IFLA: The Five of Swords Edition of the Horoscope for the Week of July 26.

by | Jul 26, 2020 | Advice, IFLA | 152 comments

Hopefully, when this goes live I’ll be blasting away and earning excellent scores.  Lets see what the stars have to say about my chances, shall we?

The only alignment is Mercury with the Earth and Jupiter retrograde, which doesn’t have a very specific application towards the shooting sports.  If you’re the head of a family, it’s a warning that you’re going to do something sufficiently stupid that it becomes a story that gets retold.  Good luck with that.

Shooting is ruled by Sagittarius (of course) with an assist from Mars.  Sagittarius being empty doesn’t give any hints (at least Saturn’s not there) and Mars is in Aries, indicating that I should try and be more aggressive than normal.  The Moon in Libra is interesting in this context:  a change sign linking up with a stability one is usually a bad thing, but in an event where being able to move and quickly transition while maintaining balance is important, it’s a good sign.

Venus in Gemini means continued good fortune for those who are coupled, and the Sun in Leo means that it’s getting really hot outside.

Now let’s talk about one of the most misunderstood cards in the deck, and how it will be read in the Glibertarian tarot, which should come out any year now.  Well any year except this one.

Five of Swords. If you forget, you can tell by noticing that there are swords on it, and also that there are five of them.

According to the Key to the Tarot (copyright expired because it’s not owned by Disney even though it’s only 109 years old) the Five of Swords is described as:

A disdainful man looks after two retreating and dejected figures. Their swords lie upon the ground. He carries two others on his left shoulder, and a third sword is in his right hand, point to earth. He is the master in possession of the field. Divinatory Meanings: Degradation, destruction, revocation, infamy, dishonour, loss, with the variants and analogues of these. Reversed: The same; burial and obsequies.

So first of all, yes, the main figure is smug AF.  One might even say he’s got a… snarky attitude?  I think it’s safe to say that He’s a Glib.  Furthermore, it’s the people he’s defeated that are suffering the dishonor and loss, not him.  I mean look at the figure furthest down field — he’s crying!  Also, while the Glib is by no means poor (the tunic he’s wearing over his other garments has decorated sleeves) he’s not wealthy.  He has no jewelry, not even a belt.  Contrast that with the guys who’s asses he’s just kicked:  they’ve got slashed pantaloons and fashionable, purely decorative, useless capes.  It’s dangerous to read too much into a depiction of weapons and armor that were made from the middle of the 18th c. to the middle of the 20th, they are notoriously unrealistic.  But I think it’s safe to say that the defeated combatants weren’t fighting Florentine style, so our red-headed protagonist has beaten not only them but two other people who are not shown on the card.  He’s kind of a badass.  The descriptive text tells us that the two swords lying on the ground belong to the two defeated rich guys.  However, the sword in the figures right hand is described as “a” sword, not “his.”  It’s possible that he’s defeated five opponents.  It’s possible that the fight started as five armed people against one unarmed person.  In any case, the card shows victory against the odds.   The description does specify that the sword is in the right hand (symbol of preferred action) and with the point towards the earth.  This has many meanings.  but the four that are most prominent here are:

  • Orientation towards nonaggression (aggression is indicated by having the point towards an enemy)
  • Orientation against vanity (glorification of the figure would be represented by carrying to point upward)
  • Ownership of the area (the right hand is connected directly to the ground through the sword — this is also explicitly called out in the text)
  • Conflict is resolved (the sword is not in a position of immediate use)

It’s good to notice that he is gathering the spoils of the fight, but he hasn’t stripped the defeated parties of their purses.  Again, this doesn’t show a brigand who has just rolled a pair of college kids, it’s someone who was minding his own business, got fucked with, and turned the tables.

One last point that’s a bit subtle but can definitely prove relevant in a reading is the weather shown.  A storm is coming in.  The clouds are gray and streaky, the water is being blown into whitecaps (and notice that this particular body of water is a sheltered bay)  and the main figure’s hair is being blown back from the wind.  Pamela Coleman was illustrating this card before anime hair was a thing.

So why does a card that tells such a good story portend such bad things according to A. E. Waite’s description?  Well remember how I mentioned that occult writings often encode or otherwise misdirect in their plain text?  This is one of those times.  It’s a particularly elegant example of that since the description is accurate, just as long as you look at it from a different point of view.   It’s the illusionist drawing the attention of the audience towards something (in this case the background figures) so they don’t notice how the trick is being played.

Leo:  Page of Coins reversed – Prodigality, dissipation, liberality, luxury, unfavorable news

Virgo:  7 of Coins – money, business, barter, altercation, quarrels, innocence, ingenuity, purgation

Libra:  7 of Wands –  valor, discussion, wordy strife, negotiations, war of trade, barter, competition, success

Scorpio:  5 of Swords reversed – As above, except in this case you’re the crying people in the background

Sagittarius:  2 of Cups reversed – Unified opposition, foolish alliances, broken promises

Capricorn:  Queen of Swords reversed – Malice, bigotry, artifice, prudery, bale, deceit

Aquarius:  Ace of Swords – Triumph, the excessive degree in everything, conquest, force, love, hate

Pisces:  8 of Wands – Activity in undertakings, the path of such activity, swiftness, great haste, great hope, speed

Aries:  The Empress reversed – Light, truth, the unravelling of involved matters, public rejoicings, vacillation

Taurus:  8 of Cups reversed – Great joy, happiness, feasting.

Gemini:  The Sun – Material happiness, fortunate marriage, contentment

Cancer:  5 of Wands – Imitation, competition, gold, gain, opulence

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

152 Comments

  1. Gender Traitor

    Scorpio: 5 of Swords reversed – As above, except in this case you’re the crying people in the background

    So…some Glib is gonna make me cry??

    Nah – never gonna happen!

    • JD is in the United Karendom

      *kicks GT in the shin and runs away*

    • Grumbletarian

      It might mean we Scorpios should avoid this site for a week, lest we rouse the wrath of a Glib?

    • EvilSheldon

      This actually fit. I’m at a shooting match today, and I won a pretty nice piece of gear in the match goody bag.

      • Sean

    • Gustave Lytton

      Sunday chicken for me. Been doing this one for a couple weeks straight and working out the problems with my cooking technique

      https://tvwbb.com/threads/roadside-chicken.33874/

      Been using the snake method (minus the water pan) with cherry chips

      https://perthbbqschool.com/blog/snake-method

      Right now trying to find the right amount of initial fire and number of parallel briquets. Under 300F and it just sits for hours without getting that nice char even when directly above the heat.

      • Sean

        Which chicken parts?

        I never had roadside chicken.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Whole chicken cut in halves.

        If I was better, I’d make more broth out of the backbone, giblets, and trimmings, but there’s already plenty in the freezer.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I’ve never had it from roadside stands, but similar to chicken feeds from the American Legion, fire department, and other fundraisers.

  2. Mojeaux

    Taurus: 8 of Cups reversed – Great joy, happiness, feasting.

    I could really use some. Lost thing is still lost.

    • Sean

      That sucks. Sorry. ?

    • TARDIS

      Sorry, Mojo.

  3. Rebel Scum

    Triumph, the excessive degree in everything, conquest, force, love, hate

    #Winning

  4. Don Escaped Spring Training

    Gemini: The Sun – Material happiness, fortunate marriage, contentment

    40 Wall Street actually was the second-tallest building in downtown Manhattan, and it was actually, before the World Trade Center, was the tallest — and then, when they built the World Trade Center, it became known as the second tallest. And now it’s the tallest – a stable genius

  5. Hyperion

    STFU! Capricorns are people too!

    • Negroni Please

      I thought they were sea goats

  6. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: 2 of Cups reversed – Unified opposition, foolish alliances, broken promises

    I’ll try not to get my hopes up.

    • Negroni Please

      Wow. Is the Libertarian party a sagittarius?

      • R C Dean

        Formed on December 11, so yes.

  7. The Late P Brooks

    I mean look at the figure furthest down field — he’s crying!

    Are you sure he’s not texting?

    “Totally PWND that guy, LOL!”

  8. TARDIS

    Apparently, I got drunk and got an Imgur account last night.

    The responses to this are pretty good.

  9. Negroni Please

    Ok wtf? We’ve all lost socks to the dryer gods, but the interdimensional wormhole seems to be growing. I just lost a pillowcase.

    Washer and dryer are about 8 steps from the bed. Bedding goes in…bedding comes out… one pillowcase missing. Nowhere to be found.

    I am perplexed. Is this the event that breaks me?

    • LJW

      Did you wash it with the sheets? Sometimes I find they get tangled up into the fitted sheet.

      • Negroni Please

        Yes. But all bedding has been separated and checked. Bed is made. One pillowcase lost in the aether

      • hayeksplosives

        Pillow case to be featured in a Forensic Files episode at a later date…

      • TARDIS

        I got a bunch of crap at work one time. Someone noticed a lump in the sleeve of my shirt. I figured it was a dryer sheet. Nope; wife’s panty. It’s helpful to be completely awake when getting dressed.

      • Fourscore

        I noticed a lump in the sheet rock one time. My daughter’s ex-husband had covered the thermostat box. I had to retrain that guy every week end.

        A 4 X 2? A 6 X 2? An 8 X 4 sheet of sheet rock?

    • Derpetologist

      I find that the space next to the lint trap is a good place to look for missing socks. Stuff will fall down there and you won’t know unless you actively search it.

    • Sean

      Maybe you’ve got a poltergeist ?.

    • westernsloper

      It is wadded up in the rubber door gasket in your front load washer. In mine, I found money I did not remember I had.

  10. Ted S.

    Gemini: The Sun – Material happiness, fortunate marriage, contentment

    I’m getting married this week???

    • Sean

      Congrats

      • TARDIS

        I hope there is cake.

      • UnCivilServant

        Cake?

        *rushes forward, in search of baked goods*

    • westernsloper

      Glad it is you and not me. I will take the material happiness and contentment, you can have the marriage.

    • Chafed

      Good for you Ted. It’s about time.

  11. hayeksplosives

    I pasted a chunk of Postman’s Amusing ourselves to death prologue in the previous thread. Didn’t want to hijack this one with a text wall.

    The preface contrast the Orwell vision with the Huxley vision of dystopian futures.

    • hayeksplosives

      Nice comment “She’s got that WALL of moms figured out.”

      • hayeksplosives

        Whose brainchild is the “moms and dads protesting” thing?

        Are moms and dads now elevated to hero status automatically just because their naughty bits work and they procreated?

      • Derpetologist

        I remember laughing a lot the first time I heard someone refer to a kid as a fuck trophy.

      • hayeksplosives

        Snort.

        As an intern, I worked with a crusty old technician who was rolling his eyes at an upcoming baby shower at work.

        He grumbled “Congratulations. You’ve just done the most natural thing in the world.”

      • C. Anacreon

        One of the all-time best Onion headlines was “Miracle of Birth Happens for Ten Billionth Time”

      • Negroni Please

        I like that one. I usually just refer to them as crotch spawn

      • Derpetologist

        It would be nice to have a son, who would grow strong in the ways of the derp like his father before him.

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bv20ZoBcdO8

        I forget the guy’s name, but he was a blues guitar player who abandoned his son at a young age. Many years later, he heard a guitar music that sounded very similar to his own, and it turned out that it was from his son who had become a blues guitar player too. The apple does not fall far from the tree.

        Unfortunately, the son wanted nothing to do with his father by that time.

      • kbolino

        Finding sympathetic potential victims worked well for Hamas, why not try it here?

      • mrfamous

        No, they’re elevated to hero status because of their political views.

      • Rhywun

        Goes back at least to MADD.

  12. peachy rex

    Today’s marker of how 2020 this year is – I’m looking forward to moving to *Maryland*. Sheeeeit.

    • Derpetologist

      I guess that’s a step up from North Korea or possible San Francisco, freedom-wise.

  13. Negroni Please

    https://www.cnn.com/2020/07/26/health/us-coronavirus-sunday/index.html

    150 experts (including doctors, scientists, teachers, and nurses) write letter urging a total shutdown in Anerica.

    Apparently this is news. 150 people have opinions. To even get to that epic number, we have to include teachers and nurses as ‘experts’.

    Seems legit.

    Shut er down folks.

    • Derpetologist

      I haven’t been reading as much outrage porn lately, but I did stumble upon this:

      https://www.alternet.org/2020/07/heres-your-field-guide-to-the-5-main-types-of-pandemic-deniers/

      I did enjoy this bit of unintentional honesty:

      ***
      The eye roller is disturbing for the fact that they have a long history of not taking a single critical issue in this nation seriously. So, coupled with their eye rolling over what they perceive as coronavirus hype, they are also likely to believe that we have no racism, no sexism, in fact, no significant problems whatsoever. For them, liberals manufacture issues that aren’t real so that they can create social anxiety and elevate their policy platform. These are the people who disparage the Black Lives Matter movement as reverse racism and mock #MeToo as a problem of thin skin.
      ***

      • Drake

        Same assholes who don’t take climate change, acid rain, and white supremacy seriously.

      • Fourscore

        Looks in mirror, gotcha!

      • Viking1865

        I made french toast this morning. The custard was whole milk and six egg yolks with some nice local honey, the bread was thick cut white bakery loaf. Made with Euro style butter, drizzled in maple syrup. Thick cut bacon on the side, Irish coffee to drink.

        That paragraph was richer than my breakfast.

      • Rhywun

        That’s crazy talk.

      • kbolino

        It’s hard to take anything seriously when everything is dialed up to 11. Every single issue is an existential crisis. Say something out of line with the current trans-activist orthodoxy and you are “literally erasing the existence of all trans people”. Argue that police violence is not solely or even primarily a problem of racism and it must mean that you want every single black person to get murdered by the cops. Point out that climate modeling makes inconsistent and inaccurate predictions and you want the Earth and everyone on it to literally burn to death. State that abortion on demand at all stages of the pregnancy is not a position you can morally support and that means you want women chained up in dungeons whose only purpose in life is to be birth machines for the patriarchy. Express skepticism about mandatory HPV vaccination and you want children to be dying in the streets of polio and smallpox. On and on, ad nauseum. Every argument they don’t like is reduced to absurdity in seconds flat, while every argument they do like is motte-and-bailey’ed for hours on end until you have no idea what any of the words mean any more.

        How can anyone not roll their eyes when the next “crisis” comes along?

      • Fourscore

        I’m all crisied out. I can’t do another one. Seems like they are coming faster and faster, no rest time between. Need another trillion to make it go away

      • kbolino

        Need another trillion to make it go away

        If only paying the Danegeld got rid of the Dane.

      • Derpetologist

        And save us, O Lord, from the fury of the Karens.

        ***
        793 AD—In this year dire forewarnings came over the land of the Northumbrians and miserably terrified the people; these were extraordinary whirlwinds and lightnings, and fiery dragons were seen flying in the air. A great famine soon followed these omens; and soon after that, in the same year, the havoc of heathen men miserably destroyed God’s church on Lindisfarne.”

        The “miserable heathen” portrayed in this account from the Anglo-Saxon Chronicle were the Vikings. Popular legend portrays them as swift, merciless marauders; pagans who attacked the holy places of Ireland, Scotland, and elsewhere without regard for anything but accumulating wealth. No wonder Celtic monks prayed regularly, “From the fury of the Northmen, O Lord deliver us.”
        ***

        ***
        In the late eighth century, Ireland was a land of petty chieftains, all of whom fought vigorously and frequently to become High King.
        ***

        The more things change…

      • mindyourbusiness

        One way to handle situations like that: Don’t play chess with a pigeon.

      • UnCivilServant

        Or you kill the pigeon and cook squab for dinner.

      • kbolino

        The problem is that it seems the pigeons outnumber the rest of us anymore.

    • mrfamous

      Most of these people will not, under any circumstances, even tolerate someone daring to mention that all of these “interventions” come attached to potential serious costs in implementing them. That sort of thinking is unacceptable because it stands in the way of what they already KNOW needs to be done.

      That sort of certainty is a bigger disease than COVID-19 could ever hope to be.

      • Viking1865

        They don’t teach tradeoffs in public school. They only teach solutions, and the solutions are always whatever the Left is pushing that month.

        School is designed to produce rule followers, not skeptics.

      • Gustave Lytton

        And those that do tolerate it, handwave those very real costs away in all sort of childish logic.

      • Nephilium

        When I was out the other day, I noticed the large number of stores and restaurants that went from open, to temporarily closed, to permanently closed.

      • Gustave Lytton

        The wife asked me about it yesterday, and I realized I’ve seen very few empty storefronts or restaurants so far. I expect that when the state eviction moratorium expires (if it ever does) there will be even more.

      • Fourscore

        Isn’t rent free over at the end of July? Then what?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Sept 30 here, and then they have 6 months to pay it back before they can be evicted. For now. I don’t think they have the intestinal fortitude to hold to that.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Second they being the state legislature.

      • Rhywun

        Same here. Just lots and lots of closed businesses in a holding pattern.

      • Nephilium

        I’m not looking forward to the next year or so as the true fallout hits. It’s going to be bad.

  14. Drake
    • Viking1865

      Haiti, of course, was a country where giant population of black people were held as literal slaves or as second class citizens by a white minority.

      So, you know, exactly the same thing as the 2020 US. No differences at all. 1 for 1 comparison.

      • kbolino

        Right-thinking whites aren’t really white or something.

        I don’t understand it. There’s some kind of category difference that I can’t quite discern. There’s white people and then there’s white people. The latter are a very powerful and very dangerous group that is a rapidly dwindling tiny minority, except when it’s convenient to claim otherwise, that is nevertheless in control of everything and the reason for all of the problems, but any day now their oppressive undemocratic rule will be overthrown and the 95% of the country that’s not white-white will finally get to realize their peaceful democratic ambitions.

        No doubt they’ve also gamed the Census Bureau to make it look like whites are 65% of the population.

    • Tres Cool

      SCHWING!

    • Drake

      And there’s your triple – Peter Green, Regis, and de Havilland. Everyone else in show biz can relax now.

      • Ted S.

        You missed John Saxon.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Unfortunately, the son wanted nothing to do with his father by that time.

    “My name is Sue. How do you do?”

    • Derpetologist

      Oh, well played. That is the perfect song for that.

      I knew a guy whose last name could be interpreted in slang as “male member of below average size”. He was an imposing fellow.

  16. Sean

    Random – I saw a personalized license plate yesterday – “INTJ”

    • kinnath

      Kill the INTJs

      /INTP

      • Derpetologist

        I’d say INTPs are about half the folks here, including yours truly.

        Myers-Briggs: INTP

        “Seek to develop logical explanations for everything that interests them. Theoretical and abstract, interested more in ideas than in social interaction. Quiet, contained, flexible, and adaptable. Have unusual ability to focus in depth to solve problems in their area of interest. Skeptical, sometimes critical, always analytical.”

      • kinnath

        I think there are several INTJs as well.

      • Negroni Please

        ENTPs represent. Some of us can actually make eye contact with our interlocutors!

      • kinnath

        eye contact

        Say what!?

      • UnCivilServant

        If he makes eye contact, it means he’s going to attack, defend yourself!

      • UnCivilServant

        I doubt your numbers there.

      • Derpetologist

        I sense a great opportunity for a poll.

      • UnCivilServant

        They already took one a while back.

        I declined to be classified.

  17. Incentives Matter

    Gemini: The Sun – Material happiness, fortunate marriage, contentment

    If this is what this week’s portents are for Gemini, they done f*cked up good, and it’s only Sunday.

    • Hyperion

      Them is mums!

  18. The Late P Brooks

    150 experts (including doctors, scientists, teachers, and nurses) write letter urging a total shutdown in Anerica.

    Apparently this is news. 150 people have opinions. To even get to that epic number, we have to include teachers and nurses as ‘experts’.

    Seems legit.

    EXPERTS

  19. Drake

    I haven’t watched any baseball yet. Don’t think I’ll be making an effort.

    • Hyperion

      I’ve sworn off the foozball. All I asked for was to be entertained, not preached at. Fuck them.

    • Don Escaped Spring Training

      PIT@STL starting now; it will be the sixth regular season game I’ve carded out so far

      Capricorn Queen of Swords reversed – Malice, bigotry, artifice, prudery, bale, deceit: just win, baby

    • Tres Cool

      Reds v. Tigers on right now. I could really care less at this point, but its reassuring to have the game playing on 700WLW as background noise. Seems like a more normal summer.

      • Don Escaped Spring Training

        I carded yesterday’s game this morning: kinda sick to watch a fellow NLC team lose to DET, but this division ain’t gonna win itself.

        My first game was CIN @ STL: The Big Red Machine of 1975 vs Forsch, Gibson, Sizemore, Simmons, Hrabosky, McBride, and, my favorite of all time, Brock.

  20. Derpetologist

    Not an Onion article, somehow

    Feminist, Nonbinary Collective Portrays Latin American Culture In Unique Fashion

    ***
    Photography has a history of being controlled by the male gaze and while female photographers have existed and thrived, who gets visibility is still in the hands of men, according to data from the World Press Photo State of Photography study.
    ***

    [Kif sigh]

    • Hyperion

      They may wish to speak with a few actual Latin Americans. Of course, they want to speak FOR them instead.

      • Hyperion

        That video won’t load for me, tried 3 different browsers, it just keeps trying to load…

      • Derpetologist

        It’s just a bunch of newsroom types pronouncing Spanish words in exaggerated ways. Then they eat en-CHEE-lah-dahs.

        Considering the number of English learners who can’t tell the difference between ship and sheep or with and whiz, I think Americans can relax a little about not saying foreign words right.

      • Hyperion

        “I think Americans can relax a little about not saying foreign words right”

        Daily experience in my house.

    • kbolino

      Isn’t being a feminist and being nonbinary kind of contradictory? There is a range of genders, but one of them is more important than all the others?

      • Hyperion

        I think non-binary is higher on the diversity prize totem pole right now, but having another checkbox is always desirable. So, POC, non-binary feminist would probably get you a few notches higher that just one of those checkboxes.

  21. Tres Cool

    Thanks to our governor (and local pubic health director), masks in stores are mandatory. My meijer even had an employee outside last week, policing people trying to enter bareback. However, I was just in the store and there were maybe 5 or 6 people w/o any face covering. I hope this is a bellwether for how much people are fed-up.

    • Hyperion

      They got rid of most of the social distancing BS around here. You’re supposed to wear masks in stores, but no one at the door checking, no more only so many in the store at a time, and all of the lines on the floors are gone. People are starting to act more normal and most seem more relaxed, except for when you’re driving and they still act like the same assholes they always were.

      • kbolino

        You can take the driver out of Maryland, but you can’t take the Maryland out of the driver.

      • Hyperion

        Even worse when NJ people come down here and get on the road. You can spot them from a mile away, they’re the ones tailgating, cutting lanes maniacally, missing other people’s cars by inches.

      • kbolino

        MD drivers will, to a degree I have not seen in any other state, refuse to yield the left lane, and they seem incapable as a species from merging onto a freeway or using a 4-way stop properly. They will also tailgate in the crusing line, and either drive really fast or really slow for no apparent reason at all without the slightest care as to prevailing conditions (weather, traffic, roadwork, accident) except to rubberneck, which they absolutely love to do. One of the most common Maryland driver-isms is the Maryland shuffle, where there is a MD driver in each of the 3, 4, or 5 lanes of a freeway all going the same speed.

        I live in MD, so I may just be really annoyed with what I see regularly, but I’ve spent some nontrivial amounts of time in other states, especially OH, and not seen anything this bad. Now, when I lived in OH, it was in Cleveland, where driving is not so much about following the rules as adapting quickly on your feet to the lack of rules: one minute, this 3-lane divided highway has lines on the road, the next minute it doesn’t; one minute you’re driving along with no warning, the next minute there’s a bunch of traffic cones in the middle of your lane; their solution to dangerous intersections is, if you’re lucky, to put up a sign saying the intersection is dangerous; it is perfectly normal for an at-grade intersection to have 6 or 8 ways, and for the same intersection to be half a mile long with no lines indicating where you’re supposed to be.

        Though I think the biggest problem with MD drivers is no courtesy. They don’t act like they’re in 2-ton death machines, they act like everybody else on the road is just in their way.

      • Hyperion

        Turn signals are not a thing here. If you see someone using them, they are NOT a MD native. I had someone visiting here years ago, ask me if cars in MD have turn signals. I especially hate it when I get stuck behind someone who is making a left turn, just sitting there with no signal on.

      • kbolino

        Yes, MD drivers seem to have two uses for turn signals: not at all or perpetually on.

      • C. Anacreon

        I’ve spoken with people who argue if they’re in a designated left turn lane, they shouldn’t have to use the turn signal. You would think that turn signals should be a reflex, doing it every time you turn, it’s just courtesy for other drivers, some times quite dangerous if they’re not used, so why not just always use them without taking the time to think whether you have to or not? What’s so painful about flicking the signal that makes some people think, “thank goodness, I don’t need to use a signal in this situation”?

      • UnCivilServant

        But then they’d have to move a finger three inches.

      • Hyperion

        “I’ve spoken with people who argue if they’re in a designated left turn lane, they shouldn’t have to use the turn signal.”

        The one’s I am talking about are not designated turn lanes, they’re left turn/straight thru lanes.

      • Hyperion

        “thank goodness, I don’t need to use a signal in this situation”?”

        Hard work these days. Reminds me of some clients who perpetually whine that they have to click twice to get to something. Clicking is manual labor now.

      • kbolino

        Hmm, the longest intersection I could find that I knew on Google Maps was more like 600 ft (Fairmount Blvd x Coventry Rd), and the quintessential Cleveland clusterfuck seems to have been turned into a 4-way intersection (Warrensville Center Rd, Chagrin Blvd, Northfield Rd, and Van Aken Blvd all came together at one point; now it’s just Warrensville Center x Chagrin).

        Oh well, it seemed more impressive once upon a time.

      • Nephilium

        We still have University Circle that leads to anyone not familiar with the area making at least one wrong turn (even with GPS). Hell, I remember my first time driving out to Parma where my directions said to get off on Pearl Rd from 71. There are two Pearl Rd exits for 71, the person giving directions neglected to mention it was the second exit that I was supposed to get off on.

      • Hyperion

        “I live in MD, so I may just be really annoyed with what I see regularly”

        It’s not you, I’ve been here 12 years. It still annoys me to no end. Not commuting to an office anymore is a gift from God. Just a couple of weeks before my client and said everyone had to work from home, who could, I was driving north on 83, commuting back home, and in the opposite lane I noticed out of my peripheral vision, something flying through the air, accompanied by loud crashing sounds. I slowed down because I’m thinking ‘what the fuck was that?’. It was a car, flying through the air. Don’t ask me how, but it came to a sudden stop at an overpass abutment. I suspect the person was driving at least 100mph right before flying through the air, as is typical here and someone was at the same time driving 40mph in the middle lane. The last thing i see is cars pulled to the side and someone running down the middle lane toward the flying car, that is now on fire and smoke pouring out.

        Everyday type occurance here on the highways, especially 695 *shudder*, I’ll do anything I can to keep from even getting on that death trap.

      • Derpetologist

        I went to a bar last night because I don’t want the place to go out of business. It wasn’t crowded. You had to do ‘the this is a stick up’ thing to get in. I had beer and a fried porkchop.

        I try to eat out more because I can afford it and I don’t want to see any more places go under. I tip 25 to 30%. It wasn’t my money to begin with.

      • Nephilium

        Doing that wasn’t helpful to my waistline. I’m still tipping heavy when I go out, it’s sad to see how empty the bars and restaurants are.

      • Derpetologist

        My waistline has been out of tolerance since Thanksgiving. I blame myself. What was added can be removed. I’ve done it before.

        If only I could stop drinking beer, or at least drink no more than 2 per day.

      • Hyperion

        A local deli there, I used to go in there about once a week, went out of business in April after 60 years in that same place. It’s your typical family owned business, they just couldn’t ride it out. I hate all of the assholes who decided destroying the economy was a great idea.

    • R C Dean

      “people trying to enter bareback“

      Also known as “rawdogging”.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    Let’s hope so, Tres.

    However

    The Gallatin City-County Board of Health has approved a local mask mandate that largely aligns with an existing statewide order, despite hearing Friday from dozens of residents who disagree with requiring face coverings.

    Gov. Steve Bullock issued an order last week requiring most people to wear masks in most public settings but allowed local governments to enact their own more restrictive rules.

    The local health board passed a rule on Friday that diverged in several ways from the statewide rule.

    The local rule says that those who don’t comply can be charged with a misdemeanor. The statewide rule doesn’t include specific penalties for not wearing a mask but instead says that those who don’t comply can be asked to leave a business or can be charged with trespassing or other crimes.

    ——-

    The board approved the local rule on a 7-2 vote.

    Those who supported it cited research indicating face coverings can limit transmission of COVID-19. They acknowledged that the public health consensus has changed over the last several months as knowledge about the virus has grown and more personal protective equipment has become available.

    They also said masks are simple and inexpensive and less disruptive than other regulations like stay-at-home orders.

    Several board members said their role is to protect public health, even if it restricts personal liberties.

    Fuck

    off,

    slavers.

    • Tres Cool

      “Several board members said their role is to protect public health, even if it restricts personal liberties.”

      That just makes me want to drink and start measuring lamp post height…..les aristocrates à la lanterne!

  23. The Late P Brooks

    What’s the point of having a law(!) if we cannot punish people for disobeying it?

  24. Derpetologist

    today I learned

    The word target comes from targe, a kind of small, round shield. The -et suffix indicates a smaller version of something, as in booklet or cutlet.

    other uses of targ

    ***
    Targ (Star Trek), a fictional animal from Star Trek. In Scientology, targs are an older word for Body Thetan. Targe, a type of shield. Târg, a medieval Romanian periodic fair or a market town.
    ***

    Targ means market or fair in some Slavic languages. In cursive Cyrillic, the letter for t looks a lot like an m. So maybe the word started out as marg (being closer to market) and later got changed to targ.

    • Ted S.

      Considering that Cyrillic wasn’t invented until well after that would have happened, no, not at all. Especially considering that it would have become торг in Russian.

      • Derpetologist

        The old Soviet foreign trade agency for the US was called Amtorg (wiki sez: Amerikanskaya Torgovlya). I always thought the org part meant organization, but I guess it’s the torg part that means market.

        The words work, organ, ergonomics, and energy all have a common root.

    • Hyperion

      “The -et suffix indicates a smaller version of something”

      Interesting, I didn’t know that. The Brazilians like to stick ‘inho’ or ‘sinho’, pronounced een-yo, on the end of words, including people to signify little or also like a term of affection.

      • Derpetologist

        The fancy term is diminutive. Sort of like the way Johnny comes from John and Susie from Susan. In Latin, the suffix is ul or el, as in Caligula (little boots- he had little army boots when he was a kid because his dad was a general), cerebellum (little brain, because that is what it looks like), or Ursula (little bear, also a girl’s name for some reason).

      • Hyperion

        “The fancy term is diminutive.”

        I did know that. I don’t feel fancy this morning…

      • Derpetologist

        So minus means to make less. Put a de in front and now it means to thoroughly make less. The word devastate means basically to thoroughly lay waste to something (devastare).

  25. The Late P Brooks

    Holy shit- MotoGP on NBC broadcast. I’ll have to watch.

    • Hyperion

      When men were men and there were only 2 genders. That age is over as well as the enlightenment. Rest in peace, western civilization, it was a nice ride.

      • Derpetologist

        Eh, even the ancients complained of declining strength and virtue. For those who take the Bible literally, if they think today is so bad, why hasn’t god flooded the earth again?

        People are like music- we remember the good old stuff and forget the rest.

      • Hyperion

        “why hasn’t god flooded the earth again”

        He promised not to do that again. Next time it’s plagues, pestilence, earthquakes, and some wormwood rock thingy.

      • Derpetologist

        +4 horsemen

  26. Pi Guy

    Taurus: 8 of Cups reversed – Great joy, happiness, feasting.

    Just slapped the tri-tip on grill. MIL is whipping up some jalepeño poppers and squash casserole (veggies locally sourced, about 75 ft from the back porch) about to go in.

    A couple of Orbital Tilts to round out the meal.

    Joyous and feasting indeed.

    • Hyperion

      Wife is doing cheeseburgers, fries, corn on the cob, and a big salad. Although accordin to the horeescope, we should be out maliciously bigoting, deceiving, and being prudes.

  27. mikey

    Our county has been certified Cootie free. Meaning none of the folks carrying the plague around have have been tested.
    That means we don’t have to wear face diapers (until four more folks test positive. Compliance was maybe 50/50 and the Sheriff said he and his deputies wouldn’t be playing mask police.
    It is known that the cooties won’t attack you if fewer than four people in a county have tested positive.
    Why, the cooties are so smart that they can tell if you’re having steak and a baked potato or chicken wings while haveing a beer.

  28. Neabsco

    Which date range are we supposed to use? I had always thought I was Aries, but after the ‘correction’ from a few years back it made me Pisces.

    So I invested too much rational investigation into the matter, and compared the Aries and Pisces horoscopes from the last several weeks to what was actually going on in my life during those times according to my daily notes, and Pisces did seem to align with reality a tiny bit better.

    At least this week they both seem pretty OK.