Thursday (yes, I checked) Morning Links

by | Jun 25, 2020 | Daily Links | 732 comments

This goal was a cracker.

Liverpool smacked the shit out of Crystal Palace. Everton managed a win. So did ManUre. And Wolves moved into Europa League range. The PGA is becoming more cautious about their return to play. And that’s about it for sports.

More accurate than Nostradamus

The (unfortunately) accurate George Orwell was born on this day. He shares it with NBA great Willis Reed, singer Carly Simon, actor/comedian Jimmy Walker, guitarist Ian McDonald, foodie who killed himself Anthony Bourdain, social commenter and actor Ricky Gervais, Wham!’s George Michael, groundbreaking basketball player Dikembe Mutombo, pitcher Aaron Sele, infielder CarlosDelgado, and actress Busy Phillips.

Not the best list, that’s for sure. Top-heavy. Anyway, on to…the links!

“You mean I’m gonna stay this color?”

We’ve solved racism! Oh wait, never mind. We’ve just pandered a bit more.

Wait, that’s the reason you rescinded the exception? It’s not, you know, because it violates the equal protection clause and civil rights act? Because it very much did both, you racist.

“When they kick at your front door, how you gonna come?”

Brits are getting sick of shit as well. Well, sick of something. I wish they’d list what the reason for the “street party” on a Wednesday night was.

“Ask and ye shall receive.” Oh, you didn’t want this? Well, then maybe you should have thought of the consequences before you made such extreme demands, dumbasses.

Well it’s about freaking time! Let me guess: they’ll be painted as intolerant racists by the mayor and ignored by the governor. Because neither of those two dumbasses care at all about individual liberty or property rights.

Free this man, you idiots.

Dear Trump and Barr, go fuck yourselves. That’s the nicest way I can put this.

Of course they did. Expecting the city who allows their cops to get away with murder on the regular to remove cops from schools is a bridge too far. Somehow, I bet the voters keep putting the same idiots in charge though. They’ve done it for more than 80 years, after all.

You know what? I actually believe her. This wasn’t about grandstanding. This is because at her core, she’s a mean-spirited sociopath who loves seeing people get thrown in jail and abused by cops. Half of her political record is based on doing so.

That’s fine. We just won’t visit your states where the death rate is ::checks notes:: 20 times that of ours. Besides, we should leave you alone to bury all the people you stuck in nursing homes. Fuck you, Cuomo.

A theme for Gen X. Probably. Maybe. Either way, a great song, so enjoy it.

Now get out there and have a great day, friends!

About The Author

sloopyinca

sloopyinca

732 Comments

  1. Pat

    Wait, that’s the reason you rescinded the exception?

    “Well we wanted to pass laws that exclude some races and include others, but these goddamn racists got all uppity about it”

    • Festus' Mustache

      You were 1st. Someone owes you beak-wetting.

      • UnCivilServant

        Is that a limey-ism for a bloodied nose?

      • Festus' Mustache

        No. That’s Canadian for the ass-slapping gif.

      • Festus' Mustache

        HUZZAH! Thanks Friend! I needed that! Read below…

      • Festus' Mustache

        Always wondered why just a few? Too much bandwidth?

      • Swiss Servator

        We have had a couple of remarks made that made us think….and now have us keeping the stuff like that by link (if done), not directly in the posts.

        Breaking that or the like out once in a while for a bit is OK, however.

      • Pat

        Gotta keep the certified family friendly rating yo.

      • Festus' Mustache

        Fucking Karen…

    • Sensei

      I’m dizzy. I’m not sure if is the spin from CNN or the spin from the county.

      • Ted S.

        It’s from the way CNN brings my browser to a screeching halt.

      • pan fried wylie

        It’s entirely reasonable for web browsing to require gigaMIPS of processing power.

  2. Pat

    Brits are getting sick of shit as well.

    “What’s all this then? You got a loicense for that street party mate?”

    • Nephilium

      Maybe street party is one of those strange British expressions, like knocked up, lift, boot, boffin, fag, and cunt?

      • Festus' Mustache

        Riot?

      • Nephilium

        Tired and emotional is one of my favorites.

        And I think they call a riot a football match.

      • DEG

        That was my first thought on reading the article.

      • sloopyinca

        Did they end up in hospital?

    • sloopyinca

      Oi! Listen, mate! Fuck off, ya cunt!

  3. Pat

    Dear Trump and Barr, go fuck yourselves.

    Trump: “We’re gonna take down this deep state conspiracy to undermine my presidency with illegal spying!”

    Also Trump: “Fuck Edward Snowden and Julian Assange, traitors deserve death!”

    • Festus' Mustache

      “Statues not Statutes!” Fucking moran.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I half believe that was throwing a bone to the L&O types in the agencies so they can clean house.

      • sloopyinca

        I don’t. I fully believe it’s stupidity.

      • R C Dean

        Concur. If anything, this is the Deep Staters signaling they are still in charge by going after the scalp of one of their enemies.

  4. Pat

    Also 4rd

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      4rd sucks.

      Toyota is better.

      • Festus' Mustache

        More reliable but much harder to work on.

  5. Rebel Scum

    “The expressions of racism regarding the exception has created a ripple of fear throughout our communities of color. The very policy meant to protect them, is now making them a target for further discrimination and harassment,” Lincoln County leaders said Wednesday.

    The exception itself was racist.

    • Rhywun

      Gold star to the toady who came up with that pathetic attempt at backpedaling.

      • Rhywun

        *uncontrolled rage and vomiting*

      • Rhywun

        PS. the cognitive dissonance from some of those commenters is shocking. Or would be, if I didn’t know better In These Trying Times.

      • Tundra
      • Rhywun

        Wow, that is a blast from the past.

      • sloopyinca

        Thanks, asshole. I was ending the week with that (song about Texas) tomorrow. Now I have to regroup.

      • Tundra

        We’ve been doing this for years now. How on earth did you think that Speaking of toadies. (Toadys? Toadies?) wouldn’t trigger the worn synapses of my 90’s soaked brain?

        It’s a fucking great song, though. Use it anyway.

      • bacon-magic

        ^^^

      • sloopyinca

        Nah. You’re probably getting Culture Club now. And I’m gonna make sure everybody knows why. ?

      • Tundra

        Do you really want to hurt me?

        Joke’s on you, though. I love CC!

      • bacon-magic

        I’ve never seen the video…thanks!

      • TARDIS

        #metoo

      • Apples and Knives

        Great song. And I spent a couple summer camps at Possum Kingdom. Great place to jump off cliffs into deep water.

      • Seguin

        Growing up in DFW, they played almost the entire first album on the radio throughout the Nineties. I didn’t know that they were a one-hit wonder outside my city.

        Which is a shame, Rubberneck is a fantastic album, especially the tape as Got a Heart was on it but not the CD.

        Their unreleased second album Feeler (which is available on the internet for free in places – don’t confuse it with the new Feeler album from the 2000’s. The newer stuff lacks the edge/passion) is also great.

        Hell Below/Stars Above (technically their second album, but there’s a story there) is also very good, but I think it lacks something. The songs from that album are much better on Live from Paradise, which is an awesome live album.

      • Seguin

        Damnit, you fools got me on a Toadies kick now. Got a Heart, Mister Love, Littlefish, I come from the Water, gaaahhhh so gooood.

    • sloopyinca

      Nah. They’re government officials. They always mean well. It’s those bigots demanding equal protection under the law who are the bad guys here.
      Damn uppity honkeys.

  6. Festus' Mustache

    Shame about Jenny. She’s cute as all get out but I somehow knew she’d be a raging leftist.

    • Nephilium

      Somewhat related, it looks like Tina Fey is the next one in the takedown crosshairs.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’m interested in whether or not she will cave and grovel before the new overlords or if she will grow a spine and tell them to fuck off.

        If it’s the latter, she’ll be the hottest MILF on the planet.

      • Nephilium

        My guess would be she’ll tell them to fuck off. She already pushed back in Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt season 2.

      • sloopyinca

        The smart play is to neither give in or tell them to fuck off. It’s to ignore them. Because at the end of the day, they’re not worth wasting energy on. And if the producers decide to replace you, you quietly sue them and they settle.

      • robc

        She already had the 4 blackface episodes removed from streaming and syndication. She is trying to play the middle ground, but she is already not telling them to fuck off.

      • Pat

        Disclaimer: I’m about to say something sexist

        You will NEVER see a woman in that position actually stand up to the mob. Not because women can’t be courageous, but because social conformity and consensus is how women deal with conflict.

      • Idle Hands

        Meh. There have been plenty of independent thinking women who told the mob to fuck off. Rand, Thatcher, Coulter, Paglia, Shriver and probably many others I’m forgetting. There are actually quite a few women fire brands.

      • Swiss Servator

        Heck, the are still going after Anita Bryant.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        She played her own political games garnering laughs off Sarah Palin’s back so I’m not too sympathetic.

        That being said, I back her and any celebrity who did something in the past. No one should lose their jobs over this stuff. Don’t back down. Hold the line. DON’T APOLOGIZE.

        The more go Terry Crews’ route the more the chain link strengthens, the more this crap recedes because I’m almost certain people are too scared (or cowardly) to admit they think this is all wrong but go along because they don’t want to be cancelled.

        But Fey already gave them some blood. The sooner we imagine these bloodsuckers like bloodsucking Zombies the quicker we realize they’re already dead in the soul and the more courage we have to knock the Zombies out.

    • Idle Hands

      I mean she’s an idiot. But she’s an idiot with integrity to actually lose a paycheck over her beliefs.

  7. straffinrun

    The Seattle business and property owners should be awarded the residents of CHOP as slaves.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      *golf clap*

    • Nephilium

      That could work in Ohio.

      • straffinrun

        That’ll be tough to overturn. How you gonna tax people for the crime of existing in Ohio?

      • straffinrun

        Such a fun word to say, yet such a bad word to hear.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Penaltax

    • Below Sea Level Hell Centro

      “Toby! Fetch me a soy latte extra foam and secure me a copy of the New York Times.”

  8. Swiss Servator

    That ABC article really laid on “The Summer of Love” spin.

    And I don’t know why I ever click on a CNN link. Think I will stop.

    • straffinrun

      Literal LOL at reading that CNN headline.

      • Festus' Mustache

        “Member when we used to watch CNN to see Iraqi equipment go boom? Festus Farms remembers…”

      • TARDIS

        I remember thinking we were so awesome. I feel stupid now.

    • Rhywun

      I’m pretty sure “festive atmosphere” has been added to AP’s style guide.

  9. Rufus the Monocled

    “But following the announcement, county leaders received unprecedented vitriol and “horrifically racist commentary” that turned the policy into one that makes people of color more of a target for harassment and discrimination, the statement said.”

    Do they not see what they did was indeed….racist in of itself? Of course not.

    I’d love to see these ‘horrifically racist commentary’. With all the race-hoaxing going on, why should anyone believe them? Race hucksters are LIARS. There I said it.

    So I looked for some ‘horrific’ examples but could only find these:

    “This (wearing a mask) seems like a reasonable response unless you just sort of take American society out of it,” Trevor Logan, an economics professor at Ohio State University and a Black man, told CNN. “When you can’t do that, you’re basically telling people to look dangerous given racial stereotypes that are out there.”

    Beep, beep, beep! Enlightened professor enters the room!

    “It’s a “lose-lose” scenario, ReNika Moore of the ACLU’s Racial Justice Program told CNN in April, because either way, Black Americans feel endangered.”

    They’ve even managed to racialize a virus.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The progs have opened a Pandora’s box. Now that any cry of racism must be accepted at face value and not questioned, it’s only a matter of time before everyone else catches on to the tactic and starts using it for themselves.

      • Viking1865

        They’ll never allow it. Shit, Dick Durbin openly called Tim Scott’s bill a “token”. No condemnation. No outrage. Leftists routinely call nonleftist POC Uncle Toms and sellouts.

    • Rhywun

      They’ve even managed to racialize a virus.

      “Black and Brown hardest hit”

      The NYT racialized it months ago.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        If memory serves me, I thought Bloomberg tried to make it about women and how Covid was impacting them more than men?

      • Rhywun

        I don’t remember that. I think it was known early on that men were significantly more impacted than women.

      • IntraveneousWoodChipper

        I do remember them saying that, while more men were dying, women were “harder hit” by the whole quarantine scenario. It was laughably bad spin.

      • Viking1865

        “Women have always been the primary victims of war. Women lose their husbands, their fathers, their sons in combat.”

        ― Hillary Rodham Clinton

    • IntraveneousWoodChipper

      “Professor of Economics and a Black man”

      1. Why do we care what an econ prof thinks here again?

      2. Oh, he’s not an oppressor, so his opinion is valid and must be heard. Makes sense.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        ‘As a black man….’

        Nobody who is black can have wrong think!

      • Not Adahn

        No no, you’ve got that backwards. No one who wrongthinks can be black.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    Off with his head!

    The CrossFit controversy erupted earlier this month when the Institute for Health Metrics and Evaluation, a research center, tweeted, “Racism and discrimination are critical public health issues that demand an urgent response,” along with the hashtag #BlackLivesMatter.

    Glassman responded: “It’s Floyd-19.” In another tweet, he added, “Your failed model quarantined us and now you’re going to model a solution to racism?” The comments cause a backlash on social media, including among some CrossFit gym owners, leading Glassman to apologize. But the brouhaha caused Reebok to end its partnership with the brand.

    ——-

    Glassman will now sell CrossFit to Eric Roza, the owner of a CrossFit gym in Boulder, Colorado, who will also take over as CEO.

    “Since I discovered CrossFit 10 years ago, it has changed my life, and I am deeply honored to have the opportunity to lead CrossFit through its next chapter as CEO and owner, following the closing next month,” Roza said in a statement.

    Roza also acknowledged the “divisive statements and allegations” that alienated some CrossFit members. “My view is simple: Racism and sexism are abhorrent and will not be tolerated in CrossFit,” he said.

    Anti-SCIENCE bigotry cannot be tolerated by tolerant and enlightened cultists. Banishment is not enough.

    • Pat

      To be fair, Crossfitters and vegans are the only people who can give SJWs a decent run for their money in the “holy fucking Christ will you please shut the fuck up” department.

      • robc

        Add fantasy football owners to the list.

      • Trigger Hippie

        So my FF draft is at the end of next month and I’ve been researching….

      • Mad Scientist

        And foodies. No one gives a fuck how long you sou vided your lunch, pal.

      • Not Adahn

        On Sunday, my farmer is going to be dropping off a whey-fed, acorn finished woodland raised pork shoulder from a Hungarian Mangalitsa crossbreed. I plan to start it in the sous vide for…

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Glassman was right though.

      But not a cult. Nope.

    • WTF

      Maybe it’s me, but I fail to see how his remarks are racist.

      • IntraveneousWoodChipper

        Yeah, that was the most innocuous thing I’ve seen online in awhile. Why the fuck is he stepping down for that?

      • Not Adahn

        Criticizing government-approved Experts(tm) is racist. Because only racists question what the government tells them.

  11. robc

    For baseball birthdays, you hit #1 and #5 in WAR. Between Delgado at #1 and Sele are Aramis Ramirez, Joe Kuhel (who?), and Mike Stanley.

    Kuhel played from 1930-47, which is why I guess I have never heard of him. But he has nearly 30 WAR (29.2), which makes it really odd that I don’t know his name. He played his entire career for the Senators and White Sox, that explains it.

    • Gdragon

      I had never heard of Kuhel before either (I think you’re right that it’s a Senators thing) but he looks kind of like a poor man’s Mike Hargrove? To be honest I’m surprised that his skill/stat profile produced 30 WAR.

      • robc

        He got MVP votes in 5 seasons. He racked up over 4 WAR in 1945, that was one of the weakest years in BB history, so not hard to dominate then. He was 39, I guess that was how he avoided the draft. He had another 4 WAR season in 1936 and finished 6th in MVP vote.

        Lots of years of just a bit above replacement and 5 years over 3 WAR. His best 5 years was 18.9 of his 29.2 WAR. They were scattered throughout his career.

      • robc

        For those who don’t know, just how weak was 1945:

        Pete Gray
        Position: Outfielder

        Bats: Left • Throws: Left • Fields Left as well <—He only had one arm.

        He hit 2 triples and 13 RBI in 77 games.

      • Gdragon

        Oh yeah, those war years are always kinda tough to evaluate. For everyone pretty much, the good players, bad players and everyone in-between.

  12. Rufus the Monocled

    Minneapolis. /face palm.

    Have people truly become this retarded? Is it really that bad?

    The best strategy for cops and Trump really is: Do nothing.

    • IntraveneousWoodChipper

      When a child destroys their room do you ask them to go ahead and then buy them all new toys to make it better when they are done?

      No bailout for cities that let this shit happen to them. I ain’t paying a cent to help MN or Seattle rebuild the stuff their local governments allowed (or even encouraged) to be destroyed

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Yes but will that happen anyway?

  13. Rhywun

    LOL: Remember those private donations funding free booze and drugs for San Francisco’s shelter-challenged at luxury hotels? Yeah, that was a lie. And the city doesn’t want you to know about any part of the shitshow.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I knew SF was shithole, but wow…

      If neighborhood residents were more aware of the influx of these new guests who frequently suffer from drug addiction and severe mental illness as well as having criminal backgrounds, they might object. Consequently, the city has evoked emergency-disaster law to keep the information private. Officials refuse to notify the public about what is happening in their community and are blocking the press by withholding the list of hotels and preventing reporters from entering the properties. The Department of Emergency Management has attempted to spin the secrecy by claiming, “Disclosure of the names of hotels where people are being sheltered could jeopardize the privacy and safety of the vulnerable people whom the City has placed there if the public and the press become aware of the circumstances of their placement and could increase the risk that they will be subject to discrimination or harassment on the basis of their health status or status as an unsheltered person.”

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Isn’t that guy Chelsea Boutin (whatever the fuck’s his name) a flat out commie?

        None of this is surprising one bit. Vote commie, get commie prizes.

      • Rhywun

        Yes, red-diaper baby. One or both parents violent radicals IIRC.

      • Chipwooder

        Both parents participated in the 1981 armored car robbery that killed a Brinks guard and two cops.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        He was raised by Bill Ayers.

        Ta-dah!

      • EvilSheldon

        I’ve been reading a little bit about the Brinks heist – it’s very interesting if you dig on true crime. Good example of a carefully planned robbery that fell apart, due to the profound incompetence of the perpetrators.

      • pan fried wylie

        Did they outsource the plan?

      • Rhywun

        This stood out to me:

        City and hotel workers are required to sign nondisclosure agreements and are forbidden from discussing what they’re seeing. Per the Mayor’s Declaration of Emergency, speaking out can result in a fine of up to $1,000, imprisonment with a maximum sentence of one year, or both.

        I was a hotel worker when I lived there. Words fail.

      • Idle Hands

        Holy shit.

      • Jarflax

        Criminal penalties for an NDA? What the hell?

      • Not Adahn

        Like “just the tip,” “I’ll still respect you in the morning,” or “you’re soooo big?”

  14. Rebel Scum

    A collection of Seattle businesses, property owners and residents is suing the city over its tolerance of an “occupied” protest zone, saying officials have been complicit in depriving them of their rights to their property

    Tax-cattle finally have had too much I guess. It’s almost like the government is supposed to not allow this type of lawlessness.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      The ONE job of government is to protect citizens. Here they deliberately didn’t going out of their way to encourage lawlessness. There are quotes, Tweets and other public declarations by the idiot Mayor proving this. I don’t know if they can win because, you know, you can’t beat City Hall but you would think they can build a strong case citing not only legal facts but through the public admissions of leaders.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    I think NAPCAR is at Pocono this week. What are the odds there will be “Bubba Wallace, Drama Queen” -style shirts available there?

    • Rufus the Monocled

      NASCAR is WOKE now.

      It’s done.

      They’d stop the t-shirts once Bubba goes to whine to the media saying see, ‘This is noose-like!’

      • Rufus the Monocled

        ‘Make that: See, this is noose-like!’

      • bacon-magic

        Make that: ‘See, this is noose-like!’

      • Bobarian LMD

        Make that: “See, this is noose-like!”

      • Jarflax

        Bubba Wallace has no nous!

  16. straffinrun

    Cuomo said visitors from states over a set infection rate will have to quarantine. As of Wednesday states over the threshold included Alabama, Arkansas, Arizona, Florida, North Carolina, South Carolina, Washington, Utah and Texas.

    So, basically Trump’s Muslim ban but with a replacement of religions.

    • Sensei

      Actually not a bad analogy.

  17. Rufus the Monocled

    Re businesses and people suing Seattle: The Mayor and media are gonna spin the narrative to make sure they’re the bad guys.

    I hope the portion of Seattle moderate citizens who vote for the Spazz party (that’s my new name for the DNC) or with someone with a ‘D’ next to their name just vote Republican moving forward because the Dems aren’t going moderate anytime soon it looks like.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Before this is over, some politicians are going to catch a bullet from a pissed-off constituent. They are ruining lives and businesses so they can play to the mob and the national leftist audience.

      • Idle Hands

        It’s honestly surprising to me people have been this restrained so far.

  18. Rufus the Monocled

    The balls on Cummo. Little prick has death on his hands and he pulls that shit?

    • AlmightyJB

      The Left has no shame. They can be doing something while simultaneously telling you that if you do it, it’s evil. The media somehow finds away to spin everything to make it look like they’re the good guys, instead of the authoritarian ASSHOLES that they are.

      • Mad Scientist

        It’s not just the left. How many authoritarians from The Right have voted against gay rights and then been caught with their pants down, for example?

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Now those are tragic incidences that deserve actual national attention. Crazy.

      Is there money in that? Nope. No white people involved.

  19. Rufus the Monocled

    Re Gen X. Every time I read a generational poll, I notice Gen X tend to pull slightly left these days.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Social conformity. Gen X was never particularly different in this regard. How else can you explain all the dirty flannel shirts during the 90s?

      • Sean

        Cuz flannel is awesome.

      • UnCivilServant

        No, it isn’t. It’s got only downsides.

      • Not Adahn

        Someone recommended flannel sheets to me. Obviously a woman, because no man would recommend getting pillowcases made out of velcro.

      • Endless Mike

        So does peeing standing up, but it it’s what men DO.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        I blame Red Green.

    • UnCivilServant

      I have a hard time believing polls. We’ve gone over the shortcomings many times.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    The Bloomberg wind-up monkeys are beating the shit out of the “Massive SPIKE in Virus Cases!” tin drum.

    There are so many dead bodies on the streets of Houston they’re clearing them with front end loaders and dump trucks.
    We’ll all be dead by Labor Day.

    • sloopyinca

      As much rain as we’re getting here, they don’t even need to use the loaders. They can just let them float into the bay.

    • WTF

      The massive increase in known number of cases due to more extensive testing, combined with the continued low death count is good news, because it means the Infection Fatality Rate is much lower than previously assumed.

      • UnCivilServant

        “WE have More Cases than Ever! SHUTDOWN EVERYTHING!!!!!”

        /Governors.

      • DEG

        I saw someone point this out on the NH subreddit and drawing a comparison with the flu’s fatality rate.

        One of the responses was, “You’re dismissing 122,000 deaths. This is psycopath math”. I think the person writing that response was serious.

  21. straffinrun

    If the world is just a figment of my imagination, I turned into a total asshole in 2020.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      No no… I’m the asshole. You just symbolize my Asian fetish.

      • straffinrun

        That’s the ending of Fright Crub.

      • sloopyinca

        I see in the Fright Crub the strongest and smartest men who ever rivved. … We are middle chirren of hissory. No purpose and-a no praaace.

    • Breet Pharara

      Nah, you’re just a repressed masochist. Go hire a dominatrix to kick you in the balls and the world will fix itself.

    • Pat

      The world is a simulation and Neil Druckmann is apparently the lead dev.

      • UnCivilServant

        He’s not a dev, let alone a lead, he’s a poorly coded miniboss.

        Why aren’t you out there exploiting his glitches for massive damage?

      • Pat

        I literally never heard of him or Naughty Dog until the shitfest with TLOU2.

        Needless trivia: there was a professional paintball team from the northwest called Naughty Dogs back in the early aughts. I’m relatively certain they are completely unrelated.

      • straffinrun

        The age old dilemma: Do I google the name and make witty comment or do I press the button marked “Do you want to know more?”

    • AlmightyJB

      There’s a Blue Screen in the Matrix

  22. Tundra

    Good morning, Sloopy!

    I hadn’t heard anything about the Powderhorn Park encampment, but I’m not surprised. I think it may be time to just wall the fucking city up and call it good.

    The Seattle story maintains a really tiresome cliche:

    The plaintiffs — including a tattoo parlor, auto repair shop and property management firm — emphasized in the lawsuit that they were not trying to undermine the anti-police-brutality or Black Lives Matter messaging of the “Capitol Hill Occupied Protest.”

    Oh shut the fuck up. The overwhelming majority of people are opposed to police brutality and very much believe every individual black life matters. But seriously, leave your fucking virtue signaling at home. This is about the state (once again) fucking you in the ass. Idiots.

    Great song! I haven’t listened to those dudes in a long, long time. Good stuff, but I still prefer Superchunk.

    Have a fantastic day, y’all!

    • straffinrun

      Those business owners have Stockholm Stockholm Syndrome. They are hostages of other hostages.

      • sloopyinca

        Double Stockholm Syndrome?
        Does that mean they hate their captives again or that they’re submitting even more?

      • straffinrun

        It means they are in the bank vault with the other hostages and another hostage forces them to go down on them to kill time. Turns out, they like it.

      • sloopyinca

        That’s what I was afraid of.

        ::kicks pebble::

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Blacks in America beaten down by the Democrat plantation have SS too.

    • Mad Scientist

      The plaintiffs — including a tattoo parlor, auto repair shop and property management firm — emphasized in the lawsuit that they were not trying to undermine the anti-police-brutality or Black Lives Matter messaging of the “Capitol Hill Occupied Protest.”

      All their stuff is being held hostage inside the zone. They’d be morons to not go to great lengths to tell the hostage takers they believe in their cause. Anything else guarantees the place will be burned out when they get it back.

  23. bacon-magic

    A theme for Gen X. Probably. Maybe. Either way, a great song, so enjoy it.

    Nope.

    • Festus' Mustache

      meh

  24. Festus' Mustache

    Re-upping this from the dead thread. This is one of the Queen’s Cowboys dealing with a distraught nursing student. Note how she drags the person face-first along the corridor in handcuffs. Human shoulders are not meant to stretch that way. Also note the boot to the face and apparent abusive language about 2/3rds of the way in. I dealt with very violent people as “Social Worker” and that shit is far beyond the pale. This is what it has come to? Fuck you Mountie! https://youtu.be/KqmzqjibncY

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Ow

    • straffinrun

      Just can’t watch anymore online violence, Festus. My limit of virtual insanity died with Jamiroquoi.

      • Festus' Mustache

        Mine died the other morning with Shriekback… In all seriousness, I’m appalled.

    • Festus' Mustache

      The Karen even pulled her hair. I feel a little “cryey” now. Fuck.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Women cops can be the worst.

      Saw that yesterday. Pretty disgusting. What is UNACCEPTABLE is once the suspect is contained is kicking or stepping on them.

      • pan fried wylie

        Unacceptable? Was that wrong, should I have not done that, ’cause I tell ya, I gotta claim ignorance on this one. How could I have possibly known? Basic human decency, recent events? No guidance whatsoever, I mean NOBODY TOLD ME IT WASNT COOL TO ABUSE PEOPLE, EVER, EVEREVER!

  25. The Late P Brooks

    City and hotel workers are required to sign nondisclosure agreements and are forbidden from discussing what they’re seeing. Per the Mayor’s Declaration of Emergency, speaking out can result in a fine of up to $1,000, imprisonment with a maximum sentence of one year, or both.

    I thought blowing the whistle on government malfeasance was the most noblest thing a person could do.

  26. Rebel Scum

    Cultural canceling continues apace.

    Streaming service Hulu has deleted three episodes of the long running medical comedy show Scrubs, because they contain characters dressed in blackface.

    The now deleted episodes include Season 3’s “My Friend the Doctor,” and Season 5 episodes “My Jiggly Ball” and “My Chopped Liver.” The episodes featured actors Zach Braff, Donald Faison, (who is black) and Sarah Chalke donning blackface for segments of the show. The service removed the episodes at the behest the series producers, ABC Studios, according to The Wrap.

    It’s not “blackface”…

    • Q Continuum

      How can a black guy wear black face?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Obama tries every once in a while.

    • Sean

      Fuck cancel culture.

    • Rhywun

      Next up: Star Trek TNG.

      • robc

        Also TOS: Let This Be Their Final Battlefield.

        Which is worse, 1/2 blackface left, or 1/2 blackface right?

      • robc

        correction: Let That Be Your Final Battlefield

      • Gustave Lytton

        And the brownface Klingons in TOS.

      • Endless Mike

        It’s never ok for a human to dress in ridge-brow.

      • BakedPenguin

        I’ve already cut out ‘Alexander’ episodes from ST:TNG.

        Not because of blackface, though. Seriously, why did they write kid characters to be as annoying as f**k on that show?

      • Not Adahn

        still better than acting ensign wokeman.

      • Rhywun

        Picard was right about children on starships.

      • I'm Here To Help

        I had a friend back in high school that was one of the last three considered for that role. He was upset for a while, but got over it when he got an internship with the Playboy photography department the summer before he went to college…

      • pan fried wylie

        The annoying as fuck kids are a reflection of the annoying as fuck parenting taking hold at the time. “…set out a contract where you and Alexander both understand your responsibilities blah blah blah…”

        It was already too late 30yrs ago.

      • pan fried wylie

        *at the time in meatspace, not the 24th century.

      • Mad Scientist

        It wasn’t just kids. Every character was annoying as fuck on that show.

      • Not Adahn

        Still would have banged Gates McFadden like there was no tomorrow. And the Irish chick from “up the Long Ladder.”

      • BakedPenguin
    • Desk Jockey

      Three months ago I showed my girlfriend that show, I hadn’t seen it in years. Got 3 episodes in and said no way they could make this show now. Glad I have the DVDs

    • Pat

      I would be interested in discussing horticulture with #9

      Is #42 lobster girl?

      • Q Continuum

        “Is #42 lobster girl?”

        She does kind of look like her.

    • DEG

      #32 is Aussie porn star Angela White.

      Excellent gallery.

  27. The Late P Brooks

    And now, a word from the rotting zombie corpse of Gawker Media

    While it remains to be seen what type of climate solutions Amazon will throw its weight behind with the fund, the company has already made it pretty clear it does not grasp that this is not a technocratic problem. The real issue isn’t that we’re waiting for some “visionary” company or “products or services” that will magically solve the climate crisis. We could go about doing it with the technology available to us today!

    No, the real issue is that we have a severely constrained political system captured by the billionaire class and fossil fuel industry that refuses to throw the weight of the government. It’s that companies like Amazon are allowed to pollute with impunity and accumulate unfathomable sums of money while doing so.

    That concentration of wealth has helped fuel the fabulously carbon-intensive lifestyles of Amazon’s CEO, shareholders, and the otherwise rich, plutocratic, and famous while simultaneously putting poor people more at-risk of losing everything to climate disasters and exposure to toxic pollution. In other words, climate change and inequality are inextricably linked and any efforts to combat one that doesn’t include a focus on the other will only perpetuate a broken system.

    Kkkapitalism, man. It’s the worst. Tear it all down. Kill the rich.

    • Rhywun

      Now do China, India, Pakistan and the like. Amazon probably throws more money at “climate” hooey in a day than those countries do in a year.

  28. LJW

    Out of curiosity what ridiculous policies are you all seeing stores implement to “prevent” the spread of COVID. So far the two biggest head scratchers I’ve seen are:

    Target stores with two entrances are closing down one entrance and forcing everyone to enter and exit through one.

    Quick Trip and Casey’s not allowing you to refill drinks.

    • Nephilium

      The one way aisles in the grocery stores, with one door marked entrance only, and the other marked exit only. But you have to go through a common vestibule to go out either door.

      Mandating masks inside bars/restaurants if you’re not currently eating/drinking.

      Forbidding eating or drinking while standing in a bar/restaurant.

    • Mojeaux

      Target stores with two entrances are closing down one entrance and forcing everyone to enter and exit through one.

      WM did that from the beginning and is still doing it. HyVee stopped doing it a while back.

      My kid has to wear a face mask her whole shift.

      • I'm Here To Help

        From what I understand they did that to keep track of the number of people coming in and going out, so they wouldn’t exceed the 25%/50% occupancy rules.

    • Sean

      State liquor stores did not reprogram their CC terminals to be no touch. So, you still have to press keys and they put a piece of saran wrap over the keys as a “prophylactic”. But your still touching it…

      • Sean

        *you’re

      • UnCivilServant

        It’;;s easier to swap out the saran wrap than to clean those buttons.

        But it’s all theater anyway.

    • l0b0t

      My supermarket employer is not accepting ANY returns for any reasons. NO refunds or exchanges allowed.

      • pan fried wylie

        Who returns groceries?

      • pan fried wylie

        Sorry, just realized this is my privilege showing. When I find I bought a yogurt with a hole in it, I just toss it, I don’t save it for the next trip to the store to recoup that dollar.

      • l0b0t

        Wifey bought a “family pack” of chicken breasts last week. Upon opening them, the very day of purchase, we were rendered insensate by the reek of ammonia coming from the spoiled chicken. Thanks to the new policy, we were out $15. I’m pretty sure that violates state law.

      • pan fried wylie

        As a single-person, I wasn’t considering that sort of purchasing. How’d you make it home with that, though? Was the date on the package wrong?

      • l0b0t

        We like to spend a day every month or so making breaded cutlets, so as to always have some at the ready in the freezer. The package was sealed, with no bulging, and the ‘packed on’ date was the day before purchase. I’ve also returned cases of soda when more than one can is defective. Oh, and I’ve sometimes bought the wrong flavor or style of something and just want to do a simple exchange.

  29. Semi-Spartan Dad

    WSJ goes full SJW…

    Full Headline: Bubba Wallace, a Noose, and How a Racist Symbol Hung at Talladega for Months
    The FBI concluded it was not a hate crime specifically targeting Nascar’s lone black driver. But it was still a noose that hung unaddressed in racing’s workplace. /End Headline
    https://www.wsj.com/articles/bubba-wallace-a-noose-and-how-a-racist-symbol-hung-at-talladega-for-months-11593082800

    Saying it wasn’t a noose requires believing that a Nascar crew member, Nascar crew chief, Nascar security team and Nascar president all didn’t recognize the rope as a mere garage door pull before contacting the FBI. But calling it one also means accepting that countless crew members and others who passed it by didn’t take action last year when they encountered it.

    Racism experts say nooses, even when they’re purportedly tied to serve another purpose, are still racist symbols of intimidation to African-Americans who encounter them. They also don’t believe that the definition of whether a noose is a hate crime should rest on whether it’s directed at a particular target, because of its ramifications.

    • Chipwooder

      “Racism experts”

      • Rhywun

        LOL

    • Tundra

      The Journal bounces back and forth between brilliant and cringeworthy. They must be getting whiplash over there.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Is that one of their guest opinions?

        If so, I can appreciate the fact that they published it without s disclaimer and groveling for forgiveness afterwards a la the NYT.

      • Tundra

        Nope. Staff writers.

        Oh, and no comment section!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Well shit. And I was just considering getting a subscription.

      • Rhywun

        Maybe they have the same situation as the NY Post – their staff writers are increasingly millennial progs while the opinion page is written by the old guard.

      • Chipwooder

        This is what happened to the Richmond Times-Dispatch. Eventually the editorial page staff got old and retired/died and now the paper is exactly like every other lefty rag.

      • dbleagle

        There is no way that the knot is a common fishing knot. It is well known that NASCAR crews would never ever fish for bass etc.

        https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bimini_twist

        See the how to tie illustration. The knot makes a non slipping loop in a rope.

    • Pat

      Racism experts say nooses, even when they’re purportedly tied to serve another purpose, are still racist symbols of intimidation to African-Americans who encounter them. They also don’t believe that the definition of whether a noose is a hate crime should rest on whether it’s directed at a particular target, because of its ramifications.

      That’s strange. I am a certified Racism Expert and I think literally everything contained in this paragraph is utter and complete bullshit. Where does that leave us?

    • straffinrun

      By this standard, every noose ever used was a hate crime.

    • mrfamous

      “Racism experts say nooses, even when they’re purportedly tied to serve another purpose, are still racist symbols of intimidation to African-Americans who encounter them. They also don’t believe that the definition of whether a noose is a hate crime should rest on whether it’s directed at a particular target, because of its ramifications.”

      The experts then put a bowl of jello on their heads and exclaimed, “I’m the Queen of England!”

      Knots have apparently become problematic.

      • UnCivilServant

        Anyone who claims to be a “Racism Expert” is a racist who should be shunned.

    • R C Dean

      Saying it wasn’t a noose requires believing that a Nascar crew member, Nascar crew chief, Nascar security team and Nascar president all didn’t recognize the rope as a mere garage door pull before contacting the FBI.

      No, it doesn’t. That would completely implausible, but there is an alternative explanation, which is that they damn well knew it was completely innocuous, but decided to ramp up their woke cred by ginning up a controversy out of nothing so they could posture, preen, and signal even harder.

      When you start off with a dishonest assumption, that there is only one explanation for something, everything that follows is fallacious, at best.

      Do better, WSJ.

  30. Scruffy Nerfherder

    If it doesn’t constrict under tension, it’s not a noose, it’s just a loop knot.

    I guess we’re going to have to ban sailing because racism.

    • Chipwooder

      And fishing

    • bacon-magic

      I sell rope. *waits for it*

      • Not Adahn

        “Greetings comrade capitalist! I would like to buy some rope!”

    • pan fried wylie

      All the knot tying in sailing, really, that’s your problem with it? Ummm, how’d the slaves get here in the first place, Mr Smaht Gai? Also, only white people own sailboats.

      CANCEL. THAT. SHIZ.

  31. Rebel Scum

    Black on black violence.

    Ghanaian President Akufo-Addo called Nigerian President Muhammadu Buhari on Tuesday to apologize for the unceremonious demolition of the country’s embassy in Accra by a local businessman claiming to own the land.

    • Juvenile Bluster

      I’m against the death penalty except for government officials who espouse blatantly unconstitutional bills.

      I realize that would result in the deaths of nearly every elected official. Feature, not bug.

      • Juvenile Bluster

        “Our legislation respects and protects the privacy rights of law-abiding Americans,” said Graham, the Judiciary Committee chairman. “It also puts the terrorists and criminals on notice that they will no longer be able to hide behind technology to cover their tracks.”

        In other words, “If you haven’t done anything wrong, you don’t have anything to worry about”.

        This seriously pisses me off.

      • Rhywun

        There is zero chance that business interests will go along with this. I’m not worried.

      • Plisade

        “We’re going to pass this law that violates your right to privacy. If you follow this law, we respect you. Therefore, this law respects your right to privacy.”

      • Overt

        There is no logical world where Terrorists and Criminals use this hacked encryption technology rather than the strong encryption that will continue to be developed and used by every other foreign actor on the planet. The only people who will use this flawed encryption are the people who are following this US law- AKA US citizens. This law can not logically be anything but a tool for spying on american citizens.

    • Tundra

      The bill — from Lindsey Graham (South Carolina), Tom Cotton (Arkansas) and Marsha Blackburn (Tennessee)…

      But of course.

      The slobbering over Cotton is baffling to me. He is a straight up totalitarian wrapped in a Chinese knock-off Gadsden flag.

      Pathetic.

    • Pat

      To be fair, every commercial messaging service with encryption is backdoored all to fuck anyway. This just makes it so they can use those backdoors in civil and domestic criminal prosecutions without revealing NSA methods in court.

      • kbolino

        They’re backdoored in a social sense, in that the encryption is not end-to-end but only between each participant and the server they connect to. It’s not clear to me that the bill in question is making technical backdoors a requirement, but it’s also setting up a bunch of perverse incentives that our adversaries can and will exploit.

    • robc

      “Fuck all you guys, go home.”

  32. Juvenile Bluster

    You remember a few years back, when a cop in Miami tried to shoot an autistic man holding a toy and ended up hitting the man’s caregiver?

    Apparently the punishment was (dead serious) he had to write a 2500 word essay on why what he did was wrong. That’s like the punishment I got for skipping school on senior skip day in High School. And he couldn’t even show contrition in the essay.

    https://www.miaminewtimes.com/news/essay-by-north-miami-officer-jonathon-aledda-after-shooting-charles-kinsey-11657717

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Just shoot him in the leg and agree to write an essay about it.

      • Juvenile Bluster

        I’m sure I’d get the same punishment.

    • Viking1865

      I think this one is out of my “top 5 worst” for dumb cop shit, but its in the top 10 for sure just because its such a bizarre thought process by the cop.

  33. sloopyinca

    Soccer fans: which goal yesterday was more impressive? I’m opting for Fabinho’s. But Alexander-Arnold’s was damn good too.

    They were clicking on all cylinders. Too bad they were sleepwalking against their hapless neighbors on Sunday. A 4-0 thrashing then would have felt even better to have watched.

    • Juvenile Bluster

      TAA’s was good. Fab’s was incredible.

      I’ve been a Liverpool supporter for about 25 years, so this is the first title I get to witness. I can’t decide whether I’d rather Chelsea get a result against City today (so there’s a guard of honor at City next game) or for City to win and LFC beat them to secure the title.

      • Rhywun

        I’m cynical enough to prefer that Liverpool not have to play a consequential game against Man City *spit*.

    • robc

      Home draw vs first place, road win vs last place. Both dreadful games, but I will take it. Everton is hanging into the “we can still make a run at 7th” race.

      • robc

        Then again, with the tight schedule and COVID stuff, do you want to win a Euro spot this year?

      • sloopyinca

        You know what? If I had to watch Everton make it to the Europa League in exchange for watching Arsenal finish 12th or worse, I’d probably take it.
        Both are entirely possible.

      • Rhywun

        Heh, truth.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Ugh, Liverpool.

      But the answer is Fabinho.

      You didn’t ask, but Firmino still has the most punch-able face in soccer.

      • Rhywun

        David Luiz says “hi”.

      • Juvenile Bluster

        Why the fuck did Arsenal sign him to an extension? They’re better off playing with 10 men than they are with Luiz in the team.

        But the answer for most punchable face remains Phil Jones.

      • Rhywun

        I don’t know who that is, but I don’t watch ManUre.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’ve seen more punchable people.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Ha, same reasoning as David Luiz, but I have enjoyed the many mistakes of Phil Jones.

      • Rhywun

        I dunno. He just looks like “random white guy” to me.

        Harry Kane is spot-on, though.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Why would I want to punch David Luiz, he has been a gift.

      • sloopyinca

        Firmino is my favorite Liverpool player, although TAA is rapidly catching him.
        Firmino never complains about his role, is generally unselfish, and it seems like everybody in the locker room loves him.

        As for punchable faces, I take it you’ve never seen Marouane Fellaini or the slack-jawed Harry Kane?

      • Juvenile Bluster

        Everton/ManU Fellaini had the most punchable face in human history.

      • Rhywun

        Marouane Fellaini

        THANK YOU. That was the name I was grasping for but came up with Luiz instead.

      • Rhywun

        OMG my eyes!

      • sloopyinca

        There’s even a bonus pic in that article where Fellaini makes that potato-headed Wayne Rooney look handsome. Which I didn’t even know was possible.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Don’t you dare with Harry Kane.

        Firmino has a stupid neck tattoo, super white teeth, and that oh so punch-able smile.

      • sloopyinca

        Winners smile.

        I guess that’s why Harry Kane always has a blank expression.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Ouch.

      • sloopyinca

        ??‍♂️ I calls em as I sees em.

  34. Rebel Scum

    GOA Alleges VA State Police Running Illegal Background Checks

    Apparently realizing that S.B. 715’s private background checks could not be implemented under federal law, the administration of Virginia’s anti-gun Democrat Governor and Attorney General began to scheme with the FBI, under its anti-gun Director James Comey, to find a way to end-run the federal prohibition on NICS checks for private sales. From November 2015 to January of 2016, the VSP and the FBI exchanged a series of emails, which were recently obtained by Gun Owners of America through a state records request.

    In those nonpublic emails, the FBI advised Virginia that it could not approve use of the NICS System for a private “voluntary background check,” but if VSP would instead agree to call the background check a “permit” system for the buyer — which it’s clearly not — then the FBI could approve VSP’s use of the NICS System under the federal exception for NICS checks for “issuance of a firearm-related … permit or license.” 28 C.F.R. § 25.6(j)(1).

    Of course, S.B. 715 neither establishes nor requires a “permit” or a “license” to conduct a sale between private parties, but those are “just words.” Getting cutesy with the English language, the McAuliffe administration drafted an Executive Order to create — out of thin air — a “special permit” to run a “voluntary background check.” Tada! Problem solved?

    VSP asked the FBI if the draft Executive Order and the proposed “special permit program” would qualify for the federal exemption. On January 4, 2016, the FBI replied that such a “permit” system would qualify, but that “Virginia … will have to determine whether its law allows the establishment of a firearms-related permit by Executive Order.”

    • sloopyinca

      Well that’s a bunch of bullshit.

      I swear, I will never set foot in Virginia again unless it’s for a funeral or to see my accountant. Fuck that place. Fuck it right in its festering, boil-covered asshole.

    • Viking1865

      Man I’m sure glad we replaced dirty Bob McDonell with a paragon of righteous integrity like Terry McAuliffe.

  35. The Late P Brooks

    Racism experts say nooses, even when they’re purportedly tied to serve another purpose, are still racist symbols of intimidation to African-Americans who encounter them.

    Dear “Racism Expert”

    Sometimes a knot in a rope is just a knot in a rope.

    You’re welcome.

    • Rebel Scum

      I guess black seamen can’t learn how to tie knots. Hell, they can’t be on the ship because others will have to tie the knots, making the knots present and, therefore, a threat to black and brown bodies*.

      Terminology that I still find troubling because, to me, it seems rather dehumanizing. But I guess I can’t expect any different from collectivists, who think we are all pawns in the system.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        I think “black bodies” first dates back to Strange Fruit (written by a Jewish man). That’s my best OED guess anyway.

    • Festus' Mustache

      All of these comic actors and producers need to take ten steps back. They are barking up the wrong tree if they expect validation from the foam-mouthed Mob. Shut up and stop licking up to the bullies. Pendulum swings like a pendulum do.

    • R C Dean

      This demonstrates the reversal of what counts as racism. It used to require (subjective) belief on the part of the actor that another race is inferior. Now it just requires (subjective) belief on the part of anyone at all that the actor had racist intent.

      • Rhywun

        I think we’ve dispensed with “intent” entirely in the last couple months.

      • R C Dean

        I don’t think we have. Its still essential to wokeness, which now has the power to ascribe to you racist intent, whether you were aware of it or not. That is what their original sin of whiteness is all about.

      • Rhywun

        Well, I am assuming “intent” requires knowledge. How can I intend to do something without knowing it? That would be crazy!

  36. Q Continuum

    Every generation thinks they invented sex.

    https://www.insidehook.com/article/sex-and-dating/end-of-daddy-culture

    Lemme tell ya something sweetheart: men are biologically programmed to want to fuck younger women because of fertility and women are biologically programmed to want to fuck older men because of resources. Millennials did not invent some cute social media “sex culture” around it.

    • Festus' Mustache

      I get checked out all the time (not a boast). If you are well enough put together and don’t present too shabbily younger women will notice you. Of course they don’t know that I’m basically a pauper but it’s a fun game to play.

    • Pat

      Every generation thinks they invented sex.

      The only thing that makes this generation a bit more unique, I think, is that because of the LGBTQWERTY bullshit, everybody thinks they need to make their sexual preferences into an identity and a substitute for a personality. Young women have been fucking older men since time immemorial, it’s just that nobody except jealous older harpies ever gave a shit, so it wasn’t a major part of the way you identified yourself to the world.

  37. Gender Traitor

    Re: voice actors for cartoons – the characters of Linda and Tina on Bob’s Burgers are voiced by men, and Bart Simpson is voiced by a woman. I’d say there are greater differences between the sexes than between races. Who cares about anything but the sound of the voice and the quality of the acting?

    • straffinrun

      The voice of Crayon Shinchan (6 year old boy) is a woman. Everybody loves it, so who cares? I’ve done voice work for many different characters of the years, but I’m not great at it (good, not great). Some people are just amazing at that and if you don’t tip your hat at their art, you’re a petty human.

      • UnCivilServant

        *notcommittal gruff japanese grunt*

      • straffinrun

        You should hear my “Iiiiiiyada!” It’s not convincing and that’s the point.

      • UnCivilServant

        I never could figure out what that means.

      • Sensei

        That phrase is a refusal or something that you don’t want to do or something unpleasant.

        It can be quite childlike – so imagine here in the us pitching a fit and screaming, “Noooooooo….” while crying.

      • UnCivilServant

        Maybe I’m mixing it up with a different word/phrase that gets shouted a lot during fight scenes.

      • straffinrun

        LOL. If someone shouted that during a fight scene…

        It basically means, “Oh no, don’t do that” as she coyly fondles herself.

      • UnCivilServant

        Look, I don’t know the language, and am working from a transliteration rather than the sound.

      • straffinrun

        Wasn’t laughing at you. The image of a Samurai yelling “Oh no! Please stop!” was funny to me.

      • Juvenile Bluster

        A bunch of male characters in anime (and nearly all male child characters) are voiced by women.

      • UnCivilServant

        Some of whom have ear-rapingly painful voices.

        There are good actors, and then there are those which make me wonder if everyone on the production crew is deaf.

      • Sensei

        You’ve spoken to my wife?

        (Since I try to practice my Japanese, I tend to listen closely enough that I can actually name the voice actress for many characters.)

      • pan fried wylie

        Same thing with hold music. Some of it seems chosen for the level of pain it’s capable of transmitting through a phone system. Flutes sound fine at MP3 quality, over the phone they turn into an eardrill. So I have to assume whoever OK’d that music for their phone system is deaf or Satan.

    • Festus' Mustache

      Huh. Don’t care a whit. Dance, Monkey!

    • Mojeaux

      the characters of Linda and Tina on Bob’s Burgers are voiced by men

      That’s one reason I can’t stand that show; their voices, as UCS says below, are ear-rapingly grating.

      • Rhywun

        I can’t even.

        OTOH I can’t stand Rick and Morty for the same reason so I should shut up now.

      • pan fried wylie

        I love Rick and Morty, but yeah, Morty’s voice takes some endurance.

    • Idle Hands

      See we keep making the mistake of treating these zealots logically they aren’t serious people. They are wielding this power because it makes them feel powerful. There are no rules, no underlying logic, just the preponderance of the raw unadulterated drug of making people bend the knee and repent. Giving them any benefit of the doubt plants the seed that they may have some kind of honest argument they don’t. They mean to destroy you and take everything you have for themselves and their immediate allies and this won’t cease till that happens.

      • See Double You

        THIS^^^^^^^

  38. Pat

    Google will pay publishers for ‘high-quality’ news and absorb paywall costs

    Google has announced that it will start paying publishers to license “high-quality” content in an upcoming initiative it’s describing as a “news experience.” It said the service is part of an initiative to better support publishers and no doubt an effort to fend off criticism that it’s harming news sites. It could also confirm rumors from earlier this year that Google planned to launch a news service much like Apple News+.

    So far, Google has signed publishers in Australia, Germany and Brazil. “This program will help participating publishers monetize their content through an enhanced storytelling experience that lets people go deeper into more complex stories, stay informed and be exposed to a world of different issues and interests,” Google VP Brad Bender wrote in a blog post.

    Definitely not a publisher.

    • Juvenile Bluster

      Alright. I’m going to explain this again.

      There is no “platform versus publisher” in Section 230, in that a website is not automatically one or the other.

      A website is a publisher for things it publishes itself. For example, the posted links and commentary thereto? Under Section 230, Glibs is a publisher for that content.
      A website is a platform for things others publish. For example, for purposes of this comment I’m writing, Glibs is a platform.

      Moderation, even biased moderation, does not change that.

      • Pat

        I was referring to Google’s bullshit pretense over the last 20 years that they are or aren’t a publisher depending on whose intellectual property they are pilfering and which court in which they are blowing smoke.

      • kbolino

        There has always been a bit of “why can’t they both lose” there. The content producers want to be searchable. They also want you to pay for their content. So they’ve played games with how Google sees their pages vs. how the person who clicks on the link in Google sees their pages. “Google stole my IP” is a bit of a ridiculous claim when you can throw a robots.txt on your page and completely disappear from Google. But then your page won’t be searchable so you are going to get far fewer hits.

      • R C Dean

        JB is right. I double-checked Section 230, and had to adjust my thinking on it.

        No provider or user of an interactive computer service shall be treated as the publisher or speaker of any information provided by another information content provider.

        What Section 230 doesn’t do, is address something that I think is new since it was written: the ability of platforms to suppress or promote content. How this fits with this section is not clear to me:

        No provider or user of an interactive computer service shall be held liable on account of—
        (A)any action voluntarily taken in good faith to restrict access to or availability of material that the provider or user considers to be obscene, lewd, lascivious, filthy, excessively violent, harassing, or otherwise objectionable, whether or not such material is constitutionally protected; or

        It doesn’t “restrict” access or availability, and whether it is “good faith” to restrict or suppress political views you disagree with as “otherwise objectionable” is, well, controversial. So demonetizing, depromoting, etc. are in a gray area, I think.

  39. PieInTheSky

    the chicom cold cases are increasing 🙁 . I hope no new quarantine is coming

    • Rhywun

      Pro-tip: a new quarantine is coming.

      • Sean

        “They” want it, but it ain’t gonna happen.

        Sadly, I think masks are going to be around for a bit.

    • Juvenile Bluster

      I didn’t know that until very recently. But it’s surprising and pretty damn cool.

    • bacon-magic

      Rebelling against your parents is nothing new.

      • Idle Hands

        true. It’s probably especially easy when said parent is Yoko Ono.

    • mrfamous

      I never imagined

    • Apples and Knives

      I’ll be damned. Actually takes some balls to be speak out against the mob these days. Good for him.

    • BakedPenguin

      Good deal for you. According to the website you linked, that’s about a 50% discount.

  40. Apples and Knives

    So my school district sent out a survey yesterday, asking people if they would like the in-school or virtual learning options in the fall (both will be available, and they’re trying to get a headcount). People are freaking out about not having enough time to decide, but from what I can tell, most people with the means are planning on doing remote. What’s hilarious about all this is that last fall people were freaking out about the school district redistricting to make more geographical sense. Essentially saying it was tantamount to resegregating the community. Fast forward 12 months and all the same white liberals crying about it will be the ones actually doing the segregating.

    For the record, I couldn’t press the “in-school” option fast enough.

    • sloopyinca

      I’d be answering that question with: how much of my property taxes will I get back if I do remote learning?

    • Juvenile Bluster

      We got an e-mail yesterday saying we’d get a similar survey in mid-July. Sounds like the options are going to be “at least” 50/50 in school and home (or maybe 100% in school) while allowing parents who want to let their kids stay home, stay home.

      I’m absolutely sending her back to school. She’s starting 6th grade and is in all advanced classes. She’s a really smart kid but needs the structure.

      • Idle Hands

        I think you’re going to find everyone is going to want to send their kids back to school, since you know it’s like the only service the gov provides that most everyone comes in contact with besides police. The virtual learning is such a sham if we are going to do this we don’t need nearly as many teachers. Covid has caused everyone to lose their minds. Most all this would be resolved with the feds basically saying any covid related casualty litigation is under a moratorium while we deal with this. Also you can’t even sue someone for contracting it on their property and any lawyers that due will be disbarred/lawsuit thrown out.

      • Idle Hands

        Also most of this will be resolved when these proposed plans hit the harsh reality of the real world.

    • Idle Hands

      My local school system is floating out a plan of going 50% of student’s virtual and 50% at school splitting the week mwf and tt on an alternating basis. Needless to say they are going to be met with the harsh reality of what they are day one: glorified babysitters and their will probably be a revolt.

  41. Rebel Scum

    First, Covid, then killer bees, now this.

    At a Glance
    -An expansive plume of dust from the Sahara Desert has moved from Africa to the U.S. Gulf Coast.
    -The dust traveled 5,000 miles across the Atlantic, Caribbean and Gulf of Mexico.
    -The dust might create hazy skies in parts of the U.S. into the weekend.
    -There could also be brilliant sunrises and sunsets in some areas.
    -The dust was the thickest to move over the Puerto Rico area in years.

    • PieInTheSky

      Well sahara dust is nothing new

    • Juvenile Bluster

      This happens every single year, multiple times. I especially like it when it happens in August because it fucks with hurricanes.

      • pan fried wylie

        Cloud-seeding sapping the hurricane before it makes it to land? *adds Sahara Dust to Wikipedia tabs*

    • Rhywun

      “in years”

      OH MY GOD!!

  42. Stinky Wizzleteats

    The country’s burning and being undermined by a soft but organized coup and the DOJ is still spending effort piling the charges on Assange. Talk about mixed up priorities.

    • Viking1865

      15 FBI agents investigated the Garage Door Pull of Racism.

      • R C Dean

        And to my knowledge. not one single member of Rose City Antifa, the motherhouse of antifa, has been indicted for the federal crime of crossing state lines to riot. Which they have absolutely done going from Portland to Seattle.

        #DefundTheFBI

  43. The Late P Brooks

    Just don’t call it a subsidy

    A major US pilots union said on Wednesday it has begun discussing with key lawmakers a plan for the government to purchase seats on each flight to prevent passengers from having to sit next to strangers.

    The idea, launched by the Allied Pilots Association, representing American Airlines’ 15,000 pilots, is aimed at easing a return to pre-pandemic passenger levels while creating a level playing field across the airline industry.

    ——-

    In a statement, APA President Eric Ferguson said uniform social distancing would encourage passengers to fly more and airlines to operate more flights, thus preserving more jobs in the critical aviation industry.

    Under the plan, the price of empty seats would be based on industry average costs for 2019, and as immunity to COVID-19 rose, the number of empty seats bought by the government would fall.

    What a great idea. The government should pay the airlines to keep flying, so the pilots will have something to do.

    • Pat

      The government should pay the airlines to keep flying, so the pilots will have something to do.

      After the self same government shut down air travel in the first place, mind you. We’ve never had better examples of the classic parable of the government breaking your legs, providing you crutches, and taking credit for your ability to walk.

  44. Rebel Scum

    But you were just saying black people hardest hit…

    Despite warnings from public health officials, new research suggests Black Lives Matter protests across the country have not led to a jump in coronavirus cases.

    A new study, published this month by the National Bureau of Economic Research, used data on protests from more than 300 of the largest US cities, and found no evidence that coronavirus cases grew in the weeks following the beginning of the protests.

    In fact, researchers determined that social distancing behaviors actually went up after the protests — as people tried to avoid the protests altogether. But obviously, these demonstrations caused a decrease in social distancing among actual protesters.

    “Our findings suggest that any direct decrease in social distancing among the subset of the population participating in the protests is more than offset by increasing social distancing behavior among others who may choose to shelter-at-home and circumvent public places while the protests are underway,” the report reads.

    • Pat

      The virus only spreads at Trump rallies in the prairies. It is known.

    • Rhywun

      Farcical.

    • leon

      In fact, researchers determined that social distancing behaviors actually went up after the protests — as people tried to avoid the protests altogether.

      Rioting and looting are good because it keeps people from interacting. You can’t make this shit up.

      Also no. I really don’t believe your “research” because i know its staffed by people who made the exact opposite claim about the “anit-shutdown” protests. As far as i can see the “Spike” has not led to an increase of hospitalizations where i’m at, so it is almost completely due to increased testing.

    • kbolino

      “new research suggests”

      in less than a week will become

      “we’ve always known this and it’s been definitively proven by dozens of studies”

    • R C Dean

      new research suggests Black Lives Matter protests across the country have not led to a jump in coronavirus cases.

      So why are we still banning crowds at sporting events and other (outdoor) activities?

    • I'm Here To Help

      I’m so confused. The protests aren’t leading to an increase in cases, but more people are social distancing because of the protests? Logically, if social distancing actually worked, we should see a decline in the rate of infection because more people are social distancing (and the protesters are magically immune from spreading the disease). Otherwise, the steady/increasing rate of infection means that the protesters are spreading it more to make up for those non-protesters who are protecting themselves by isolating themselves.

  45. sloopyinca

    ::spit take::

    Yeah, that’s what definitely made it worse. It wasn’t Cuomo, et al, putting people in nursing homes, crowded subways, crowded apartment buildings, crowded elevators, or people with such low food-storage capabilities that they had to go to the store daily in big cities. It was Tucker Carlson and Sean Hannity that caused all the deaths.

    Fuck right the fuck off, you fucks.

    • Juvenile Bluster

      ..

      • Juvenile Bluster

        You used your powers to edit fairy your comment and I look silly now. DAMN YOU!

        (also, I don’t blame Tucker or Hannity for a single death, but I do blame their parents for their births and that they actually exist and that people actually listen to them.)

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Tucker’s good on war and peace at least, Hannity’s just a meathead all around.

      • PieInTheSky

        meh I am not a fan of good on X. For me Tucker’s fanbase represents the worst of both worlds.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        As a libertarian you have to pick and choose if you want to have any influence. Finding people who largely agree with you in any numbers across the board is impossible.

      • PieInTheSky

        Oh come on it is well known a dot is a placeholder. Usually for an image if from swiss, for whatever if from sloopy

      • PieInTheSky

        Eloquence such as this is why you are a writer.

      • R C Dean

        Brevity is the soul of wit, after all.

      • Idle Hands

        I honestly don’t think I’ve met anyone who admits they like Hannity even the people that watch him.

      • Idle Hands

        Frankly I’d rather watch Maddow myself and it’s not even much of a choice.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Give credit where credit is due. He was on top of the Flynn bullshit from the beginning.

        Hannity is unbearable to listen to but he at least gives airtime to people like Andrew McCarthy.

    • PieInTheSky

      Come on the suspense is killing us

      • sloopyinca

        Not as fast as the Corona was killing old people in New York nursing homes.

      • pan fried wylie

        yeah, but Net Neutrality killed people at the speed of light, beat THAT.

    • bacon-magic

      ..

    • sloopyinca

      0 of 10. Could not fap to either.

  46. The Late P Brooks

    “Our findings suggest that any direct decrease in social distancing among the subset of the population participating in the protests is more than offset by increasing social distancing behavior among others who may choose to shelter-at-home and circumvent public places while the protests are underway,” the report reads.

    We found the exact outcome we were looking for. That’s SCIENCE.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Starting with a desired conclusion and working your way backwards is how science works now. I blame the social sciences.

      • SandMan

        Yes, that’s damn depressing.

    • littleruttiger

      I f****** love science!

  47. Idle Hands

    I put it at 45-55% chance we are Maduro’s Venezuela in 6 years the way things are trending. The fucking commie’s are everywhere.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        What’s she saying (won’t play for me)?

      • Idle Hands

        She’s a Venezuelan saying that this shit is what happened their under Chavez. Chileans are piping in saying this shit has started happening there as well but the virus kind of stopped it. Chileans are blaming an influx of Venezuelans coming in and their population basically falling for this shit more and more the further they get away from Pinochet.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Doesn’t matter. She’s hot.

      • Idle Hands

        well yes this it true.

    • PieInTheSky

      So here is a question: If Venezuela with current nature infrastructure resources position etc were emptied and given to the worlds libertarian to create Libertopia, and lets say a few million (we include classical liberals and libertarian leaning conservatives to make up the numbers) would move there, how would that go in 100 years?

      • UnCivilServant

        Without diligence, you will have commie agitators ruining everything.

      • PieInTheSky

        Well you can be the minister against agitators

      • Viking1865

        If it were left alone, it would be the richest place on the planet. A Hong Kong style legal regime combined with actual natural resources, land, and a shitload of oil would be like pre socialist America in terms of its prosperity.

        It would not be left alone though.

      • Idle Hands

        The same could be said about every country no? Like even a country in Africa without internal conflict and just a single flat head tax that just funded a defense force that did nothing but protect it’s borders would probably become one of the richest countries on the planet in 25 years.

      • Don Escaped MLB

        If Russia could have found a way to believe in individual and property rights before 1776, there never would have been an American century and certainly no Third Reich rolling over Europe

      • R C Dean

        If it were left alone, it would be the richest place on the planet.

        And we’ve seen what happens to affluent societies. So, much like the US minarchy, it will be under relentless pressure to become more collectivist and authoritarian/totalitarian as people let their risk aversion and desire for “safety” run wild because the society is wealthy enough that the second-order downsides are sufficiently remote to be ignored/denied.

      • l0b0t

        This has come up on the Zoom meetings before. I’m becoming convinced that the freedoms I desire for everyone can only exist in a frontier society.

    • straffinrun

      My bet is more of Franco’s Spain. Too many guns.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        With constant battles between commies and fascists.

        Sounds about right.

      • Idle Hands

        Given what I’ve seen of the commies it would only be a short single battle.

      • Idle Hands

        Kind of see a Pinochet/Franco character in the pipe as well.

      • straffinrun

        Looks like I picked the wrong week to short sell helicopters.

  48. Certified Public Asshat

    Why it might be time to finally replace ‘The Star-Spangled Banner’ with a new national anthem

    So, if “The Star-Spangled Banner” goes the way of the Confederate flag and Gone With the Wind, what should America’s new national anthem be? Whatever it is, Walker says there should be a formal “vetting process” to make sure the next anthem doesn’t have a terrible past; Powell, for his part, suggests John Lennon’s “Imagine,” which he says is “the most beautiful, unifying, all-people, all-backgrounds-together kind of song you could have.”

    But what about “Lift Every Voice and Sing”? That song, written as a poem by James Weldon Johnson in 1900, set to music by his brother J. Rosamond Johnson in 1905, and first publicly performed as part of a celebration of Abraham Lincoln’s birthday by Johnson’s brother John, was dubbed “the Negro national hymn” by the NAACP in 1919. In more recent years, it has been referenced in Maya Angelou’s 1969 autobiography I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings and Spike Lee’s 1989 film Do the Right Thing; it was also performed in 1972 by Kim Weston as the opening number for the Wattstax festival and by Beyoncé during her celebrated 2018 Coachella set.

    What we need is a national anthem written by a British guy.

      • Hyperion

        Sounds woke enough.

    • Juvenile Bluster

      Go with America the Beautiful. It’s neutral and better than the Star Spangled Banner anyways.

      • UnCivilServant

        What’s wrong with a poem about ‘splosions and sieges set to the tune of a drinking song?

      • Idle Hands

        We already have Toby Kieth in nearly every bar playlist you monster.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Too many God references I would assume.

    • Hyperion

      No counties. Hmm, what a great ‘national’ anthem. Also, no religion, that might piss off a lot of people, just saying.

    • leon

      John Lennon’s “Imagine,” which he says is “the most beautiful, unifying, all-people, all-backgrounds-together kind of song you could have.”

      We should make the commie song our national anthem, says commies who hate America.

      • Hyperion

        Pretty much sums it up.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        “Imagine there’s no countries USA”

        What a national anthem that would be.

      • Fatty Bolger

        ^ This

    • Not Adahn

      John Lennon’s “Imagine,” which he says is “the most beautiful, unifying, all-people, all-backgrounds-together kind of song you could have.”

      Other than the fact that most people identify as non-atheists, you mean.

      • UnCivilServant

        “Imagine” makes me want to murder people – especially obnoxious musicians and commies.

    • Hyperion

      If we had to change it, I’d go with this:

      Murika, Fuck Yeah!

      But since there’s no need to do so…

    • Rhywun

      Powell, for his part, suggests John Lennon’s “Imagine,”

      Outright, prolonged laughter.

    • Don Escaped MLB

      There was a big high wall there that tried to stop me;
      Sign was painted, it said private property;
      But on the back side it didn’t say nothing;
      This land was made for you and me.

      Maybe it was a successful kibbutz, Woody, and they didn’t want no dirty, lazy hobos coming ’round?

    • Drake

      Imagine is the stupidest song ever written.

      I can get behind making Metallica’s Don’t Tread on Me the anthem, not some hippy commie shit.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Master of Puppets would be more appropriate if you insist on Metallica. And John Lennon admitted to thumping his girlfriend around when he was younger and she got “out of line.” Seems like he’d be problematic.

      • Drake

        He sounds like a problem-solver!

      • Not Adahn

        If murdering your GF and leaving her corpse stuffed in a suitcase is NBD for lefties, I don’t see why a little attitude adjustment should matter.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        *Hand held over heart, sings “Chop your breakfast on a mirror”*

    • KSuellington

      Imagine people are not actually people, it’s easy if you try.

      Damn, I cannot fucking stand that piece of shit song.

      The only change of national anthem that I’d support:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5BL4RNFr58

      • Tejicano

        “I got’s to have my guns!”

    • EvilSheldon

      If we have to have a national anthem written by a Marxist scumbag, might I suggest Copperhead Road?

    • Mad Scientist

      I’d vote for Route 66 to be the new anthem.

    • B.P.

      “In an increasingly antiracist era when problematic iconography…”

      These are the first few words of that article, and it goes on in that vein forever. How do these idiots have jobs?

  49. Hyperion

    “Ask and ye shall receive.” Oh, you didn’t want this?”

    And now, Murika has the richest homeless people on the planet. Look at all those nice tents and other nice gear. Remember when they lived in cardboard boxes and slept on the concrete? Some of them even have nice chairs and even a real mattress! Now the cops don’t even chase off people giving them free food. Comfy accommodations, free food, free rent, nice lawn with a nice view. Wow, homeless is not looking too bad these days.

  50. leon

    Geeze Ya’ll talk a lot.

    • UnCivilServant

      This? This is nothing. NOTHING!

  51. The Other Kevin

    One of my favorite things about summer is that the Wings of Freedom tour comes to the airport that’s about a mile and a half from my house. I get to see WWII bombers and fighters up close. Sometimes they fly right over my house. Once two fighters in formation flew over my head. My jaw literally dropped.

    But this year, it’s on hold because one of the bombers crashed in October, killing 7 people and destroying the bomber. This year keeps getting sadder.

    • Translucent Chum

      Over Macho Grande?

      • KSuellington

        Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.

      • The Other Kevin

        I can’t talk about that. It’s classified.

  52. Not Adahn

    Advertising… advertising never changes

    Excited to Be Back in the Lab?

    Save on Eppendorf pipettes to help acclimate to the new normal.

    Dear Not Adahn,

    As labs across the country reopen, we begin to acclimate to the lab’s new normal. There are many new guidelines around the handling of shared equipment and social distancing, so adjusting may seem like a challenge. Eppendorf is here to help you save on pipettes as you get the process started!

    Perhaps ad agencies could just become fully automated, inserting whatever the top twitter trend is into their copy?

    • UnCivilServant

      Pipettes don’t get reused anyway. Even I know that much.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Bit of a lag. No woke pipettes?

      • UnCivilServant

        They identify as Burettes.

  53. Rebel Scum

    Splitting headache…

    The 36-year-old New Yorker apparently suffered a mishap recently when a giant knife was driven downward into the top of his head.

    And it stayed there, but he didn’t appear to mind.

    Remember those 70’s kung fu movies where people endured impossible injuries and just kept on truckin’? Well, it was like that.

    • Tejicano

      A buddy of mine, after finishing his Psych degree, got a job in a hospital in the ER to attend to patients who might be facing trauma and distress. (This was NYC about 45 years ago)

      One day they called him to talk with a guy who had walked in somewhat disoriented. It turns out he was a construction worker who, as he was walking off the job at the end of his shift, caught a huge, steel spike dropped off the 15th floor. This spike hit him right between the lobes, imbedded about 6 inches in, causing very minimal bleeding and no pain. There was about 3 inches of the spike protruding from the top of his head. About a 1/4 inch of the point was protruding though the roof of his mouth.

      The guy had been wandering around, total amnesia about his identity, and only complained that he felt disoriented.

    • WTF

      It can be surprising how much abuse the human body can take and keep on going, especially when adrenaline is involved. That’s why when deadly force is justified you keep shooting until the threat goes down.

  54. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of “Kids always think they invented [X]”…

    I got my hairs cut yesterday. My hair was as long as it has been since college, and it was driving me bonkers. I finally found a little neighborhood barber shop, no mask theatrics required.

    At one point, the girl cutting my hair stopped, and said, “If I quit now, you’ll be rocking a totally awesome mullet. They’re coming back, you know.”

    I said, “I never had one then, and I definitely don’t need one now. Keep cutting.”

    • R C Dean

      Too bad. Mullets are the Confederate battle flag of haircuts.

  55. straffinrun

    Orwell is rolling over in his free box today.

    • Rhywun

      Nice.

    • Idle Hands

      Pretty good.

    • Hyperion

      Well, it’s never been blacks, in general, who want to destroy Western Civilization, it’s mostly white commies. Sure if they can get a few young blacks with nothing better to do and no common sense to help them, they’ll do it. But don’t expect to see middle class black folk with jobs to be out tearing down statues, they have the same priorities most of us do, mostly concerned with family.

    • Hyperion

      So, is this dude cancelled yet?

      • kbolino

        He’s probably got “fuck you” money like Roseanne and doesn’t care.

      • Rhywun

        I was certain that Roseanne was never going to air again. Boy was I wrong – it’s on multiple channels daily. And TVLand shows it all day on Sundays.

  56. Pope Jimbo

    Good to see that the classics aren’t being forgotten in this time of hip new wokeness. Brother Keith Minnesoda’s AG has filed a lawsuit against Exon and Koch for lying about climate change

    The lawsuit was applauded by several state environmental groups, including the Minnesota Center for Environmental Advocacy, Honor the Earth, Fresh Energy and MN350.

    “We have a choice over freedom to profit or freedom to breathe,” and the oil industry has chosen the former, said Sam Grant, executive director of MN350, at the Wednesday news conference announcing the lawsuit.

    People of color — particularly black Americans and Indians — have been disproportionally impacted by the ills of climate change, he noted.

    “The damage to indigenous people is rising,” Winona LaDuke, director of Honor the Earth, said at Wednesday’s news conference.

    See this is how you do it. No reason you can’t blend communism and racism into the climate change scam.

    • PieInTheSky

      Is lying about climate change, if that is what it is, even illegal?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      How you know Minnesota is going broke and needs an influx of funds.

    • Idle Hands

      Um the first amendment says hi. Also I believe it;s legal to spend money on research to reach a predetermined conclusion as social sciences not only exist they thrive.

    • leon

      People of color — particularly black Americans and Indians — have been disproportionally impacted by the ills of climate change, he noted.

      Keep fucking that Whore, she won’t die.

      • Idle Hands

        Pretty sure the Rolling Stones have several songs about that very thing.

    • kbolino

      Didn’t they already do this once and lose?

      • R C Dean

        I think that was CA.

      • See Double You

        New York.

      • Rhywun

        Both. And we are very far away from declaring these cases as “lost”.

  57. leon

    RE: Seatle -> I’d say about time, but i know that the courts are going to say “Government only has to provide those protections to society in general, not specific individuals, and you are just a part of the city of Seattle, so you they owe you nothing.”

    RE: Masks: When being racist is just a term of “outgroup” in your pathetic religion, then it is clear that anyone who opposes your glorious rule is a racist.

    RE: Jimmy Kimmel. I was on the Meh train yesterday about “cancel Kimmel” i don’t think he’s that funny, and i wasn’t going to stick my neck out for him after he’s supported the same over and over again. Now that i read his “apology” i say, fuck him. The guy’s a complete narcissist asshole who can’t say “I’m sorry” without yelling about how other people are going to make hay of it and that it’s really all their fault. Fuck you.

    • Viking1865

      Someone summarized Kimmel’s apology as “People who don’t wear blackface are actually the real racists.”

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Kimmel’s a douche. But the LA Times commentary on him is just wrong.

      Blackface isn’t funny. Not only because it can never overcome its origins but also because it just isn’t humorous.

      The blackface/whiteface tank scene from 1941 is hilarious. Unfortunately it appears to have been scrubbed from the internet.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Maybe I’m off here, but he was IMPERSONATING a black person.

        If that’s bad now watch out Kirk Lazarus.

        Kimmel is a cowardly twat. Just say sorry and move the fuck on. No, he has to be a smart-ass passive-aggressive little bitch. Yeh, you showed the class how cool and rebellious you are Jimmy.

    • PieInTheSky

      that website wants me to identify buses. pass.

      • leon

        Thank you Pie. We all have to do our part to make sure the computers don’t learn how to ID our modes of transportation. Next they’ll be asking for you to Identify the Ammo Cans and Nukes.

      • sloopyinca

        Can someone create an app like “Not hotdog” but for buses, street signs, and crosswalks to get around captcha?

      • Nephilium

        Last I read, the captcha is already dead and has been solved by programs.

      • UnCivilServant

        So why do I still have to jump through the hoops if the robots are better at claiming to not be a robot than I am?

      • Nephilium

        Because they haven’t figured out a more annoying way to slow down page requests?

    • Juvenile Bluster

      I’m not. They’re all murderers and deserve to burn.

      • Idle Hands

        Yeah this is either an unlawful abduction and murder or a straight up lynching. That’s all I’d be choosing from if I was on this jury.

      • sloopyinca

        They had no right to even attempt to detain him. The entire interaction began with an attempt to kidnap someone. You lose the right to become a victim when you are committing a felony. Kidnapping is a felony. The use of a firearm in the commission of a felony takes away your right to stand your ground.

        They have no defense that stands up against the GA law for making a citizens arrest. In a just world, they’re fucked.

      • Don Escaped MLB

        In a just world

        if they get off, at least the victim’s family would then have a nice little blue-print for how to legally track these three guys down and kill them in some equally contrived and specious circumstance

        not that they’re going to last long in prison anyway

      • Rebel Scum

        Citizens arrests are legal (if ill-advised) and they were supposed on the phone with the police prior to and during the encounter.

      • Viking1865

        The cops only know what someone is telling them over the phone.

        Remember a few years back, I think it was in Vegas, some moron saw a mans sidearm, called it in to the cops as MAN WITH A GUN IN COSTCO!!!!! and they shot him to death in the parking lot. Based on the info they got over the phone, they did nothing wrong. But of course, the reality was 100% opposite of the phone call.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        The guy that filmed it was charged too. Would you include him as well?

      • sloopyinca

        Not for the filming, but for participating by trying to box him in with his vehicle.

    • Viking1865

      What is there to be skeptical about? It’s all on video. Even if Aubrey was the guy breaking into houses, you can’t chase a guy down on the street and kill him. That’s murder. Although I’m not sure how they’re charging three guys with four counts of murder.

      It’s like with Floyd. Floyd was a piece of shit. If he’d been shot breaking into someones house (for the second time) he’d be one of the “2A working as intended” file. But that’s not what happened. What happened is a State agent slowly strangled him to death on the street.

      • Rebel Scum

        t’s all on video.

        The only video I have seen show Aubrey running at the guys in the truck.

        you can’t chase a guy down on the street and kill him.

        There is evidence suggesting this was not the case. They had been in contact with the police.

      • Rebel Scum

        You don’t call the police if you are intent on murdering someone.

      • sloopyinca

        They didn’t intend to murder him. They intended to make an illegal citizens arrest while armed. The murder was a consequence of their attempt at an illegal detention (kidnapping). Therefore they can’t use SYG as a defense.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        This

        The only reason they weren’t immediately arrested was because the main perpetrator was an ex-cop.

      • leon

        No it was clearly because he was White. And once again we will sidestep talks about how bad our police system is in the US.

    • Drake

      I’m skeptical of this and every other bandwagon I’m supposed to hop on.

      • sloopyinca

        Georgia Code 17-4-60: the person must have witnessed the crime in his presence of have immediate knowledge of a specific crime having been committed to make a legal citizens arrest.

        Unless they can prove they knew of a specific break in and the specific items that were allegedly stolen by Aubrey, they have no defense to even initiating the detention. The fact that he posed no immediate threat and they had alternatives (like calling the police to report the suspicious activity they never witnessed in this occasion) means they were basically attempting to commit a kidnapping while armed.

        Again, in a just world they’re gonna be fucked.

      • Viking1865

        The problem is that the supposed “hidden twist” is the surveillance video of Aubrey committing petty trespassing. Which, well, it doesn’t fucking matter that he was trespassing. Even if he had been running down the street, holding a TV, draped in jewels, it still wouldn’t have been a good shoot.

    • Rebel Scum

      I didn’t mean to get everyone into a tizzy over this. I am currently of the opinion that everyone involved made poor decisions that ultimately resulted in a persons death. Thus far I do not see criminal intent on the part of the people charged.

      So I’ll just leave it at that and let the trial play out.

      • sloopyinca

        If they intended to stop him without having witnessed a crime or having direct and immediate knowledge of a felony, they they intended to kidnap him outside the law on making a citizens arrest. That’s intending to commit a criminal act.

      • sloopyinca

        And not just the loose knowledge of “there have been trespassers in homes under construction and things were missing”. I mean knowledge of a specific felony being committed by Aubrey at a specific location and a specific time.

      • Rebel Scum

        That is a lot of “if’s” that will be addressed. And SM link above covers everything that you guys have brought up. He has done multiple videos addressing multiple issues surrounding the case. “If” (teehee) information provided and conclusions drawn are on par with reality then there is reason to be skeptical at the very least.

      • Fatty Bolger

        No, they probably didn’t set out to murder the guy. But they chased him down, boxed him in with two vehicles, and the guy who shot him stepped out of his car holding a shotgun, while they were yelling at him to stop. They had no grounds to do any of that, so they’re already committing a crime. And when the victim of that tried to defend himself, foolishly perhaps, but something he has a right to do, he was shot during the commission of that crime. That’s murder.

      • Viking1865

        Yeah when it comes to armed self defense, the more time and space you had, the higher the standard grows.

        If you wake up in the middle of the night, and theres a man standing in your bedroom, and you shoot him dead on the spot, it doesn’t matter that it was your drunk neighbor who thought he was crawling into his own bedroom window. Sucks to be him.

        Broad daylight. Zero lethal threat. The advantage of numbers, mobility, and weaponry. No felony being committed. They have put themselves into the position of acting as police officers, and so should be held to police officer standards of use of force. They chose to go arrest someone, and they now get to deal with the consequences of their actions.

        The media line of “innocent black man killed while jogging” isn’t the truth. The truth is “Vigilantes murder a man over minor trespassing in an empty house.”

      • sloopyinca

        You didn’t get everyone into a tizzy. You staked out a position and we disagreed. That’s what civilized people do. It’s what happens here all the time.

        If the rest of the world had disagreements like we do, it would be a much better place.

    • RAHeinlein

      “Wallace has been unfairly maligned as misinformation about what actually went down has made the rounds on social media.”

      No – Wallace is a publicity whore and supports an overtly racist, anti-semitic, marxist, anarchist group. I hope he and his team lose fans and $$.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yeah, I noticed the USAF logo on his overalls too.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Er, I read that Bubba had retracted his accusation and admitted embarrassment.

    • Hyperion

      We can never have only one Jussie.

    • R C Dean

      The statement NASCAR PR put on his Twitter feed after Bubba continued to insist it was a noose, it was a hate crime, and anyone who questioned it was simpleminded:

      “It’s been an emotional few days. First off, I want to say how relieved I am that the investigation revealed that this wasn’t what we feared it was,” he wrote. “I want to thank my team, NASCAR and the FBI for acting swiftly and treating this as a real threat.

      “I think we’ll gladly take a little embarrassment over what the alternatives could have been,” Wallace continued. “Make no mistake, though some will try, this should not detract from the show of unity we had on Monday, and the progress we’ve made as a sport to be a more welcoming environment for all.”

      I believe Bubba’s real thoughts are what he said in the interviews, some conducted after the FBI said there was nothing to it. I believe he lied when he said he had never seen a garage door pull like that, and that he is being mendacious at best in continuing to call it a noose and pretending there was any possibility it was a hate crime.

  58. Rebel Scum

    Racebaiters gotta racebait.

    Sharpton not ready to give up on the NASCAR “noose” story: “It’s clear what a noose represents … And then did someone know that it was in the stall when they did belatedly assign Bubba there? … I do not think that we’ve seen closure in this particular inquiry.”

    • Drake

      “Civil Rights” went from a legitimate cause in the 60’s, to a complete racket by the 90’s, to the Marxist front group it is now.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Sharpton’s jumping in on one of the stupidest alleged cases of bigotry available? It’s almost heartening to see that some things never change.

      • Gustave Lytton

        There was a brief time about 20 years ago when it seemed Sharpton had mellowed and was giving up the juvenile parlor antics in favor of mature seasoning. Guess there wasn’t enough grift in it.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Needs a riot after the hoax for Sharpton level closure.

      • UnCivilServant

        Where the rioters run Sharpton out of town on a rail?

    • Viking1865

      There’s pictures of the garages, showing that the garage next door, and presumably all the garages, have a pull loop attached to the door.

      If it was a Racial Terror Noose, then there would be only one. Since there are more than one, it cannot be a Racial Terror Noose. Simple logic.

    • sloopyinca

      Has that fucker paid his taxes yet?

      • Not Adahn

        Maybe he can get Johnnie Cochran to pay them for him.

  59. Pope Jimbo

    Silly rubes in Washington, if you want to do real things to solve racism, go look at Duluth. Duluth will remove ‘chief’ from job titles, calling it offensive to Indigenous people

    “I think that there are other titles that we have the opportunity to use to steer away from language that may put people down based off their race or culture,” said Alicia Kozlowski, Duluth’s community relations officer and member of the Grand Portage and Fond du Lac Bands of Lake Superior Chippewa.

    Kozlowski said “chief” is used as “a racial epithet, and it turns into a microaggression.” She added that the city is trying to be proactive by addressing the issue before residents ask.

    That is how you do it. No more racist shit like having a Chief Financial Officer is going to taint Duluth! Now they can focus on less important things, like the $38M budget shortfall.

    • Nephilium

      That’s old news. Step up to woke wine masters.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Stop the earth, I want off.

    • Tejicano

      I suppose the US Navy haz a confuz since the military is doing its best to be as woke as possible BUT the term “Chief”, being shorthand for the rank of Chief Petty Officer, is basically woven into their DNA.

      • leon

        I don’t know about the rest of the services but Chief is shorthand for WO-2 through WO-5 in the Army.

      • l0b0t

        We had a WO-4 in charge of our motor pool. He had a great poster in his office.

        When you commission something, you order it to be made. When you warrant something, you guarantee that it works.

    • kbolino

      chief

      Etymology

      From Middle English chef, borrowed from Old French chief (“leader”), from Vulgar Latin *capum (from which also captain, chieftain), from Latin caput (“head”) (English cap (“head covering”)), from Proto-Indo-European *kauput- (English head).

      • sloopyinca

        ::flips over desk in a rage after fixing a typo that caused me to reply a few seconds late::

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Taht’s what yuo gte for fxing typos.

    • sloopyinca

      The modern English “Chief” derived from Middle English (chef), which derived from Middle French (chief). If anything, those damn redskins need to stop using our honkey words to describe themselves.

    • Rhywun

      Customers at bodegas hardest hit.

    • Mad Scientist

      I’m perfectly OK with this so long as they change the title to Big Cheese of Police.

    • WTF

      “Chief” originates from the Old French (also “chief”) meaning leader/ruler/head; it traces all the way back to the Latin “capum” and “caput” meaning head. It is where the title “chef” comes from, as he is the head of the kitchen. There is nothing racist or racial about it.

    • UnCivilServant

      Since Chinese Communist built cities only last 3-5 years before collapsing, I’m not surprised.

      • WTF

        The Chicoms really are not known for their quality in manufacturing and building.

  60. DEG

    I was a dumbfuck. I thought my physical therapy appointment was at 10:30 AM. It was actually at 10 AM. I realized my mistake as I was getting ready to leave a few minutes after ten.

    Nick Kroll, the show’s creator, also put out a statement, saying that “After thoughtful discussion with us and our Black collaborators, Jenny Slate has decided, and we wholeheartedly agree, that Missy on Big Mouth should be voiced by a Black actor.

    “We sincerely apologize for and regret our original decision to cast a White actor to voice a biracial character. We made a mistake, took our privilege for granted, and we’re working hard to do better moving forward.”

    WTF?

    A mask mandate exemption for people of color meant to address racial profiling concerns has been removed after racist backlash, Oregon county officials said in a statement.
    “The expressions of racism regarding the exception has created a ripple of fear throughout our communities of color. The very policy meant to protect them, is now making them a target for further discrimination and harassment,” Lincoln County leaders said Wednesday.

    Who could have possibly seen that coming?

    Twenty-two officers have been injured and police cars smashed up during “significant disorder” following an illegal street party in Brixton overnight.

    “Illegal street party” – coming to a city near you?

    “Rather, this lawsuit is about the constitutional and other legal rights of plaintiffs — businesses, employees, and residents in and around CHOP — which have been overrun by the city of Seattle’s unprecedented decision to abandon and close off an entire city neighborhood, leaving it unchecked by the police, unserved by fire and emergency health services, and inaccessible to the public at large,” the lawsuit said.

    The Seattle City Attorney’s Office said it had not yet seen the lawsuit but would review it.

    Prediction: lawsuit goes nowhere.

  61. Fatty Bolger

    Anybody else get the sense that the media hive mind has decided that it’s going to be COVID! COVID! COVID! again, all Summer long? I guess they decided that riots, looters, and autonomous zones is not going to get their guy elected, but COVID! might do the trick. At least it provides an excuse to keep Biden under wraps for as long as possible.

    • leon

      Anybody else get the sense that the media hive mind has decided that it’s going to be COVID! COVID! COVID! again, all Summer long?

      2 Reasons:
      1. Trump decided to start doing rallies again. You can trace this trend directly to them trying to brow beat the Tulsa Ralley. The narrative didn’t even switch, they simultaneously were proud about the protests while attacking Trump for his rally over COVID.
      2. Its fun to beat up on Red States who are seeing increases in cases of COVID, when New York is doing better. See if the Red States had gone along with the whole pandemic like New Yorke they would be where New York is now, not in the throws of a pandemic. (Ignores any context of how much worse NY was).

    • Tejicano

      They’re going to keep Biden under wraps for so long they may as well declare him a Pharaoh.

      • leon

        :Golf Clap:

        I just saw a Biden Fundraising commercial (I don’t skip so that he has to pay that ad money). His pitch was about how important grassroots donations are and that they are pushing his campaign right now. Which is just laughable. we all know that its money from the High Rollers that are getting him elected.

      • Don Escaped MLB

        I just saw a Biden Fundraising commercial

        There was a Trump ad here on TV a few days ago; bizarre: I’m in the corner of three of the reddest states in the Union

      • Fatty Bolger

        Not surprising. He campaigned heavily in solid red states in 2016, even in the days leading up to the election. And blue states where he had no chance. All the political experts though he was crazy, of course.

      • leon

        Don’t you have a Democrat Governor?

      • Don Escaped MLB

        Most states have the urban-suburban strife, but Tennessee has regional animus as well; there are three stars on our flag for a reason. As for Memphis (TN09), I suspect 88% of other Tennesseans regard us as foreigners and would pay us to secede.

        Historically, TN votes for the man, not the party. Since 1967, the governor has bounced between the two main parties almost perfectly, the recent election of Mr Lee as a second consecutive Republican being a fresh departure.

      • Rhywun

        I’ve seen several. Can only be nationwide though – presidential candidates do not advertise in NY.

      • Drake

        I saw one of his ads – he stumbles over his words and I think “wow, that was the best take”.

        Hard to image how he doesn’t self-destruct in the debates.

      • kbolino

        Does he actually require anything other than a pulse? He’s guaranteed to get 47% of the vote.

      • Drake

        I think when he goes out in public he’ll actively convince people that’s he’s mentally unfit.

      • Tejicano

        If he somehow gets pushed into a debate with Trump the biggest issue will be how Trump is coached to respond and not look like he’s stomping a puppy into the concrete. Trump will have to restrain he responses to a shrug of the shoulders with a facial expression like – “Really, you want this guy in charge??”

    • Chipwooder

      It’s blatantly obvious. They’ve immediately shifted back into virus freakout mode, and the same old shit where they excoriate Florida and laud NY.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That’s because Seattle is going to shit and they don’t want to talk about it.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Can you imagine how something like this would normally be covered? It would be on 24/7 blast in the major media.

      • kbolino

        Citizen, your time for party-approved expression has ended.

    • The Other Kevin

      I can definitely say so, based on the headlines. “Cases increasing!” is intentionally misleading. The whole point of “bending the curve” was to delay cases so that hospitals can be ready. I’ve been watching the Indiana numbers, and although testing and cases are going up, hospitalizations and deaths are all going down, and there are plenty of ventilators and hospital beds available.

      • Chipwooder

        The cases are going up because healthy adults are getting it……which isn’t a big deal as very few of them develop a serious illness from it.

  62. The Late P Brooks

    Unanticipated

    In the three months since a slew of programs were announced, the Fed has loaned out just $143 billion, or a mere 6.2% of its total firepower. The most ambitious initiative, the Main Street Lending Program, has yet to make a loan, according to the most recent Fed balance sheet data, though officials expect that to change in a matter of days.

    As for the rest of the measures, from municipal lending to corporate credit to the Fed’s role in the Paycheck Protection Program, there are several likely explanations for why what was supposed to be an infusion of cash into the economy instead has been a comparative trickle.

    One is simply that the programs, particularly in the case of Main Street, are complicated and have proven difficult to launch as the Fed gathers feedback and works through logistics. Another is that there is simply less demand from entities that are finding other ways to make do. And on that same point, the notion that the U.S. economy is recovering more quickly than expected from a recession that began in February has negated the need for the arsenal that the Fed launched starting in March.

    “The economy is getting better, so you’re not seeing as many firms short of cash as you’d seen in March and April,” said Yiming Ma, an assistant finance professor at Columbia University Business School. “Some of the terms are just not very attractive to firms who potentially do need the funds.”

    Businesses were forced to close by the government, so they don’t have any cash flow and have no idea when they might be permitted to resume normal operations. They aren’t clamoring to take on more debt? It’s inexplicable.

  63. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of blackface in entertainment-

    Will the movie “Black Like Me” be disappeared by the Racial Justice lynch mob?

    • Chipwooder

      or Soul Man

      • Bobarian LMD

        Who is C. Thomas Howell?

        The world may never know.

  64. Raven Nation

    Following on from the soccer/football discussion above, the bizarre nature of the end of this season is increasing. Most contracts end June 30 (that is, if the player is in the final year of their contract). So, now we have players signing short-term contracts to get through the season. And others NOT signing short-term contracts which means they miss the last games of the season.

    It gets particularly bad at lower levels. League Two Colchester United was in a playoff spot when the season was suspended. But, with no clear direction, they released four first-team regulars in May for financial reasons. Then the league decided to go ahead with the playoffs. So CU went into the playoffs with a team missing a third of their regular starters. Bizarre.

    • littleruttiger

      How many games are left? As I recall, the EPL used to start early August, I guess they would push that back

      • Raven Nation

        League One and League Two have gone straight to playoffs using a points per game formula. National League + NL North & South will do something similar.

        The Championship doesn’t finish the regular season until July 22 with playoffs to follow. No date for 20/21 but some suggestions it could be the end of August.

        EPL finishes July 26. 20/21 looks like early to mid September.

      • littleruttiger

        Thanks – I haven’t followed things for about 10 years or so, back when I was living with my parents and they had a dish. A good match where both teams are trying to score is about as good a viewing experience as one can find, although I never learned tactics enough to appreciate conservative approaches

  65. Pope Jimbo

    Not liking where this story about a cluster of Covid cases is going.

    Despite some hopeful trends in COVID-19 hospitalizations and deaths, Minnesota officials now worry that many people — especially young adults — aren’t doing enough to help minimize the spread of COVID-19 as they return to social spaces.

    Minnesota’s now dealing with a virus cluster of roughly 100 cases in south-central Minnesota of people in their 20s who said they visited bars on June 12 and 13, Kris Ehresmann, the state’s infectious disease director, told reporters Wednesday. She didn’t say exactly where, or which bars.

    While those young people may be less likely to suffer complications from COVID-19, the concern is that they may be inadvertently spreading the disease to grandparents or other vulnerable populations.

    This screams “Get ready for Lockdown II” to me. Kids are going to bars! And getting the virus!!! Sure none of them died, or needed to go to the hospital, but still….

    • WTF

      The Dem governors need the excuse to keep their economies locked down because they think it will hurt Trump in November.

      • Hyperion

        And then when Biden wins, all those states get multi-trillion dollar bailouts as tax payer expense. But don’t worry, Cornpop won’t raise your taxes, lol.

      • WTF

        I know for fact that is exactly Phil Murphy’s thinking, a politically-connected friend of mine got it from a state senator.

  66. Rebel Scum

    Allow me to retrieve some lighter news about a dog in her golden years.

    A dog named August in Oakland, Tennessee, has become the oldest living golden retriever in history after celebrating her 20th birthday in April, according to GoldHeart Golden Retrievers Rescue.

    The dog’s owners, Jennifer and Steve Hetterscheidt, said “Augie” was rehomed twice before they adopted her at 14 years old.

    • Chipwooder

      The oldest dog I’ve ever known personally lived to be 19. Ol’ Scooter was pretty much a zombie by that point – mostly blind and deaf, he could follow his nose (very slowly) to his food bowl and you had to carry him down the back steps to the yard every few hours so he could piss and shit.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Aw. I had a Scooter that lived to 18.5. At dusk he’d start circling the room counter-clockwise, sometimes getting stuck in corners.

  67. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I just realized I have two nooses on each of my shoes.

    *admits self to reeducation camp*

  68. "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

    “Wait, that’s the reason you rescinded the exception? It’s not, you know, because it violates the equal protection clause and civil rights act? Because it very much did both, you racist.”

    None of that matters. Why are people still pretending like laws and logic govern the judiciary? They’ll just make something up to make this OK.

    If people were smart they would just claim to be black and not wear a mask and then dare the government to try and prove how they are black. Because there is no metric for a subjective classification like that.

    • Chipwooder

      That happens in Australia – lily-white people claim to be aborigines.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        Why not? None of those categories have defined definitions. The same reason why racial IQ “science” is bunk (because there is no definition for what is a “black” or “Asian” person) is the same reason why this law is ridiculous.

        And if we’re going to do this off of skin color, I know a guy who is Japanese and Italian and he’s darker skinned than most Hollywood black celebrities. These are ridiculous definitions, so people should just say “fuck it” and do what is most advantageous to you.

        I have zero faith in the judiciary to behave sanely, but no person is under any obligation to abide by an immoral law. And this law is clearly immoral.

      • Chipwooder

        My grandfather was mostly of Irish ancestry (though his last name was German as his one non-Irish forebear was his paternal grandfather), but after he moved to Florida he would get so deeply tanned that you would never guess.

  69. Tejicano

    I’m waiting (it will be a long wait but it’s cool, I’ll wait) until the idea about the attitude that comes with “Fuck You Money” becomes so cool that simply having a “Fuck You” attitude becomes cool too.

    Because I might not quite have the money but I sure as hell have the attitude.

    • KSuellington

      Today on Lifestyles, we bring you champagne wishes and caviar dreams from the private shooting range of a man that goes by the moniker, Tejicano. Let’s check in with the man himself, whose fabulous wealth is only exceeded by his surly demeanor, punctuated with one of his favoured greetings, “BLANK off, slaver.”

  70. salted earth

    For anyone interested in a PNW glib meet up

    sodium at proton mail dot com

  71. The Late P Brooks

    I’m waiting (it will be a long wait but it’s cool, I’ll wait) until the idea about the attitude that comes with “Fuck You Money” becomes so cool that simply having a “Fuck You” attitude becomes cool too.

    Because I might not quite have the money but I sure as hell have the attitude.

    Back in the old days, in Aspen, the unofficial town motto was, apparently, “Fuck you, I’m rich.”

    Some people (not saying who) co-opted that to, “Fuck you, I’m broke.”

    • Tejicano

      I’d probably be quoted as saying “Fuck you. I’m armed”

  72. Brochettaward

    The noon article is now two full minutes late. Outrageous!

    • Not Adahn

      It’s 11:00 glibtime.

    • UnCivilServant

      There’s no noon article on the calendar…

    • Brochettaward

      How am I supposed to first on posts that don’t exist? How am I supposed to be first now?

      • UnCivilServant

        *shrug*

        I think you’re the only one who cares.

      • Nephilium

        Submit articles? Wouldn’t that be the true first?

      • Not Adahn

        You’d think he could at least write up an axe review or the best hollow-core doors or something.

      • pan fried wylie

        You mean the negative #’d comments?

    • The Other Kevin

      We’ve all been canceldoxxed!!!!

    • Incentives Matter

      Noon? What is this noon article of which you speak? I’ve never seen anything drop from TPTB prior to around 2:00 P.M. in the Manliest District Time zone.

      • Don Escaped MLB

        Beam ?

      • Incentives Matter

        You rang, good sir?

  73. UnCivilServant

    Why is it that whenever I order anything with goat in it, the meat not mere contains bones, but small, sharp fragments of bone as if the carcass were fed through a bread slicer instead of being processed properly?

    • Not Adahn

      Most goat slicers sold are cheap Indo-Pak versions.

    • Chipwooder

      Goat??

      • UnCivilServant

        Yes.

        So far I’d recommend Jamaican preparations the most.

      • Gender Traitor

        Your original comment about goat meat isn’t the most convincing endorsement unless Jamaican cooks are more careful about processing the meat.

        I have never knowingly eaten goat meat. Does it resemble any more common meat in flavor and/or texture?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Greasy beef.

        And it’s good.

      • Sensei

        +1 – Recommended!

      • mikey

        A bit like lamb.
        I thought the shards were some cultural thing – always had it at Indian places.

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s not particularly strong in terms of flavor, so it usually ends up in preparations with more seasoning. It also tends to get slow cooked to to ‘fall off the bone’ consistancy. I’d say it’s closest flavor relative is also the closest species relative in that it’s more like lamb/mutton preparations than pork or beef.

        I’m afraid the Jamaicans probably source their goat from the same suppliers as the Indians, so it’s got the same bones. But in addition to better seasoning, they have fried plantains on the side.

      • l0b0t

        Ditto oxtail. I’ve grown to grudgingly accept the more participatory aspect of Caribbean presentation.

    • pan fried wylie

      Some places do this to their chicken wings too. Like, you wanna piece out the wings yourself, ok, but try butchering instead of chopping them with a wood axe.

  74. leon

    I guess i should get on writing that article i’ve been meaning to write.

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      Hadn’t heard of him before, but he’s cute.

    • mikey

      Fun. I liked the detailed way he went through his data. He should do the WuFlu and Global Weather panics – we might learn something.

  75. Rebel Scum

    Insults to Black History
    By Walter E. Williams

    Often overlooked or ignored is the fact that, as a group, black Americans have made the greatest gains, over some of the highest hurdles, and in a shorter span of time than any other racial group in history.

    For example, if one totaled up the earnings and spending of black Americans and considered us as a separate nation with our own gross domestic product, we would rank well within the top 20 richest nations. A black American, Gen. Colin Powell, once headed the world’s mightiest military. Black Americans are among the world’s most famous personalities, and a few black Americans are among the world’s richest people such as investor Robert F. Smith, IT service provider David Steward, Oprah Winfrey, and basketball star Michael Jordan. Plus, there was a black U.S. president. …

    Government should do its job of protecting constitutional rights. After that, black people should be simply left alone as opposed to being smothered by the paternalism inspired by white guilt. On that note, I just cannot resist the temptation to refer readers to my “Proclamation of Amnesty and Pardon,” which grants Americans of European ancestry amnesty and pardon for their own grievances and those of their forebears against my people so that they stop feeling guilty and stop acting like fools in their relationship with Americans of African ancestry.

    • Viking1865

      “such as investor Robert F. Smith”

      Whos wife, for the record, is a former Playboy Playmate 22 years his junior.

  76. Hyperion

    Just curious if anyone here has any experience with that Parler site, the supposed free speech alternative to the Twatter? .I was curious to see it, so I tried to sign up and it requires a phone number, so I balked on it at that point. Not sure if they only want that for a confirmation email, or if they actually store it.

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      Some of the newest Lockdown Sceptics comments complained about the same thing. But apparently Rand is on it.

    • Gender Traitor

      Tom Teriffic (Mr. GT) just started using it, I believe. I’d think he, too, would have balked at providing a phone number. I’ll ask him how he handled that and about his impressions of the site so far.

      • Hyperion

        Thanks, I’m really curious, but very hesitant to put my cell number on the intertoobz. I get enough spam calls as it is.

      • mikey

        BEachwood 4-5789

      • Rhywun

        Or PEnnsylvania 6-5000.

      • Incentives Matter

        Or “Jenny’s Number” (867-5309).

      • Don Escaped MLB

        I got it.

        I got it.

      • Hyperion

        Ya’ll are funny, but don’t think I didn’t already think of that. The problem comes when Jenny doesn’t call you to give you the validation code they emailed her. So you’re stuck at continue, forever.

    • Toxteth O’Grady

      Sounds as if you have to input a very fleeting security code, so fake numbers won’t work.

    • Idle Hands

      or noose or someone who fishes. I’m just asking the questions.

    • Mojeaux

      Okay Houston we have a knot ‘shop.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Manipulated photo you mean?

      • Mojeaux

        Yes, P’shop, Photoshop, which would have made my comment less snappy.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Zooming in on the rope shows a distortion/blur along its entire length. I think you’re right.

      • B.P.

        Are there forensic methods for determining photoshops?

      • Incentives Matter

        Several, yes. I expect someone to start analyzing this any minute now. Or not. This photo was released within the last 24 hours, which means, even if it isn’t ‘Shopped, anyone could have simply tied that rope to look like that after this kerfuffle exploded. Proves precisely jack and shit, not necessarily in that order.

      • B.P.

        Even if this turns out to be a racist threat (which it won’t), the white supremacy franchise has really taken a nosedive. Members of the KKK used to hold governorships, openly burn crosses on the tops of mountains, etc. (Not to mention, you know, brutal killings and such) Now white supremacists are reduced to tying nooses out of half-inch thick string that goes unnoticed for nearly a year, secretly flashing “okay” hand signs, etc.

      • Not Adahn

        I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if it was actually a noose. Not because NASCAR is (necessarily) crawling with racists, but I can see somebody poking at someone who is so ostentatiously/self-righteously anti-racist.

        I had a (((fraternity brother))) who would sign his notes on the bulletin board with a Magen David. One day, someone left a reply note signed with a swastika. The second guy was a jerk, but not to my knowledge actually a nazi, he was just responding in the same symbolic library.

      • Sensei

        Did you confirm the orientation to make sure he wasn’t a Buddhist?

      • Not Adahn

        If he was, he really sucked at it, between the eating meat, the drinking, the preening, and the general lack of tranquility.

      • Rhywun

        That’s the aura caused by its malevolent power.

    • Not Adahn

      I did not know that Kroger sold gas for NASCAR.

    • B.P.

      If there’s a noose for a garage door pull, wouldn’t the puller’s hand get stuck in it every time the garage door was closed?

    • Sean

      That’s a real clean piece of rope…

    • R C Dean

      Better look at it, officially released by NASCAR (finally).

      Doesn’t look obviously ‘shopped. I have a hard time believing NASCAR would fake it. I don’t know why they took so damn long to release the photo.

      I’ll retract my earlier “only an idiot would call it a noose”. That doesn’t look anything like the photos of the loops in other pix of the garages.

      I’ll speculate that the FBI called it “noose-like” because its actually a fishing knot and not a true slip-knot hangman’s noose. I’m guessing they interviewed someone who told them it had been there since last fall.

      • Rhywun

        As someone mentioned, releasing a photo 4 days later doesn’t mean jack shit.

  77. Chipwooder

    I’ll say this much about Andy Cuomo, he’s got some fucking gall to him

    Talking Points Memo
    @TPM
    NY Gov. Andrew Cuomo to FL Gov. Ron DeSantis: “I say to them all, look at the numbers. You played politics with this virus and you lost.”

    • Idle Hands

      He’s easily the most shameless politician I have seen in a while. Pretty sure Trump has more humility.

    • WTF

      Because Florida’s death rate was only a mere fraction of New York’s death rate?

      • Idle Hands

        The goal is to win.

    • Rebel Scum

      What a cunte.

    • robc

      NY death rate is STILL (7 day average) 50% higher than the FL death rate.

  78. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

    I was reading a Sci fi book last night, and I had to stop after a few chapters because the woke identitarianism was too much. We’re in an international Martian colony literally a few hours after nuclear holocaust killed tens to hundreds of millions on planet Earth. The protagonist, in the process of trying to figure out what the hell is going on, has page after brutal page of internal monologue like “Bob is gay. People around here try really hard to be inclusive, but if you have to try to be inclusive, that means you’re excluding him by default.” and “the US delegation was a carefully selected cornucopia of race, gender, sexuality, and culture. I wonder which qualified, talented diverse candidate got left out so that Jim, the idiot charismatic straight white guy (who is also a foul mouthed, patriotic redneck, and also her abusive ex-boyfriend) could be put on the mission.”

    Bitch, everything and everybody you know and love was just vaporized, and you’re walking around the habitation complex counting up woke points? I had to check whether I had picked up a YA book by mistake.

    • UnCivilServant

      In a just story, the other colonists would have killed and eaten the narrator as useless.

    • Fatty Bolger

      What’s the name of the book?

      • Rhywun

        Yeah, who is it so I can avoid xer.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Retrograde by Peter Cawdron. Currently free through prime if you want to hate read it.

      • UnCivilServant

        That still gets him money, don’t do it.

      • Not Adahn

        But the money comes from Bezos, so…

      • UnCivilServant

        That’s not the point. I don’t want to reward creators of bad content.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Most modern science fiction is proggy crap.

    • Drake

      Newer sci-fi I pretty much have to stick to the military-sci-fi sub-genre to make it through. Otherwise the woke shit makes it impossible to plow through.

  79. Gustave Lytton

    Confession time. Someone, out of a boredom, fashioned a noose out of 550 cord in basic. It was a big no no, not because of racism, but because of suicide. Suicide watch unfortunately was not uncommon.

    Anyways, I thought the knot work looked nice and kept it. Hung it on a bulletin board for years as a reminder that whatever suckitude I thought I was currently experiencing always had an out. Ended up tossing in a downsizing move.

    So now you all know GL is an unrepentant racist.

    • Sensei

      Heck – the knot is essentially what I use to tie a piece of paracord to many of my pocketknives.

    • Lady Z

      It’s almost as if intent matters.

  80. Semi-Spartan Dad

    Just PSA- Rural King has Mossberg 500s in stock and at sale prices. Will ship to your local FFL for 12 bucks.

    • blighted_non_millenial

      28″ barrel. I haz disappoint.

      • Raven Nation

        Explanation for gun novices?

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        (to be clear, you can swap out the barrel, but with a relatively cheap gun like a mossberg 500, you could end up spending 1/4 to 1/3 the price of the gun to get a second barrel)

      • Raven Nation

        Ah, I see. So, a good barrel length for home defense = ?

      • leon

        I don’t know the rules for what qualifies as a Sawed off shotgun. I know anything short of 16 in for a Rifle is considered a “Short Barreled Rifle” and requires a special stamp from the ATF to own.

      • blighted_non_millenial

        Yeah, I’m not sure for a shotgun either, but I know 18.5″ is legal. You can also get into a weird space with “Firearms” (not a shortbarreled shotgun becuase reasons) because the NFA and ATF are stupid.

      • Don Escaped MLB

        back ’round Watergate, there was a minimum for the barrel and a minimum for overall

      • mindyourbusiness

        I think it’s gotta be 18 inches. Could be wrong on that.

      • Incentives Matter

        18.5″ is the shortest standard length for shotgun barrels in Canada. Weirdly, you can buy (or could, before the L’il ‘Rona) Canadian-made shotguns with barrels as short as 12″ which were still considered non-restricted under Canuck firearms law/regs. Never did look into the details of why that was the case, but like I said, doesn’t matter now ’cause they’re all gone.

        My local death merchant still has a Mossberg 500 .410ga in stock, though. The mixed reviews on it have given me pause.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Mine home defense shotgun has an 18.5″ barrel. My hunting shotgun has a 28″ like the linked mossberg.

      • Chipwooder

        Yeah, I have a Remington with an 18″ barrel

      • Raven Nation

        Thanks all.

      • blighted_non_millenial

        What SO Trasy said. Home defense / Security models come in 18.5 or 20″ and are a little handier than the longer barreled hunting guns. Very difficult to find them anywhere online except for auction sites where they get bid up a lot over normal retail/list.

      • R C Dean

        Yup. You want the shorter barrel for maneuverability/ speed on target.

        Just got back from picking up my Beretta 1301 from my local – 18.5 inch barrel. NIB, last one in inventory. Fucking NICS took an hour to clear, all on their end.

        Mag extended on the way, to bring it up to 7+1. Paid a premium for something that wasn’t cheap to begin with, but in these uncertain times, waddayagonnado?

      • Not Adahn

        Any reason you’re stopping at 7? In NY that’s the legal limit.

      • R C Dean

        Because a longer magazine would stick out past the end of the barrel.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        Yeah, it’s the all purpose field model. I wish they had the tactical model, but for $300 incl taxes/shipping, I went ahead and grabbed one. Already have a home defense shotgun, but I’m realizing I don’t have enough long arms.

      • Not Adahn

        I have no dedicated home defense guns. I have an EDC, a backup if the EDC breaks, and all the rest are various gaming guns. Having said that, I keep a light on the Shadow 2 when It’s not at the range and keep an extra magazine loaded with HSTs (and yes, the POI for those is the same as for the FMJs I practice with, I’ve checked.) I’m assuming that a few alphas with 0.2s splits will work just as well on a bad guy as on a paper target.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Me too. Wifey think one is enough. Except she wants a shottie for shooting clays.

  81. robc

    Okay, I will submit something if no one else will. Lack of a noon link isnt good.

      • UnCivilServant

        Sound off.

        Seconded. I hate that music.

      • BakedPenguin
      • BakedPenguin

        Oh, I listen to the above with the sound on. YMMV

      • Rhywun

        I was expecting this Budgie.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        Cool! Never seen that video before.

  82. Rebel Scum

    The ends justify the means, comrade.

    MARTHA MACCALLUM: People watch what you say in that video, that you now want to show legislation down people’s throats now that you have everyone’s attention and you’ve also said violence is sometimes necessary in these situations. What exactly is it that you hope to achieve through violence?

    HAWK NEWSOME: Wow, it’s interesting that you would pose that question like that because this country is built upon violence. What was the American Revolution, what’s our diplomacy across the globe? We go in and we blow up countries and we replace their leaders with leaders who we like. So for any American to accuse us of being violent is extremely hypocritical.

    […]

    MACCALLUM: The only reason why I posed that first question to you the way that I did is I watched you talking on a bunch of different interviews today and you said, “burn it down.” You said, “burn it down, it’s time.” That makes me think you want to burn it down.

    HAWK NEWSOME: I said If this country doesn’t give us what we want, then we will burn down the system and replace it. All right? And I could be speaking figuratively, I could be speaking literally. It’s a matter of interpretation. Let’s be very real and let’s observe the history of the 1960s. When black people were rioting, we have their highest growth and wealth, in property ownership. Think about the last few weeks. Since you started protesting there have been eight cops fired across the country. Remember you were telling us that there was Due Process?

    • leon

      And I could be speaking figuratively, I could be speaking literally. It’s a matter of interpretation

      I mean… You could tell us what you meant.

      • B.P.

        He doesn’t want to spoil the ending.

      • R C Dean

        Actually, its not a matter of interpretation, which is what the listener does.

        Its a matter of intent, which is what the speaker does.

    • B.P.

      “…because this country is built upon violence.”

      Well, sure. That’s usually how countries come together. It’s also how they’re preserved.

      I think this is supposed to be a smart take. It’s not.

      • leon

        Yup. The phrase that came to mind when i read that was “The left is not sending us their best”

      • Gender Traitor

        Are you quite sure that’s NOT their best?

  83. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

    The media are the enemy of the people, example 5450282:

    Journalo: Houston’s Medical Center hospital ICU completely full.

    Linked source: 100% of Base ICU beds are filled. Over 800 short-term and long-term surge ICU beds available.

    From the next article on the same site:

    The average ICU occupancy rate at the world’s largest medical center is 70 to 80 percent, but higher rates aren’t unheard of.

    “It is completely normal for us to have ICU capacities that run in the 80s and 90s,” Methodist Hospital CEO Dr. Marc Boom. “That’s how all hospitals operate.”

    • R C Dean

      Yup. That’s a normal capacity.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, yeah, empty beds cost money, so if you have too much slack space…

    • littleruttiger

      I used to not really get worked up one way or another, but I truly despise the media now.

    • Drake

      Just do like Murphy and Cuomo and toss some sick ones into the local nursing homes.

      • R C Dean

        Nursing homes are there to take patients who aren’t fully recovered from hospitals, you know. Refusal to take COVID patients in nursing homes is an excellent way to actually overwhelm hospital capacity. There’s a way to manage it so it doesn’t turn every nursing home into a morgue, though. Because we’ve been discharging to nursing homes since very early in this thing, and none of the nursing homes taking our patients have turned into hot spots, even though others have.

      • littleruttiger

        Without getting into all the details, would you say that the ones that have turned into hot spots have done so because of operator error, i.e. not following whatever protocols they should have? (I don’t know anything about this kind of thing)

      • R C Dean

        We don’t discharge until they are clear of the ‘Vid, is a big part of it. A fair number of patients can’t go home right away even after the ‘Vid clears.

        I think Cuomo ordered nursing homes to take patients with active infections, which was incredibly stupid, considering all the extra capacity that got airlifted in to NY that sat empty.

        We had to kick the nursing homes pretty hard to get them to take any patients who had had the ‘Vid. We settled on “if they’re clear, you are going to take them”. I believe our Department of Health Services had a role in resolving this.

      • littleruttiger

        That makes sense, thanks

  84. Donation Not Taxation

    Responding to: We’ve solved racism! Oh wait, never mind. We’ve just pandered a bit more. https://jezebel.com/jenny-slate-will-no-longer-portray-missy-on-big-mouth-1844157171

    June 24, 2020 ‘Kristen Bell leaves voice role of cartoon mixed race character because she’s white; blames her privilege’

    “This is a time to acknowledge our acts of complicity. Here is one of mine,” said Bell on Instagram. “Playing the character of Molly on Central Park shows a lack of awareness of my pervasive privilege. Casting a mixed race character with a white actress undermines the specificity of the mixed race and Black American experience. It was wrong and we, on the Central Park team, are pledging to make it right,” she continued. “I am happy to relinquish this role to someone who can give a much more accurate portrayal and I will commit to learning,” Bell concluded, “growing and doing my part for equality and inclusion.”

    • mikey

      “…and I will commit to learning,” Bell concluded, “growing and doing my part for equality and inclusion.”

      And she then pauses, beams proudly and awaits the applause and the awarding of her prize.

      • Incentives Matter

        And she then pauses, beams proudly and awaits the applause and the awarding of her prize.

        Heh. I used to like her, ’cause she always had the appearance of being somewhat more grounded than the typical Hollywood type. Too bad she was still acting when she appeared that way.

      • Toxteth O’Grady

        O God. At least her husband will always have been in Idiocracy, even if he had Ibram Kendi on his podcast the other day.

  85. Not Adahn

    In Madison, a roving gang of wypipo in true cinematic fashion distract a brave womyxn of color by shouting a racial epithet, spray her with lighter fluid and for the coup de grace, toss a lighter before melting away into the shadows of the darkened city.

    https://www.cityofmadison.com/police/newsroom/incidentreports/incident.cfm?id=26640

    In CHAZ: A roving gang of Proud Boys (or possibly the KKK, hard to tell) infiltrate past the guards, seize and overpower a proud mxn of color, pinning him to a car hood. They then stand over him and empty their glock’s clipazine, wounding him in the arm (but fortunately not damaging the car).

    https://nypost.com/2020/06/25/man-shot-inside-seattles-chop-claims-he-was-victim-of-hate-crime/

    • leon

      These Yankee States need to look at what is going on in their culture to promote so much white supremacy and hate.

    • Hyperion

      I’m taking ‘Things that didn’t happen’ for the Daily Double, Alex.

    • Hyperion

      “They then stand over him and empty their glock’s clipazine”

      We can never have enough Jussies.

    • Hyperion

      Also, you have to wonder where all the CHOP Superheroes were at the time? Maybe this brave warrior was one of them, but they used racist Kryptonite on their bullets?

  86. gbob

    Gesh. SP leaves us and all and now there’s no nooner.

    In other news, looks like another attempt to disrupt Twitter has launched. If you’re joining Parler, you can follow me @bobroland.

    • Hyperion

      I just posted a question about that upthread. I gave up when it was making me enter a phone number, not too sure about the wisdom of that.

      • Incentives Matter

        Get the cheapest burner phone you can find, and use that number if possible. Then keep the burner phone around in case they want to do some two-factor authentication.

    • Hyperion

      OFFS, you have to be kidding.

    • Sensei

      Do the taxpayers get a free tote bag for their pledges?

    • gbob

      I really was expecting this to be a Babylon Bee link.

    • Rhywun

      Tickets come with a 10% Indulgence Fee.

    • Tundra

      Huh. A buddy texted me that and I called him foul names.

      My bad.

      Still, go eat a bag of free range dicks, NHL.

      • Rhywun

        Blame Amazon.

      • Tundra

        Yeah? You think the micromanagers at the NHL didn’t have a say in that?

      • Rhywun

        Other than “yes” or “no” to Amazon’s decision, I can’t see why they would care.

    • bacon-magic

      *drops gloves and lights a tire fire*

  87. Incentives Matter

    This has probably been thought of before, but I think I’m gonna start calling my local death merchant “The Merchant of Menace.”

    • Jarflax

      Firearm sellers are not death merchants, they are purveyors of rediscovered childhood. Democrat politicans are death merchants.

      • Incentives Matter

        I’m speaking in Conventional Canuck™, of course.

    • Incentives Matter

      Other ideas (not for the death merchant):

         ● Two Gentlemen of the ‘Rona
         ● ‘Roneo and Juliet
         ● As You Licked It (you can damn well keep it)

      Anyone else wanna play? I’m bored.

      • Not Adahn

        If that last one isn’t already a porno, I’ll chip into the gofundme to make it happen.

    • Ayn Random Variation

      That’s on NR says it all