The Hat and The Hair: Episode 161

by | Jul 15, 2020 | Hat and Hair | 261 comments

 

“Why?” the hair wailed, heartbroken, “Why do they have to pick on me? I’ve tried to be the best Presidential hair I can possibly be!”

“Whatever,” the hat said, waving his bill dismissively. “The press and the TDStards have shit on me from day one. You get used to it.”

“I’ve always been popular,” the USA hat said smugly.

“Go wipe Jeff Sessions’ asshole!” MAGA hat snapped.

“Shut up! Just you shut up!” USA hat yelled. “My grandpappy is a statue and a bunch of idiots done tore him down!”

“Good!” MAGA hat yelled. “I hope he didn’t even crush a Marxist shitbird on the way down.”

“How can you say that?” USA hat hollered. “That was mah heritage!”

“It was a pigeon shit collector!” MAGA hat shot back.

“What can we do about ME?” the hair asked. “Can we focus on me for just a little while? Look at this atrocity!”

“Maybe we could do one on Biden’s creepy damn teeth,” MAGA hat offered.


We Interrupt This Week’s Hat And Hair To Bring You This Special Episode Of:

Geriatric ICU


The intern hovered near her hospital room all night, sneaking glances at the object of his desire his entire shift. She looked so small, so delicate swaddled in layers of sheets and blankets, just her soft skull and wispy hair barely denting the pillow.

He made excuses to go into her room, to be near her, to inhale her exotic perfume of germicidal ointment and catheter lubricant. He ran his hands over her body on any pretense, trying not to look around to show guilt, using his iPad to hide his erection as he rushed to a supply closet to beat off into a wheeled mop bucket.

Late, late in the night, he watched as the night nurse at the station slowly dropped off into sleep from the cocktail of sedatives he had fed into the coffee carafe. He snapped his fingers by her ears and cleared his throat loudly. Nothing. He walked to her hospital room on silent cat feet, excitement raising his erection.

“Ruth,” he whispered, leaning over her. “Ruthie, wake up.”

He pulled the tube of lipstick from his lab coat and coated her lips gently. Her eyes opened, unfocused, wandering the room and then hardening into a determined look. She poked her gray tongue through her painted lips and licked them slowly.

“Fuck me,” her eyes demanded. “Fuck me, young buck.” She let out a sigh of cancer cells, dog-sweet, to fill the room.

Under and under the layers of bedding his hand sought, ever questing for her wilted flower. He traced the catheter line to the center of her desire, the tube hot and heavy in his hand. Finally, the deep sweetness. She was as hairless as a naked mole-rat and twice as warm, the gnawed leather of her labia as dry as he had always dreamed.

“Ruthie,” he gushed. Her eyes were hard and bright and they glared at him fiercely, demanding that he continue. He slid one finger into her dusty cove and then another. He used his thumb to push aside her catheter and rub the crooked gristle of her clitoris, the hood flaking away. With his free hand, he struggled to free his penis from his pants, painfully erect and throbbing to his racing heartbeat.

“Do it,” her eyes urged, “Do it,” her mouth grimaced.

He took up her catheter and gave it three sharp tugs. Her back arched in ecstasy.

“What is happening in here?” a stern voice said suddenly, as he ejaculated on the nurse call button.

“Sir, I, uh, I,” he stammered, whipping his hand from underneath the covers and trying to cram his still hard erection back in his pants.

“Ah, man, she got another one, didn’t she?” this resident advisor said, chuckling.

“I wasn’t doing anything, sir, I wasn’t, uh, I mean,” the intern said as his leaking penis darken the front of his chinos.

“It’s OK, kid,” the advisor said. “Happens to the best of us.”

“She, uh, the judge, I mean, wanted me to,” the intern continued. He imagined mobs chasing him in the streets. He imagined the shame of his parents, his fiancee.

“There is no judge, kid, look,” He pointed to the bed. The intern saw there was no patient under the mess he had made of the bedsheets.

“But, she was just there,” the intern said, “So womanly, so real.”

“No, she wasn’t,” the advisor said. “She’s been dead for over a year.”

“A year? What? I don’t understand.”

“You just fingerbanged a ghost, son,” the advisor said not unkindly. “Go get yourself cleaned up.”


We Now Return To The Hat and The Hair, Episode 161, Already In Progress


The USA hat guffawed and guffawed. “You city boys. Everybody knows that a raccoon’s got a bone in his pecker!”

THE END

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

261 Comments

  1. Fourscore

    Damn. So close to lunch. I’m gonna have to wait another hour, just to let breakfast settle again. Perfect, SF, you’ve out did even yourself. Thanks for nothing

    • Sean

      I am eating lunch. I noped out part way through.

  2. juris imprudent

    Where have you gone Bro-damagio, our nation turns it’s lonely eyes to you.

  3. DEG

    The intern hovered near her hospital room all night, sneaking glances at the object of his desire his entire shift. She looked so small, so delicate swaddled in layers of sheets and blankets, just her soft skull and wispy hair barely denting the pillow.

    I see where this going….

    • DEG

      “You just fingerbanged a ghost, son,” the advisor said not unkindly. “Go get yourself cleaned up.”

      Not quite what I expected.

      Bravo!

      • Don Escaped both Landslides

        You just fingerbanged a ghost, son

        We’ve all been there ?

      • Bobarian LMD

        Most of us manage to block out the memories.

      • DEG

        I remember this story making the rounds last year. Close enough?

  4. The Late P Brooks

    You ain’t right, Son.

  5. Rebel Scum

    Ew.

    • Fourscore

      After the first paragraph we both could have quit but still, the magnetic magic of SF, even as we knew where it would end up. And it did.

  6. Count Potato

    SugarFree is JT LeRoy?

  7. Not Adahn

    I don’t think that I’ve every really taken psychedelics. Then I read something and I think, “how do I know that? Maybe I’ve taken lots of drugs and they’re just making me think I haven’t.”

  8. Count Potato

    Huh, there are raccoon baculum swizzle sticks. Because who wouldn’t that that in their drink?

    • Not Adahn

      When I worked the renfairs, there was a guy who would wear a raccoon baculum on a chain. He’d tell people it was a whistle. When they asked how it worked, he’d offer to let them try. Only after they’d put it in their mouths would he tell them it was a “‘coon peckerbone.”

      • Nephilium

        It’s not quite up to the level of the Sourtoe Cocktail, but that’s up there.

  9. egould310

    Yowza! I don’t usually have a chance to read these when they post. This is some lurid stuff. Really debauched.

    Funny, too. Thanks SF for keeping it weird.

    I suppose I should try to do some work now. After I finish this coffee.

  10. Swiss Servator

    GAH!!!!

    *pounds on cell walls*

  11. Spudalicious

    I think I’m damaged.

    • Mad Scientist

      So, nothing’s changed?

    • Mojeaux

      Consider the source.

      • blighted_non_millenial

        I dunno. I expect better from the Smithsonian, but I haven’t been to one of their museums in a long time.

      • Mojeaux

        “National Museum of African-American History & Culture”

        Their worldview is baked in.

      • blighted_non_millenial

        True as far as that goes, but I’d expect a Smithsonian museum to actually focus on some History and Culture that didn’t boil down to whitey bad.

      • kbolino

        Not necessarily. It’s not surprising but it doesn’t have to be that way.

      • Drake

        I used to watch the “Arial America” show on the Smithsonian Channel. I love the scenery, but every fucking episode includes a historical episode of some bad white people being mean to some flavor of people of color.

      • Ted S.

        Not “Verdana America” or “Comic Sans America”? :-p

      • Agent Cooper

        Was hoping for Run DMC, but was not disappointed.

      • Agent Cooper

        Dang – It’s Like That, not It’s Like This. My bad.

    • invisible finger

      I insist on the term Caucasian-American

      • Sean

        Get a look at the caucacity of this guy.

      • Rebel Scum

        I insist on the term ‘American’.

      • Hyperion

        I insist on another ‘race’ checkbox. It’ll be like this:

        Caucasion/White

        Hipanic/Latino

        African American

        Native American

        Pacific Islander

        Other/Mixed race

        Fuck Off

        *checks last box*

    • The Other Kevin

      Reading the comments on the last thread, there is now something I can’t unsee. There is no longer any discussion (if there ever was). These are people convinced their point of view is unassailable and they are just lecturing the rest of us.

      • Idle Hands

        Well in fairness there never was.

    • egould310

      I don’t even know who perpetuates this shit. It has no impact in the real world. In the course of business today (when I finish this coffee), I’ll have dealings with a Native American at a fabrication shop, and an Asian American at a Crane rental company. I’ll also report to a Asian/Latino guy, a black lady, and countless Jews. None of us will mention race. But why would we? We’re trying to do business deals.

      My advice to whoever put that website together; get over your fears. Get out of your head and go do something productive. You’ll be surprised that the productive class really doesn’t give a shit about your race/identity/lifestyle. You may find it liberating. And lucrative, too.

      • Don Escaped both Landslides

        the productive class really doesn’t give a shit about your race/identity/lifestyle

        can’t be said enough

      • R C Dean

        For the most part. Some “lifestyles” I do care about. When they interfere with doing your job, or result in you violating people’s rights.

        I mean, I care about the permanent welfare dependent/gaming the system to maximize parasitic returns lifestyle.

      • Not Adahn

        Next week, we are having an outside “diversity” group (these guys https://inclusiondesign.com/who-we-are/) come by.

        Just to quote from thier web page:

        …is a diversity, equity & inclusion consultant, and executive coach whose work fuses management science, organizational theory, and grassroots praxis to find hidden solutions to systemic issues and empower anyone to become an effective, tactical changemaker

        We are encouraged to submit questions. I am far too clever to fall into that trap, but I was tempted to submit:

        “how are you planning on imposing/overlaying/evaluating an idiosyncratically American formulation and concept of “race” on a global workforce that includes over fifty different nationalities on this campus alone? And will the expectations you lay out today also be the same at our campuses in the Phillipines and the U.A.E.?”

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I like your style.

      • Not Adahn

        The only “grassroots praxis” I’m interested in involves a girl wearing Daisy Dukes and gingham.

      • UnCivilServant

        Submit it under someone else’s name

      • Not Adahn

        I have far too much confidence in our IT guys to track me down.

      • UnCivilServant

        Use someone else’s desk (not the name you put it in with).

        Do I have to think of everything.

      • Not Adahn

        Unfortunately, of the coworkers I wouldn’t mind getting sacked I don’t know their credentials. And alas, I am no 1337 h4Xx0rZ.

      • EvilSheldon

        Ask them to define ‘praxis’ without using Google or a dictionary.

      • Not Adahn

        I would like to take some of these arguments https://www.glibertarians.com/2018/01/reality-based-community/

        and say “We make actual things that need to actually work. We know they work because of empirical testing. On what epistemological basis should we not laugh you out the door? “

      • Suthenboy

        Until I read EvilSheldon’s comment I was going to suggest a simple “Fuck off”.

        The poisonous shitheads get paid for that? What a con.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Divisivity and exclusion consultants.

      • Not Adahn

        She served as the Associate Dean and Director of the Diversity and First-Generation Office at Stanford University where she introduced groundbreaking work on authentic engagement, intergroup dialogue, and unconscious bias to over 10,000 students, staff, faculty and alumni.

        Proudly pushing pseudoscience. SMDH.

    • Rebel Scum

      In this country, American means white. Everybody else has to hyphenate.

      Identity politiking morons hyphenate. Everyone else is just American, regardless of melanin content.

      • R C Dean

        “Has to” hyphenate? Says who?

      • Ownbestenemy

        It is the only way their world view works in their heads.

      • Mojeaux

        Everybody else has to hyphenate.

        No. No, you don’t. POC and white liberals thunk that up.

      • juris imprudent

        Listen if WHITE LIBERALS say you have to hyphenate, then you get your ass with the plantationprogram.

      • Bobarian LMD

        It is spelled ‘pogrom’.

      • Nephilium

        No. You don’t have to hyphenate.

        Back in 2001 in October, the Dropkick Murphys did the American Pride tour. At the events, they called out during the show, “How many of you are Irish-Americans?” As the crowd cheered back, they replied, “Fuck you! You’re all fucking Americans today.”

      • kbolino

        The only people I ever knew who thought that way are now dead of old age.

        But hey, why not wage a proxy war between the young, woke, and ignorant and the now-deceased generations of the past?

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Et tu, Smithsonian? Can’t you just stick to dusting Fonzie’s jacket?

    • Hyperion

      Yeah, I know, I can get a job just because of my skin color or wokeness level and don’t have to work and they can’t fire me. Yippee!

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      Related. Apparently melanin is a strategic reasource. As with most of these sort of articles the author fails to demonstrate how this is a problem and what negative outcomes will arise as a result. Nor do they identify what mechanisms, if any, are preventing cadets of a given ethnic heritage from branching combat arms.

      • leon

        The hard truth is that combat arms demographics are little more than a talking point that is brought up every few years, typically by black stakeholders. The National Defense Authorization Acts of 2013 and 2020 prescribed task forces, commissions, and strategic plans. Yet, the lack of appropriate funds directed toward implementing a program aimed at change and of any fundamental policy changes makes these efforts appear to be for naught.

        The lack of diversity among combat arms officers is a strategic problem, however, because under the current Army construct, only combat arms officers become senior strategic leaders—senior, three- and four-star generals that serve as the chief of staff of the Army, corps commanders, or component combatant commanders.

        I don’t follow the argument here. Its not that African Americans are barred from entering the combat arms. Army Officer Accessions is a huge process, but a huge part is that 1) Top Cadets get to go to where they want, and 2) the Army tries to fit everyone else in according to the preferences they put down. Every cadet gets to put down their choices, and then the army places them where they are needed, and based off their performance. What i’m getting at is that maybe a reason why this is the case is because a lot don’t want to be there. And the last thing a soldier needs is an officer in the Combat Arms who doesn’t want to be there.

        If you look at the demographics of the army, you can see that African Americans are overrepresented in the officers of the “Force Sustainment” branches. These branches typically are the ones that also have the best “Outside the army” jobs, that are easier to transfer to when an officer separates. Cadets will generally fall into two groups. The ones who are thinking about a career, and those who are looking for spending some time in managment positions and then getting out when their commitment is up and doing their own thing. The Careerist will gun for the Combat Arms Jobs, and the Professional Managers will typically be thinking about the other branches.

      • Bobarian LMD

        There is some history here. When the Army was still segregated (~1950) blacks were made to serve as logistics (porters, stevedores) and a significant number of people join the Army with the intent of doing what Dad/Grandpa did. It ain’t racism, but it does create a generational issue.

        The Army bends over backwards to put people in the jobs they want; which makes sense, because you’re more likely to serve longer and perform better if you have more job satisfaction.

        Incidentally, I got my Master’s Degree with one of the authors, and he is one of the sharpest guys I have worked with.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Can’t wait to hear the outrage when branch selection of choice is turned down because the quotas are full and they have to go into one of the combat arms. Bet it will be evil whitey trying to put the people of color on the front lines and most dangerous positions.

      • Bobarian LMD

        That has been happening for years, but very rarely (at WP, anyway, does someone complain). The rules are pretty clear, if you’re the top guy in the class, you get first choice.

        Although they’re meddling in that now.

  12. The Other Kevin

    Our collective enjoyment of H&H reminds me of that Dieter character on Saturday Night Live. He was fascinated with disturbing things. We are all Dieter.

    “That story pulls down my pants and taunts me.”

      • Bobarian LMD

        Now ist ze time on Shprockets when we flee and hide in terror!

    • Don Escaped both Landslides

      I forced my bot to read that and it laughed uncontrollably until I had to reboot it

    • R C Dean

      Genuine LOLs on that one.

    • Ownbestenemy

      How does one “force” a bot? Are they fully self-aware now? It would fit with the theme of 2020.

      • Hyperion

        Queues up army of bot lawyers waiting in line.

      • mrfamous

        Murray Rothbot screams that this “force” is a gross violation of the NAP

  13. R C Dean

    her exotic perfume of germicidal ointment and catheter lubricant

    Wonderful.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    *pounds on cell walls*

    Padded cell?

    • Swiss Servator

      YOU NO READ AFTERNOON LINKS?

  15. The Late P Brooks

    My advice to whoever put that website together; get over your fears. Get out of your head and go do something productive. You’ll be surprised that the productive class really doesn’t give a shit about your race/identity/lifestyle. You may find it liberating. And lucrative, too.

    Not liberating, horrifying.

  16. Idle Hands

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-8510263/Sports-Illustrated-Swimsuit-features-transgender-model-Valentina-Sampaio.html

    OT but Better here than the links-

    Brazilian model Valentina Sampaio has made history by becoming the first transgender woman to grace the pages of the iconic Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue.

    The 23-year-old trailblazer, who has also posed for Victoria’s Secret, will appear in the publication’s 2020 issue after being photographed by Josie Clough on Scrub Island in the British Virgin Islands.

    Valentina appeared on Good Morning America on Friday to announce the news while sharing how much the opportunity means to her and the LGBTQ+ community as a whole.

    Not going to lie pretty sure I’d be fooled with this one. SI has really covered the spectrum first they featured sweaty men in form fitting unis, than women in bikini’s, than fat women in bikini’s and now pretty boys in bikini’s. What’s next? Really need a hat and the hair level foresight.

    • Ted S.

      Valentina appeared on Good Morning America on Friday to announce the news while sharing how much the opportunity means to her and the LGBTQ+ community as a whole.

      Why would it mean anything to gay men?

  17. Rebel Scum

    Fuck off, Tom.

    “As somebody who’s gone through this and knows firsthand this is not a hoax, how do you feel when you see people not wearing masks out there?” Colbert asked Hanks, who is currently promoting his latest film Greyhound.

    “Are they Americans?” Hanks responded. “You know, I don’t get it “It’s literally the least you can do… a mask and wash your hands, and try to stay 6 feet away from a person. Is this impossible now?”

    Earlier this month, Hanks said “Shame on you,” to those opposed to wearing masks, according to a report by People. “If you can’t wear a mask and wash your hands and social-distance, I’ve got no respect for you.”

    • Viking1865

      ““Are they Americans?”

      I don’t think there is a more American attitude than “Fuck you I won’t do what you tell me.”

      • creech

        That’s why true Americans drive 150mph on the Interstates and ignore traffic signals “because no one is telling me what to do.”

      • kbolino

        There’s a lot of Interstates where 150mph in the right cars is perfectly doable. There’s also a lot where it’s not. Something about one size fitting all but none well.

      • Not Adahn

        You’ll need ZR rated tires though.

      • kbolino

        True, 150 is pushing the limits of even high-end cars’ equipment unless they’re being used on the track often. My statement above would probably be more reasonable at 120 than 150.

      • kinnath

        kinnath’s tires on the Z

        Rated for 186.

      • kinnath

        Although, I believe the throttle is electronically limited a few mph above 150.

      • kinnath

        The tires I bought the last two times have been retired from the market. The Apex is the closest thing. It is new enough, there are very few reviews. So we will have to wait and see how they perform.

      • kbolino

        Hmm, yeah I might’ve been more right the first time. My car also has Y rated tires, though the car itself can’t go above about 155 (and that was when it was new, it’s 6 years old now).

      • grrizzly

        I’m not interested in validating obsessions of people suffering from a mass psychosis. That’s why I don’t wear a mask.

      • DEG

        #metoo

        Though, I will bend a bit for places under the government’s thumb like a few businesses in Nashua that I want to see survive this mess. Even then, my compliance is malicious (bandana never covers my nose, and sometimes not even my mouth).

      • DEG

        Malicious towards the mask ordinance which requires your face covering cover your nose and mouth… not malicious towards the businesses I want to see survive.

      • grrizzly

        Yesterday I had a haircut in Cambridge without a mask. The barber didn’t care at all. We shook hands when he introduced himself.

      • DEG

        Excellent.

        One of the folks suing the Clown Prince cut my hair about two weeks ago. She’s running her salon as she sees fit, ignoring the Clown Prince’s rules. She does accommodate customers that want to wear masks and those that want the staff to wear masks, but otherwise, no masks, no restrictions on services.

        She did a good job. I didn’t wear a mask. She didn’t wear a mask. We had a good chat. I left a big tip for her.

        I have a lead on a barber closer to my house that is also ignoring the Clown Prince’s rules. I’ll head over there for my next haircut.

      • Ted S.

        I left the mask below my mouth in the grocery store today, and surprisingly, nobody said anything.

        They were also low on bread again. 🙁

      • banginglc1

        I’ll fight the good fight in my personal life. My employer is making me wear one. And Frankly, I can’t afford to quit right now.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Well in that case, since papa Tom has wagged his finger so sternly at me, I will wear my mask.

      • Suthenboy

        I had to cave this morning. Grocery store requires a mask….ok…private property, they make the rules. I hated it but I did what they asked.
        BTW, wearing a mask on my private property is forbidden.

      • DEG

        Wal-Mart will require masks starting July 20th. I intend to never darken their door again.

        That leaves only one grocery store close to me that hasn’t gone full Lil Rona insanity. The staff wear masks, and in theory they limit the number of shoppers in the store but I have never seen anyone keeping count. Last time I was in it, I was one of maybe two or three people not wearing a mask. I’d say maybe 25 shoppers total as it was a quiet day in the middle of the day.

  18. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Oh sweet merciful Jesus…

    • Ownbestenemy

      I do not think you will find Jesus here at this hour. Or maybe you will, but only the White Jesus.

      • commodious spittoon

        He’s busy guiding Trump’s pen as he signs new EOs.

  19. leon

    I’m confused. The story was about the hat, then i blacked out for a second, and then they are talking about a raccoons pecker.

  20. Fred, Your new Cylon Buddy

    Finally! I join the ranks of the Working Man again, My Census job begins on the 31st, with Training in Flagstaff, then off I go to Enumerate!

    • Fourscore

      And just in time, Yusef, EOM payday! For the win!

      • Fred, Your new Cylon Buddy

        no kidding, the timing is just right, I’ll have some reserves set aside, and maybe still get my Down payment together, Digging it,,

    • Not Adahn

      Since you’re working for the government now, don’t forget to wear a polyester shirt with a clip-on tie.

  21. Ed Wuncler

    “You just fingerbanged a ghost, son.”

    Never thought I would ever see those word in print. Magnificent job SF.

    • Swiss Servator

      “Never thought I would ever see those word in print.”

      THAT SAID ABOUT SF MANY TIMES!!!

  22. creech

    HIllary can’t shut up about losing in 2016 due to an alleged crooked election. Now she’s convinced Trump, when he loses in November, will refuse to vacate the White House in January, using “vote fraud” as his justification. You know, Hillary, if you think you got jobbed in 2016, why didn’t you seek the Dem nomination for 2020? You would have trounced Joe. In fact, if you threw your hat in the ring now – “he’s senile for Christsake” – you’d probably be given the nomination. Put up or shuffle off the stage, you mendacious cunte.

    • Rebel Scum

      Loading…

    • Viking1865

      The whole “voter fraud” thing is especially annoying because the Democrats alleged widespread voter fraud in FL in 2000, and in Ohio in 2004.

      The 2000 FL was especially fine chutzpah because every time they did a recount Broward County kept finding more Gore ballots, then they stopped the recounts and the Democrats had the audacity to cry voter supression.

      The definition of a fair election is the left winning. It’s true both at home and abroad.

  23. Hyperion

    Considering the brief glimpse of Portland, Seattle, and Minnesoda under complete far left radical democrat rule for the past couple years, can any one even fathom what it will look like if democrats get braindead Biden elected and take both houses of Congress? Effectively, the far left radicals would then be in complete control of the country and their every crazy leftist scenario would be visited upon upon all of us.

    Seattle /the city is on fire, Summer of Love!

    Minnesoda /the city is on fire, let 400 lb nekked Xes run wild through the parks!

    Fuck, I won’t even bother with Portlandia.

    SF cannot even write anything that terrifying and insane. Giant Meteor 2024!

  24. The Late P Brooks

    I look great in this crown. I just hope the ermine robe doesn’t make my ass look too fat.

    Michigan Gov. Gretchen Whitmer extended the declaration of emergency through the middle of next month, as the state experiences a surge in positive cases of the novel coronavirus.

    Whitmer on Tuesday signed an executive order extending her earlier emergency and disaster declaration until August 11 in response to every region in the state seeing an uptick in new COVID-19 cases over the past three weeks.

    “COVID-19 has now killed more than 6,000 people in Michigan. That’s more than 6,000 of our parents, grandparents, friends and neighbors. And the rising numbers we’ve seen over the past few weeks prove that this virus is still a very real threat in our state,” Whitmer, a Democrat, said in a statement.

    Whitmer urged Michiganders in the state to “remain vigilant and continue to do everything we can to protect our loved ones.”

    “That means wearing a mask over your mouth and nose and practicing safe physical distancing when going out in public. If we all do our part now, there is a greater chance that schools can resume in-person learning in the fall,” Whitmer said. “Be smart, be safe, and mask up.”

    Last week, Whitmer extended an executive order requiring face coverings while indoors.

    “From the beginning of this health crisis, Governor Whitmer has taken every step to protect the health and safety of Michiganders, including requiring the use of a face covering or mask since May,” a spokesperson for the governor told Fox News last week. “The new executive order requires individuals to wear a mask at all times in indoor public spaces, when they are unable to maintain a 6-foot distance in outdoor public spaces, and requires businesses to follow a ‘no shirt, no shoes, no mask – no service’ policy for patrons who enter their establishment.”

    “I can’t let go of the reins, now. I have important work to do.”

    • leon

      What is her approval rating?

      • Grosspatzer

        20%, same as downtown.

    • Fourscore

      That’s a white woman. Lady needs a whole bunch of Vitamin D. Someone tell her about the benefits of the great outdoors, listen to the Yoopers.

    • Ed Wuncler

      When I was Northern Michigan with the exception of Traverse City and Charlevoix, most of the businesses in the small towns basically had signs on their doors saying, “We respect your freedom and your right to wear a mask or not.”

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      “I just hope the ermine robe doesn’t make my ass look too fat.”

      Don’t worry, this dress already does that. She steal that from her daughter’s closet?

      • Bobarian LMD

        It ain’t the dress.

  25. Nephilium

    Joy. Big ‘ole conference call for a Virtual Lunch at work. Now I get to listen to everyone talk about how the masks will protect us, schools need to stay closed, and how irresponsible travel is in these trying times.

    /video is off

  26. leon

    So here’s my Tinfoil hat theory about why the dems keep talking about “Trump won’t accept the results of the election”. Dems are prepping the public for them to argue that (if biden wins) Trump needs to be removed from office early.

    • Ed Wuncler

      With their attempted soft coup with regards to Russian Involvement, I wouldn’t put it past the opposition to pull that shit.

    • Rebel Scum

      Or they are planning a massive fraudulent vote campaign.

      • Sean

        The fraud is going to be off the charts and right in front of our faces.

      • R C Dean

        Yup. This is battlespace prep for massive fraud through mail-in ballotting. That’s why they are desperately flogging the ‘Vid as a never ending crisis, IMO.

        November is going to be a shitshow.

        The bad news? I’m pretty sure ammo shortages and high prices will be here straight through November, and maybe for some time after. If Joe wins, for the indefinite future.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I may just bite the bullet and buy some ammo. I don’t like paying so much, but I don’t want to be left high and dry if Supreme leader Biden decides to take some of the gun control laws national.

      • kinnath

        I picked up another thousand rounds of 556 Nato for a mere $450 yesterday.

        SGAMMO had 10 boxes (500 rounds) of Federal Lake City last night. All gone today.

      • Sean

        *deep breath*

        Chants “I will not panic buy.” Repeatedly.

        I know I have enough for now.

      • kinnath

        I know I have enough for now.

        No.

        You don’t.

      • Sean

        I swear at my last residence I was responsible for a work comp claim for the poor UPS guy.

      • DEG

        I don’t have enough ammunition.

        I don’t have enough guns either.

        I don’t shoot enough.

      • R C Dean

        Don’t think of it as panic buying.

        Think of it as investing in future TEOTWAWKI trade goods.

        *heads off to BulkAmmo.com*

      • Sean

        TEOTWAWKI

        Bring bacon & bourbon.

        #GLIBARMY

      • leon

        TEOTWAWKI

        Really getting hit hard on the side effect of glibs.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I’m stuck in the less than pleasant position of being very low on 556 (<100 rounds), low on 40 (~150 rounds), basically out of 9 (<20 rounds) and low on 308 (~150 rounds).

        I had stopped buying in February because I knew we were going to be moving and I didnt want to have to lug a ton of ammo around. I mostly exhausted my supplies at the range before we moved, and I'm balking at the prices now.

      • R C Dean

        Ouch.

        I’m probably around 1500 rounds each of 9mm and .45, 100 rounds of .300 Win Mag, 250 rounds of .308 (includes some trash Eastern European crap I may never shoot), 100 rounds of 00 12 gauge and another 150ish rounds of misc. 12 gauge, with a handful of 12 gauge slugs.

        I’m OK, but I’m not done buying ammo. Need to finish getting the weapons tuned up and kitted out first, though. The effing accessory market is backordered all to hell, too. Seriously, Mag-Pul, you’re running out of slings?

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I just bought enough to ride out the immediate term from bulkammo. now I can be a little choosy about what I’ll pay going forward.

      • kinnath

        I have more than R C Dean, and I am still buying.

      • R C Dean

        Honestly, I just got 1,000 rounds each of the 9mm and ,45, and all 100 rounds of the 00. I was shamefully undersupplied.

        This is pretty much my par level for ammo. I think I’m going to need another safe or some kind of locking container for it, though. It won’t fit in the current one.

        I don’t even own a .223 firearm, and if I see a deal on it, I may just buy it. Trade goods, and/or I may acquire an AR one day (not planning to now, but you never know).

      • Sean

        My* lowest stocked caliber is 10mm and that’s because I just bought it this year. (Thanks Trumpbucks!) I think I have ~1,600 rounds.

        *Does not include my GF’s special calibers.

        “I will not panic buy.”

        I hope I can keep my resolve.

      • DEG

        Lowest stocked caliber? Three way tie: .45 ACP, .303 British loaded for a Lee-Metford, and 7.5mm Swiss loaded to duplicate GP90. About 100 rounds of each.

        Most stocked caliber? modern 7.5mm Swiss. Probably about 3,000 rounds of surplus GP11, plus 600 or so rounds of commercial manufacture.

      • kinnath

        I need to order an optic for my new M1A. The scope mount from Springfield should be coming in the next few weeks or so.

        Currently comparing the Leupold FX-3 6x42mm (fixed) with the Leupold VX-3i 3.5-10x40mm (variable). Both are listed at $520 MSRP.

        Any suggestions?

      • R C Dean

        Honestly, I’d probably go fixed on the Leupold. 6x is a good all-purpose magnification, but 4x might be even more all-purpose. Honestly, I think most people buy more magnification than they need. I know I have.

        I’m a Trijicon fanboi, and they make some ACOGs that I think are the bee’s knees. Even have some 3.5 x 35 with specific .308 bullet drop reticles. I have a self-illuminated ACOG on mine – I believe its the 2 x 20; its been awhile, and I thought it was 3X but I don’t see my reticle on the 3x. They are spendy, though. Optics Planet usually has some decent discounts, though.

      • Not Adahn

        before the shutdown, I had about 2700 rounds of 9mm on hand. Now that the club is open again, ESPECIALLY now that there are shoots again that’s not going to be nearly enough.

        Currently the cheapest available ammo at targetsportsusa is Speer Lawman, if you can believe that. At $0.36/round. Which means a Kayaderosserras match will run me $50 in ammo costs. Ain’t that a kick in the nads.

    • Not Adahn

      Of course. It wouldn’t be fair to let him nominate RBG’s replacement.

    • kbolino

      They won’t remove him, but they might go into overdrive keeping him from doing anything.

    • juris imprudent

      So it’s going to be absolutely hysterical when Trump wins and all the Dems refuse to accept the results of the election, amirite?

      • kbolino

        Democracy is how we get desired outcomes. Undesired outcomes are not real democracy.

  27. The Late P Brooks

    “Are they Americans?”

    Are you now, or have you ever been, a member of the Trumpublican Party?

    • leon

      The Republican party needs to be abolished. What i think is crazy is that both sides think that by winning the election, they will be able to establish total dominance and control 60 million people voted on both sides. They don’t just dissapear when you win. This is part of the reason why there was a backlash against Obama and Trump got elected. Democrats and the media lapping dolts really believe that everyone was hunky dory under Obama, and we were all united. That bastard loved to crush his opposition and didn’t give a shit about them, but the people in the bubble seem to think everyone loved him.

      • kbolino

        Unity is not two people of disparate opinions getting along, it’s one of the being forced to adopt the correct viewpoint of the other.

      • Rebel Scum

        +1 “scandal-free” administration.

  28. The Late P Brooks

    Love it or leave it

    Portland, Ore., Mayor Ted Wheeler lashed out at the Department of Homeland Security on Twitter Tuesday, urging federal agents to “stay inside” or “leave” as the city faces its sixth straight week of protests and unrest.

    “I told the Acting Secretary that my biggest immediate concern is the violence federal officers brought to our streets in recent days, and the life-threatening tactics his agents use,” Wheeler wrote Tuesday evening. “We do not need or want their help.”

    DHS deployed officers from multiple federal law enforcement agencies this month to protect government installations, including a courthouse.

    Demonstrations have taken place around the country after the May 25 death of George Floyd in Minneapolis police custody. Four officers were fired and charged, including Derek Chauvin, who appeared in a video holding his knee on Floyd’s neck for nearly nine minutes.

    Meanwhile, city businesses have reported $23 million in losses due to looters and rioters — amid a coronavirus pandemic that is already causing massive economic damage.

    Chaos has broken out in the city’s streets, frequently aimed at federal property as activists and some local leaders have objected to the presence of federal officers.

    Over the weekend, a 23-year-old demonstrator allegedly struck a federal officer in the head with a hammer outside a courthouse. The demonstrator is accused of beating a hole into the building’s door with the hammer before officers came outside. Then he struck the officer in the head and shoulder with the hammer before being taken into custody, according to the Portland Police Bureau.

    “The best thing they can do is stay inside their building,” Wheeler wrote Tuesday. “Or leave Portland altogether.”

    He also criticized DHS for not cleaning graffiti off its buildings.

    And just look how they dress. They are just begging for it.

    I foresee bad things.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      That city is fucked.

      The money will leave and it will descend into Detroit status.

    • Drake

      Another house in the neighborhood sold inside a month. This Fall we’ll be getting reading to put ours on the market. Keep chasing people out of the cities.

      • UnCivilServant

        I thought you lived in New Jersey. Shouldn’t people be fleeing the state outright?

      • Drake

        That’s the cycle of life here. New Yorkers flee to NJ, people in NJ cities flee to the out burbs, us in the outer burbs leave the state (while making sure we avoid the exit tax).

      • UnCivilServant

        When I flee New York, it will not be to New Jersey. I’ll skip a few steps.

      • Drake

        You’re smarter than the average bear. A mile from my house is a bus service to midtown NY. Some people still need that.

    • Grosspatzer

      “I told the Acting Secretary that my biggest immediate concern is the violence federal officers brought to our streets in recent days, and the life-threatening tactics his agents use,” Wheeler wrote Tuesday evening. “We do not need or want their help.”

      Your residents have bigger concerns. And since you won’t help, they just might need and want help from elsewhere.

    • R C Dean

      The best thing they can do is stay inside their building,” Wheeler wrote Tuesday. “Or leave Portland altogether.”

      He also criticized DHS for not cleaning graffiti off its buildings.

      How are they going to clean graffiti off their buildings is they are locked inside, or gone altogether?

  29. commodious spittoon

    Is the intern that soyboy who admitted he couldn’t keep up with Ginsburg’s workout GAINNNNNNNZ?

  30. The Late P Brooks

    What i think is crazy is that both sides think that by winning the election, they will be able to establish total dominance and control 60 million people voted on both sides.

    Don’t forget there are that many who hold the system in such disdain they don’t even bother to show up on election day. The best way to “represent” this constituency is to stop trying to “help” them and fuck off.

  31. Suthenboy

    Re: Voting

    Either Trump or Biden (barring a Hillary entrance) will be president. There isn’t going to be some third party upset. Trump or Biden, that’s it.
    Biden will be the biggest disaster in American history. The D platform consists entirely of a commie wish-list, a list of all of the things they want to take away from you. Your money, your property, your inheritance, your rights. High crime, poverty, a boot stamping on a human face. Enough morons are going to vote for that to make a D win a dangerous possibility.

    Vote Trump. No one cares about protest votes.

    • Not Adahn

      I will make a prediction that Biden’s name will be on the ballot in November, but that he will have already and publicly abdicated in favor of his VP.

      • Suthenboy

        That is true now, isn’t it? To me it looks like the official party plan…use Joe’s name to get the office and have the radical leftists pull the strings.
        Joe’s wife seems to be genuinely concerned for his welfare so why is she letting this charade go on? If he wins he wont live for a month.

      • R C Dean

        Joe’s wife seems to be genuinely concerned for his welfare

        I’ve seen no evidence of that.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Same here, I think she is already measuring the curtains and planning her vacations.

      • R C Dean

        I’m getting a little nervous about my prediction that Biden wouldn’t be the nominee.

        I’m thinking your scenario is getting more plausible.

    • leon

      I’ll vote for whomever i want, thank you very much.

    • kbolino

      No one cares about protest votes.

      Who cares about votes period? They only care about winning. Until that mentality is broken, it doesn’t matter who you vote for.

    • mrfamous

      I don’t see how anything good can come from me going to the polls. And if I do “mail-in,” my one vote probably becomes more like 0.7 votes.

      Trust me, once they demanded the Gov shut down my gym, the Dems made an enemy of me. But the Gov was a GOPer and capitulated because “bad press.” There’s virtually zero chance my vote will matter, and a really small chance that a non-dem win will prevent them from cramming shit down my throat despite the loss. They are the masters of the “squeaky wheel.”

      Keep my head down, my mouth shut, look out for myself and die some day. That’s about all that’s left. Stoicism from someone who’d much prefer to be Epicurean, but isn’t allowed to.

      • Suthenboy

        Same here. I would rather be left alone but ….politics cares about me.

        I am lucky to have, for the most part, decent reps but our commie governor just yesterday issued a mask ‘mandate’ and said straight out “You can like it or not like it but you are going to do it.”
        I have half a mind to drive down to Baton Rouge and kick his ass.

        Thinking about the spineless R’s….I can feel the top of my head getting hot.

    • Trigger Hippie

      Sorry my friend but, no. The EC votes in my state are already accounted for regardless of my vote and I feel no need to social signal against the greater of two evils. If anything, I’m social signaling that I disapprove of the lot. My vote changes nothing no matter what so why not vote my conscience?

    • robc

      Protest? I vote for who I want to win.

      The fact that my candidate tends to finish 3rd, 4th , or 5th is beside the point.

    • Ted S.

      No one cares about protest votes.

      TEAM BLUE is carrying NY by 20 points regardless. I can vote my conscience without costing either “major” party candidate.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    So it’s going to be absolutely hysterical when Trump wins and all the Dems refuse to accept the results of the election, amirite?

    “Hysteria” is one word for it.

    And- if I were working for Team Trump, I’d be running 15 second ads of blocked intersections and toppling statues and screaming fat pink-haired trannies.

    • kinnath

      Already seeing those in Iowa.

    • The Other Kevin

      “Defund the police” signs and chants juxtaposed with rioting, looting, and murder stats from big cities. The commercials write themselves.

      • R C Dean

        He’s already running that ad.

    • Drake

      Some aftermath videos of Minneapolis too.

    • commodious spittoon

      We’ve got ads with a 911 call going to an automated recording due to police cutbacks (“Response time is currently five days”), played over scenes of rioters tearing up streets.

      • Sean

        Got those around these parts too.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Ditto, even in CA; must have aired on basic cable.

  33. bacon-magic

    *incoherent muttering with muffled sobs

  34. The Late P Brooks

    Keep my head down, my mouth shut, look out for myself and die some day. That’s about all that’s left. Stoicism from someone who’d much prefer to be Epicurean, but isn’t allowed to.

    Me too. And it’s getting harder to do that, as time passes.

  35. The Late P Brooks

    Superstitious pigeons cunts

    The National Retail Federation (NRF) is encouraging all retailers to adopt a nationwide policy that requires customers to wear face coverings.

    In a statement on Wednesday, the group applauded companies that have already mandated a nationwide mask policy, including Walmart, Starbucks, Best Buy, BJ’s Wholesale Club, Apple, Qurate Retail Group and Costco.

    “Shopping in a store is a privilege, not a right. If a customer refuses to adhere to store policies, they are putting employees and other customers at undue risk,” NRF said in a statement.

    And the list of things to order from Amazon gets longer.

    • Suthenboy

      I looked at half of a dozen studies on the efficacy of masks….indeterminate at best.
      Mask wearing is theater. It is about frightened people desperately pretending they can control something they cant control and you must play along.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I Will Not Comply,
        I just tell them about my COPD, they shut up,

      • Rebel Scum

        and you must play along.

        I refuse. People have to start engaging in mass non-compliance.

      • juris imprudent

        mass non-compliance

        But, but, then you are letting the virus have control!!!!!

    • Ownbestenemy

      Public accommodation argument went right out the window I see. Im glad it did even if only a brief respite.

      • Ownbestenemy

        If I were the Denver “bake the cake” guy I would immediately point to this.

        ““Shopping in a store is a privilege, not a right.”

      • kbolino

        I’m not. Public accommodation is not gone, it’s just been put on a scope-limited bureaucratic hiatus.

      • Ownbestenemy

        I said briefly; I know its only on brief hiatus for the sake of the narrative..

        From the looks of it, they will repackage the mask issue into public accommodation laws.

      • kbolino

        Yes, no doubt. If you don’t wear a mask, you are infringing others’ right to be accommodated or somesuch thing.

    • Ownbestenemy

      What is life without risk? Tune into America, 2021! to find out.

      I think if they could they would make being in public without valid reason a crime, which they are pretty darn close to doing.

    • commodious spittoon

      Shopping in a store Customer patroange is a privilege, not a right.

  36. The Late P Brooks

    Being able to operate a business and earn a living is a privilege, not a right. I hope the Biden administration loads you down with red tape and pointless micromanaging regulations, you fucks.

  37. Rebel Scum

    Sleepy Joe

    “Arizona is very much in play in 2020, so we appreciate you taking some time and talk to the people of our state,” anchor Mark Curtis said.

    “Oh, you’re an important city. You guys are going through hell right now, are ya?” Biden responded.

  38. Yusef drives a Kia

    I may live in a slice of Hell Arizona, but we have no graffiti, no protests, the cops are cool people, they interact with us Plebes with respect. Everyone is nice, mostly, and we just go about our business, glad I escaped when I did, no matter the sad outcome, it was for the best,

    • leon

      Yeah, but like, people are sick and its the dumb rethuglicans fault.

    • R C Dean

      Glad to hear you’re doing well, Yusef.

  39. Akira

    OT: Is it just me, or does “trust the science/experts” actually translate to “outsource 100% of your thinking to politicians and corporate media outlets”?

    It seems like the people crowing the loudest about their devotion to facts, truth, reality, science, etc. are appallingly deficient in critical thinking. What they actually mean when they say those buzzwords is “I saw a headline in the New York Times that said that some scientists determined X”; they certainly don’t mean “I saw an article about a scientific study, so I followed the link to the study itself and began reading. I evaluated the methodology and sample of the study and made sure that the conclusions were not overreaching.”

    It’s almost like the white label concept for opinions. They don’t come up with opinions on their own. They get a generic kit of opinions delivered daily, and they repeat them as if they came up with them on their own.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      OK, take off the Tin foil hat………
      /sarc

    • leon

      It’s almost like the white label concept for opinions. They don’t come up with opinions on their own. They get a generic kit of opinions delivered daily, and they repeat them as if they came up with them on their own.

      That is a great way of explaining it.

    • EvilSheldon

      Pretty much this.

    • DEG

      And if you don’t that, you are a science denier.

    • Suthenboy

      They have a predetermined, preferred conclusion and gobble up any pretzel logic that leads to that conclusion.
      I have a lefty acquaintance that loves to put her opinion out there and then cut you off with “I dont want to talk about it anymore.”

      They love science.

      • Rebel Scum

        “I dont want to talk about it anymore.”

        I’ve gotten this. I have also gotten “you sound stupid” after thoroughly upending a leftists position. Another one that took me off balance for a second was when a leftist acquaintance said “You’re just trying to win the conversation.” when I pointed out a logical fallacy. I said, “No, I’m trying to win the argument, moron. Logical fallacies are not arguments, ipso facto you have no argument. Good day.” He doesn’t speak to me anymore.

      • R C Dean

        He doesn’t speak to me anymore.

        Mission accomplished.

      • Ed Wuncler

        I’ve noticed an uptick of liberals who outright refuse to debate their stances and will tell you that X is not up for debate because X is the right thing to do. When you don’t allow people to debate and not only that but also shut down any sort of discussion, it typically leads to violence. Not to sound all dramatic, but I wouldn’t be shocked if we see some major political upheaval that involved violence in my lifetime.

      • R C Dean

        Ed, I wouldn’t be surprised if we see some major political upheaval that involved violence in Fourscore’s lifetime.

      • Fourscore

        Count me in!

      • R C Dean

        You sure you want to stick around for it?

      • Not Adahn

        1. He’s got actual combat experience.
        2. BEEES!!!!

      • Mad Scientist

        “I dont want to talk about it anymore.”

        So they don’t want to have a conversation about this important issue?

    • kbolino

      A politician is elected by the people to represent them, not to tell them what they’re supposed to believe. Everything a politician does is political, that’s their entire job description. There are limits to political power because it is not the solution to every problem, nor even to most problems. Tolerating dissent is the entire purpose of liberal democracy.

      All of these self-evident truths have been discarded, not because they are no longer true, but because it is useful to deny them. The goal is civil warfare, using the government as a cudgel with which to beat people you don’t like, sometimes literally.

  40. The Late P Brooks

    OT: Is it just me, or does “trust the science/experts” actually translate to “outsource 100% of your thinking to politicians and corporate media outlets”?

    Nope. “Expert-ism” is an excuse to surrender responsibility and surrender yourself the guidance of a higher power.

    “What would Foochy do?”

    • Ownbestenemy

      I think the Dunning-Kruger effect captures this and they utilize it to push their bullshit.

    • Akira

      Nope. “Expert-ism” is an excuse to surrender responsibility and surrender yourself the guidance of a higher power.

      It’s eerily reminiscent of that huckster government scientist in Atlas Shrugged who said that ordinary people shouldn’t think; they should leave thinking to the experts.

      Lefties hate that book so much, but they’re working hard on fulfilling its prophecies every day.

  41. Sean

    She seems nice.

    And probably unemployed very soon.

    • Ownbestenemy

      How do you come about so much hate…

    • R C Dean

      Well, yeah. She’s not wearing her mask right.

      • Fourscore

        Oh?

  42. Ownbestenemy

    Nevada, where “we believe” becomes Science!
    https://news3lv.com/news/local/nevada-official-traces-new-high-in-covid-19-cases-to-july-4

    The basis of their tracing it to Independence Day? This quote “We believe that many of the new cases in this recent surge are coming from the Fourth of July weekend,”

    I am sure there is data behind it, but the reporter who wrote it didn’t bother looking beyond what was told. I guess this should go under the thread above.

    • R C Dean

      According to DIVOC, they starting seeing a sharp increase in cases 20 days ago, in late June. Since there’s a lag between exposure and positive tests of around 7 days, just to pick a number in the range, this would mean whatever is responsible for their increase in cases happened in mid-June or so.

      Of interest, their new cases basically topped out on, wait for it, July 2 and has been pretty much plateaued since then, with an uptick beginning all of 2 days ago.

      Its possible that the current 2 day uptick could be traced to the July 4 weekend (although its not a great fit with the 5 – 14 day window from exposure to positive test, its in the window), but it is negligible compared to what happened beginning two weeks before July 4.

      • commodious spittoon

        How many states have topped out on ventilators and beds? How many patients have been triaged out of care?

      • R C Dean

        To the best of my knowledge, none, none, and zero.

      • commodious spittoon

        I mean I realize the point is to avoid ever getting to that dire predicament, but nobody reporting on it seems interested in whether we’re even trending that way.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Lets see June…mid June..what possible crept up mid June and was swept under the rug by not only the media but even by medical professionals as not ever going to contribute to the spread…I wonder.

      • R C Dean

        In Nevada?

      • Ownbestenemy

        We had our share of protesting downtown and on the Strip during that time-frame. But I was told that they were safe and it was the bars and taverns that are the problem.

      • Ownbestenemy

        And thank you RC for enacting my labor.

    • Nephilium

      So, there was a big issue about pictures of people at Put-In-Bay in a pool, not social distancing or wearing masks. Over the past weekend, they tested 1,000 residents there. The infection rate? Nearly identical to the positive test rates throughout the rest of the state (over 6%).

      Note what’s missing in the article is both mentions of people dying or being admitted to the hospital.

      • R C Dean

        Mortality rate: Way down from the peak, on a modest upslope now.
        New deaths: Pretty sharp increase recently. Not a pretty picture.

        The hospitalization graph seems busted at the moment.

      • R C Dean

        Sorry, that was for Nevada. Enact your own labor for Ohio.

      • robc

        Ohio has been down in deaths for last 2 days (7 day average) after a small increase the previous 10 days that looks mostly like noise.

      • robc

        Deaths have moderately increased starting 8 days ago, and ticked down yesterday (looking at 7 day average).

        Arizona, on the other hand, looks like they ought to be peaking on their first wave sometime soon.

      • robc

        First sentence was for the US.

      • R C Dean

        My read of our data is that it looks like we peaked new infections and test positivity rate last week. Deaths, mortality rate, and hospitalizations are trailing indicators, and its too early to say when they will peak, but they are starting to show a possible plateau.

      • commodious spittoon

        How reliable are death stats when the feds have explicitly tied aid to Covid treatment?

      • R C Dean

        To show a trend, I think the death data is OK – the inflation is built in, so change is still change.

        To show total deaths, the death data is crap.

  43. Fourscore

    When winter comes in about 3 months do I wear my mask over/under my face covering? If I put my ear flappers down I don’t have ears anymore so my mask either goes under the cap or the big band ones that have the horizontal bands over the cap. I’ll need an extra 10 minutes to get ready to get my firewood in. Life keeps getting more and more complicated. Deer hunting may be out the window on the backside of the house this year.

    Its so laughable, this game of pretend. In my wildest dreams I would never have believed we’d fall into the nonsense. I feel like a 5 year old getting ready for kindergarten.

    • The Other Kevin

      In my wildest dreams I would never have believed that a major political party in the USA that supported rioting, looting, and getting rid of the police would be ahead in the polls.

      • kinnath

        The polls are shit. They were shit in 2016. They are worse now.

        The first question is how many people are lying to the pollsters because it is not safe to show support to certain candidates.

        The second question is how many pollsters are lying to drive the election to a certain outcome.

        The third question is how deep election fraud will run this election.

        If you know the answer to these three questions, bet heavily on the election results.

      • leon

        4 Years ago the UK voted for brexit and everyone was shocked. Then Trump won and everyone was even more shocked. I’m not a pollster, but if i haven’t done anything in the last 4 years to be more accurate, i think i’d be worried. Nobody wants someone who is going to be wrong in their predictions.

  44. Tres Cool

    Im late to the game, but….

    “… to inhale her exotic perfume of germicidal ointment and catheter lubricant.”

    Its details like that…..

  45. slumbrew

    I know people joke about vomiting to SF stories, but I did in fact get slightly queasy during this one.

    Bravo?