week, it aligns with the earth and Mars, indicating either trouble at home, a soldier leaving home, a soldier arriving home, or a houseboat colliding with a naval vessel.  Possibly a wakeboarding accident.  It’s not as clear as the alignment mentioned earlier.  On Friday though, Luna will move into a different alignment, this time with Venus retrograde and the sun.  Relationships are going to be particularly fragile on that day.

There are simply massive infidelity signs in the skies this week, with Venus retrograde in Gemini getting transits by both the moon and the sun (though not at the same time, thankfully).  The moon starts off the week in Aries though, and maybe that is the trigger that causes all of the domestic disputes throughout the week (the symbol of insanity in the sign of the goat?  Fun to watch, less fun to live through.)  Mercury in Cancer indicates hidden things are happening.  Sneaky things.  Mysterious secret that I would tell you about except I have no idea what they are because they are so secret.  Sometimes astrology isn’t as helpful as it’s cracked up to be.

I’m not going to lie to you.  This week’s draw sucks badly.  Things going wrong most of the week (especially in financial matters) and to top it all off, your work is going to be judged by an r-tard.  And then a second r-tard is going to come along and back up their opinion.  Stay strong.

Gemini:  Ace of Wands – Creation, invention, enterprise, beginning, source

Cancer:  King of Coins reversed – Vice, weakness, ugliness, perversity, corruption, peril.

Leo:  Knight of Cups reversed –  Trickery, artifice, subtlety, swindling, duplicity, fraud.

Virgo:  Strength – Power, energy, action, courage, magnanimity, complete success, honors

Libra:  2 of Swords – Conformity, control, equality of suffering

Scorpio:  5 of Coins reversed – Disorder, chaos, ruin, discord, profligacy.

Sagittarius:  9 of Wands reversed – Obstacles, adversity, calamity

Capricorn:  10 of Swords reversed – Advantage, profit, success, favor, but none of these are permanent; also power and authority.

Aquarius:  3 of Swords reversed – Mental alienation, error, loss, distraction, disorder, confusion.

Pisces:  Judgement reversed – Weakness, pusillanimity, simplicity, deliberation, decision, sentence.

Aries:  The Moon – Hidden enemies, danger, calumny, darkness, terror, deception, occult forces, error

Taurus:  The Fool – Folly, mania, extravagance, intoxication, delirium, frenzy, bewrayment

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

141 Comments

  1. Spudalicious

    “Libra: 2 of Swords – Conformity, control, equality of suffering”

    Huh. How Libertarian.

  2. gbob

    bewrayment is a brand new word for me. Nice.

    • Tres Cool

      Its twoo! Its twoo its twoo!

  3. cyto

    “Your work will be judged by an r-tard.”

    I’ll take things that are true on days ending in Y for 1,000, Alex!

  4. Sean

    “Vice, weakness, ugliness, perversity, corruption, peril.”. Kinky.

  5. TARDIS

    This week’s draw sucks badly.

    No worries, it’s completely wrong.

    Virgo: Strength – Power, energy, action, courage, magnanimity, complete success, honors

    Nope.

    /SMDH

  6. Timeloose

    I don’t know about ya’ll but this horoscope looks good to me.

    Strength – Power, energy, action, courage, magnanimity, complete success, honors

    The Virgo horoscopes have been a mixed bag at best lately.

  7. Don Escaped any Landslide

    Capricorn: 10 of Swords reversed – Advantage, profit, success, favor, but none of these are permanent; also power and authority.

    My card this year has been more irrational exuberance, toiletries unproffered, unspeakable immunity, spotty bandwidth; I’ve had bingo about six times already. Side effects may include weight gain, dizziness, erectile dysfunction, flatulence, frequent urinary urgency, insomnia, anal itching, and hippies.

    • westernsloper

      Side effects may include weight gain, dizziness, erectile dysfunction, flatulence, frequent urinary urgency, insomnia, anal itching,

      And I thought I over shared on this site.

      • Incentives Matter

        And I thought I over shared on this site.

        Pffffft. You ain’t seen nothin’ yet! {rolls up sleeves, goes over last sixteen years of medical records}

    • Mojeaux

      anal itching

      That combination of words is hilarious.

      • westernsloper

        Not as funny as anal leakage which was a side effect to those fat free potato chips some years ago.

        The only time I had serious anal itching I assumed parasites. I wasn’t wrong.

      • Tres Cool

        -1 Olestra

      • Suthenboy

        Only if someone else is experiencing it.

      • TARDIS

        Indeed. I can’t find the obligatory Billy Connolly bit on the Queen having an itchy asshole.

    • blackjack

      I just don’t think this is an accurate horoscope for us capricorns. There’s finally the beginnings of a revolution against the government. I’m a libertarian, and I have to fight on the government’s side. Imagine how pissed I must be.

      • Suthenboy

        ^This^

      • Naptown Bill

        This is what it felt like to be a Russian anti-Tsarist who wasn’t a Communist, maybe.

  8. DEG

    This actually good be a good sign for those of us who might be entertained by a royal marriage coming apart, since that’s a very solid reading of this particular astrological arrangement.

    Harry rediscovering his balls and spine? I guess stranger things have happened.

    Venus retrograde in Gemini getting transits by both the moon and the sun (though not at the same time, thankfully)

    Some people are into double transits.

    Things going wrong most of the week (especially in financial matters)

    I better get my fucking retention bonus.

    Leo: Knight of Cups reversed – Trickery, artifice, subtlety, swindling, duplicity, fraud.

    So… normal.

    • hayeksplosives

      I think it more likely that the Harry/ Markle thing will be ended by Meghan herself, or by people whose resumes include stunt driving in tunnels…

      • Mojeaux

        I don’t think she’d get the turnout Diana did, though.

      • hayeksplosives

        Nope. Diana was a drama queen but she did have a way with people when it came to comforting AIDS victims (when few would touch them), raising money to clean up minefields, etc, and she’d been around for years as a style icon.

        Diana would probably have damaged her own image if there’d been Twitter by then.

        Diana was also considered “nobility” (Lady Diana Spencer) and added a much needed injection of English blood into the British monarchy. (She had an argument with Prince Philip, who tried to pull rank and put her in “her place”, and she remarked that she had more English blood in her veins than any of the Firm.

      • Mojeaux

        Oh Philip, you cute DaneGreek you.

        As for the rest of the Germans in that family…

  9. westernsloper

    Gemini: Ace of Wands – Creation, invention, enterprise, beginning, source

    This arrived Friday and will be mounted to an old Trek hard tail that has been rotting in the wood shed.

    • egould310

      That looks cool. Have fun and make lots of noise/smoke.

      • westernsloper

        True the noise might be annoying but this is out of my price range. Also, given this place is rife with dirt bikes, four wheeler’s, and side by sides I doubt anybody will give a shit.

        I aksed about you the other day. How close are you to the CHAZ?

      • egould310

        We’re in Ballard, about five miles from the madness. The chaz selected a neighborhood that was sympathetic to “the cause”. Ballard is a hipster area to be sure, but it also home to the Pacific fishing fleet. Lot’s of shipbuilding, repair, machine shops, refrigeration, industrial shops. Any commies tried to block this area will get beaten down pretty quickly. This neighborhood is part of the productive class.

      • tripacer

        Ballard has the good breweries too. I wonder if Optimism and Brewlab are going to reopen in occupied territory?

  10. Grumbletarian

    Scorpio: 5 of Coins reversed – Disorder, chaos, ruin, discord, profligacy.

    Finally a return to normalcy.

  11. cyto

    I rewatched Jack Reacher last night. Good flick.

    Spoiler question

    The black cop is a smart detective who is following the case where it leads… smart, but jack reacher is smarter. We watch him discover evidence and put a case together.

    Then he’s on the mobster payroll at the end. When does that occur? Was he on the take the whole time, or did he get bought at some point. Because he works the case like he doesn’t have the roadmap in hand. I didn’t think of it until just now.. but do they tip their hand at any point, or is this an unfair switcheroo twist?

    • cyto

      Bonus question….

      At the beginning, Jack is wearing a Hawaiian shirt. He sees our accused killer as he’s watching TV in a hotel room following a hookup. He takes off Hawaiian shirt, tossing it in the garbage as he doffs the iconic t-shirt and leather jacket.

      Pre-shadow of the Bugalooo language?

      • R C Dean

        Nah. Just a quick easy visual that mini-Reacher is in work mode.

    • C. Anacreon

      After many years of reading almost exclusively nonfiction, I’ve been on a binge read of pop mystery novels over the past year, including all the Reacher novels, one of which is what started the binge. The Reacher books are fun, light escapism and hard to put down. It’s always great when Reacher encounters the inevitable group of five aggressive rednecks and you are treated to the meticulous physics of how he kicks all their asses in a few seconds (and then always becomes a fugitive from crooked local cops who are friends of the rednecks as a result.)

      But a flaw of all these genre novels, including Reacher and the Lincoln Rhyme stories I’m working through now, is the obligatory twist where the apparent ally turns out to be one of the bad guys. If you go back to the earlier pages, there is never any indication this could be possible, just as you point out happened in the movie.

      Another ubiquitous part of every one of these books, relevant to the current theme of white privilege, is that the bad guys are never black, always white. They could be Russian, German, Eastern European, South African white, or domestic rednecks, neo-nazis or white nationalists, or other caricatures, but blacks are painstakingly avoided as anything but the good guys. Not saying it shouldn’t be that way, but it flies in the face of the current media trope that blacks are always unfairly portrayed as criminals.

      • Naptown Bill

        The argument is that that in itself is racist, because it’s due to primarily white creators being unwilling or unable to think of a dynamic, powerful nemesis who isn’t also white. You can’t win, really. The argument I think holds more water is that people are afraid to even engage the topic so they just avoid it. What if you’re accused of promoting negative stereotypes after you create a supervillain who’s black? Easier to just make the villain be whoever the worst kind of white person is at the time, especially if they’re bad because of racism. And, let’s be honest, it’s usually racism that makes them the worst, which is why you get South Africans during Apartheid’s waning days, or redneck separatists, etc.

    • Drake

      Rewatch it and there are some tells early that the cop is dirty.

      • cyto

        Talking it over, I remember that at the end they actually did give away that he was always dirty. Reacher says “nobody would think to dump that meter” to find the coin with the thumbprint.

        Still, it seems like an unfair twist, although it does explain how they are able to put their patsy in a coma.

      • cyto

        Not unfair like many ‘twist’ movies are… like the ones where the bad guy is shown to be 6’5″ and 234 lbs, then it turns out to be the 5’4″ 110lb secretary.

  12. l0b0t

    Sagittarius: 9 of Wands reversed – Obstacles, adversity, calamity

    Enough already!

    OT – I’m hopping ass mad at my soon-to-be-ex-uncle-in-law. He just returned my Shop-Vac… absent the drain plug, and he had been using it as a sump pump in his basement, but he couldn’t be bothered to remove the HEPA filter/dry vacuum innards and use the wet vacuum innards. FUCK!!!

    • Grumbletarian

      Ask if you can borrow his car to take it mudding.

  13. UnCivilServant

    Listening to you lot, I expected to find naught but ash and rubble when I ventured forth. Instead, nothing seemed to have changed. There were more normal people and fewer Wuhan Zombies, but that was it.

    • Sean

      Doom!

      The end is nigh. ?

      • Sean

        Speaking of ends, I finished Scintilla Vitae. I was unfamiliar with the universe, but as stand alone scifi, I enjoyed it. I sent a copy to my gf.

        Refer to my avatar.

      • UnCivilServant

        I suppose that is the best compliment you can give to a work of fan fiction. Thank you.

      • Sean

        I had to google the Sebastian reference.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m curious if you found the right reference…

      • Sean

        It made the reference make sense, so I’m 99% sure I did.

      • Sean

        Bingo

      • l0b0t

        Commissar Yarrick fanfic?

      • UnCivilServant

        He is only referenced obliquely.

      • UnCivilServant

        Oh, did you have an opinion of any of the characters?

      • Sean

        I don’t really have an answer for that.

    • Not an Economist

      You may have emerged prematurely. There is an alternate reading of the Mayan calendar where the end of the world is supposed to be … this week.

  14. JD is in the United Karendom

    If it’s something along those lines so be it but now sure about that because some of the most articulate people on fricken youtube are black personalities. Colton Noir, Elders, Tatum etc. I just found it interesting. I hope it’s because of that and I’m just ignorant of it.

    But if it was because there’s some ugly under current of ‘eh, they’re black’ (which I doubt. Unless it’s a Democrat of course…Booya!) that does a disservice.

    I once knew a very intelligent lady who for some reason felt the need to apologise and correct herself when she said “aksed” instead of “asked” and it occured to me that I didn’t care, and could tell full well what she was saying, and I always thought of it as a cultural thing, because in my speech there are plenty of dumb idiosyncracies I picked up and just stuck with me. I’m very frond of malapropisms, and I often use the wrong words on porpoise, which has lead me to be mocked as stupid, because for whatever raisin, a lot of folks just assume I’m slow and poorly edumacated. I could whale on and on about it but I dolphinitely don’t have the thyme or inclinometer to waist the energy. It’s not nececelery something I can change. I yam what I yam.

    Speaking of what is destined to be:

    Conformity, control, equality of suffering

    So, exactly what the mob demands. Got it.

    • Naptown Bill

      For some reason, the first meal of the day for my dad and one of my aunts has always been “bruhfres”. They also eat “oystures” and change the “ohl” in their cars. Meh.

    • Suthenboy

      Generally there are two different black accents in the US. I had someone explain it to me once and it made perfect sense I just cant remember it all because it was 40 years ago.
      What stuck with me was the pronunciations ‘chirren’ and ‘chidren’ as markers for each of the two accents.
      I wish I had a better explanation. Surely someone has done a study? Where are our resident linguists?

      • Drake

        I lived in NC for a while and worked at a factory in a small town. There was an older country white guy I couldn’t understand at all. He ramble on, then I’d ask the black guy in our department for a translation.

    • R C Dean

      “I’m very frond of malapropisms“

      Do tell.

  15. Yusef drives a Kia

    Virgo: Strength – Power, energy, action, courage, magnanimity, complete success, honors
    I could only hope….
    Howdy!

  16. egould310

    Smirnoff, Emergen-C, Perrier. Beautiful spring day here in Seattle. Cheers to all the Glibs. *clink*

  17. AlmightyJB

    Virgo: Strength – Power, energy, action, courage, magnanimity, complete success, honors

    I’m feeling it!

    • AlmightyJB

      You do reverse sear or just eat it like that?.

      • Sean

        Direct grill to medium rare.

      • TARDIS

        I like searing the fat on side before taking it off the grill.

    • Suthenboy

      I cant quite see the revolver well enough to ID it….

      • Sean

        K-22. Mid 50s.

      • Suthenboy

        Ahhhhhh. Wanna sell it?

      • Sean

        Not at at price. It was my grandfathers.

      • Sean

        *any

      • Suthenboy

        I have my father’s K-22, my own and my brother has my grandfather’s k-22.
        In my opinion it is the single most desirable handgun in existence.

        I was teasing actually. Smith still makes them and they can be had new.

        http://www.smith-wesson.com/firearms/model-17-masterpiece

      • Sean

        That’s some nice marbling.

  18. Suthenboy

    Can anyone explain what Hawaiian shirts have to do with….rebellion/white supremacy…whatever they are supposed to mean? They are Hawaiian FFS. Is this a real thing or just more made up bullshit by the left.
    I happen to like Hawaiian shirts and have a dozen or so of them.

    • Sean

      ?

    • Nephilium

      The statement I saw was that Bugaloo was getting banned in some forums, so people came up with work-arounds. One of them was Big Aloha, hence Hawaiian shirts. It’s even dumber then the OK sign and milk thing.

      • Suthenboy

        That is about what I thought. Fuck’em I am wearing my shirts.

    • EvilSheldon

      Hawaiian shirts have been de rigeur concealed carry cover garments since the ’80s – they’re lightweight, cut to wear un-tucked, and the patterns help to break up telltale bulges. It was already a bit of a joke when I started getting into the shooting sports culture around 2000.

      More recently, there’s been a longstanding trend in the gun culture to dress like you might be an off-duty Special Forces hitter, or maybe you were one in the past. Combine the aloha shirt with tan cargo pants, Salomons, Oakley M-Frames, and way too much facial hair, and you get the basic idea.

      And it’s Boogaloo -> Big Igloo or Big Luau.

      This is the first time I can remember being at the forefront of a meme. I wish it was something less lame, but that’s how it goes…

      • Nephilium

        Life imitates Burn Notice?

      • Suthenboy

        Word to the wise…dress to be invisible.

        No weird haircuts or clothes. Jeans or khakis. I do wear boots with steel toes but not obvious ones. Button up shirt, preferably long sleeve. Clean shaven.
        If you are carrying use an inside the pants holster and wear a light jacket.
        I never wear anything that makes me stand out or that attracts attention.

      • Cy

        I have a few good friends that are Ex-SF, they all wear Hawaiian shirts pretty regularly… Hell, I wear Hawaiian shirts pretty regularly! I don’t know anyone who thinks of it as anything other than comfortable. The last time I really saw any good boogaloo memes were around the Virginia Governor 2nd amendment debacle, which has ZERO to do with race.

    • Sean

      Doh!

    • westernsloper

      lol…..damn. That is going to take some paper work.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Tack on another three months service for the statement of charges.

      • Gustave Lytton

        And wait for the service wide memo to dummy cord barrels (with nylon cordage that will melt to the barrel after a couple of bursts).

      • cyto

        Took me three times through to catch what happened. I was trying to figure out what they were shooting at and how it related to fish and or barrels.

      • Drake

        Don’t know how high they were, but I would have seriously considered following that barrel.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      A Scorpio? The stars say paperwork and a boot tattooed to the ass.

    • EvilSheldon

      I had that happen with a silencer one time. Pretty fucking embarrassing, but at least I could run downrange and recover it.

  19. hayeksplosives

    Aries: The Moon – Hidden enemies, danger, calumny, darkness, terror, deception, occult forces, error.”

    Great. This along with having my work judged by morons.

    It was already set to be an “interesting” work week.

    • Suthenboy

      I am glad you are well enough to be back at work.

      • hayeksplosives

        Thank you! It was surprisingly pleasant to be in the office with almost my whole staff back last week.

        Got a lot of good work done.

    • westernsloper

      Great. This along with having my work judged by morons.

      Speaking of morons, I thought about your work the other day. I was doing what I do after a couple cups of coffee every morning and coughed (#smoker) while doing my #business. Said cough propelled said business out of me with extreme force such that I was done in record time and then carried on with the day. Muscle reaction and the lower intestine is something and I am thinking magnetic force could be used to constrict a flexible tube like chamber in a progression to propel a flexible if not viscous projectile many miles ending in a shit show on the receiving end so to speak. Pitch that one at the next meeting. It could even be non lethal. It might be a shitty idea butt it came to mind.

      *thinks twice before posting that……fuck it*

      • Tres Cool

        I called a friend of mine once, and he didnt sound well. I asked and he said “I sneezed while taking a shit. I may have ruptured something.”

      • hayeksplosives

        We’d have to call it Slimer after the green dude in Ghostbusters.

        Which Ghostbusters, you ask? Why, Ghostbusters of course. There is only one Guostbusters.

    • Suthenboy

      New Yorkers get in each other’s faces and yell at each other.
      Japanese stand back and bow and don’t scream at each other.
      I wonder if that is a factor in the difference in the infection rate in two densely populated areas.

      • Suthenboy

        Me too, but I know why.

      • Ted S.

        None of them are tapping their feet….

      • hayeksplosives

        No “wide stances” either.

      • hayeksplosives

        That is creepy.

        Also, I try never to turn my back on strangers in an enclosed space.

        I’m easy to find in a restaurant: I’ll be facing the door.

      • Suthenboy

        Smart girl.

      • Incentives Matter

        The gunfighter’s position. The spousal unit always takes that position in a restaurant. This is to the good, since she’s usually more observant than I am.

      • TARDIS

        Imagines Ms. Splosives with a compact 9mm tucked into a thigh garter.

      • EvilSheldon

        It reminds me of a bunch of naughty children being made to stand in the corner?

    • Tres Cool

      You mean naggers ?

  20. R C Dean

    “Trickery, artifice, subtlety, swindling, duplicity, fraud.“

    Why, it’s almost like I’m a lawyer who spends his days dealing with lawyers.

    • Mojeaux

      Dewey, Cheetum, and Howe.

      • Tres Cool

        Flywheel, Shyster, and Flywheel.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    I have been reading that Matt Taibbi piece Q linked this morning

    Each passing day sees more scenes that recall something closer to cult religion than politics. White protesters in Floyd’s Houston hometown kneeling and praying to black residents for “forgiveness… for years and years of racism” are one thing, but what are we to make of white police in Cary, North Carolina, kneeling and washing the feet of Black pastors? What about Nancy Pelosi and Chuck Schumer kneeling while dressed in “African kente cloth scarves”?

    There is symbolism here that goes beyond frustration with police or even with racism: these are orgiastic, quasi-religious, and most of all, deeply weird scenes, and the press is too paralyzed to wonder at it. In a business where the first job requirement was once the willingness to ask tough questions, we’ve become afraid to ask obvious ones.

    Suddenly, I desperately wish Hunter S Thompson were available to shed some light on this clown show.

      • westernsloper

        Bookmarked

    • EvilSheldon

      I have to wonder about the percentage of repressed sexual submissives among our political-media-academic class?

      • Suthenboy

        +1 riding crop

    • Suthenboy

      That is Matt Taibbi?

      Unless I have him mixed up with someone else it just doesnt compute.

      • Suthenboy

        Attempting to read that….nope. I don’t have him mixed up with someone else.

      • l0b0t

        I was a big fan of his work when he was an expat living in Russia. Moving back to the States and working at RS, he went (IMO) off the proggy deep end, but he still seems capable of far more critical thinking than his peers.

    • egould310

      *Takes great big swig of vodka and pineapple juice* To Hunter Thompson. Wherever he may be, I hope he’s making it weird.

  22. The Bearded Hobbit

    Midwest Glibs:

    We will be in your region visiting daughter #2 toward the end of this month and were wondering if anyone wanted to get together for drinks and dinner.

    We’ll be in Iowa City (Coralville) on the 23rd and will be spending several days that weekend in the Grand Rapids area. We will also be in Terre Haute, Joplin, Amarillo, Pueblo, and Kearney if anyone is close.

    jemezhobbit at the gmail, if interested.

    • kinnath

      email sent

  23. Gustave Lytton

    These fucking retards really haven’t thought out the consequences of pushing nondischargable race based ancestral sin.

    • Floridaman

      Some of them probably want the result, after all without actual racism to fight, they feel their lives have no meaning.

      • R C Dean

        If it really comes to an outright race war, the white wokesters will find themselves in the crossfire in no man’s land.

  24. Floridaman

    So as a Leo- Virgo Cusper, I guess I am going to succeed at something subtly?