Hey Buddy, Stop doing that!

by | Jul 28, 2020 | Art, Comic, Fun, Pastimes, Satire | 288 comments

The Powers That Be have been begging me to submit some content (at least that’s how I take the repeated references to a lack of articles) so I went through my slush file. I have a hand full of crosswords/acrostic ideas but I think I’m done with those, the crosswords are too much work and you people can’t grasp acrostics. I also found a file for my “libertarian hero or complete asshole” series but I think I jumped the shark with the inaugural offering, no one is a bigger asshole than Matt Dillon. Then I found some old storyboards from when I was messing around with animation. The project turned out to be far beyond my abilities or attention span but I thought I could turn those storyboards into a comic series easily enough, so that’s what you’re getting.*

 

Introducing…

trash talk this art haters

 

*Also I figure that I since I gave shit constructive criticisms to BP, MOJO, CPRM, UCS and any one else who dared put forth their creative output here that I should at least give them a chance to return the favor.

About The Author

The Hyperbole

The Hyperbole

The Hyperbole can beat any of you chumps at Earthshaker! the greatest pinball machine of all time.

288 Comments

  1. Brett L

    I’m a little upset that you used my average day as your first comic! J/k, cool stuff.

    • The Hyperbole

      Thanks, I had no control over the scheduling, you’ll have to complain to SP about that.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        you’ll have to complain to SP about that

        And risk those rusty can lids.

        No thanks.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        True fact: SP and OMWC are delightful people who are wonderful to have dinner with.

        SP is very nice, just like Mrs. Hobbit. OMWC is a curmudgeon, just like me. We had a wonderful evening together and look forward to a visit in the future.

      • Brett L

        I’ve dined with SP and WebDominatrix, but have yet to meet OMWC in the (rice paper) flesh.

      • R C Dean

        Can confirm. TPTB are surprisingly functional in social situations.

      • slumbrew

        surprisingly functional in social situations would be my online dating title if I were still single.

      • UnCivilServant

        I politely asked for a particular time slot when I submitted “Prince Errant” and they obliged.

      • Brett L

        Every day is Groundhog Day now.

  2. Sean

    That’s how they screw ya, with the to be continued episodes. Makes you tune in again the following week.

    • UnCivilServant

      I just figured he lost the plot.

    • The Hyperbole

      Following week may be a bit optimistic, took me ten years to make this first one.

      • Sean

        How can you sell advertising slots without a schedule?

        You’re doing this all wrong. ?

        I think this strip needs a talking car. Or a talking stuffed animal.

      • The Hyperbole

        If you want to you can pretend they are all stuffed animals, or muppets. I didn’t intend it but after the fact as I reviewed it the second guy (the one that asks Jack what the problem is) reminded me of Rufus’s avatar and now I think of him as Rufus even though canonically he doesn’t have a name.

  3. Spudalicious

    That was funny. Keep them coming!

    • straffinrun

      This. Gripping story line.

      • Ted S.

        More like a clenching story line.

      • Mojeaux

        There was a bit of that.

  4. Mojeaux

    Dude, it’s NOT needlepoint. It’s COUNTED CROSS STITCH. I hate needlepoint. /grumble

    So, what’s he doing? Not lifting with his legs? Does he need lumbar support? Did I get it right?

    • Ted S.

      He’s bending over so STEVE SMITH can rape him.

      • Mojeaux

        Too obvious.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Whistling

    • TARDIS

      Butt crack.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Both

      • TARDIS

        OMG. He’s getting a rim job !

      • TARDIS

        From a dude….

    • hayeksplosives

      I like both needlepoint and cross stitch. They serve different purposes as therapy and as decor.

      I have a needlepoint stretched into a standing articulated frame for when I’m in the mood. I will finish it eventually but it takes a while (every bit gets stitched; no canvas or matrix shows).

      Cross stitch can be done much more quickly depending on design. And it has some brain calming appeal: 3over, 4 down with this color. Then 4 over 2 down with the next, etc.

      • Mojeaux

        I honestly don’t like the look of needlepoint. That might be because of early over-exposure to plastic canvas Kleenex boxes.

        I like other types of specialized embroidery (especially goldwork and tufted couching), but needlepoint is so not my cuppa.

  5. DEG

    I like how we can’t see what the guy is doing.

  6. straffinrun

    Part 2 includes the climax?

    • Sensei

      OT: How do you deal with a traditional breakfast? I don’t mind all the dishes, but first thing in the morning I want western style.

      And we are excluding the natto! I’ve yet to acquire that taste.

      Ideal Japanese Breakfast

      • straffinrun

        Good way to start the day. Always gives me a shot of energy. Usually, I’m a bread and coffee guy.

      • Mojeaux

        I noped out at “kelp”. I had a Japanese roommate and she cooked kelp. ?

      • Sensei

        Konbu? That’s a basic building block for lots of the cuisine. It gives umami to lots of dishes.

      • Count Potato

        That is a lot of work. Also, that dashi stock must be very salty.

      • Sensei

        For the miso soup? Similar saltiness to many western chicken or beef based soups.

      • Tejicano

        Most foreigners don’t do traditional Japanese breakfast very well. I’m one of them.

        My theory is that Japanese breakfast isn’t really much different from any other meal of the day whereas in the West a breakfast menu is mostly different from what we eat the rest of the day. Also, first thing in the morning a westerner doesn’t want to get hit with “different”.

        It’s not so bad if you’re like Straff and usually don’t eat much for breakfast. Just skip most/everything on the plates and get your coffee and toast.

      • Sensei

        Glad to know I’m not alone. Like I said individually, excluding the natto, no issues. But no appeal at breakfast time.

      • Tejicano

        I couldn’t even guess how many times I’ve been to a traditional Japanese breakfast with other foreigners – some on their first time in Japan, some still in their “honeymoon phase”, and others long term residents. It is rare when a foreigner is even OK with that fare. Most long term residents like me have figured out our “go to” items from that spread but I gave up a long time ago on the idea of trying to eat everything they put in front of me.

      • Gustave Lytton

        i draw the line at natto. Umeboshi meh.

        Shiozake, berkshire sausage links, youtiao, and coffee with cream. Rice maybe.

      • Tejicano

        Natto will never be on my menu any time of the day. It isn’t even the smell. It looks like mouse turds in snot and I’m not putting that in my mouth. Heck, I don’t even want to step in it.

        I’ve told Japanese what Natto looks like to me and they always reply “But it’s good for you” as if nothing else in on my plate or in the kitchen is good for you.

        I’ll eat the broiled fish with some rice. Better still if it’s salmon. Maybe some cold boiled spinach. Plain toast if they have it and black coffee.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I guess I should walk that bit a little. I have and will eat the dried natto packets that JAL hands out. Those aren’t too bad.

        Watching someone stir up their natto in a cup… ugh…

    • The Hyperbole

      I have it planned as a five part series (with the climax coming in the pen-pen ultimate panel) but I only worked out two storyboards so that may change.

      • straffinrun

        Hoping we get a Sixth Sense twist at the end. “I’m ready to tell you my secret.”

  7. Sean

    Not a single one of them are wearing their masks.

    • Spudalicious

      Virus deniers. How racist.

      • Ted S.

        I FUCKING LOVE VIRUS!

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        I can let him know, when I head over to the Discord, if you like.

        Also–it’s “Vhyrus”

      • commodious spittoon

        FAMILY LOVE VIRUS

  8. Fourscore

    Hyperion put together a pretty cool strip. CNN

    What? Hyperbole? Looks like shit FoxNews

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      15 seconds in and I’m laughing my ass off! will report back when finished…….

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      That guy is Pretty good, might buy me some Electrolytes……

    • DEG

      I love it.

  9. Yusef drives a Kia

    “Also I figure that I since I gave shit constructive criticisms to BP, MOJO, CPRM, UCS and any one else who dared put forth their creative output here that I should at least give them a chance to return the favor.”
    My stuff is in the Pipeline, BP needs to step up with SNP!

    • mock-star

      I too really miss SNP. And Woke Charmed.

      • Sean

        “And Woke Charmed.”

        #metoo

      • Chafed

        Me three. Why did SNP leave us?

      • Chafed

        Wait a minute. It was Mythical Libertarian Woman wasn’t it?

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        Yes, and she hangs out at the Glib Discord. With Vhyrus*.

        *not with him; he’s simply there, as well.

      • Chafed

        Why has she forsaken us?

      • slumbrew

        We don’t even need her to wade into the hive of scum and villiany that is the comments, we just need the recaps.

        Perhaps she had to stop – too many saving throws vs. sanity.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        I have no idea on the ‘why’ of her move, or, if it’s even a permanent situation. Most of them said they liked the immediacy of feedback, since you see/hear when new comments come in (the feedback is faster). I can only presume that’s true for her, but I don’t know. Only know that she is there.

        I will be happy to let her know her recaps are sorely missed over here.

  10. westernsloper

    I don’t get it. And what is an acrostics?

    • westernsloper

      And what is CWAA?

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Christ, What An Asshole.

        Seems to refer to a large number of American politicians.

      • The Hyperbole

        Cross Words And Acrostics.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Cumin With Anise Aspic

      • Tejicano

        I thought it was Caucasian With Asian-American

  11. DEG

    OT: Government doing what it does best

    A gym owner in Florida was arrested for failing to enforce his county’s mask mandate.

    He was told to close the gym when someone reported customers were not made to wear masks.

    When he refused, he was arrested.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I bought a quality mask, and I cant breathe through it, I have COPD, not an issue if I don’t push myself too hard, a mask would drop me in about 3 minutes,
      I Will Not Comply

      • straffinrun

        Gotta wear one for 6 hours today. ?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I was short of breathe after 90 seconds or so, moved it around, no joy,
        I’m done with them

    • The Hyperbole

      That’s actually on topic.

    • mrfamous

      “He was told to close the gym when someone reported customers were not made to wear masks.”

      Imagine going through life as _this_ person

      • Rhywun

        Just show them commercials with dancing doctors. That should placate everyone.

  12. straffinrun

    Need moar fapping puns.

  13. The Bearded Hobbit

    So, this is kind of cool for the Atomic City to be considering. This state has gone nutso about “carbon-free” electricity which means a huge jump in power prices. Neighborhood nukes sounds just about right.

    • one true athena

      I can hear the unhinged screaming in Santa Fe from here. lol

  14. LJW

    Anyone know where I can find American WWI records. I’ve searched everywhere and can’t even find what unit my great grandfather served in. Meanwhile I was able to find so much info on a distant German relative that I was able to pinpoint his locations during WWI on Google maps. The Bavarians were great record keepers.

    • Mojeaux

      Dumb question: Have you gone over to the Liberty Memorial to see if they can help?

      • LJW

        I haven’t, I need to. Been talking about going for a while.

    • Urthona

      ancenstry.com will let you look through some old records

      • LJW

        They don’t have much on WWI. Apparently a lot of the records were lost in a fire.

    • cyto

      My grandfather served in WWI. One of the few photos of him from his youth was his service photo. He had those legging shin-wrap things and everything. Trench warfare across Europe. He died when I was fairly young, so I never had the chance to grill him for war stories. That is a real loss.

      They were dirt poor, so that was his only chance to travel anywhere at all in his life – and he gets to go to France and have mustard gas fired at him.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        those legging shin-wrap things

        Puttees. Also called winingas, wickelb-

        What?

  15. hayeksplosives

    I had trouble reading the smaller print on my phone, but when I zoomed in on the pic I copied to my phone, all the white had turned black so I still couldn’t read it.

    Sigh.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Sometimes restarting the browser fixes it, sometimes…..

    • Tres Cool

      All the white had become black……#BLM has finally won

    • cyto

      Funny, it did the same thing in Chrome on my laptop – I zoomed the page but the image stayed the same. So i opened the PNG in another tab. It turned black except for a handful of speech bubbles. Weird.

    • Rhywun

      I had similar issues because my browser is in “dark mode”. Switched it to “light mode” and the colors were fixed. The PNG image probably has backgrounds set to “transparent” which shouldn’t be.

  16. Yusef drives a Kia

    Little Tim is calling for an old school Social media Website for like minded individuals, sounds familiar…………..

  17. Count Potato

    “The @AP snapped a photo of @JoeBiden’s notes today: “Kamala Harris— Do Not Hold Grudges, Canpaigned With Me And Jill, Talented, Great Help To Campaign, Great Respect For Her.” The same day @Politico published then retracted a piece on Biden naming her VP.”

    https://twitter.com/JerryDunleavy/status/1288271974716903425

    • Urthona

      Hmmmmm…..

    • Tejicano

      Yeah, but that was at 10:30. By noon he had misplaced that note and even forgotten he had written anything down.

    • Urthona

      Hmmmmmm

    • Urthona

      The only ones he could’ve picked where there’s more negative material are Rice or Warren.

      • leon

        Except neither Rice nor Warren accused Biden of being a Racist on national television.

      • Urthona

        The funny thing also is her accusation was just dumb. And I don’t even like Biden.

      • Rhywun

        I don’t think any of that is an issue. They are expected to talk shit about each other at the debates. And it’s not like Biden’s choice is going to stop any Democrat from voting for him.

    • Digby and the Wonder Llama

      Methinks that guy is full of sith.

  18. Heroic Mulatto

    PROTIP: The guy is jacking off.

    • TARDIS

      Jerk and Jack (multiple times). That’s too obvious.

  19. cyto

    Tonight it was ABC evening news for the news. They had a story about the resurgence of the virus, which may be making a comeback in the northeast as well.

    “Experts are blaming what they are calling ‘Super Spreader Events.'”

    They ran video from these events as they described them. A concert in New York. A large outdoor church event in Texas.

    You know what they didn’t show?

    You do know, don’t you. I don’t even have to point it out. You knew that’s where I was headed from the start, didn’t you?

    Yeah…. not a syllable about all the protests.

    Clearly, going to church outside is a super-spreader event. Because, as we all know, being in an outdoor group for 2 hours is way, way, way more likely to spread the virus than being in a group of 5,000 involved in a mosh pit in the streets for 9 hours. Bonus, churches are pretty local events, whereas these city-wide protests draw in people from all over the region. So it is easy to see why these wouldn’t count as super-spreader events.

    • Urthona

      When did this church event happen? Texas cases staring going back down 2 weeks ago.

      • Urthona

        just googled us cases overall too.

        exactly the same.

        cases are heading back down now.

    • LCDR_Fish

      I’ve been going to church the last 5 weeks or so. I have to register for a seat online (space purposes), then when I get there, I get temp checked (just like work or any military facility) and when I get inside, I get seated at least 3 or so seats from any other group/family/etc (they try and leave every other row empty).

      More and more folks attending the last few weeks, but since it’s a high school auditorium, still a lot of space (and since it’s a satellite congregation from a larger church – lots of folks still stream too).

      • TARDIS

        It’s almost if they want the rabid animals to gain herd immunity, and keep normies from getting it too. Imagine if the restrictions lift and thousands of normies die the next week.

        I need to make a new foil hat.

    • Rhywun

      “Experts are blaming what they are calling ‘Super Spreader Events.’”

      “Experts yet again choose the stupidest fucking terminology for this shit.”

      • Urthona

        They’ve talked about that the whole time and honestly the whole thing where people were like “we shouldn’t have gatherings of 10,000 or more people ” was the early initial rule that actually made some sense to me. since then it’s been all
        downhill.

      • cyto

        That is still the rule.

        Unless you are #BLM/Antifa. Then the rule is “do whatever you want, just don’t turn on me!”

    • J. Frank Parnell

      “Experts are blaming what they are calling ‘Super Spreader Events.’”

      The experts’ moms are Super Spreader Events.

    • Count Potato

      If I recall, Twitter took down that meme.

    • cyto

      Yeah, that’s not how you do science.

      There is a serious crisis in science right now anyway. With the dearth of funding, the pressure to publish is massive. And what gets published is positive results. Nobody reports the negative results.

      This is a huge issue.

      Also, nobody does confirming replication studies. This is a critical part of the scientific process. And nobody does it because it costs a lot of time and money, and nobody will publish it because it is not novel.

      Google pushing for disappearing things that conflict with the current narrative is horribly wrongheaded. Tie it in to rebuttal studies, but definitely don’t get rid of it. That is how people know what has already been done.

      • RAHeinlein

        Well-said – no one wants to publish null data (not new). Also, a lack of “critical mass” of researchers in a given area. Add lazy, lying, and incompetent PI’s who are “managing” students without a clue.

      • commodious spittoon

        Is it as bad as a normie like me is led to believe, that the narrative is the null hypothesis for all intensive porpoises? Am I supposed to think things are irretrievably bad in social science but they’re still mostly okay for the so-called real sciences?

      • grrizzly

        Epidemiology and the study of infectious diseases are supposed to be real sciences. Draw from it any conclusion you want. Science!

      • Gustave Lytton

        Have we unpersoned Walter Reed yet?

      • mrfamous

        It’s bad in any research field (I’m in one). Part of it is technological in nature: our technology is so good now, it’s become quite easy to publish lazy analysis where a computer has done way more of the work than it can be safely trusted to do. The discipline of sound study design backed up by critical thinking has mostly vanished. Now you stuff a bunch of data into a computer, it sorts through it all looking for relationships and spits answers back out at you. If you like the answers, you publish.

  20. Gender Traitor

    you people can’t grasp acrostics.

    ***haughty sniff*** I grasp acrostics just fine, thankyouverymuch. I find them elegant, and solving one makes me feel smart – rather like knowing the answers (in the form of questions) on Jeopardy.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        My Posts, et tu?

    • Chafed

      I’m just stupid, okay!

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Chafed, Toxteth is out right now but She was curious as to Where in Cali you are,

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        Don’t mean to horn in on the convo, Yu–but, if you are in communications with her, let her know I’m around and still interested in the Blade Runner set, if she’s keen to sell it to me.

        Mucho appreciato.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Cool! I hoped you would show up, Yes and Yes she will, should I tell her to send it?

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        I was going to have her email me so we could finalize everything (shipping address, paypal/other method, etc). But, yes to your question.

        SP/TPTB–if you would please forward my email on to Toxteth when you can (if not already done).

        Mucho x2

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I let her know, she will be in touch,
        I’m in L….we are good friends,

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        Thank you kindly!

      • Chafed

        I live in SW Riverside County. I have cases throughout Southern California.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        That’s what we thought, I’ll contact her like, now, and let her know,
        5 hours today, we can talk,
        /Sweet

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        kind of half wrong reply, but hey, beer,

      • Chafed

        Have one for me.

    • commodious spittoon

      His voters aren’t taking him literally or seriously anymore. They’re sick of the clown show. And the dummy has only himself to blame.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        As Little Tim and his buddy Adam attract 500k new Trump voters, Trump will win,

    • Tejicano

      Polls aren’t useless. They work real well when used to push the progressive narrative. They are really useful if you know how to write the questions and then dump the answers you didn’t want.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Polls aren’t meant to be a look at the general feel of an issue, more a set of questions designed to agree with a preset concept, nothing more,

      • straffinrun

        Pretty sure Hillary was up by more at this point. I’m pretty sure every team blue candidate has been up in the polls at this point in the summer for the past few decades.

    • cyto

      One note:

      I live in Broward County Florida. As blue as blue gets. There are, near as makes no difference, no Republicans. My town voted to get rid of plastic straws, for crying out loud.

      An I see Trump flags all over the place. Trump/Pence yard signs are starting to pop up.

      And I have yet to see anything for Biden.

      • Gender Traitor

        That’s…interesting. Telling? Only time will tell. I can’t imagine there’s any enthusiasm FOR Biden – only AGAINST Trump. And much more feeling going the opposite direction than the premature polls will show.

    • Sean

      The MSM lies about everything. The polls are bullshit.

  21. Chafed

    Well played Mr. Barr. Well played.

    • Chafed

      Crap. Meant as a reply to 27.

  22. Chafed

    Slumbrew, I posted link shortly after you left last night. Tell us which one is you.

    • slumbrew

      I left a late reply:

      That would be lovely Haverhill (pronounced “Hay-vrille”), about 45 minutes north, on the New Hampshire border. More likely to be DEG 🙂

      That could be any number of place around here, back in the day, but now damn yuppies have gentrified the place and we no longer have that sort of authentic color.

      By “yuppies” I mean me and (almost) all of my neighbors – my buddy’s father grew up right near here, on Winter Hill (home of Whitey Bulger’s Winter Hill Gang) and Walter could not be happier about how much better the neighborhood is. The 4th-generation locals next door agree.

      • Chafed

        Sorry I missed it. I haven’t been to Haverhill since 1989. It’s hard to picture it as gentrified.

      • slumbrew

        Apologies if I was unclear – where I am, Somerville (f.k.a., Slummerville – thus, the beer & the handle) is about 45 minutes south of Haverhill – no idea if Haverhill is gentrified (I’m assuming “no”).

        Somerville, on the other hand…

      • Chafed

        I graduated from Tufts in 1987. I went back with my daughter a year and a half ago to look at colleges. Davis Square was nearly unrecognizable.

        Related: It is a crime Yees Village closed.

      • slumbrew

        Ah, right – I think you’re the one who lived on Herbert Street? I leave right near there (“the armpit of Davis Square” was how a Somerville PD friend describe it, when I bought the place.)

        Yees Village predates me (2008) – that was a variety of struggling business when I got here until it settled on it’s current, reasonably successful tavern.

        Which will no doubt be driven into bankruptcy by our virtue-signalling mayor all too shortly.

      • Chafed

        Predates you!?! Young’n.

      • grrizzly

        I’ve been lately riding on my bike through most towns in Eastern Massachusetts. Every one of them has its charm (including Haverhill)–with the exception of Lawrence.

  23. Digby and the Wonder Llama

    Seriously, UK–DIAF.

    Love, your (former) kid.

    • straffinrun

      “ According to the Evening Standard, a passerby reportedly phoned police after seeing the child with a toy gun in his living room.”

      You’re not allowed to yell “Gun!” in crowded Kabuki theater.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        “I say! It must be one of those colored street gangs from Los Angeles I’ve heard so much about…I must ring the Bobbies hastily!”

        –transcript excerpt, taken from neighborhood surveillance footage

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      “As fair Albion sinks beneath the Waves, ever as it was, and was meant to be”
      /Me 2020,

    • Chafed

      They learned nothing from Texas.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        Texas rarely learns anything from Texas, so….

  24. Yusef drives a Kia

    I’m in the mood for some poetry, give me a concept, thought or theme, even a word……………

    • Digby and the Wonder Llama

      How about Scandinavian scenery? Fjords and mountains and whatnot?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        hmmm, I’ll have a look, i like it, the images come to mind as I type this, yeah, OK

    • tripacer

      Do you know anyone from Nantucket?

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        Does gender matter?

      • tripacer

        Certainly not.

  25. Chafed

    I have been in a mediation since 9 AM. Opposing counsel is sweet but so f***ing slow. I’m getting ready to punch her. First world problems.

    • Brochettaward

      Would?

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        Not “Donkey punch”, ya derelict!

        /it’s not, is it, Chafed?

      • Chafed

        If she wasn’t married, yes.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      that’s why you make the big bucks?
      /hope so

      • Chafed

        So far so good on this case. *fingers crossed*

    • Gustave Lytton

      I’m getting ready to punch her

      Alternative alternative dispute resolution

      • Chafed

        Lol. I’m tucking that one away for the future.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Gives new meaning to binding arbitration.

    • Chafed

      Free at last! Now to get a burrito and drive home.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        ROAD BURRITOS!!!!

      • Chafed

        Jeebus I was hungry. That hit the spot.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        The…..B spot?

      • Chafed

        Sproing.

    • Chafed

      That’s a refreshing change.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        Much like a road burrito.

      • Chafed

        I may dream about it tonight.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        I…..uh….just be sure to wash your hands.

      • Plinker762

        Is a road burrito like a Rusty Venture?

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        No snorkel….I don’t think.

  26. Yusef drives a Kia

    @ Digby! Great Idea, I’m doing almost a Viking Saga, lot’s of work left, you’ll know,Thanks again!

    • Digby and the Wonder Llama

      Most welcome.

      I binged Norsemen on Netflix, so, it’s been on the mind. If you have da flix, and want funny Viking stuff, check it out.

  27. Ownbestenemy

    Had to step outside at my sis house. Talking about how great it will be to send my neice to all these colleges and that Boston U and Harvard and Yale are so glorious.

    At least there is beer

    • Digby and the Wonder Llama

      Prestige is a helluva drug, man. I want to think I would really like my siblings, if I had them. But, at this point, I’m really doubting it.

      Also–Holy crap… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uwGBd–NQeo

      • Plinker762

        My sister wanted Warren as president.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        Leaving off “as president” makes that statement less troublesome, oddly enough.

      • Chafed

        What was that? Who goes home to get a scythe?

      • salted earth

        Right, I never leave home without mine.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        Death? Someone who wants a more visceral murder experience?

        Certainly drunk assholes who live in places that are less…free.

    • grrizzly

      Boston U is where the kid goes if he/she doesn’t make it to Harvard.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yeah SIL teaches there…brother teaches at Northwestern. Both architects and awesome at their jobs

      • grrizzly

        Northwestern or Northeastern? Nice schools both.

    • Ownbestenemy

      I am all for education. Get what you need for your goals. She wants to go to Boise State but east coast brother is just hammering away to go there instead. Let the fucking 16 year old decide on her own when she gets to it.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        Exactly. While I don’t know the specifics, beyond what you’ve put down, I’d be thinking, “If you have an offer for her, pitch it to her, and let her evaluate everything. Otherwise, STFU, bruh.” It’s a big step, and options mean there will be one or more roads not taken. But, she needs to do this on her own. It’s part of putting on the Big Girl panties for adulthood.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Pretty much picked up on what I was putting down.

        If i were to guess….he thinks going to Boise State is icky and gross.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        What a novel way to get her to see the ‘correct’ light–belittle her preferred option. She’s sure to enjoy every minute of her schooling after that.

      • Gustave Lytton

        They did make a playing field out of ground up smurfs…

        /purposefully dense

  28. Yusef drives a Kia

    @Digby, I wrote an awesome set, I hope they post it, you will like it I believe, thanks for the inspiration

    • Digby and the Wonder Llama

      Outstanding! Will keep an eye out. Thank you.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        It finished cool, with an opening for another set, very fun to write thanks, for real, it really makes my life complete

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I write songs and poems, a storyteller as it were, so your inspiration does mean a great deal to me,

      • Plinker762

        I thought you might do a Viking diorama with a fjord and a funeral pyre ship.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        Now, see–THAT is inspiration. Right on, Plink.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        DUDE!NO! I can’t d… aw crap now I have to, thanks for wrecking my savings……..

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Seriously, I have to do a fjord and a ship now, you guys are killing me…

      • salted earth

        Will there be real fire?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Yes

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        not kidding, for how much it will cost, it better be good, and I’m good

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Hey salt, go see my stuff, I build some cool things

  29. Yusef drives a Kia

    Last time I did a request it was Normandy for 1000$, go see, I don’t enact labor, you want Vikings in a Fjord? 500$
    Dammit!

    • Digby and the Wonder Llama

      That’s the spirit!

      Er, uh,unfortunately, my $ is tied up in Blade Runner blu-rays…..

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        No I heard, I almost…… well I’ll let you know, we are in………….
        stuff, odd for sure

  30. Yusef drives a Kia

    I want to say a lot of stuff, but I should just shut up, but Yusef is Happy! finally!

    • Digby and the Wonder Llama

      Feel-good story of the morning.

    • Festus' Mustache

      Ah fuck me dead. That wasn’t right at all…

      • Festus' Mustache

      • Festus' Mustache

        I give up.

      • Gender Traitor

        Obligatory. Also, Alison Krauss makes everything all right (or at least a lot better.)

      • Festus' Mustache

        I lurve me some Allison! Thanks, Red. I needed that.

  31. Gender Traitor

    Good morning, Glibboys! Happy Wednesday! And if it’s NOT a happy day, here’s just the thing for those occasions when a simple “Fuck off!” is insufficiently emphatic. Also, classy because Cary Grant. (NSFW: Language)

    • hayeksplosives

      Have a happy morning, or at least have the kind of morning you’re in the mood for.

      My Tuesday morning started with my phone ringing while I was getting ready for work.

      Me: Hello?
      Telemarketer (response was half a second late, so I knew): Is this Firstname Lastname?
      Me: Who is this?
      TM: I’m Maggie with Something Homes.
      Me: This is a work phone, so no.
      TM: Are you self-employed?
      Me: What’s your shoe size?
      TM: What?
      Me: Uh-huh. (Click)

      One of those kind of days.

      • Gender Traitor

        And good morning, fellow Glibbroad!

      • Festus' Mustache

        Cary Grant was a fine figure of a man and raging Homo. NTTAWWT. I always liked him even when they made him play Love Interest Grandpa against some ingenue. Classy feller. Played the system and got all the ass.

      • Gender Traitor

        Charade is one of my favorite movies. Audrey Hepburn and Cary Grant! Can it get any better than that??

      • Festus' Mustache

        Daddy issues? I keed. Young ladies seem to like older men that haven’t given up and appear to have some form of income. Poor Antifa, ten years from now they’ll still be planning the revolution and their “Sister’s In Arms” will be living in the suburbs.

      • Don Escaped Spring Training

        There always seem to be enough defective women to validate the drug dealers, the punks, the man-buns, and the twinks. I blame chicks: if they didn’t do these guys, this crap would die out.

      • Festus' Mustache

        *Ahem* That’s where poor, white trash are born and cradled. I should know, I am one.

    • Festus' Mustache

      This was my day and night (see above clusterfuck). I had a pretty great Monday, all things considered and Tuesday was just a big Bowl-o-Twats… Wednesday isn’t fairing much better thus far. It seems that whenever you glimpse the double rainbow is when the dog shits in your shoe. Not a Cynic. Nosirree.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        “Bowl-o-Twats”

        General Mills product or Kellogg’s?

      • Festus' Mustache

        Certainly not Kellogg’s. Corn Flakes are for real men. Cheerios are for Chads.

    • Gender Traitor

      “But…but…they’re all dead!! OMG!!! ZOMBIE ECONOMY!!!”
      /prog

  32. Festus' Mustache

    What’s with every Gen-Z tuber wearing a knit cap in the heat of summer? God knows I’ve made some silly fashion faux pas but the “beanie” is downright stupid. Baseball cap wearer for life!

    • Not Adahn

      No shit. It’s a toque FFS! A beanie is what brownies wear!

      • Festus' Mustache

        That what (((they))) wear minus the little propeller.

      • Not Adahn

        Well, yeah. Propellers are treif. That’s why Israel didn’t have an air force until after the jet engine was invented.

    • UnCivilServant

      I couldn’t stand wearing knit hats in winter, let alone summer.

      /literal fedora owner

      • Gender Traitor

        Old school. Classy.

    • Don Escaped Spring Training

      They stole it from the Millennials; this stupidity is not new.

      • Festus' Mustache

        This is why it needs to be mocked. Relentlessly.

    • Not Adahn

      Honestly though, Tim Pool claims that he only wears it while he’s working and that people don’t recognize him when he takes it off. So it’s like Batman’s cowl.

      • Festus' Mustache

        I don’t trust Tim Pool. He’ll turn on a dime if he gets un-personed.

    • Festus' Mustache

      34 years old. I was building a life with my second Wife, gainfully employed and trying to win over my step-children.

  33. Not Adahn

    I don’t get it. Do they hate him because he has a second set of eyebrows?

    • Festus' Mustache

      I think he’s being a Glibertarian.

  34. UnCivilServant

    *headdesk*

    Seven.

    I have seven meetings on my calendar for today, most an hour long.

    I’m not going to get anything done am I?

    • Sean

      We just had a short staff meeting here. I shut that shit down as soon as it got off track. Maybe about 10 minutes in.

    • Festus' Mustache

      I’m not very happy with my station in life but I think I’d rather empty the tiny garbage bins than put up with that stupid fucking mummery.

    • Not Adahn

      You just need to use business-speak and you have a full day of reportable accomplishments that are immediately actionizable to you SMART goals!

      • Festus' Mustache

        So that must be the paradigm shift that was all the rage about 30 years ago. Got it! Just listen to the wisdom of the wankers!

  35. Gdragon

    I think it’s clear that what’s happening in the strip is that drugs are falling out of his ass.