Monday Night Football! Open Post

by | Jul 27, 2020 | Open Post | 274 comments

So, go ahead, have an open post. I’m currently rolling out and cutting fettuccine, so this is what you get.

 

Have fun!

 

 

 

About The Author

SP

SP

I've got an idea! How about we just stick to the Constitution as written and then the government can leave me the fuck alone.

274 Comments

  1. juris imprudent

    Eyes the lack of comments suspiciously.

    • Mojeaux

      I am, in fact, working because my boss is a bitch.

    • Ted S.

      Better than Brochettaward….

  2. Sean

    I got some more spare mags in the mail today. I also got some dried scorpion peppers.

    Shout outs to pepperjoes.com and gunmagwarehouse.com

    • SP

      I love Pepper Joe! (OK, back to the pasta….)

    • Tejicano

      Can’t have enough magazines. What are these for?

      • Sean

        92x compact (buy one!), scorpion, and ar.

      • Tejicano

        I’m more of a big bore guy. 45 or 10mm Auto.

        The only 9X19mm’s that have tempted me (for carry) are either the HK P7 or the CZ P-07. The Walther PPQ would be good too but I already have one in 45 ACP.

      • Sean

        P7, P7M8, PPQ, 10MM, and multiple .45s around…

        Just let me know if you are in the area.

      • Tejicano

        (BIG-GRIN) I definitely will.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Which scorpion variant do you have?

    • kinnath

      No mags, but Springfield shipped my scope mount today. I will be here tomorrow. I can hardly wait.

      • kinnath

        I forgot, that is coming with a mag too.

      • Fourscore

        How did your apple trees do, late frost and all?

        My baby trees grew, look good, a few more years to go. Crab apple trees are in serious decline, sap sucker damage over the years. A few apples on one though.

      • kinnath

        I have two apple trees with two apple trees each.

        I have one pear tree with 8 or 10 pears.

        The trees are growing like weeds. I have pruned them twice in the last month.

      • Fourscore

        The frost must have been severe, huh? Sorry to hear that.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Gunmagwarehouse FTW!

      • Gustave Lytton

        Ok, two votes in favor then. Too bad they’re now out of my magazines.

    • Digby and the Wonder Llama

      Well, I…..didn’t get the grill that was supposed to arrive today, and is showing delivery on Thursday (Fuck you very much Newgistics, and, ebay, for propping up Newgistics).

      Nor have I received my The Tasteless Gentlemen shirts I ordered almost a month ago. And, no COVID bullshit, as I’ve ordered from them during this ‘demic without issue. Plus, they won’t respond to my inquiries about said order.

      In fact, it has been textiles from China that have gotten to me lightening quick in the last month. Someone must be working at gunpo-….Oh, right.

      /this is all on top of the shit-show that was my Monday.

      • Chafed

        You want to talk about it?

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        Yeah, but, I like being here better. It’s all little shi-…stuff, that added up.

    • SP

      Evenin’ UCS.

      • Festus' Mustache

        Delightfully obscure! I know it, you know it but almost everyone on the planet is unaware.

    • SP

      Well, generally around 1930, local time. (I get too hungry for dinner at 8.)

  3. Fourscore

    I got a Cub Cadet delivered today, took 3 hours to get it out of the crate. The delivery guy left it at the end of the driveway. Had a helluva time to get it started, finally had to read the directions and that worked. Maybe read more tomorrow and get busy cutting grass.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      is it one of the ones where you have to advance the throttle uncomfortably far past 100% to engage the choke?

      /i miss my cub cadet

      • Fourscore

        I’ll have to read the instructions, no visible hand choke on it. I have an old timer that chokes as you described.

    • pistoffnick

      Old Hans E******** rolled the summer camp’s Cub Cadet down the bluff and into the lake one summer. We pulled it out, drained all the water out, put fresh gas in, and made him mow the flat athletic field instead. Cub’s are great.

      • Fourscore

        Lucky for me the lake is far enough away that that won’t be a problem. I’ll just get it stuck somewhere on a stump.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Old Cubs are great.

        New ones aren’t all that.

      • R C Dean

        In the 90s I had one with a Koehler gas engine. Simply refused to not run. Probably 20 years old when I got it, maybe more. Paid $250 for it.

        *adjusts onion on belt*

  4. grrizzly

    The relationship between the severity of lockdowns and deaths from COVID-19. In a chart. The severity of lockdowns is estimated using Oxford University’s government stringency index.

    • Chipping Pioneer

      So, no correlation.

      • mrfamous

        That’s aggressive lack of correlation. That said, it really does need a multi-variate analysis, particularly with population density, weather and demographic info.

      • Rhywun

        I want to see the correlation with one question: “How many people live in your household?”

  5. Ozymandias

    Alright. Open post, so I hope/figure this isn’t too spammy, since I published it here first.
    With wonderful assistance from our very own Ms. Mojeaux, I published the anthrax series as a book, rather than serialized. I rather like Moj’s editorial calls on the footnote convention, and I think she may have been right about adding brackets on the cover, NONETHELESS…!
    Ozy’s anthrax book in Kindle (also available in print form from Amazon) – and other formats on smashwords.
    Big thanks to TPTB for allowing my own personal Festivus (i.e. airing of the grievances!) here first in serialized form.

    • DEG

      Congratulations!

    • SP

      That’s awesome!

    • Sean

      Very nice. Will be gifted.

    • KSuellington

      Congrats man! I enjoyed the posts here, I’ll check it out in Kindle form.

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      purchased.

    • Animal

      I got my copy.

    • straffinrun

      The U.S. government deliberately and remorselessly violates the Constitutional rights of the very people sworn to protect that founding document.

      Mic drop description, Ozy. Bravo.

      • Ozymandias

        I wish I could take credit for that line, straff, but that was all Ms. Mojo.
        (You’ll be shocked to hear I was struggling to get down from 350 word summary, then she took a hatchet to the whole thing and out came that back cover blurb. I think I moved a couple of words, but she deserves the credit.)

      • slumbrew

        So you’re saying the lawyer-version was wordy?

      • Ozymandias

        I know you’re shocked by this.

      • slumbrew

        I need to retire to my fainting couch.

    • Fourscore

      Good to hear some good news on occasion, may it be Times Best Seller. Did you title it “Trump Stinks” so the Times would be pushing it?
      I enjoyed the expose, So much of that sort of thing happening and no accountability.

      • Ozymandias

        Awww, man! Mojo was right – we definitely need better marketing skillz… like you, 4×20!

        When I wrote it originally, I was pretty invested in it becoming widely read. Oddly enough, I don’t care at all now.
        I just needed to record the events and put it in the public domain. I feel like a burden’s been lifted, more than anything else.

      • Mojeaux

        Sometimes all you need is a link to be able to point to. “Wanna know what I think? Go here.”

      • WTF

        I use Ozy’s anthrax story whenever some idiot starts spouting off about how people should be required by the government to get the COVID vaccine when it’s available.

    • westernsloper

      ? Now I have to charge my kindle. Hell, I have to find my kindle. Where is that thing?

      • DenverJ

        What’s a kindle?

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        Well, when a daddy Kind and a mommy Kind love each other very much….

      • J. Frank Parnell

        It’s what he calls his German orphan.

    • Mojeaux

      she may have been right about adding brackets on the cover

      Of course I was. But we can fix that, yanno.

      • Ozymandias

        If you allow me to pick nits, I’ll never stop, so Ima just live with it as it is.
        But thank you.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Is there a delay in the print listing? I’m only seeing the Kindle version.

      And congratulations! Even if reading the series here was a sickening experience and yet personally cathartic.

      • Ozymandias

        Yes, there is, Gustave. The paperback version is currently “under review” because they wanted my ISBN registry name to match the name on the cover art – i.e. I forgot my middle initial. So, I fixed that and hopefully now it’s all good.

    • gbob

      Hurrah! Got mine!

    • Chafed

      Congratulations Ozy. I hope it’s a huge success.

      • Ozymandias

        Thanks, Chafed. I don’t know what I would even use as a metric, but I’m proud of it, regardless of how many copies it sells.

      • Plinker762

        Success would be when Donny Two Scoops holds it up and say that this is why the CCPV vaccine can’t be mandatory.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        That’s……not bad, actually.

  6. UnCivilServant

    $3.49 feels like an odd price point. How did you pick that one?

    • UnCivilServant

      That was meant as a reply to Ozy.

      Man I’m just messing up comments left and right tonight.

      Maybe I should get drunk.

      • westernsloper

        Maybe I should get drunk.

        That is the answer to all lifes questions.

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s too hot here, I fear I’d end up dehydrated.

      • Bobarian LMD

        A href=”https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hUVwR0rw5fk”>Alcohol!

      • Bobarian LMD
      • UnCivilServant

        So you’ve had a few already tonight?

      • westernsloper

        If you don’t wake up dehydrated you didn’t do it right.

    • Ozymandias

      I pulled that one straight out of my butt, UCS. #IFLScience!

      • UnCivilServant

        I hope you washed it off before using it.

      • Ozymandias

        My natural… essence is known to prohibit COVID-19. I haven’t gotten it yet, so… proof! #STILLFLScience!

  7. Drake

    I might consider a covid vaccine when Bill Gates can answer a question about the side effects without losing control of his body language.

    https://youtu.be/Os5p0vecteg

    • Rebel Scum

      Do you know what Bill Gate’s opinion on disease and medicine is worth? The same as my opinion.

    • Rebel Scum

      ‘Member when the politics IN sports only pertained to the politics OF sports?

    • Lackadaisical

      Guess I’ll have to find something less boring to watch,that will simultaneously involve my team not losing every fixing season.

      • Fourscore

        Lack gets chosen to judge the World Series of Paint Drying

    • Rhywun

      Finally, we as a nation can begin to heal.

    • Bobarian LMD

      With the on-field signage, end zone borders will feature stencils with “It Takes All of Us” and “End Racism” on opposite ends of the field.

      I’m sure that will fix the problem.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        Just waiting with baited breath…..

        /Go away–baitin’!

    • grrizzly

      I was mildly curious to see Tom Brady play for Tampa Bay. But I guess he has to make it to the Super Bowl first.

    • Jarflax

      The phrase social justice infuriates me. The idea of justice as a collective concept, divorced from individual responsibility is the most evil thing I can think of. I almost wish I had not previously lost any desire to follow football so I could refuse to watch now.

      • Rhywun

        Its only use is as a tool to hold power over you. And there’s no way to fight back.

    • EvilSheldon

      Reminds me of that Iguana avoiding all those snakes…

    • Chafed

      Your wife should probably see her doctor.

  8. westernsloper

    I’m currently rolling out and cutting fettuccine

    Oh boy that sounds good. I might need to cheat on my diet soon. Who am I kidding, I cheated all weekend. #spineless

    • SP

      Saturday night for dinner guests was homemade butternut squash ravioli and a bunch of other stuff. We are really feeling like we need comfort food lately. And by “we,” I definitely mean “me.”

      • UnCivilServant

        I may need to figure out what to make for some guests. That sounds delicious, but a lot of work.

      • SP

        Super easy. We make it in steps ahead of time. Assemble an hour or two before guests arrive. And my new rolling pin makes super quick work of the actual assembly.

        Could even be made a few days ahead and frozen.

      • UnCivilServant

        That’s a device I hadn’t seen before.

        My rolling pin is this absurdly heavy marble one. It flattens things.

      • pistoffnick

        “My rolling pin is this absurdly heavy marble one. It flattens things.”

        There is no need to brag, UCS.

      • SP

        I have 7 rolling pins of various styles, sizes, and purposes. This is just my latest acquisition. And it is fabulous. So fast!

        All my rolling pins live on a wall-mounted rack over the counter where my mixer lives. It’s really supposed to be a towel rack for holding rolled bathroom towels, but it works perfectly. I’ll take a photo sometime.

      • Fourscore

        Does it do double duty, as required?

        /Hides wife’s rolling pin

      • westernsloper

        After (can’t remember Glibs name and goes to box and feels shame) I am on a green bean, Hoisin sauce, and red pepper kick. I add them to all leftovers I have and they make all leftovers better. Ravioli sounds better. You could put used condoms in a ravioli and with the right sauce they would be good. I like me some ravioli.

      • UnCivilServant

        You could put used condoms in a ravioli and with the right sauce they would be good

        Remind me not to eat at Westernsloper’s house.

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        Avoid the calamari too.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Probably a little chewy, though.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Move over, i can’t remember either and just about to make those green beans for dinner tonight.

  9. Rebel Scum

    Colored women Women of color hardest hit.

    Joe Biden
    @JoeBiden

    The hard truth is women — and particularly women of color — have never had a fair shot to get ahead in this country. That’s why today, I’m releasing my plan to make sure women can fully participate in our economy and country.

    But Biden has gotten a head of many women/girls/etc in this country.

    • Tejicano

      He’s gotten behind a few of them too.

    • Rhywun

      Take THAT, Trump!

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        Oh, those replies….

        “At least you didn’t call us housewives!!!”

        /pffft….hausfraus, amirite?

      • Rhywun

        I’m almost curious to understand in what way he thinks that “women — and particularly women of color — cannot fully participate in our economy and country”. Almost.

    • Viking1865

      I still think it’s hilarious that they have a guy older than Trump, a guy who first came to the Senate in 1972, trying to wave the CHANGE THE SYSTEM banner.

    • slumbrew

      That’s why I’m choosing Oprah Winfrey to head my task force – she’s only worth $2.6 billion – imagine what she’d be worth if she had a shot at getting ahead?

      • Nikkodemus

        Oprah Winfrey = Ellsworth Toohey

      • slumbrew

        She’ll be helping poor, struggling Kylie Jenner to finally get paid a fair amount.

    • Rhywun

      What a bunch of malarkey.

  10. Tejicano

    Bleah… for a dainty Japanese lass my wife can sure be hard on equipment. She keeps ripping the remote control cradle off the wall.

    So, since the dry wall is only about 2.5 inches off the re-enforced concrete structural wall behind it I will be drilling a couple 2mm holes into the concrete and then screwing the cradle against the dry wall with 3 inch wood screws into the concrete. Just waiting for the drill batteries to charge now.

      • Tejicano

        NSFW? Hell, that isn’t safe if you were planning on eating or sleeping in the next 8 hours.

      • Rebel Scum

        How the fuck am I supposed to un-see that? (or sleep tonight…?)

      • westernsloper

        Would …….well, solid maybe.

      • Bobarian LMD

        This comment said it all:

        Straight up looks like a zombie off “i am legend” found the weed

  11. Rebel Scum

    THICC?

    Sports Illustrated’s 2020 Swimsuit issue features someone who is being called the “curviest model ever,” plus-sized model Hunter McGrady.

    “I have been so excited for this shoot to be released,” the 27-year-old model wrote on Instagram. “This trip was life changing and was so special to experience with the most special team. Sports Illustrated has given me so much and created so many incredible opportunities for me and I will forever be grateful. Every time the magazine comes out it is a ‘pinch me’ moment.”

    Know your audience. . .

    • Drake

      Tow it out to deep water.

    • Viking1865

      I honestly, truly, 100% don’t understand how this shit happened. Like, how did this get pitched and not get immediately laughed at.

      Let’s remember the spirit of 76.

      • Festus' Mustache

        “The Spirit of 76” was Farrah Fawcett’s red bikini.

    • Fourscore

      There’s women’s sumo wrestling? Always the last to get the word.

    • Bobarian LMD

      You know that this year features a MtF model as well?

      • Chafed

        At least she’s pretty.

    • blackjack

      She wears a size tent and a half.

    • mikey

      Tres needs to weigh in on this one.

      • Chafed

        A little light but good enough.

        /Tres

    • gbob

      So skinny chicks with ducks and tubbos.

      Time to start a church of Al Bundy.

      • Festus' Mustache

        Soooooo Problematic!

  12. Rebel Scum

    So you are saying that you side with the colonizing overlord King George III and the British Empire?

    After the results of a recent Fox News poll showed that Americans under the age of 30 were more likely than other age groups to describe the Founding Fathers as villains, Campus Reform asked students to weigh in.

    “They accomplished a lot of things, but a lot of them were not very good,” one student said.

    “Villains,” another answered when asked if he viewed the Founding Fathers as heroes or villains. “They owned slaves.”

    Campus Reform also asked students if the Founding Fathers did any good, which most had trouble answering.

    • KSuellington

      The higher education bubble cannot pop soon enough.

      • LCDR_Fish

        I was thinking about that a little yesterday. If universities stay closed or “online only” for more than another semester…that might come sooner than we think just due to inertia and the ivory tower of cards collapsing. Particularly with the number of jobs that will be around or hiring – and some folks might be feeling handier after being stuck at home and looking for more “productive” work than just sitting in a classroom.

      • KSuellington

        I also think that. How in the hell can universities continue to overcharge for their crappy product when students aren’t on campus? Online education can be delivered for a fraction of the cost.

    • juris imprudent

      Feed them shit and then act surprised that mushrooms are growing between their ears?

    • Digby and the Wonder Llama

      So, they are definitely libertarians, I guess…. It’s almost as if they don’t actually understand culture and society.

      Yeah, you’d definitely buck the trends of the 1770s, and totes down with the struggle. You, who listen to whatever your friends listen to, and read Teen Cosmo un-ironically?

    • Chafed

      Children who haven’t learned a thing.

  13. straffinrun

    *Checks news* There is no violence and Trump is responsible for the violence. *Mind blown*

    • leon

      It’s not for us to understand the mysteries of protests

    • Rebel Scum

      Doublethink is fun.

    • Brochettaward

      I have it on good authority that only men do those sorts of things.

    • straffinrun

      Can confirm those exist.

    • blackjack

      I would’ve imagined her to be on the “try a little harder” side of the scale, personally.

      • Tejicano

        Hey, if she doesn’t have any self esteem it isn’t fair for him to have any.

    • Digby and the Wonder Llama

      C’mon…..she’s never had a boyfriend, and you know it.

    • Festus' Mustache

      I like the “Art Linkletter” glance back at the camera.

  14. Plisade

    With the aid of beer buzz escapism, I’ve come to posit…

    What we are seeing with the excessive socialism via BLM violent activism… It’s evolved social deception.

    https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/BF00987597

    Extreme libs hate themselves, and via projection, humanity. To mask their hatred of others, they deceive to the point of violently demonstrating a love of humanity, in the currently fashionable BLM.

    Cheers, mah Glibs.

    • Plisade

      I forgot to add: Surface Complexity, Deep Simplicity.

  15. straffinrun

    Anyone else notice that the Fed officers in Portland all seem to be fit but the local police have around a 30% obesity rate?

    • Viking1865

      I would hazard a guess that fed cops in 2020 have a very high percentage of former combat arms from our 19 years of war abroad.

    • blackjack

      I’m from L.A. and I notice they are willing to put up with a fucking HUGE amount of shit. Our cops will smash your head in for that kind of abuse.

    • westernsloper

      Something something, fitness tests…………

    • Gustave Lytton

      30%? Portland police (and western popo in general) look much fitter on average than those elsewhere in the country.

      As for the feds, they aren’t sending the garden variety officers that usually stamp passports and inspect customs cargo. Bortac is probably one of the more selective assignments in the border patrol and probably similar with the additional marshals that were sent in. What I don’t see a lot of, or any on the front line photos, is female feds.

  16. Rebel Scum

    who doesn’t recall the “except when a scary virus hits” exceptions to the Constitution.

    It’s on the back written in invisible ink that reacts to citrus. Nicholas Cage can find it for you.

    • Fourscore

      Because it’s a mystery disease. If you have no symptoms then you have the scary virus and need to be quarantined, for other people’s sake.

  17. Brochettaward

    I am officially announcing my retirement from the Firsting game. I’ve accomplished all there is to accomplish in this game. Maybe now that I’m gone my talents will be fully appreciated.

    • blackjack

      So, you’ve had your last first?

      • mikey

        He just needs to Spend More Time With His Family.

      • Gender Traitor

        …and “pursue other interests.”

      • UnCivilServant

        Sniffing the wastebasket at a hairdressers?

      • Gender Traitor

        He & Biden will have to fight each other for them.

    • Tejicano

      Who are you?

    • Fourscore

      “my talents will be fully appreciated”

      You’re a ‘funny guy’, Bro

      • UnCivilServant

        You’re a ‘funny guy’, Bro

        We’ll kill you last.

      • Tejicano

        “You’re a ‘funny guy’, Bro”

        But looks aren’t everything.

    • Digby and the Wonder Llama

      Uh….that’s probably good for you and whoev-

      OHHHH–“fiRsting”!!

      Right, right–I understand, now.

    • Festus' Mustache

      “Know your audience!” You were a little too Dice Clay. Eh, I found it amusing…

    • J. Frank Parnell

      10 is the correct answer.

      • Festus' Mustache

        I would have gone with 23 but seeing as no girl that looks like her is ever going to look at me that way without first getting a new car I may as well sit back and leer like a proper Gentleman.

  18. UnCivilServant

    There’s a limit to how far gone I can be if I still care what people think of the appearance of my house.

    Since no one ever visits me I so rarely get visitors, I sorta let the place get messy. But now that I’m going to have visitors, I’m doing things like scrubbing the soap residue off the bathroom sink. Also, the main mess turns out to be mostly an optical illusion. There’s not as much actual stuff making up the clutter, but the disordered state makes it look worse. I have until friday evening to get things presentable.

    • straffinrun

      Always clean like you’re expecting visitors even if that visitor turns out just to be you. #Lifeistemporary

      • UnCivilServant

        Then you’ll spend your whole life cleaning.

      • straffinrun

        Why? If you live alone, how big of mess to allow to accumulate?

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        How much mess do you think 2 middle-aged adults can make? Hop on an international flight, and I’ll (shamefully) show you.

      • Festus' Mustache

        American to Gaijan – “You’ve changed, Man!”

    • Gender Traitor

      It takes the threat of guests to shame me into cleaning. Unless it’s my sisters. I know their houses are messier than mine.

    • DenverJ

      I, either through neighbors, a deep infestation, or possibly because of Amazon deliveries, recently had roaches. Ugh. I completely boxed up the entire kitchen and got the area sprayed. It’s now taken me 2 weeks to wash every dish, spoon, and plate, per GFs request, before I put them back where they belong. My kitchen is very, very, very clean.

    • R C Dean

      We rarely get visitors, but stay on top of the clutter/cleaning. Its like most things – not much trouble if you stay ahead of it.

    • Chafed

      Cocaine?

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      I’d have guessed hookers and blow.

      • straffinrun

        Nah. He’d rather waste the money.

    • slumbrew

      She is tres juggy.

    • gbob

      She can overcharge me for her services any time.

    • Digby and the Wonder Llama

      Would NOT throttle….

    • Gdragon

      In the same vein I kinda dig the SodaStream girl. Yahweh only knows if she dabbles in the goyim though.

  19. Digby and the Wonder Llama

    Honey, you sure scream like a little bitch–https://www.theblaze.com/news/nypd-protester-or-fing-what

    • Chafed

      She seems nice.

    • Digby and the Wonder Llama

      “Southie”…

    • Digby and the Wonder Llama

      Mmmmm….”Plaster Fun Time”

      What a country!

    • slumbrew

      That would be lovely Haverhill (pronounced “Hay-vrille”), about 45 minutes north, on the New Hampshire border.

      That could be any number of place around here, back in the day, but now damn yuppies have gentrified the place and we no longer have that sort of authentic color.

      By “yuppies” I mean me and (almost) all of my neighbors – my buddy’s father grew up right near here, on Winter Hill (home of Whitey Bulger’s Winter Hill Gang) and Walter could not be happier about how much better the neighborhood is. The 4th-generation locals next door agree.

  20. Digby and the Wonder Llama

    Well, Chafed (and anyone else who read my rant): My shirts from Tasteless Gentlemen show to have shipped….Like, just now.

    • Chafed

      What city is it shipping from?

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        I cannot find it. UPS literally just shows “United States”.

        It may update later in the morning–we’ll see

    • Brochettaward

      I’m relieved that the crisis is nearly over.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        Damn right! I’ve waited for long enough for silly t-shirts.

    • SP

      I’m guessing until around November 4th.

      • straffinrun

        I kinda wanna see how he’d react to the balloon shower.

    • Digby and the Wonder Llama

      Does he really have anything to lose, though? No one is gonna be swayed away from their side, and COVID is on Trump right now.

      • straffinrun

        We need to start the “Surprise Party”. We don’t tell you who you’ve voted for until after the election.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        That’ll learn some of those civics assholes…

      • Gustave Lytton

        Sort of reminds me of the org announcement email great-grandboss sent out this afternoon. Sorry, email announcing that he was close to announcing the new org and will do so just as soon as it’s finalized. And that he understands there will be disruption but focus on our knitting. That sure sounds good.

  21. Digby and the Wonder Llama

    Going back to last night’s talk about Jerry Nadler–I do think he’s just an evolved set of gonads: grew legs, put on a suit and glasses, continues to fuck people…
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mo4rg0oNaZ8

    • Festus' Mustache

      Elephantisis of the balls.

  22. Akira

    My journey into woodworking continues…

    A week or two ago, I emailed my Dad a YouTube video of a simple workbench design. I asked him if we could build it in his garage and transport it to my house for final assembly. The other day, I came home and the completed bench is just sitting there in my garage. Guess he didn’t feel like waiting around! That’s cool though; I think he misses having projects to work on since he’s retired and has probably fixed every single thing around his house. And now I can do all kinds of projects myself since I have a workbench.

    So far, I’ve obtained:
    – Various measuring squares and gauges
    – Japanese pull-saw
    – Side rabbet plane (just ordered it)
    – Chisel set that my dad had laying around and gave to me
    – Sharpening stone kit since the chisels need some touching up before being used

    As soon as all these things arrive, I’m going to buy some cherry planks and start practicing. Once I’ve become competent at the basic woodworking joints, I’m going to build a custom bookshelf for my study. Very excited to get started.

    • Grumbletarian

      Very cool. Now that I’m in a house with an actual garage, I’m working on getting a good set of woodworkng tools as well. Going to be building a table saw station with an inset router table here in the next few weeks, hopefully.

    • Gender Traitor

      …they will stop selling yellow bananas.

      Minions hardest hit.

    • Gender Traitor

      Mornin’, UCS. Thought some more about your current housekeeping…emergency in light of your impending guests. Worst case scenario, inform them that you have a cleaning disability (goodness knows I do) – dustlexia. And also that you’re clutter blind.

      #TheStruggleIsReal

      • UnCivilServant

        I can’t do that, it’s my mother.

      • JD is in the United Karendom

        Nooorrrman!

        Mornin’, people.

      • Gender Traitor

        Mornin’, JD.

      • Gender Traitor

        ::checks Internet:: Oh, thank goodness! It IS still morning where you are, isn’t it?

      • Gender Traitor

        Oh….um…then I guess you’re SOL. Is she a very tidy person?

      • UnCivilServant

        I’ll just keep cleaning.

      • straffinrun

        Perfect reply.

      • Festus' Mustache

        I’m picturing UCS as Dory with rubber gloves.

      • Festus' Mustache

        In all seriousness, I hate that drop-in mind set. Our house is a disaster because Wifey jumps from hobby to hobby and I drink too much. You know the parable about the cobbler’s children going unshod? We’re under housed and over stretched. Add another pup to the mix and I might just need to jump in the river.

  23. Gender Traitor

    There is definitely something wrong when one of the most historic and prominent gunmakers ever finds itself in bankruptcy. I wonder how much of a factor the Sandy Hook litigation really is.

    Remington has been searching for potential buyers and was in talks to sell itself out of bankruptcy to the Navajo Nation before negotiations collapsed in recent weeks…

    That would have been…interesting. Also could have led to some leftist head explosions.

    • Festus' Mustache

      They would just fuck it up even more. I’ve seen first hand what happens when Tribal Councils try to do business on even terms. It always devolves to the ruling clan enriching themselves to their own advantage and everybody else getting STEVE SMITHED. If you ever entertained the thought that Scotland was clannish and awful you haven’t met a Tribal Council.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      A more important factor is probably that Remington has made some sorry business decisions recently and has been churning out garbage guns with poor quality control for a decade and a half. When they acquired Marlin, a lever action company who had making basically the same design since the late 1800s/early 1900s, the quality went into the toilet and that wasn’t unique to that sub brand. Remington themselves have recently released a concealed carry pistol that was an absolute piece of garbage and it’s likely that the bad reputation they’ve acquired and the brand loyalty being exhausted is the primary cause.

      • Gender Traitor

        I suspected something like that might be the case. Thanks!

    • UnCivilServant

      I don’t think that would help.

  24. Festus' Mustache

    Sorry. Mornin’ Glibs! I forget meself.

    • Gender Traitor

      Mornin’, Fes.

  25. westernsloper

    Today I have deemed the day I quit smoking. Let it be said, let it be done.

    • Festus' Mustache

      Good for you! I’ve never really tried.

    • Gender Traitor

      Best of luck! Use whatever assistance works for you.

    • Sean

      One of the best things you’ll ever do.

      Former smoker – a lifetime ago.

    • banginglc1

      Good Luck! I hope you’re journey doesn’t take as long as mine. But I hope you get the same end result. 2-1/2 years nicotine free. It can be done. And I suggest Wellbutrin.

  26. UnCivilServant

    I’m a mess. My focus on cleaning had my mind going back to whether I’ve gotten rid of the mice. Upon hearing this pitter-patter noise en masse, I almost freaked out… then I realized it was just raining, and the windows were open.

    I need a vacation.

    • UnCivilServant

      Maybe I can deal with all my problems at the same time. Make this place more inhospitable to rodents and more hospitable to guests.

      Yet there’s no sign that the mice have been eating anything in the house, nor any droppings. I would have expected some sign they’d gotten into my food, but there’s none.

      • Festus' Mustache

        Is there a place to buy a shit-load of live rodents and a feline (kept in reserve until the initial infestation has run its course) just to keep away judgy people from your abode? I’m only half-assed joking. If they don’t like your standards then they can go fuck a lentil. Your house, your rules.

      • UnCivilServant

        I don’t know, but my neighbor is an apartment building, so it’s entirely possible that the nexus of the infestation is in there.

      • UnCivilServant

        Wait, why would I buy rodents?

      • Festus' Mustache

        Sigh. White mice from the lab and borrow a cat. Explaining the joke is tiresome! You’ll need a dog to catch the cat…

    • Gender Traitor

      A vacation would probably do you a world of good. One more thought on the cleaning-for-guest-prep topic: If you’ll pardon the “chick-oriented” analogy, I believe the best approach is to be in “Martha mode” ahead of your guests’ arrival, then make it a point to shift gears into “Mary mode.”

      • Festus' Mustache

        But then he’d have to choose which “vacation gloves” to pack! Leave UCS alone!

      • UnCivilServant

        The driving gloves, the photography gloves and the supervillain gloves, duh.

  27. Festus' Mustache

    So today I need to go renew my truck insurance but they’ve added a new rule wherein I need to declare the identity of everyone else that drives the vehicle. If this is not done and someone fucks up while driving the Tacoma it will go bad for poor old Festus. When I claim Judi as the other driver it will raise my rate, regardless. She’s had a few accidents and only one was said to be her fault. What is it that you Sages say on these boards so often? Feature, not a bug?

    • UnCivilServant

      They didn’t require that before? It’s been that way around her for as long as I’ve paid attention.

      • Festus' Mustache

        New rule. Chinese people can’t drive and like to defraud the Government if they can.