Thursday Afternoon Links

by | Jun 25, 2020 | Daily Links | 502 comments

Goshamighty, my new clients do love their meetings. I’m thinking of separating them on my invoices just to cover my ass. “Oh, you don’t think I get enough done to justify the pay? Here’s the 65 hours this month I was in a meeting.” Right now I’m at 18% meetings. But I’m not sure I consistently tracked it the first week. I shouldn’t bitch so much. Half of them are productive meetings with actual decision makers who need to make a decision in order to implement the project. I’ve been grumpily asking people to make standards not choices so that the next project doesn’t have the same overhead. I’m sure people are already tired of hearing me say that. But a good-enough standard beats the hell out of “innovating” across a set of equally good choices.

While my home county of Pinellas has succumbed to talismasks being required, Donations, not Taxation sends a nice takedown of FL COVID cases and why an uptick of cases is no reason to panic. I’m especially proud of deprogramming my wife, who went on an extended rant about the mask stupidity. Choice comment, “So you don’t have to wear a mask while you’re seated at a restaurant, but you do when you aren’t seated?! I guess there’s some magic fucking reason why it doesn’t spread while you’re seated!”

These morons are making the other 90% of cops who aren’t morons look bad.

Dammit, my kids are too young to get this round of free shit.

This guy got his panties in a twist. Please ignore the tone of the article where the author acts like she’s dunking on 4 year olds. The “gotcha” is as likely to be a bad joke as an actual plea for the cops.

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

502 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    “These morons are making the other 90% of cops who aren’t morons look bad.”

    Are you sure about that stat?

    • Count Potato

      “Later in the conversation, Piner told Moore he feels a civil war is coming and he is “ready,” according to the police report. He said he is going to buy a new assault rifle in the next couple of weeks and said society will be close to martial law, with the report misspelling it as “Marshall Law.” He also discussed “slaughtering” people, using a racial slur. Moore responded that he would not do that, based on the report, to which Piner said, “I’m ready.” ”

      How do we know if it is a racial slur?

      • Lady Z

        How many people don’t stop to ask that question? The guy still sounds like an idiot, but I’m not trusting the story without all of the facts.

      • I. B. McGinty

        Marshall has a sad…

      • Drake

        Is this why the cop cameras are always off? Their personal conversations are recorded?

      • Digby's Peek-A-Boo!

        Don’t be surprised if it comes to light, for any agency, that they are.

    • leon

      I don’t know who said it here, but they were spot on. Ask any Cop for their “Best Story” and 99% of the time it will be something they did illegal. And if you have multiple cops around they will then get into a one-upsmanship contest that is guaranteed to result in them laughing about being especially brutal.

  2. Trolleric the Goth

    Remember Sean posted a weird story about MPD going back to a house a few times and a mob was involved, the story made no sense but I said “I wonder what the real story here is?”

    turns out it’s wilder than imagined

    • Chipwooder

      I tried reading that but I have no idea what’s supposed to be going on

      • leon

        WTF? That is insane.

      • leon

        Also: Arsonists get what is coming to them. I have almost zero sympathy for them, and if they get shot in the face trying to light someones house on fire, i am not crying over them

      • Chipwooder

        So there was a mob at a house because there was a rumor that missing girls were being held in there and the yelling about the police was because they said there was nothing to the rumor? Am I getting the gist?

      • Viking1865

        The cops searched the house multiple times. Also, apparently the missing girls were found and the family is being coy about where they were/what happened to them.

      • Hyperion

        No, no! None of you get it! If you suspect some missing girls are being hidden in a house, you have to set it on fire! If they make it out, you know they aren’t witches!

        This is a little glimpse at what every democrat controlled city will look like in the very near future.

      • Viking1865

        “If you suspect some missing girls are being hidden in a house, you have to set it on fire! If they make it out, you know they aren’t witches!”

        Janet Reno smiles in hell.

      • TARDIS

        That’s a grimace, as giant centipedes slither out of her putrid anus.

      • Trolleric the Goth

        there’s a whole subreddit about it now, r/milwaukeegate.

        the gist of it is, the cops were protecting a known child sex trafficking house, and uh, not seeing too much to disprove it?

        probably tinfoilhattery, but who knows anymore?

      • leon

        The idea that you think a house full of sex trafficers and possibly the victims, and you are going to set it on fire? Worst Rescue ever.

      • Chipwooder

        Damn….generally you wouldn’t expect that kind of rash, ill-conceived response from a vigilante mob.

      • Gdragon

        Wasn’t that basically a scene from “8 Mile”? Is that where they stole this idea from?

    • Fatty Bolger

      So what’s the real story? I still have no idea what the hell is going on.

      Also, that’s one of the roundest cops I’ve ever seen. Damn.

      • bacon-magic

        The house was probably owned by a libertarian and his neighbors automatically assumed he had orphans.

  3. Count Potato

    “It unanimously agreed to spend $21 million on 42,000 new Dell laptop/tablet machines, allowing every student in fourth through ninth grade to have one for classroom and home use.”

    Isn’t making them use windows child abuse?

    • leon

      Probably, but making the parents learn another system, and you’ll get riots on par with the Whisky Rebellion.

      • Deplorableme

        The schools have already made parents obsolete when it comes to helping your child with any school work. Thanks to Bill and Melinda Gates and his common core crap, it has become all but impossible for a parent to help.

    • Fatty Bolger

      They’re probably Chromebooks. Our school system uses Dell, too. They’ve had take home devices for every student for years now.

      • Count Potato

        I think since afaik Android is based on Linux, you can put regular Linux on them.

  4. leon

    While my home county of Pinellas has succumbed to talismasks being required, Donations, not Taxation sends a nice takedown of FL COVID cases and why an uptick of cases is no reason to panic. I’m especially proud of deprogramming my wife, who went on an extended rant about the mask stupidity. Choice comment, “So you don’t have to wear a mask while you’re seated at a restaurant, but you do when you aren’t seated?! I guess there’s some magic fucking reason why it doesn’t spread while you’re seated!”

    I’m seeing the same here. Thank heavens Cuomo is keeping us from fleeing to New York, we’re all dying in the streets here. We the living call them the walking dead. I had to run over 5 yesterday just to put them out of their misery.

  5. leon

    But the bikini-clad person did more than he ever expected. He outed the loyal leftists as hypocrites on the issue of Black Lives Matter demands and violent protesters bringing down statues.

    This is why i can’t handle most conservative media. Yeah. We know the left is a bunch of hypocrites. And calling them that, they don’t care. They just want power. So what are you going to do to actually attack that? Because screaming “LOOK you’re a hypocrite” does nothing.

    • Don Escaped MLB

      Then the liars and swearers are fools, for there are liars and swearers enow to beat the honest men, and hang up them.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      Yes. This. There have been more than a few “look, the left has no shame” articles circulated around here, and it’s actually starting to annoy me (the articles, not the circulating). A bull is plowing through the china shop, and the owner is behind the counter giving a disapproving glance and shushing it.

      • Viking1865

        Kurt Schlichter is far closer to correct about the Left than any of the group of “OWNED WITH FACTS AND LOGIC” people. This is about power, not principles. Two months ago, no one was pulling down every old statues they could get to. Now they are. What happens two months from now?

        Northam has his job still, but anyone who ever dressed up in an ethnic costume for Halloween has to be fired. When Stalin was purging his enemies, he would happily whipsaw between “X is a dangerous counterrevolutionary in league with White revanchists.” to weeks or months later “Y, we have recently learned, was Trotsky’s spy in the Central Committee.” He shifted back and forth between moderate pragmatist and revolutionary purist depending on his target.

      • Chipwooder

        Northam has his job still, but anyone who ever dressed up in an ethnic costume for Halloween has to be fired.

        Not only that, but the same newspaper that ran columns explaining why it’s no big deal that Northam didn’t resign ran that repugnant story about some random nobody wearing a blackface Halloween costume two years ago, resulting in her getting fired from her job.

      • C. Anacreon

        What happens two months from now?

        I’m thinking a bit farther past that — January 2021. If the Ds take over, I think one of their first acts will be to declare that Fox News is dangerous to the country, and that the network does nothing but lie, and that lies aren’t covered by the First Amendment. But in the spirit of 1A, Fox News will be allowed to continue on the air, but a team of government fact-checkers must be allowed to pre-screen and correct all scripts prior to reading on the network. Fox will eventually give up and become a carbon copy of all the mainstream media, and almost as soon as that happens, all is forgiven, even forgotten, and the Fox newscasters who until recently had been sneered at start winning Emmys and Pulitzers for their ‘brave’ reporting.

        Alongside this, right-wing talk radio and conservative websites will be declared to be hate speech, which is now also not covered by 1A. Websites will be demonetized and deplatformed, and major search engines will prevent linking to them. Radio stations will risk their FCC licenses to carry any such shows.

        By 2022 just about all news and political information will be the same regardless of the source, and Pravda will look like it was written by Thomas Paine by comparison.

      • WTF

        If the Ds take over, they will rig things so that they never lose power again.

      • B.P.

        Fairness Doctrine II: This Time We’re Out for Revenge

        This whole scenario seems absurd, and I can’t deny it outright because absurd happenings are a daily occurrence now.

    • leon

      After reading Ozzy’s Anthrax article, its hard to see that as not a threat against black and indigenous peoples.

      • Drake

        I would rather just get the rona than a vaccine she had anything to do with.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        What, and have a 95+% chance of survival!?

      • Drake

        99.96%

    • Hyperion

      ‘Pssst, listen Bill. We finally figured out how to get that Eugenics thing done, we’ll get rid of most them darkies this time!’

    • Hyperion

      First they try to get the colored folk to not wear a mask, now they want them to lab rat an untested vaccine. Lol, you can’t make this shit up.

  6. Chipwooder

    Question time: my wife can shoot our pistols just fine but has never really ever fired our shotgun. Given her lack of familiarity with it, and her small size, I’ve been reading up on more forgiving choices for 12ga than 00. I read a Massad Ayoob piece promoting #1 buckshot as a good compromise – lighter recoil, more pellets, but still powerful enough to drop a bad guy. Now that I’ve started looking, though, it appears to be hellaciously hard to find. Anyone have any experience with it, and is it worth the effort and expense?

    • Drake

      All buckshot seems to be in very short supply at the moment.

      • Chipwooder

        My preferred local place still has a fair bit of Federal Power-Shok 00 on hand, but no other shot sizes bigger than birdshot.

      • Drake

        #1 and #4 are awesome home defense rounds. But are they lower recoil? (Unless specifically low-recoil rounds)

      • Chipwooder

        I should have been more specific: his precise recommendation was “Federal #1 Buck low recoil load”

      • Drake

        Paul Harrell talks about reduced recoil 00 in painful detail.

      • Tres Cool

        About 18 months ago I bought 3 boxes of 00. Im glad I did.

        And then theres the 15 or so boxes of deer slugs I have

      • R C Dean

        I tripped over a stash of Federal LE 00 at BulkAmmo a few weeks ago. I was shocked. Ordered (and received) a case.

        So when I picked up my new shotgun today and the guy asked me if I needed any ammo, I was able to tell him I was good for now. Which is good, because when I checked on their ammo waiting for NICS to clear, they were flat out of 00.

      • I'm Here To Help

        I’m so happy I got 500 each of bird shot (for shooting actual birds), 00 buck, slugs, and reduced recoil buck…

      • Not Adahn

        Yeah, if I ever need to use one of my shotguns to defend my house, at inside-the-house range I would think that my trap loads would be pretty effective, especially when I can put so many of them on target quickly. Plus, a “weapon” designed for and loaded for shooting clay pigeons not people could only help my case when my lawyers explains why it’s a good shoot.

    • bacon-magic

      #4 Turkey load will work. Or go to 20 gauge.

    • EvilSheldon

      There’s not going to be any noticable difference in recoil given different sizes of buckshot.

      #1 Buck is fine, but I wouldn’t go any lighter. You start losing penetration.

      Having a properly-sized stock and good technique will do more for smaller-framed shooters than anything else.

    • kinnath

      I have a 20 gauge shotgun. I have #3 buckshot.

      Paul Harrell has done at least a couple of videos on using 20 gauge and #3 buckshot for home defense.

      #3 buckshot penetrates the meat target just fine. You will put a lot of 1/4 holes through an assailant with #3 buck.

      Comparing #3 buck shot to 00 buck shot; 00 buck will penetrate 3 layers of drywall, the exterior sheathing of a house and the exterior siding. Whereas, #3 buck will penetrate three layers of dry wall and not penetrate the exterior sheathing. If there are people living close by the outside of your house, you need to be careful about over penetration.

      I understand the “more is better” attitude for home defense guns, but everyone that needs to be able to shoot the shotgun has to be able to control the shotgun. One trigger pull and done isn’t good enough.

      20 gauge #3 buck is 20 pellets of 25 caliber with a muzzle velocity around 1,100 or 1,200 ft per second. This will really ruin someones day.

    • Tom Teriffic

      GenderTraitor found that a 20 ga and #3 buck was a good compromise. I’m still a 12 ga OO buck riot gun guy. I wouldn’t want to be in front of any of ’em

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      It’s clear and all over the place in their headquarters, and has been since before they went public. It is a progressive leftist SV company, one of the more progressive and more leftist, even for SV.

    • Not Adahn

      Best thing for them. Now they can pretend they’ve never been part of any kerfuffle and just shill whatever pop flavor they’re producing now.

      If their next album sucks, they can just rename and start from scratch.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I especially like how “Chicks” isn’t offensive enough in their minds to rename that part.

      • Digby's Peek-A-Boo!

        The Chicks–Straight out of a hen’s ass.

      • Agent Cooper

        “If their next album sucks,”

        If? They probably haven’t been on their game since 97.

  7. leon

    Just changed my oil. Last time i had the lube shop do it. What is with those assholes and tightening the drain plug to absurd levels. It took some WD40, and almost my entire weight on the ratchet to get it to budge.

    • Don Escaped MLB

      congrats: they didn’t strip the thing clean out of the pan

      • leon

        :Counts Blessings:

    • Trolleric the Goth

      they probably used the ol’ rattlegun to tighten it

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      These euphemisms.

    • Mad Scientist

      Next time use something other than WD-40 since it’s a solvent, not a lubricant.

      • C. Anacreon

        *forehead slap* “That’s why it works so much better on door hinges than for anal!”

      • Digby's Peek-A-Boo!

        *foreskin slap* “If you only knew…”

        /sorry, sorry

    • Oy the Billy-Bumbler

      Sounds like somebody needs a breaker bar

  8. cyto

    When I am wrong, I am wrong.

    NASCAR posted a photo of the noose. Clearly so someone tied a noose in the pull. No mistake about that.

    I said there is no way that a grown man could mistake a loop for a noose. Well…. I was right about that part. Clearly someone was goofing around and tied a noose for the loop.

    My bad.

    Still not a hate crime. But I was wrong about the “no way they didnt know” part.

    • leon

      Here’s the thing. It was proabably some guy just tying one, no racial connotation, because nooses are things that people want to make racist, but they aren’t. But now that it has been declared that, no one in the right mind is going to come forward and say that “Hey i tied that for fun no racial context at all” because context and intent don’t matter if you fall in the sights of the mob.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        How likely is it that “it kept coming untied, so I used a knot that I know would hold from my fishing hobby” is the reason?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        That sounds very plausible.

    • Mojeaux

      I say Photoshopped.

      • R C Dean

        I really don’t think so.

        I also don’t think it was a true slip-knot noose, which means, not a noose. I think it was a fishing knot. Because there are fishing knots that look exactly that, but don’t slip. Making a slip-knot handle is just dumb.

        But, yeah, cyto. I’m with you. My “what kind of moron could think a loop is a noose” was off-base.

      • B.P.

        That was my thought from the dead thread. A slip knot would result in the user’s hand getting stuck every time the user closed the garage door.

      • Chipwooder

        Like I said a couple of days ago – it’s probably a bimini twist. Looks very similar to a hangman’s noose but it’s just an ordinary fishing knot.

      • Mojeaux

        It took 4 days to come up with that photo. If they’d produced it immediately, I wouldn’t think that. But it took 4 days.

      • Rhywun

        That’s my thought. What took them so long?

        I have little reason to believe the official narrative and every reason to believe there’s something fishy going on.

      • dbleagle

        It also doesn’t look the same as the initial photo released.

    • Viking1865

      Why didn’t they post the photo two days ago?

      • Trolleric the Goth

        X1000

        the timing is suspect, because that could have been taken today or yesterday, judging by the weather in Talladega.

      • R C Dean

        One of the photos released earlier of that stall from this past fall, I think, showed a knot/loop that looks a lot like that one. Other photos of looped ropes on garage doors look more like a square knot or bowline.

        Unless its a slip-knot, its not a noose. Meanings have words, people, and the meaning of noose is “slip-knot”. I suspect is not a slip-knot, which is why the FBI didn’t call it a noose, but a noose-like knot or somesuch.

      • JaimeRoberto Delecto

        It seems all they’ve done is make everyone look bad. The track looks bad for having a noose in the garage. Bubba looks for crying about a noose, that wasn’t a noose, but apparently really was a noose. NASCAR looks bad for withholding the photo.

      • Pope Jimbo

        This is exactly my question too.

    • JaimeRoberto Delecto

      I wonder why it took so long to release the photo, but I agree, that is a noose.

      I used to tie nooses as a kid. For me it was just something you see in cowboy movies, not a racial thing. Maybe I’d see it differently if I grew up in a different part of the country.

    • bacon-magic

      It’s not a noose. Fishing/boating knot. A noose made correctly will have 13 wraps on it. We used to have one hanging on the forklift at a rigging shop I worked at. (disclaimer: it was not for anyone except maybe the boss after an insurance fight).

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        I don’t think it needs to have 13 loops. Even if it did technically, this is close enough for government work.

      • bacon-magic

        You weren’t doing it correctly then. It has to have 13 wraps(this was intended to break the neck instead of strangling the person). Just because it looks like a noose doesn’t mean it can tighten like a noose.

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        I think the 13 number was chosen because 13 is bad luck, not because of any technical reason.

      • Drake

        Meh – it’s a loop to pull on. Somebody got fancy.

    • CPRM

      That’s a shit ass photo. It makes what is clearly a rope no larger than an inch wide in all the other photos look like a full hemp rope at least 3 inches wide. Wide angle lenses make you look fat, yall.

      In cub scouts and in theater classes I sucked at the knot parts, so I’m not at all an expert on knots. Hell, I can’t even tie a tie. To me, a characteristic that defines a noose above all else though, would be that it’s big enough to put your head through, and you know, hang you, not the technical qualities of the knot.

      • bacon-magic

        It looks like 1/4″ or 5/16″ solid braid cheap rope. Typical for a garage door. They zoomed in to make it look scary. 4 days later LOL.

      • bacon-magic

        Correction: it’s just a 3 twist rope…even cheaper.

    • Sean

      Nope. Still not buying it.
      Staged event.

      • Jarflax

        Here’s the thing. The world got up in arms over this with the left screaming racism and hate crime, 15 FBI agents out investigating and the right screaming hoax. I have not heard a single person say what I think is the only possible response to this as a story. So what? Why are we talking about a freaking knot tied in a rope. It wasn’t used to hang anyone, there was no death threat or damage to person or property. There was a rope with damn knot in it. And we all argue for days about what kind of damn knot it was. IT DOESN’T MATTER A DAMN! And those of us opposed to the leftist nonsense better stop relying exclusively on the “probably a hoax’ gambit because 1. eventually one of these will be some idiot making a joke not a hoax, and 2. the more times we go along as the left pretends that this would be an earthshaking event, and respond but really this time it is a hoax so it’s ok, the more it gets ingrained in our consciousness that it is a big deal.

        The reason the left keeps getting traction is that we go along with their claims that trivialities are monumental events. Assume for a moment that some one actually tied a noose, and even that he was a racist piece of crap and did it out of hatred, what is the crime? Being a douchebag? We have discarded religion and philosophy and adopted animistic fetishism. The mere sight of an object fills people with terror and despair. It is idiotic.

      • cyto

        Amen brother!

        Now, please report to the re-education camp.

  9. R C Dean

    I’ve been grumpily asking people to make standards not choices so that the next project doesn’t have the same overhead.

    I have had the same issue, but I haven’t heard it articulated that way. Which is excellent.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Never works.

      By the next project there will be some young hot shot who thinks that some new framework will solve all the existing issues. So why continue building on a platform that has issues. Never mind that after the new framework is put in place there will be a set of new issues.

      The good news is so much easier to handle mentally as a consultant. You can warn them about the consequences of doing what they think they want to do, but if they ignore you, that is there deal. They are paying the piper. Just keep some CYA emails around to show them when things aren’t any better after hundreds and hundreds of billable hours.

      My old mentor summed it up:

      “Hey, I told you not to stick your dick in that nasty whore. I begged you not to do it. But you went and did it anyhow. Don’t complain to me now that it hurts to piss”

      • leon

        By the next project there will be some young hot shot who thinks that some new framework will solve all the existing issues.

        :laughs:
        :cries:

        Right now at work we have two different testing frameworks, one we just finished getting people to use before certain non-developer types decided we needed to switch. Likewise we have a civil war going on between “Docker”! and some new hot containerization/virtualization tool.

        Just wake me up when we’ve decided on a way and i’ll learn that.

      • Don Escaped MLB

        Never works.

        Seldom works for sure. Virtual knowledge is a gimmicky thing. I know I like it in pieces: an FMEA or PSM doc or workflow at a time, at least having a record of the known issues.

        But then it grows into this entire PMO/QMS nightmare where to fix the least thing requires wading through two dozen tabs of Excel and waiting a week on approvals of persons who never read any of the details forwarded.

        I’m obsessed with that I call appropriate technology. The overheads of state-of-the-art knowledge systems are stupefying. There’s no substitute for experience and perspective: it’s often associated with the cheapest solutions. I’ve worked at huge internationals, including a CAC40 firm: I can’t spend two hours a day reading drill-down / drive-wide lessons-learned reports from 100 other plants.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Another saying from my old consulting mentor: “If they were smart, they wouldn’t hire you in the first place”

        By which he meant that well run companies with smart people don’t need consultants. The ones who need consultants are the companies that are dysfunctional and staffed with second rung players.

        Or I think that is what he meant. Maybe he was taking a shot at me.

      • DEG

        By the next project there will be some young hot shot who thinks that some new framework will solve all the existing issues. So why continue building on a platform that has issues. Never mind that after the new framework is put in place there will be a set of new issues.

        Yep.

  10. Certified Public Asshat

    Liverpool is about to clinch the Premier League; Sloopy to be insufferable.

    • Ted S.

      LOL!

      True, but LOL.

      I feel bad for Rhywun, who has to deal with Bayern München winning the Bundesliga again.

      • Rhywun

        *shrugs*

        I don’t dislike Bayern at all. I just want someone else to have a chance some day.

    • Chipwooder

      Stop that, STOP THAT! No more commieball talk.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        We’ve already established soccer is probably the most capitalist sport*.

        *If there is such a thing.

      • Chipwooder

        Financially, sure. Look at Twitter sometime though – every leftist DSA rose-sporting piece of shit has some fucking soccer team mentioned in their little bio.

      • Ted S.

        Just because the DSA scum latched onto soccer doesn’t mean it’s a commie sport.

      • Digby's Peek-A-Boo!

        Billiards, and billiards-type sports. This is the remedy.

    • Juvenile Bluster

      We’ve dealt with taunts and insults from rival supporters for YEARS. Fuck yeah we’re giving it back now.

      • Rhywun

        30 years.

        W00t!

  11. Gustave Lytton

    Sgammo has spam cans of 9mm…must resist, its steel case.

    • Not Adahn

      If your gun doesn’t like cheap 9mm, buy one that does.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Gun is fine. It’s gun’s daddy that doesn’t like steel case.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Would love to have a couple spam cans of brass ammo to bury in the garden accidentally lose in a boating accident.

      • EvilSheldon

        There are a lot of guns that don’t like steel case ammo. Mostly because it tends towards being filthy and underpowered, but steel cases also produce a lot of stiction in steel magazines. A little silicone lube in the magazine can help. So can cleaning out your magazines on the regular.

      • Not Adahn

        My pmags did not like steel cased ammo. Some internal lubrication and they work now.

    • Incentives Matter

      The only ammo I’ve had fail to feed in the Sub2K more than once or twice has been steel case 9mm. I won’t buy it ever again.

  12. Chipwooder

    Now this is comedy: the “official” CHOP/CHAZ/WGAF Twatter issued a statement declaring victory and going home. The concluding paragraph read (bold in the original):

    Let’s not let this momentum die. Please remember to continue supporting the kind of revolutionary change we just created by voting for Joe Biden as president of the United States in November and Jay Insleeas governor of Washington. And, despite our occasional differences, we believe Jenny Durkan has stepped up and shown the leadership that will help us heal. We urge you to vote to reelect her in 2021.

    “Forward, comrades! Continue the revolution by reelecting Dem incumbents!”

    • Trolleric the Goth

      seriously, if they weren’t such utter incompetents I wouldn’t have believed that was real

      • Chipwooder

        Doh….the last line wasn’t meant to be in quotes – that was my addition. The rest of it was legitimate.

      • Trolleric the Goth

        oh, I’d seen it before during my daily checks of chaz_updates and ChazStruggles on twitter

    • Not an Economist

      I agree. Let us vote for change by voting for someone who has been in office for 40 years!!!!! He gonna be different this time. He promises.

    • Rhywun

      LOL

    • Rhywun

      I’m not even going to waste precious minutes reading anything from those idiots.

    • Digby's Peek-A-Boo!

      He really is a supreme shitheel. No wonder he loves him some government jerbs.

  13. Juvenile Bluster

    For the first time in 25 years of being a Liverpool supporter, champions of England.

    Goddamn it feels good.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      It’s cooler to follow a team that hasn’t won the first division in 60 years, and never the PL.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Ink ruins everything.

    • bacon-magic

      Si

    • leon

      Oh geeze. I watched about the whole thing before a realized her shirt was see through.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Sigh. Am I a prude for thinking that we shouldn’t be celebrating people having kids outside of marriage?

      I don’t think that it has to be an official church wedding or anything, but I feel bad for a kid who is born to a couple that isn’t really committed to each other. Sure she probably has enough money to raise him in very comfortable surroundings, but kids need a dad too.

      And worse, it sets a bad example for others. Those kids are really fucked because their moms don’t have the money to raise them in ease.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Being one of those jesusy people, I’m conflicted. Is it any different from the parents who get a divorce after a couple years?

        My initial reaction is the same as yours. My more thoughtful reaction is that the actual commitment is what matters, not the paper that says its gonna require lawyers to break the relationship up.

  14. Pope Jimbo

    Uffda. Someone sure feels special, I’m sure this will be great for business at her restaurant

    Francine Weber, owner of Milton’s Vittles, Vino and Beer at 3545 Douglas Dr. N. in Crystal, took to Facebook Live Tuesday after another night of dealing with inappropriate guest behavior.

    “People have been not very nice coming in,” Weber said. “We’ve got customers coming in, sitting inside, walking around and not really taking into consideration the whole COVID thing. It’s really kind of upsetting me … and people just being mean.”

    Weber said customers are “not being very nice,” moving from table to table – which forces staff to keep disinfecting surfaces – and complaining about price increases and a smaller menu.

    “Please think about what you’re asking before the words come out of your mouth,” Weber said. “Everybody is experiencing a lot of different things right now. We are all here trying to do the best that we can.

    • Agent Cooper

      “Please think about what you’re asking before the words come out of your mouth,”

      And then drugs came out of her ass!

    • Tulip

      Meh. She shouldn’t be complaining to the paper, but I’m sure it’s frustrating. If someone walked around and they didn’t re-disinfect the surface, you know some Karen would rat her out.

      • Rhywun

        I am literally refusing to dine out under these conditions. I can wait.

      • Not Adahn

        My diner has set up tables in the parking lot. I am happy, their food is good and I’v e missed it.

    • leon

      The problem these days is trying to gauge if someone is being serious or trolling? or worse Seriously trolling?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Considering that reality is a lot stupider than The Babylon Bee Aright now it’s best to go ahead and assume that’s a serious proposal.

    • Ted S.

      This should be the national anthem.

  15. Derpetologist

    Aloha y’all. Which of these, if any, do you like? Feel free to reply with your own suggestions.

    New Robert E Lee Statue Will Feature Backwards Hat, Boombox

    NASCAR Fans Set-Up Autonomous Zone

    German Antifa Rebuild Berlin Wall, Declare New Autonomous Zone of Intelligence

    New Moby Dick Movie Will Feature Black Whale Named Shaft

    Space Force Moffs Deny Rumors of Death Star Cost Overruns

    New Dukes of Hazard Will Feature Two Chinese Lesbians Driving a Used Prius in Manhattan

    Vaccine for Coronavirus Derived from Blood of Alex Jones

    Biden Dons Blackface for His One-Man ‘Corn Pop’ Show

    New Trump Ad Features President in Blackface While Kanye West Waves Confederate Flag

    SPLC Warns of Systematic Height Discrimination in NBA

    • Trolleric the Goth

      New Dukes of Hazard Will Feature Two Chinese Lesbians Driving a Used Prius in Manhattan

      my choice – maybe an EU or UN flag on the roof?

      • Sean

        Rainbow flag.

        Make it a porno.

    • bacon-magic

      Space Force Moffs Deny Rumors of Death Star Cost Overruns

    • Gustave Lytton

      Noose found in Department of Corrections’ capital punishment wing

      • Derpetologist

        [Darth Vader voice]

        Most impressive.

        Boy Scouts Ban Knot Tying To Prevent Nooses

        SPLC Says Neck Ties May Be Racist Dog Whistle

      • R C Dean

        I like the SPLC one. Hits that edge juuust right.

    • CPRM

      Joe Biden Forgets What Year it is. Promises Black Slaves Matter.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      I like the German Antifa.

      Shouldn’t the Chinese resbians be driving a Subaru? That one could be kind of hawt.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      NASCAR Fans Set-Up Autonomous Zone

      Isn’t that just the infield?

  16. Mojeaux

    make standards not choices so that the next project doesn’t have the same overhead

    My 2c (you get what you pay for) and remember I don’t know exactly what you do, but this might apply:

    YOU make standards for YOUR workflow to reduce YOUR overhead. Their overhead is irrelevant if they’re willing to pay it.

    YOU make “templates” (whatever that means for your industry) of 3-4 choices that you present to them with a few tweak options here and there, so that you can switch them out on the fly.

    You BILL them for their CHOICES, not the standard you created for your workflow.

    You maximize your efficiency while maximizing their overhead to what they will allow.*

    *Since they won’t create standards and minimize their own overhead.

    • R C Dean

      You have described how I organize my Office of General Counsel. I just never realized it. I’m naturally lazy, so “maximizing my efficiency” is my jam.

  17. Pope Jimbo

    Another story in the mystifying series of Minnesoda Somalis wanting Amazon shut down in here. OK, probably not shut down, just some payoff money to stop complaining.

    Workers are speaking out about conditions inside the Shakopee Amazon center where at least 88 employees tested positive for COVID-19.

    On a Zoom press conference, employees said managers do not enforce safety rules. They say other workers don’t wear masks and don’t keep six feet away from one another. They want the building shut down for cleaning.

    I bet if you looked into the workers who are “speaking out” they are mostly Somali. The sames ones who have tried to stage walkouts in the past because Amazon made them work too hard. The fact that Omar is tweeting in support of them makes me comfortable in wagering on that.

    What I don’t get is that Amazon pays a pretty good wage for people who don’t have a lot of skills for other jobs. You think if you were lucky enough to get a job for $20/hr tossing packages after coming here from a refugee camp, you’d be happy and grateful.

    • C. Anacreon

      “conditions inside the Shakopee Amazon center are so bad, the bathrooms are sealed off, and you have to go outside to Shake-yo-pee”

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      Fake News. Election fraud never happens.

    • C. Anacreon

      Hmm. CNN, NPR and MSNBC seem to have missed this. I’m sure they’ll report on it tomorrow.

  18. CPRM

    I really should be asleep by now…more than 4hrs past when I should be asleep, on beer 15…bah, I got the night off, I’ll deal with the consequences when I have to go back to work.

  19. AlmightyJB

    I don’t understand why anyone watches ESPN. A bunch of used car salesman.

    • CPRM

      Last year when I was cutting expenses and went to a lower satellite package I was ok with losing ESPN, even though 10 years ago I watched it at least 2hrs a day. I was more worried about losing NFL Network, which I used to watch even more. But then I realized neither one had anything I wanted to watch anymore. I didn’t leave sports news, sports news left me.

    • Rhywun

      I watch sports on ESPN. I don’t watch talking heads if that’s what you’re talking about.

      • AlmightyJB

        Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about. I watch sports as well.

      • Rhywun

        I’m watching some of the post-game coverage of Liverpool on NBCSN but I think the occasion calls for it. Luckily none of these commentators tend to sink to the level you see from the average ESPN talking head.

    • Don Escaped MLB

      When I was a child CBS ran maybe three NASCAR races a year. Due to the races’ being in the Atlantic time zone (and my not being in same) and the local Methodists, Baptists, and Presbyterians’ having to get their shots in before national coverage could begin, I learned to enjoy watching a race that was already 2/3 over as my standard.

      I seldom watch a stock race anymore (maybe Watkins Glen or Sears Point), but I’ll always hold ESPN in the highest regard for their help in undoing the suffocating hold that Southern SkyDaddy Zealotry had on my earliest years.

      • Agent Cooper

        Bristol night race is the only NASCAR worth watching.

      • AlmightyJB

        I miss Wide World of Sports on Saturday.

    • CPRM

      …my oft repeated story…Steven Seagal…movie producer…claims of working for the CIA…CIA has a Time Machine…the man ain’t all there.

    • Count Potato

      I still think he could be Charlize Theron.

  20. AlmightyJB

    99% of Americans, including cops, believe Black Lives Matter. Marxist calling themselves Black Lives Matter to trick America is like John Wayne Gacy wearing clown makeup to trick children.

    • C. Anacreon

      Was talking to a number of medical colleagues today. Not one of them had ever heard anything about Cuomo forcing Covid-positive patients into the state’s nursing homes, leading to thousands of deaths. Of course they looked at me like I was the conspiracy-theory guy. And my MIL is in one of those nursing homes, so I can speak from experience.

      Nice job national media, once again burying an enormous story because it makes one of your fancy boys look bad. To listen to you, every Dem is perfect and every R is evil and responsible for all cases of the pandemic and all racism. Register to vote now! As soon as we get every office filled by a democrat, we’ll never have any problems again.

      How everyone in the Bay Area believes that local and network tv news and the newspapers are ‘completely unbiased, if anything maybe even a little too conservative’ is un-fricking-believable, but they do. And if you try ‘tell me about one recent story where the media wasn’t pro-D, anti-R, you’ll get either “reality has a liberal bias” or “what about Al Franken! They sure gave it to him worse than any Republican!”

      • Count Potato

        Wow.

    • Rhywun

      This week, Fox News published an exclusive alleging that Kimmel, who is famously anti-Trump, used the N-word, imitating rapper Snoop Dogg song in 1996 for a comedy Christmas album.

      However, Fox News has not condemned the vocal anti-Black Lives Matter rhetoric of one of its anchors, Tucker Carlson, whose views against the protests have seen several major advertisers pull their sponsorship of Tucker Carlson Tonight in recent weeks.

      lolwut?! I know Tucker can defend himself but he is not “anti protest”, you dipshit.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        She’ll have a point if they manage to dig up a video of Carlson wearing blackface like Kimmel did. That being said, I don’t like seeing Republicans engaging in this nonsense either.

      • Rhywun

        Turnabout is fair play IMHO.

        I love the “alleged”. He either did or he didn’t, and it should be easy to disprove.

        Never change, Newsweek.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Yeah, this isn’t a court of law, he did what they’re saying he did.

      • WTF

        I really don’t mind the left being forced to live by their own rules. In fact I get pleasure out of seeing them hoist by their own petard.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I’m not shedding any tears over it. It’s just that when the Reps adopt the left’s talking points and tactics they tend to embrace them heart and soul rather than using them cynically. If cancel culture takes hold on the left and the right it’ll be a disaster.

      • Atanarjuat

        What about the argument that validating cancel culture tactics will only play into leftist hands in the long run?

      • WTF

        I don’t see how letting your opponent bludgeon you with a club and refusing to respond in kind makes sense in the long run.

      • Q Continuum

        ^^Unfortunately this.

        You have an enemy that is hellbent on your destruction and will never stop until one of you is destroyed. If you don’t fight back using every dirty trick you can think of, you will die. It’s a street fight. There are no rules.

      • C. Anacreon

        We’ve been watching Tucker Carlson regularly and his “anti Black Lives Matters” rhetoric was in no way racist, profane or even a tiny bit worthy of boycott — he mostly pointed out that right now that BLM is the most popular political force in America and no one is permitted to criticize them, as we are with every other political force. The article basically proved his point, that they want him canceled for daring to criticize the untouchable BLM (despite them being heavily Marxist-oriented, too). It’s ten times worse than when anyone who criticized Obama’s policies even slightly was immediately called a racist

      • Suthenboy

        BLM is marxism in blackface. They are absolute pieces of shit commies and there is nothing that can be said about them that is over the top. Fuck them.

      • Homple

        “BLM is marxism in blackface.”

        Yup.

      • B.P.

        in Exhibit A we have someone being taken to task under the rules created by his own team. In Exhibit B we have someone… criticizing an organization that is now sacrosanct, I guess?

    • leon

      It’s cute to see them defend the in crowd from these cries by lashing out at other people.

      It’s like Joe Biden sex assault allegations all over again.

    • Hyperion

      Tamed? They need to be taken out behind the woodshed.

    • Digby's Peek-A-Boo!

      Shorter Emma Nolan: “WAAAAAH–the Right is making us look bad by pointing out our transgressions!! NO FAIR!!!”

  21. Drake

    Yep. A decade ago I watched it every morning I was home. Now i never do.

    • Don Escaped MLB

      Tennessee Thursday: Megan Fox

      • Atanarjuat

        Any man who doesn’t feel a twinge from that is solidly teh ghey, but it’s unfortunate how much work she had done over the years.

      • Count Potato

        She looked totally different before she started acting.

    • DEG

      #1 – opening with a RealDoll? Oh boy. That doesn’t bode well.

      Hmm… actually, it’s an OK gallery.

    • AlmightyJB

      Yeah, DeWine is fear mongering about an increase in cases in Cincinnati. It’s all bullshit because the numbers still aren’t even in the same universe as the original projections, and are still a fraction of the peak.

    • leon

      Reminder that Goldman Sachs said the economy was recession proof on Dec 31 2019.

  22. C. Anacreon

    My desktop was running poorly so I completely reinstalled windows a couple days ago. Doing this eliminated all my apps so I have been reinstalling one-by one, and now I see that I no longer have Monocle, or whatever Trashy’s program was for Chrome that did all the cool things like easy links, italics, blockquotes, and counted new posts and immediately jumped to them. I can’t find anything on this site that links to anywhere I can go to download and reinstall the extension. Any help any of you? Thanks in advance.

    • Rhywun

      It’s on the “Resources” page.

      • C. Anacreon

        That was the first place I went — it doesn’t seem to be there any more. Now that page is just FAQs and links to books.
        I checked the Noob guide, too. Can’t find it anywhere.

      • TARDIS

        It took me a bit to get it going on my new tablet. Took me a bit to find it too.

    • creech

      Luckily, they haven’t started casting his statue yet. Now he has to pick Michelle as his running mate or (heh, heh, heh) blacks won’t vote for him.

    • Rhywun

      *snort*

    • Hyperion

      But didn’t he already grovel over his Cornpop sins? Why is this news? /CNN sweeps under rug

  23. Count Potato

    “Not objective but true,the facts tell the story.NY had & has its struggles but they’re doing way better than what we see elsewhere & no way that happens without the Luv Guv dishing the real 24/7.He works with relentless intensity & NY’s better for it.And as a brother, I am proud.”

    https://twitter.com/ChrisCuomo/status/1275969508222685185

    No, about as true as your fake quarantine.

    • Rhywun

      *puke*

    • Hyperion

      I say we replace all sports with the Corn Hole Toss. Top pay = 1 six pack of beer of your choice. Now all you previous sports stars, go get a real fucking job. Have fun.

    • Hyperion

      How about ‘Fuck no’, instead I punch you in your fat face?

  24. Hyperion

    Afternoon, wokesters.

    I finally joined the Parler. I’m Hyperion The Unwoke, libertarian herder of cats, software engineer, provider of solutions, solver of problems, prophet of the Unwoke.

    Not sure what I’m supposed to do now. Shitpost?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Let it stagnate for a year or so and then cancel just like most of the flood signing up right now will do.

  25. Count Potato

    ““They admit that and have some suggestions that are worthy of consideration,” confessed Speaker Nancy Pelosi, “but so far, they were trying to get away with murder, actually—the murder of George Floyd.” Republicans were particularly incensed by this demagoguery, and they demanded an apology. “Will you apologize,” NBC News reporter Peter Alexander asked the speaker. “Absolutely, positively not,” she replied. When pressed to say whether she believed Sen. Scott was acting in “good faith,” the speaker laughed—as one does when accusing someone of “murder”—and insisted that she wasn’t talking about the author of the bill she was lambasting but the senate majority leader. Of course.

    Despite two Democratic defections on Wednesday, Senate Democrats blocked a measure to even open debate on Scott’s bill or to allow amendments to it—amendments Scott repeatedly claimed were welcome and discussed in private consultations with Democrats. It is important to emphasize Democratic objections here. This was not merely a quibble over the scope of the legislation—a mundane objection that will lead Senate Republicans to reject the police-reform bill House Democrats are crafting. The Democratic contention here is that Republicans prefer the status quo. Scott was having none of it.

    “The actual problem is not what is being offered,” a visibly frustrated Scott asserted in the wake of the failed cloture vote. “It is who is offering it.”

    “I have dealt with the problem of ‘who’ before,” Scott continued. “As a black man, I get the ‘who’ being the problem.” This is a serious accusation, one that shouldn’t be left to innuendo alone. The senator is contending that the problem Democrats have with this bill isn’t the legislation itself as much as the black Republican who is championing it. That’s a scandalous charge, but such claims of conscious discrimination aren’t beyond the realm of polite discussion. We are privy to such allegations on a near-daily basis, and with less substantive evidence in support of them. Why shouldn’t Democrats be compelled to take this accusation seriously?

    Sen. Scott can take this abuse. He doesn’t need anyone to defend him or his motives. But what he does need is a sober political culture that is committed to abandoning its double standards—one that observes how Democrats sacrificed the attainable and secured only the martyrdom of police reform. That would be a political culture that understands incremental reforms are not half measures but first steps. That would be a political culture that recognizes this debacle is a more politically advantageous outcome for Democrats than if these reforms had passed. That would be a political culture that proclaims, “black lives matter” and means it. And we don’t have one of those.”

    https://www.commentarymagazine.com/noah-rothman/does-tim-scotts-pain-matter/

    • WTF

      Sure, the murder of Floyd is on Republicans, because it took place in a city run by Democrats for over half a century, in a state with a Democrat governor and Democrat senators. The fact that Pelosi isn’t run out of society is a testament to the fact that this country is doomed and the republic is dead.

    • Rhywun

      Good. Let any Americans who are paying attention witness how fucking evil she and her clan are.

      • Sean

        ?

    • mrfamous

      “Newman’s Own to Change Logo to Pic of Huey Newton”

      lol

  26. DEG

    sends a nice takedown of FL COVID cases and why an uptick of cases is no reason to panic.

    Taxed, thank you! It is a good article.

    “Why are we releasing this information this way and at this time? Because it is the right thing to do,”

    Now you care about the right thing to do? Hmm….

  27. Derpetologist

    From Robert Spencer

    ***
    The far-Left rioters who attempted to topple the statue of Andrew Jackson in Washington, D.C.’s Lafayette Square Monday night almost certainly know nothing whatsoever about him. What they were told in the Antifa indoctrination camps that are called higher education these days is that he was largely responsible for the forcible exile of Native Americans from the Eastern United States, the Trail of Tears, and is thus to be reviled and hated forever. What they were not told is that Jackson’s rationale for adopting this policy was quite similar to several core Leftist beliefs today.

    As Rating America’s Presidents: An America-First Look at Who Is Best, Who Is Overrated, and Who Was An Absolute Disaster explains, Jackson was a foremost advocate for the removal of the Indians from the settled areas of the United States, and their relocation in unsettled areas of the West. In May 1830, he signed the Indian Removal Act that made this recommendation the law of the land. This is today considered to be one of the black marks on his presidency and a shameful period in the history of the United States. This is a reasonable judgment, as this policy amounted to penalizing all Indians for the misdeeds of some Indian warriors, and it led to untold suffering.

    It is noteworthy, however, particularly in light of the deep splits in American society today, that Jackson presented his Indian removal plan as beneficial not just for the Americans, but for the Indians as well. In his first annual message to Congress in December 1829, he said: “The condition and ulterior destiny of the Indian tribes within the limits of some of our states have become objects of much interest and importance. It has long been the policy of government to introduce among them the arts of civilization, in the hope of gradually reclaiming them from a wandering life.”

    Jackson pointed out that the endeavor to civilize the Indians was inconsistent with the practice of buying Indian land: “This policy has, however, been coupled with another wholly incompatible with its success. Professing a desire to civilize and settle them, we have at the same time lost no opportunity to purchase their lands and thrust them farther into the wilderness. By this means they have not only been kept in a wandering state, but been led to look upon us as unjust and indifferent to their fate. Thus, though lavish in its expenditures upon the subject, government has constantly defeated its own policy, and the Indians in general, receding farther and farther to the west, have retained their savage habits.”
    ***

    Eh, the Cherokee, Choctaw, Chickasaw, etc were already settled. That’s why they were called The Five Civilized Tribes. Jackson must have known this because he led an attack on a Red Stick (Baton Rouge) town at the Battle of Horseshoe Bend.

    Regardless, it is noteworthy that Jackson spoke explicitly about resettling Indians rather than fighting to exterminate them. Jackson felt guilty about his role in the war and adopted Indian sons as well as other children:

    ***
    Jackson had three adopted sons: Theodore, an Indian about whom little is known,[306] Andrew Jackson Jr., the son of Rachel’s brother Severn Donelson, and Lyncoya, a Creek Indian orphan adopted by Jackson after the Battle of Tallushatchee. Lyncoya died of tuberculosis on July 1, 1828, at the age of sixteen.[307]

    The Jacksons also acted as guardians for eight other children. John Samuel Donelson, Daniel Smith Donelson, and Andrew Jackson Donelson were the sons of Rachel’s brother Samuel Donelson, who died in 1804. Andrew Jackson Hutchings was Rachel’s orphaned grand nephew. Caroline Butler, Eliza Butler, Edward Butler, and Anthony Butler were the orphaned children of Edward Butler, a family friend. They came to live with the Jacksons after the death of their father.
    ***

    Fun fact: the names Dallas and Tulsa come from the Muskogee word for town. All the place names in the south that end in hassee or hatchee mean so-and-so river in that language. Tallahassee means river town.

    • Ted S.

      Fun fact: the names Dallas and Tulsa come from the Muskogee word for town.

      Dallas is generally considered to have been named after George Dallas, who was President Polk’s VP, although that’s disputed. None of the other theories have it named after a Muskogee (or any Indian) word.

      • Derpetologist

        [Clint Eastwood squint]

        [adds tally mark to “Ted S. was right” column]

        I must have mixed it up with some other city with the letters t-l-s or d-l-s .

        Well, here’s another Muskogee name:

        ***
        The name Talladega is derived from a Muscogee (Creek) Native American word Tvlvtēke, from the Creek tvlwv, meaning “town”, and vtēke, meaning “border” – indicating its location on the border between the Creeks and the Natchez.
        ***

    • Drake

      And we are supposed to believe that?

  28. hayeksplosives

    Before I let the news ruin my day, I wanted to share the wonders of modern free markets at work.

    For dinner, I had Lou Malnati’s deep dish. Not just a licensed item, mind you. I had a pizza made in Chicago delivered to my house. Delicious.

    It was a box of 6 packed in dry ice. God bless the USA.

    • Sean

      ????

    • Mad Scientist

      Before the haters gets here, I applaud your deep dish pizza dinner.

      • hayeksplosives

        Why thank you. I had my first Malnati pizza on the walk to Soldier Field.

    • Q Continuum

      Deep dish is the only true pizza.

      • TARDIS

        That’s like saying only (pick one) [redheads, Irish girls, girls with huge boobs, Demi Rose types, etc] are the only true women.

        In that vein, eat what you like.

      • DEG

        [redheads, Irish girls, girls with huge boobs, Demi Rose types, etc]

        Excellent mix. I can’t eat just one.

      • Digby's Peek-A-Boo!

        In that vein, eat what you like.

        If only.

      • Ayn Random Variation

        You sir are a traitor, rapscallion and a fucker of mothers

      • Digby's Peek-A-Boo!

        Excellent t-shirt/bumper sticker fodder!

    • egould310

      Lou Malnati’s is fucking godhead.

      I prefer the N Wells St location in Chicago. Good bar, nice place to watch NFL on a Sunday afternoon.

      Smooth move HS getting it shipped to San Diego. God bless America. ???

  29. Sean

    I need to give my liver a pep talk. Poor guy has been working OT.

    • DEG

      Maybe try something different than bourbon and rye? Might I suggest Calvados?

      • Sean

        I had some gin and tonics the other night. ?

      • DEG

        Good.

        I switched things up last night with some cider.

        I have barely touched my stash of hard liquor. I opened my last bottle of Pennsylvania White Tail bourbon.

        Hopefully the state Supreme Court does the right thing tomorrow (they said they’d rule on the dispute between Gauleiter Wolf and the legislature this week).

      • Sean

        ??

        Fingers crossed.

        I’m thinking 60% chance. I’m an optomist.

      • DEG

        Whenever shit gets back to normal, I’m heading to PA for a little bit. Central PA and the Philly area.

    • TARDIS

      Maybe our livers need a support group. My liver enzymes launched like a space-x rocket. ?

      • Derpetologist

        I decided to track down the original video your avatar is based on:

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-35-hdWUZuk

        Eh, track down is an exaggeration. The more unique info is, the easier it is to find.

      • TARDIS

        Someone sent that link to me in an email awhile ago. I had a hard time believing none of the people went airborne, but then I realized we are more aerodynamic.

      • Derpetologist

        As it says in 1 Drag Coefficients: Woe unto you who are great of surface area, for you shall surely inherit the wind.

      • TARDIS

        Ugh. Let me rephrase. We are less aerodynamic, with a higher CoD.

      • Derpetologist

        I vividly remember a problem I had on a test in engineering school about terminal velocity, which I hitherto thought of as merely an amusing movie title. Anyway, the question on the test was about a sky diver. There is an equation which relates terminal velocity, how spherical something is, drag coefficient, and volume. I couldn’t remember that equation, so I drew I diagram of an average male in the prone and then calculated the force of wind based on his exposed surface area. From there I calculated his terminal velocity based on g of 32 ft/s^2.

        I received full credit for my answer.

        the series of tubes says:

        ***
        Use the terminal velocity formula, v = the square root of ((2*m*g)/(ρ*A*C)).

        m = mass of the falling object.
        g = the acceleration due to gravity. …
        ρ = the density of the fluid the object is falling through.
        A = the projected area of the object. …
        C = the drag coefficient.
        ***

      • TARDIS

        What did use for C? Just curious as to what your actual calculated velocity was.

        The last time did this kind of math was to figure out how much BHp it would take to get a 1985 Corvette to 200 MPH.

      • Derpetologist

        I guess I don’t remember it that vividly. I was flailing and did my best with a force diagram. I remember approximating the skydiver’s head as a sphere, his torso as a rectangular solid, and his arms and legs as cylinders.

        something something assume a spherical cow

        Eh, whatever. I still have my Engineer In Training card in my wallet last I checked.

        It was frustrating to go through all that hard schooling and end up in jobs where 90% of my engineering knowledge was irrelevant.

        I didn’t study engineering because it was my passion. I did it because I got a scholarship and thought it was a safe move.

        Ben Whorf of the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis wasn’t a professional linguist. He was an engineer by profession and studied languages as a hobby.

        And now, my favorite TV theme song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyYt1P5rQLE

    • Ayn Random Variation

      Your liver is a wuss

    • TARDIS

      Love the disclaimer at the end.

      *rolls eyes, sees brain*

      Also, I agree with Mojo. It’s ‘shopped.

    • Sean

      Staged event.

      #fakenoose

  30. quincy

    Anybody here watching Korean baseball?

    • Sean

      Nope.

    • Drake

      I tried but the ESPN assholes kept talking over it until I gave up.

      • quincy

        I enjoy the splendid bewilderment of the sportscasting. The third spot in the Zoom chat is sometimes comedy gold.

    • Ted S.

      It’s baseball.

  31. Derpetologist

    Lots of spot the not material here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_band_name_etymologies

    ***
    ABBA — a palindromic acronym from the initials of the first names of the band members: Agnetha Fältskog, Björn Ulvaeus, Benny Andersson and Anni-Frid Lyngstad.[6] A producer of canned fish was already using the name Abba so the band asked permission from them to use the name ABBA.[7]

    Amon Amarth — Named after “Mount Doom”, in Tolkien’s Elvish speech.[23]

    Bachman–Turner Overdrive — A combination of band members’ last names and the magazine Overdrive. The band’s name had previously been “Bachman-Turner”. All band members agreed that Bachman-Turner Overdrive sounded cooler.[citation needed]

    Backstreet Boys — After a flea market in Orlando, Florida.[44]
    ..
    Butthole Surfers — The band, who previously changed their name at every gig, was performing an earlier version of 1984’s “Butthole Surfer” when the announcer forgot the band’s name and used the title of the song instead. They were forced to keep this name after the performance hit fame.[84]

    Cage The Elephant — After one of their shows, a mentally ill man approached frontman Matt Shultz, hugged him and said “you have to cage the elephant”.

    Childish Gambino — Donald Glover used a Wu-Tang Clan name generator in his sophomore year of college at NYU, inputting his real name and coming up with Childish Gambino.[93]

    Daft Punk — In 1992, being heavily influenced by The Beach Boys, they recorded songs under the name Darlin’, which was a Beach Boys single off their 1967 album Wild Honey. A negative review in the UK’s Melody Maker described their effort as “a daft punky thrash”, which depressed the pair but unwittingly gave them a name for their next project.
    ***

    I lost at “Wu-Tang Clan name generator”.

    I put my name into a “Black comedian stage name generator” and the result was Tiny Hurricane. Seems apt.

    • BakedPenguin

      I’d guess Backstreet Boys.

    • Crusty Juggler

      I think that guy is a troll.

      • commodious spittoon

        Major troll. He’s great on Dave Smith’s show, and vice versa.

  32. Crusty Juggler

    Daddy survived a meeting with 3 VPs today. Daddy is going to be in whiskey for the near future. Drink to daddy.

    Some meeting advice: be prepared and pretend you know what you’re doing.

    • Ted S.

      You survived getting shot by Dick Cheney?

    • Ayn Random Variation

      I don’t understand your posts

      • Crusty Juggler

        I’ll plant you now and dig you later

  33. Derpetologist

    More band name etymologies

    ***
    Dio — Named for vocalist Ronnie James Dio, because his name was already well known at that time.

    Dire Straits — Comes from the band’s financial situation at the time of forming.

    Duran Duran — Dr. Durand-Durand is the name of a character in the cult science fiction film Barbarella. The band played at Birmingham’s Barberella’s nightclub

    Earth, Wind & Fire — Frontman Maurice White’s astrological sign is Sagittarius, which has a primary elemental quality of fire and seasonal qualities of earth and air.

    Eiffel 65 — A computer chose the name Eiffel randomly from a group of words the three liked. The number 65 was added mistakenly to an early pressing of their first single, Blue (Da Ba Dee).

    Eurythmics — After Dalcroze eurhythmics, a pedagogical exercise system that founding member Annie Lennox had encountered as a child.

    Fountains of Wayne — Member Adam Schlesinger got his driver’s license at the DMV office next to a lawn ornament store (no longer in business) in Wayne, NJ called “Fountains of Wayne”. “We just thought it was funny”, Schlesinger said.

    Grateful Dead — The name was chosen from a dictionary. According to Phil Lesh, in his biography (pp. 62), “…Jerry Garcia picked up an old Britannica World Language Dictionary… In that silvery elf-voice he said to me, ‘Hey, man, how about the Grateful Dead?'” The definition there was “the soul of a dead person, or his angel, showing gratitude to someone who, as an act of charity, arranged their burial.” According to Alan Trist, director of the Grateful Dead’s music publisher company Ice Nine, Garcia found the name in the Funk & Wagnalls Folklore Dictionary, when his finger landed on that phrase while playing a game of “dictionary”.[152] In the Garcia biography, Captain Trips, author Sandy Troy states that the band was smoking the psychedelic DMT at the time. The term “grateful dead” appears in folktales of a variety of cultures.

    Hüsker Dü — Named after Hūsker Dū?, a Scandinavian memory-based board game that means (properly spelled as Husker Du? without the macrons) “Do you remember?” in Danish and Norwegian.[164] The band chose this after it was shouted out by an audience member at one of their early shows.

    Jefferson Airplane — Shortened from Blind Lemon Jefferson Airplane, which, according to Jorma Kaukonen, was coined by a friend as a satire of blues pseudonyms such as “Blind Lemon” Jefferson.[169]

    Lynyrd Skynyrd — After Leonard Skinner, a gym teacher at Robert E. Lee High School in Jacksonville, Florida who was notorious for strictly enforcing the school’s policy against boys having long hair.[195]

    Nirvana — Before settling on a permanent name, the band had played under many different names including ‘Throat Oyster’ and ‘Ted, Ed, Fred’. In Buddhism, nirvana means release from the cycle of rebirth and suffering. Kurt Cobain chose the name and defined it to his bandmates as a word that describes the ‘attainment of perfection’.

    Pink Floyd — Playing under multiple names, including “Tea Set”, when the band found themselves on the same bill as another band with the same name, Syd Barrett came up with the alternative name The Pink Floyd Sound, after two blues musicians, Pink Anderson and Floyd Council.[238][239] For a time after this they oscillated between The Tea Set and The Pink Floyd Sound, with the latter name eventually winning out. The Sound was dropped fairly quickly, but the definite article was still used regularly until 1970. The group’s UK releases during the Syd Barrett era credited them as The Pink Floyd as did their first two U.S. singles. The albums More and Ummagumma (both 1969) credit the band as Pink Floyd, produced by The Pink Floyd, while Atom Heart Mother (1970) credits the band as The Pink Floyd, produced by Pink Floyd. David Gilmour is known to have referred to the group as The Pink Floyd as late as 1984.[240]

    The Pogues — Originally called Póg mo Thóin – Irish for “Kiss my arse”. Shortened to The Pogues after complaints received by the BBC.[244]

    REO Speedwagon — After Ransom E. Olds’s REO Speed Wagon, which band founder Neal Doughty studied in his transportation history class at the University of Illinois.

    Smashing Pumpkins — Frontman Billy Corgan had come up with this name as a joke years before the band had ever formed. Whenever people asked if he was in a band, he would
    tell them it was called Smashing Pumpkins for a laugh. The name stuck after the band formed, despite dissension from fellow band members.

    Steely Dan — A dildo in the novel Naked Lunch by William S. Burroughs.[289]

    Sum 41 — The band started 41 days into the summer.[293] The band was originally a NOFX cover band named Kaspir; they changed their name to Sum 41 for a Supernova show on September 28, 1996.[293][294]

    Three Dog Night — According to The Three Dog Night Story, 1964–1975, vocalist Danny Hutton’s then-girlfriend June Fairchild suggested the name after reading a magazine article about indigenous Australians, in which it was explained that on cold nights they would customarily sleep in a hole in the ground whilst embracing a dingo, a native species of wild dog. On colder nights they would sleep with two dogs and if the night were freezing, it was a “three dog night”.

    Weezer — Lead vocalist Rivers Cuomo needed to come up with a name when the band received a big break to open for Keanu Reeves’ band Dogstar in 1992. Cuomo quickly nominated Weezer, a nickname given to him when he was a kid by other children who were teasing him about his asthma. Afterwards, the band had a long meeting and kicked around many more names, but nobody could come up with anything better.

    The Who — Were originally called The Detours, then changed their name to The Who after a suggestion by guitarist Pete Townshend’s friend Richard Barnes. Their first manager, Pete Meaden, renamed them The High Numbers, and they released one unsuccessful single, “Zoot Suit”, under that name. When EMI dropped them, the band sacked Meaden and went back to being called The Who. Another possible reason was because of Townshend’s grandmother, who would always refer to popular bands as “The Who?”, due to her impaired hearing.[314]

    And now you know.

    • Ayn Random Variation

      Was Led Zep really named thusly because they were predicted to fail like a lead blimp?

      Also Wu Tang Clan was named after a kung foo movie thing and is nothing to fuck with

      • Derpetologist

        according to legend…

        ***
        Wu-Tang Clan — RZA and Ol’ Dirty Bastard adopted the name for the rap group after seeing the Kung fu film Shaolin and Wu Tang, which features a school of warriors trained in Wu-Tang style.[320]

        Led Zeppelin — The band name “Led Zeppelin” refers to the Hindenburg disaster[citation needed]; and a joke made by Keith Moon and John Entwistle. The two were discussing the idea of forming a band with some prominent young guitarists at the time. Moon and Entwistle suggested that a supergroup containing themselves, Jimmy Page, and Jeff Beck would go down like a “lead balloon”, a British idiom for disastrous results.[189] They intentionally misspelled the name to ensure correct pronunciation by announcers.

        ***

        [Derp fairy farts like foghorn and flutters away like Tinkerbell]

      • BakedPenguin

        I thought they mis-spelled it for American audiences, b/c they were afraid it’d be called “Leed Zeppelin”

    • Chipwooder

      Supernova!!! Loved those guys.

      The Fountains of Wayne store was featured in a Sopranos episode once.

      • egould310

        Adam Schlesinger died of the ‘rona. Go figure.

    • Derpetologist

      Aww. Fun fact – bus is short for omnibus, meaning “for all” in Latin.

    • Crusty Juggler

      I can’t recommend this enough.

    • straffinrun

      Guess I’m on that guy’s side. *Shrugs*

  34. straffinrun

    Looking back, many of my comments are embarrassing, and it is frustrating that these thoughtless moments have become a weapon used by some to diminish my criticisms of social and other injustices. I have evolved and matured since my time at TOS. I know that this will not be the last I hear of this and that it will be used again to try to quiet me.
    I love this country too much to allow that. I won’t be bullied into silence by those who feign outrage to advance their oppressive and genuinely racist agendas.

    • Ted S.

      Only many of them? Not all of them?

    • Crusty Juggler

      YOU ARE A MONSTER AND WE WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!!!

    • TARDIS

      Fuck it. I blame my posts on alcohol. You can too.

    • Ayn Random Variation

      You deserve nothing short of a long painful death

  35. Gustave Lytton

    So if the pull cords were only fashioned into a noose in one garage, who is raycist that assigned it to the only black NASCAR driver?

    And obviously the fact that this noose was there for a long time but no one mentioned it is proof of systemic racism in nascar and society. Performative allies who allowed that noose to persist all this time. Doo better.

    • straffinrun

      Guess I missed the spin jobs. Is the argument now that it was racist or that we should understand why NASCAR thought it was racist?

      • CPRM

        Yes.

    • Ayn Random Variation

      I still can’t grok that this isn’t a Monthy Python skit or something.

    • westernsloper

      In my early morning checking of the twats I watched Bubba say, ‘ya, it was a noose, it was not a functional noose but it was a noose. The FBI said so!’ Ya dipshit driver and dipshit FBI agents, that is not a noose. Wraps on a line do not a noose make. Fuck, it is all so stupid and I feel stupid for even commenting on it but sweet jesus fucking stupid.

      • Rhywun

        Doesn’t matter. BLM won another round. NASCAR is going to be orgy of self-congratulatory twaddle from now until the end of time.

  36. Ayn Random Variation

    So the Philly mayor is planning to take down thr Columbus statue. In South Philly. Where all the Italians live. This is going to be epic

    • hayeksplosives

      When did we turn from melting pot (albeit with lumps) to tribalism, complete with magic flags and the like?

      • Ayn Random Variation

        I realized awhile ago that they don’t want equality or equal treatment. They want payback and power.
        Note that I’m not smart enough to know who they are

      • EvilSheldon

        The oppressed inevitably become the most enthusiastic oppressors.

    • Sean

      Fuck that guy.

      • Ayn Random Variation

        A bartender friend is getting excited that her betters might allow her to earn so she can eat soon

    • Rhywun

      Even in NYC they know that is a non-starter. Sure, Deblasio is itching to tear it down but he is trying to palm off the decision to his idiot wife in an attempt to make it go away.

    • Crusty Juggler

      There is only Philly mayor who mattered, and that’s Frank Rizzo.

      All others are crumb bums.

      • Crusty Juggler

        He treats the corporate tress with respect they deserve.

      • creech

        I had a cop acquaintance when Rizzo was Chief of Police. The decent folks in the ghetto loved Frank. Rizzo let the cops mete out billy club justice on the scum who would, for example, rob old ladies of their purses outside the check cashing agency on Social Security check day.
        There was also a tendency to look the other way when some lowlife would turn up dead, murdered by some vigilantes who took offense at the lowlife having raped a 12 year old and gotten off by some clever lawyer.

      • Crusty Juggler

        Of course he did. Frank Rizzo was a hero.

        And in reality, Frank Rizzo policing > modern militarized policing. Both are terrible and shouldn’t exist, but his is mostly better. Think about that. Frank Rizzo > 2001-2019 policing.

        My God. Bring back wheelguns.

      • DEG

        Rizzo had his problems, but he was nowhere near as bad as the usual suspects made him out to be.

      • DEG

        To clarify…. I’m not surprised the decent folks in the ghetto liked him. The usual suspects I reference identify with criminals.

    • DEG

      I thought the statue already came down?

  37. Donation Not Taxation

    ‘Donations, not Taxation’

    *checks username*

    Close enough. Thanks, Brett L.

    • hayeksplosives

      That was pretty surprising. She had shown her “Everyman” roots, and lost her show, lost access to woke Hollywood.

      I imagine being ostracized over views of her fictional character pushed her right over the fence.

      Not only did they “cancel” the real person, they killed off her self-named character, as close as they could come to murder.

      • straffinrun

        The thing about ostracizing people is that it doesn’t work when you’ve done it to so many people that they can form their own club.

      • Rhywun

        Like I mentioned earlier, I thought she was going to be unpersoned but instead her (old) show is on more times a day than ever. Heh, I’m watching it right now.

    • Incentives Matter

      Eh, why not? If Bill Clinton can be considered the first black U.S. President, I don’t see why Trump can’t be the first female U.S. President.

  38. Crusty Juggler

    I didn’t feel the courage to speak about this until tonight. I’m so scared but I felt this story needed to be told.

    When I was 15 years old reading tos straffinrun messaged. He said he thought I was cute and he wanted to get to know me. I was young and vulnerable at the time and wanted the attention. Little did i know straffinrun was a pedophile grooming me.

    He came in flirting hard and I admit I liked it. He used to ask me for sexy photos, mostly of my feet. What a creep lol. But I liked it. Then he asked my age and I said 15. He said that I was too young for him. I was devestated.

    Almost 3 years to the day he texted me asking “u up?” He then said he wanted to, and I quote, “cream my toes.” A few months later he was in my town and messaged me to hangout. Then he asked me to go to his hotel bar. We had a few drinks (even though I was underage lol) and he invited me up to his room. Then he took his dick out and rubbed it on my cheek, the bridge of my knows, the knuckles of my right hand, my right earlobe, along the inside of my right ear, and then on and in my shoes.

    He groomed me to rub his dick on my shoes.

    • Derpetologist

      I don’t use these words lightly – you sir, are a true American hero.

      Godspeed friend. May the good Lord watch over you and all in your house.

      • Don Escaped MLB

        sure, why not

        / eats soft cheese with a spoon, chases it with diet beer

    • straffinrun

      And that’s how I earned my handle.

    • Tejicano

      What? No tentacles? No Uni flavored gummy bears? He didn’t teach you how to whine about his whiskers in Gyaru-speak?

      I’m not buying it for a minute.

      • Crusty Juggler

        Straffinrun told me, and I quote, that “white women age like wet cheese.”

        Then he spit on my exposed toes.

    • pistoffnick

      Did you like it?

    • Derpetologist

      a similar story in real life featuring a certain popular singer from Canada…

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OyOTsj1_WEU

      the twist: said singer posted hotel receipts on Twitter proving he was nowhere near the accuser when the alleged crime took place, and the singer is now suing said accuser.

      • Rhywun

        Belieb him!

      • Mojeaux

        That’s respectable.

    • slumbrew

      This is obviously bullshit.

      You were never cute.

      • Digby's Peek-A-Boo!

        OF COURSE it’s bullshit!!

        Look–straff asks for pics of thighs and necks, not feet. I know this; you know this. CJ is just trying to gin up some kind of weird cyber-fame thing, and doing so on straff’s good name.

    • Ayn Random Variation

      I just saw that. It will be replayed in philly shortly

    • mikey

      Heh. I like the old guy with a cane joining in the chase.
      It’s not just funny it’s what needs to happen.

  39. Ayn Random Variation

    Would it be ok to post the text from a work BLM email here? I promise it will induce vomit

    • straffinrun

      You can’t spell NAMBLA without BLM. Just sayin’.

  40. Hyperion

    My only follower so far on Paler is Sad Beard. LOL, seriously I am not making that shit up. I replied to the tard on a post and said ‘That you, Sad Beard?’, and I guess he thinks that’s a compliment now, lololoo, fuck Sad Beard is following me. Truth is stranger than fiction.

    • Hyperion

      Parler. I’m a little drunk, but still…

      • Hyperion

        Baruka Ando
        @AndoBaruka

        Is that you? I think you might have posted that yesterday, can’t remember?

        I’m Hyperion The Unwoke. I’ll follow you. So far I’m only following The Rand. Someone gotta protect him from Jap tackling.

      • straffinrun

        Follow me and I follow you. Rulz.

      • Hyperion

        Rulez!

      • Hyperion

        Oh, shit, that’s Twatter. Are you the same on Parler?

      • straffinrun

        Not on Parler. Haven’t even looked at it yet. Saw that it got 500k new members this week. Hmmmm.

      • Hyperion

        You should join. Maybe Sad Beard will follow you. But I will for sure.

      • Mojeaux

        @Hyperion, I followed you.

      • Digby's Peek-A-Boo!

        Same here, for you and Mojeaux

      • westernsloper

        I followed you. That site sucks.

      • westernsloper

        Although I did learn when you misspell parler as parlor the latter looks interesting in a nsfw way. I wonder who owns who?

      • AlmightyJB

        Shania Twain started following me, and now she wants to chat outside of twitter. Wife doesn’t seem concerned.

      • straffinrun

        Trade ya.

    • Ayn Random Variation

      Lead him on. Get him to say something that will cancel him. We all know these types who will say what they really think when they think they are around normals

      • Hyperion

        It would probably be harder to get cancelled there than on TOS, from what I’ve seen so far. I’m not sure how more offensive the Twat could be. But I will have fun with it for sure.

    • Gender Traitor

      What did you do about the request for a phone number to sign up? (I haven’t seen Tom T. to ask him what he did – I went swimming after work, and he’s off at an open mic night.)

      • Ayn Random Variation

        Hey many thanks. You inspired me and I’m to 30 push ups every morning

      • Gender Traitor

        Who? Me? I’m loving my twice-a-week swims, but they may be doing as much or more for my mental health than for my physical health. I’m just doing easy backstroke laps, and it’s become my “me” time. I can’t be multitasking – it’s just me and my thoughts (with the brain cells not required to keep me afloat.)

    • Crusty Juggler

      This so-called “man” is obviously taunting me for my small, hairy breasts.

      I’m sorry, straffinrun, that I have a REAL woman with REAL breasts. We all can’t be your chink anime ideal.

      straffinrun hates us!

      #banstraffinrun! He is a pedo rapist tit hater!

  41. Derpetologist

    today I learned

    ***
    Italian, plural of lasagna, based on Latin lasanum ‘chamber pot’, perhaps also ‘cooking pot’.
    ***

    [chef’s kiss] Mange! Mange tutti! Eat-a alla my shit-a yousa no-gooda scumma-bags!

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQYN2P3E06s

    • Rhywun

      It’s “mangia”.

      /pedant-o

      • pistoffnick

        mangina, please.

      • pistoffnick

        *tucks balls back and up*

      • Digby's Peek-A-Boo!
      • commodious spittoon
  42. Gustave Lytton

    WTF happened to ordinary hair gel that leaves your hair crunchy like Dep? It’s all waxes and pomade and scented shit. Fucking hipsters. Diaf.

    • Rhywun

      WTF happened to ordinary hair that isn’t all gelled up? 😉

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        What happened to Aquanet?

      • Gender Traitor

        I have a can. Won it as a door prize at our ’80s-themed staff holiday party last winter. As far as I’m concerned, its highest and best use is as a propellant for a spud cannon.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Wow, I didn’t know it was even a going business now.

      • Gender Traitor

        I haven’t seen it in stores, but I don’t buy hair spray anyway. (All kinds of other ridiculously expensive hair crap, but not hair spray.) I suspect the party organizers found it on Amazon.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Hasn’t been mine for twenty five years. But wifey wants it spiked and trying to find gel like I remember is like walking out of a bomb shelter to find the whole world has moved on. And not for the better.

        At least I’m not trying to find VO5 or Brylcreem.

      • Rhywun

        I put the rise of too much hair gel up there with the rise of tatts as “something awful”. And both happened around the same time.

        Yeah, some men need it but the vast majority don’t.

        PS. I liked Brylcreem for awhile. Made my hair soft.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I’m going back under a rock and wait it out.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Not to mention trying to find some Dapper Dan.

      • Digby's Peek-A-Boo!

        I don’t-want-FOP!

        +2 weeks/everywhere

      • slumbrew

        They’re called cowlicks. Why must you other my Irish hair?

    • slumbrew

      I will recommend this. Feel free to go for ‘medium’ or ‘firm’ if that’s insufficiently crunchy.

    • Mojeaux

      I’mma write him in.

      • pistoffnick

        Better than the two nominal candidates.

        Shit sandwich vs. turd chowder.

      • straffinrun

        In lead. Makes a purty ballot.

    • Gustave Lytton

      I can’t believe you forgot the curse of the colonel in your tweet. They took down Sanders years ago.

      • straffinrun

        Damn Hanshin fans.

  43. commodious spittoon

    Ben Domenech
    @bdomenech

    Sports, even when it comes back, will suck.

    This is not about politics. It’s about the inability of athletes to get in any kind of rhythm. The constant disruptive shutdowns will ruin everything. Offseasons without practice or training. Injuries will skyrocket.

    I would almost rather have little or no sports til early next year than risk the physical damage and ended careers athletes will experience by trying to force this.

    Not to mention the obnoxious, apparently unavoidable performative wokeness.

    • Gustave Lytton

      It’s about the inability of athletes to get in any kind of rhythm.

      ?

      • hayeksplosives

        What, athletes of color are quitting sports altogether??

  44. Tres Cool

    UNITED STATES OF INFECTED
    GOVERNORS BACKTRACK
    PRESIDENT IGNORES

    G_d- I hope Matt got big check for selling that site

    • slumbrew

      I was never any sort of any regular reader, but I’m still saddened by the skin-suiting of the site.

    • Chafed

      What’s wrong with his reply?

    • straffinrun

      He’s saying that systemic racism doesn’t mean the individuals are racist and yet they are the ones following the orders. At least the “cops are racist” crowd isn’t personifying systems.

    • Rhywun

      Someone has a lot of time on their hands.

    • slumbrew

      Oof. I don’t even speak the language, but maybe skip that imagery.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Nice.

  45. gbob

    This is hard for me to write.

    When I was younger, just a kid at the age of 40, I would go to bars, get drunk, and say terrible things when hitting on women. On more than one occasion, I would suggest to a young girl, with no sense of agency at the age of 25, that we have sex, despite me not being really attractive. Lured in by my malfeasance, I would have relations, which I now realize was rape, since most women regret having sex with me.

    Rest assured, I am terribly sorry and will report to my daily struggle sessions just as soon as I leave this re-education facility.

    • IntraveneousWoodChipper

      Believe it or not, there are she-wenches that I also sincerely regret canoodling.

      I too, am a victim of regret-sex-rape.

    • slumbrew

      “When I was younger, just a kid at the age of 40,”… ” a young girl… at the age of 25″.

      Nobody likes a braggart.

      • Tres Cool

        w/e
        Happened to me too- thats why I have a 12 year-old that costs me nearly $800/month

      • gbob

        If you just offer them candy, most 12 year olds wont try to charge you 800 a month. Wait. Perhaps I misread your post.

    • straffinrun

      Start wanking during your struggle session. They’re gonna off you anyways and so finish with bang.

      • Digby's Peek-A-Boo!

        I thought it was a whimper….

  46. Digby's Peek-A-Boo!

    “A whale’s vagina”, indeed.

    * Isn’t the lady kinda the opposite of a Karen? I mean, she is fighting against some rules, it seems. “Asshole”, probably, though.

    * “Lenin”??? That’s what you named the fucking kid? This is starting to sound too good to be true.

    *”professional dancer” ::snickers::

    • Rhywun

      Tips for Lenin Standing Up To A San Diego Karen

      I want off this planet.

      • Digby's Peek-A-Boo!

        That Matt Damon-on-Mars movie is starting to look like it’s worth trying. Or, Interstellar. We’ll find a damned wormhole somewhere…

  47. Digby's Peek-A-Boo!

    It sure does seem like a lot of you around here give a shit about NASCAR.

    Just sayin’….

    • Chafed

      You noticed that too.

  48. Gustave Lytton

    Local media is reporting about a cluster of coronavirus cases in teens related to a “house party”. Of course, first thing I think of…

    https://youtu.be/Z1l5PFs2eTc

      • Digby's Peek-A-Boo!

        Here I was, hoping imaging it was gonna mention “rainbow parties”.

    • Digby's Peek-A-Boo!

      KICK STEEEEEEP!

    • Digby's Peek-A-Boo!

      How likely are they to succeed, do you think?

      • Digby's Peek-A-Boo!

        Hmmm…..this means I want to nail the Dean’s Mayor’s wife.

  49. salted earth

    Things seem a little weird.

    • Digby's Peek-A-Boo!

      I like to call it “mild unreality”.

      Of course, the mildness is fading fast.

      • salted earth

        is the unreality measurement/level similar to the heat level scale of hot sauce or spicy food?

      • Digby's Peek-A-Boo!

        Courics/Fecal size. Seems more…..fitting?

      • Digby's Peek-A-Boo!

        The mildness isn’t really the scale, so much as descriptive of the emotional feeling engendered.

      • salted earth

        kind of like heat rising from asphalt, just a bit of a mirage

    • Rhywun

      I just woke up from a terrifying nightmare that seems inspired by the current weirdness. I’m going to stay awake for an hour or two now and try to digest it.

      • salted earth

        no bueno

      • Digby's Peek-A-Boo!

        If it’s the current weirdness, I suggest a good ol’ puking it out.

  50. Digby's Peek-A-Boo!

    If Parler is gonna be a thing, especially around here, you can find me as LordDigby.

    You make me regret this decision, and I’ll kill ya.

    • salted earth

      sounds like a board game

      • egould310

        For ages 6 to 96!

      • Digby's Peek-A-Boo!

        “96”… ::snickers::

      • egould310

        Dork.

      • Digby's Peek-A-Boo!

        I (don’t) try.

      • salted earth

        Hopefully, Parler doesn’t have Community Chest cards.
        Sad trombone…Go to jail. Go directly to jail. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.

  51. Yusef drives a Kia

    I leave for a day and the place is falling apart? No night posts, comments are lacking, Why for come Glibs?

    • Digby's Peek-A-Boo!

      Seems like everyone feels a bit weird/off/discombobulated

      Couldn’t resist…

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I like it, I larfed

  52. Digby's Peek-A-Boo!

    BTW–should anyone be interested in this bit of tid*: If I’m reading things correctly over on our Discord server, there are plans being made to move off of Discord, should their purgers feel the need to start cancelling the non-woke.

    Those that show up here can confirm/clarify this, or, correct me, if I got it wrong.

    *I presume a tidbit is a bit of tid.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I don’t Discord or Zoom, just the Old fashioned Website,
      /get off my flip phone!

  53. Yusef drives a Kia

    Here’s one, I now own a Stepford Dog, or,
    My Little Zombie!
    She even walks into Walls!

    • Digby's Peek-A-Boo!

      She even walks into Walls!

      I thought that was reserved for cats…
      Is she a new addition, or, did Bella take on a new role?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        White Punks on Dope, it sucks, I like my wacky poodle,

      • Festus' Mustache

        Saw them in ’83. Stadium seating so didn’t get the full effect. Tis a pity.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Just more of the everyday dysfunction we’ll be seeing in cities with mayors that refuse to do their jobs. It seems like the law abiding taxpayers that don’t want to live in a nuthouse would show up at city hall with tar and feathers but people must have more way more patience than I give them credit for.

    • Gender Traitor

      Oh, just swell. Can we just evacuate the Glibs who are on the wrong side of the Sierra Nevada/Cascade range, then go do some extensive fracking along the San Andreas Fault?

      Morning, Sean & Stinky!

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Guten Morgen

      • UnCivilServant

        Gluten Morgan, the yeastiest pirate.

      • Sean

        Silly day?

      • Sean

        ?

        I’m determined to have a good day.

      • Festus' Mustache

        “She thicc as oatmeal”

  54. Stinky Wizzleteats

    An interesting RT article on the CV death rate that came out about a month ago. It looks like the overall death rate is around one in 250 and that’s just for symptomatic cases (via CDC data):

    https://www.rt.com/usa/489823-musk-cdc-covid-fatalities/

    Why oh why didn’t the media disseminate this info (don’t bother, rhetorical question)?

  55. Festus' Mustache

    I switched the channel on the way to work last night. This is the CBC’s idea of a Top Story. https://youtu.be/yDV5-Z8lCm0 I only listened to the radio version but in what way is this the leading item for a national news broadcast? The other four items all had to do with race and gender politics. I’m fucking done.

    • Festus' Mustache

      ETA – one of the stories was about dire predictions of the “second wave” of Flu Manchu. Nothing else of note happening around the country or the rest of the world. Slow news day, I suppose.

      • Gender Traitor

        A slow news day may be the best we can hope for right about now.

      • Festus' Mustache

        I wish it were so. They just won’t cover the news that matters anymore. I (taxpayer) fund this Pravda.

    • Festus' Mustache

      Saw the screen grab and was nope nope nope.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Probably said something like “Hey man, can y’all back off a bit?” Sounds like the aggressive fuck had it coming.

      • Festus' Mustache

        He was innocently flicking a booger. Signals were crossed. Some youths did some things.

    • JD is in the United Karendom

      For some morons, apparently it’s open season on easy targets because “black lives matter” or something.

      • Festus' Mustache

        Heh. I like the description of the riot in Brixton as a “street party”. Never change, BBC.

      • JD is in the United Karendom

        Oi!

      • Rhywun

        When I was little it took me a while to realize that song was not about the Electric Avenue near my house.

  56. Not an Economist

    The ultimate home defense weapon.

    Yes or no?

    Compact. More rounds then most weapons have. Definitely won’t penetrate through multiple walls so when shooting inside you don’t need to worry about harming anybody outside the house.

    • Festus' Mustache

      Gun Jesus reviewed a 22lr fully auto sub-machine gun that I’d like to own but never could. Sounds like an old-timey typing pool.

  57. Sean

    Yes, I donated.

    One of the other sad stories in the recent unrest.