Black Bean Soup
1 lb. GOYA dried black beans
1/3 cu. olive oil
2 cu. onions, chopped fine
1 cu. celery, chopped fine
1 cu. green bell pepper, seeded and chopped
1 cu. tomato, seeded and chopped
1 Tbs. garlic, crushed, minced and salted
1 tps. dried basil
1 tsp. ground cumin
1 bay leaf
The best way to make soup from dried beans is to use two pots. Rapidly boiling the beans in a separate pot has several advantages. The main reason is that dried beans will not cook on low heat, and good soup needs to simmer slowly. It also saves time, and makes soaking the beans beforehand unnecessary. And if you find out your beans are too old and won’t cook, you won’t lose all of your other ingredients.
In a 4 qt pot, put the black beans, two quarts of water, and two teaspoons of salt, on high heat. Bring to a roiling boil.
In a 6 qt. pot, heat the olive oil over medium-low heat. Sofrito or trinity? Why not both? Add the onions, celery, green pepper, and tomato. Season heavily with salt and fresh ground black pepper. (If you would rather not cook raw tomato, add a 1/4 cu. GOYA tomato paste after adding the beans.) This is a saute, not a sweat. Listen and you should hear it sizzling. Don’t stir it too often. Go slow, but let the onions and peppers brown a bit.
Meanwhile, stir and check the beans. Continue a roiling boil, adding more water if necessary. You want to get them just soft enough to be edible, but not cooked all the way. That will happen later.
When the vegetables are cooked, the onions should be transparent and tomato should be almost paste. Add the garlic and saute for another minute. If the beans aren’t ready yet, turn the heat off the 6 qt. pot and let it sit.
When the beans are ready, pour them into the other pot. Add the basil, cumin, and a large bay leaf. Reduce the heat to low, stir, cover, and simmer for at least an hour. If you like, you can finish it with a bit of lime juice or cider vinegar.
This method works well for all kinds of bean soup. Let’s try split pea. Because who doesn’t love a mouthful of green peaness? Start the dried split peas in the salted water in the first pot. Instead of sofrito, we’ll use mirepoix in the second pot. Add two cups of onion, a cup of celery, a cup of carrots, and a couple of teaspoons of garlic, to the olive oil. Season heavily with salt and fresh ground black pepper. This time we are going to sweat, not saute. So when you listen, you should not hear it sizzling. After the split peas are broken up, and the onions are translucent, add the peas to the second pot. Then add a bay leaf and teaspoon of ground sage. Now that the peas have a head start, it should only take an hour or so to simmer.
How about lentil? Let’s use mirepoix again, with even more garlic. After you mix the lentils and vegetables together, add a half a cup of chopped parsley, a bay leaf, and two tablespoons of tomato paste. When it is done simmering, finish with a third of a cup basil chiffonade. Stack fresh basil leaves on top of each other, and roll them into a tight cylindrical shape. Then take a paring knife and slice perpendicular to the roll, so you get thin strips. Remove the soup from the heat, stir in the raw basil, and let it sit for five minutes.
Minestrone? Get five pots…
Bean, beans the musical fruit.
The more you eat , the more you toot.
The more you toot, the better you feel.
So eat more beans at every meal.
If the discomfort is caused by the beans, the relief is artificial.
I don’t like the black beans or lima beans.
I like green ones, red ones, white ones, the navy ones.
I guess I’m racist
Lima beans are only a thing because of butter and salt.
Succotash is great.
It’s responsible for a lot of suffering.
Butter on butterbeans? Where’s my fainting couch?
Butter.
Are you trying to take the joy out of my flatulence?
*sparks joy*
*and laughter*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FXHkFZ-nG4Y
Makes me think of this: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fYHEACE-v0k
Black refried beans matter!!!!!
But seriously, good recipes, good suggestions. My favorite bean for soup is the Cannellini, but that’s just me.
I put cannellini in minestrone, but I never made canellini soup. What else is in it?
Soup.
This guy knows.
There are many, many variations; as many as you want. Veggies, Italian sausage, and beans. Top with croutons, olive oil, and cheese.
For example parmesan, romano, Swiss,
Emmanteler etc. Or make a fish stew, adding the fish filet at the last so it isn’t overcooked. In short, the bean pairs well with a wide variety of recipes.
I like putting them in tabbouleh.
I’ve never thought of that. Now I want that for dinner. Which means I’ll have to go to the damn store.
what is a cu.? I am unfamiliar with this unit of measurement. Cubit?
cup, 8 fluid ounces
Aaaah, you mean a C, got it. Thanks for the boiling dried beans trick I have not heard of that one. I shall give it a try this weekend. I was craving red beans and rice and bought the ingredients yesterday. Your post comes at an opportune time. Thanks!
What kind of red beans? My favorite for rice and beans is Dominican red beans, which many call brown beans.
I have no idea. The bag said “Red Beans”. I don’t know their ethnicity. I will go look, stand by…….
No ethnicity explicitly stated on the bag, but the bag is labeled “Small Red beans” They are Walmart brand so who knows where they came from. I was just happy to get beans. That aisle was decimated for months.
OK, there was a rice and bean shortage here for a while too. I had plenty of canned beans, but no split peas.
Cup, probably.
But with the addition of the period, there’s no point in shortening it.
What about 2 cu.?
Who do you think I am, Ted S?
2 cup
2 cups one girl?
I have a weakness for Campbell’s Bean with Bacon soup.
Add sliced celery and even a sliced beef Frank.
Childhood comfort food.
I don’t get the Turning Point meme. Does that make me a loser?
No, that’s not what makes you a loser.
LOL
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1AYZsREgNnA
Aaaah, thanks.
Does this make it clearer?
It didn’t until that fucking Russians name showed up. Needs moar beans though.
ws–from what I know, it actually started as a Pete Butti….Bu…Beauty….Pete B. meme
https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/1735991-pete-buttigieg-shape-of-democracy-parodies
I think it just has a life of its own, now. Or, what’s left of a life.
A hot pan
Some finely diced bacon
Some finely diced garlic
A handful of green beans
2 dollops of Hoisin sauce
5 or 6 shakes of red pepper flakes
Salt
Pepper
Bliss
Now you’re talking my language! I have not made that in years.
Thinking about it, that is from an NPR cookbook early 2000’s? Some crazy chic bought it for me and it was the one recipe I made often. It is indeed good. I am buying green beans tomorrow.
I keep my bliss in a jar in the back of the cupboard. I only allow myself a teaspoon every now and then.
#ThotThursdayLivesMatter
http://archive.li/vCusI
#33 has Cuomo nipples.
Lol
Hmmm…I’ll just click on th-
Never mind
So, I thought I was going on hiatus for a while, but then I found something so incredible, I just had to share. Sorry for going OT.
Man crippled by polio spends over 60 years in an iron lung.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gplA6pq9cOs
Seems very relevant for us based on recent events and trends.
Oh, and I have a new satire idea too: Outrage as Math Textbooks Found to Contain Hundreds of Swastika-like Symbols.
Parents who want to skip the polio vaccine for their kids should watch that as they weigh pros and cons.
A lot of other associated problems out there as well. Legs and arms partially paralyzed, etc. We got Dr Salk at an appropriate time. Seems like we had an oral vaccine, early ’60s, got a little cup of cherry cough syrup and were saved again. Oral was the Sabin. Probably got it in the army
My mother was big on vaccines, get ’em all and often.
That poor man. That’s awful.
I finally found a pizza place within delivery distance which knows what the crust is supposed to be like, and that cheese is not an optional ingredient*. They did make a mistake though. I ordered and paid for a small, and they delivered a large.
*I exaggerate, but the other places seemed to be grudging with applying any cheese
What were the toppings?
(Yes, we are all judging.)
Half pepperoni/extra cheese half sausage/normal cheese. I was checking on their definition of normal versus extra cheese.
You put normal cheese on your pizza?
Well, different strokes, I guess.
Given how little I see on a lot of these pizzas when order (and paying for) “Extra” cheese, I need to see what tehy think is normal when testing a new pizza place.
I’ll go on record. For the twice a year I eat pizza, it’s meat lovers. Bacon, sausage, and ground beef.
Twice a year? Cretin.
Cretin you say?
GIVE ME PINEAPPLE OR GIVE ME DEATH!
You can have death.
LOL
Third on the death thing.
*fist bump*
Really, it’s not the pineapple. It’s the pineapple along with bacon, prosciutto, and chopped red onion, and drizzled with Marie Ploy’s sweet hot chili sauce. Such goodness…
GIVE ME ANCHOVIES OR GIVE ME DEATH!
You can have death too.
J. Geils would like a word.
The woofa goofa with the green teeth had something to say about anchovies?
I’LL HAVE WHAT HE’S HAVING!
A faked orgasm?
QUIET, YOU!
WAS NOT FAKED!
*shows Sean crusty Kleenex*
Juggler. Crusty Juggler.
*gags*
I’ll eat pineapple pizza if offered, but anchovy pizza belongs in a different trash can than mine.
I love anchovies and green onions enclosed in pizza dough. I can’t remember what it’s called in Italian, but it’s great.
My Italian is rusty, but I believe it is called ah-beepity-bop-ah.
The proper way to eat anchovies is with lots of garlic.
The proper way to eat anchovies is not to eat anchovies.
LIE!
YOU LIE!
YOU LIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzFw0BB1AJU
Best way to eat anchovies is when they’ve been consumed by another fish, with a hook and line attached.
[Mills Lane voice]
I’ll allow it.
“I don’t eat nothin’ salty, like an anchovy–that’s like eatin’ a eyebrow!”
“BREAKING: President Trump’s niece tells @maddow
that she’s heard Trump use anti-Semitic slurs and the N-word. ”
https://twitter.com/GeoffRBennett/status/1283895301582069762
Whatever.
*faints*
Well no shit, he’s a 70 sommat year old white dude from New York, of course he’s thrown “nigger’ and “Jew/heeb/hook nose” around. Also every pejorative for any race/creed/gender/nationality/ etc… you can think of, when he was coming up that was known as “humor”.
Interesting she had nothing to say about it in 2015.
“So, Mary….Your uncle–did he do this thing that we just know he did, but don’t have any solid proof of, and which you’ve made claims?”
“Yes. Yes, he did do this thing that we all know he did, yet, have no actual proof of. I mean, you can hear it in the way he uses words! He says words, but, he secretly intends for them to be applied to other situations! It’s all so obvious!”
Also, while the name “Donald Trump” certainly has a lot of baggage associated with it, I find “Mary Trump” sounds like a villain in a poorly-written crime novel.
East meets West.
Dad was from New Mexico so I got a large share of Pinto Beans growing up.
Mom was from Maine so I got a large share of Boston Baked Beans growing up.
There is a version of Pinto Beans that was recovered from Anasazi ruins. They, too, are wonderful.
Several years ago a group of tourists from Texas sued a restaurant in Santa Fe claiming “they served us moldy enchiladas and burned beans.” The restaurant owner replied, “Apparently they have never heard of blue corn tortillas or black beans.”
I love me some beans.
East meets West.
Two different colors on the map
Love the bean soup and split pea in the winter (or summer). Mrs Fourscore makes big pots, freezes it and lets me do the microwave work as required.
MN chili is a lot different from other styles, beans and hamburger or venison, hold the peppers, of any sort. UCS would love the MN chili, I’d wager.
She is using the peppers you brought but for her own Asian dishes. Thanks again, Hobbit.
I hate to say it to fellow Texans, but–that’s what you get for ordering Tex-Mex in Santa Fe.
/stop this froo-froo cooking shit
We used to hate Texans in Santa Fe SO much. They were the worst tourist in the 80s.
Probably thinking they’d get good Tex-Mex there…
😉
I make and eat a lot of beans, generally in Mexican fare so either pinto or black beans.
I also had not been soaking them before boiling mostly as an expedient. However, I recently read that if you do eat beans often you should soak them and discard the water because they do contain a substance (a toxin? I don’t remember) that isn’t good for you if you ingest it regularly but that substance does leech out if you soak the beans first. For this reason I would recommend soaking your beans before cooking them.
Once upon a time, some guys took a bunch of bacon and took a bunch of beans…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VL7XS_8qgXM
Exactly what I thought it was.
I read something similar but wasn’t convinced.
Anyway, if you soak black beans and discard the water you lose a lot of color.
I seem to remember it’s just kidney beans. Soaking leaches the toxins out, and I believe it’s degraded through boiling as well. But I’m just some guy on the internet, so do your own research.
Someone asked about the best sniper rifle. I think this is it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsSYngXbCc0
A silenced air rifle – no need to clean, very easy to make your own ammo
The range and power of a rifle, the simplicity and reliability of a bow.
Thomas Jefferson had one. If it’s good enough for the author of The Declaration of Independence, it’s good enough for me.
The one thing I worry about with air rifles is the composition of the gaskets and gas seals. With black/smokeless powder, small irregularities will not stop the bullet from going (see revolvers). But with an air rifle, any leaks and you could have an empty tank before you draw bead on your target. So what they used and how you take care of it becomes important.
That is a sick rifle.
Simplicity, though? Try detail-stripping a PCP air rifle and getting it back together again, sometime. It’ll be a fun experiment.
Is that an air rifle that shoots angel dust?
“It runs on COCAINE!”
Apparently, the range and power of a pistol… but accuracy of a rifle.
What is the effective range? I couldn’t tell from the video.
A friend was commenting about the Washington Redskins and I thought I’d share my reply with y’all.
‘Washington Shit-Brained Thieving Fucking Assholes Who Never Read The Constitution?’
We have a winner, folks!
Unfortunately it won’t fit on the jerseys.
Huh? Start at the cuff of the left sleeve and run up the sleeve, across the shoulders, then down to the cuff of the right sleeve. No problem!
SBTFAWNRTC!
Washington Wendigos
The wendigo is a cannibalistic monster from Native American folklore. It’s like a werewolf.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1kbfumvd_4
Or maybe the Washington Watchamacallits. That’s a great candy bar with a Native American sounding name.
Washington Wonks
Washington Wokes
Washington Willies
Washington Thinskins
Washington Rentseekers
Washington Chekists
If the naming can wait until Nov. 4th, they might want to become the Washington Lying Dog Faced Pony Soldiers.
Washington Tax Vultures
Winner.
my favorite nature video – mountain goat scales nearly vertical dam to lick up minerals
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RG9TMn1FJzc
Stupid humans, putting the salt way up here…
Heh. I watched that last week. It really is ass-cheeks clinching just watching that.
goat video that will lower your blood pressure
Are you kidding me?
*FAINTS*
I was expecting this:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=C9A0AxoleGA
How’d those humans know to put the salt for us way up here so we wouldn’t have to share it with all the other stupid animals?
Let’s ask a talking goat to find out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXdpIC2AtkY
You up for some beers sometime over the next two weeks, TJ? Just finished two months of no days off and finally got some time.
Sounds great. I’d really like to get out of the house and catch up – my “hanging out” skills are really rusty.
Shoot me a date if you still got the number.
That was crazy.
Brian Cox has the most soothing of the docu-egghead voices.
for no particular reason, a very powerful shredding device: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOaN865LNkg
Why, it could even chip wood, I think…
That looks really good Count.
*Tulip with binoculars in the bushes outside CP’s bathroom window*
You misspelled “kitchen”.
Commando Cooking with the Count.
I don’t do beans, so I can’t add much here. Sorry.
You’re the one who showed me the best place to stand.
Thanks 🙂
simple bamboo trap catches so much sea food
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6n95QvoM2DA
I gotta crush AND mince my garlic? Let’s add a few more verbs and really make cooking fun.
Yes, garlic needs to set up. I usually chop the ends off the cloves, crush it, peel off the skin, chop it, salt it, then crush it a few times with the side of the knife.
Now that is useful to me. I usually just mince it for my skeddy sauce.
Gotta smersh and salt the board.
Once again, I will take the opportunity to shamelessly promote a purveyor of fine bean soup mixes and other good food products, but mostly one of my favorite not-for-profit organizations. They hire women who have obstacles to employment because of past substance abuse, past incarceration, single parenthood, etc. and train them in multiple aspects of running a business – assembling the products, taking & fulfilling orders, and so on. Then they help them find permanent employment in the “real world.”
It’s good stuff. We use their Ten Bean Soup every year for our traditional New Year’s Day hopping john, and we’ve made their Firehouse Chili.
(And, of course, cue the “women’s ‘beans'” jokes in 3…2…1…)
I’ve bean trying to find 16-bean, but hasn’t bean at the store lately.
If you ever it make up here to Cleveland, there’s a fine dining restaurant, bakery, and butcher shop that are all set up for rehabilitation of ex-prisoners.
::fist bump::
That is also very cool.
If you like ramen,
https://youtu.be/ixZ-0bpvyo0
Er, udon
Looks cool, hell of a drive to try it out though.
I love that. I’m the only one in this family who likes beans, so I don’t buy them very often. I may get some from this outfit.
They also have cookie & cornbread mixes!
And popcorn and sweet biscuits with jam mix. I may have to get some of that for the girlfriend.
Although, I’m going to be drafted to help.
Black beans are horrible.
RACIST!!!
Racist!
What? All caps processes faster?
BLACK BEANS MATTER!
Everyone knows Almighty is just talking Truth. Don’t act all high ‘n’ mighty here.
the nightmare sound machine
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lTYPvArbGo
That didn’t sound a bit like AOC.
bolt turned into miniature hunting knife
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X1PQs0Yxauo
Sometimes you stumble into another group’s bubble and have to wonder how they ended up believing the stuff they believe. The comments to this are bizarre.
https://mobile.twitter.com/markknoller/status/1283855477059747841
Exhibit A:
https://mobile.twitter.com/stealthygeek/status/1283882437936848898
Not even with your mouse.
For a “geek” he is awfully stupid.
Geeks are often stupid.
Exhibit B:
https://mobile.twitter.com/sebastianbach/status/1283588822798790656?cxt=HGwWgMCryfnOnNAjAAAA
Lol, wut? Life on Skid Row must have been rougher on his mind than I thought.
Patrick S. Tomlinson
@stealthygeek
“Regulations are why both of those trucks have airbags, ABS brakes, back-up cameras, and don’t randomly burst into flames.”
I’ve about had it with the whole “government drives innovation” crowd. How could you possibly stupid and be so smarmy about it at the same time?
The smarmy and stupid create a feedback loop.
Must be. The stupider a Prog the more self-righteous and insufferable they behave on the mistaken assumption that they aren’t a total moron.
Also:
Terri Staying TF at Home Purple heartFolded handsWater waveWater waveWater wave
@TeresaShank5
Replying to
@markknoller
Because cutting regulations really helps the People…
And having the metric fuck-ton does, I take it? Couldn’t provide for your own safety? No wonder you’re staying TF home…
Just talk to a Flat Earther for a while.
Flat Earthers don’t contact my employer.
Well, there’s a whole segment of the population that genuinely believe that Jews are simultaneously the Illuminati and also Nazis and not really Jews because black people are the real Jews.
Flat Earthers at least have a rationale for their stupid beliefs.
Flat Earthers at least have a rationale for their stupid beliefs.
Hatred of convicts and kangaroos?
Lmao
He didn’t say it’s a good rationale.
And that is funny response Jarflax.
“And you get a helicopter ride! And you get a helicopter ride! And you get a helicopter ride! You’re all getting helicopter rides!”
You’re all getting helicopter rides; you aren’t getting all of the helicopter ride.
Pleasepleasepleaseplease make this happen…
Making a stone ax from scratch
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLoukoBs8TE
“We’ll be saying a big hello to all intelligent lifeforms everywhere and to everyone else out there, the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys.”
Guessing Milliways banter. Am I right?
Close enough. You may now push the button.
***
NARRATOR:
And so everything points to shoes as being the mysterious “somethings” or “whachamacallits” of which the bird people would not speak. And the curious fact is that the Shoe Shop Intensifier Ray mentioned mere seconds ago is, in actuality, a phoney – designed to make Dolmansaxlil Executives feel they’re doing something excitingly aggressive when, in fact, all they need to do is wait. The Shoe Event Horizon is now a firmly established and rather sad economic phenomenon, which in future times will be taught as part of the basic middle school “Life, the Universe, and Everything” syllabus. Here is a typical computer class from the Bratisvogan Megalycee Unidate 911VCK168:
Scene 6. Int. Classroom
COMPU-TEACH:
Good morning life-form.
PUPIL:
Hi teach.
COMPU-TEACH:
Are you sitting comfortably?
PUPIL:
Yes.
COMPU-TEACH:
Then stand up! Harsh Economic Truths, Class Seventeen. You are standing up?
PUPIL:
Yes.
COMPU-TEACH:
Good. Posit: you are living in an exciting, go-ahead civilisation. Where are you looking?
PUPIL:
Up.
COMPU-TEACH:
What do you see?
PUPIL:
The open sky. The stars. An infinite horizon.
COMPU-TEACH:
Correct! You may press the button.
PUPIL:
Thank you.
[Button is pressed. A surge of energy]
PUPIL:
Wow! That feels nice.
COMPU-TEACH:
Posit: you are living in a stagnant, declining civilisation. Where are you looking?
PUPIL:
Down.
COMPU-TEACH:
What do you see?
PUPIL:
My shoes.
COMPU-TEACH:
Correct! What do you do to cheer yourself up?
PUPIL:
Uhm… press the button?
COMPU-TEACH:
Incorrect! Think again. Your world is a depressing place; you are looking at your shoes. How do you cheer yourself up?
PUPIL:
I buy a new pair.
COMPU-TEACH:
Correct!
PUPIL:
Can I press the button?
COMPU-TEACH:
All right.
[Button is pressed. A surge of energy]
PUPIL:
Wa-ho! So nice.
COMPU-TEACH:
Now, imagine everyone does the same thing. What happens?
PUPIL:
Everyone feels nice?
COMPU-TEACH:
Ah, forget the button! Concentrate! Everyone buys new shoes. What happens?
PUPIL:
More shoes.
COMPU-TEACH:
And?
PUPIL:
More shoe shops.
COMPU-TEACH:
Correct.
PUPIL:
Can I – ?
COMPU-TEACH:
No, no.
PUPIL:
Oh-oooo.
COMPU-TEACH:
And in order to support all these extra shoe shops, what must happen?
PUPIL:
Everyone… must keep buying shoes.
COMPU-TEACH:
And how is that arranged?
PUPIL:
Manufacturers dictate more and more different fashions and make shoes so badly that they either hurt the feet or fall apart.
COMPU-TEACH:
So that?
PUPIL:
Everyone has to buy more shoes.
COMPU-TEACH:
Until?
PUPIL:
Until… everyone gets fed up with lousy, rotten shoes.
COMPU-TEACH:
And then what?
PUPIL:
Why can’t I press the button?
COMPU-TEACH:
And then what?! Come on!
PUPIL:
Massive capital investment by the manufacturers to try and make people buy the shoes.
COMPU-TEACH:
Which means?
PUPIL:
More shoe shops.
COMPU-TEACH:
And then we reach what point?
PUPIL:
The point where I press the button again.
COMPU-TEACH:
Oh, all right.
[Button is pressed. A surge of energy]
PUPIL:
Wa-hoo! Ahhhh… So nice, that’s really nice!
COMPU-TEACH:
And then we reach what point?!
PUPIL:
The Shoe Event Horizon! The whole economy overbalances; shoe shops outnumber every kind of shop! It becomes economically impossible to build anything other than shoe shops, and bingo, I get to press the button again!
[Button is pressed. Another surge of energy]
PUPIL:
Wooo!
COMPU-TEACH:
Wait for permission! Now, what’s the final stage?
PUPIL:
Umm. Every shop in the world ends up as a shoe shop.
COMPU-TEACH:
Full of?
PUPIL:
Shoes that no one can wear.
COMPU-TEACH:
Result.
PUPIL:
Famine, collapse, and ruin. Any survivors eventually evolve into… birds and never put their feet on the ground again.
COMPU-TEACH:
Excellent! End of Lesson. You may press the button.
[Button is pressed. A surge of energy]
PUPIL:
Woo-ha-ha! Yee-he-hehooo! Ah-ha. Oh, that’s nice. Thank you teach. Goodbye.
COMPU-TEACH:
Ah-ah! Aren’t you forgetting something?
PUPIL:
What?
COMPU-TEACH:
Press the other button.
PUPIL:
Oh, right.
[Other button is pressed. A big surge of energy]
COMPU-TEACH:
Oh-ho-ho! Ooooo, ooooo-waaahhh! Oooo-hooo-weee-ha-hah!!
NARRATOR:
And so forth. Meanwhile, at the Dolmansaxlil Base, the excitement is, of course, mounting.
***
You robbed me. The Frogstar world whatever bit never had that exchange.
Fella, I’ve been through the Total Perspective Vortex so many times I have frequent astral flier miles.
You don’t want to end up like me, do you?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QM0K4VODk8Q
You’re clever, but that bit wasn’t in Mostly Harmless.
What cartoon is that?
some rando made HHG videos; that’s all I know
Would you like some nasal fire?
my fav HHG video from him: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vA2vCG6WwQA
I want you all to know that I’m feeling rather depressed, what with terrible pain in all the diodes down my left side….
I’m a White Knight Supremacist.
A real SIMP-Lord eh?
Old Man Warty shows off, artist’s depiction
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uyM6Wyg0xPg
At the Beach today with the Daughter and her kids, having beers, enjoying the water, when all of a sudden I look downriver and see a Cop wading knee deep upriver,
“howdy Officer, what’s up today” “hot” says he “aqua shoes?” i ask, he replies, “nope just my running shoes” then he chats up the kids and off he goes. We have no BLM issues, we like our cops and they respect us, pretty cool for once,
Glad to hear your enjoying yourself, Y-man.
/and no dogs were shot
I do like a happy ending cop story
HEY YUFUS!
Hey Tres! and Straff! Heck Everybody! and I drank beer, in front of a cop,talking to him, on the the beach, and nothing else happened,
Just for the both of you:
Tall Cans in the Air!
FUCK YEAH!
/head bangs
The One!!!!!
/Bangs head with Tres!
I hear Goya canned b.b. soup is good. I can vouch for the Trader Joe’s tetra-pak version.
Get the low salt.
https://www.goya.com/en/products/reduced-sodium-black-bean-soup
Good advice with Cajun food too (Zatarain’s, Tony Chachere).
My mom used to make a ham and black bean soup whenever she had made a big ham dinner and had a huge ham bone to make stock. Heavenly. Sometimes she’d make split pea instead, which I also loved. She hasn’t made those in a long time.
I still love to make a pot of Pinto beans with a Ham hock, Bacon and some onion, Grandma’s recipe, hmmm, she would turn 100 this year
Put her to work.
Or… Just an idea here.
Get the recipe!
I never have the big ol ham bone, though
would you like to live on an island with 4,000 people about the size of 2 football fields?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G63TF6OMa_8
Not trying to be a dick but the first big storm rolls through and that place is toast!
Cool video though
Nope
So they have completely ruined the idea of living on an island.
Only if the other people are from Q’s pics.
I have a cat now. She was deemed too friendly to be left among the barn cats. There’s been a rash of horrific injuries suffered by the barn cats, obviously inflicted by raccoons/skunks/coyotes/ the fucking Great Pyrenees dogs who’ve been running wild around the farms thanks to some asshole. So she’s been brought into domesticity for her safety, because she’s a runty little possibly dwarf kitten and also a too-brave stupid cat. Stupid, dumb cat.
Kitteh!!! ???
She’s asleep, after an awful long evening of being a git.
Oh, them feets! ::melts::
She looks like trouble all right ?
Ferocious!
Kitteh with attitude! : )
Aw, the rare female orange kitty. She looks like a toe-biter.
Enjoy. I’ve taken in 5 strays over the years. No regrets.
Elon Matters,
https://behindtheblack.com/behind-the-black/essays-and-commentaries/ig-report-nasas-orion-is-a-program-of-lies/
NASA is hopeless and Lockheed Martin is solely interested in bleeding off tax dollars, whether or not they deliver a product is immaterial.
Both should be burned to the ground and the earth salted.
Has NASA really accomplished anything, other than one offs here and there, since Apollo 11? My gut says no. They could write a textbook on what not to do, using just their fuckups.
They’ve mastered scientism, thanks to James Hansen.
He certainly spent his career shatting all over that agency’s coasting reputation to promote his climate alarmism.
Manned? No.
Unmanned they have accumulated an impressive record over the years. Remote probes to the outer planets, long-term missions to Jupiter and Saturn (the latter including a landing on Titan). Impressive missions to Mars, including rovers.
So we haven’t gone back to the Moon. Big deal; been there, done that. The real interesting stuff is “out there”. Why is there a hexagon at the north pole of Saturn? Why is Uranus orbiting on its side?
NASA should leave the manned stuff to the private sector. But their unmanned stuff brings in a lot of bang for the buck.
/SLD
HEY–HIPAA is still in effect, you know…
I’m not saying it’s aliens….
I am really interested in finding out the cause of this, and how that cause happens. Even the mundane explanation will be interesting.
But but nothing of value has ever been produced without the help of government and their incestuous crony contractors!
Leave Elon alone! He Is African American after all,
roads made out of recycled plastic – maybe a good idea?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8WEDJVhTiIg
How much?
The video says plastic roads last 3x longer than asphalt. Plastic and asphalt both come from petroleum.
Some plastics are very resistant to freezing. The word plastic comes from the Greek word for mould, as in something flexible which hardens later.
I have one word for you:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dug-G9xVdVs
But how much does it cost? more? less? what’s the True ROI?
The answer to your question: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ag1o3koTLWM
***
Below are some of the advantages and disadvantages of plastic roads.
Advantages
In the proposed model by Volkerwessels, plastic roads can have hollow space built in to allow ease of wiring, connecting pipes, etc.[14]
Since plastics come with various chemical and physical properties, roads can be engineered to meet specific requirements (e.g. weather and wear resistance)
Plastic roads can be built from waste plastic — the majority of which is usually put into landfill, incinerated, or polluted into the environment. Land-filling and incinerating plastic are both problematic methods of managing plastic waste. Plastics in landfills can leak pollutants into the surrounding soil; incinerating creates gaseous pollutants, such as carbon dioxide.[11]
Plastic-bitumen composite roads need not be especially discriminating with the plastics used, thus increasing the reuse of plastic. Most plastic waste is not recycled because it is usually mixed with different types of plastic and non-plastic (e.g. paper labels) and, so far, the segregation process is labor-intensive with no easy solution.[11]
Using less asphalt saves on cost and resources. Asphalt concrete requires petroleum which is becoming more scarce.[6][21]
The addition of plastic in asphalt can reduce the viscosity of the mix. This allows a lower working temperature, which lowers VOC and CO emissions.[3]
Plastic-bitumen composite roads have better wear resistance than standard asphalt concrete roads. They do not absorb water, have better flexibility which results in less rutting and less need for repair. Road surfaces remain smooth, are lower maintenance, and absorb sound better.[22]
Disadvantages
Pure plastic roads require use of compatible plastics because, when melted, plastics of different types may phase-separate and cause structural weaknesses, which can lead to premature failure.[23]
Plastics in the road can break down into microplastics and can find their way into the soil and bodies of water. These microplastics can also absorb other pollutants.[24]
Every time maintenance is performed on these modular roads the flow of power, water, and internet that has been installed within will be interrupted.
***
Just a minor disadvantage.
Indeed, that’s a deal-breaker. Also, the way most utility networks work, it would be impractical to install them *in* the road, at least if it’s design the way it looks from the video. Outside of water/wastewater lines (which are buried beneath roads because generally the same entity – a city – owns both the roads and the utilities), most utilities only cross roads, they don’t run down them (mostly – there are exceptions, especially in high density areas).
Also, and I may be wrong on this since I’m no chemical engineer, but I believe that plastics and asphalts are made from different products from the petroleum refining process, so a mass increase in demand for plastic would result in a simultaneous increase in the cost of plastic and decrease in the cost of asphalt, negating any alleged cost benefits.
There’s a fad technique called microtrenching that places communications cables or ducts in shallow cuts in the street. Lots of easily foreseeable problems but the cheap upfront costs are more efficient than beer goggles.
Also, Comet!
https://www.space.com/comet-neowise-visible-evening-sky-july-2020.html
I tried to see it tonight but my choice of location was bad. The comet was slightly behind a tree line.
I’ll have to relocate for tomorrow. It’s not like I live in the desert where this stuff is easy.
as long as Spirit Mt. doesn’t interfere I should be good, maybe another hour os so,
world’s oldest female sharpshooter beats men
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dANsqfqwRXQ
+1 Annie Oakley putting 6 holes through the ace of spades before the cards hit the ground
+1 ciggie out of Kaiser prince mouth
Brazing Saddles: That uppity Uyghur hit me the head with a shovel.
What you did. It was seen.
I’m not sure what’s funnier: real Orson Welles or parody Orson Welles
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6i7ycxiog40
Damn it man!
Pretty confident Duckman and The Critic had the same or inspired animator(s). Come on, that’s eerie.
A quick search doesn’t show any overlap between the two.
“What the hell are you lookin’ at?”
Okay, so I’ve had a day off or two!
No, I’m wrong. There’s no semblance except they’re both animated. It’s just that Duckman is something I know, and it’s animated, and the reference you made is animated, and so I made the connection in the desperate hope that I could connect something I know with something brought up in conversation. I was hoping to be conversationally relevant, but I must admit, I was wrong.
Duckman can be connected with almost anything.
/notices that it’s not streaming anywhere
/contemplates hooking up the external HD that has every episode
But were they frozen?
[Nelson laugh]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6P2JWGTMybU
The truth comes out!
No holes in that theory.
It all hangs together.
I’m gonna go watch a Godzilla movie to regain some sanity.
Is he Nation of Islam? Because that has NOI conspiracy theory written all over it. And people in the replies are actually defending his clear break with objective reality. Beyond parody.
19
What’s Kosar got to do with anything?
The number 19 is very important to the Nation of Islam. It has something to do with the mothership. The Nation of Islam is not really Islam. The closest I can come to an anology for their beliefs is if you took a splinter Mormon cult, crossed it with Scientology, added in a David Koresh type prophet, and then made all the members join the Klan.
I had a friend who used to buy me issues of the Final Call. It is great stuff.
Yeah. A local sports talk guy (Mike Trivisonno) did a whole bit about it back in the day. Including all the audio from Farrakhan’s speeches. And then tied it back to the glory days (that the audience lived through) of the Cleveland Browns.
I’m well aware that NOI is as close to Islam as Jim Jones is to Christianity.
Double checked. Yes, NOI is in his bio. Farrakhan is a cancer.
I wonder why we never hear from adherents to “mainstream” Islam in the US expressing disapproval of the use of the term Nation of Islam.
(I don’t mean that in a snarky way. I really am surprised)
Maybe they’ve already had it out, and have settled with each other? Maybe there’s something symbiotic going on that overrides the contentions?
I guess the white devil man’s tricknology made this too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TlZgiK6FiO0
Look–never mind that shit!
White guys have a store, all to ourselves….where we can buy silicone body suits???
Where? Where is this store? Is it online? My current silicone body suit is on its last legs (natch), and I could really use a new one. But, I don’t want to shop….well, you know what I mean.
Undercover Brother is a documentary I guess: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lfUlATBIer8
http://archive.li/GiFZu/8a48f8a5e7d6ce3eb75f0080f65683503f1d57e2.jpg
NSFW.
http://archive.li/Px9h6/0462d8e61c6412a765a22573d3b9ccc2a0bc7ce4.jpg
NSFW.
http://archive.li/gd8H9/be1944921ddc29ca301196b159ebda5f44ce350e.jpg
NSFW.
http://archive.li/MyD3E/701aa329688cdbf6e1ec5d88ea75bd1cb99f468c.jpg
NSFW.
That’s how you get rock herpes.
Your jealousy is unbecoming
Water Nymph for the win!
I see an opportunity for Steve Smith
The thought of an army of STEVE SMITH clones descending on our government “leaders” of all levels makes me smile.
Portland is in the Pac NW–the Cascadia region….where there is supposed to be a LOT of sasquatch activity.
Maybe, you know, it’s time to free STEVE SMITH? Let him get biz-zay? https://youtu.be/Pf0NYhS6x_M
USAF does a tune up on Santa’s sleigh: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UuYIbYVLF4k
Uhm, quarter speed is still over mach 2 so I’m not sure what we are supposed to see.
I posted this at the tail end of the afternoon lynx, but it’s too damn hilarious and well done not to again. I like the casting of Joe Biden, too damn perfect.
https://youtu.be/5k3TwzTtCG0
That….that ain’t bad.
That was pretty damn good.
that was good
https://www.theblaze.com/news/louisiana-man-allegedly-runs-his-car-into-officer-who-told-him-to-wear-a-mask-in-walmart
But….he DID leave.
This is why it is a bad idea to have employees enforce mask mandates. Glad the officer was okay, glad a Walmart employee wasn’t on the receiving end of the car.
While taxonomically similar to the Florida Man, the lesser-known Lousiana Man can be distinguished by it unintelligible vocalizations and penchant for spelling “Go” as “Geaux”. The two most common subspecies are Budroeux and Thibodaux.
You like to see homos naked?
I’m gonna let me my pal Gatemouth tell it like it is
https://youtu.be/cham8tHrqrU
(Ok, the new story is from West Monroe. Close enough for Ouachita work.)
That’s Duck Dynasty territory. I wonder if what they think about that enforcement shit.
OK, I don’t. Not really. But, it’s a fairly interesting thought exercise.
My wife and I shop at that Walmart when the Baby Walmarts don’t have what we need.
“He’s much like any other 17-year-old nerdy boy: stays up way too late gaming, hates showering, and eats too much junk food,”
Let me get this straight (ahem): So, there ARE “boy” behaviors?
By the look of mom and dad, I’m guessing they influenced this decision.
SD, gender is a construct except when it’s not. Get with the program you hateful shitlord.
“It is, when WE say it is…not you.”
Ahh–I see how it is in their family.
My favorite comment: The Unmasked Racist.
https://twitchy.com/brettt-3136/2020/07/16/now-thats-privilege-nick-cannon-will-keep-his-gig-on-the-masked-singer-after-apologizing-for-anti-semitic-comments/
“I’m sorry, Jews….?”
That’s how it sounded to me.
So…how was everyone’s day?
Not bad. I appeared in court for the first time since March and beat back a bullshit motion by the opposition’s attorney. It felt good.
How was your’s?
Sounds like a good day, glad things are getting back to normal-ish for you.
My day was okay. I grew a zit, I blame the mask. But on the plus side, the mask covered the zit.
Lol
#CircleOfLife
I had to drop a bill for a replacement smart watch, which will, in all likelihood, be a refurb. All for a cracked screen that couldn’t be replaced.
That sucks. I have a nano that needs a button fixed. When I looked into getting it fixed, I thought would be able to send it in and they would fix it. But they keep yours and send you a refurb. I know where my nano has been, I don’t want someone else’s.
There must be some independent place who will fix (or try to) and return your iPod.
I’ve seen places that do some stuff for digital doo-dads. But, when you get a protection plan through your provider on cellular stuff, you tend to just use them.
For mp3 players, et al, I get the impression the time and cost make it easier to just go get another one, or, deal with what you have.
A few weeks ago I turned on my iPod to find that all the content had disappeared. As it stopped syncing with iTunes years ago I finally got to do the upgrade I had wanted to do for some time. I threw it out. I will do my best to never own another Apple product as long as I can avoid them.
Trying to adjust to the life in LA. Managed to shop at Costco without putting a face mask on even for a second for the first time since April.
Yay for small victories. How long will you stay in LA?
About 4 weeks.
Fixed my faulty front door latch, then went to work and had an unusually busy day (but crushed it and felt like a champ). Got off and ran about 4 miles; my goal was 5 but I had to come home early to take a crap. Currently eating a post-run meal of keema aloo with a Rhinegeist Cougar lager. After that, probably gonna crawl into bed next to the ladyfriend and read some Seneca before zonking out for the night.
Tonight’s room temperature challenge.
https://youtu.be/5_l-fVxU8e4
I hope guard sunk his presumed bonus into a new pistol and/or ammo. That misfire, or, whatever he had to clear….I’d have been pissed once things calm down.
I’ll bet you the price of a cold beer that the guard’s malfunction was caused by his somewhat muffed draw. His support hand interfered with the slide cycling, or something like that.
Dude was ’bout it, though. His technique might have been a little rusty, but his instincts were spot on, and he stayed remarkably calm.
Another racist white gun nut shoots an [assumed] POC just trying to steal a loaf of bread for his family? I guess we’d better wreck downtown in solidarity with the deceased.
Aaaaaand, we’re back!
Nice! May have to try that.
My usual lentil soup is made by doing the following:
Saute mirepoix, garlic, and one anchovy fillet in olive oil. When vegetables are soft, pour in some stock (chicken, ham, or pork). Add a can of tomatoes and a splash of white wine (for my 10-quart crock pot, I usually put in one standard “glass”). Pour in the lentils and some cubed ham. Season with salt, pepper, rosemary, and oregano. Serve with some hard Italian cheese grated over the top and crusty bread on the side.
https://mobile.twitter.com/TheFirstonTV/status/1283859458267983872
It’s dusty in here.
I’m just here to spoil the moment.
Good vid, that actually brought tears to my eyes and I’m a selfish and cold-hearted prick.
Aaargh! Wifey lost another fish tank yesterday. We had a brief power outage and while she reset the pumps she forgot to reset the heater. Fish soup. we lost a fifteen year old Gourami and some tiger barbs. She wasn’t too upset though because those were all asshole fish that were in a separate tank for a reason. The gourami went Stalin on our Angel Fish. We had a breeding population but could never quite get the timing right before the parents cannibalized the offspring. Tiger barbs are cuntes. When we lost our big goldfish because of a structural tank failure she actually cried.
To lose one fish is a misfortune, but to lose an entire tank looks like carelessness.
Sorry for your loss, Fishtus.
One fish’s life lost is a tragedy. A million dead fish is merely a statistic.
In other words, she’s working on it. 🙂
A witty remarque.
I find fish fascinating, and I love watching them in acquaria, but I’m prone to power cuts here and I worry anyway that I’d screw it up somehow, even with a backup.
You have to stay on top of it. It all started with a tall vase for bamboo and some feeder fish to swim amongst the roots. It snowballed from there. My idea. I am indeed the dumbest Glib.
I like the classic blender-repurposed-as-fish-bowl. Keeps them on their toes.
So you took the caraffe for my blender.
Ah, but you have to have it on the base for best fear factor. And at least make it look as if it’s plugged in. Otherwise the fish get complacent.
I always dug the old-timey TV repurposed as a fish tank.
I’d think using tannerite wouldn’t be considered sporting.
That sucks, sorry. The folks had a 50 gallon aquarium when I was growing up and weird as it is to say, I grew attached to a few of those fish. Especially one the asshole fish. It was a Jack Dempsey fish and much like your fellas, was very aggressive and tended to kill off anything half its size or smaller if it missed a feeding or two. Beautiful to look at though.
I’m sorry about your fishies, Fes. So you have multiple aquariums? I bet those make great CatTV.
Thanks, GT. We had four going at one time. The largest is still in play, 120 gallons, the second biggest was dealt a death blow by Kamikoizi spitting pebbles at the glass in their bid to escape. This one is only 50 gallons and will be repurposed or if I have my way, relegated to the landfill. Wifey is a frog hopping between lily pads of hobbies. This is why I can never have nice things. Our home is chaos. If any of the Autists here walked through the front door they would retreat to the corner and self-stim… She has interests and lets me drink. I’m fairly sanguine.
Wow! They can really spit pebbles hard enough to damage the glass? Underwater? That would take some powerful mouth muscles, I would think!
Does wifey knit? Yarn is much lower maintenance than living critters, and at least you’d always have socks. (Eventually – socks ain’t easy. You might have to suffer through lots of scarves and ugly sweaters before she advanced to that level.)
She does everything. Mother, Wife, Grandma, reliable employee, Mentor, horse training, her own photography and framing side gig, knitting, crochet, drawing and painting, gardening, fly-tying, a reliable shoulder to cry on for her single friends, numerous good works in the community that are thankless tasks and best of all she puts up with my bullshit. I’m the retard that got all of the cake. Plus she’s my best friend too.
I’m tired just reading about everything she does. I’ll have what she’s having.
She’s a dynamo. Being on furlough for three months nearly drove both of us a little bat-shit. I have my own regimen and we kept bumping up against each other in the day-to-day routine. She’s back at work (mostly) so it’s a little better now.
I have socks. Many, many socks.
Fixed it for you.
It was pretty stinky…
I applaud this company for cashing in on the hysteria:
https://www.zerohedge.com/technology/paranoid-travelers-are-buying-these-hazmat-suits-planes
If things go wrong and you have to throw on an oxygen mask you’re fucked though.
I’m okay with them taking that risk.
Good luck getting a good seal with that thing, what with it being worn over clothes and all. Shave your body hair and wear it under your shirt or GTFO.
It says it works because of positive airflow out. It is not supposed to seal. So if you have the Vid you could probably infect a far greater number of fellow passengers than by wearing just a mask. Win win!
https://twitter.com/i/events/1283956251374714880
13th Zodiac sign.
Filed under “news”.
?
Nobody needs twelve different choices of Zodiac sign.
I’m waiting for Not Adahn to weigh in.
It’s sad, Whenever I answer the phone these days I’m expecting to hear “Welcome to Webex, You are the first person to join the meeting, please stand by.”
We lost our landline connection somehow about a year ago. I don’t miss it.
I’ve been using my work-issued cell phone for these meetings.
I occassionally get spam calls.
Once in a blue moon I get a work related call from a human.
It helps that about six people have my smart phone #. Shitty thing is that whenever my supervisor calls it will be bad news.
I think a similar number of people have my work cell number – but my desk phone is forwarded for the duration of WFH.
LOL.
Romani?
All of the baby birds have fledged and they are visiting our feeders. It’s pretty neat! Tiny versions of the adults and very noisy and boisterous.
Did anyone here feel as stupid and underedjumacated as I did after reading Not Adhan’s article yesterday and the comments therein? Maybe philosophy is best left to the philosophers. I’m well-read but I don’t do that deep dish dive into the “Why”. Makes my brain burn.
https://twitter.com/PossumEveryHour
Sure, why not?
https://twitter.com/PossumEveryHour/status/1283899245838376964
Missing a monocle. #fail
Why possums?
/shrug
why not?