Saturday Morning Treason Links

by | Jul 4, 2020 | Daily Links | 271 comments

About the Declaration there is a finality that is exceedingly restful. It is often asserted that the world has made a great deal of progress since 1776, that we have had new thoughts and new experiences which have given us a great advance over the people of that day, and that we may therefore very well discard their conclusions for something more modern. But that reasoning can not be applied to this great charter. If all men are created equal, that is final. If they are endowed with inalienable rights, that is final. If governments derive their just powers from the consent of the governed, that is final. No advance, no progress can be made beyond these propositions. If anyone wishes to deny their truth or their soundness, the only direction in which he can proceed historically is not forward, but backward toward the time when there was no equality, no rights of the individual, no rule of the people. Those who wish to proceed in that direction can not lay claim to progress. They are reactionary. Their ideas are not more modern, but more ancient, than those of the Revolutionary fathers.

It is a sobering thought that we will never have another president with this clarity of vision and this ability to articulate it. So… let’s drink. And grill. And watch the bang-bangs.

Of course, there ARE some birthdays, the national festivities notwithstanding, and quite a diverse lot they are. For example, someone whose name will be common at today’s parties; a guy I was forced to read in junior high and quickly learned to hate; the first of the Great American Songwriters; the last of the Great American Presidents; my professional inspiration; my Spirit Animal; the real (((Ann Landers))); the guy who did more to ruin baseball than anyone else; and another in the long line of Great American Songwriters.

Now for the meatier bits.

 

Trump finally gets Mexico to pay for the wall. I admit that the name of the Sonoran governor ought to set off the conspiracy buffs.

 

Local city pays over $100k for an assessment of whether they need their own crime lab. Punch line: the assessment will be done by the company that would build the crime lab.

 

“I know how to get a headline- say something blitheringly stupid ending with the word ‘Trump.'”

 

OMG, SHE DISRESPECTS THE PRESS!

 

Investment advice: go long on videogames.

 

Meanwhile, back in our former colonizer… “fear” “concern” “potential” “could” “possible” … fuck right off, mate.

 

Old Guy Music today is a Foster classic, with all instruments played by LJ. A trivia question: what’s the lead instrument?

About The Author

Old Man With Candy

Old Man With Candy

Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me. Wait, wrong book, I'll find something else.

271 Comments

  1. TARDIS

    I hope everyone in the pubs just go ahead and stand right next each, and say Fuck Off to the authorities.

    • Trigger Hippie

      Later today I’ll be exploding illegally large fractions of whole dynamite sticks. Just trying to do my part in any small way I can.

    • Atanarjuat

      It’s almost certainly going to happen in some cases. Hole in the wall places with blue collar clientele, perhaps, while the health and safety Nazis patrol the large chains.

      When I was in England a few years ago the pubs were already declining, and from what I heard, the blame was on the smoking ban. We got invited to a secret pub. Essentially, someone had gotten a few kegs and taps and turned his living room into a pub where you sat on home furniture. It was through two doors on a busy street. There was no signage, no windows, and we may have had to have a password, can’t remember. We were looked at with great skepticism but finally served without question and had a nice conversation with a guy there about hunting, firearm ownership, walking and driving on tiny twisting roads, pubs, and aviation (his profession).

      Apparently there was a small trend of anonymous speakeasy-esque pubs at that time (2017). Maybe that outlet will crop back up as regulations on legal pubs inexorably tighten.

      • Ted S.

        walking and driving on tiny twisting roads,

        On the wrong side of them, too.

      • pan fried wylie

        I mean, at these speeds, you kinda have to be on whatever side of the road the line through a turn demands.

    • Ted S.

      Of course, that’ll just get the authorities to shut down the pubs again.

    • Fribblemeister

      I am with you on this, Tardis. Of course, I sell medical supplies and equipment. Boom times.

  2. Sean

    They don’t need a crime lab. They need the Hardy boys.

    • Old Man With Candy

      “I’ve got a raging clue.”

  3. The Late P Brooks

    Happy Freedom Nostalgia Day, you krazy kidz.

    I shall be wearing my traditional Right Wing Crank shirt. It features this image.

    Now go out there and mock the hive mind.

  4. Cy

    *strokes giant firework*

    Thank god for Texas!

    • slumbrew

      I thought this was a family-friendly site?

  5. Rhywun

    As with everything in this brave new world, there are rules. Forty-six pages of them, to be precise.

    Try to contain your excitement, CNN.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      I swear if the media and their fans starts to claim Trump is creating a brave new world or 1984 – a world they helped to bring in – I think it may be a bring too far for me..

      • Ted S.

        I hate those brings too far. :-p

      • Rufus the Monocled

        bridge…

        this auto-spell is beyond weird.

      • Hyperion

        I’d like to see someone quiz some protesters on the street, I mean BLM and antifa members, on things like who Marx and Lenin were. Because their own claimed philosophy is the exact same, but I bet 9 out of 10 of them couldn’t tell you a damn single fact about either of those guys and how that little experiment played out between 1917 and 1991.

  6. Gender Traitor

    A trivia question: what’s the lead instrument?

    I saw what you did there!

    the real (((Ann Landers)))

    …and, of course, the real (maybe not original, but longtime at the same time as (((Ann))) (((Dear Abby)))!

    I need to find a good bio of Stephen Foster because I’m fascinated by how he became essentially The Original King of Pop (AFAIK) in the era before mass communication and recording technology.

    My favorite Foster, and about as close as I come to praying.

    • pan fried wylie

      Ships were made for sinking,
      and whisky made for drinking,
      and if we were made of cellophane we’d all get stinking drunk MUCH FASTER,
      WAHAHAHAHA!!

    • juris imprudent

      the lead instrument?

      Acoustic version of a theramin.

      • pan fried wylie

        I think this is physically realizable and I’m on the verge of being consumed by the prospect.

      • Fribblemeister

        That theramin is such a haunting instrument!

  7. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of studies-

    I had a conversation with a local city councilman, one day. He was talking about how the city needed to shovel a bunch of money at a consultant to do a big “traffic study” in order to determine whether “we” needed more stop signs in town. I said, “Instead of pissing away a bunch money on consultants, just go buy a bunch of stop signs and put them up. That’s what you want to do, anyway.” Which is what the apparently did.

    Those poor consultants. How will they feed their wives and children with spoilsports like me ruining things for them?

    • Old Man With Candy

      In this case, it’s not even a consultant- IT’S THE COMPANY THAT SELLS THE LABS. No graft here, nossir.

    • Cy

      He failed to mention his cousin owns a consulting company.

  8. The Late P Brooks

    Colonialism and racism are alive and well in America. Indigenous people are still facing inequities in accessing education, health care and economic opportunities. We are confronting extractive industries and corporations that only want to further take from us.

    We’ve been removed from our homes, and now some of the most impoverished places in the U.S. are Indigenous places of struggle and residence.

    Our lives have been stolen from us; our lands are occupied by colonizers. We’ve been removed from our homes, and now some of the most impoverished places in the U.S. are Indigenous places of struggle and residence. In South Dakota, where I live on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation, Indigenous people constitute less than 10 percent of the population but roughly half of those booked into the state’s jails.

    Clearly the fault of George Washington.

    • TARDIS

      What, the casinos didn’t fix all that?

      • Spartacus

        Our local Miccosukees are doing pretty well. They still choose to live pretty simply but the tribe is sitting on a ton of cash.

      • R C Dean

        Around here, that means the tribal government is corrupt as hell. The ordinary folks aren’t choosing to live the way they do, they are really poor because the tribal government sucks up all the loot from casinos and their other businesses.

      • Spartacus

        There is always a fair amount of corruption wherever there is lots of cash, but they seem relatively open in keeping the books. Every Miccosukee family gets an annual stipend, sort of like Alaska. The most recent thing I can find is this 2016 Forbes article, which says in part: “Today every man, woman and child in the tribe receives biweekly dividend payments totaling about $128,000 a year. Indeed, by the time a Seminole child today turns 18, she is already a multimillionaire, thanks to tribal trusts that prevent children or their parents from touching the funds until adulthood.”
        Maybe this is why the Seminoles don’t complain too much about their name being used for mascots.

      • R C Dean

        Impressive. Not the way the tribes work around here, I’m pretty sure.

      • TARDIS

        To me it’s just more corporate cronyism. It must be nice not to have to compete in a free market.

      • TARDIS

        Cash is good, but so are investments and property out in the white man’s world. I’d love to have a gambling monopoly. I’d be like Biff Tannen.

    • Suthenboy

      Bullshit.

      All of that misery is self-inflicted.

    • leon

      “We’ve been removed from our homes, and now some of the most impoverished places in the U.S. are Indigenous places of struggle and residence.”

      There are plenty of people who have been removed and yet still seem to find a way to be prosperous in the next century. So fuck off.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      I agree. It’s enough now of this victimhood. It’s self-inflicted. Same crap up here.

      Fuck off.

      I think this has to stop now.

      That goes for blacks too.

      It’s a constant loop of self-pity it’s disgusting. Stop indulging it.

      Here the band chiefs have STOLEN billions from the Canadian taxpayers. I think they’ve gotten well compensated (oh but they screwed with white man contracts! Yeh well, lesson learned. Life sucks. Become lawyers like the Jews. Move on). It’s their problem the Chiefs stole the money. Not me.

      It’s all so tiresome now.

      The Navajo and Cree have my utmost respect.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        mine

      • Atanarjuat

        Interesting.

      • Atanarjuat

        Um, don’t look now but the Navajo tribe is looking into buying Remington and shutting down their AR manufacturing.

      • Chafed

        Serious question, why do they want to shut down AR manufacturing?

      • mock-star

        I would probably shut down AR manufacturing too. The AR market is oversaturated. If theyre smart, they’ll get on the next trend before it starts (current trend is PCCs, who knows what will be next).

    • kbolino

      How do citizens of the reservation end up in state prisons? Serious question. Does the reservation not have its own prisons and farms incarceration out to the state, or are the incarcerated “indigenous” (they have people over 400 years old?) committing their crimes outside the territory of the reservation?

  9. prolefeed

    The 4th of July: celebrating a declaration of war against being ruled by a tyrannical government with the most powerful military on earth, while avoiding the epiphany that you’re ruled by an even more tyrannical government with the most powerful military ever.

  10. Suthenboy

    “Nick Tilsen, president of NDN Collective”

    So, resistance is futile?

    • Fribblemeister

      Being that it was paid for by borrowed money, it’s an attack on indigenous people, an attack on non-indigenous people, and an attack on future generations of taxpayers.

      Same with Trump’s golf outing yesterday.

  11. Rhywun

    Trump’s visit was a deliberate attack on Indigenous people, just as his visit to the site of the Black Wall Street massacre the day after Juneteenth was an attack on Black people.

    Dude, take your meds.

    • leon

      Oh fuck off. Next he’ll hold a rally in Pennsylvania, and they will say it’s a racial attack on the Dutch.

      • Ted S.

        They were actually Germans.

      • leon

        You know what happens when the Germans try to cancel you?

      • juris imprudent

        You get polished?

      • Hyperion

        They send you back Lenin?

  12. Scruffy Nerfherder

    The current White House Press Corps making accusations of political theater is pretty rich.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    “Nick Tilsen”

    What the heck kinda injun name is that?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      It’s one of those rare Greek Injuns

      • Rhywun

        Or Norwegian.

    • Hyperion

      It’s one of them uppity Lakotans.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    In the midst of a national reckoning on race, the hypocrisy of Mount Rushmore must be interrogated and denounced.

    Only when we have waterboarded and humiliated History will we truly be able to holds our heads up.

    • Hyperion

      Once we get rid of everything to do with Western culture, the media can turn their focus on making Marx and Lenin the heroes of all history and saviors of all people.

  15. Gender Traitor

    Now you’ve set me off on an Old Songs kick, Old Man. An ode to old songs, caught before it gets “canceled.”

    • Old Man With Candy

      The whole album from LJ, from whence the song today was snatched, is his versions of Old American Songs. Definitely worth a listen.

      • Chafed

        Hateful

      • Ted S.

        When Mojeaux sees it, she’ll start squeeing.

      • Hyperion

        This is the 4th of July, absolutely no squeeing!

    • leon

      I guess some people like being grilled
      Groped by strangers and treated like cattle going through security.

      • Atanarjuat

        “groped by strangers”

        Alright, I’m in.

  16. The Late P Brooks

    NYT headline, via the google nooze:

    “Trump Uses Mount Rushmore Speech to Deliver Divisive Culture War Message”

    Yeah. By not kowtowing to the Red Guard, he is sowing strife and division.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      That right there is a communist headline.

      How in the world can that be divisive?

      Are they suggesting the only way to unity is through BLM and embracing socialism?

      The rot at the NYT is a virus. I have no idea how they’ve existed for so long because they’ve already pulled this crap before.

  17. Rhywun

    Have some naked “climate” propaganda disguised as front-page “news”.

    “I’m journalisming!”

    • Suthenboy

      Did you just tell us yesterday you were having thunderstorms?

      Sounds like normal seasonal turnover to me.

      • Rhywun

        No, but we get “stray afternoon thunderstorms” almost every day now.

    • leon

      “Dead fish are turning up in large numbers all along the Hudson River from Manhattan to Yonkers, according to environmental organization Riverkeeper.”

      Call me a cynic but I’m not going to take an advocacy groups word for it.

      • Rhywun

        The entire article is just a series of quotes from that organization. Can you imagine getting paid to do that?!

    • Crusty Juggler

      Why isn’t that news? There are a lot of dead fish and it’s because of the weather and not because Big Corporation or Nuclear Plant unleashed chemicals into the river.

      • Rhywun

        Thank god Cuomo’s closing the nuclear plant up the Hudson. I suppose the rolling blackouts that will be the new normal because he is replacing that power with fantasies of windmills and solar panels that haven’t been built yet and never will be built are just a small price to pay for the satisfaction of patting ourselves on the back.

      • Crusty Juggler

        Okay so I guess it isn’t a story.

      • Crusty Juggler

        Also, the reality is that the replacements will be less eco friendly than Indian Point

      • pan fried wylie

        It shouldn’t be news because the effects of dumping the sewage of millions of people into the river shouldn’t be a surprise in the modern era.

        “Nuke plant unleashing chemicals…” *SMDH*

        WARM WATER. Jesus Fucking Tapdancing Christ.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        And the usual double down.

        https://twitter.com/edockterman/status/1277777886485889025

        “Eliana Dockterman
        @edockterman
        It’s amazing how many of the responses I’ve gotten totally ignore the undeniable fact that the **vast** majority of onscreen superheroes—enforcing their particular version of justice with violence—have been white dudes”

        Or maybe….sidethrows pebble into water….you’re just a remedial hack with a stagnant and regressive mind polluted by intersectional gibberish?

      • Trigger Hippie

        Comic books are escapism and fantasy fulfillment. The vast majority of comic book enthusiasts are in fact white dudes(at least in North America). It makes perfect sense to know your audience and supply them with the outlets they crave(I can see myself as this dude). As the market expands so do the hero options. It’s a natural progression with no need to for the issue to be obsessed over…it’s a silly ass topic anyway.

      • leon

        Your not allowed to escape from progressivism.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Yep. See: NFL

        The Chiefs may be on the verge of a dynasty and I may miss most of it due to the ceaseless preaching and social signaling by the league and its players…some progressives ruin everything.

      • pan fried wylie

        So what you’re saying is, We Need A Hero?

      • Nephilium

        /looks at Miles Morales

        /looks at Kal-El

        /looks at Ms. Marvel

        /looks at the X-Men

        Yep. All bigots and racists.

      • Nephilium

        If only there was some series of books that would discuss such things. There could be a large story across the comics themselves about wearing masks and if heroes should be forced to reveal their true identity.

        Nah… It would never work

      • Rhywun

        LOL I didn’t notice that

  18. Crusty Juggler

    VC’s vs NYT

    Who ya got?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’ll take the ones with the money, the VC’s.

  19. Atanarjuat

    A rabid lefty friend posted this article, How Far do the Tentacles of the Jeffrey Epstein Case Extend?, and I clicked, foolishly thinking it must have new info with a title like that. No, as I read I was first struck by the poor quality of the writing, then by how it offered no new info, just a pathetic attempt to create a narrative where the government’s various actions were an elaborate scheme to cover up Trump’s involvement with Epstein.

    So I got to the end, wondering who this Heather Cox Richardson was. Surely she’s an intern. A high school student who turned in an essay with this many grammatical errors would need to buy the teacher a new red pen. Nope, she is a history professor at Boston College who has published books and writes a “nightly” newsletter. How the hell…? I clicked on her Twitter. She tweets several dozen times a day. After a marathon scrolling session, I got back to July 1, 2020. In all those hundreds of tweets she did not express a single thought. They were ALL retweets (I was hoping to find more awful grammar) of absurd conventional wisdom TDS talking points.

    This has been an investigative derp report by special Glib correspondent Atanarjuat. I don’t really know what to make of this. Aren’t most people in academia, you know, smart?

    • leon

      Boston college. Beloved alma mater of AOC

      • Crusty Juggler

        She went to Boston University.

      • leon

        How much book leaning does one City need?

      • juris imprudent

        All them books must be propping up some big brains, right?

      • ruodberht

        Wikipedia says BU.

      • Gdragon

        I seem to recall it being angrily referred to as “maybe the 5th best college in Boston” in the movie “Gifted” 😉

    • Suthenboy

      “Once a person has become demoralized you cannot fix them. You are stuck with them forever. No matter how much authentic information you give them they cannot draw a sensible conclusion.” – Yuri bezmenov

      • leon

        That seems kind of like a demoralized view on humanity.

      • Suthenboy

        Have you been out and seen humanity lately?

      • Sean

        ?

      • juris imprudent

        Bezmenov is an interesting character. Only ever gave an interview to a John Bircher.

        If you are interested in why are culture has unraveled, I’ve been re-reading a book from 1979 – The Culture of Narcissism. I remember reading it years ago, and the things it talked about as budding then are now in full bloom. Anyway, it gives you an entirely different rationale for why our culture has been decaying without relying on the malevolent force of international communism.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      I notice the quality of links sent to me by a couple of people infected with TDS have been shoddy.

      I’ve been in your position. It’s now just plain sad how they just can’t get over themselves and seek help for TDS.

      These people don’t want a debate. They’re too far gone. They send the link because ‘See? SEE?! WHY CAN’T YOU SEE? WHY!??!’ Not to discuss. For example….one of them laughed – of course – about Trump’s rally. I could have responded with some ‘on the other hand’ thoughts and put things into better focus.

      NPC Zombie: Ha, ha! Your boy Trump got only 6500 hundred people after bragging he had registered 1 million people and was fooled by teenagers on Tik Tok! Ha, ha, HA!
      Rufus: Well, that’s true he didn’t fill it up. But did you consider….

      And then you mention the millions who watched live. Or that every single of his rallies in the past were full so it’s like without the pandemic and rioting this one would have almost surely filled up too.

      People stayed home likely because of the pandemic and potential for violence. Or that reports said fake protestors were blocking metal detector entrances and temperature gauging slowed the process down to the point Secret Service closed the doors once Trump appeared leaving people with tickets out in the cold.

      Stuff like that. But don’t you dare. They’ll lose their minds.

      NPC Zombie: You’re a groupie! Ha, ha! He got only 6500 people.Get over it! Biden is in the lead!!!!!

      • Suthenboy

        They did and said the same things in 2016. Trying to reason with them is pointless.

        “But I dont know anyone that voted for Nixon!”

        Wait until Trump gets this one in the bag. Ya’ think the tears were epic in 2016? I wouldn’t be a bit surprised if they tried some kind of civil war shit this time around.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I got five sentences in before I realized that I wrote that well in eighth grade.

      I’m still embarrassed by it.

  20. Atanarjuat

    In the process of looking through that bizarre Twitter account, I found this.

    Bill Maxwell Face with medical mask ByeDon2020
    @Bill_Maxwell_
    George W Bush campaign people & The George W Bush SuperPAC have announced they’re ending GOP operations as long as Trump is 2020 Candidate; & will instead PUT ALL RESOURCES TOWARD JOE BIDEN to defeat TRUMP: “For the good of AMERICA!”

    Is there any more unholy alliance than George W Bush people and DNC types? Barf. This account, by the way, has over 100k followers, and shills shamelessly for Biden.

    • Suthenboy

      Again, who needs Antifa or BLM when we have the Republicans?

      • TARDIS

        Smells that? It’s fear. The single party system is fully revealed, da comrade?

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Wow. Just wow.

      Remember Bush Derangement Syndrome?

      I ‘member.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Just shows how much it’s an elites v. everybody else dynamic that rules politics.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Certainly looks like it.

        I await a flurry of ‘See? Even Bush hates him!’

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Aren’t most people in academia, you know, smart?

    What a knee-slapper. Thanks. I needed a good laugh.

    • Atanarjuat

      I went to college, my professors in organic chem, biochem, cell biology, genetics who I interacted with were wonderful, brilliant people.

      Although now that I think back, I was also required to take anthropology and religion as “multicultural credits” and those professors were babbling morons.

      • Suthenboy

        Same here, though we did have one physics teacher that was a booger-eater.

      • Atanarjuat

        Do you mean “on the spectrum” or actually dumb? Cuz physics is hard.

      • Ted S.

        My freshman advisor was an anthropology professor and classmate of Ted Kaczynski.

      • Spartacus

        OK, Ted “S.”. Is that your real initial? Hmmm???

      • pan fried wylie

        “S.” is the correct initialism for how you pronounce that, I think, the accents are missing.

      • Fribblemeister

        Most of the academics that I encountered in both the sciences and the liberal arts were very smart people. Of course, that was at an excellent university.

  22. Crusty Juggler

    As things open up – even for a short period of time – there will be an increase in Covid infections. Is the plan to close back down again? Is that the plan going forward?

    Are we all going to die poor and alone in our homes?

    • Rhywun

      Yes, yes, maybe.

    • leon

      We have to close down again, or else people might get their jobs back.

  23. leon

    Y’all know me. I try to be fair and even handed, and have no love for Trump. This Mount Rushmore shit has really pissed me off. I don’t even like Mount Rushmore, doesn’t really interest me. But the full on racial strife that the left is perpetuating on every single one of Trump’s campaign events is pissing me off. Come at him with actual things you will do to help the American people. Don’t moralize and at the same time try to stir up racial hatred as your strategy to win.

    • Crusty Juggler

      If the Indians try to rise up we will once again put them down with some bottom shelf vodka and China-made quilts.

    • Sean

      They are not protesting Trump. They’re protesting and trying to oppress Americans who don’t agree with their Marxist policies.

    • Suthenboy

      “When I get through with those niggers they will vote Democrat for 100 years.” – Lyndon Johnson

      That has been their strategy all along they just have it turned up to 11 now.
      I would say that the seeds of the civil war were planted before the Revolutionary war….that was about the time people began to see slavery/racism in moral terms. The civil war and the ensuing battles over racial issues are between people who view those issues through a moral lens vs. people who view them through an economic lens.

      We are still struggling to become civilized.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Another 40 years to go.

      • Where's the Omelette?

        I thought it was 200 years. Apocryphal, anyway.

    • EvilSheldon

      Come on, dude. Do you think they have any desire to *help* the American people? They want the American people impoverished, miserable, and dependant.

      • Not an Economist

        Do you think they have any desire to *help* the American people?

        You obviously don’t have the correct definition of “help”. Attendants from the local re-education camp will be buy soon to assist your transition to temporary residence in said camp in order to help you learn the correct definition.

    • Fribblemeister

      What pisses me off about the Mount Rushmore nonsense as a fiscal conservative is the cost to taxpayers. How much did it cost to fly him out there so that he could bloviate monosyllabic platitudes that mean nothing? The building of the stage, the security, the police up and down the mountain …. meanwhile the CBO is projecting the budget deficit to be more than three trillion dollars this fiscal year.

  24. Pine_Tree

    Hey, any of y’all who know anything about “Hamilton”….

    I’ve picked up that it’s a Broadway show (never seen one), and that it’s very popular, and that a version is on Disney or something. Some of my kids have been asked by another family “do y’all want to come over and watch?”. My three datapoints above (“Broadway”, popular, and Disney) each make it a “NO” for me, plus being more Jeffersonian anyway.

    Mrs. Tree would like a better explanation to give the friends. I have PluggedIn’s comments on crudity and vulgar language on deck already.

    Can any of you give me some Glibtastic historical/accuracy/political reason? This would actually resonate with them, believe it or not.

    • Crusty Juggler

      It’s a re-imagining of Alexander Hamilton’s life translated via hip hop music and dance.

      • WTF

        And I think the founding fathers are all black and hispanic guys for some reason.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        And the writer/star, Lin Manuel Miranda, is an unrepetent shitbag apologist for Oscar Lopez Rivera, mass-murdering commie terrorist.

        I will not commit any money to him, ever.

    • Ted S.

      I would have suggested showing them the George Arliss Alexander Hamilton, but it doesn’t seem to be on streaming video.

      It’s got the bold casting of putting a guy in his mid 60s in a role of somebody who died in his 40s and was in his 30s at the time of the events in the movie.

    • Atanarjuat

      I am completely ignorant of the history. Ancient times are just more interesting to me, sorry. Someday I’ll look into it. Michael Malice is a big Alexander Hamilton fan, I think. No idea why.

      I only comment to bring up this: if you are a straight male who is unfamiliar with Broadway musicals, be forewarned they are somehow sprinkled with magic homo cooties that make every element (the singing, the word choice, the gestures, the costumes, the cutesy puns, every aspect of the style) incredibly grating and repellent to every sense, despite the performers usually being undeniably talented.

      • Suthenboy

        “I only comment to bring up this: if you are a straight male who is unfamiliar with Broadway musicals, be forewarned they are somehow sprinkled with magic homo cooties that make every element (the singing, the word choice, the gestures, the costumes, the cutesy puns, every aspect of the style) incredibly grating and repellent to every sense, despite the performers usually being undeniably talented.”

        *Whistles and refuses to make eye contact*

        You said that, not me. I am also not going to say that ‘showtimes’ make me gag, but hey, to each their own. I am not qualified to tell people what to like.

      • Nephilium

        The IT Crowd did the joke already.

      • Gdragon

        The “spectacle” has some value for certain shows as well. One that comes to mind right away, even if you hate hearing “Circle of Life” it’s pretty neat when all of the cool animal puppets walk through the crowd at the beginning of “The Lion King”.

    • Nephilium

      Just let them watch Avenue Q or Book of Mormon.

      • Rhywun

        Avenue Q is the only Broadway show I’ve ever seen – the free tickets helped. But I enjoyed it.

      • Rhywun

        *I meant actual Broadway – I’ve seen shows in other towns and countries.

      • Nephilium

        I’ve seen both when they came to Cleveland (second largest theater district in the US – And we’ve got a world class orchestra), and was entertained. The fact that the LDS church bought out almost all the ads in the book for Book of Mormon was entertaining in and of itself.

      • Tres Cool

        But you only have ONE Skyline Chili.

        SAD!

      • Nephilium

        Yeah, we’ll get rid of it soon enough.

    • Fribblemeister

      Saw it in Chicago. Thought it was brilliant, though the veneration of Hamilton himself was a bit nauseating.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    The day I got back, before I even went home, I stopped to clean out my mailbox and, whaddaya know, there’s my favorite bar, right across the street.

    I go in to grab a beer, and see if anything has changed. Not much. You still are not allowed to walk up to the bar and just get her to hand you a beer. That would spread the plague. Instead she has to come out from behind the bar to where you are and hand you a beer, take your money, go back bhind the bar, make change, come back out…. Rinse, repeat. As I’m grinding my teeth, watching this moronic charade, she says, “Yeah, they’re dumb rules, but we have to follow them.”

    Right. Rules are made to be followed, durr huur. Much goodly. We follow ’em like good boys and girls because otherwise Big Nanny will spank us. We live to please Big nanny.

    This stuff really grinds on me.

    • Sean

      “This stuff really grinds on me.”

      Like a stripper on meth.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        it used to be “I strip because I want to go to law school’. Now it’s ‘I strip to replace my teeth.’

      • Tres Cool

        Im stealing that, and I intend to use it in conversation today.

    • Nephilium

      In fairness, if the bars/restaurants didn’t follow the rules, they could lose their liquor licenses.

      Now… let’s talk about why they need a license to sell liquor.

      • DenverJ

        Because of Suffrage?

  26. R C Dean

    Political theater at a press conference?

    *collapses on fainting couch*

  27. The Late P Brooks

    Political theater at a press conference?

    *collapses on fainting couch*

    The President’s press secretary always sticks up for him, and takes his side?

    NOT FAIR!

  28. Tundra

    Good morning, Old Man!

    A happy Fourth to you and all the rest of the awesome Glibs!

    It’s a singing saw, isn’t it? So weird.

    Regarding the kids moving home, I am hopeful. Both of mine are chomping at the bit to get the hell out of here. I’ll miss them, but… bye!

    Silent Cal wasn’t perfect, but that speech absolutely was.

    I’m a little embarrassed how far we have fallen. Can you even imagine a pres today trying to deliver that speech?

    My musical contribution today.

    A beautiful song for a beautiful day.

    Have a great one, people. Don’t blow your fingers off!

    • Suthenboy

      Cal is a close tie for my favorite president and that quote is one of my favorites.

      Thanks OMWC!

      • commodious spittoon

        “You have to stand, every day, three or four hours of visitors. Nine-tenths of them want something they ought not to have. If you keep dead still, they will run down in three or four minutes. If you even cough or smile, they will start up all over again.”

    • Rhywun

      A beautiful song for a beautiful day.

      ?

  29. Rufus the Monocled

    I’d better see some kick ass civil disobedience today.

    Happy 4th America.

    The world is watching.

  30. The Late P Brooks

    “Celebrate freedom by staying home.”

    Fuck

    off,

    slaver.

    • commodious spittoon

      Every day, a celebration!

  31. Rufus the Monocled

    Reason to stop paying attention to sports #45855:

    Looks like the Washington Redskins and Cleveland Indians may give in and change their names.

    Might I suggest:

    Washington Whiteskins.
    Cleveland Cucks.
    Washington Wokes
    Cleveland Intesectionalists.

    Left-wing headline:

    “Do we need names for male sports teams?”

    Time to do away with racist nicknames and logos.

    Come to think of it. Do we really need sports with all its racism and toxic masculinity? Just take the money and give it to women’s sports.

    The end.

    • Spartacus

      I vote for Washington “Fuckallyalls”

    • Suthenboy

      So really we are just going to be down to trannies?

      I was never a sports watcher but even I find that depressing.

    • kbolino

      Every boy/man is just an imperfect girl/woman and before too long we’ll correct that mistake.

    • WTF

      Well, it’s DC so the Washington Grifters would be appropriate.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        You know. If it were me, I’d make a complete mockery of the whole incident.

        Washington Paper Clips.
        Cleveland Staplers.

        Washington Walnuts.
        Cleveland Cumquats.

      • Grummun

        Washington Paper Clips

        The mascot can be Clippy from MS Office.

      • westernsloper

        Capital City Cronies

    • juris imprudent

      Can’t believe you didn’t consult The Bee!

      Lizard People – to properly represent DC.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    Can any of you give me some Glibtastic historical/accuracy/political reason? This would actually resonate with them, believe it or not.

    Tell them if they want to watch creepy propaganda, they should tee up “Gabriel Over the White House.”

    • Red Pill Matt

      I’m about to finish the restoration of my dad’s 1968 GTO. Just needs paint job and interior, though I believe I have spent much more than it’s worth seeing those bids.

      • R C Dean

        Way early days in that auction. No way that convertible Judge doesn’t get 6 figures, even during the Current Unpleasantness.

  33. The Late P Brooks

    Celebrate freedom by staying home, or we’ll toss you in the clink

    Miami-Dade County in Florida is imposing a curfew heading into the July 4 weekend to try to prevent exacerbating the burgeoning coronavirus outbreak in the state.

    The curfew, starting Friday night at 10 p.m. and lasting until 6 a.m., will be implemented “until further notice,” said Carolos Gimenez, the county’s mayor.

    “During curfew hours no one shall use streets or sidewalks for any purpose, except first responders, medical personnel & essential worker going to/from work,” he tweeted.

    Freedom is too important to be enjoyed by just anybody.

    • leon

      Fucking Curfew? Fuck theses City and State governments thinking they can do whatever they want.

      I don’t know if my city has done anything, as i don’t pay attention to what they do, and it seems like barely anyone around does.

    • TARDIS

      Needs nekkid ladies with gunz.

      • Q Continuum

        Come back for Glibs After Dark.

    • Count Potato

      It’s giving me some weird captcha virus warning thing.

    • commodious spittoon

      I like the reimagining of bag lady.

  34. westernsloper

    “I know how to get a headline- say something blitheringly stupid ending with the word ‘Trump.’”

    I noticed on my way to the Quickee Mart for ice, that this seems to be the angle for NPR this morning. Concerning the whole Mt Rushmore drama……’It is obvious the route the President is taking with these racist dog whistles to rally his base’

    I also noticed a lady wearing yoga pants and a flannel shirt walking a pet rooster on a leash. Don’t see that every day. Happy Independence Day!!!! Unless you are a pet rooster. In that case you are fucked.

    • leon

      …’It is obvious the route the President is taking with these racist dog whistles to rally his base’

      I think its funny that America is simultaneously a terribly racist country, and Trump making all these racist dog whistles is a bad electoral strategy.

      • WTF

        I am so sick of this dishonest “dog whistle” crap. It’s blatantly obvious that it’s just a way to accuse someone of being racist when they haven’t actually said anything racist. Guess what? If you hear the racist dog whistle, you’re the racist dog.

    • Suthenboy

      “…a lady wearing yoga pants and a flannel shirt walking a pet rooster on a leash.”

      Look, you dont get to drop something like that with no pics. Go to your room!

    • Q Continuum

      FREE THE COCK!

      • R C Dean

        “Nice cock, lady,” would also be acceptable.

  35. Rufus the Monocled

    Where’s HM these days?

    Did I miss something?

    • kbolino

      He pops in occasionally, I don’t remember seeing anything saying he was going away.

  36. The Late P Brooks

    It’s idiots, all the way down

    Two women were struck by a car which sped through a protest-related closure on a freeway, authorities in Seattle said early on Saturday.

    One woman suffered life-threatening injuries and the other had serious injuries, Washington state patrol spokesperson Rick Johnson tweeted. The Seattle fire department said the injured women appeared to be in their 20s.

    “A vehicle drove through the closure and struck multiple pedestrians on the freeway,” Johnson tweeted, shortly after 2am. Just before midnight, he had said portions of Interstate 5 were closed because of protests.

    The vehicle was stopped and the driver was in custody, Johnson said.

    Seattle has been the site of prolonged unrest following the 25 May police killing of George Floyd in Minneapolis, which sparked nationwide protests over police brutality and systemic racism.

    Interstate 5 has been closed at times for protests in the weeks since. Dozens of people were arrested this week in connection with protests, after authorities cleared the “Capitol Hill Occupied Protest” zone on Wednesday morning.

    Early on Saturday morning, video on social media showed a white car traveling at a high speed navigate around two vehicles which were positioned across the lanes as a barrier.

    They’re making the world a better, more caring place. They’re reaching out to establish bonds of friendship and mutual understanding. Let’s all hold hands and sing.

    • kbolino

      The wording makes the “closure” sound official, but if it was official why was it blocked off by stopped vehicles instead of roadway signage?

    • Cy

      “Two women were struck by a car which sped through a protest-related closure on a freeway, authorities in Seattle said early on Saturday.”

      That’s a really nice way of saying people ran out onto a freeway to ‘protest.’

      • juris imprudent

        Obviously their mothers never taught them to not play on the freeway. Boomer parents – the worst.

      • Hyperion

        They should send all the protesters here to try that on 695. That’s a good way to end the protests. They’d be busy cleaning up the body parts for a while. Jobs!

      • Gender Traitor

        #ShovelReady

    • WTF

      The driver was apparently fleeing police in a high speed chase. The protesters just happened to be in the way, although they’ll probably try to say the incident is right wing hate.

      • Sean

        More victims of the patriarchy.

      • juris imprudent

        Did it not prominently mention it was a WHITE CAR???

    • Atanarjuat

      Left-wing protest movements seem to have as much concern for their foot soldiers as a Haitian warlord. Especially when it comes to young women. The worst thing you could ever do as a parent is let your daughter get involved in lefty activism.

      • Pine_Tree

        Yeah, well, the first thing you figure out about them (especially if you look on the world as a father of daughters) is that the proggies actually view the degradation and debauchery of women as a GOOD thing.

        And social media has the added cost (which those girls don’t comprehend at all yet) of preserving that forever. So the ability to walk away from one’s past, present even just a generation ago, is gone. They’re locking themselves into their degradation forever.

    • Hyperion

      “multiple pedestrians on the freeway”

      I think I see the problem here.

  37. The Late P Brooks

    The driver was apparently fleeing police in a high speed chase. The protesters just happened to be in the way, although they’ll probably try to say the incident is right wing hate.

    How odd, that the Guardian would not include that seemingly helpful little tidbit of information.

  38. The Late P Brooks

    If you are interested in why are culture has unraveled, I’ve been re-reading a book from 1979 – The Culture of Narcissism. I remember reading it years ago, and the things it talked about as budding then are now in full bloom. Anyway, it gives you an entirely different rationale for why our culture has been decaying without relying on the malevolent force of international communism.

    Interesting, Juris-

    Let me guess; narcissism, in its full blown manifestation, requires the utter rejection of speech (and speakers) not in complete agreement. Because it’s literally murder.

    End result: totalitarianism, both in law and philosophy.

    • juris imprudent

      It does point to the self-obsessed, which is both Trump and his most vociferous critics – such a beautiful and ironic symmetry; the disconnect of history/tradition is another key element – which supports the maxim that the politics follow the culture.

    • Ted S.

      “*Are* culture’? Really?

  39. The Late P Brooks

    Because it [contradiction] is literally murder.

  40. Trigger Hippie

    Ribs, hickory smoked baked beans, cheesy corn and coffee for breakfast…

    *hits bowl, checks clock, shrugs, cracks a beer*

    Happy Birthday, America!

    • Q Continuum

      At this hour, you should be having mimosas.

      • Trigger Hippie

        I’m already tempting the Heartburn Fates as is. Orange juice and champagne now would ruin my day before it really starts.

    • Count Potato

      You mean cheese grits?

      • Trigger Hippie

        Nah, the kernels are still whole and intact.

      • Count Potato

        Huh, never had that.

      • Trigger Hippie

        *hits bowl again, ponders*

        If St. Louis is The Gateway to the West, would that make places like Illinois and Ohio the Western East and KC residents part of the Eastern West? And wouldn’t that make the residents of the Rocky Mountains the true Midwesterners?

      • Hyperion

        It’s all the Midwest before you get to St. Louis, so Ohio, Illinois, Iowa, all those corn places. If you see lots of corn, you’re in the Midwest. I remember when I was a kid and we did quite a few cross county drives, from Cali back to the Ohio. One of the things I always enjoyed seeing was that arch and saying ‘and now we’re in the West!’. Now St. Louis is just that hellish place you give a wide berth and keep driving.

      • Trigger Hippie

        Look, man. I’m trying to be pedantic here. Don’t pee in my Wheaties.

      • Suthenboy

        “…Now St. Louis is just that hellish place you give a wide berth and keep driving.”

        It seems all of the deep blue cities are rapidly becoming exactly that yet people can’t see the pattern.

      • Tres Cool

        SW Ohio is considered by some to be the Upper South.

        Take that.

      • Gender Traitor

        Daytucky?

      • TARDIS

        Karentucky

      • Hyperion

        “SW Ohio is considered by some to be the Upper South.”

        From Cincy to Portsmouth, that’s all Northern Kentucky, bro.

    • Fribblemeister

      I’ve got a 107 dollar brisket on the Big Green Egg. At 4:00 p.m., give or take, it’s showtime!

  41. The Late P Brooks

    Shocking tragic

    An 11-year-old boy from Miami-Dade County has died from Covid-19 complications, according to the Florida Department of Health, making him the youngest person in the state of Florida to die from the disease.

    The boy had severe underlying health conditions, the health department told CNN. The latest health records show the 11-year-old’s case was not travel-related, but it’s unclear if he recently had close contact with anyone who had Covid-19.

    I’m surprised CNN put the part about underlying conditions in there.

    And now I have this vignette running in my head.

    • Rhywun

      I love how that show thought it was pushing liberalism.

  42. Count Potato

    Happy Fourth of July!

  43. R C Dean

    I’ll give Obama credit, this is actually a good, self-deprecating line from the 2008 primary campaign:

    “Jim Acosta (voice-over): It’s a fitting campaign stop for a presidential contender looking to make history. Standing before Mount Rushmore over the weekend, Barack Obama was asked whether he sees his face joining the likes of Washington and Lincoln.

    Sen. Barack Obama (D-IL), Presidential Candidate: I don’t think my ears would fit. There’s just only so much rock up there.”

    • Hyperion

      4 years ago, the media wanted to put another president on Mount Rushmore, now they want to tear it down. At least they’re consistent.

  44. Tres Cool

    “You were born free, you got fucked out of half of it, and now you wave a flag celebrating it.” -Doug Stanhope

    • Trigger Hippie

      I float around the system more than most here because like Doug, I recognized long ago that I was unequivocally fucked. 😉

  45. Hyperion

    Happy 4th of July, wokesters and Bronies.

    • Count Potato

      See above…

    • westernsloper

      Damn.

    • Suthenboy

      A good start?

      • Trigger Hippie

        Come on, man. That’s a bit much.

  46. The Late P Brooks

    I’ll just toss this out, in regard to all the petty tyrants who want to control my every movement and association, in order to save me from myself, and who believe they have not merely the power, but the DUTY to control me:

    Nobody ever ran for office so they could leave me the fuck alone.

    • creech

      Most Libertarians have but the results show that not many really want to be left the fuck alone.

      • Gender Traitor

        …not many really want to be left leave others the fuck alone.

    • Hyperion

      Well, if you’re going to self quarantine…

    • Hyperion

      “Smokepurpp”

      What the fuck is that?

      • Ted S.

        Smoke Purpple is the one who sang “Deep on the Water”, I think.

      • cyto

        That is A-list funny.

    • Ted S.

      Wait a second. Noah’s a she?

      • Hyperion

        Yes, and her boyfriend is named Purple Puppy or something fucked up. Reality just keeps getting weirder, soon there won’t be anything left to parody. It’s like the Island of misfit Toys on a national scale.

      • Rhywun

        I too am confused. Also, who the fuck are these people? Never mind, I don’t care.

      • Hyperion

        Yeah, it’s probably best you don’t know them.

      • Tres Cool

        I looked him up and tried one of his videos. For as much as I enjoy ‘urban’ music, I made it about 30 secs before I closed it.

    • Hyperion

      “Does that guy have the stupidest name or the stupidest looks?”

      Both?

  47. Old Man With Candy

    I have the perfect solution for the Redskins, satisfying traditionalists and Jew-hating leftists at the same time.

    According to Mormon doctrine, the Indians are actually Jews. So… Washington (((Redskins))).

    • Nephilium

      So the Washington Foreskins would be right out?

    • westernsloper

      Ha!

  48. The Late P Brooks

    So… Washington (((Redskins))).

    Or, as i said the other day, a potato in a war bonnet.

  49. The Late P Brooks

    Today, in pathetic whining-

    I watch a few things on Pluto teevee (via Roku). However, everything is suddenly awash in Steve Bullock ads. Like every commercial break, the same two or three ads will run end to end. Is it going to be like this ’til November?

    Also- if that cocksucker tries to institute a mandatory mask policy, mine will say VOTE FOR DAINES.

  50. The Late P Brooks

    Leave it to the trained professionals

    But dealing with raw meat can be tricky, and cooking it improperly can be deadly.

    “Cooking food thoroughly and handling it correctly is critically important,” Carmen Rottenberg, a former administrator with the USDA’s Food Safety and Inspection Service, previously told USA TODAY. “The food produced is not sterile. … People want to cook raw food and prepare it at home. If you prepare it at home, you have to know there are some risks associated with it.”

    It’s a wonder humanity has survived this long.

    • Hyperion

      See, things like this, you deplorables are always going on about, is part of what we have to get rid of as hate speech.

      In the real history being written for you right now, by your benevolent betters, in the beginning there was government. And then government made regulations and rulez. And government looked and saw that it was good. And then on the 7th day, government gave the grateful humans free healthcare and paid maternity leave.

    • Fribblemeister

      It’s a numbers game. Humans love to procreate.