Friday Evening Animals on the Run Links

by | Jul 17, 2020 | Daily Links, Fun | 241 comments

About The Author

SP

SP

I've got an idea! How about we just stick to the Constitution as written and then the government can leave me the fuck alone.

241 Comments

  1. TARDIS

    Is the cow reporting for burger duty?

    • TARDIS

      Also, that’s a lovely pooch.

      • cyto

        I’ll have “Things you should never say to a woman for $500” Alex….

    • Aloysious

      I thought cows wanted us to eat more chikken.

  2. kinnath

    Thanks for the critter links tonight.

  3. blackjack

    This seems obligatory.

    • kinnath

      more fox

      • blackjack

        then there’s this.

      • kinnath

        More Fish!

      • Grumbletarian

        Better fox.

      • Chafed

        Well played

      • Gdragon

        Everywhere a fox!

    • Dry_Gin_Wet_Farts

      Thanks for that. I had the 45 when I was 10. Nudged me closer to the hard rock I fell in love with.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Crazy how they all look like they’re pushing 40 in that video.

  4. littleruttiger

    I had a pet magpie as a kid, if I ever move out to the country and have the time I’d like to raise a raven, they’re super smart

      • blackjack

        Greatest bird song ever!

      • Gender Traitor

        Sweet, but I thought this was the greatest bird song ever. ; )

      • Chafed

        I figured that or Freebird.

      • blackjack

        Freebird’s great, but nobody listens to it anymore, because it’s too popular.

    • Trigger Hippie

      Ravens are awesome. Possibly my favorite animal, right up there with orcas. The most intelligent ravens supposedly have the problem solving skills equivalent to that of a six or seven year old child, like this one:

      https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Gui3IswQ0DI

      I think this cllip was part of the PBS special A Murder of Crows. Check it out if you can. The generational learning they are capable of in particular is impressive.

      • Jarflax

        *thinks back to some of the ideas the 6 year old came up with.
        *Abandons any plan to have a Raven.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Heh. If they had opposable thumbs ravens and crows would have conquered us long before Charlton Heston was even a gleam in his daddy’s eye.

    • hayeksplosives

      Ravens are fun. All Corvids are pretty clever. I half tamed a Jackdaw in college in Stockholm. They take to it well.

    • kinnath

      Be sure to scroll down to:

      ever feel like someone’s watching you

  5. straffinrun

    “Honey, could you go loot the convenience store down the street and grab me a Scooby snack”

    “Fine” *Thinks to self – Lazy Bitch*

    “You no root my store!”

    “Psst, I found another way in”

    “Baah, that looks like sheer madness”

    *Sharpens claws, narrows gaze*

    And now we have racism nevermore

  6. Sean

    Rooftop iguanas are the best iguanas.

  7. SP

    I’m assuming you all ignored the actual links.

    • Ted S.

      I saw there were links there.

    • kinnath

      I checked them all

      I enjoyed Raven in the Snow

      • SP

        In my former life, I knew Bill quite well. Great musician in many genres.

      • PudPaisley

        Bill lives close to me in La Crosse and plays around here all the time. He’s good friends with one of my friends, so got to see him play an intimate show at their house. He’s a very nice, humble guy.

        I have a really good recording I made last December with Bill and my buddy Cheech doing an acoustic show trading off songs. I’ll have to send you a youtube link when I get it put up. It was a very good show. Here’s a sample. I’m gonna put up the whole show together with Bill’s stories included.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rWfvmtxm7Ws

      • SP

        That’s fantastic! Thanks, Pud.

    • blackjack

      You seem to know us very well.

    • Gustave Lytton

      There were links?

    • Sean

      I resent the implication!
      Or something.

    • banginglc1

      What’s a link?

      • Sean

        The main character in Zelda?

      • Jarflax

        A tubular patty?

    • TARDIS

      Did not! *sticks tongue out*

    • Chafed

      I admit it. I didn’t realize the pictures are links.

      That sheep owner is a dunce. If you have pets then stay home on July 4th. You can’t know if your pet is going to get spooked.

  8. straffinrun

    A baby leopard escaped from its enclosure at a South Carolina zoo, prompting guests to be temporarily moved to indoor areas, city officials said.

    Could’ve just made everybody wear a mask instead.

    • blackjack

      He was spotted outside of his enclosure?

    • DenverJ

      Wouldn’t it have been more efficient to just move the baby leopard inside?

  9. straffinrun

    Police and firefighters were summoned to a home in Colorado where witnesses reported a highly unusual sight: an iguana perched on the roof.

    Is there a new breed of killer iguanas I don’t know about?

    • blackjack

      They got ’em in Florida, I hear.

      • cyto

        The cold killed off the big ones several years back. When I moved in to my house in 2005 we had several that were 5 feet long hanging out on the dock. Ugly SOB’s when they get that big. But kinda cool in a prehistoric way. Except for the huge poops they take.

        We are starting to see big ones again – most are not quite that big yet, but some are getting close.

        When we have cold weather they just shut down, so you’ll see them dropping out of trees all over the place.

      • Chafed

        The stories about that last winter amazed me. That seems like a bad evolutionary trait.

  10. Jarflax

    Nevermore shall the Raven alt text.

    • Pi Guy

      Dreary. 12 AM.

    • Derpetologist

      ^sound at 2:25 mark

    • Timeloose

      That is tremendous. I had my wife mad at me for an entire night after showing the did put on a ice flow and in various flood waters.

      • Timeloose

        Dog not did

    • Crusty Juggler

      God HM

    • Chafed

      How often do the cops raid your home based on your browser history?

  11. Gender Traitor

    Wonder Dog needs an otter buddy!

    • Jarflax

      But not a volcano otter!

    • Ted S.

      Jesse has a sad.

    • I'm Here To Help

      We have an otter that lives in the pond behind our house. I don’t think I want to know what would happen to our dogs if they ever came face to face with him – he’s a grumpy old sod…

      • R C Dean

        They’ll drown a dog if they get to them in the water.

  12. westernsloper

    I have driven through Olathe KS and I don’t blame that dog a bit for leaving.

    • Trigger Hippie

      ‘Colton Michael said family members returned to their home in Lawson, Mo.’

      I spent a good chunk of my youth living just six miles away from Lawson, Mo…

      This dog clearly suffered recent brain damage or was born fucking retarded.

    • SP

      We nearly moved to Olathe, and I stayed there both directions on my trip. It’s kinda depressing. Although I like KC itself. (I have relatives there for the last 50 years.)

    • Crusty Juggler

      WARNING

      This link DOES NOT feature Megan Fox jumping into white Canadian rapper Snow.

      • Jarflax

        Samantha and a pile of coke?

      • Ted S.

        A licky boom boom down.

    • Crusty Juggler

      Bennie Sisko is my ride or die.

  13. OBJ FRANKELSON

    Speaking of critters, I currently find my self awash with kittehs. Two we have had for years, two we inherited from my late in-laws and a kitten that one of daughters brought home from a home where the fuzball wasn’t veing cared for well. All of them are female. The cat politics are… Interesting.

    • cyto

      Maybe allrecipies.com has something that might help?

      • R C Dean

        There’s good eatin’ on a cat.

    • hayeksplosives

      My sister is now stuck with 3 dogs of her choosing plus 3 cats. She has two adult children now at home thanks to Covid cancellation of college on-campus life.

      She is fortunate to have some room. This must be very difficult for other families suddenly living together due to at-home work or study, or to loss of livelihood.

      But how will they vote??

  14. DenverJ

    Governor of Colorado issued state wide mask mandate yesterday. I am furious.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Because he should have done it sooner? Why did he wait for grandma to die?

      • DenverJ

        Because it kills .05 percent of people. And I don’t even like those people.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Sorry DJ. Just yanking your chain. Gov Kunt did it here last week.

      • Jarflax

        It kills a fraction of a percent in the short term. In the long term literally every single person who gets the Covids will DIE!

      • hayeksplosives

        Name: every person born alive.

        Cause of death: being born.

    • Crusty Juggler

      Welcome to the party, pal.

    • kinnath

      In contrast:

      Gov. Reynolds announced a new proclamation during her Friday press conference that addresses concerns about students and staff returning to schools this fall. It also states that in-person learning is the preferred method of instruction.

      First, it directs all state agencies, school districts and local governments to focus on being able to safely welcome back students and teachers to school in-person this fall. Gov. Reynolds said schools and families would have some remote learning options but that more than half of all learning must be in-person.

      • Chafed

        Gaultier Newsom just went in the opposite direction. I will be ranting about it in GlibFit.

    • westernsloper

      Ya, that pissed me off a bit off as well. I have to play the game at work because I can’t find another job right now, but the statewide mandate was a bit over the line. I got barked at by a convenience store Karen first thing this morning. It made me a lot madder than I thought it would. Like anger I had when I was young and could not control my anger. I knew it might happen so I was prepared but I was surprised at my internal reaction. I looked at her, pulled my neck buff up went to get a protein drink out of the cooler, thought about it, put the drink back and walked out of the store. I am not sure if it was the mandate or the joy the behind the counter Karen took in telling every construction worker walking in at 6 am to put a mask on or don’t come in. I will not enter that store again as long as I live. Ya, I can hold a grudge. On the way home I went to the liquor store and having been friendly with the girls that work there I masked up before entering so I didn’t have to make them yell at me. I asked if they were telling everyone to wear a mask. They said no of course not. People can choose to comply or not. That brought a bit of a relief to me. It is not like the law is going to enforce the Gov’s mandate over here. As far as I know all the sheriffs in the closest three counties said they will not participate in enforcing any of this.

    • Chipping Pioneer

      The city passed a mandatory mask bylaw this week. I have not worn a mask. The magic words are “I am in an exempt group”.

      Identity politics FTW!

      • DrOtto

        Went into my formerly favorite sub shop and had this exchange.
        Clerk: where’s your mask?
        Me: Medical exemption
        Clerk: then you probably shouldn’t be outside
        Me: I’ve got to work. I’ve also got to eat, but guess it won’t be here anymore.

    • hayeksplosives

      Damn. Efficient.

    • Ted S.

      Makes me want to watch The Hellstrom Chronicle again.

  15. Gustave Lytton

    I love Saul Bass’ graphic design, particularly his corporate logos (fuck those assholes who have ditched or “updated” them) but good lord he cannot direct a movie. Phase IV is a awful mess.

    • Chafed

      Who?

      /Not trying to be provocative. I’ve never heard of the guy.

      • Gender Traitor

        I only really know of him because one of his films, Why Man Creates, was a staple of classrooms when I was in elementary and high school. I was always particularly fond of this bit. Last I checked, you still had to pay an arm and a leg to buy a copy of the whole film on DVD, dammit.

  16. Trigger Hippie

    Hmm,…I think I’m too dehydrated to be commenting right now. Must have sweated out at least five pounds, maybe more today, and my urine is almost orange…I’m fucking up quotes, missing easy reference points…I’ve misspelled at least three words just typing this…time to drink a gallon of water over the next couple hours and call it a day.

    Have fun, all. I’m out.

    • Ted S.

      Hawt.

      • cyto

        Yeah… there probably is a web site for that. Sad.

    • Crusty Juggler

      Obviously a secret police force patrolling the streets and sweeping people away isn’t a good thing, but it’s less worse than saying a white girl yelling “use your words” to defend her “friend.”

      • Gustave Lytton

        NLG = commie ran National Lawyers Guild

    • R C Dean

      Yeah, I’m thinking we are looking at the early stages of a serious societal breakdown. Not irretrievable, yet, but I’m thinking things are getting beyond what our current government can handle. So, more repression on the way, likely. Possibly, unless the leftists run the table, local “militias” becoming a necessity(?). So, I spent some time today thinking about what that might look like, and looking at body armor.

      • cyto

        Yeah, really weird that there are so many municiple governments actively trying to screw over their own people to make a political point. and even more odd… the people seem to be bending over and taking it.

        How in the world the mayors of Seattle and Portland have not been run out of town on a rail is beyond me. And nobody in Chicago seems all that upset about the murder rate.

        Then again, they made Cuomo a rock star for killing 20k old folks. So yeah.. strange times.

      • Crusty Juggler

        “So yeah.. strange times.”

        It really is. And it’s going going to result in not a “white flight” but a “I’m a fairly sane person flight” from cities.

        Does anyone think a Nixonian authoritarian push will happen soon? That worries me too, but at that point its law and order vs…lawless disorder?

        Freedom loses is what I mean.

      • cyto

        They clearly believe that the chaos of destruction will lead to the erasure of capitalism ant the rise of a socialist state.

      • Gustave Lytton

        The large majority of Portland is culturally left and deplores Republicans in general and Trump (really whatever Republican is currently the Emmanuel Goldstein) in particular. And large chunks of that group are sympathetic to the protesters’ stated goals. You only have to look at the politicians that the city and region have been electing for the past twenty years (more, but competence level has dropped precipitously).

      • Chafed

        GL the local populace is still supporting the mayor even with the violence, property damage, and looting?

      • peachy rex

        I think there’s plenty of vexation most places, and rising fast – it just doesn’t get any play in 95% of the national media, which is absolutely determined to pretend that there’s no violenca4, at least not from the left.

      • Gustave Lytton

        If the Fedgov starts posturing against antifa, all those running their mouths & video on Twitter might be a little regretful.

    • hayeksplosives

      For all rodents, the outermost facing incisors are yellow orange and are harder than the tooth matter facing the inside of the mouth. That’s how they keep them sharp by gnawing: it wears away the white weaker part faster, leaving a nice sharp outer layer.

      Rabbits don’t have this; they are lagamorphs, not rodents.

    • cyto

      Two weeks ago I learned that a weeks old beaver carcass is much larger than you’d expect, and stinks like hell.

      This is what my time hiking in Peterson Park near Duluth/Superior taught me.

      • hayeksplosives

        Best way to get a nice clean skull (if you are into that) is to put the carcass in a metal cage so larger predators can’t get it, and leave it on the ground outside (away from buildings).

        Beetles and ants will pick it clean, sun will bleach it. Way faster and less nasty than boiling.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        yup

      • pistoffnick

        *Notices hayeksplosives collection of cleaned, bleached human skulls*

        *Runs away screaming*

    • blackjack

      What about the British beavers?

      • DenverJ

        Well, I kinda like Emma Watson…

      • Chafed

        I’ll take Elizabeth Hurley.

      • Don Escaped Texas

        Beckinsale

      • Chafed

        Another excellent choice.

    • hayeksplosives

      I love the Jake from State Farm gif reply.

    • Gustave Lytton

      I needed black beans today so the Goya went in the cart. Albertsons must be Trumpistas because it was on sale.

    • cyto

      Even better – the responses! They have bought in to the idea that it is all a scheme to make money by endorsing a product.

      People really are insane.

      • cyto

        On the same page:

        A photo of a whole bunch of people collected on a makeshift boat.

        “Here are folks escaping a free education and universal healthcare for the horrors of capitalism”

      • C. Anacreon

        In the comments everyone seems to think it’s the funniest meme they ever saw. They wouldn’t know something actually clever and funny if their lives depended on it.

  17. Crusty Juggler

    Man gives himself ‘car crash’ penis injury with ‘vigorous’ 5am hotel sex session

    An unlucky fella broke his penis while “trying to go harder” in a 5am hotel sex session – before a doctor said his twisted todger looked like it had been in a “car accident”.

    Stomach-churning photos show the mutilated member being stitched up by medics in Lagos, Nigeria.

    Sharing the grisly images, the surgeon who repaired the wrecked willy said: “Men have been experiencing unpleasant trauma while trying to go harder during coitus with their women.

    “I even had a patient with such injury last weekend. Some injuries may be mild while some had to undergo surgical procedure to rectify the damages caused.

    “It was forceful bending of the penis during vaginal intercourse.

    “It also happens with a sharp blow to the erect penis during a fall, car accident, traumatic masturbation, or other mishap.”

    My advice: save up and buy a doll or two.

    Sally Jessy will never evilly encourage you to vigorously thrust her. She is a fragile gal who likes a gentle needling.

    • Ted S.

      Thankfully we have HIPAA here to prevent pictures of your broken penis from being made public.

    • commodious spittoon

      Patrice was right in this, as was he in all things.

    • commodious spittoon

      She is a fragile gal who likes a gentle needling.

      Careful, my bones.

  18. Derpetologist

    complaint dept

    I got a text saying I would get another text which I need to pass along. That text was to big for my old flip phone to handle. So I texted someone to text the first guy who emailed the message to the 2nd person I called who then emailed it to me. Then I had to read it, find the main points and send out my own message.

    Smoke signals would have been more efficient.

    [Kif sigh]

    • Don Escaped Texas

      * replies to all *

      • Derpetologist

        [Darth Vader NO!]

  19. hayeksplosives

    I was a hired Karen today.

    HR called to let me know that one of my direct reports was not wearing his mask today. They wanted me to talk to him.

    So I called. “Hey, dude. It’s me. A little birdie told me you were without mask today.”

    Him: “Wow, already? I forgot to put it in when I left my office for the restroom. A guy stopped me and took my name.”

    Me: “no problem, it’s easy to forget. Just stuff an extra in your pocket.”

    Him: “I’m sorry …(yada yada…)

    Me: “you know how I feel about the masks. The less said, the better.”

    • Crusty Juggler

      ” A guy stopped me and took my name.”

      jfc

      I run a “social distance and wear your mask” office and it seems to work out.

      • hayeksplosives

        I advised my guy that if that happened again, he should also take the Karen’s name.

        That is just for my future reference file of “dudes not to let work on my projects.”

      • Gustave Lytton

        Would be a shame if your guy said his name was “Seymour Butts”.

      • Derpetologist

        It’s the plumbus thing, isn’t it? That was a quality parody.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Nope. Never seen Rick and Morty.

      • Derpetologist

        I always wondered about the name of that song. Thanks.

        For me, it’s always been “generic upbeat 1950s factory music”

  20. Tres Cool

    Yo- Im faded af yo.
    If ya’all feel blues-y: get on my level

    That shit so blue I may be purple.

    • Tulip

      Come join us on the chat!

  21. Crusty Juggler

    Baneposting Is Proof That Not Even Christopher Nolan Can Control How Audiences React to a Movie

    This is an article about how audiences interpret or misinterpret a director who tries to challenge them.

    What the article is really about is that there are a shitload of boring dorks who ruin everything, including America as we knew it only one year ago.

    Juggalos without a purpose.

    I hereby announce my life’s goal is to become a Juggalo where at least life makes sense.

    • pistoffnick

      I have been trying to make my life make sense since at least 1973.

  22. Derpetologist

    this seems impossible – electric current from stationary coils of wire and stationary magnets

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T52cEofR8WI

    Even inductance would require some initial current.

    This is legit though:

    ***
    Researchers at MIT have shown that it’s possible to wirelessly power a 60-watt lightbulb sitting about two meters away from a power source. Using a remarkably simple setup–basically consisting of two metal coils–they have demonstrated, for the first time, that it is feasible to efficiently send that much power over such a distance. The experiment paves the way for wirelessly charging batteries in laptops, mobile phones, and music players, as well as cutting the electric cords on household appliances, says Marin Soljačić, professor of physics at MIT, who led the team with physics professor John Joannopoulos.
    ***

  23. Derpetologist

    wind-powered walking sculptures

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LewVEF2B_pM

    sorry if all the links are a bother – just trying to keep busy until I’m start feeling sleepy

    • kinnath

      I enjoy these creations.

    • Derpetologist

      “until I’m start feeling sleepy”

      so I guess the grammar part of my brain decided to call it a night

    • Tulip

      I love these kinds of things

  24. Not an Economist

    Woohoo!!! I saw Comet NEOWISE

    First with a pair of binoculars and then — maybe — with the naked eye. And from a suburb no less.

    • dbleagle

      We are so south here it has been hard to get nice views of NEOWISE. I have caught it a couple of times. It is a decent binocular comet.

      For the northern Glibs (in NA or Europe) NEOWISE is almost circumpolar so you can catch it most of the night.

      • SP

        We are going to drive up to the mountains and look tomorrow night. May or may not take the telescope.

  25. Gustave Lytton

    https://www.opb.org/news/article/oregon-aclu-federal-law-enforcement-portland-police-lawsuit/

    Missing from the article, or any other news stories: pictures of how these freelance “journalists” were dressed. In Hong Kong, press wear reflective yellow safety vests with “press” or “media” emblazoned so they actually stand out. In Portland, the “professional” establishment media wears street clothes (and gone are the days when a reporter wore a suit while working) and the freelancers dress in black and protective gear like antifa with barely distinguishable lettering. The freelancers deliberately place themselves so that the police can’t distinguish them from the rest of antifa, actively screen and cover for the criminal acts of others, and other acts to aid and abet the criminals. Yet if they get touched, they do a flop worthy of the World Cup.

  26. Derpetologist

    home made body armor – stops rounds from Desert Eagle

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uj1cm8WUGfg

    construction: 1/4 inch thick unhardened steel plate, rubber mat, and Flex Seal.

    Civil War ironclads used similar armor.

    Weight for a plate like that is 47 kg/m^2, so probably weighs around 25 pounds.

    • commodious spittoon

      These people act like we’re made of corrugated cardboard and exacto knives, but some of us are balls deep in unused electric coin sorters. When’s someone gonna show me how to repurpose one of these extraneous coin sorters as a garbage disposal or a weed wacker?

      • commodious spittoon

        I replied to the wrong one.

    • IntraveneousWoodChipper

      Nightmare fuel.

    • Chafed

      I’d like to sleep tonight.

      • Hyperion

        WTF? It’s Friday night, why would anyone want to sleep?

    • salted earth

      Hi Derpy, has this headline been done? Small Midwest Town Bans Dancing to Stop the Spread of COVID

      • Derpetologist

        Trouble in River City?

        I haven’t seen that one before. The reference is a bit too obscure for a general audience, I guess.

        It’s a solid concept though. Maybe spin to something like CDC Links Dancing to Suddenly Breaking Into Song.

      • salted earth

        Footloose with Kevin Bacon

    • Gustave Lytton

      There’s a similar version where you drill a hole from the top and from the side so they intersect at a right angle. Has the same chimney effect.

    • Hyperion

      Herding dogs like Border Collies and Aussies are more smarter than your average dog. I had an Aussie and the dog was uncanny intelligent compared to any other dog I’ve ever had.

      • Gustave Lytton

        My mini Aussie pretends not to understand 1022 words when it suits her.

      • Hyperion

        My Aussie used to pretend to have not herded my neighbors cattle and terrorized his chicken house while I was gone to the store for 30 minutes. He’d be lying there right on my front porch door mat right by the door where I told him to stay while I was gone, looking all innocent.

        And then my neighbor would come up there and say ‘That silver and black devil of yours was down here again trying to eat my chickens!’. And I’d say ‘Trust me, if he wanted to eat your chickens, they’d be eaten, he was just playing’. And then ‘You’d better keep him up there, I’m going to shoot him next time!’.

  27. Hyperion

    Furball Friday!

  28. Hyperion

    I don’t do naps, but man am I ever burnt out. After my last 3.5 hour Zoom meeting today, I drank a couple of beers and went to lie on the bed and relax a little. Just woke up, 5 hours later.

    • Don Escaped Texas

      it’s good to relax to give over to what you need some times

  29. Gustave Lytton

    Keeps getting better

    https://www.oregonlive.com/news/2020/07/portland-braces-for-51st-night-of-protests-amid-continued-presence-of-federal-officers.html

    As Friday night protests got underway, Oregon Attorney General Ellen Rosenblum announced that she intended to sue the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, U.S. Marshals Service, U.S. Customs and Border Protection and the Federal Protection Service in federal court. Rosenblum said the state’s suit will allege the federal agencies seized and detained Oregonians without probable cause.

    Rosenblum also said the state would launch a criminal investigation into the shooting by federal officers of Donavan La Bella in the face with a less-lethal munition Saturday, critically injuring him.

    Funny how state officials weren’t demanding that the feds give up when Malhuer was occupied. Funny how Rosenblum didn’t publicly announce a criminal investigation when state troopers murdered Lavoy Finicum.

    This intergovernmental conflict is exciting. Maybe democrat controlled states can secede to form a confederation.

    ? ? ?

    • Hyperion

      What we’re going to see over the next couple of years is a mass exodus of all these democrat controlled cities. If the Democrats can get all three branches of government this fall, which their polls are saying is a 100% sure thing, anyone living there will not be able to leave, by executive order, because of Coronvirus, which will no longer exist. And then, civil war.

    • Chafed

      GL I know metro Oregon areas have voted Team Blue for 20+ years but do they still like what their pols are doing? I would guess at some point the violence, property destruction, and looting would turn off the local citizens.

      • Hyperion

        They don’t have full on communism yet, so how can anyone be happy? Commie utopia is the only thing that ever makes anyone happy, or else.

      • Creosote Achilles

        They seem to be. I’m in the PDX area. And the folks that live in Portland proper are deep blue. Though I think patience is wearing thin from the downtown business types. It’s not yet worn through. It’ shard to describe to people from sane parts of the country how retarded the people here are.

      • SP

        I have a close friend of 20+ years who was Portland born and raised. No having a rational, non-political discussion with him the last three years, even though we share a technical/artistic discipline. I miss him.

      • Hyperion

        I have a co-worker who lives in Portlandia. Actually outside of Portlandia. One day we were working together and I said something about the show ‘Portlandia’, after a brief pause, he said ‘There are actually people like that here!’. I said ‘Really? I didn’t think that was true’.

        But it’s like this, there are the sane lefty leaning guys like him there, and then there are the ‘Cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs’ people, who make up the majority.

        The entire West Coast is lost, just give it to China and then nuke it.

      • Chafed

        Thanks CA. That is genuinely astonishing to me. I would have thought by now people would be clamoring for some peace and quiet.

      • Gustave Lytton

        We’ll see. Portland Business Alliance has steadily accepted and embraced taxation, government growth, and generally the entire leftist agenda.

      • Gustave Lytton

        The electorate is voting in ever more insane leftist types. I’d say they largely do.

      • Gustave Lytton

        To clarify, before it was standard [Democrat] politicians (ones climbing the greasy pole, make a buck, or massaging their ego). It’s shifted to room temperature retarded and true believers.

      • JD is in the United Karendom

        They’re probably in huge denial about it, though. Trump is this great totem of evil on which all blame must be placed, and therefore the only solution is to vote for more blue.

    • salted earth

      A bunch of (probably, mostly) young people want to go out on a Friday night in July. Bars, clubs, restaurants, and events/concerts are all closed what should they do 😉

      • Hyperion

        Riot and loot, of course, 100% government approved.

      • salted earth

        They should take over a parking lot, put up some speakers, and dance. I wonder how fast that would be shut down?

      • Hyperion

        As long as they have antifa and BLM signs and occasionally loot a business, they’ll be fine. Just having fun? Totally forbidden.

      • Chafed

        Footloose: The Instruction Manual.

    • SP

      Saw that in my mail today. I think (?) Fordham is Jesuit, so it’s disappointing they are so anti- critical-thinking.

    • Gustave Lytton

      How the fuck does a school’s code of conduct even apply to non-school venues such as social media? Yes, I know the answer.

      rising senior

      And I’m out.

  30. Hyperion

    I love all of you Glibs who are burning the midnight oil.

    Wife and I are looking at houses to buy. 11 months until lease is up and I really do not want to buy out any of that, but you can never start to soon. Who knows what the market will look like this time next year, I don’t even have a guess. I think we’re looking at 2 properties this weekend, neither of which have any chance of still being for sale next year, but at least it’s something to do.

    • JD is in the United Karendom

      *burns midday oil*

      Apparently the property market is “booming” here with city folks (mostly Londoners) desperate to escape the urban hell they’ve been voting for, or realising they’ve been able to work effectively from home the whole time.

      • JD is in the United Karendom

        Well, it’s all the evil Tories fault, or something, and the countryside is just a place where they come to ride their expensive race bikes and talk obnoxiously loud about how fucking fantastic and interesting they are so everyone else can hear them.

      • Festus' Mustache
      • Festus' Mustache

        I use “chundered” all of the time now.

      • Ted S.

        It’s all Thatcher’s fault, even though she’s been out of office for 30 years, and dead for almost a decade.

      • Festus' Mustache

        I blame the People’s Princess.

  31. Scruffy Nerfherder

    It’s too damn hot already.

    • Cy

      Has life gotten back to normal where we all just bitch about the weather?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I wish.

      • Festus' Mustache

        It might get to 72 degrees American here tomorrow. Freckles abound!

      • Festus' Mustache

        I’m like 7/8 Scottish but this weather is ridiculous.

      • Gender Traitor

        It’s already 70 degrees ‘Murican in SW Ohio, with a predicted high of 94. Getting my back porch time in before it gets too sweltering.

      • Festus' Mustache

        What kind of shoes are you wearing? (asking for a friend)

      • Gender Traitor
      • UnCivilServant

        Why do I not believe you?

      • Festus' Mustache

        I just came n my pants a little. Nothing sexier than a woman with well-turned heels in flats.

  32. Festus' Mustache

    I’m like 7/8 Scottish but this weather is ridiculous.

    • Festus' Mustache

      Yeah, fuck a duck. *grumbles and mumbles*