Monday Afternoon Links

by | Jun 8, 2020 | Daily Links | 410 comments

I discovered something this weekend, my house is way too big, and we have way too much stuff. My wife took the boys to her mother’s for a long weekend and (obviously, she had my balls in her purse when she left) I thought it would be nice to clean the house for her, since she complains often that she hasn’t been able to since the boys have been staying home for the last two plus months. Mother. Fucker. Next time I clean this house it will be by piling up a bunch of shit in the driveway and having a bonfire. Now that pretty much everything down here open again, and going somewhere for a couple of hours is an options, I’m recommending we get a maid service.

I’m disappointed it isn’t 2^15.

Oh, sure. Let’s bring in Blue Helmets to disarm things.

This is really gonna hit the Karens where it hurts. “No justice, no peace, no brunch!

I guess sending DeBlasio would have sent the opposite message.

This is me, falling out of love with my house.

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

410 Comments

  1. Brochettaward

    I’m sorry this happen to the society…It hard to control myself. You probably call me ‘psychotic with a perversion for being first hang-up.’ Where this monster enter my brain I will never know. But, it here to stay. How does one cure himself? If you ask for help, that you have been first before so many people, they will laugh or hit the panic button and call the cops….I can’t stop it so, the monster goes on, and hurt me as wall as society. Maybe you can stop him. I can’t. Good luck hunting.

    • Ted S.

      No, we just call you a prick. :-p

    • Suthenboy

      ?

      • Ted S.

        !

      • Rhywun

        I think he’s been letting his cat run back and forth across his keyboard again.

      • B.P.

        The triumphant return of Agile Cyborg.

      • Jarflax

        Agile was the happy hippy lunatic. Brochetta is not a happy hippy.

      • Hyperion

        Another Smith among us?

    • SDF-7

      If that’s a quote I’m going to need to use a Lifeline and ask the audience here…

      • Florida Man

        I was guessing it’s from American psycho because of his avatar.

      • Ted S.

        I had a friend who went on Millionaire, got a first-tier question about when Thanksgiving is, asked the audience… and they got it wrong, leaving said friend with $0.

        Fifteen years on and somebody commented on it last Thanksgiving.

      • SDF-7

        Well now you’ve gone and done it… I just have to link this.

    • gbob

      Popehat linked to an old Reason article about the woodchipper incident back in 2015. Who was first? You, you bastard. This has passed from a hobby to a dangerous obsession for you.

  2. Ted S.

    Oh, sure. Let’s bring in Blue Helmets to disarm things.

    They’ll disarm the inner-city blacks and then rape them.

    • Drake

      A blue helmet and a FAL would look good over my fireplace. Match the Hessian Andirons in the fireplace in terms of theme.

      • Suthenboy

        yeah, I could add to my collection as well.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Or just sit in their compound and turn up the volume on the tv.

    • Rhywun

      Lawyer Asks United Nations to Intervene

      I didn’t think this whole thing could get any more farcical.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      And then they’ll spread some cholera.

  3. Q Continuum

    “Let’s bring in Blue Helmets to disarm things.”

    Local women have to get (forcibly) laid somehow.

    • Rebel Scum

      It’s not ‘rape’, it’s surprise sex.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Apparently, Silence == Consent.

        Duct tape == Silence.

        There is a transitive property thing going there.

      • gbob

        Theres a song with the lyric “silence is golden, but duct tape is silver”

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      I thought it was now their duty to get laid by black men. Lean back and think of George Floyd.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Isn’t that the Purple Helmets that take care of things like that?

      • Q Continuum

        +1 yogurt slinger

  4. Rebel Scum

    George Floyd’s Lawyer Asks United Nations to Intervene in Case, Make Police Reform Recommendations

    Fuck. Off.

    • TARDIS

      UN in the house? All bluster aside; I see a blue helmet in my neighborhood, somebody is getting a .308 round to the neck or double aught to the face.

      It might be me, but if lose-lose is the only choice, fuck it.

      • Spudalicious

        My guess is the average red state suburban neighborhood is armed better than the UN.

      • Spudalicious

        And certainly better disciplined.

    • Not an Economist

      The Floyd family attorney was the attorney for the Trayvon Martin family. The one that released the old photo to gin up outrage.

  5. Count Potato

    “while the ship’s touchscreen interface is rendered using Chromium and JavaScript”

    Yikes!

    “The SpaceX engineers didn’t divulge what computing hardware (CPUs and GPUs) the company uses on its spacecraft, but it’s likely the computers aren’t powerful enough to support ML applications.”

    So you are saying they are from China?

    • Brett L

      but it’s likely the computers aren’t powerful enough to support ML applications

      Why in the world would you put machine learning in the control programs of a spacecraft? That seems like a terrible idea. Has this author never seen 2001?

      • Sensei

        “I’m sorry Brett, I’m afraid I can’t do that…”

      • Bobarian LMD

        ♫ ♪ “Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer true….”♪

      • R C Dean

        Why in the world would you put machine learning in the control programs of a spacecraft? That seems like a terrible idea.

        Boeing can confirm.

    • Rhywun

      Yikes!

      Yeah, what kind of masochists did they tap to work on that.

  6. Ed Wuncler

    “The push behind moving protests to suburbs and upscale neighborhoods is because those are seen as areas of privilege and wealth, one of the Tampa organizers said Sunday, telling a reporter “they need to know our pain.”

    Oh yeah, this will get white suburbanites on your side. After the video of Floyd’s death went public for that one day, the whole country was united with sadness and anger but the usual suspects managed to fuck that shit. If I didn’t know any better, groups like BLM and the Democrats want to sow division and not actually solve anything.

    • Chipwooder

      I’m pretty sure this brunch thing already was done in the first BLM protests after Ferguson.

      • Ed Wuncler

        And it will fail to convince anyone this time around too.

    • R C Dean

      The push behind moving protests to suburbs and upscale neighborhoods is because those are seen as areas of privilege and wealth with much better looting

  7. Rebel Scum

    “no justice, no peace, no brunch.”

    The Karens are not going to like that.

    • Ed Wuncler

      but but…we’re on your side!

    • grrizzly

      Haven’t you noticed that there was “no brunch” in many parts of the country for months but the Karens didn’t mind?

  8. Count Potato

    “Protesters chanted “no justice, no peace, no brunch” in the trendy Hyde Park and SoHo neighborhoods of Tampa on Sunday, while protests were also held in areas like the Homewood neighborhood of Chicago, the Buckhead area of Atlanta and the Miami Lakes suburb in south Florida—all among the more upscale neighborhoods in their respective metropolitan areas.”

    Lazy ass alien need to fix the simulator. This getting like a dumb episode of Black Mirror.

    • SDF-7

      Given they previously looted in Buckhead, I would expect that didn’t go over so well. But then again… being Buckhead, they’ll probably prove me wrong. Lots of international finance stuff around there, iirc — so wouldn’t surprise me if there’s lots of college inflicted self-loathing or whatnot.

      • Rhywun

        Good source of indulgences, I would imagine.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Can I write off these losses?

  9. Drake

    The Bee:
    CNN: ‘Death Star Destroys Alderaan In Mostly Peaceful Demonstration’

    “The demonstration of the superweapon was mostly calm, mostly peaceful,” said a CNN reporter on a deck of the Death Star as millions of voices cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. “Everyone on the bridge here was very orderly. Only a couple of people have been Force-choked. Most are fine.”

  10. Q Continuum

    “No justice, no peace, no brunch”

    The Trump campaign thanks you for your contribution.

    • bacon-magic

      ^^^
      When the Karens and White guilted soccer moms start getting inconvenienced it’s going to be a no vote come November.

      • Tonio

        It’s going to be delicious. It won’t show up in the polls, but there will be so many suburban PC yuppies with (reluctant) Biden 2020 stickers who will quietly and secretly vote for Trump this fall.

      • bacon-magic

        I will have to watch as many live feeds of the results at same time. I might die laughing.

      • Hyperion

        Yep, they love them some social signaling, but remember they are far, far removed from all the problems they sympathize with. If you bring those problems to their little Peyton Places, the result is NOT going to be what democrats think it will be. Man, they are dumb as shit.

    • Hyperion

      Yeah, they lose the Suburbs, they … this isn’t a well thought out move, is it?

  11. SDF-7

    64k Linux nodes is enough for anyone…. (more seriously, all the thought that I kind of wish I worked for Space-X during Demo-2 comes back when I see their using PREEMPT_RT Linux, just customized… and make a big deal of having CS knowledge in the article… Hell, that kind of thing is not very far from my alley if they needed some virtual memory and process management tweaks… Sigh…)

    On a different serious note, 1) Given the Obama-era conspiracy theories on handing over control to the UN, I would think actually inviting in UN oversight on domestic policing would trigger the backlash they seem to be begging for… and 2) Yeah, who in their right mind thinks the UN *knows* anything about policing, anyway?

    All that said, good afternoon Brett — I’m sure it may fall in to the “can’t talk about it” state… but it would be nice to know if the problems last week resolved satisfactorily. Just be nice to know if you’re going to be hauled off by lawyers or whatnot…

      • Ted S.

        I’m sure they know about proper threading.

      • B.P.

        UN Peacekeepers in Congo “hold record” for rape, sex abuse? Do they get championship rings or something?

      • Tonio

        STEVE SMITH HAVE RESPECT FOR PROFESSIONAL WORK.

      • Hyperion

        Hey dude, where do you think the term ‘cop’ came from to start with? And you think the limeys don’t know about cops?

    • Brett L

      All that said, good afternoon Brett — I’m sure it may fall in to the “can’t talk about it” state… but it would be nice to know if the problems last week resolved satisfactorily. Just be nice to know if you’re going to be hauled off by lawyers or whatnot…

      Well, there is a strategy and effort in place to remedy, but it has to do with a shocking lack of compliance with certain information privacy, of which everyone but a single developer, gone before it was discovered, was unaware. I hesitate to say more due to security, but if I ever hear that it is fixed (I am leaving the company for a new job on Friday), I will tell a more specific story without mentioning names. The HIPAA equivalent would be storing SSNs in unencrypted Excel files and displaying them on reports casually. The sort of thing that makes someone who is aware of the consequences have sphincter palpitations.

      • R C Dean

        The HIPAA equivalent would be storing SSNs in unencrypted Excel files and displaying them on reports casually.

        *fetches machete from car, heads down hall to Health Information Management*

      • Brett L

        See, this is why my sphincter puckered. RC has a measured and reasonable response to this. Other responses include carpet bombing IT to a smoking crater, nuking it from orbit, just to be safe, and other even messier ways of making sure that Feds and other people’s lawyers never get involved. “Do you think sending the heads of all the IT guys are enough, or should we send the head of everyone who was ever in a room where such a report was viewed?” is a common question.

      • leon

        You were storing User passwords in Plain text on the database weren’t you.

      • Brett L

        Bro. If only.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I have a friend who once heard about a F200 company with all 50,000 employees in an HR spreadsheet with name, birthdate, some other info, and salary info. I don’t think there was SSNs. And it was not password protected or restricted on the corporate wide document repository.

    • grrizzly

      He looks too skinny for that.

  12. Trolleric the Goth

    UN peacekeepers? on US soil?

    what in the actual fuck?

    • Count Potato

      Well, we paid for them.

      • Trolleric the Goth

        but listening to the UN and letting their stooges run around is only for the loser countries!

    • Chipwooder

      Nancy couldn’t stand up afterwards. Needed a staffer to haul her ancient ass upright.

      I really would like to see a “journalist” ask these brave congresscritters which party has run all these cities with abusive police departments for quite some time.

      • db

        I think it’s the party that spent decades trying to look “tough on crime” because they perceived that as the strongest argument against themselves by their opponents?

    • Certified Public Asshat

      What’s with the cultural appropriation?

  13. Count Potato

    “Among plans put forward by Black Lives Matter, MPD150 and other activists to replace police are:

    Mental health responders to attend mental health crisis in place of armed police
    Street outreach teams, more shelters and affordable housing to help solve homelessness and stop the homeless from being criminalized
    Traffic stops to be eliminated entirely, with traffic violations dealt with via. mail
    Community members to attend domestic violence calls, to help intervene and establish long-term safety for the individuals
    Specialized physical and emotional support for victims of sexual violence
    Investing in prevention of sex trafficking to end economic and social conditions that lead to deeply rooted vulnerabilities
    The legalization of marijuana to stop incarceration for the ‘harmless’ drug
    Better handling of drug offences to stop ‘criminalizing of communities of color’
    Decriminalization of sex work and formation of an independent union to ensure individuals have insurance, child care and safety precautions
    Restorative justice (meetings between victim and offender) to be used to deal with property crimes such as theft and burglary ”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8398309/Who-replaces-police-BLM-activists-call-officers-replaced-social-workers.html

    This list keeps getting longer and longer.

    • Brochettaward

      I’m sure nothing could possibly go wrong with this incredibly complex patchwork of bureaucracy in charge of things.

    • Q Continuum

      “Decriminalization of sex work”

      With you so far…

      “formation of an independent union”

      Oh fuck off.

      All the rest of these just seem like opportunities for graft.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Big Bertha has seniority. Have fun.

      • TARDIS

        Me: “You smell funny.”
        Bertha: “I have a non-critical infection. Finish, or I will file a grievance.”

      • Chipwooder

        Who exactly are the hookers going to pursue collective bargaining with – pimps?

      • Q Continuum

        Last time I pursued collective bargaining with a hooker I ended up with the clap.

    • Florida Man

      I can get behind some of that. With cameras is there really any reason to pull people over? Also the decriminalize vice stuff. Probably also the mental health people for the mental people.

      • Chipwooder

        “Restorative justice” is total bullshit, though.

      • blackjack

        It’s all bullshit. I hear: BLAH,BLAH,BLAH, vote for the most socialist candidate, BLAH, BLAH, anyone but Trump, BLAH,BLAH,BLAH…

      • B.P.

        What, you don’t want to have a sit-down meeting about why you’re a racist because you’re angry that someone stole all of the stuff out of your garage.

        I understand the idea behind restorative justice is to get offenders to see, on a human level, the damage they’ve caused to a victim. I’ve actually met with offenders who seemed very contrite about their crimes. I’m not sure how effective it is on a wide basis, though.

      • Brochettaward

        With cameras is there really any reason to pull people over?

        Redlight cameras sure work great! I’m all for reduced traffic stops. They mostly exist as a revenue stream for police departments and its the number one way to decrease interactions with cops. But falling back on cameras isn’t really a good solution.

        Probably also the mental health people for the mental people.

        What do you do with the mental person who is a violent threat to themselves or others at that particular moment? There’s a reason mental health facilities have their own security.

        There are situations that call for trained first responders. Not case workers.

      • Q Continuum

        “mental health people”

        AKA firearm confiscation agents.

      • Florida Man

        I worked psyche wards and noticed that mental patients escalate when staff escalate. I assume a large majority of the mentally ill could be managed with deescalation techniques. Obviously not all, but you have less schizophrenics shot in a shower this way.

      • Florida Man

        I’ll have to watch it on my break. Thanks.

    • leon

      Meh. Alot of those don’t seem so bad. Why cops are being called in for mental health crisis is beyond me. They freaking shoot the guy 80% of the time.

      • Chipwooder

        Kind of leaves a lot of holes, namely what happens with assault, murder, armed robbery, rape, etc.

      • leon

        Those are all just property crimes, so really you shouldn’t even complain about them /Marxist

      • Count Potato

        Because if some crazy asshole is doing something dangerous, EMS calls the cops.

      • Chipwooder

        Related to that – in this brave new world, good fucking luck getting an ambulance to come to certain neighborhoods.

      • C. Anacreon

        Exactly. Unfortunately sometimes mental illness can become so acute that there is little option other than involuntary detention to bring a person to a psychiatric facility, and social workers are not going to be the ones bringing these individuals into the ambulance. These patients are not just someone being misunderstood, they can be floridly psychotic, brandishing weapons, physically assaultive, delirious, and/or putting themselves and those around them in great danger. Most police would prefer to get these individuals to psychiatric care rather than jail, although of course there are bad cops as in any situation. One thing that has been working very well in many police departments nationwide is to get their officers CIT- Crisis Intervention Training — to learn how to de-escalate and hopefully bring patients in willingly. Another approach that can work well is mobile crisis teams, which are mental health professionals paired with police to go to mental health emergency calls, with the mental health professional doing their best to engage while the police are there for backup, only getting involved when things get violent.

      • Suthenboy

        ” Alot of those don’t seem so bad.”

        Commies always frame their wants in terms that get you to think that. My standard reaction to any commie demand, even if they claim to have the cure for cancer, is ‘Fuck off’.

    • grrizzly

      Two and a half are not bad.

      • Ted S.

        Out of three and three-quarters?

      • R C Dean

        Some of them already already are pretty prevalent:

        Specialized physical and emotional support for victims of sexual violence

        Some are already being implemented and found counterproductive:

        Street outreach teams, more shelters and affordable housing to help solve homelessness and stop the homeless from being criminalized

        Some of them have been tried and found lacking:

        traffic violations dealt with via. mail

        Red light cameras, anyone?

      • Bobarian LMD

        traffic violations dealt with via. mail

        How else are you gonna pay for these solutions?

    • R C Dean

      Restorative justice (meetings between victim and offender) to be used to deal with property crimes such as theft and burglary ”

      Does that include restoring what was stolen or destroyed to the original owner?

      Decriminalization of sex work and formation of an independent union to ensure individuals have insurance, child care and safety precautions

      Do these idiots actually believe sex workers have corporate employers that you can negotiate benefits and work rules with?

    • PBRstreetgang

      I went to BLM rally on Sunday. One speaker, a HS student, talked about the concept of restorative justice, then a few seconds later said anyone accused of making a racist statement at any point in their school career must have it placed on their permanent record and the school have an affirmative obligation to disclose it to all colleges that student applies to. The students were really impressive public speakers (seriously), but they don’t do nuance.

      • Q Continuum

        Can’t we just use a big red “A” instead?

      • Rebel Scum
      • SDF-7

        Because rebellious teenagers acting out and trying to get attention never happens and we should both assume they mean every word and blame them for the rest of their lives.

        No redemption, no mercy — that’s one great justice system they want to build up… no way it ever gets abused.

      • R C Dean

        Why bother with tracking and disclosing racist statements? People already disclose their race on college applications; the colleges already know who ticked the box for “White”, so they already know who the racists are.

      • Rhywun

        Fucking Maoists.

      • Ed Wuncler

        The permanent record thing is scary as fuck. I would be fucked if these assholes heard half the shit I said as a teenager.

      • Tundra

        Oh yeah?

    • Urthona

      I agree with many of those.

    • db

      How about:

      Decriminalize everything that isn’t abuse of power, rape, murder, theft, fraud, or closely circumscribed variants of those.
      Refocus LE spending on investigation and prosecution of those crimes above.

    • Gadfly

      Traffic stops to be eliminated entirely, with traffic violations dealt with via. mail

      I predict a surprising increase in lost mail.

  14. Dr. Fronkensteen

    Is it just me or does anyone else think that it’s a mistake to outlaw choke holds for police? I know they can be dangerous especially if the suspect has an underlying condition but it’s better than trying to knock someone unconscious with a fist or baton and can be better than a taser in some instances. But in trying to apprehend someone I think a Brazilian Jujitsu style choke hold can be the best option.

    • Brett L

      Well, sure. As long as they actually let go of the person after they lose consciousness, put them in a recovery position, and get them immediate medical help if there isn’t a rapid return to consciousness… so no. They really can’t be trusted to execute them.

    • Drake

      Back in my young wild days, it was know that fighting cops could include a large dose of mace / pepper-spray and some shots from the truncheon. So, we didn’t fight with cops.

      • blackjack

        In ’92, all my friends were amazed that anyone cared. We all knew that if we ran from the cops and refused to submit, we’d get beaten too. Pretty sure Rodney knew that too and just did it because he was drunk. All these people were shocked, but the usual suspects were not surprised in the least. I never got beat like that, but I got smaked around and I never did anything close. Worst I did was drive on a suspended license. Hit with flashlights more than a few times.

      • Ted S.

        I’m so glad I was studying in Russia when the Rodney King riots happened.

      • bacon-magic

        Commie spy confirmed.

      • grrizzly

        Does it mean that you missed both ГКЧП and the 1993 crisis?

      • Ted S.

        Yes. I was there on a semester study abroad program the spring of sophomore year in college in 1992.

        Late March in St. Petersburg was the worst. I can handle cold, but that was right around freezing, with a heavy wet snow coming from off the Gulf of Finland.

      • grrizzly

        I grew up in Novgorod. Relatively close to St. Petersburg but no Gulf of Finland effect.

      • Q Continuum

        Legit question: I took one semester of Russian in college and I remember the alphabet and a few other things but not much. Is taking another class the best way to pick that up again, or do you recommend another resource?

      • R C Dean

        Rent your spare room to a Russian model?

      • Q Continuum

        Your jib, the cut is pleasing.

    • Chipwooder

      As if that would satisfy anyone.

    • Drake

      Fuck off limey cunt

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Piers Morgan, noted ageist.

    • bacon-magic

      We stopped doing that around 1776. Fuck you and your Queen.

      • TARDIS

        Fuck you and your Queen.

        And all those who give a tinker’s damn about any “royals”.

    • Rhywun

      “Superman, where are you?!”

      • Gustave Lytton

        Hah hah! I was just thinking that same thing.

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      “He don’t know me very well, do he?”

    • prolefeed

      8.

    • Drake

      In Hollywood 2020? No way he doesn’t take the blue pill.

    • TARDIS

      ^^This^^

    • Chipwooder

      Even the first one wasn’t that great. The effects were groundbreaking for the time and the visual style was cool, but the story was always silly.

      • Drake

        I liked the first one – probably because I walked into the theater with no expectations and it wasn’t a dam reboot of something I’ve already seen.

      • Chipwooder

        Well, that was much more common in 1999 than today. I remember reading an article that pointed out that while not one of the top 10 grossing movies of 2019 was an original, six of the top 10 from 1999 were.

  15. Florida Man

    I had a cousin murdered a few years back and evidently his story is on a Netflix show called “I am a killer”. It was really weird watching a story about a family member’s murder. Also, I suspect there is a lot more to the story that didn’t make it on air. The episode was “in her hands” and my niece randomly came across it and told me about it.

    https://www.imdb.com/title/tt11714176/

    • Ted S.

      Why did you have him murdered?

      • Florida Man

        Correcting my grammar…

    • Chipwooder

      “I killed him because he wanted me to kill him”

      That’s a, er, interesting defense.

      • Florida Man

        Spoiler alert: it didn’t workout for her.

  16. Pope Jimbo

    Not everyone in Minneapolis is dumb.

    A Minneapolis manufacturing company has decided to leave the city, with the company’s owner saying he can’t trust public officials who allowed his plant to burn during the recent riots. The move will cost the city about 50 jobs.

    “They don’t care about my business,” said Kris Wyrobek, president and owner of 7-Sigma Inc., which has operated since 1987 at 2843 26th Av. in south Minneapolis. “They didn’t protect our people. We were all on our own.”

    Wonder how many others will sneak out too, without being public about it.

    • Ted S.

      They were still dumb enough to name the company “7-Sigma”.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        I thought it only whet to 6-sigma. I guess this company goes to 7.

      • Ted S.

        Does it go to 11?

    • RAHeinlein

      Damn white supremacists.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Clearly “our people” is a racist phrase. No way could it just mean the company’s employees or community.

    • Brochettaward

      Yes, it really was a crazy thing to do. You risked catching coronavirus or passing it on, as well as damaging your marriage.

      • SDF-7

        “A thermonuclear exchange between China and the US seems unlikely to succeed in wiping out the coronavirus, and could have some other unfortunate effects…”

    • Trolleric the Goth

      …wow.

      at least the husband stood up for himself.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Believe all woman. If she says she’s not a slut after sleeping with two guys then she’s not a slut.

    • C. Anacreon

      What was the scary clown face among all those symbols of America supposed to represent? Gerald Ford?

      • Tundra

        John Wayne Gacy

  17. Pope Jimbo

    How would defunding the MPD work? City Council member Jeremiah Ellison explains

    Well not exactly “explained” if you ask me. He weasels around the topic. They are starting a conversation, etc, etc. If there is a silver lining to this situation it may be that it is going to cause the Left to eat a lot of its own. The crazies in office realize that they can’t just toss the police out and magically it will be unicorns and rainbows, but they have to try to keep the other crazies inside the tent voting for them. I doubt they will be able to pull it off. The crazies who aren’t in office and don’t have any real responsibilities won’t settle for anything less than no police department.

    I don’t think that they realize that they are just a small vocal minority in the city. If push comes to shove, I think most city dwellers will be OK with squashing the next riot in the bud.

    “Defunding MPD, by the time we’re ready to do that, we will have a fully formed new public safety strategy in place,” Ellison said. “There are things that we’re going to have to do in the next couple of weeks and months, right? We’ve got the budget coming up. We’ve got this huge budget shortfall because of coronavirus. We also have other public safety strategies that are not the police that we’ve sort of failed to fund but they do work. Those are things that we can kind of get putting our resources behind right away. But you’re right. The work of creating a whole new safety apparatus is going to take some time.”

    • R C Dean

      Defunding MPD, by the time we’re ready to do that, we will have a fully formed new public safety strategy in place

      There you go. This is about establishing innumerable new nannies, busybodies, and quasi-LEOs in addition to the current cops. Who won’t be going anywhere.

    • Tundra

      There is still a ton of money down there. I think the business people got caught napping. I suspect this ‘conversation’ will shortly be nuked.

    • Brochettaward

      This shit is going to be the death knell to real police reform, as much as there was an actual movement to reform policing to begin with.

      • blackjack

        This whole episode is the death knell of police reform. That’s what pisses me off. “Systemic racism” doesn’t exist and cannot be fixed. Cops killing people for sport probably could have been. It was never designed to fix anything. Except maybe democrat chances at winning in Nov.

      • leon

        I could say that are certainly systemicaly disparate outcomes between what happens in urban vs suburban vs rural areas, which ends up impacting racial groups differently.

        I was listening to some libertarian podcast today (still need to finish it), and the guys were talking about racisim in society, and they were talking about how just being in society you take in some level of bias/racisim. The problem i have with that is that the levels they are talking about are at the level of stereotypes, of which you see across any categorization.

  18. Bobarian LMD

    I discovered something this weekend, my house is way too big,

    Welcome to my world.

    I have a 20 yard dumpster sitting in my driveway, for all the shit I’m dragging out of the house. I’ve got it half full and I ain’t even done with the garage yet.

    • R C Dean

      Having moved every three to five years for . . . a long time, we were able to keep the surplus somewhat under control.

      Still, we did a sweep last year and took several loads* to the Salvation Army, and I dumped a couple of loads in the dumpsters at work. I could probably still get a few loads out of the house and garage.

      *Back of the JF, seats down, full to the ceiling.

  19. R C Dean

    Pondering a significant order of 12 gauge ammo for defensive use. 2 3/4 inch shells only.

    What say the commentariat?

    • Brett L

      #2 buck. 25 quarter inch pellets. high penetration up close, low penetration across the street, and even getting winged at 15 yards is going to change people’s minds about coming closer.

      • Tres Cool

        If it hadnt been for that damn canoe tipping over, I would have a 500A that I kept loaded with alternating 00 and slug.

      • Q Continuum

        “slug”

        When you positively, absolutely *need* to create a cantaloupe-sized exit wound.

      • Tres Cool

        Unless I fail to properly evaluate the situation, or have bad trigger control, that wound isnt really my problem is it?

        I do like Brett’s recommendation of #2 buck, tho.

        /soft on crime

    • LCDR_Fish

      Wanted some PDX1 but they were out of stock – although I did get PDX1 .45. Also picked up some low velocity slugs.

      Btw, what’s the verdict on using generic 12ga target ammo for skeet? Assuming only real restrictions would be at a range.

    • bacon-magic

      #00 buck. Shoot a 5 gallon bucket full of water to see the results.

    • Mad Scientist

      More ammo is always a good thing.

    • EvilSheldon

      There’s one generally accepted best choice – 8-pellet Federal Flite Control #00 Buckshot. Good luck on finding any.

      The 9-pellet Federal FC #00 isn’t bad, but it tends to throw that ninth pellet out of the pattern.

      Hornady Critical Defense #00 is supposed to be pretty good.

      Do not get anything smaller than #00, or with more than nine pellets. The pattern density and penetration will suffer.

      • Chipwooder

        I’ve looked and looked for that Federal 8 pellet and never seen any

      • EvilSheldon

        Buckshot of any kind is tough to find, at the moment. Honestly now might not be the best time to stock up.

        But yeah, the Federal LE133 is like finding a four-leafed clover.

        You know, it might be worth looking at spending some cash on a Vang Comp barrel package. Those barrels tend to work well with any brand of buckshot…

  20. Pope Jimbo

    Winning hearts and winning minds, it is the core mission of the Minneapolis PD

    Two law enforcement agencies acknowledged Monday that officers patrolling Minneapolis during the height of recent protests knifed the tires of numerous vehicles parked and unoccupied in at least two locations in the midst of the unrest.

    Video and photo images posted on the news outlet Mother Jones show officers in military-style uniforms puncturing tires in the Kmart parking lot at Lake Street and Nicollet Avenue on May 30.

    Images from S. Washington Avenue at Interstate 35W, also showed officers with knives deflating the tires of two unoccupied cars with repeated jabs on May 31. Department of Public Safety spokesman Bruce Gordon confirmed that tires were cut in “a few locations.”

    “State Patrol troopers strategically deflated tires … in order to stop behaviors such as vehicles driving dangerously and at high speeds in and around protesters and law enforcement,” Gordon said.

    Gordon said the patrol also targeted vehicles “that contained items used to cause harm during violent protests” such as rocks, concrete and sticks.

    “While not a typical tactic, vehicles were being used as dangerous weapons and inhibited our ability to clear areas and keep areas safe where violent protests were occurring,” he said. As in all operations of this size, there will be a review about how these decisions were made.”

    Fuck. Maybe they should be defunded.

    • Sensei

      That is some awesome spin!

    • Tres Cool

      “… officers in military-style uniforms puncturing tires in the Kmart parking lot at Lake Street and Nicollet Avenue on May 30.”

      HOLD UP- you still have a KMart?

      /jelly

      • C. Anacreon

        ♫ K-Mart is your saving store, where your dollar buys you more….. ♫

        Blue light special on spare tires!

    • Sean

      I’ve never heard of that “tactic” before from cops.

      • Tundra

        Well, up until Baby Bou Bou I had no idea flash bang grenades were effective in subduing potentially dangerous toddlers either.

    • R C Dean

      “State Patrol troopers strategically deflated tires … in order to stop behaviors such as vehicles driving dangerously and at high speeds in and around protesters and law enforcement,” Gordon said.

      That sounds like unmitigated bullshit to me.

      Gordon said the patrol also targeted vehicles “that contained items used to cause harm during violent protests” such as rocks, concrete and sticks.

      That sounds more defensible, but also prone to over-inclusion.

    • Jarflax

      When your cops arrest people by suffocating them, control traffic by slashing tires, you are the only state to vote for Mondale in 84, and your congressjihadi married her gay brother it’s time to pack it in. Stop trying to out California Sacramento.

  21. Q Continuum

    “‘What if, in the middle of the night, my home is broken into. Who do I call?’ CNN’s Alisyn Camerota asked.

    ‘Yes, I mean I hear that loud and clear from a lot of my neighbors, and myself, too, and I know that that comes from a place of privilege,’ Bender replied.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8399101/Minneapolis-city-council-president-defends-disbanding-police.html

    Cool. So I guess that means you’re in favor of lifting all firearm restrictions and strong Stand Your Ground laws then?

    • R C Dean

      What gibberish. What does “being privileged” have to do with not wanting your home broken into in the middle of the night?

      • Brochettaward

        I suspect there’s a silent majority of blacks in these communities who do not want this bullshit.

      • Rhywun

        STFU, racist.

    • Ted S.

      “‘What if, in the middle of the night, my home is broken into. Who do I call?’ CNN’s Alisyn Camerota asked.

      Ghostbusters?

      • Trolleric the Goth

        the coroner?

        gonna be a lot of slow singin’, and flower bringin’ if my burglar alarm starts ringin’

      • Q Continuum

        Shoot, shovel and shut up?

      • Chipwooder

        Gun, hefty bag, shovel, lime. Some assembly required.

      • Homple

        There’ll be singing in your grandma’s church and you won’t hear it.

    • Drake

      The libtard religion doesn’t offer answers, just feelings of superiority.

    • Brett L

      Remember, when seconds count, the police are only minutes away.

      • leon

        Minutes? fuck it, the mayor is going to tell them to stand down so that you can die, so he can signal how much he loves leftist talking points.

      • Drake

        Is this the pilot of a new Purge series?

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Again.

      The Trump campaign thanks you for your contribution.

      • C. Anacreon

        Watch the next impeachment attempt being over Trump not declaring Democratic bonehead moves as election in-kind contributions.

  22. Tres Cool

    I dont want to dox a fellow Glib, but I think I may have found Jarflax.

    • Pope Jimbo

      lol. Can they replace Biden with this guy?

      • Q Continuum

        Pussy solves everything. It is known.

      • Chipwooder

        My wife’s reaction to anyone who’s being an asshole is that person doesn’t get laid enough

      • Q Continuum

        Hopefully she’s doing her part to keep you a friendly guy.

      • Chipwooder

        I’m still a crab, though, despite her heroic effort

      • Tres Cool

        Try being a Mormon and get double (or triple) dose ?

      • leon

        I don’t know how they did it. Keeping 1 wife pleased is hard enough work.

      • Mojeaux

        I’m going to go out on a limb here: I’ll bet there were plenty of sister wives engaging in non-sisterly activities amongst themselves.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I would have thought that guys who get lots of strange would be far more likely to be crabby

      • C. Anacreon

        Pussy solves everything. It is known.

        An old friend used to have a sticker on his car that read “PDYC” in big block letters. Everyone would ask him which yacht club that was. He only rarely confessed that it stood for “Pussy Drives You Crazy”.

    • Jarflax

      This is because of my comments about Dayton the other day isn’t it?

    • Ted S.

      AXECOP? Somebody who polices the use of body wash?

      • Pope Jimbo

        The Altar Boys and I used to watch that and laugh our asses off.

      • Tres Cool

        Im not sure how I feel about Nick Offerman (Axe Cop’s voice) and his politics. But he doesnt overtly cram them in people’s faces, is a bona fide woodworker, and is funny as hell.

        The best part of the scripts is that they were written by a child. Or at least co-written; it was dude’s little brother.

      • Tres Cool

        “If we hustled, we could pull in before the sun went down,” said Offerman at the Television Critics Association press tour this past January, sporting a green tie and perfectly tailored suit that made the other actors milling the hotel hallways look like they got fitted at a factory outlet.

        That writer is swooning a bit too much. Almost a ‘swoosh’.

    • R C Dean

      I believe all he has to do is tell them he will report that he has offered to bring them back on. At that point, unemployment benefits go away.

  23. Idle Hands

    https://www.wave3.com/2020/06/08/gov-beshear-announces-plans-provide-percent-health-coverage-black-residents/

    FRANKFORT, Ky. (WAVE) – Gov. Andy Beshear on Monday announced the state will begin working toward correcting inequalities in health care coverage across the state.

    During his daily updates in Frankfort the last three months, Beshear has given a breakdown of the racial makeup of the state’s COVID-19 cases. Throughout the crisis, cases involving black patients have outpaced the state’s black population.

    “We are gonna begin an effort to cover 100 percent of our individuals in our black and African-American communities,” the governor said. “We’re gonna be putting dollars behind it.”

    • RAHeinlein

      Health coverage specifically for black residents. How the hell did this guy get elected Governor anywhere, let alone Kentucky?

      • C. Anacreon

        probably because he says ‘gonna’

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      How does that not violate the equal protection clause?

      • Tres Cool

        Check your privilege, race-tard!

    • Tundra

      Prior to Glassman’s tweet, CrossFit was already getting criticism for staying silent about Floyd’s death and the Black Lives Matter protest while other brands and gyms shared statements of support. On Saturday, many gyms did a special workout in honor of Floyd, created by Stacy Pugh of Black Power Cleans Lifting Club, “to uplift, honor, and acknowledge the black CrossFit community” in opposition to CrossFit’s silence.

      Fuck off.

    • leon

      I don’t call that racist.

    • Brochettaward

      Corporate America has very clearly picked a side in the culture wars. Expressing views that are held by many if not a majority of people in this country will get branded a racist and unpersoned.

    • RAHeinlein

      After the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation shared a statement on Twitter about the Black Lives Matter movement and why “racism is a public health issue,” Glassman replied, “It’s FLOYD-19.”

      Boy, that’s some big-league racism.

    • grrizzly

      More than 300 gyms have dropped their affiliations after CEO Greg Glassman tweeted a racist remark about George Floyd and Black Lives Matter…
      Reebok, which has been the exclusive maker of all official CrossFit apparel and the title sponsor of the annual CrossFit games for the last 10 years, said that they would drop their affiliation once their contract ends this year…
      Several other sponsors, including Rogue, which manufacturers barbells and other weightlifting equipment used in CrossFit, have also dropped their partnerships…

      Moving to Belarus looks more and more reasonable.

      • Pope Jimbo

        That is my fantasy. Somehow Musk comes up with FTL travel and a new frontier is opened for people to escape to.

        How fast would civilization on Earth collapse if the silent producers all decided to leave for some other planet where they could be left alone?

      • dbleagle

        Galt’s Star?

      • B.P.

        The cult of Crossfit collides with the cult of Woke.

    • R C Dean

      Same here.

      As noted, the reaction from the CrossFit affiliates to his tweet has been pretty extreme – many are dropping their affiliations, including some of the OG CrossFit gyms. The tweet was almost perfectly designed to offend everyone with its rather terse ambiguity, replying to the people saying racism is a public health issue with “Its FLOYD-19”. That pisses of the people who are mad because their gyms were closed by idiot governors, and it was seen as mocking or dismissive by the wokescolds (as near as I can tell). I, for one, can’t figure out what he was trying to say, but I don’t follow him (or CrossFit inside baseball) that closely – I get occasional updates from Mrs. Dean, who is an instructor at a CrossFit gym.

      I think Glassman is just reaping the whirlwind he sowed over the last few years with a lot of CrossFit affiliates and athletes. He has torched just about all the goodwill he had built up over the years. Absent that, I doubt the reaction would be as extreme as it has been.

      • B.P.

        I assume Crossfit is loading up a fire hose full of money to spray at some Marxist organization for penance.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The brand identity dependent companies like Reebok are running scared because of low revenue from COVID and a highly fickle, overly sensitive customer base.

        If he didn’t know that was going to happen, he shouldn’t have that job.

      • Tundra

        I still don’t get what he was trying to say.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        As far as I can tell, he was being glib.

        Poor timing. I know a thing or two about that.

      • R C Dean

        Me neither. It seems perfectly ambiguous to me. Was it “Racism is just as bad as the global pandemic that we took extraordinary measures to fight”? Was it “Hey, y’all remember that supposedly world-shattering crisis that we grossly overreacted to and just fizzled out? Yeah, this is just like that.” I can read it either way.

      • RAHeinlein

        IHME wrote that “racism is a public health issue” – the Crossfit CEO responded with “It’s FLOYD-19”

      • Q Continuum

        I think it was just a stupid, throwaway glib (drink!) comment that wasn’t really meant to have any meaning or context. He thought it might be funny and maybe he had a few beers before getting on Twatter. I echo Scruffy in that the leader of an international brand unfortunately doesn’t have the privilege of making stupid, half-ass comments, especially in this climate.

      • R C Dean

        especially in this climate these uncertain times.

        *ducks, runs*

      • Certified Public Asshat

        I think Glassman is just reaping the whirlwind he sowed over the last few years with a lot of CrossFit affiliates and athletes.

        The kipping pull-ups didn’t do it first?

    • Ozymandias

      A lot of people have been hitting me up about this. I think it’s an interesting microcosm of what’s going on nationwide. People seem to forget that a TON of the original gyms – even the Level 1 seminar program itself – hell, CrossFit itself, arose out of the LEO community. In the earliest days, Greg got a gig with the local Santa Cruz County sheriff’s department to get their guys fit. TJ Cooper (a black cop on the Jacksonville PD) was one of the first affiliates and attendees at the earliest seminars. Greg knows a BOATLOAD of cops and has a bunch of “cop” affiliates, both official and unofficial. Hell, I helped start CF “Thin Blue Line” in Manchester, CT, in fact, with a bunch of guys I had been doing BJJ with for decades.

      All of that is a long way of saying, “I’m not so sure that 300 Affils leaving is the end of the world.” There are almost 8k Affiliates in the US and 15K worldwide. There have been virtue-signaling walkouts in the past – loud, messy, and public ones. I’ve been in the middle of several, in fact. It’s a tough balancing act for Greg. He’s always been that flippant – and his Affiliates loved him because of it. Now suddenly some people think he has to prostrate himself and I can tell you one thing about Greg Glassman – and it’s no secret because he’s said as much on camera – if you try to tell him what to do, he’ll do the opposite… just because.

      So, for me, it’s like the same Rorschach Test we’re all doing right now with the coming election. Do the people screaming on twitter and torching cities constitute an electoral majority? Or is it just the loud minority driving a narrative. Does this loud-mouthed group of Affiliates really command some deeper majority of aggrieved gym owners? I guess we’ll see shortly, but most gym owners need to get back to training and leave the politics at the door. I don’t go to jiu jitsu, or ice hockey, or the gym, to hear this kind of bullshit. The “Karen” movement in CF deserves to be purged if that’s what this is.

      • R C Dean

        There have been virtue-signaling walkouts in the past

        Yeah, but Invictus? That had to hurt.

        most gym owners need to get back to training and leave the politics at the door

        Preach it, brother. Looks like Mrs. Dean’s gym is holding the line on that. They aren’t resigning their affiliation, either.

      • Surly Knott

        Thank you. I appreciate the insights.

      • B.P.

        Forcing politics into every last corner of life has been so helpful for this country.

    • Gustave Lytton

      What could possibly go wrong with stoking racial divisions in young kids?

      • C. Anacreon

        And then anything the toddler says which might be disagreeable can then go on their permanent record, accessible to future employers.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Think about what can go right.

        All those little informants, ready to tell their education major teacher about all the bad things mommy and daddy said about other races.

    • TARDIS

      That’s a caption this photo contest right there.

      Biden: “She won’t let me smell her hair.”
      Amy: “This demented coot thinks I’m Hillary.”

      • Q Continuum

        Biden: “Who the hell is that?”
        Amy: “Wait until I get my hands on whatever intern signed me up for this…”

      • Tres Cool

        Biden- “I like her neck-vulva”

        /thanks for that, SF

    • Pope Jimbo

      You know a guy could hope that this whole thing has really hurt her chances in her next Senate run. She’s been our Senator for 12 years now? and I never really ever saw enough of her to really dislike her. Her debate performances made me question how the GOP couldn’t beat her.

      Now she might have someone run against her in the DFL primary from the loony Left. Ilhan Omar?

      • R C Dean

        Now she might have someone run against her in the DFL primary from the loony Left.

        She’s not up again for 4 years. By then (assuming we still have elections), this will all be ancient history.

      • one true athena

        Yeah, I noticed that with Newsom – he’s not up til 2022 so he’s pretty safe to do whatever he wants. At worst the Dem supermajority in Sacramento breaks to an ordinary majority in Nov- which is probably not ideal since then there’s dastardly GOP to blame for everything.

        Given Dems are experts at saying Baltimore (Detroit, Mpl, pick a Dem city) failings are always America ofr society’s fault, it probably doesn’t matter.

  24. SCP-610

    Sorry for going off topic, but I’ve been lurking here for quite a while and I’m looking for some advice. I’m currently attending career counseling, and the top jobs recommended to me by some of the screening test are all IT related. Specifically, the top recommendation is Computer System Analysts. I was wanting to ask if anyone here worked in that specifically and if there are any certification programs I can look into to help move in that direction. Also, where would I work afterwards? What industries hire computer analysts? The same test also suggested programming, network administration, and software development. Anything you could let me know about this would be helpful. Thanks.

    • Florida Man

      You can OT after 30 minutes ,Tulpa.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        That was half an hour ago! Give the kid a break.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        PS. Wish I knew anything about your topic, good sir.

      • Florida Man

        I was telling him it’s okay to OT when he did because 30 minutes had elapsed.

    • Q Continuum

      IT careers are almost completely driven by certs. My recommendation is get as many as you can (CISSP, CISM, Security+, AWS Cloud Architect, etc.) and start shotgunning every job you can find that remotely fits what you’re looking for. You’re unfortunately entering a bad job market and you just need to take whatever first job you can get in your field, then start climbing the ladder.

      Oh, and fuck off.

    • Gustave Lytton

      I’m skeptical of opened end “fit” tests. What’s your background, what do you know, what do you like to do in broad terms work wise, and what do you want to do in the future?

    • Mojeaux

      Fuck off, Tulpa!

      I have no advice, but good luck!

    • SP

      IT gigs are available in every industry, from government to healthcare to manufacturing to finance to education to insurance to retail, and on and on. As Q suggested, get every certification you can and look for jobs that match those certs rather than limiting yourself to only specific industries.

      It’s also nice if you can get your current employer to pay for some of them. Many of them are not trivial in cost.

    • leon

      Look tupla, we have rules here, Some of the unruly will go prancing along without an avatar, but i just want to let you know that you should cloth yourself if you want to make it to the upper crusts of glib society.

      /cleans monocle

      • R C Dean

        Pssht. Like someone who cleans his own monocle is part of the upper crust. Probably even gives his orphans a day off once a month.

      • Jarflax

        The upper crust doesn’t drop terminal Es. It embraces them.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Uffda, I’ve been in the IT business since the mid ’90s and I’m not sure what the difference between a developer and a programmer is. And if they are suggesting programming/developer AND network administration, I’d be suspect of the test. In my experience network people and developers are different breeds. When developers (who have a lot of social problems) think that network admins are geeky and anti-social, that should tell you something.

      I’d go in a different direction than Q and SP too. I’ve hired lots of developers and other IT people and I’ve never paid a bit of attention to certifications. In fact, the more certifications that a software package/platform offers the more suspicious I am of if (I’m looking at you SalesForce). To me certifications just reek of a revenue grab. Note, I am not saying this about training programs. Those are good and if you end up with some sort of certification, that is OK. I’m more ranting about SalesForce making you take tests (that you have to pay for) to “prove” you know something.

      A quick semi-painless way to get involved in IT is to go to one of the coding boot camps that are popping up everywhere. You spend six to nine months going to classes every day to learn the basics of how to be a programmer/developer. I like them because they tend to focus a lot more on things you will actually use in the work force and not so much on how to write “elegant” solutions. They also tend to have a lot of job placement help. They really want their grads to get jobs.

      My daughter went to one here in the Twin Cities and they got her her first job. She’s been working in the industry since then and has really liked it.

      One last bit, don’t get too worked up on exactly what you will be doing. Get some basic training and get a job. Most of the time your company will have all sorts of opportunities to change teams and work in different jobs. So if you discover you want to be a DBA later, it is easy to change if you have some experience already.

      Good luck and Fuck Off Tulpa!

      • Rhywun

        I took a completely different route. Taught myself everything I know and walked in to HR and told them to put me in IT. That was 20 years ago. I don’t have any certs – I hope that doesn’t bite me in the ass.

      • Mad Scientist

        Me either. I’ve been doing computer related stuff for 20 years and the only cert I ever got was a bullshit Linux Admin certificate.

  25. bacon-magic

    All this talk of defunding the police will have an unintended consequence I think. I bet whole departments start having “sick days”.

    • Q Continuum

      That, and safety-obsessed suburban Karens start demanding even more police power thus completely undermining and meaningful use of force reform.

    • Sean

      Give them a taste of what could be? I believe it will happen.

  26. Gustave Lytton

    https://www.oregonlive.com/crime/2020/06/portland-chief-jami-resch-to-resign-african-american-lieutenant-chuck-lovell-to-be-named-chief-at-noon.html

    Police Bureau chief resigns months after getting the job in favor of an inexperienced subordinate.

    https://www.oregonlive.com/business/2020/06/organizations-create-directories-of-black-owned-businesses-and-black-leaders-in-portland.html

    Keeping stoking that racial divisiveness and fracturing. If you thought the backlash against busing or affirmative action was bad, hold onto your hats.

    • R C Dean

      You Know Who Else had lists of black leaders?

      • Gustave Lytton

        The Assistant Secretary of State for African Affairs?

      • Q Continuum

        J. Edgar Hoover?

      • Jarflax
      • leon

        Mitt Romeny?

      • Tundra

        Barry Gordy?

      • Tres Cool

        Al Sharpton ?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      They’ve lost their minds.

      • Surly Knott

        Small loss. Nanoscopic even.

    • R C Dean

      So Portland booted their chick police chief for a black dude?

      How’s that intersectionality working out for ya, white wimminz?

      • Jarflax

        It has them on their knees.

      • Mojeaux

        *ba dum TISS!*

      • Q Continuum

        We knew the Blue Helmets were good for something.

      • Tres Cool

        +1 purple crayon

      • Gustave Lytton

        A year ago they had a black female chief. Who left for her next big assignment after a track record of such behavior with a tissue thin actual experience or accomplishments.

    • The Last American Hero

      What’s his policy on safe handling of bike locks?

  27. Chipwooder

    Jesse Singal is a lefty, but an honest one

    Jesse Singal
    @jessesingal
    ·
    8m
    Half of Twitter right now is stuff that is not, in fact, about solving racism or fixing the world, but people trying to use the present conversation to rocket-launch petty grievances onto the internet, and everyone’s just lapping it up to show they’re on the right side

    • Tundra

      So pretty much business as usual in the sewers.

      • R C Dean

        If its only half, then I would say its a marked improvement.

        *disclaimer: my only exposure to Twitter comes from links on this site*

    • leon

      Saggar from the Hill is an out and out socialist, but he was calling this out too, as a Corporate backed movement to get people to focuse on racisism and how they are good rather than class struggle.

      A bit too socialist for me, but still interesting to see where bifurcations are happening.

      • Q Continuum

        As far as I can tell, this is typical billionaire Lefty funded agitation designed not to advance a cause, but to demoralize and destabilize society in general. The handlers know things like UHLIMUHNAYT POLEES DUHPARTMUNTZ! are political losers, they’re just whipping up the true believers and fracturing the nation. It’s typical Commie strategy.

        Of course the useful idiots continue to think that it’s about race or “inequality” or ORANGEMANBAD but those are all justifications and distractions from the Long Game.

      • leon

        The more i’ve watched Krystal and Saggar, you can see there is a growing rift between the Economic Socialists on the left (typically the ones who focus on actual socialist policies), and the Cultural/SJW left. The former are pissed because the Democrats love the latter, but “never offer” substance. See Liz Warren for example. She abandoned her progressive agenda to signal that she was on board with the cultural agenda.

        We’ll see what happens.

      • B.P.

        So the economic socialists are jealous because this new SJW left hussy came along and attracted all of the attention?

      • Ted S.

        Sure. I’m pissed that in other fora I’ve criticized the police and cop worship to the point people think I’m a crank, and then this comes along and the same people think their criticism of cops is virtuous and you can only criticize cops the same way they do.

      • Tundra

        Fair cop.

      • Mad Scientist

        Fair cop.

        Where!?

      • Tundra
      • Viking1865

        End Racism is a slogan, not a policy.

        Defund the Police is a pretty dumb idea IMO, but it’s an actual idea

        End Qualified Immunity. Eliminate Police Unions. End The Drug War. are all ideas that can be debated, discussed, and translated into specific action.

        One of things I reject is the notion that good ideas must be long ideas. The Constitution is shorter than the regulations on the sale of frozen vegetables. The idea that we can’t have a genuine policy proposal in 140 characters is asinine. You absolutely can. You’re just choosing to type RACISM IS BAD JUSTICE IS GOOD and preening over your activism.

        There’s a reason all the corporations and politicians are on message of Racism Is Not Good, because you can just throw out money to “community groups” and move on with business as usual. Actual change requires actually changing something.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Thank god Twitter in no way reflects the real world, or that’s what I would have said two weeks ago.

  28. Tres Cool

    Bro. Straff inspired me- Caption Contest!

    • Gustave Lytton

      “House Democrats appropriate Asian and African culture for photo op”

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I wonder if they’ll notice I can’t move my forehead.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I like NWA’s old lineup better.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        Nancys with Attitude?

    • leon

      You did it again didn’t ya?

      It’s are calling card, we’re the wet bandits

      You’re sick, you know that…

    • Timeloose

      afrika bambaataa‘s new easy listening album drops this week and his fans are already lining up at the NYC and SF Sam Goody locatIons.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        *chuckle*

      • Tres Cool

        I was thinking of a cartoon bubble over Nancy’s head that reads “Whats FUBU and why are we wearing it?”

    • R C Dean

      Congressional leaders demonstrate two approaches to showing off your cleavage.

    • B.P.

      Are they standing at the edge of a breakdance circle waiting their turn?

    • R C Dean

      Jeebus, Gorillaz covered it *Bings* 19 years ago.

      “‘Cause you don’t see with your eye, you perceive with your mind”

      Fuck me, that was 19 years ago?

    • leon

      Michael Malice had an interesting conversation with Thadeous Russell re: Postmodernism. I found Russell to be wanting in the argument department. Essentially he would point at times where science had been wrong in the past and say “Look back then they would have said they had science on their side, and they were wrong” therefore you really can’t know if we are right today.

      Which seems really strange way to be framing your argument about truth, to be accepting that someone was wrong. If there is no truth, then no one can be wrong or right. Otherwise you are just saying that the truth is unknowable, which is a different argument than what postmodernists make.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        They stop seeking truth and substitute power for it. If there is no truth, then why debate, why argue, why reason?

        Power, relative and absolute, becomes the only metric by which anything can be measured.

    • Jarflax

      Except that they came to the conclusion that true or not, knowable or not, we need to act as though there is objective reality else everything falls apart. The modern left somehow comes to the conclusion that we can therefore make reality as we see fit. Let’s parse that

      Mankind only knows the objective world through the mediation of perception
      Perception can mislead
      Therefore mankind has only imperfect knowledge of the objective world
      Perfect objective knowledge is therefore impossible to mankind
      Humanity is thereby limited

      ???

      Humanity has the power to create its own reality

      Sorry but the argument leads to the conclusion that man is limited, not that man gets to be God. If you want ‘Men Like Gods’ as a conclusion you need ‘Man has unlimited capacity’ in your premises, not ‘Man is incapable of knowledge.’

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Hume acknowledged the existence of reality, even if we couldn’t always perceive it. We still had something to pursue.

        Kant laid the groundwork for the constructivists like Hegel and Marx, to be followed by the postmodernists. Where reality confirms to social need.

      • Jarflax

        And utopia hides under a million piles of skulls

    • Suthenboy

      I have read that twice. Is it just me or is it complete bullshit? It looks to me (forgive my biased perspective) that they are constructing a fairly weak argument to arrive at their preferred conclusion.

      This jumped out at me: “…they are looking at how stereotypes affect perception—specifically if subjects have a harder time seeing people who defy their gender stereotypes.”
      Of course they did.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        How do you get your research mentioned on NPR?

        Race, gender, etc…

    • blackjack

      Well, her husband brandished ( the real version of the word) a gun at protesters and got away with it. She won re-election days later. Not prosecuting actions during a protest seems to work for either side for her.

      • blackjack

        Link for those who missed it

  29. DEG

    The company plans to launch a public beta of the satellite internet service by the end of the northern hemisphere’s summer and has won approval to deploy one million end-user terminals in the US.

    SkyNet?

    Ben Crump, the attorney representing George Floyd’s family, has called on the United Nations to intervene and investigate the circumstances around the middle-aged black man’s death and to make recommendations about law enforcement reforms.

    The UN? Go fuck yourself.

    downtown unrest has been replaced with peaceful marches through suburbs and upscale urban neighborhoods

    Yeah, because guys with rifles are watching them.

    During Phase 1 of reopening, manufacturing, construction, retail and landscaping businesses can reopen.

    How magnanimous of the Gauleiter!

    • blackjack

      Pretty sure the stand down orders immediately followed Trump and Barr mentioning Antifa. Like minutes later.

    • Hyperion

      “SkyNet?”

      Are you talking about Starlink? I’ll be signed up 5 fucking seconds after they announce the release. May Comcast burn in a thousand fires of hell.

      • DEG

        It was a joke referencing SkyNet

      • Hyperion

        Yeah, I thought so, I just didn’t quite follow the reference.

  30. Raven Nation

    I’ve been steadily un-following derpbook friends who insist on making ignorant political statements on the pages (not unfriending). I will re-follow them when they publicly post on their page a message to the employer that they intend to resign within a defined time period (say 30 days) and demand their employer replace them with a minority.

    • B.P.

      I’ve never seen such a stampede to loudly and publicly be on the “right side” of something in my life.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I subtly (or not) mock them once a day now.

        Today it was some tripe about 2nd Amendment gun nuts should be coming out to fight Trump now that he called down the military on citizens. (Not even technically accurate, but whatever)

        I responded with a link titled Gun Nuts about black business owners protecting their property with AR-15s.

      • Raven Nation

        It just gets me angry because, in the end, no matter how sincere, it’s cheap visual promotion. Want to make a statement: quit your job in favor of a minority; move into Section 8 housing and let a poor family have your house; give someone your car.

  31. commodious spittoon

    I went back to the office today for the first time in… eight years? Twelve years? Three months? and it was, unsurprisingly, the best day working I’ve had since this retarded episode began.

    • Hyperion

      I just cannot see how anything good can come from going back to the office. At least for me, there isn’t a damn thing I can do in the office I can’t do here and there are way less interruptions and no commute.

      • commodious spittoon

        My office setup is much more conducive to my work, not to mention the latency I have working from home is atrocious. Plus I actually feel like I’m employed working a job rather than futzing around between projects waiting for a pink slip. I’m surrounded by intelligent professionals rather than isolated at home.

      • Hyperion

        Sure, I get it, we’re all in different situations with this. I’m just looking forward to Starlink getting launched so I can move even further into the wilderness after I finally leave this shithole.

      • commodious spittoon

        If I were further along in my career I could see being happy working from home. The other techs seem to be.

      • R C Dean

        I’m surrounded by intelligent professionals

        Ditto.

        Also, some that are easy on the eyes.

      • blackjack

        I’m still not allowed to go back. My union rep called and told me to not sign anything when they let us come back. Now, I’m wondering what they’re gonna make us sign.

      • Hyperion

        “I’m still not allowed to go back.”

        Me either, and maybe much to their surprise, I don’t want to. I’m not even sure that I will, yet.

    • Drake

      My wife’s company sent them an email today telling them they are back in the office after Labor Day and they have to wear masks all day. She told her boss (who works at home full-time) that there was no way she was wearing a mask all day. They’ll probably just move her to permanent work-at-home.

      • R C Dean

        Oh, FFS. Are they seriously saying that people will have to wear masks in the office until the end of time?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I don’t make my employees wear masks, nor my customers. I think everyone would quit if I tried. They’re completely over this bullshit, sick and tired of it.

      • commodious spittoon

        Ours asked that we wear masks in the communal areas, which covers maybe 2% of my day. Nobody takes it super seriously, and nobody’s wearing one at their desks.

  32. Suthenboy

    Everyone die? I know the rapture didn’t happen cuz none of us are going to ascend….

    • Hyperion

      Damnit, stop being such a downer, I was counting on a front cloud seat up there to watch the woke cities burn.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Most of the interesting people are in Hell anyway.

    • Sean

      *polishes harp*

      • Jarflax

        You and your Irish euphemisms.

  33. Hyperion

    Jeebus, so any of you work? I just finally got stopped for the day, popped a beer and the wife wanted me to order chocolate and olives… this doesn’t… no, it can’t be that, never mind.

    Anyway, check this out:

    Justice is coming!

    Hardy har fucking har. I’m sure Deputy Dawg is going to get em this time, for sure.

    • Suthenboy

      I will believe it when I see it

    • Mojeaux

      Jeebus, so any of you work?

      Dude, I’m going on 12 hours solid, interrupted by carting children places, and I’m not even close to done with what I wanted to do today.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Please let Page be on that list.

      Just to make NBC look even dumber than usual.

      • Chipwooder

        And Brennan, if there is a God

    • Hyperion

      You know, I don’t even want to know, I ain’t even going to ask, how you accidentally sit on a fish and get it stuck up your ass…

      • Jarflax

        The fish was chasing the hamster?

      • commodious spittoon

        There was an odd fellow who sat on a fish…

    • B.P.

      Would you like us to remove the racquet ball from your mouth and the spiked band around your penis while we’re at it?

      Also:

      “A nurse can be heard in the video saying: ‘It stinks so much!'”

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Tilapia?

      Chilean Sea Bass or GTFO.

      • Jarflax

        Don’t be a pussy. Lion fish!

    • EvilSheldon

      Are sex toys not readily available in China? Come on, dudes, it’s 2020…

      • Hyperion

        Might be a little safer than a Lion Fish. People are fucking weird, no matter where you go.

      • Sean

        I’d assume a good many are made there.

      • Jarflax

        The sugar of lead makes them sweet.

  34. LCDR_Fish

    Well, started using the UA my fitness pal app to track carbs – and conveniently enough it appears to have listings for a significant percentage of the beers I regularly drink – domestics and imports. Very cool.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Absolutely

      They have no qualms dumping somebody that doesn’t tow their lion.

    • Drake

      And get Harris to co-sponsor.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Lol, that will be the day

      • blackjack

        If she fell on a sword and then immolated herself, she still wouldn’t have evened the score.

  35. Scruffy Nerfherder

    The gym is open! Woohoo!