High Treason Day

by | Jul 4, 2020 | Beer, Fitness, Food & Drink | 433 comments

In the midst of a rise of COVID cases the governor of my state decided it was better to be loved by the media and people that will never vote for him in the first place, and shut it all down.  Again.

This is my review of Great Divide Mexican Chocolate Yeti.

Naturally, the experts are saying it was the rush to reopen that caused the spike. Their critics are pointing out the coincidental rise in PCR testing and the obvious sampling bias in testing (only sick people are getting tested).  Its depressing how few people can simply recall current events while interpreting the information presented in a graph.  I suppose they don’t teach math in public schools anymore.  So here is the daily case data for AZ, with a few points I added in for context of events.  Taken of course from the state’s interactive data dashboard as of 7/2/20.

  • The dark blue arrow is May 15, when the statewide lockdown ended.
  • The red arrow is May 25, the day George Floyd died, with the ensuing daily protests.
  • The green arrow is May 30, the day a particularly worrisome protest riot occurred in Scottsdale that included looting a shopping mall. They are still arresting people for that.
  • I will be fair and point out June 21 with the light blue arrow, the day Phoenix and Maricopa County mandated facemasks-
  • As well as June 23, which brought the Trump rally to my neighborhood, literally (I was not kidding when I said it was a half mile from my house).  This is the yellow arrow.

A two week incubation period is the expected range, however the average is just over five days.  Given that, we can see results of the ensuing actions within a week—not two.  The state’s ability to collect test samples over the weekends has a noticeable drop, which is convenient for those just watching.  This means the resulting rise of infection from reopening the AZ economy, independent from all other factors, falls between the dark blue and red arrows. I’ll admit reopening does contribute to the total, as it was expected.  I’m not some kind of expert here, but reopening is a weak correlation, because it doesn’t actually start to rise until after the green arrow—after a full week of protests.

Quite frankly, the charge that going to the gym and to bars is making everyone sick is an insult to my intelligence.  It was the protests that lead to a rise in cases.

As it turns out I am not the only one that doesn’t like being blamed for the stupidity of others.  A local gym owner filed a lawsuit with the state within a day of the new lockdown.  Apparently, they think he has a pretty good shot.  His drawing all the attention then lead to others to remain open in spite of the lockdown.  This lead to a surprising email from my gym:

We have carefully weighed all the current decisions that have been made in regards to the shutting down of gyms across the state. We have decided to reopen our gyms based on the evidence and science that supports our facilities. Starting tomorrow July 2, 2020 at 4:00 pm
[…]
…in support of the nearly 75 [sic] employees, we disagree with further damaging their livelihoods after the challenge the March shutdown already imposed.

I am reminded today is July 4.  The day Americans celebrate high treason and make fun of our Canadian friends because they still have to pretend they care about the Queen (haha).  Is this a petty hill to die on?  Yes.  As I’ve been reminded by others here, if you’re not willing to tell them to “fuck off” over something petty, don’t be surprised when they don’t take you seriously when they go for something that really matters.  At that point it stops being a metaphor.

In short, I had to go.  Principles and all.  Here is proof of my intransigence.

Take that! Facial recognition software!

This is a fantastic beer for winter, not so much for summer.  “Mexican Chocolate“ is a gimmick because chocolate is native to Mesoamerica and initially cultivated by Mexican Indians, therefore all chocolate is Mexican. Appropriate it it all you want, because its delicious and STEVE SMITH APPROVED.  Great Divide Mexican Chocolate Yeti:  4.4/5

About The Author

mexican sharpshooter

mexican sharpshooter

WARNING: Glibertarians.com contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm. https://youtu.be/qiAyX9q4GIQ?t=2m22s

433 Comments

  1. Ted S.

    You started drinking early.

    • Cy

      It’s the 4th of July, I can only hope that he never stopped drinking from last night.

  2. Gender Traitor

    “Mexican Chocolate“ is a gimmick because chocolate is native to Mesoamerica and initially cultivated by Mexican Indians, therefore all chocolate is Mexican.

    ::jumps up and down waving Mexican flag::

    The timing of this post now has me disoriented. And, of course, the pressing questions is: Will posting “too early” cause a spike in comments?

    • TARDIS

      I protest this early post!

      *sets computer on fire*

    • Ted S.

      He did it so you-know-who wouldn’t be first.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Hitler?

    • Q Continuum

      Premature postjaculation.

  3. Timeloose

    Remind me to not piss Sharphooter off from far away or close up.

    Good beer. Chocolate Stouts are great in the winter. Ones that strong and hearty are a one and done for me. 250-350 cal per serving is rough.

    • Nephilium

      The Blackwater series from Southern Tier has some really great dessert beers, and some that are too damned sweet for (their initial) 22 oz. bottles. They’ve at least shifted to selling them in 12 oz. bottles and cans (looks at you Creme Brulee stout).

      • Timeloose

        I agree you should share a bomber bottle of Cream Brûlée’ stout.

        If you drink one on your own you should take an insulin shot with it.

      • Homple

        Dessert Beer? Somebody opened the Seventh Seal way earlier than I expected.

      • Nephilium

        Think sweet stouts, generally with a chocolate note (or a large chocolate presence). Southern Tier has a large number of them (including some really good ones, and some that I’ll let other people enjoy). New Holland also has some in their Dragon’s Milk Reserve series that I would class as dessert beers. Both are fairly widely distributed, then we’ve got quite a few local ones as well that aren’t distributed at all. In the before times, there was a beer fest that Fat Head’s did in summer called the Heavy Weight Brewer’s Ball, all beers entered to win (judge’s choice and best of show voted on by the attendees) had to be above 10% ABV. For three years running, Willoughby Brewing won with their Nut Smasher imperial peanut butter porter. It is delicious, but it’s not what I’m going to reach for on a 90 degree day. Now, the one hot blonde (mango habanero blonde ale) is another story.

      • EvilSheldon

        There are certain beers that really come in to their own when poured over a scoop of vanilla ice cream…

      • Akira

        You know what else comes into its own when poured over vanilla ice cream? Espresso.

      • Nephilium

        Speaking of that

      • Akira

        Haha, holy shit. May have to grab a bottle of that if I see it somewhere.

        Affogato is the best though. I shelled out $5 for a little-ass thing of Haagen-Dasz and made some espresso in my Moka pot. If I’m doing this, I’m going all-out, damnit!

        Totally worth the calorie bomb that is ice cream.

      • Nephilium

        Akira:

        No bottles, Oskar Blues cans (and is the company that created the Crowler). I haven’t checked out the local beer stores yet, but they do distribute here in Ohio, so you should be able to find it when it makes it here.

        I make my own ice cream, as it’s not difficult, just somewhat time intensive. With the lockdowns, I’ve got time and taught the girlfriend how to make ice cream as well. She’s slowly getting willing to try branching out into non-traditional flavors (her face when I suggested using maple syrup instead of granulated sugar was entertaining).

  4. Yusef drives a Kia

    I love a good Stout, even in the Summer, Happy what’s left of our Independence Day Everyone!

  5. Gender Traitor

    Apropos of nothing except the “attack on indigenous peoples” stuff from the last thread, it just occurred to me that it’s probably good that Tom T. and I picked up hard copies of most of Tony Hillerman’s books before HE gets canceled for cultural appropriation. (Kinda relieved he didn’t live to see that crap.)

    Speaking of “cultural prepping,” my hard copy of a comprehensive edition of The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn has arrived. Should I get a fireproof safe in which to store it?

    • Animal

      My current work-in-progress begins with the arrival of a Roman army in South Carolina in 49 BCE. So, I speculate a lot about their integration into pre-Columbian Indian society – and vice versa.

      Anyone who wants to accuse me of “cultural appropriation” can fuck right off.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      The problem with cultural preservation in the face of persecution is two fold. One you need a arid environment and then the issue of hiding it so the burners can’t find it and that the people you want to have find it can. You also don’t know how long this could last. I’m thinking specifically of Gnostic Gospels of Nag Hammadi.

      • Gender Traitor

        ::notes that average July humidity in Dayton, OH, is 73%:: Guess we gonna have to move.

      • Tres Cool

        Its only 89º and 58% now. Then again, its barely noon.

  6. commodious spittoon

    I must have missed the memo where the lockdowns are about preventing a second spike.

    • Rebel Scum

      The goalposts won’t sit still.

      • commodious spittoon

        Hell, it wasn’t even supposed to prevent a first spike. That’s what flatten the curve meant, we’d see a considerable uptick in cases but it wouldn’t overwhelm our capacity to render healthcare.

        It’s difficult to interpret the shifting rationals as anything other than total contempt for middle America.

      • Q Continuum

        “It’s difficult to interpret the shifting rationals as anything other than total contempt for middle America”

        Occam needs a shave.

      • Rebel Scum

        uptick in cases

        And from what I have seen (with a bit of speculation) a large part of this is younger people who are 1) irresponsible and 2) not affected by the virus as badly, which is to be expected.

      • Akira

        The fact that the metrics keep changing is my big clue that this is all bullshit.

        First it was the death rate. Then when greater testing pushed that down, it was “daily new cases”, which of course includes positive antibody test results just to push it as high as possible. Once it comes out that the “daily new cases” are mostly young people who have little to no symptoms, they’ll find some other metric to use.

        Whichever one looks the worst, they’ll use that one and ignore all the others that point to a decline in cases.

      • Plinker762

        They have already started with the “healthy young person dying” stories.

      • Sean

        Maybe we should give them Ritalin.

  7. westernsloper

    I was incoherently trying to make this point last night. How in the wide world of fucks can anyone even take the new closures seriously when the Top Men did not and continue to not discourage large gatherings of protestors. Ya, it is the bars, gyms and Trump rallies where everybody is getting the Covid. Why any business agrees to comply with a closure order now is beyond me.

    I like Stouts thanks your reviews MS. None on hand but I am making a sauce for the ribs going in the smoker in a bit and said sauce is going to have Bourbon in it so guess what is in my coffee?

  8. Nephilium

    One of the local breweries (that had the misfortune to open this year, with their first day being February 29th) is opening up today to do growler fills, and have a bakery truck there to sell desserts. So right now, I’m eating some breakfast, rehydrating, and getting ready to step out with some empty growlers.

    I just had to leave a song that’s appropriate for today.

    • Nephilium

      And just because, another song that seems fitting for today.

  9. Rebel Scum

    Mexican? Chocolate? Yeti? On America’s birthday?!

    *Cracks Guinness*

    • Q Continuum

      He’s building the Wall and paying for it himself.

    • Count Potato

      In America, Guinness is made in Canada.

  10. Q Continuum

    Which beer is more MURRICA: Coors Light or Bud Light?

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Pabst Blue Ribbon

    • Rebel Scum

      Budweiser usually does the American flag cans. But I’d go Yuengling lager.

      Also acceptable, as Yusef says, is PBR.

      • Trigger Hippie

        *looks into camera*

        “I’m white trash and I’m in trouble.”

      • Trigger Hippie

        …er possibly unnecessary explanation: It’s just a South Park reference, not an indictment on a person’s beer preference. I drink cheap swill on the regular with no shame.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I like good beer, but my fridge is full of Natty Ice,
        /White Trash Power!

      • Rebel Scum

        I got that. I drink cheap wine and beer on a regular basis. Guinness is my go-to as a “premium” beer. Naked Grape is a go-to for a “premium” wine. And those are just a single step up from “cheap”. But they are delicious.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        If it weren’t for trying to save money, it would be Founder all day IPA or Sierra Nevada Torpedoes today,
        But it’s cool, FIREWORKS!!!!!!!

      • Tres Cool

        Im about to get a 30-pack of Milwaukee’s Beast Diet. TALL CANS!

        HEY YUFUS

      • Cy

        “Im about to get a 30-pack of Milwaukee’s Beast Diet. TALL CANS!”

        I hope your will is up to date.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Sup Tres!
        /Tall Cans!

      • Crusty Juggler

        Tomorrow morning I will spray out an explosive, rummy dump with you in solidarity.

      • Nephilium

        Yuengling or PBR are the largest American owned breweries (depending on how you’re defining brewery). Yuengling does brew their own beer, PBR is produced under contract.

        You could also go with Yards brewing’s Revolutionary series or (Kif sigh) pumpkin/acorn beers.

  11. Sean

    Smokey and the bandit 3 is a hot mess.

    • Spudalicious

      Is that the one with the circus?

      • Sean

        That was 2 with the elephant.

        3 really didn’t have Burt Reynolds in it. I jumped in about a third into it and had no idea what was going on. Something about a fake shark. /shrug

  12. Count Potato

    “all chocolate is Mexican”

    So Swiss is Latino? The narrow gaze makes more sense now.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      *narrowed gaze*

    • commodious spittoon

      All the rights government lets us have, responsibly.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Could be, I stole the hell out of it already, my Sister LOLd hard,

    • commodious spittoon
      • Rebel Scum

        The Bee strikes again, of course.

    • Ownbestenemy

      That was an A+ troll from the Bee. Hell I even went to the dems twitter to just make sure because it isn’t so much as a parody anymore with sone people.

      • Tejicano

        Hell, I wouldn’t be too surprised to find out that one of the faithful saw it and assumed it was gospel, then did a copypasta onto some semi-official site.

        It’s not too surprising to see goldfish swallow a floating turd.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    We have decided to reopen our gyms based on the evidence and science that supports our facilities.

    That’s not how SCIENCE works!

  14. Timeloose

    So I spent the first half of my Independence Day scrubbing my deck so I can re-stain it tomorrow.

    Real TSP is the best shit to prep for paint or stain. It stripped the top layer of glass off the non weathered stain as well as degreased under the smoker and grill.

    Almost time for cold cans at mom and dads. The grill master will need to be properly lubricated to make beer burgers later.

    • Mojeaux

      ICYMI, something you said at the tail end of our chat Thursday really stuck with me and helped a lot. Fortunately, I finally remembered what it was. Thank you!

      • Timeloose

        I had a great talk. I’m glad It was a help you.

        I’m also glad you remembered what it was. I was a bit “happy” As my grandmother used to say.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Get a room you two

      • Tres Cool

        Hell, there’s nothing good on TV, and no baseball.

        I’d watch.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    I’m bringing this over from the dead thread. Pertinent in the context of healthy living, or something.

    Leave it to the trained professionals (USA Toady link in other thread, if you really care)

    But dealing with raw meat can be tricky, and cooking it improperly can be deadly.

    “Cooking food thoroughly and handling it correctly is critically important,” Carmen Rottenberg, a former administrator with the USDA’s Food Safety and Inspection Service, previously told USA TODAY. “The food produced is not sterile. … People want to cook raw food and prepare it at home. If you prepare it at home, you have to know there are some risks associated with it.”

    It’s a wonder humanity has survived this long.

    • Rebel Scum

      I think the basics of raw meat prep are well understood by the average person. It’s like these people want to treat independent, functioning adults like children.

    • Ownbestenemy

      I think thats aimed at the crowd that never has had or wanted to cook for themselves. Well at least I hope it is.

    • Tejicano

      I never get how some people seem to believe you need to scrub a BBQ grill down to the bare metal before cooking. Yeah, I’ll make sure no charred meat scraps are still stuck on and I’ll knock off and big chunks of residue – but by the time I am laying any food items on that grill it’s already up to about 350 degrees F. No bio-organism stuck to my grill will be a threat to me at that point.

      • cyto

        Which is what makes grilled veggies yummy. All that excess meat runoff and smoke.

        I did a bbq last weekend at the lake in glorious middle-of-nowhere Wisconsin. 36 burgers, 36 Brats and 48 hot dogs followed by a grill full of chopped Broccoli, Brussels sprouts, cauliflower and zucchini. With all that grease smoking away, just a little salt and pepper made for fantastic veggies.

        And this is Wisconsin. So no vegetarians were around to complain.

      • Timeloose

        That’s what the flavor bars are for. I just cleaned my Webber, but it’s to keep it from catching fire. I clean it once a summer.

        The squirrels clean it over the winter.

      • Nephilium

        You’d be surprised. I had some friends who were having an infection problem with several batches of beer in a row. Everything was cleaned and sanitized on the cold side, and the hot side reaches boiling temps for long enough to sterilize it.

        Turns out the plate chiller they were using (which wasn’t designed for brewing) was getting cleaned and rinsed by the boiling cleanser that was run through it, but not enough. There was crud building up inside of it, that would get rinsed off by the cooling wort and lead to infection (my tip offs were that the carboys/kegs filled later in the process were the worst infected, and that they never broke down the chiller to clean it).

    • Akira

      At a factory where I used to work, they had a pointless meeting that the whole shift had to attend where they would talk about stupid bullshit completely irrelevant to our jobs. One of the features was a weekly presentation on safety by the on-site nurse. One year around Thanksgiving, she talked about raw meat safety. She said, “And I know some of you like your steak all bloody, but you need to make sure you cook it all the way or else you’ll get very sick”. There was audible laughter in the room when she said that.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    Hell, it wasn’t even supposed to prevent a first spike. That’s what flatten the curve meant, we’d see a considerable uptick in cases but it wouldn’t overwhelm our capacity to render healthcare.

    It’s difficult to interpret the shifting rationals as anything other than total contempt for middle America.

    It’s about SAVING LIVES! Nobody ever died before this extinction level event.

  17. Timeloose

    I don’t know what’s more American than Pizza.

    This week the Barstool Sports pizza reviewer made a trip through my area and hit 3 of my favorite pizza joints.

    The guy Dave Portnoy is your typical Boston A hole, but he loves his pizza. If he is not your cup of tea I understand.

    The first place he visited is still my favorite place to get a pizza.

    https://www.barstoolsports.com/video/2620776/barstool-pizza-review-angelos-pizzeria-wilkes-barre-pa

    https://www.barstoolsports.com/video/2627776/barstool-pizza-review-sabatinis-pizza-exeter-pa

    For you beer lovers check out the second location Sabs. It is part of the same complex that is my favorite Beer Bar in the country.

    • Crusty Juggler

      Pres is man.

      • Timeloose

        You win

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Wow

      • TARDIS

        9.9 (-0.1 for not having an AR-15 rifle butt jammed up against her ample hip)

    • westernsloper

      Those look really good. And ya, that guy is grade A douche but whatever. It is not possible to find pizza with crust like that around here. The closest I have seen and is on my list to go visit but haven’t made it yet is this place. I first heard about them from seeing their pizza box in this cool video.

      • Timeloose

        It was a struggle to find a good pizza in south TX. I made up for it with Tex mex. mex, and BBQ.

        I would travel up to 3 hours to find one. Austin has a few winners now, but there weren’t any when I was living in that area.

      • westernsloper

        I first discovered how a pizza crust should be when I moved to FL in the 80’s and ate at a pizza place ran by transplanted NY’rs. (I think) Now the only time I get that kind of pizza is when I make it myself.

    • mrfamous

      “I don’t know what’s more American than Pizza.”

      Permanent mask-wearing quarantine

  18. Crusty Juggler

    I spent $1,000 on an Assualt Air Bike because I don’t know when gyms are re-opening in New York and I need an outlet for high intensity workouts or I will end up fucking someone’s shit up, probably my own.

    • Count Potato

      So it has the thing that goes up?

      • Tres Cool

        The new Colt AR-10Speed

      • Nephilium

        Why are you calling it an 18 speed bike when it only has 9 gears? Six plus three is nine.

    • EvilSheldon

      Ayo.

      I’ve been making do with crappy adjustable dumbbells and sandbag rucks.

      I used to have an air rower, but I sold it when I moved to VA. I kinda miss it now.

  19. Q Continuum

    This screed is about as perfect an advertisement for libertarianism as I can think of.

    https://www.powerlineblog.com/archives/2020/07/thoughts-from-the-ammo-line-331.php

    Every one of those has an option 3 that normies wouldn’t even consider because it seems too outrageous. Step 1: get government out of the way. Step 2: have the freedom to make whatever choices you want. Step 3: accept responsibility for those choices, both personally and financially.

  20. R C Dean

    So, when the left takes power, will they

    (a) demolish Mt. Rushmore

    or

    (b) recarve it into leftist icons?

    If (b), who will it be?

    • Q Continuum

      (b) requires too much effort. It’s far easier to destroy than to create and Lefties are not known for their work ethic.

      • R C Dean

        I’m thinking vanity and graft could overcome their laziness.

      • Mojeaux

        I have found that English types don’t much care for creation. They destroy (criticize) literature, but don’t learn anything from it. I also think there is a difference in picking a work apart and trying to see themes and symbols, metaphors and suchlike, putting the work into the context of the time, while still respecting it. There’s even “I didn’t like it” as a valid opinion.

        But tearing it down as a tool of the patriarchy or whatever grievance is to be laid at its feet is another thing entirely.

        My SIL has made the argument that the critique is its own form of creativity, which I can SEE, but ultimately, destruction and a (biased) description of what used to stand there isn’t the same.

      • cyto

        Post-modernism, FTW!

      • Mojeaux

        Exactly so.

      • Akira

        I have found that English types don’t much care for creation. They destroy (criticize) literature, but don’t learn anything from it.

        Ah, makes sense.

        I always wondered why there were so many English majors on the Left, but they don’t seem to grasp the distinction between depicting and endorsing something in literature, like the un-woke aspects of Huckleberry Finn.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        They don’t grasp the distinction because they have elevated themselves over the work. All that matters is their reaction to to the work.

        This is why they are fundamentally incapable of learning and maturing. It’s built into the way they critique everything.

      • Mojeaux

        they have elevated themselves over the work.

        I hadn’t thought of it that way, but of course! It’s so obvious.

        I majored in English.

        Creative writing and journalism (with quite a few linguistic credits). I did not get a lit degree because I want to write, not critique.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The Stanley Fish school of criticism.

        Yet another reason Duke sucks.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      If (b), who will it be?

      Obama. Duh.

    • Spudalicious

      I love those guys.

  21. cyto

    In addition to the direct effect of people attending the protests, the protests were a dam bursting. People were fed up with the lockdowns, but they tolerated them because it was a shared burden. Once it was permissible to go out and March and shout and break in to Target to steal TVs, everyone said screw it and quit trying so hard.

    The protests were social permission to go forth and live. This undoubtedly accelerated the spread more than simply cautiously reopening. The sub-40 single crowd immediately dropped all pretense of social distancing.

    • Q Continuum

      “The sub-40 single crowd immediately dropped all pretense of social distancing.”

      Even Ron Jeremy’s dick isn’t big enough to have casual sex six feet away.

  22. straffinrun

    There is zero chance I would fingerfuck a 14 year old girl.

    • Q Continuum

      Even if you were a 14 year old boy?

      • straffinrun

        4 to 5 percent.

      • cyto

        14 year old boys are very selective about who they finger bang. They won’t do it to anyone who doesn’t have a vagina and a pulse.

      • Ted S.

        You need to get over the fact that no 14-year-old boy wants to finger bang you.

      • Gustave Lytton

        *cue kancho videos in rebuttal*

    • R C Dean

      Err, good to know?

      • Ted S.

        I suppose yes, if you have a 14-year-old daughter.

    • Crusty Juggler

      Just anal?

  23. Ownbestenemy

    Getting ready to start the smoker for some meats. Decided on brisket and pork belly burnt ends as the main course to celebrate this Independence Day.

    Sides will probably be an ozro salad with fresh veggies from the garden, stuffed portobello mushrooms, deviled eggs, and beer…lots and lots of beer.

    Maybe head out and watch some fireworks, didn’t drive up the the indian store to get the good stuff this year.

    Me at Costco yesterday
    https://youtu.be/f9_1eujdVpI

    • Sean

      I’m really just focused on the pork belly.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yeah its meat candy for sure. Gonna make a bourbon bbq sauce to braise them too.

    • westernsloper

      I made pork belly burnt ends once. Why only once I have no idea because them is some good eats. Enjoy!!

    • blackjack

      Ribs, country style bone in. They’re almost done, with potato salad and beans.

  24. Mojeaux

    I am doing nothing today. MAYBE I’ll get a wild hare and take a shower.

    • cyto

      While you are in there…. Maybe you can do something about that wild hair….

      • Mojeaux

        Taming the wild hair is, in fact, on the showering agenda.

      • cyto

        The wife just told me to get moving… So we can shower together. The wild hair I will be taming is 3 days growth on my face… With a Wal-Mart brand 5 blade razor that the wife “borrowed” for the last week because she left hers at the hotel. So wish me luck 😉

      • cyto

        That went as expected. Not shaving again until we can get to a store to buy fresh razors.

      • Mojeaux

        Mr. Mojeaux uses electric razors. I use cheap Bics.

      • TARDIS

        Funny, back in days of full employment I used an electric during the workweek, and cheap Bics on Sunday.

    • Count Potato

      Interspecies erotica?

      • cyto

        My initial reaction was this alternate joke…

        Taking a wild hare to the shower…. Is that a veiled reference to spending the afternoon with a Rabbit vibe?

        But I decided that you guys might think that was too low-brow for mixed company. I’m keeping it classy… So I didnt make that joke.

      • Mojeaux

        *eyeballs toy box*

        No rabbits. Or hares.

    • Gender Traitor

      I was shamed into running around with the vacuum cleaner just long enough to suck up the biggest chunks of black cat hair before a guy comes over to take a look at the bits of interior plaster that need repair around our fireplace (and one small patch of ceiling below a since-repaired roof leak.) Unless I’m later inspired to do any laundry, that’s about as productive as I expect to get today.

      • Nephilium

        I went out and bought beer and cookies, what more do you expect from me today?

      • Cy

        I expect you to play with heavily explosives in an American manner and do some freedom and shit!

      • Nephilium

        I leave that shit to my neighbors. Besides, fireworks are still technically illegal here in Ohio.

        And I’m not feeling like there’s much freedom to celebrate these days.

        /goes to refill beer glass

      • Raven Nation

        “Celebrate America by blowing up a small piece of it.”

      • Mojeaux

        Oh, lookie. Mr. Mojeaux just came back with 2 slabs of ribs.

  25. straffinrun

    I would not take a mentally disabled child to the janitor’s closet to “teach them a lesson”.

    • Q Continuum

      In this scenario is the mentally disabled child a 14 year-old girl and the lesson is fingerbanging?

      • straffinrun

        Yes. I’m not a believer at education at any cost.

  26. Cannoli

    Happy Independence Day Glibs! Today is also my sister’s birthday. My family is hanging out at the lake, we’re about to watch 1776, and later we’re going to set off fireworks.

    • Gender Traitor

      we’re about to watch 1776

      ::checks TCM schedule:: 2:30 Eastern. Hmmmm….

      Happy Birthday to your sister, and a glorious holiday to you & yours!

      • Cannoli

        Thank you, and to you too!

    • Mojeaux

      Happy birthday to sis!

      • Cannoli

        Thanks!

    • CPRM

      Today is also my sister’s birthday.

      *Thinks about making lewd comment* *No, I’m too tired and I have a headache. Maybe next time* *Rolls over*

      • Where's the Omelette?

        tv g

      • Where's the Omelette?

        fumble fingers! ⬆️

    • Nephilium

      My standard carry growlers (what, you all don’t have those?) are both in insulated carriers. They generally have a pint of star san in them, right now one is currently 3/4’s full of Vine Swinger APA, the other is full of Jungle Juice from Blue Monkey brewing, and Goods Bake Shoppe was there selling cookies as well. The girlfriend said if I went to get beer, I wasn’t allowed back in the house without cookies. So I picked up some of their cookies as well.

      • Timeloose

        I used the star San when I brewed beer. I had a hard time with it not needing to be rinsed afterwards.

      • Nephilium

        It takes some getting used to, of course, seeing how little liquid is there in a container filled with foam helps, as does that it’s non-toxic (it tastes similar to lemon juice). It also breaks down into yeast nutrients (which is a neat positive to me).

        There’s a lot of really interesting (to me at least) science that was being done in the early brewing world. Such as decoction mashes, which were needed when you didn’t have good temperature measurements and were using a wooden mash tub.

    • Cy

      Always laugh when they report the statistics on people killed by cougars or bears. As if they tag their humans or something… Meanwhile, where did all of these people that are ‘missing?’

  27. straffinrun

    I guess that’s too far. Welp.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Watching the indycar race. Everybody’s masked up.

    You’re OUTSIDE, you fucking cretins.

  29. TARDIS

    For my fun and excitement today, I am going head to the drugstore to buy some old people socks. May then, Nurse Ratched will get off my back.

    I do have a 1.8Lb T-Bone ready for the Hibachi later though.

    I’m doing something this holiday that I have not done in 20 years; no drinking.

    • Crusty Juggler

      “I’m doing something this holiday that I have not done in 20 years; no drinking.”

      My God.

      • Tres Cool

        He’s gone off the reservation. No sense even trying to help him now.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        /Solemnly bows head…………………

      • TARDIS

        I’ll be fine. I just need to get past the Monday doctor appointment.

    • Gender Traitor

      Would you feel a bit hipper wearing these?

      Also, FWIW, in the experience of Chez GT/TT, the best readily-available NA beers are: in bottles, O’Doul’s, and in cans, Old Mil NA.

      • Nephilium

        If you’re looking for NA beers, there’s also Athletic Brewing which ships. I’ve had there stuff at a fest, and it was decent. I’m not dropping $12 for a six pack of NA beer though, hell, I can make a 5 gallon batch of my mild ale for ~$15 and that’s only 3.5%.

      • Gender Traitor

        …and unless they’ve improved it considerably in recent years, Coors NA is truly vile.

      • TARDIS

        All Coors NA is truly vile.

        It’s been a while since I had an O’Doul’s. I don’t think I hated it. Maybe I’ll head off to store and see what they have.

      • Hyperion

        Coors Lite why not just drink water, it’s better for you.

      • TARDIS

        Would you feel a bit hipper wearing these?

        Well those are a much better price. These are what I was prescribed.

      • Gender Traitor

        Holy crap! If those were prescribed, I hope you could pay for them out of an HSA or an FSA!

      • TARDIS

        Yes’m HSA Mastercard FTW.

        My wife already picked up a pair in black. I am NOT wandering around in shorts and knee-length black socks. I’ll get the ones in pink just to annoy her.

      • Gender Traitor

        As long as you’re not wearing them with sandals. ::shudders as long-repressed memories of dad’s crimes against good taste rear their ugly heads::

      • Hyperion

        Someone call the fashion police!

  30. Trigger Hippie

    If you don’t purposely break at least one law, however minor, on this day of all days then you’re missing a major point of the holiday.

    With that, I’m off to misbehave.

    Later, all!

    • mrfamous

      Well, every time I’m outside of the house without a mask today I’m breaking, well something. Not a law since that involves, you know, a legislature, but it’s disobeying an order from the local monarchs anyway.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Does it count that I ignored the mask sign on the Five Guys door?

    • Nephilium

      Grab your beer in one hand and take your car keys in the other, and then you go DRINK DRINK DRINK DRINK.

      I helped a bar violate a federal law they probably weren’t aware of today. My stainless steel growler doesn’t have the government warning on it for alcohol, so it’s technically illegal to fill it with beer.

      • Tres Cool

        That’s ok. I put gasoline into un-approved containers all time.

        COME GET ME!

      • blackjack

        Whatcha gonna do?

  31. AlmightyJB

    Fuck the left

    • CPRM

      Fuck the up, too!

    • Crusty Juggler

      Peyronie disease?

    • Nephilium

      If it makes you feel better, CLE has joined the fucking crowd here in Ohio. Looks like it’s time to order a plague mask.

      • Gender Traitor

        Likewise Dayton as of yesterday. Happily, I neither live nor work within the city limits, and it’s easy for me to avoid doing business therein.

      • Nephilium

        Yeah. I’m out in the suburbs, but I don’t see this staying contained. It gives too much of a hammer to the authorities to fuck with people. It means I need to cut out quite a few nice rides I do, as they head into Cleveland. I’d like to watch some fat cop try to run me down on foot while I’m in the saddle to give me a ticket.

        I was entertained that this popped up in the newsfeed today.

        Man robbed Euclid Walgreens while wearing face mask, police say

      • Tres Cool

        “I’d like to watch some fat cop try to run me down on foot while I’m in the saddle to give me a ticket.”

        He’d just shoot you. Duh

      • Nephilium

        I thought my white privilege would protect me!

      • AlmightyJB

        I know that 2 bars I frequent are enforcing it. Going to head out later. Luckily I’m on the outskirts of the city so I’m sure I’ll find someplace to go. County deaths going down. ICU CV utilization going down. Hospitalizations going down. Only cases going up. Spike in cases are from younger people with little to no symptoms. Liberals on bar Facebook pages really getting off on the mandate.

      • Nephilium

        One of the Ohio City places was flaunting the regulations all they could, and got noticed on social and local media for it. I made it a point to bike up there a couple weeks ago. The bagel shop I went to after spin classes mandated masks, and I’ve stopped going because of that. On the other hand, I also got an e-mail from the Free Ohio Now protest group asking me to support the police *sigh*.

      • AlmightyJB

        It’s all so insane

      • Nephilium

        And if I talk about it anywhere other then here (or very specific local bars) I’m the science denier.

    • Rebel Scum

      Hawt.

    • AlmightyJB

      No doubt:) I needed that smile, thanks for sharing:)

    • SandMan

      Wow, she didn’t even shoulder the gun.

    • CPRM

      Is that Mohawk National Anthem? Or The Organ Players National Anthem?

    • CPRM

      Skateboarding is abortion?

  32. mrfamous

    I wonder if people are gonna start stocking up on Chiefs and Blackhawks gear while they still can.

    • Nephilium

      I stocked up on Chief Wahoo shirts last year when they announced they would no longer be selling it outside of the stadium. The girlfriend has two items with Micky Mouse wearing a Chief Wahoo, I’m surprised that Disney was still letting that happen.

      • Nephilium

        Put me in charge, and I’d go full bore.

        But, I’d probably go with the Cleveland Crackers.

    • Timeloose

      Nice hadn’t heard that song by them before.

    • Ted S.

      It’s not the end of the world as we know it, and I don’t feel fine?

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      That’s the video that convinced me he’s a lurker here, possibly a commenter as well

      • Timeloose

        I see he wears gloves for no apparent reason….

      • Ownbestenemy

        But he is Arizonian

      • Ted S.

        So Razorfist is UCS?

      • UnCivilServant

        No, he’s annoying and doesn’t seem to know what a color camera is.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Go away we don’t need reason or calm! We need rage!

      • commodious spittoon

        Don’t stick your dick in crazy is pretty sensible domestic and foreign policy, too.

  33. CPRM

    Another PM5K America themed song – Miss America

  34. The Late P Brooks

    Masks, outside. It’s all about SCIENCE. Not signalling. Not in the least.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I commented on friend’s Facebook post where she was claiming she would curse at people and demand they wear the mask with the following:

      “Well that’s one way to get people to stay away from you.”

      • commodious spittoon

        Mind your own business, Karen.

    • Nephilium

      When patios opened up here, I biked up to a place for brunch. On the way home, I saw someone riding a motorcycle, in shorts, no helmet, short sleeve shirt, but he had a fucking paper mask on. I really wish I had the time to get a picture of it.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Now that’s funny.

      • Tres Cool

        I always love seeing some young asshole on a hayabusa or some other sportbike, wearing a $800 SHOEI helmet, in shorts, tank top, gym shoes.

      • Rebel Scum

        Lay the bike over and skid your skin to the bone, no worries. Protect the head!

      • Akira

        What cracks me up is the people wearing masks who have them only over their mouths, or they’re so loose that you can see their mouth and nose through the side.

      • Nephilium

        Based on casual observation, COVID is contracted through the neck.

      • CPRM

        Or, people wearing masks in the store who ignore the ‘shop this way’ signs and the even in normal times etiquette of traveling on the right side of an aisle.

      • AlmightyJB

        My wife neither wears a mask nor follows the signs. Lol.

      • CPRM

        I’m saying, if you’re scared enough to wear the mask, then follow the other damn rules. I’m being curtious by trying to follow the other rules to appease the faint of heart, but they seem to think the mask is the God Mode Code.

      • Nephilium

        Those are the same people who I’ve also noticed put their carts across the entire aisle blocking anyone from getting by while they decide what they want to buy. I’m getting to the point of stopping saying “Excuse me” and just pushing their cart out of the way with mine. There’s no contact then, which makes it safe, right?

      • Ownbestenemy

        I learned the hard way proper market travel at my technical school in Biloxi. I was dressed down by a decorated old veteran for not staying on the right side of the aisle and also for going the wrong way through the commissary.

        We became friends eventually.

      • Plinker762

        Did he have two carts? One full of milk and the other full of cigs? Lol

      • TARDIS

        Triangle Dweller +1

    • Nephilium

      Game off!

      Game On!

    • Gustave Lytton

      Unfortunately the police won’t arrest the criminals who are on the freeway.

      The idiot cunt gov here is blaming the police for the criminals, instead of herself for failing to call out the guard and end this horseshit

      https://www.oregonlive.com/portland/2020/07/gov-kate-brown-urges-portland-police-to-de-escalate-protests-to-avoid-senseless-cycle-of-violence.html

      The 19A was a mistake, and like other progressive mistakes, the inertia kept going for a while until the wheels came off.

      • kbolino

        The 19th Amendment didn’t affect the eligibility of women to hold office, and at least a couple of women were elected to office before women’s suffrage.

      • Gustave Lytton

        And several states/localities allowed women to vote prior as well. Perhaps 19A, like 17A, is more of a reflection of current affairs than breaking new ground. It did signal far more involvement of women in politics, something that i increasingly think is unhealthy, particularly in positions of power.

  35. The Late P Brooks

    I saw someone riding a motorcycle, in shorts, no helmet, short sleeve shirt, but he had a fucking paper mask on. I really wish I had the time to get a picture of it.

    Masked Man have heap powerful medicine. Him live forever.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Just trying to help out the EMTs on that one way trip to the OR.

  36. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I notice NPR is running an article on Douglass’s pre Civil War speech on slavery “What to the slave is the 4th of July?” with no mention of his post war writings.

    To them, we’re still living before the War

    • Suthenboy

      If they get their way we are.

  37. Suthenboy

    Given that all foods are native to areas where relatively little else is edible, arent all foods appropriated?

    • Nephilium

      First, define “traditional” food.

      Next, realize that all hot peppers and tomotoes are from America. That makes most meals that are considered “traditional” are appropriation from the new world.

      • Suthenboy

        That is my point….all ingredients are like that.
        That makes putting pineapple on pizza a multiple offense.
        I knew it!

      • Gustave Lytton

        I did it last night. Come at me bro!

      • Nephilium

        The amount of wilful ignorance it takes to complain about Americans “appropriating food” is stunning. FFS, look at the Banh Mi or the Cubano.

      • prolefeed

        Considering that Bahn Mi and Cubanos are often made by Americans for whom this food was standard fare for their ancestors, it’s not appropriation, it’s assimilation.

      • Nephilium

        I don’t think swiss cheese or pork were common here in America back in the day. And I’m all for food assimilation. I want more of it.

        /laments that there aren’t that many cajun places open here.

        I have to suffer with good Indian, Eastern European, German, Americana, burgers, tacos, and pizza.

      • westernsloper

        Salami is included in Tampa, where there is a large Italian population, but is not usually included in South Florida.

        Heresy!

      • Nephilium

        I’d go for either variation. The most recent Cubano I had wasn’t even pressed. I was dissapoint.

      • westernsloper

        I recently acquired one of

      • westernsloper

        these.

        Premature post comment. *swigs from beer*

      • UnCivilServant

        What country was it made in?

      • westernsloper

        Neph’s sandwich, my press, or my beer?

      • Nephilium

        western:

        I just use multiple cast iron skillets to press sandwiches at home

      • westernsloper

        Of course the press is made in China and why I could afford it. It is not the one I really want but it is economical. I would like smooth steel plates and these are cast. It does the job. And Neph, yes I have done that numerous times. The thing is an electricity hog though. You need two separate 20A circuits within cord reach to run both sides.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Yes please

    • AlmightyJB

      Seriously

  38. The Late P Brooks

    Just trying to help out the EMTs on that one way trip to the OR.

    Those rice rockets aren’t called “organ donor bikes” for no reason.

    • CPRM

      The thing this trope ignores, Scotty. If you drink enough you can’t die.

    • Count Potato

      She’s in great shape for 42.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      they got a new customer, The greatest Coffee commercial of all time!

  39. Rebel Scum

    Picked up some Devils Backbone lager. Time to fire up the grill. Doing some wings with s/p/g and a healthy sprinkle of The BBQ Rub.

  40. Mojeaux

    https://twitter.com/ali/status/1279125877956251648?s=21

    We are witnessing America break into two. It may not be the two you’re thinking of though.

    Two archetypes we can observe are found in the battle between:

    Thomas Edison
    Nikola Telsa

    One was wedded to Ego, the other to God.

    Marketing battled merit. History then lied.

    All sorts of profundities running around today.

    • Hyperion

      No, that’s not the break up. The breakup is between the Marxist and the not-Marxists.

      • Suthenboy

        I would say that Marxism is a strategy to gain power by people who do not accept the premise of inalienable rights. If you accept the premise of inalienable rights you must necessarily reject the premises of Marxism/Socialism or any system of authoritarianism.

        That is where the split is.

      • Hyperion

        The goal of Marxism is socialism. And like Lenin said, the goal of socialism is communism. This is nothing about equality or any rights, it’s about who’s going to wind up on top when you finally get communism. They all know that, except the useful idiots, and we know exactly what happens to them.

        So, if anyone wants to tell me how it doesn’t always turn out that way, I got a few names for them:

        Joseph Stalin.

        Mao Zedong.

        Pol Pot.

        Kim Jong-un.

        Fidel Castro.

        Nicholas Maduro.

        Xi Xinping

        Now I want them to name me the times it didn’t turn out that way? Anyone? Oh, and also, if I am right mistaken, all those movements started out being something something ‘the people’s or democratic socialism’. We can never get rid of idiots, we can just make sure they never get any power.

  41. dbleagle

    On this day in 1863 MG U.S. Grant accepted the surrender of the Confederate army encircled at Vicksburg. This victory severed the western Confederacy and opened the length of the Mississippi River for Union traffic.

    The next time the citizens of Vicksburg officially celebrated Independence Day was 1944.

    Good work Union Army.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Northern Devils!
      The South shall!, oh wait………………

      • dbleagle

        War is harsh and Sherman and Sheridan helped end the war sooner by burning the unprotected agricultural areas. Surviving letters from the families of those areas to the Confederate soldiers show a remarkable change in theme from “fight on” to “get home to save your family”. During the same period both Lee and Johnson lost soldiers to desertion at an ever increasing rate. The tactic worked because it: deprived the CSA army and home front from food; freed slaves through out those areas; and showed both CSA soldiers and civilians that their governments could not protect them.

    • Gender Traitor

      We just watched that episode of Grant on The History Channel last night (and set the next episode to record, just because it was getting a little late.) I’m always pleasantly surprised when The History Channel shows actual history in prime time.

      • Hyperion

        “I’m always pleasantly surprised when The History Channel shows actual history in prime time.”

        I’m not saying it was aliens, but…

      • Ted S.

        It was Nazis.

      • Gender Traitor

        Yup. I’ve always said that AHC, ostensibly “American Heroes Channel,” really stands for “Aliens and Hitler Channel.”

    • hayeksplosives

      Crazy that they were still so bitter about the date that they boycotted it so long after the Civil War.

      • Gender Traitor

        After we watched Grant, Tom T. mentioned that as late as the ’60s, you could see bumper stickers in parts of Missouri that said, “Hell no, I ain’t forgettin’!”

      • SandMan

        Still saw them on the 70s in La.

    • Hyperion

      I think that was yesterday.

    • Hyperion

      BTW, he was crying, just like all brave revolutionaries.

      • Q Continuum

        I’m pretty sure Ernie Lynch must have been crying at the end.

  42. Atreides

    Happy Independence Day, you glorious Glibertarians!

    Thank you for being a bastion of moderate insanity in entirely insane world. ??

    • hayeksplosives

      We do our best to be the good kind of crazy.

      Many of us are even sufficiently high functioning that we hold down jobs.

      • Atreides

        Don’t worry, hayeksplosives. I won’t hold that against you. 😉

  43. The Late P Brooks

    On this day in 1863 MG U.S. Grant accepted the surrender of the Confederate army encircled at Vicksburg. This victory severed the western Confederacy and opened the length of the Mississippi River for Union traffic.

    If you haven’t read Grant’s memoirs, you should. That part was impressive. And I’m not a military history buff, by any stretch of the imagination.

    As I recall Grant’s men had to build roads through a giant swamp.

    • dbleagle

      Grant’s Vicksburg Campaign was taught by the US Army even when I was at Ft Leavenworth in the late 1980’s. It was a masterful use of maneuver, audacity, and stick to it principles. Even Sherman thought Grant was crazy, but near the end saw the genius of it and applied the principles during his March to the Sea and March Through the Carolinas.

      It is an interesting battlefield area to see even today. One unique exhibit is the USN ironclad (USS Cairo) destroyed during the siege that has been restored.

      • Gender Traitor

        Was that ironclad the only one destroyed? If I’m recalling last night’s show correctly, Grant figured out that if they ran the ships close to the Vicksburg side of the river, the Confederate artillery overshot them.

  44. Hyperion

    Just got 5 lbs of NYS and Ribeyes at my door, and a dozen bi-color corn on the cob. Wife is doing her secret tenderize method on the steak. Food soon. Started raining but stopped now. Drank!

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Cheers!

    • Sean

      5 lbs? That’s like four steaks. ?

      • Hyperion

        It’s actually 8, 4 of each type is what I meant. They’re thick. Also, it’s just me and wifey.

      • Hyperion

        Or, duh, 10 lbs. 5lbs each, which is also 8 steaks total. I always buy like that.

      • Sean

        Perfect. ?

  45. The Late P Brooks

    Marketing battled merit. History then lied.

    That certainly falls into line with my War on Objective Reality trope.

  46. The Late P Brooks

    Well, I timed that just about perfectly wrong. Just as I went out and fired up the weed eater, it started to rain.

    d’oh!

  47. westernsloper

    Well I had planned on spending the day in the pool whilst smoking another batch of ribs but seems the thunderstorms are blocking my future skin cancer. The storms won’t go over me just around me ruining my sun. I blame Trump.

  48. The Late P Brooks

    That was a nice little thundersquall- cooled things right off.

  49. UnCivilServant

    Got my replacement cabin air filter today.

    Good news – I did have the correct torx bit to open the cover.

    Bad news – whoever designed this thing left less than half the necessary vertical clearance to get the filter in or out.

    I did eventually get the old filter out, and what had once been white was now almost carbon black – so changing it was not part of “the works” schenduled maintenance at the dealership. It took longer to get the new one in. I did, and when I started the car there was no doubt that the airflow was vastly improved.

    It was 106 inside the car, so I decided to shut it down and retreat inside my house where it’s merely 83.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I keep my house at 83, it’s a good temp when it’s 113, you notice the Delta T,

      • UnCivilServant

        I aim for 68, but only because I don’t want to pay to bring it down to a comfortable temp.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Money is why it’s 83, otherwise 78 is my target temp, 73 in Winter

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m from part of Greater Snowland, heat doesn’t agree with me.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I am a thin Xerocole, the Desert suits my metabolism,

      • Hyperion

        83 in the house here is very unconfortable, because you’ll be looking at more than 50% humidity and probably more. I keep it at 78 in the day and 69 at night.

      • Rory Dworkin

        Agreed fully, 10% humidity helps with the bills, and 83 dry is fine

      • Hyperion

        If the humidity is below 50% here and it’s only in the low-mid 80s, I can just leave all the doors and windows open, but once it’s upper 80s to low 90s outside and higher humidity, I have to turn the AC on.

      • UnCivilServant

        *looks at the rivers within spitting distance*

        I don’t get low humidity.

  50. Evan from Evansville

    Fun July 4th Fact!

    On this day in 2008, I prevented a girl from being raped in Germany. Saw her in a park. She was being FIERCELY accosted, yelled at and surrounded by four guys. I intervened. I fought with three of them. Got the shit literally kicked out of me, but I did land some blows. Broke my nose, cheek, and got a divot in the back of my head. Unconscious and snoring on the path. Eventually got up and went home. Kept on living. Went to a picnic with friends the next day. Then impressed my professor in an oral German history test. He asked if i wanted to delay so I could recover. “Psh. I’m already here. Let’s do it.” I got an A-, even with my shitty German.

    Eddie was there. He beat the shit out of the other guy and woke me up and took me home.
    Keep on living folks. That’s what it’s about. You do you. People like me NEED to go out to recover. I can’t and won’t cower in a corner inside. I need to explore and prove to myself that it’s not over and pain and despair aren’t winning. They ain’t. I ain’t shook nor will I be.
    Twelve years later I hope that girl is doing fantastic. That was a fight for liberty and it’s amazing it happened on this day back then. Those guys can go fuck themselves. That was my version of Independence Day. It was Me versus Three Turks. They think they won. But they didn’t. They got me down, but I did my part. I won the battle I wanted to fight.

    I forgot to add and just to be clear: She totally got away from the imminent danger she was in. Those guys won the battle, but she got away. I won the war by taking the beating so she could escape.

    I have a picture of me RIGHT after it happened. I am bloody and broken and concussed. It’s (no sarcasm) my favorite picture of myself. I know what it represents.

    • UnCivilServant

      You need to stop stopping the ground with your head, man.

      • Evan from Evansville

        Ha! You’re correct in the logical sense. I have lived a very odd and rough-and-tumble-beaten lifestyle. It isn’t for everyone and I didn’t necessarily choose it for myself. Events happened along with my personality.

        But I maintain positivity. I don’t complain. I am not angry. I am proud of my ability to accomplish what others would be broken by. If I passed on my current situation to another, there is no way in hell they would deal with it as stoically and well as I have.

        Avoid pain, but don’t be afraid of it. Until it’s too much. Even then, fear won’t help you. Complaining doesn’t help you.

        It is impossible to understand how fundamentally angry I am with how people in the world are reacting to COVID. This is what you’re afraid of? And I’m not afraid of what I’ve been through? Uh, you do you. No one is stopping you. Don’t you dare te
        ll me how I am supposed to live or what I am supposed to be afraid of. I’ve stepped up from a lot of damage. I know what it’s like. That’s real. I don’t think about it. Don’t tell me some random mutation is a reason why I have to act a certain way or how I am to treat the “danger.” Uh. Try something painful. You do it. Then we’ll talk. If you haven’t, then shut the fuck up. Even you have, I ain’t listening. I’ve got my own shit to deal with. That’s enough. I ain’t gonna add to it.

      • UnCivilServant

        I was only cracking a joke, if it sounded negative, that was not my intent

      • Evan from Evansville

        I didn’t take anything that you said as being negative! I know you and have worked for you!

        I’m actually very, very interested in talking soon about future possibilities. I’ve got an editing business coming up and I want to work for writers. This will be a thing that gets mentioned more in-depth on Monday after I get off of this vacation with the family in Grand Rapids, MI.

      • Rory Dworkin

        The thing you did, was observed………………

      • Ted S.

        Welcome, Tulpa!

      • UnCivilServant

        I’ll bet you he works in HVAC in Arizona, and has a fondess for Korean cars.

      • Adama, Yusef Adama

        Fish Hook!

      • Ted S.

        So it’s Yusef Tediously Changed His Handle Again commenting….

      • Ted S.

        He’s right up there with Don Escaped Another Tedious Handle Change.

      • Adama, Yusef Adama

        Why yes it is
        Tedious
        Everyday
        Dude

      • Nephilium

        /raises pint glass to Evan

      • EvilSheldon

        Oh, indeed.

        /salutes with rocks glass

    • westernsloper

      Now that is a good story. ?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Good for you man.

      It’s nice to know for a fact how you would act.

      • R C Dean

        My thoughts exactly.

    • hayeksplosives

      Evan from Evansville rocks!

      • Evan from Evansville

        Thanks for you kind words!

        But…ON the rocks? Eh. Just give it to me straight!

      • Rory Dworkin

        Take care of yourself, you’re running out of lives too quickly, save some for late,
        Cheers!

    • Hyperion

      “imminent danger”

      I initially read that as ‘immigrant danger’, hope that’s not racist.

      • Suthenboy

        They both work.

        Yes Evan, you did win. You are a stand up guy.

        That is the sort of thing that happens in places where you are not allowed themeans to defend yourself or others.
        Around here that would get you shot by about ten different people in 5 seconds.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Awesome!

    • Sean

      Damn dude. Good on you for getting involved.

  51. Nephilium

    Based on comments on last night threads, I’ve started double checking the amount of liquid that my tiki glasses will hold, and realized that I can’t make any blue drinks as I’m out of blue curacao.

    • Rory Dworkin

      Food coloring FTW!

      • Nephilium

        Even if it’s correct, it still feels wrong.

        I did ask the girlfriend to pick up citrus fruits on the way home from work, so am I shitlording correctly or do I need to set another sour beer up for drinking tonight?

      • Adama, Yusef Adama

        I can’t find a sour in this town right now, drink one for me,
        Cheers!

      • Nephilium

        I cracked a kriek yesterday. The girlfriend was not a fan (she generally doesn’t like beers to begin with). I’ve put down a 2012 Boulevard Saison Brett for tonight if I’m feeling up to it. If I want to go big, I’ve still got a bomber of Cantillon sitting in the basement as well.

  52. Suthenboy

    Earlier I had stepped around the side of the house to see a man about a dog and while I was standing there I noticed an odd shape in the dirt in our grow bed. After poking around a little bit I discovered a caste brass elephant with it’s trunk raised. It is about 4″ tall and 4″ long, solid and weights about a couple of pounds. I have no idea how it could have gotten there. I recognize it as being an Indian touristy knick knack thing but how it got here is a complete mystery.

    Wife is equally puzzled about it being found in our grow bed but tells me an elephant totem with it’s trunk raised is a symbol for good luck.

    Yes, I just got home from buying a Powerball ticket.

    • UnCivilServant

      We need a pciture of the elephant.

      • Suthenboy

        Give me a few minutes and I will post it.

    • The Hyperbole

      I believe for the good luck you need to make sure the elephants trunk points towards your front door, or that it doesn’
      Mt I can remember which, but it’s definitely one or the other.

      • Suthenboy

        I suspected there was something like that but I am too lazy to look it up.
        Photo link below.

      • Q Continuum

        TH is back!

        Sup G?

      • The Hyperbole

        Oh you know SSDD, I’ve been around just lurking more than commemting, nice weather and busy season and what not.

      • Q Continuum

        It’s been an unusually cool summer here, which I don’t mind. Lower electricity bill.

  53. westernsloper

    Sun came back out so I ventured back into the pool. I had a catastrophic inflatable pool chair failure causing rapid loss of pressure that sunk me in nothing flat. It was terrifying. IT’S DANGEROUS OUT THERE FOLKS BE CAREFUL! Good thing I was wearing my mask or I would be a goner.

    • Adama, Yusef Adama

      Il Ducey outlawed Tubing, good thing my Kayak is pointy,
      CWAA!

      • mexican sharpshooter

        For the love of god, please wear pants. I’m downstream from you.

      • Q Continuum

        People in Tucson are drinking their own piss by now.

      • Adama, Yusef Adama

        You actually drink the water?
        Ewwwwww

    • R C Dean

      “rapid loss of pressure that sunk me in nothing flat”

      It happens to everybody. More often as you get older. Err, I’m told.

  54. Old Man With Candy

    There’s a theme with today’s post titles. “For a magazine called Treason…”

    • Adama, Yusef Adama

      To Be Sure,
      /Brushes Hair………

    • Tres Cool

      Treason is the reason for the season ?

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Funny how that works out.

    • Where's the Omelette?

      Drink! ?

    • J. Frank Parnell

      using a hockey stick to move a beaver

      Is that a euphemism for Peyronie’s?

  55. Suthenboy

    https://postimg.cc/NKbJgsB7

    Brass elephant. Appears to have been in the ground for a while judging by the surface. Also appears to have some traces of some sort of colored paper elephant clothing.

    • Gender Traitor

      Huh! And I get the impression that your house is well set back from any road. Is that correct? Did you happen to have dirt hauled in for your garden (or wherever this turned up?)

      • Suthenboy

        No dirt hauled in. I dug it up from the banks of a slough behind my house because that is soil deposits from the bayou’s old path…rich stuff. As far as I know no one else has lived here for….decades. Maybe 50 years. Once while digging to plant a tree at the bottom. of my hill the first thing I noticed was the smell of cow manure. This has been timber for at least 40 years but obviouly someone raised cattle here some time before that.
        I also found evidence of fire and bits of glass and metal, obviously a trash fire so someone had a house here or nearby at one time.

        Most unlikely are the rock chips and evidence of Indians (feather) that you find on every hilltop near water in LA…they were probably around for 15K or so years but I dont think they travelled to India (dot) much.

    • Tres Cool

      Wasn’t that ‘Brass Elephant’ a Beastie Boys song ?

      • Q Continuum

        Brass Monkey.

        1 40 oz OE. Proceed to drink half. Refill with OJ. You now have a Brass Monkey.

      • Tres Cool

        …that Funky Monkey

      • Plinker762
      • EvilSheldon

        We’re offered Moet, we don’t mind Chivas,
        Wherever we go, we bring the Monkey with us!

      • l0b0t

        Twas also the name of a dive bar in Marathon, FL back in the mid 1970s.

    • Sean

      Neat.

  56. UnCivilServant

    How can you have a japanese restaurant and have your tempura be worse than your fried rice? Seriosuly, I was surprised to even see fried rice on the menu, but it was the best thing in my order.

    (It was too hot to cook, so I decided to try a restaurant I haven’t ordered from before)

    • Gustave Lytton

      Most of the “Japanese” restaurants around here are run by Koreans or Latinos. The quality is pretty poor as is most Chinese food, either authentic or Americanized. I blame Sysco.

      • Nephilium

        There was one decent Chinese place in the Cleveland area. Even with that it took multiple visits for them to believe me when I said I wanted it spicy.

        At least the Indian places never argue when you say you want it spicy.

    • UnCivilServant

      Sheesh, there’s like a quarter inch of oil-soaked panko on this.

      “Oil-soaked” is not a good descriptor for most foods, let alone tempura.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Tempura and panko are two different breadings.

      • UnCivilServant

        They sold it as a tempura, but it’s definately panko.

  57. hayeksplosives

    I’ve heard surprisingly little from Bernies official campaign and his hordes of Berniebots lately.

    Did they give up, or has the DNC muzzled them again? Seems all this BLM/socialism marches would be right up their alley.

    • Suthenboy

      It is up their alley, that’s why you haven’t heard from them…they are busy.

      • westernsloper

        Exactly

    • J. Frank Parnell

      Seems all this BLM/socialism marches would be right up their alley.

      Eh, I don’t know, this seems mostly SJW-driven and there’s kind of a People’s Front of Judea vs. Judean People’s Front thing going on between the Bernie Bros and the SJWs.

      • Suthenboy

        I think I am pretty near the ‘let God sort ’em out’ stage. I can’t tell any of them apart. They are all Marxists who want to burn the country and put deplorables in mass graves.

    • R C Dean

      You’ve been watching the Berniebots on the news. All those Marxists in the streets? Berniebots.

  58. Mojeaux

    The featured image for this post (on the front page) looks like the girl’s on the toilet straining to poop.

    • Q Continuum

      No reason she can’t be defecating and getting swole simultaneously.

  59. The Late P Brooks

    From Q’s link:

    Santiago stated, “Kicking off the Independence Day Weekend, President Trump will be at Mount Rushmore, where he’ll be standing in front of a monument of two slave owners and on land wrestled away from Native Americans told that uh, be focusing on the effort to ‘tear down our country’s history.’”

    CNN anchor Jake Tapper made no effort to ameliorate the situation, saying simply, “All right. Leyla Santiago, with that report, thank you so much.”

    As Santiago delivered her nasty characterization of Washington and Jefferson, CNN was running a nasty chyron that mocked July 4 by putting ‘Independence” in scare quotes as it stated, “Reexamining ‘Independence’ Day,” with the subheading, “As Americans grapple with racial reckoning, some are uncertain how to celebrate Independence Day.”

    I think I’ll celebrate the day by doing my part to keep one of my favorite bar owners out of government mandated poverty.

    Every body a CNN “news” can go fuck themselves.

    • Rhywun

      I like “culture” in scare-quotes too.

    • UnCivilServant

      What happens if you boil a bleeding bunny?

      • Sean

        I don’t think that is going to save it.

    • Suthenboy

      I have never had a CZ….that looks like a fine choice. Hmmm.

      My Kimber is single stack and I have a few ten round mags for it.

    • EvilSheldon

      If you get a Shadow 2, you’ll get the capacity of a 9×19 and the recoil of a .22LR.

  60. DEG

    I’m late.

    It is good those gyms opened in defiance of the Gualeiter’s orders. It’s good you went.

    Great Divide makes great beer.