WASHINGTON DC – In an open session of the Armed Services Committee today, senators grilled Space Force moffs for hours. One of the more contentious issues was the so-called “Alderaan” whistleblower, whose leaked report indicated a fatal flaw in the design of the Death Star space defense superiority system. “Am I to understand that this moon-sized armored battle station could be destroyed by a weapon one billionth its size fired by a ship one ten millionth its size?” asked Senator Jim Inhofe. “Hypothetically, theoretically, yes”, replied Grand Moff Tarkin “but only if enemy spies were able to retrieve the secret plans.” “Which are are available on Wikileaks.” said Senator Graham, “I’m looking at them right now, in fact. There’s even a warning of the exposed exhaust port and the chain reaction a lucky strike could cause.” “Well, surely our engineers meant to fix that later,” said Grand Moff Tarkin. “The note says ‘if they shoot here, we’re screwed”, said Senator Inhofe. “Enough of that. Let’s move on to this planet-destroying superlaser. Now, my understanding is that lasers are focused beams of light, which would therefore move at the speed of light. And given the vast distances of outer space, it could take hours, days, or years for the laser to reach its intended target. By which time the planet would have moved out of the way or the enemy on the planet could have vacated”, said Senator Inhofe. “That is correct, Senator, but you must remember that this weapon is intended as a show of force, shock and awe if you will” said Grand Moff Tarkin, “expensive though it may be, it’s an investment that will pay off as well as provide jobs in every congressional district. The Chinese and Russians are building up in orbit. Senator, we cannot afford a giant superlaser space battle station gap.” “All well and good”, said Senator Inhofe, “but there’s still the issue of the appalling marksmanship among Space Force stormtroopers. Is it the helmets? Because those guys can’t hit a barn door if they were holding the handle. Furthermore, what use would infantry be in space combat? Do you intend to send boarding parties onto alien vessels? And lastly, I have right here a bid from the ACME corporation for an illudium Q-36 exploding space modulator, which is no larger than a stick of dynamite and perfectly capable of destroying a planet. Now what do you have to say to that?” Grand Moff Tarkin slowly waved his hand through the air and said “you will dismiss this hearing…you will appropriate funds for our budget…I have pictures of you going down on Jabba the Hutt…” Senator Inhofe then hurriedly banged the gavel and adjourned the meeting.
Space Force Moffs Deny Rumors of Death Star Cost Overruns
About The Author
Derpetologist
The world's foremost authority on the science of stupidity, Professor Emeritus at Derpskatonic University, Editor of the Journal of Pure and Theoretical Derp,
Chancellor of the Royal Derp Society, and Senior Fellow at The Dipshit Doodlebug Institute for Advanced Idiocy
Loved it, Derpy. I’m gonna go get Chinese food and sit on the beach for a spell.
? get sand in your your toes for me.
– one your
Stroke?
I looked for a toes in sand song and got this.
There is this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kD-unyd10tM
I saw that but confused his work with somebody else and skipped it. I won’t say that made me a Zac brown fan but I watched the video. He wears shorts the same length I do. When in my yard of course. Country music is a weird thing to me. I live in mostly country music country but I am not in the loop. I used to be a big Jimmy Buffet fan because he was the only one singing about being a vagabond on the ocean and that is what I always wanted to be. He threw some beach drinking songs in there and got famous. Now we have some trying to go that route and I dont know them and they are all party songs which was pretty much Buffets shtick as well.
Zac is the short, stout, bearded dude playing the guitar. I dunno who the skinny guy in short shorts is. I used to be able to do that flip to your feet from the flat-on-your-back position (about a 100 lbs ago)
I like boats, and beaches, and gin and tonics. and bikinis.
She had her drink in her hand she had her toes in the sand.
Damn. And I know the lyrics and it nerver came to mind.
Well, since you picked that, I gotta go with https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljuJnUYozUg
Man, I haven’t heard that in years. Thanks.
::secret fist bump for nick::
Didn’t see the Jabba ending cumming.
Neither did I.
Gotta watch out for those space herpes.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-me2inj1nNw
Marvin the Martian for president 2020.
He’s got my vote.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYD3QtyEGGM
The Death Star is a series of tubes, isn’t it?
It’s the internet?
Elon would do it cheaper
The stormtroopers were excellent marksmen until they lowered the standards so as to achieve diversity requirements.
Or so I heard.
+1 aren’t you a little short
Not enough nutrients in the cloning tank?
Mom smoked and drank through her pregnancy. How is that my fault?
I think you’re just misunderstood. Here, take your blaster back and go on about your business.
Here’s some money. Go see a Star War.
How expensive are the toilet bowl seats on the Death Star? Do clones even poop?
(virtually) No clones on the Death Star. They had been phased out rather qui–
What?? Don’t give me that look!
How many geonosians?
Empire was “Humans First”, so I doubt they made any room for those insects after Palps went Emperor.
OT: Alan Dershowitz hasn’t been seen at his favorite nude beach in months
And therefore my annual trip to Lucy Vincent to stare at The Dersh’s big fat Jewish hog has been ruined.
Covid, Ghislaine – you monsters!
I have only been to one “legal” nude beach. Haulover in FL. Ya, I strutted some westernslope hog there. It made the surf settle to calm and the tide rose due to member gravity. I had to leave before I flooded the place and A1A was undrivable.
Been to one in NJ. There was one guy strutting around that would have put you to shame.
We talking flaccid mid thigh, knee Or Long Dong Silver at upper calf?
That was the most CJ article yet, CJ.
OT: The only way to react after your fat best friends tells you he has a 64oz thermos of Kool Aid
NERDS!
Exactly!
Who’s more Nerdy – the nerds or the nerds who hang out with them?
today’s fun facts
Kung Fu Nuns of Kathmandu Watch Horror Movies – an actual bit of fresh air from NPR
https://www.npr.org/sections/goatsandsoda/2020/07/05/886043783/the-kung-fu-nuns-of-kathmandu
Enheduanna (2285–2250 BC), Akkadian princess, priestess and Sumerian-language poet, possibly the world’s earliest known female author
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enheduanna
I take suggestions on funny story ideas.
Write a story from the perspective of Alan Dershowitz’s formerly free, but now enslaved, big fat Jewish penis.
Eh, that’s more Sugarfree’s territory.
Fuck his territory. Invade that shit. His defenses are weak.
While I neither have the time or inclination to write this way, there is an angle – much like the angle of Dersh’s big fat Jewish hog points – to write about it dissimilar to the maignot line-esque SugarFree.
It’s a peen trapped yearning to taste the freedom it once enjoyed!
You DON’T have the inclination???
NewWife will have low country boil done in a minute
* cracks Shiner *
Not being from the South I can only imagine a “low country boil” would have hogs feet in it.
hogs feet
they’re hidden in the sausage
for us:
shrimp
sausage
new potatoes
corn
One of the best meals I have ever had was at a wharf in Seattle. They placed a piece of butcher paper over the table. They gave us a bib and a nut cracker. Then they dumped about 5 gallons of seafood and potatoes and corn on top of the table. Me and my coworker ate ourselves silly.
Boil is tomorrow night for us. Walla walla sweets are finally in season again. Assholes at Safeway tried to mix in the remaining Vidalias.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8tfIJ1Z6ojA
“Eating 14 Carolina Reapers in 1 Minute”
You sick motherfucker. And I like heat, but that’s nuts.
Of course, I’m growing two plants of these…
These: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lv0npcN3rhs
Noice. I sent both those links to my bro, ho’s growing his own chiles.
Your brutha is a ho?
I mean at least it’s an honest living (unlike being a politician)
“The number of people who have been killed by these riots is more than the number of unarmed African Americans that were killed by police last year.”
https://twitter.com/bennyjohnson/status/1280272745092300800
Very Derpy.
I read the title as Space Force MOFO’s
Today was a furlough day.
So, I got out to play golf with my father. Eighteen hole is in 2 hours, 50 minutes.
I love Iowa.
Quite a snappy round!
90+ degrees; high humidity. We was riding in carts. And the course was pretty much empty.
Good for you and your dad. I’m guessing Pops is no spring chicken and you had to try to slow him down a bit. You’re a good son, K.
My father probably plays 300 rounds a year. I can’t keep up with him.
Heh….
Gf is busy red pilling her sister on the phone. Much amusement.
Downside is I might be taking the sister and her husband to the range.
https://mobile.twitter.com/ShootyMcBeard/status/1280284144287780865
lol
What am I missing?
https://www.zerohedge.com/markets/tesla-now-bigger-intel-verizon-att-walt-disney-and-bank-america
Apparently, a portfolio full of TSLA.
I don’t get it. Maybe everybody knows those corporate subsidies are going to be astronomical.
DIS is at ~$115 a share, and highly overpriced there. I’m not buying puts on it, b/c that’s a company with lots of “friends” in DC (and to be fair, a company with a ass-ton of goodwill and non-physical assets ).
Big Boy restaurants replace iconic mascot with obscure character named Dolly
A character from the restaurant’s old comic books will replace the Big Boy.
https://www.foxnews.com/food-drink/big-boy-replaces-mascot-obscure-character
They have a restaurant named Big Boy and their brilliant plan is to make the mascot a little girl.
I guess I’m just not cut out to be a marketing genius like these guys.
They decided that improving the food was too much work.
Maybe Big Boy can start dating Wendy?
My first paycheck job was at Shoney’s (Big Boy’s, if anyone’s wondering about the connection).
Really? ‘Cuz we had both in the area–at differing times–and I never saw a connection.
The BB closest to me growing up was a “Kip’s” BB.
problematic
We live in the dumbest of times. Just change the name of the fucking place then.
Pink slips started going out today at my company. Rumors are that my department is going to be in the 15 or 20% reduction range.
I don’t think I’m on the cut list, but I also don’t think this is the only round of layoffs that are going to happen this year.
I think the rainy day cash is starting to run out in some of the more vulnerable F500 companies. Aren’t we officially supposed to enter a recession sometime this week? Funny how we don’t hear much about the economy these days.
Sorry to hear this – wishing the best for you.
What’s with the stockmarket? NASDAQ hit a new high today. Aren’t the smaller corporations supposed to be more vulnerable to the economic shutdown? You’d think their worth would be plunging much more than the big corporations which have cash reserves and assets that can be pledged for loans.
It makes me want to attempt to time the market, but the market can stay irrational longer than I can stay solvent.
^yep. It makes a good fantasy to be sitting on a stack of puts the day the crash hits, and cash in just in time to ride the steep side of the recovery, but gambling is gambling and the odds are not in your favor. There will be a crash at some point, there will likely be a steep v recovery because the market always over reacts on the crash side. And if you try to cash in on it you will bleed your cash to oblivion before the market cashes you in.
yup: and long puts aren’t cheap anyway
I’m out: with all the market manipulation, there is no investing to be done, only speculating
I am one of the more stupiderist of Glibs in pretty much all things except, how was it put to me once? Making wood stick together. I brushed that off. I started buying stocks in the late 90’s because I read smart people even though I am an idiot who can only make wood stick together. At one point I got sick of paying attention because the fuck nuts who make the stock market do what it does are irrational idiots or it is all manipulated. I cashed in after the next super drop I saw moved back up over nothing and have never looked back. Fuck trading. I put money there every month in an IRA because what else you going to do but I gave up on buying stocks. Then again I sold Netflix in the 2000’s when I bought it in the 90’s so maybe I am an idiot who can only make wood stick together.
It’s an Army blanket and pair of bones these days. There will be a day or two or three of reckoning and like a dumb ass I’ll just stay, watch and cry.
Been there. Hope you make it through the cuts.
Yep. And sales at many other companies that aren’t directly weak will start to reflect the domino effects.
Our CEO seems to be pivoting from this will all be over by summer and back to BAU to this will depress revenue for a long time. There also seems to be a bit of steel in the concern for personal health as covid infections are starting to rise in the employee population. I wouldn’t be surprised if acquiring it will a disciplinary offense soon (you should have done X, Y, or Z or not done A, B, or C).
“…acquiring it (Corona Virus) will a disciplinary offense soon…”
Yep. I saw a company communication intimating just this. If you get it, you have done bad. Your actions outside of company time impact the company, so OBEY.
Look, mange, if I’m on the clock 24-7, I best be paid 24-7. Where my money, bitch?
Good luck, Trashy.
Hopefully you get through this.
If you see Jeff Probst in the conference room it’s time to worry.
Hold strong, trashy. Fingers crossed.
vulnerable F500 companies
Yup: the jig’s up on some programs; all the $T haven’t landed or lubricated yet. I suspect I’m done with this job as soon as the Trumpbucks are gone: usually I’m special, especially on the knowledge/cost ratio, but I took this gig to help someone else expand . . . but there’s no expanding going on so I don’t see why they need me.
I’m seeing serious clients/targets stagger; JCB is the most stunning to me based on their people/experience/intellectual capital/quality model. Long-time employees are getting hit, so there’s no where to hide.
I don’t expect to get another bite at the apple and am already hunkering down for the long haul.
Mammary Monday sez polish your monocle.
http://archive.li/OBjfK
We open with a RealDoll.
Apologies but I don’t remember who posted the link this morning, but a good read
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/2929658/posts
And another by the same author
https://www.americanpartisan.org/2020/05/when-the-music-stops-how-americas-cities-may-explode-in-violence/
Terrifying. Miss 3 meals and everyone is a terrorist.
I want to believe that I am a paranoid, old fool. That I live out in the middle nowhere because I like looking at corn. That having locked cabinets with multiple firearms and ammo is no different than having multiple bows and dozens of arrows I use in the backyard for fun.
In the 90s, I taught a lot of Bosniak and Kosovar refugees. They told me that the cities were the (relatively) safe places, and that the majority of the horrors occurred out in the countryside. In that context, I can see it. Villagers living hand to mouth under communism finally getting a chance to release their pent-up frustration with Balkan-style ethnic grudges.
Nobody can hate like the Balkans. Ever met a Bosnian Serb? Oof.
It could happen here I suppose with all the Germans, Swedes, Norwegians, Poles, Czechs, and Irish that pretty much settled town by town in Iowa.
Except, we are all intermarried for several generations now.
In a nutshell, this is why America works.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GfxL_wuYtSg
Another movie that couldn’t be made today.
That was me with the Bracken story. The combination of that story, lefties who think bolt-action “hunting rifles” aren’t dangerous, and the fact that long range precision shooting is a fast growing event – all together kind of amuse me.
Derpy, very cute!
Derp, I was about 2/3 of the way through before I looked to see who the author was. I was not even skeptical, almost like’s Reagan’s program. Thanks and good job.
We’re livestreaming tonight’s Glibertarians.com meetup
I am not sure that is accurate. If it was a cousin? A strong maybe.
Why so judgemental?
His step sister is not hot?
Racism?
Covering an unhealthy interest in the subject matter?
Common decency?
Exactly!
See, I clicked on that link because half black lives matter.
Thank you for your service.
I AM OFFENDED! MY DAUGHTER IS ONLY 1/4 BLACK. DOES HER LIFE MATTER?
Quadroon Lives Matter
Good work, Derp. You certainly know your audience: hard-core nerdy libertarians.
Real life “space force” would be much more like the Imperial Senate in its corrupt conception, but socialists imagine only the onesie pajamas and “credit” system of Star Trek Next Gen.
They eliminated poverty – did you miss the Mark Twain episode?
“We redefined it away.”
They eliminated poverty by putting all the poors to work in the dilithium mines.
The downside to ending orphan supply
23andme is problematic for transfolk.
I was thinking about genders and English, and where the dominant or only term is male.
“Bachelor of Science” is an example. What would be the equivalent for women in that tradition, “Spinster of Science”?!
I thought “What utter poppycock!” for about half a second before I realized how cool it would sound to be a “Spinster of Science”!!
So you want an SS Degree?
Super Sport, hell yeah!
Mistress of Science?
Wouldn’t that equal Master?
No. You’re a chick, so it’s a half step lower. 😛
Why-I-oughtta!!
Not even 3/5??
Harsh, Spud….harsh.
Bachelor was a rank not a marital condition. I think the equivalent would have been Dame of Science, which actually sounds pretty awesome
Bachelor was a rank not a marital condition.
The days of the MRS degree are gone as well, I think.
When I got married in an East Caribbean island (British), his “occupation” was bachelor, and mine was spinster on the forms.
Bachelor as in the degree comes from the lowest rank of chivalry. A bachelor was a newly made knight who had not been inducted into an order of chivalry.
I have a Masters degree of science.
I will answer to Dame. I was Madam Megawatt to a generation of engineers who are now mostly retired.
Pssst….go with “Lady” https://scottishlaird.co.uk/pages/becomelordlady
“I have a master degree”
“…IN SCIENCE”
still cracks me up.
If we’re going by the actual etymology of the phrase, the feminine counterpart of a BA/BS would be a “Dame’s Degree”.
The Double D?
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I could go for that.
Yeah! Piss on Hall and Oates!
My alma mater used to give Mistress of Patience degrees to grad students’ wives. I think it would be cool to have one of those.
I’m no geneticist, but her friend is an idiot.
??♂️
23andme recalculated my results, again, and now claims that I’m more Native American than Elizabeth Warren. I’m not.
But you just need 1/1023th
Insert obligatory joke about Red Russians
One of the ones that got left behind from the Alaskan land bridge?
It was always pleasant to talk to Native Alaskan ladies in Russian Orthodox churches in Alaska. They were happy to recount a one-in-a-lifetime trip to Moscow to see their patriarch.
Ghislaine Maxwell didn’t kill herself.
Yet.
This man, Kinnath, is a prophet.
Yeah. I kind of missed the joke and then hit it on-the-nose.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EcRg8yuWoAAhEsu.jpg
CULTURAL APPROPRIATION!!!!!
Judicial reform in fair Nippon.
I’m all for it!
(Please notice my account was hacked, and this isn’t me.)
https://twitter.com/CaliConserv1/status/1280259317963186176
“Hey, can you set up my green screen with some homeless broad taking a shit?”
Please tell me that’s real.
I do think it is. Oh, to be a field videographer these days. Even for CNN, the camermen get to see some sh- er, stuff.
I liked the hip hop reply,
“California…..knows how to potty.”
It’s just so apropos for CNN.
🙁 I bought bananas planning to make banana bread, but forgot to get eggs.
That’s what neighbors are for. 😉
The idea of talking to neighbors is fowl. I think I’d chicken out.
But what if you’re really peckish?
I just unegged-ed your labor.
But if you get it from your neighbors you won’t have to shell out for it youself
Which came first, the neighbor or the egg?
Man, cluck off with these chicken-shit puns.
I was using double entendre. Much fancier.
No, your’s didn’t stick in my craw, straff. It’s Cock of the Walk
What happened to the five pound bags of sugar? Why are they all four pounds now?
Inflation must be hidden at all costs! The plebes are too stupid to realize that less at the same price is the same thing as the same amount at a higher price.
The same happened with tuna, ice cream, etc.
Getting less per package causes me more trouble than paying more per package but getting the same quantity.
*sigh*
Well, we’ll see if grocery delivery works. Somwhow I got the 9-10 am spot for tomorrow.
Toilet paper. Have a roll of Charmin Megaroll from a month before corona to recent purchase. Noticeably smaller in every dimension.
and candy bars: remember the huge ones when we were kids?
soft drinks got bigger: min6/6.5, 10, 12 (Double Cola!), 16, 32, 44
I liked soda and beer cans better without the wide mouth opening.
Cereal boxes are half the size they were fifty years ago. The cereal aisle is about the same size, but the brands and frontings have tripled. The smaller boxes serve several purposes.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EcP-XbJUYAE2lPl.jpg
How does he go to the bathroom with all that shit?
Storage bags with insertion points?
Isn’t it customary to just let it flow free, right then and there?
I bet he has some great theme music.
The wee pot to piss in is hanging right there.
Doubling back to my question from the afternoon links (thank you to the people who answered. I got pulled away from the computer)
Genetically is auburn more a red or a brown in the way it inherits/expresses?
My understanding is that auburn leans more toward brown than standard red hair does, but not so dark that it would be described as “mahogany.”
I weighed in with my $0.02 on the red hair genetics question you’d asked, but it was right before the thread died.
I’m back to the debate on whether or not Svetlana could even be Dug’s wife.
As one of a line of Red heads with Black and Blonde mixed in , I would say Copper Reds (me and Wendy) made a Copper Girl and a Blonde Boy, who grew to Auburn as an adult,
Well, I know that canonically, Dug is Blonde, and two of his children are blond as adults.
Svetlana is auburn, her parents have black and auburn, her brothers had black and copper.
I don’t know whether the genes would work for Svetlana to end up with Dug. So I don’t know whether it would include or exclude the possibility.
All of the research indicates that red is recessive to Blond, so that doesn’t rule out Svetlana.
Reasoning – While Vladimir (Svetlana’s father) has black hiar, we know he carries Recessive red (copper) which he passes on to Konstantin. Black being such a strong dominant gene, he could not have passed that on to Svetlana, so she must have also gotten the red (copper) gene from him, getting auburn (brown) genes from her mother, and expressing those.
Thus, if she does end up with Dug, their chilren would have either auburn, blond, or potentially red hair if he got a recessive red gene from his mother (who is canonically blond as well).
So now the question is what makes the best narrative sense.
I’m out.
I have a test tomorrow at at 7 am.
The Chinese ladies (cute though they may be, (their company owns me, literally)) are driving me nuts.
Thank you , commentariat, for keeping somewhat sane.
‘night, nick. Good luck on your test! I need to head bedward myself.
Dreams of stickers that read the right part numbers, Angles that are within 5 degrees, and Measurements that are within 1 inch.
*quietly changes the parts numbers on the stickers*
Good luck!
https://twitter.com/jadensagee_/status/1280134627999600640
Mississippi is Algonquin for “PornHub”.
With Washington, Mississippi has got to be the state most removed from the land of the people/place for which is was named (leaving aside British royalty).
https://twitter.com/TropicaliJaye/status/1279906327884476416
SLD, but no one should be allowed to buy an acoustic guitar unless they can speak Spanish or ride a horse.
Nope. Not clicking on any videos of bitter middle aged white chicks ready to unload.
She sounds a right cunte.
dbl, she’s in your neck of the
woodssea, so sail right around that turd.Depth charges. Breach that hull.
Ahem, not a good look Potato, next it’s theremins, then the dukes go up………..
I built my own. Then I sold it.
Nice, Derp! Hate Star Wars, but this was good.
Note to self: rent storage locker before straff visits
What are the ancients that stare blankly into space as they chain smoke at the coffee shop thinking? Did I leave the iron on? Do I have an iron? What is an iron? How do you pronounce iron?
I assume they are thinking about young women from their past.
*Fills Depends*
“Anyone with Grand-Daddy issues around? I can still kinda get it up…”
http://archive.li/OuYcT/ae4f06149282380dcb7f61980f01f580044523ba.jpg
NSFW.
http://archive.li/SepnG/697240c3c3bd9cefb3ff5159b6541d982c93d86e.jpg
NSFW.
http://archive.li/E606E/9b9d9cc89c56e9ef6287be869ec1c8bb2cb64e5b.jpg
NSFW.
http://archive.li/iiWE1/172dfe29805a8c357d14fc3c382e37d1bd08629a.jpg
NSFW.
Straff’s wife?
Mrs. Chafed.
1 and done
Impressive.
Grew up without a father.
Damn….you may be right.
Have we started slaughtering statue makers yet? As long as that skill exists, we’ll never be safe.
Dunno, but at least there’s new music to play civilization off the stage
https://youtu.be/ov6uzoFxDEU
New one to me. Good.
Al Jarreau-ish. But, he ain’t Al Jarreau
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IqSHqn6HmYU
Gus knows my fav, though. Very Al.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_XSNIpfy3rU
Thou shalt not make any graven image.
For those with teens now or soon: Teach them to either let the people who own the company run it. Better yet, teach them to start their own business, and compete.
These soon-to-be-former employees need to learn hierarchies. They don’t have to like them, but, they either go along, or, get out.
Or, kiss Whole Foods good-bye. That could happen.
I love that article.
This is why I’m not the CEO.
I would absolutely tell those people to find another job. If they can’t understand that having employees wearing a political slogan on the job when interfacing with the public implies an endorsement by the company, perhaps offering the example of wearing “all lives matter” face masks. Or for these woke folk, perhaps simply MAGA would do it. Somehow I think their idea of what people are allowed to do at work wouldn’t include either of those things.
And that mayor… zero chance I would do anything less than issuing a permanent ban of her and her family from all Amazon/Whole Foods properties and services. ‘Cause I’m a vengeful god. I’d definitely trespass her off of the property from that point forward.
So, yeah. Don’t make me the CEO of a multinational. I would not suffer fools, and the CEO has to suffer fools a lot of the time.
So much this. Well, all of it.
In the end, Amazon won’t lose much if they start allowing BLM logos. Some people will stop shopping there. But, to so many others, who would care about losing customers that hate black people, amirite?? They will probably cave, since opposing the idea of BLM is totes verboten. Unfortunately, the idea and the org are not differentiated by most right now.
They already caved on so many things.
I wonder if anyone is going to learn. You don’t win any prizes for playing along with woke. They will turn on you in a second for the slightest of reasons.
Meanwhile, on the other end of the political spectrum – the conservatives and theocrats will usually stand by people who uphold their principles. Chick fil-A. Hobby Lobby.
Ok, short list. But still.
Of course, CfA is starting down that road, now that the attacks on Cathay ramped up earlier. Seems like someone there has been cowed.
But, yes–for the most part the right siders do tend to stand up for favorite businesses.
I have recently learned that the left has done a good job of convincing good, kind, decent people that they bad, dark-hearted, and inherently evil people.
All while empowering batshit crazy people to let their freak flag fly – and rewarding them with power over other people’s lives.
It’s all about power. And, everyone thinks they have a right to it, or, that they would be better with it, or both.
“It’s time to punish my enemies.”
I think it goes beyond power, they want to see people suffering and the want misery and ruin.
Oh, yeah–sins of the past that have to be reckoned with people who had nothing to do with them.
I kinda want this! https://sisyphus-industries.com/
get it!
They are cool. It is simply a plotter printer turned upside down with a magnet in the pen holder. They are mesmerizing to watch at children’s museums. If you have the space, that round one would indeed make an impressive statement as a coffee table.
Don’t do it, it’s a futile endeavor.
It’s a bank-breaker endeavor, alright…
I think that’s the point. Nothing says “i’m richer than shit” better than a computerized coffee table that is straight out of a museum. Pointless displays of wealth are the best displays of wealth.
This is almost as good as the couple that had a mold of their naked bodies having sex turned into a coffee table base. That one had an extra dose of narcissism tossed on top, so it probably wins out. Probably cost a fair share more too.
Ewww….imagine the stains that they could get away with around that.
Ewww….imagine the stains that they could get away with around that.
How in the heck is this stuff double-posting??? Something is definitely wacky with the computer.
Ya gotta plug it in, then hit f8, safe mode with networking, chrome, xnxx.com. should be good from there.
xvideos, or, gtfo
Huh.
Bruh.
Bro
Hey–you got 45th!
Does that come with a cute GIF?
Cute? Nah.
https://gfycat.com/cheerymiserableamphibian
Or https://tenor.com/view/colt45-billy-dcolt45-billy-dwilliams-billy-dbeer-ad-gif-15332390
Noice!
Inorite??
shh..everything is okay…you can go back to sleep…
I’ve covid binge-watched Parks and Rec, 30 Rock, and Arrested Development .
Watching Brooklyn99, but running out quickly.
What is next? I tried News Radio but I no longer tolerate laugh tracks.
Need some more comic scriptwriters, good ones.
That is in short supply–the “good” part.
I’m working my way through Dark, but, it’s somewhat a slog. Not bad, but twisty. And, not a comedy.
I would recommend IT Crowd, but, it does have a laugh track. Still good though. Or, Peep Show, if you have Hulu. Innovative shooting style, without the track. About 50 episodes, give or take.
I’m about to start season 2 of Hannah on Amazon. The original was interesting. The first series was really good but kind of make a turn toward copying Dark Angel as it wore on. Interested to see where it goes.
So many good but not great SciFi projects available these days.
For comedy…. Well, I laughed hard at Rick and Morty, if you haven’t already watched that. I wonder if it works for a female audience? It seems pretty dude-oriented, but it is well written, and well performed.
I kind of hate-watch R&M. So nihilistic, but does have some genuinely funny stuff.
Don’t be such a Morty…
You’re Ricking on my parade.
Spaced with Simon Pegg and Nick Frost
I have the series, but have only watched it once. I love me some Brian, though. Paranoia is great comedy.
Not British, but have you watched Reaper?
Nah. Nothing about it appealed to me.
Didn’t Kevin Smith direct the first ep?
imdb says yes.
Vaguely remember when it debuted.
I’ve only watched a few but they were all funny. Another good suggestion, thanks!
Get that punch card filled up!
Better Off Ted
My Boys (TBS 206-2010)
Pushing Daisies
Ted is supposed pretty solid, which is why it didn’t last, unfortunately. But. I think it stands up.
Watch it before it disappears
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMy5YpJysy4t=20s
In the sitcom realm, I really enjoyed “My name is Earl”. Not sure if that was very popular. Last Man on Earth was pretty great at the beginning.
My wife is probably on her 4th consecutive watch of the entire run of Friends. It holds up. And it is way dirtier than I remembered.
Earl had a lot going for it. Certainly an uplifting series, all things considered.
#AllHailCrabMan
I watched about a dozen or so Earl episodes. I could definitely try that whole thing from the beginning.
I think it’s a pick-me-up type of show. Definitely tried to emphasize people treating each other well.
Yeah, you can’t argue with that. And the norm Macdonald guest spots are gold.
Now shows have to be woke, wherein their positivity manifests as negativity aimed at BadGroup#trending.
Yeah, “Goodness” is being crap to people who are crap. While it can be cathartic, it gets old for entertainment.
And Jamie Pressley was a damned fine comedic actress – kind of brave in a Will Farrell sort of way… not afraid to look bad. And she delivered this terrific bit
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=11lihFv4sRU
Actually…. her character is conceivably based on someone from around these parts….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHzk7_R9ChI
I would hope anyone around here has much much better trigger discipline.
Anywhere, really. Joy ain’t all that bright.
If you are in the mood for stand-up, I found Tom Segura’s sets to be hilarious. I avoided them for a long time for no real reason, then, started watching them, and try to catch them when they hit.
Start with Completely Normal, if you’re keen. He can be out there, though.
My silly iPhone indents the comments so far that once it’s a few replies deep, the thread is single column of vertical letters 🙁
Does one of the Glib apps fix that?
I dunno…it’s that way on computer after, what…7, 8 replies.
Eh, whatevs. There’s just a point where spelling out the words by letter gets a bit tedious.
I am currently lying down with the left side of my face in the pillow, reading with one eye. Got my Bluetooth headphones (built into a comfy headband—great for sleeping in with white noise on.
I got the thunderstorm white noise app running . This will be great for my next long flight. Heck, it’s great f I r everyday use.
It sounds positively dreamy! Sleepy time set-up. I Don’t think I knew there was a glibs app, either. I mean, other than Monocle/Eyepiece as a Tampermonkey script. Even then, I’m not fully aware of what Monocle does on desktop, not to mention mobile.
Google has been doing a great job of changing the words I dictated right about the time I click submit. You can always tell when I’m posting from my phone… I get extremely loquacious, and then I post a phrase that makes absolutely no sense.
You could turn the phone to landscape.
My company decided to go ahead and do our usual intern program this summer. Vastly reduced number compared to years past though.
They aren’t organizing much for our interns so my boss, a director, asked me to put together some sort of tour for them. I want to see if I can herd them over to the San Diego Tokamak.
Your company runs fusion reactors?
Shh, cyto. Just know that knowing too much is….well, I’ve said too much.
I kinda want to go intern at a fusion reactor.
Maybe I’ll turn into spider man. Or the hulk.
You may be aiming a bit too high. Maybe something more like…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7few4tKonWw
Your new Bald Eagle avatar brings this to mind:
We stayed at a cabin in Solon Springs Wisconsin last week. There were two bald eagles nesting down the shore, making for a nice show as we sat out back. But we brought our dog – a rescue dog of indeterminate mixed breed weighing in at around 15 pounds. Which seemed to me to be the perfect snack size for a golden eagle, but I’m not familiar with what a bald eagle might decide to kill. So I looked it up.
A golden eagle is similar in size to a bald eagle, but doesn’t focus on fish like bald eagles do. They normally kill small animals like squirrels and rabbits, but they also eat carrion if they find it. And if they are hungry, they’ll take down larger animals. Like young deer. And sheep. And pronghorn antelope. And bighorn sheep. (holy crap… do not mess with a golden eagle!)
So i flip to the bald eagle page.
Bald eagles prefer fish. They’ll take any fish they can get, but they can only lift a fish up to a few pounds. If they kill a larger fish, they’ll swim it to shore and then eat it.
But if they can’t find enough fish…. they’ll take small game just like a golden eagle. And they’ve been known to kill larger animals. Like a deer.
So I look at my little dog. And I conjure the image of a white tail deer. No contest. Then I look at my three young children playing in the yard. And compare that with a white tail deer. Yeah, I’m taking the deer over a 3rd grade kid in a tooth-and-claw battle to the death every single time. Then I look in the mirror. I’m definitely not as tough as an adult deer. Their hide is made out of buckskin, after all. Mine sure isn’t.
So we kept an eye on the eagles.
They must have gotten plenty of fish. We left with all three kids and the dog.
Pffft….and to think; Franklin wanted the turkey.
Tasty, meaty turkey.
Based on our discussion, I watched the first episode of My Name Is Earl. It brought up an ethical question of relevance to today’s world.
Earl decides he needs to make amends to a kid that he bullied in school. He discovers that the guy is lonely, so he wants to find him a girl. But it turns out he is gay.
Earl has primitive views on gayness.
But despite his views, he takes his old schoolmate to a gay bar and helps him to come out and helps him find happiness in who he is.
Now, the question:
Which is more important? The actions you take, or the private thoughts you have?
Because Earl is skeptical of homosexuality. But he helps this guy come to terms with his sexuality and come out and find acceptance. But I suspect that the majority of today’s social justice brigade would find the entire episode offensive – because you have to repent of all of your sins and admit that you are evil. This is more important than what you actually do.
Hmmm….maybe. I think there would be a lot of finger-pointing at that old, reliable boogey Man: The Conservative, Christian White Man!!!!
When whites are no longer in the majority in the USA (about 20 years hence), will white man still be the scapegoat for everything?
I think it’ll be that we are well on our way to being appropriately punished for the sins of even earlier generations. Payback, and all that.
I wonder if it occurs to these guys that they too will be judged by some future standard that will show them as backward someday.
Doing has to be the only thing that matters. It’s similar to the question in “Minority Report”: is the outcome inevitable, so that arresting before the crime is committed OK, it is the outcome still up in the air until the trigger is pulled?
I argue that actions speak louder, but I’m afraid you’re right:a generation “matured” on social media believes Wrongthink must be stopped and punished.
“Earl” is a nicer Archie Bunker: even tolerant people sometimes have a hard time understanding or relating, but they still know loyalty, friendship, and ethics.
Seconded on the “actions”. We aren’t mind-readers, even if we can infer people’s basic attitudes. We, as a species, seem to understand that reading minds would be a disaster for us, as it would shatter illusions. Better to deal based on actions, since it’s what’s visible.
“ We aren’t mind-readers, even if we can infer people’s basic attitudes”
Which is why I don’t like hate crimes: it dares legally accuse you of bad think. Is it assault? Vandalism? Ok, prosecute that, not the motive.
Yes, motive is supposed to be an element of the crime, not a separate, punishable offense.
Of course, you guys are right.
Which is why they have moved on from thought crimes. Now they’ll just directly punish your white privilege, cutting out the middle man of proving a hate crime through your words or prior reading lists.
I’m not sure why a First Amendment challenge hasn’t been made.
And there’s another way that actions are more important – and this one is harder. When judging other people.
Everyone loves to impute motive in others. It is one of our fundamental ways of dealing with the world. And it is the root of much evil in the world. “She only did that because….”
If we all did a better job of sticking to judging people by their actions instead of what we “know” that they are thinking, we’d be a lot better off. But it is really, really hard to avoid judging someone based on your interpretation of “why” they did something.
Some guy blowing his horn is just a brief noise. But some guy blowing his horn at you is an asshole! Even if you have no idea why he blew the horn. Best to leave it at “I wonder why he blew his horn” instead of imputing nefarious motives. The same goes for all of our daily interactions.
“Doing has to be the only thing that matters.”
Disagree.
One can insincerely “do” (or not do) just for the optics.
Just saying there is no pat answer.
“because you have to repent of all of your sins and admit that you are evil.”
The “social justice” movement is none of that. It is about redefining sin: aka “I’m not a sinner – YOU are!” There’s nothing new, enlightened, nor intelligent about it. SJW’s would only find the skepticism of homosexuality offensive, they’re totally on board with the bullying. They’re just the early 21st Century version of Pharisees – just wait until you see what the next generation of narcissistic nitwits comes up with.
Just like granting Women’s Suffrage. It was a power-play to the 19th Amendment. It’s half the reason that I became a Glib. Those assholes are always playing the long game. “Stop doing stuff I personally don’t agree with!”
COVID has had some beneficial side effects, such as interesting news bloopers
/news bloopers are always a bit of humor if you find yourself wandering YT.
Enjoyment was derived from this compilation. Back to you, Digby.
https://mobile.twitter.com/ArtValley818/status/1280391549637890049
*comment deleted*
https://mobile.twitter.com/DC_Draino/status/1280311253852925953
How dare you?
?
https://www.cnn.com/2020/07/06/business/blackout-day-2020/index.html
People will be all over Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram using their Verizon and AT&T data plans while staying home watching Netflix and Hulu and talking about the blackout.
I will be doing exactly none of those things.
Neither will the vast majority of black folks.
Deep Purple. Medieval style:)
https://youtu.be/P1ePVCPtOtU
Good morning Glibs.
When packing up a box of boxes to take to the curb, be sure to check the suitability of the main box for the purpose.
I very nearly ended up with a loose scattering of boxes instead.
Glib morning, UCS.
I’ve got a couple of narrative questions to answer – Kill Lothar, or keep him alive; Svetlana or Cassandra; Do I break Jotunrender?
::grabs discarded box, tears off a side, scrounges for a marker. Scrawls a crude sign: “Will beta-read for banana bread.”::
A: I’ve not gotten a whole lot on the page so far.
B: I won’t have the missing ingredients for banana bread until 10am.
I’ll send you the bit from the end of “Prince of the North Tower” you haven’t seen yet if that works.
Whenever you’re ready – don’t really mean to rush you. I’m just in need of an engaging read at the moment. I’ve diverged into some history for the time being, and will probably give the book my sister gave me for Christmas another chance after that.
It was not very much, so I sent it in an email.
Got it! Thank you! I’ll read it this evening after my swim and Fish Stick Day dinner.
From a storytelling standpoint, Lothar and his son Andrei aren’t doing anything. In the original mental storyboarding of the scenes most recently finished, Lothar was supposed to have been hit with arrows, only the archers got removed from the scene when redoing the choreography of the fight to make more sense on the page.
As a standalone scene, Lothar’s death, his last words to Andrei and Hengist providing empathy as someone who went through a similar loss not too long ago would provide a good deal of pathos. But in the larger context it runs the risk of disrupting the narrative flow and sapping all sense of triumph from the otherwise successful escape from difficult circumstances. It could easily feel like the protagonists are skulking away from a failure, and I’m not sure if that’s the right tone for this point in the book.
In the question of Svetlana versus Cassandra (placeholder name, subject to change), Cassandra is the lazy, ‘epilogue relationship’ where I don’t have to put any of that messy stuff on the pages on an already crowded narrative. It also helps avoid the situation where Dug, Karl, and Peter all return from this trip with brides, all of whome have hair in the red to red-brown spectrum. That and I can’t see Svetlana giving up her entire homeland (in which she has personal landholdings) to follow this thoughtless dolt into a culture she’s never even heard of.
On the other hand, Svetlana is a character both Dug and the reader have already met, so the relationship can develop in the story proper, adding its own layers and dynamic to the narrative.
Breaking Jotunrender mostly comes down to “I had this idea for a cool reforging scene”. But it’s already a crowded narrative, and I’m not so sure I want to spend the time on it
I’ll refer back to these thoughts after I read what you’ve sent (if they apply to the passage.) I need to hit the road early this morning – I’m out of proper breakfasts to take to work, so a pilgrimage to Timmy’s is in order.
Good morning, UCS & JD.
Yesterday at work was hectic, start to finish. I hope today is calmer. At least I can look forward to having my Zen time in the pool after.
Greetings and Salutations!
I have work today.
*whines* I don’t wanna go back to work.
See below. It’s going to turn toxic.
Good morning to you too Uncivil!
And a Happy Day to all the early folk!
Bitch-Bomb for the day. One of my sites has 14′ ceilings and I am prohibited by safety code to replace light tubes more than 12′ above the floor. I told them about four years ago that I wasn’t responsible for that chore. Yesterday they they called my Supervisor and harangued xer to no end. Had to go around the building and count the burnt bulbs. Fifty. Fifty fucked up lights that they and building maintenance are responsible for. Why the fuck are you bothering me with this nonsense? Why did you let it get to such a state? This bodes unwell for poor old Festus because the last time we had this fight they went guerrilla. It turned into a series of whatabouts that made me question my employment. Paranoid is no way to make a living, Son.
Luckily, I’m pretty OCD at work so if they want to trip me up in retaliation I’ll either have a good excuse or be able to head them off at the pass. Funniest bit is that even if the multinational company loses the contract, the next boss just hires the same drones that know the buildings. I’m on my third employer at this site as we speak.
I’m trying to do the math. Assuming you are 6 ft tall (in metric as well) and can reach 2 feet more you need a ladder that you can climb up safely to 6 feet to reach the light bulbs in question. Job security! My boy, Festus, is the winner! Demand a pay raise for this new venture. You da man!
I was once the guy to change flourescent transformers at some of the company’s stores. Because I was cheaper than an electrician and I really kind of enjoyed it. Work when no one was around, etc.
The rule coming down the pike was sorta synchronous with the onset of my vertigo. I lose all sense of balance once I get about five feet off the ground. I have to hold the cripple bar in the shower when I close my eyes. It’s actually pretty serious and not me being a shit-bird although I wish it were the opposite. 🙂
Falling off of a ladder is no small thing. My father fell 3 or 4 feet off of a ladder onto soft ground and shattered his ankle.
Six or eight feet and landing on a hard floor is a different story. Let the yunguns handle that job.
Yours sounds worse than mine. I get vertigo by tipping my head back looking up for more than a few seconds. Changing the ceiling mounted air intake that is only 8 feet high is risky for me.
I installed a couple of ceiling fans some years back. Doubt if I could do that now. I can’t even get on my own roof and it’s only about 16′ off the ground. The kids have to come over to shovel the snow off. Whither the monkey in the tree?
I took all of the cursed fluorescents out of my house and threw them in a dumpster. I replaced them all with LEDs. I am very happy with them. More light of a more pleasing color, no bulbs to change and no risk of fire.
The other site I service with fifty foot ceilings broke down and hired someone to replace every ballast. I haven’t changed a tube there in nearly three years.
Aside from the crappy light I dont like them because I have seen those ballast start fires on three occasions. There is a short list of things that scare me and fires are definitely on that list.
#metoo