The Experiment Ends – And Links

by | Jul 16, 2020 | Daily Links | 291 comments

Experiment? We have no idea what you are talking about…

 

SUBJECT REPORT FINAL 071620 – Subject RAPERNON is now completely indistinguishable from an ordinary mouse. We anticipate subject SWISS SMITH will see a similar return to previous condition. Memory suppressing drugs will be administered.

 

“Everything is back to the way it was before.” Mad Scientist scowled at the empty lab room.

“We had better hope the memory loss drug works, or we are in deep fondue.” OMWC looked over the room with a gimlet eye.

“Nothing more to be done here. Get him over to Swiss Corp.”

 

“Sir, you look a bit rough. Is there anything I can call for, or get you?” Prathiba looked worried.

“No…say, wait. One thing. Send some flowers over to Glibertarians.com HQ. Address them to RAPERNON.”

 

  • Awww…who could be upset with a “Cozy Bear“? Alternate text…. ROOOSHIANZ!!!!!!! I KNEWS IT!!!
  • CWAA…but “Goading“? Sounds like an obsolete hockey penalty. This one looks like it will run like the cunte that urged her depressed bf to off himself…and he did/she was charged. Not sure if the NV judiciary can resist the pressure to let this stand.
  • Water Warz…coming to a Nile near you!

 

About The Author

Glib Staff

Glib Staff

291 Comments

  1. leon

    Stealing the vaccine? Bernie was gonna give it to them for free!!!!

  2. leon

    Las Vegas man… What a bunch of assholes.

    • Suthenboy

      Two words…. Neck tattoo.

    • leon

      Police said Jones kept “laughing and filming” Coner for nearly 10 minutes as he urged others not to call for help. Coner was eventually taken to a hospital with a serious spinal injury, police said.

      Really stretches my limit. I don’t know what the right answer is, but maybe have tattoed on his head “I watched and let a man die”, so that if he ends up stabbed in an alley, no one feels obligated to help him out.

      • The Hyperbole

        It’d be a bit like nabbing Capone on tax evasion, but since he ‘hired’ the guy to do the backflip I’d imagine a creative DA could come up with all kind of OSHA and Labor violations.

      • Not Adahn

        It wouldn’t be a DA, it’d be a US Attorney — much easier to crush the accused too.

      • Ozymandias

        I think what he did was tortious, and likely criminal in a sane world, but I arrive there from a different set of premises than the NV judiciary and justice system. I’m also adding in some “facts” (presumptions) about the mental well-being of the homeless man in the article. He paid someone – likely with some mental limitations – to take an abnormal risk with a high likelihood of injury… and then they got injured and died as a result of his inducement. I don’t have a problem with some criminal liability for that.

        Let me change the incident slightly: a man “dares” an 8 year-old to jump off of a ledge into water of unknown depth. Kid does so, hits some objects, is injured, struggles in the water and is under for a bit. Someone pulls him free while man is standing there telling people “he’s fine” and discouraging assistance. Kid later dies from the combo of injuries from the rocks and water inhalation. I find criminal liability there, too.

        Maybe a homeless MAN isn’t quite an 8 yr old, but the difference between the latter and former isn’t great enough for me to consider that the former is completely A-Okay and should excuse the instigator. That homeless guy likely had a whole helluva lot more need for that $6 than the kid does for jumping off of a cliff.

      • kbolino

        What if the mental capacity of both participants was roughly similar?

      • Ozymandias

        To be very apolitically acorrect: retards daring retards to harm themselves should probably be discouraged, as well. BUT, I’m… less certain about criminal liability attaching in those circumstances because of the lack of the necessary mens rea for the inducement.

      • Tulip

        Yep. I see this as different from the girlfriend telling boyfriend to off himself, though I’m not sure I can articulate why.

      • Chipwooder

        Remember “Bumfights”? Kind of reminds me of that.

      • C. Anacreon

        “I watched and let a man die”

        It’s not like he killed a man just for snoring.

  3. leon

    The UN should declare the Nile a World Heritage site. And blow up all the damns on it.

    • Not Adahn

      So are we going to war with Egypt or Ethiopia? I can’t remember which one buys more stuff from us.

      • Gadfly

        So are we going to war with Egypt or Ethiopia?

        *Sudan shifts nervously in the corner*

    • R C Dean

      I have a strong suspicion that dam was funded by the ChiComs.

  4. grrizzly

    What’s there to steal? A vaccine for common cold?

    • Swiss Servator

      This one weird trick cures viruses! Repressive governments and pharma companies hate it!

    • Sean

      We can’t have a vaccine gap, comrade!

  5. leon

    So do i win something for commenting on every link before anyone else?

    • Raven Nation

      “So do i win something for commenting on every link before anyone else?”

      Of course: Fuck off Tulpa!

    • Tonio

      STEVE SMITH PAY VISIT TO BELOVED COMMENTER LEON TO THANK HIM FOR HEROIC COMMENTING DUTY. AND BY THANK MEAN RAPE.

      • Tulip

        Tonio! You’re back! Yay! Missed you

      • KibbledKristen

        Dude!!! We’ve missed you tons!!

    • juris imprudent

      You been sharing needles with Brochettaward?

      • leon

        Hey now, no need to be hurtful. What i did, i feel like was a legitimate accomplishment.

      • Jarflax

        It was a legitimate accomplishment. Unfortunately we are all bastards so we don’t appreciate it.

  6. Yusef drives a Kia

    Damn Dam!

    • C. Anacreon

      Pebbles loves him.

  7. Swiss Servator

    Leon appears to be our sole commenter.

    • Swiss Servator

      Of course, as soon as I hit “post”

      • Gender Traitor

        So…ummm….Swissy! How’ve ya been? ::takes a couple of steps back::

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I must be Swiss Cheese? no wait, that’s you……….

  8. Aloysious

    Speaking of sneaky fuckin’ Russians… I’m watching a Rammstein in Moscow concert. Coincidence? I think not. Rooshians are everywhere.

    https://youtu.be/rD5HIzyvL3A?t=1088

    • Swiss Servator

      Darn straight…Russia is chock full of ’em!

      • Aloysious

        I wonder if there is a PUTIN SMITH?

        Would he be like PUTIN SMITH DRINK WODKA! AND BY DRINK WODKA, MEAN RAPE!

        I don’t know, but I’m kinda scared to find out.

    • SDF-7

      I thought they were all living in Amerika….

  9. leon

    Swiss, you may want to talk to Ozy, seeing as once again you’ve been tested on against your will.

    • Not Adahn

      *takes a screenshot to prove that a commentatarian named “leon” once existed*

      • leon

        if i stop commenting, it was STEVE SMITH who dun it.

    • Mad Scientist

      No harm no foul.

  10. Chipwooder

    “Two minutes for goading plus a ten minute misconduct”

    The used truck market is wack. Finding something a)under 100K miles and b)under $20K is damned difficult.

    • Count Potato

      I blame cash for clunkers.

      • Chipwooder

        It was a disaster, but would we still be seeing the effects a decade later?

      • kinnath

        yes

      • B.P.

        I own several cars, all of them predating the Obama administration. Cars built this century last a long time with a little care.

    • Chipwooder

      I should add, I have to have a crew cab. I’ve seen plenty of standard cabs that fit the bill.

      Best option I’ve seen at the moment is a 2011 Avalanche with 90K miles. Kind of wanted a traditional pickup, though.

      • Mad Scientist

        I ended up flying to Dallas a few years go, buying a truck, and driving back to CA, because I couldn’t find a truck that suited my needs here.

  11. Aloysious

    Not sure if the NV judiciary can resist the pressure to let this stand.

    The judiciary, being filled with men of unimpeachable integrity, will not crumble at the first accusation of the racisms, and will not put out a statement of solidarity with the BLM mob. To be sure, these virtual paragons will stand firmly for Truth, Justice, and the American Way. If their wife lets them.

  12. Tonio

    What, you mean that govt-funded academia isn’t sharing vaccine and testing info with their worldwide colleagues so that everyone can be working on a cure? We’re all in this together, after all.

    • leon

      I thought for a second you were gonna say that we can have our Govt-funded academia, as long as it’s paid for by donations.

      • Chipwooder

        If you like your academia, you can keep your academia.

    • Drake

      China already has an exclusive deal with them.

  13. Suthenboy

    Why do the Russians have to steal it? The most deadly deadly virus ever, everyone is going to catch it sooner or later, bodies piled up like cordwood…the world is committing economic suicide over it…someone comes up with a vaccine and why are they not giving the info away to anyone who wants it?

    • leon

      Suthen, we can’t allow there to be a Vaccine Gap!

    • Not Adahn

      You can’t be a Bond Villain without stealing the Americanski’s secret fomulas.

      • Suthenboy

        When I think Bond villain the first person that pops in my head is George Soros. The guy is obviously trying as hard as he can to play the part. I would be shocked to find out that he does not have a white Persian cat.

        It is hard to see Putin that way…the guy is only 4 feet tall. If he gets on your nerves just step on him.

      • Not Adahn

        Putin’s probably killed more people personally than any other politician in the Northern Hemisphere.

      • kbolino

        What is Xi Jinping, a transplanted liver from an unwilling Falun Gong “donor”?

      • Not Adahn

        I thought Pooh bear was a lifelong politician, not a secret police enforcer.

      • kbolino

        Ah, I skipped over the “personally” part. Fair point.

    • The Other Kevin

      I’d be more worried about China, they’re more likely to steal it and make a knockoff version called “happy germ remove.”

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I Larfed!

      • Tejicano

        And the Chinese knock-off would result in a mutant virus variant worse than what we’re dealing with now.

  14. Count Potato

    “Pictured: Leaked ‘racist’ map of the world ‘according to Americans’ shown at Red Bull conference that led to the firing of three execs who called for company to make a statement in support of BLM

    Photos have emerged from a ‘racist’ slide show made by a senior Red Bull executive which sparked anger among the U.S. employees, and ultimately resulted in the firing on Tuesday of three top executives.

    Stefan Kozak, CEO of North America for the Austria-based company, and Amy Taylor, North America president and chief marketing officer were let go, the energy drink company confirmed on Tuesday.

    Kozak and Taylor had lobbied in recent weeks for more diversity in the company and were blamed for the leak of a letter that criticized Red Bull’s ‘public silence’ on Black Lives Matter. ”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8530435/PICTURED-Racist-map-world-Red-Bull-exec-showed-illustrate-global-corporation.html

    • kbolino

      I turned off my adblocker to read it. I gained nothing from the experience. In fact, I’m dumber for it.

    • kinnath

      Nationalist, not racist.

    • leon

      Florian Klass, global head of music, entertainment, and culture marketing, was fired Monday

      Geeze. With a resume like that, you’d think he’d be culturally sensitive.

      FWIW i don’t know what the racist part of the map is. It seems like a joke at American expense.

      • Suthenboy

        I think it is funny. I dont see anything racist about it.

        This is what we have come to? I cant believe people are caving to this nonsense.

      • leon

        I think it’s funny in a “Hahaha Dumb americans” kind of way. And that’s the only way i think it can come off since a Team from Austria put it together. In other words, it is so over the top that it seems ridiculous to think that it was making fun of other countries, but the American belief about other countries.

        If you can’t poke fun at that, because it used stereotypes of other countries, i think that is insane.

      • Tulip

        There had been complaints about this guy’s sense of humor before. He apparently doubled down. Not great judgement in his job.

      • Tulip

        Not so much caving, as saying enough of your crap.

        I th I k it’s dumb, you think it’s funny. I hope we can agree that there is a time and place for different types of humor. If Pie posted something like that here, I’d probably chuckle and move on. But this was at work, and he was either insulting the foreign workers, or the American workers. For what? Bad judgement, firing justified.

      • Drake

        I didn’t get it either.

      • juris imprudent

        Looks like this company

        *dons sunglasses*

        has no Klass.

      • Agent Cooper

        For some reason I think I am connected to Florian Kass on LinkedIn.

    • Tulip

      Even before the BLM protests I would think they were showing questionable judgement including that in a professional presentation.

      • kbolino

        Seems tame relative to some other companies.

      • Not Adahn

        We had a product who’s code name was also in a 1970’s TV show. For the celebration of the first wafers, one of the senior execs came to work wearing a polyester suit with bell bottoms, a butterfly collar… and an absurdly oversized afro wig. And that was less the a decade ago.

      • kinnath

        I miss the 70s.

      • Suthenboy

        It is irreverent in a light-hearted way…but racist? I dont think so.

      • Tulip

        I should clarify, I don’t think it’s racist. Poor judgement, yes. It’s not really funny, just dumb to me, and deliberately insulting to foreign employees. The presentation was to the global group. Today’s environment, anything questionable is labeled racist. I think it would be fireable even without the current environment because you don’t deliberately insult your foreign employees and investors just to.make a lame joke.

      • leon

        I’d say it was ill advised, except it appears he had been advised against doing it. So yeah, i agree, it is something friable to do, especially when you’ve been told not to do that thing.

      • Tulip

        One of neighbors has weekly meetings. The meetings are supposed to start with a joke and it rotates who is supposed to tell one. He said great! I know thousands of jokes.” His wife said, ‘work appropriate jokes.” Pause. He said ‘i know 4 jokes.’

      • Ted S.

        I want to hear those thousands of jokes!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I get the impression it was intended to mock Americans’ simplistic view of the world. The guy was Austrian.

      • Count Potato

        Do you know…

    • R C Dean

      So Red Bull fired some BLM virtue-signalling executives? Supposedly over a joke “AMERICA, FUCK YEAH” map?

      Does this make any sense to anyone?

      While Red Bull employees in the US have been pressing for the company to be more vocal about racism, Red Bull’s billionaire CEO Dietrich Mateschitz is a Donald Trump admirer who has spoken out against ‘political correctness’.

      Hmm.

  15. Count Potato

    “Ice Cube has hit back at Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, accusing the NBA star of being a Judas after he criticized the rapper and several other black celebrities for their anti-Semitic tweets that he called a ‘troubling omen’ for the Black Lives Matter movement.

    In a scathing column published in The Hollywood Reporter on Tuesday, Jabbar called out Ice Cube, NFL star DeSean Jackson and fellow NBA player Stephen Jackson for recent social media posts containing anti-Semitic messages, some of which promoted the controversial views of Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan.

    Jabbar referred to a series of tweets by Ice Cube last month that contained ‘creepy symbols and images’ implying Jews were responsible for the oppression of blacks.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8529939/Ice-Cube-calls-Kareem-Abdul-Jabbar-Judas-Hollywood-Reporter-column.html

    Kareem looks down on everyone.

    • Chipwooder

      “Judas”…..and we all know what Judas was, don’t we?

      • leon

        Black?

      • leon

        LIke Jesus.

      • bacon-magic

        Goat?

      • Drake

        Baah. I don’t think so. Saw him get dominated in the playoffs by Chamberlain, Cowens, Walton, and Malone.

        He’s just a guy who played a really long time and had a good hook shot.

      • bacon-magic

        No, I mean goat. As in the animal. Kareem I’m not a fan of at all but he can say something intelligent occasionally.

      • Count Potato

        Hell bent for leather?

      • juris imprudent

        A priest?

      • PBRstreetgang

        Breakin’ da law?

    • The Other Kevin

      I feel like we’ve erased 50 years of progress in the last month.

      • Drake

        Once in a while you have to find out who you are allowed to insult and who you aren’t. (Hint – you can only insult white Christians)

      • kbolino

        The good news is it’s actually taken a lot longer than a month. The bad news is that it’s going to be a lot more than 50 years’ worth of progress.

      • Suthenboy

        Bingo.

        I saw a investigative news show in the early ’90s on racism. The reporters went around to high schools and colleges round the country and surveyed students. Racism? What’s that? Mixed couples everywhere…groups of friends that included every demographic. The students didnt give a shit about race. Conclusion: racism is finally dead.
        The left panicked and they have been picking at those scabs like crazy ever since. Look where we are now. God, I fucking hate them.

      • Jarflax

        Dating back to the roots of the culture being destroyed? 2800 ish

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Kareem is a cool dude. I wish there were more like him.

      • Drake

        Really? I’m old enough to remember a lot of his career. I found him to be a whiner and constant cry-baby prone to tantrums and sucker-punches.

        He’s also in that category of dumb I reserve for blacks who convert to Islam because slavery and racism.

      • Chipwooder

        Perhaps – I can only remember him at the very end of his career.

        At least he didn’t buy into NOI’s bullshit, though.

      • Suthenboy

        Nothing says anti-racism and anti-slavery like the world of Islam.

      • Chipwooder

        He’s an interesting guy. His book about the 761st Tank Battalion was surprisingly good.

      • Translucent Chum

        His name is Roger Murdock.

      • Not Adahn

        What’s your vector, Victor?

      • Tres Cool

        Over, Unger

    • Ted S.

      You sure it wasn’t Roger Murdock criticizing Ice Cube?

      • Translucent Chum

        Heh.

    • PBRstreetgang

      Kareem also had some sort of writing gig on Veronica Mars season 4, as well as winning on Celebrity Jeopardy. He’s got quite the resume.

      • PBRstreetgang

        And was in Game of Death with Bruce Lee! Total renaissance man.

      • Fourscore

        Sky hooked him, I’ll bet

    • Chipwooder

      I’d wager the majority of NHL teams are since, y’know, there aren’t that many black hockey players.

    • Apples and Knives

      An all-white hockey team? What’s next, an all-white downhill skier?

      • leon

        What about that Rugby team!

      • Jarflax

        Bunch of Maoris

    • Ted S.

      I wonder when the woke brigades are going to come after Athletic Bilbao.

      • mrfamous

        Chivas

    • Count Potato

      Wait until people hear about the Winter Olympics!

      • Chipping Pioneer

        The Jamaican bobsled team would like a word.

    • Chipping Pioneer

      What’s he on about? Auston Matthews’ mother is Mexican.

      Leafs suck.

    • Agent Cooper

      Our Blue Jackets have Seth Jones, who is half-white.

    • Suthenboy

      I remember many predictions here that a Trump presidency would be the most entertaining in history. He did not disappoint.

      • Aloysious

        I’m not sure if I’m entertained, or frightened for the future.

        Maybe a little of both.

      • TARDIS

        I’m no longer entertained. We’re doomed. Talked to my boss today. All of us are being ordered back to work… but only part time. Fuck me….

        Everything is being couched as positive, yet over half of the managers in my division, including mine, are taking early retirement.

      • kinnath

        Two of my co-workers are retiring next week. I believe that I am now the oldest in my group. There is one guy old enough to have a kid in college. The rest, including my boss, are younger than my kids.

      • The Hyperbole

        Meh, pence hasn’t shot anyone yet.

  16. DEG

    The Clown Prince likes his state of emergency

    Sununu said he will likely extend New Hampshire’s state of emergency, which is set to expire Friday. He said that if the state of emergency was allowed to expire, the orders that have been put in place related to the pandemic would also expire, potentially leaving the state poorly equipped to fend off a new surge in cases.

    • Drake

      If I take the boot off his neck, he might try to get up.

    • Nephilium

      He’s an amateur. DeWine signed an order extending it indefinitely. Of course, my county has logged ~2,000 complaints since Monday for violations of the mask order.

      In happy news, the brewery’s $6 mystery six pack was a Dry Irish Stout (which explains why it was on special). At least it’s a non offensive beer.

      • Suthenboy

        The hired help here said on radio day before yesterday he is issuing a mask order and “You may not like it but you are going to do it”.

        I was driving at the time and instantly got so angry my vision faded for a few seconds. If I ever run across that son of a bitch I promise I am going to kick his ass. I will be smiling in my mugshot.

      • Nephilium

        The fact that I need to keep reading updates to see what plans I need to change continues to annoy me on a regular basis.

    • kbolino

      I’m not sure that’s how states of emergency are supposed to work. But I am pretty sure nobody will stop him.

      • Drake

        Seven months ago I never would have believed a single state had any sort of “emergency” law that allowed a governor to declare an emergency, assume dictator-like powers, and continue that emergency forever with zero say from the legislature. A few states had sensible laws (Wisconsin), but most never thought to limit a dictator’s term.

        The beginning of the end in the Roman Republic wasn’t all that different (Sulla’s 3-year dictatorship).

      • Suthenboy

        Yet the state of emergency laws are in direct contradiction of most state constitutions and the US constitution, thus they are not laws.

      • Drake

        None of that matters a bit.

      • Suthenboy

        *Rubs oil on Mini-14*

        Maybe, maybe not. The mask mandate is not the hill to die on.

      • Jarflax

        BLM getting their wishes sure is.

      • kbolino

        One of the most telling things, and it happened early on, was when I heard on NPR (yeah yeah I know) that the state legislators had asked the governor to do something or other through his EOs. I was dumbfounded by this. The legislature does not ask the governor to make the laws. The legislature makes the laws. But this plain failure of basic civics was not commented on by NPR nor anyone else that I heard. And, no doubt, this strange way of doing things was “easier” for everyone involved. The path of least resistance. And so we slouch nonchalantly towards some future dictatorship.

      • mrfamous

        Wisconsin remains the only state where the judges smacked this shit down

      • DEG

        NH’s emergency powers law dates to 2002.

  17. Drake

    New Jersey lawmakers Thursday approved a plan to borrow up to $9.9 billion to balance the state’s budget, even though one nonpartisan legal opinion says the borrowing is unconstitutional.

    That’s how you balance a budget. Don’t even consider furloughing useless state employees. Keep on paying park rangers while the parks are closed and teachers for doing whatever it is they are supposedly doing.

    The idea is that if the Dems win big in November, they just print up $10 Billion and hand it over. If Trump wins, the state is even more fucked than before.

      • Ted S.

        I’ve never understood why it’s not called “qualitative easing”.

    • Hyperion

      “Don’t even consider furloughing useless state employees.”

      Hey, that’s the voter base. Isn’t being reelected the most important thing so that we can get rid of orange bad man? I mean even if we are all so broke we can’t even pay attention, at least the Nazi will be gone!

  18. Fourscore

    Let me understand this.

    A black man goads another black man into what looks like a suicidal attempt of tomfoolery or something. Second black man dies and first man has a light hearted laugh.

    In other words, a black life really didn’t matter. To me, it looks like a case of murder, knowing that the result could end up in a tragedy. Put this guy in the same cell as the Mpls cop. They could share experiences.

    • Suthenboy

      I dont think anyone in that story has an IQ over 75. Morans will be morans.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    Goading?

    That reminds me of a story long ago in the Colorado Springs paper about an Air Force cadet expelled for, among other things, “quibbling”.

    Even now, it elicits a chuckle.

    • Suthenboy

      “Look what you made me do!”

    • Fourscore

      Quibbling was a dischargeable offense at Army OCS in ’66. Removal from the program, same as lying. Never heard of it being used but it did make a candidate mind his spoken manners and tell the truth. Humor was often used to exaggerate a point where it was recognized as not quibbling though.

      • Hyperion

        I don’t even know what quibbling is, but it sounds British. You know, because it sounds all retarded and shit.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Another definition

        to evade the point of an argument by caviling about words

        I’m getting edumacated all up in here today.

      • The Hyperbole

        Quibbling is what old people used to call what we know as “Ackchually”

      • leon

        I’d say that’s accurate, actually.

      • Mojeaux

        Quibbling = “well ACKSHUALLY”

      • Suthenboy

        I dont quibble. I once got fired briefly for my version of quibbling.

        Me – ” I am not doing that. It’s not safe. Someone is going to get hurt and I won’t have any part of it.”

        Management – “You will do it or you will be gone”

        Me – *Puts keys on management’s desk* “Bye”

        Management chased me down in the parking lot and asked me not to go. They offered a compromise.

        Less than a year later a staff member and a client from a sister institution doing exactly what I refused to do were killed.

        Always listen to that little voice in the back of your head.

      • Raven Nation

        My problem is that there is more than one voice in the back of my head and they’re all offering mutually exclusive suggestions.

    • Suthenboy

      heh. The thing is obviously tame. They could have lured it into the car with a carrot.

    • Hyperion

      I have to stop scrolling down in Twatter links. I mean really, ‘As the Pandemic Rages!’. Really? How is this raging going on all around me, for months now, and I don’t even know a single person who knows a single person who is even sick? We’re looking at what, a virus that has a slightly more killing power than the common cold, if you’re 80 plus? While the Spanish Flu had a lethal rate of 12%? And this thing is raging? WTF, people are so fucking stupid now that there’s no hope for humanity. Black Hole Sun, won’t you come?

      • Suthenboy

        It is Fredo. He sets the standard for stupidity and mendacity. If they didnt have a dress code at CNN he would be in baggy shorts that hand below his hips and a t-shirt with a moth eaten collar. It would probably have ‘I’m with stupid’ written on it with an arrow pointing up.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        it’s the narcissistic hubris that gets me. Stupid ain’t a crime, but stupid and couldn’t possibly be wrong about anything is a different story.

      • Nephilium

        I’ve always referred to it as willful ignorance. Everyone is ignorant about quite a few things, but these are the people who not only don’t think they are, they’re sure they know better then everyone. They can often be found “helping” repair people they paid, explaining how they just “cleaned” up some unnecessary system files, and giving terrible pointers to people grilling food.

      • Fourscore

        /slinks away/

      • Nephilium

        I’m sure your pointers are based on your experience and at least reasonable. 🙂

        Most of these people aren’t even twoscore yet.

      • Ted S.

        “As the Pandemic Rages” is a new soap opera, isn’t it?

    • Count Potato

      Is there an animal that doesn’t live in Florida?

      • kbolino

        I’d say the Polar Bear but there’s a probably some in a zoo.

      • Jarflax

        Homo Sapiens?

      • Hyperion

        Penguins.

      • BakedPenguin

        Hey!

    • Gustave Lytton

      Gah. $10M.

    • kbolino

      You’re probably not wrong about them being illegal immigrants, but nowhere does the article actually confirm that. Big mean old Congress just excluded “immigrants” and no explanation is given.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Click through to the Oregon Worker Relief Fund, the private slush fund that the legislature gave my tax dollars to. They make no bones about who they’re supporting.

        On April 23, 2020, the Oregon Legislature allocated $10 million to start the Oregon Worker Relief Fund (OWRF). However, the estimated need in Oregon is over 12 times that amount. It is imperative that state and local governments invest sufficient resources into the Oregon Worker Relief Fund.

        When the Oregon Legislature meets in special session to address the COVID-19 pandemic, a top priority must be to help ensure that workers without legal status and their families are able to make it through this crisis.

        Workers without legal status. Aka illegal aliens. And largely criminals. They are not Oregonians, they are not citizens, and they are not residents of the state. This illegal diversion of taxpayer money should be shut off, and all of the grifters in that scheme should be doing hard time for these crimes. Fuck them all.

      • Gustave Lytton

        As far as I’m concerned, every member of the legislature that voted for this should have their hand cut off for theft.

    • Hyperion

      See, this is what happens when you no longer allow idiots to eat Tide pods. I say we ship those fuckers out for free. Where can I donate to that effort?

    • Hyperion

      “That’s a sex worker?”

      When you graduate high school and not only have you learned nothing useful, but you no longer even know which bathroom you’re supposed to use? Yeah.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      If big tits and the early stages of male pattern baldness are your things she’s a dream girl.

      • mrfamous

        How early?

    • TARDIS

      Well someone has to service the beta cuck males and harpies-in-training.

      • Jarflax

        Service as targets sure. as Johns? Not really.

  20. Not Adahn

    They don’t all fall to hard ball. At least not right away.

    • Suthenboy

      If you are going to carry 9mm get heavy bullets. 147 grain flat nose, hard cast cant be beat.

    • EvilSheldon

      Certainly not if you decorate the neighborhood with half your ammo…

      • Not Adahn

        He scored 16 hits, but none to the A zone.

      • EvilSheldon

        Yeah, true. 16 hits out of 36 rounds fired really ain’t bad by institutional standards. The bad guy didn’t score any.

        But in this case, the bad guy really came out to party. The peripheral hits ain’t gonna cut it against someone who’s hyped up and really wants to put your ass away.

        I think the correct lesson to draw from this incident is not, “I need to carry more ammo.” It’s, “I need to learn to shoot better.”

        I really oughta finish this ‘Five Favorite Pistol Drills’ article…

    • Hyperion

      What people don’t realize, is that these Karens have always been with us.

      I remember when I was a kid going to Elementary school, and back then there were 2 breeds of Karens. 1. The church ladies. 2. School teachers.

      The former were, they had existed since the beginning of time, so no use to talk about that.

      The latter, school teachers, I have to talk about that.

      Back then, all school teachers that would ever exist in your life until you got to high school would have 3 defining characteristics.

      1. Woman.

      2. The Old Maid syndrome. IOW, they would all be women who were in their 30s or later, and had still never been married. and never would.

      3. Hatred of everything male. If you were a guy, you wold be singled out as the fucking devil, just for being a boy.

      Yep, that’s it. Every single Elementary school teacher I have had was a fugly male hating cunte, period.

      So, you see, here you go. The difference today is the internet. You still have the same cuntes, but now they have this huge megaphone called the internet. That and most 20 something males today seem to have testosterone levels less than an 8 year old girl. I bet it was the lunch ladies did that shit. All the kale and rice pudding were loaded up with estrogen. I knew there was a reason I wouldn’t eat that shit besides that it tasted like molded horseshit.

      • Sean

        I’d like to subscribe to your newsletter.

      • Hyperion

        Ya’ll know I’m right. My Newsletter, I think I shall call it ‘The Gospel According to Hyperion of the Latter Day Unwoke’.

      • TARDIS

        Sign me up.

      • TARDIS

        I hope there’s a monthly raffle for a new woodchipper.

      • Hyperion

        You’re too young to understand, Kristen. I’d send you my way back machine, but it’s broken.

      • Suthenboy

        I remember some those but it wasn’t all of the teachers.
        I would tell a “I never thought it would happen to me” story about a lunch lady from HS in her early thirties but this is a family friendly website.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’d like to subscribe to your newsletter.

      • Hyperion

        See, you’re talking HS. That’s when everything changed. For one, there were male teachers, pretty much all of them in Math and Science. And then my first female teacher in HS was hot as hell. Different world. Back then you needed skills to advance, unlike now, the cuntes had none, now you get promoted because of that and fired for having actual real world skills.

    • Fatty Bolger

      She’s a perfect example of one of the reasons the mask thing is so stupid. Let’s say she had COVID. So, she’s breathing the virus right into the mask, and then constantly touching it. Anything she touches is infected. She’s also going to take that same exact mask everywhere she goes, and she’s going to touch it before going into the store, and while she’s there. It’s essentially a virus collection and reapplication device.

      Also, her morbid obesity is roughly 1000X more dangerous to her health than COVID-19.

    • B.P.

      I don’t really like any of these people. I guess the toddler’s alright.

    • EvilSheldon

      I wonder if masks hold in pepper spray?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Maybe he burned him with the sauce, that shit’s like magma.

      • The Hyperbole

        Yup, 650-800 degrees. You get hit in the kisser with that straight out of the oven and it’s going to require medical attention.

    • Hyperion

      Assault Pizza? /house democrats working on bill to ban assault pizza

      • Spudalicious

        Bubbling cheese is one of the “Assault Pizza” criteria.

    • Suthenboy

      “A crook looking for some dough…”

      I dont know if we should give the writer a gold star or a narrowed gaze.

  21. Count Potato

    “Fact:
    Jewish people migrated to “Hollywood,” founded & created it, milked black people for their #culture, & music, and catered to the KKK and racism in America.”

    https://twitter.com/KevinLWalker/status/1283806274988027906

    They need to re-open the libraries.

    • Tres Cool

      “…milked black people…”

      I think thats a genre on pr0nhub

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Somebody needs to let their comrades know that the Jews are the only white people that are off limits, at least for group criticism.

      • Hyperion

        Nope, the left are openly anti-Semitic and Asians are the white people of yellow people.

      • Mad Scientist

        Not just anti-Semitic, the left is openly, avowedly racist.

      • Hyperion

        Well, in the latest exhibit, they seem to be openly trying to destroy the prosperity of the most disadvantaged and lowest earners in society, while promising them impossible shit, like reparations.

        My wife and I talked about this at lunch today and I told her ‘The leaders of the left are pure evil, which is why they seek out the most vulnerable to prey upon, their useful idiots’. It is way past the point that I hate them. Pure evil.

      • Drake

        I thought this was known.

    • TARDIS

      Reopen the libraries, yes. Then demolish public schools.

      • Hyperion

        This is one thing I seem to disagree with a lot of people about. Please, do not reopen public schools, ever. It is the breeding ground and indoctrination center of the left. Without it, their base will be greatly diminished. Nuke that shit from space.

      • Fourscore

        Reopen the schools , not for kids but for teachers and homeless, living together. Would be educational for both groups.

        Rodney, where are you when we need you?

    • Nephilium

      catered to the KKK

      The KKK got along with (((them))) now? Is that why there’s (at least around here) still (((country clubs)))?

  22. KibbledKristen

    I reserved a condo at Copper Mountain for the beginning of Feb. The downside is, it’s only going to happen if the dog is no longer alive. I have util Dec 31 to get a full refund on the deposit. Anyhoo, it’s fucking awesome: https://www.vrbo.com/793286

    • Suthenboy

      You have to kill your dog to go on vacation? Hush girl, the wife might hear you! You are going to give her ideas. My dogs are a millstone around my neck but I dont want them dead.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I put our dog down right before a vacation this February . granted, he was rapidly declining and probably wouldn’t have lasted the month, his quality of life sucked, and he couldn’t have been boarded in his state, but the timing of the decision was mostly due to our planned vacation.

        This is the only place I’ll ever admit the true demise of that dog. Family and friends think that he died in his sleep at a very convenient time. Wife feels much worse about it than I do. An extra couple weeks of sitting in his own urine, unable to work up the energy to stand up and eat his food? I did the right thing.

        /not arguing against what you’re saying Suthen, just telling a related story for therapeutic value

      • KibbledKristen

        It’s just a matter of time for mine. I doubt he’ll be around for another year. But if he’s still around in December and doing OK, I’ll cancel.

    • Sean

      • Suthenboy

        Once per year my wife goes on vacation to the redneck riviera. She spends a week with her friends dipping her toes in the sand and visiting restaurants. (If anyone knows the recipe for these guy’s crab cakes please give it to me) https://www.budandalleys.com
        I stay home and tend the dogs and keep the grass cut.

      • Suthenboy

        That looks pretty good but I need their crab cakes. Wife tried to bribe the waiter for the recipe but he just laughed and wouldn’t give up the goods.
        Dammit.

      • Tres Cool

        Build off that seasoning was my point, and some of the chopped veggies. Thats would I would do.

        *alcohol always makes food taste better
        *YMMV

    • TARDIS

      Nice. Need someone to fetch liquor and other necessities for you? I’m cheap.

    • Tulip

      Sorry Kristen. It’s hard to watch them decline.

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      Kristen,

      There might be closer Glibs but if it comes down to it we will watch your dog for you. We are about 5-6 hours from Copper and you could fly into ABQ.

    • DEG

      Except for the snow, that looks like a really nice place.

      Sorry about your dog.

  23. Fatty Bolger

    Apparently the plan around here is to have the schools open two days a week, and then at home learning the other three days. I guess this is going to trick the virus somehow:

    Monday – No school. Virus shows up, looks around, and goes away because nobody is there.

    Tuesday – Virus stays home, but… PSYCH! The kids are actually there! HA-HA virus, fuck you!

    Wednesday – Virus is at the school ready to go… BUT THEY’RE AT HOME TODAY! FUCK YOU VIRUS, FOOLED YOU AGAIN!

    Thursday – The virus, sensing a pattern, stays home. BUT THE KIDS ARE THERE AGAIN! GOD DAMN STUPID VIRUS! WE GOTCHA! HAHAHAH!

    Friday – Virus, demoralized but hopeful, shows up at school for one lost shot at the kids. But they’re home playing video games, because nothing is due until Monday, so why not.

    • Hyperion

      “I guess this is going to trick the virus somehow:”

      There are may ways to trick the virus into leaving you alone, such as, always vote democrat, always take a knee when someone calls you racist for no reason, riot and loot everything you can, don’t forget to order your own pallet of bricks to help destroy shop owners and therefore the economy. Be woke and win!

      • Suthenboy

        So we should shoot anyone that doesnt have the commie cooties?

      • Sean

        It’s a bold plan.

      • Fourscore

        Cops carry guns for a reason. Never bring a baseball bat to a gun fight.

    • Ozymandias

      This is awesome. Thank you for that.

  24. Mojeaux

    Sharing some noir because I like it and I think you will too.

    • Suthenboy

      And this…regarding best 9mm bullets

      94% lead, 5% tin, 1% antimony

      https://www.midwayusa.com/product/1010245557

      Seven grains of Accurate #7 will push that out at a bit over 1000fps and it will cookie-cut through anything.

      Or you could get a .45

  25. hayeksplosives

    I’m afraid it’s curtains for Trump. People will be voting in a vague sense for “how it was before” by which they really mean before 2020 but their simple minds will map that to “the Democrat savior.” Worked for FDR in the depression.

    Unfortunately, it won’t be the Libertarian moment. We are likely stuck with Dems throughout government, appointing activist judges and creating new agencies all over the place.

    This is going to be painful.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      Magnificent!

      They should’ve cast Josh Brolin as Rachel Maddow though.

    • UnCivilServant

      I’m not seeing a threat to my food supply.

      • Sean

        Nope

      • Suthenboy

        When I posted the links above I was looking at you. If you arent casting and reloading you should start. Spending money on anything else is a waste.

      • Sean

        I’ve been collecting my brass for years. I’ll have plenty to work with when I decide I have the time and energy to start. I hadn’t given much thought on casting.

      • Not Adahn

        The math works out to having to reload something like 50k 9mm to break even on the initial outlay.

        I’m not that much of a shooter. Yet.

      • Not Adahn

        100 rounds/day only requires a year and a half.

      • UnCivilServant

        100 rd/minute takes a lot less time.

      • Jarflax

        If you are casting invest in ventilation equipment. I have a friend who ended up spending a nasty few month undergoing chelation because he used to cast bullets in his basement without a vent hood.

      • EvilSheldon

        There are fringe benefits. I haven’t really sweated an ammo shortage in years, not since I set up my Mark 7 and started buying components in bulk. Despite going through around 20k rounds of handgun ammo a year on average.

      • Fourscore

        There is a lot of therapy involved in reloading, especially if you have a quiet place with all your tools available. While I don’t cast I occasionally load cast bullets. Turning out an evening’s worth of reloading into 40 identical rounds with your exact chamber size is a great feeling.

        With rifle I usually weigh every charge. When I get a .1 of a grain accuracy I weigh about every 5th round. With pistol when I get where I want to be I crank ’em out without much checking.

        If you can get a buddy to go shares you can reduce the cost of equipment plus enjoy some occasional company. Even as the sunk costs seem high you still have the equipment and could always sell it for something. You may find you have more friends too.

        “Hey, Bob, if I bring over the brass and stuff, could you make an extra 20-30 rounds of .270. I’d be happy to pay for the primers and stuff.”

    • Gustave Lytton

      Y’all need your sarcometers sent in for calibration.

      • UnCivilServant

        They don’t make the parts I need to fix mine.

  26. DEG

    Utah meeting on masks cancelled

    A public meeting in Utah about a mask policy for schoolchildren was abruptly adjourned when people without masks packed the room.

    “This is the exact opposite of what we need to be doing,” Utah County Commissioner Tanner Ainge said from the dais of the meeting room in Provo, drawing boos from the audience. “We’re supposed to be physically distancing, wearing masks.”

    Speaking over loud objections from the audience, Ainge continued, “This gathering violates current health recommendations.”

    His motion to adjourn was then approved on a 2-to-1 vote, with a commissioner who had organized the meeting dissenting.

    • UnCivilServant

      So they didn’t get the hint that the consitutants were saying “piss off with your mandates”?

      • hayeksplosives

        They weren’t doing what they’re “supposed to.” The use of that phrase triggers me.

        “Supposed to.” That is Karen talk.

      • UnCivilServant

        Do you think they’ll actually vote Ainge out next time he’s up for reelection?

  27. Not Adahn

    So is the mouse supposed to eat the flowers or what?

    • Tulip

      Rape them maybe