Black Dorm Renovation Finished in One Day

by | Aug 27, 2020 | Satire | 352 comments

Marysville, VA – After six months of planning and debate, the renovation of Caldwell University’s new Black dorm was completed in three hours. The newly renamed Color Residence Hall is likely the first residence hall in the country to split students by skin color, but nobody was willing to read any of those awful, racist historical documents from earlier than 2019 to confirm.

With a $6.4M budget and a planned construction phase of 3 years, this quick renovation was quite a surprise.

“I was ready to work in a construction zone for the next few years,” residence dean Sean Lafferty said, “I fully expected that even 3 years would be a miracle, but 3 hours? Somebody above must’ve realized that there is a lot of value in a labor of love.” Lafferty tapped his Marx shirt with his palm while grinning.

The project, already having spent $4M of its $6.4M grant on architectural designs, structural review, ecological review, aesthetic review, inclusion and diversity review, social justice review, ethical experimentation review, certificate of need review, carcinogen review, educational impact review, disparate impact review, total impact review, financial justification, and the inaugural poetry slam, had to be substantially reduced to meet budget. The resulting plan allowed a scant $2.4M to repaint the dorm’s signage.

“It was a street fight to get the name right for our Black Dorm project,” said residence hall student liaison Justitia Wills, “We had so many klansmen and white supremacists trying to tell us to name it after racist whites like Frederick Douglass and Thomas Sowell. We couldn’t even earn a moment’s peace from them when deciding what description to use for the people and kin who will reside here. They tried to convince us to use exclusive terms like ‘POC’ and ‘Black’. In the end, we won. We settled on a simple name that respects all oppressed people and otherkin. ‘Color Residence Hall’.”

Color Residence Hall is the culmination of an ongoing initiative at Caldwell to counteract oppression by providing the best opportunities to Black and Brown students before whites can be their rapacious selves. Color was planned to be the premier student housing on campus, with a lazy river, an IBLAX theater playing Black produced movies 24/7, and an inclusive food court staffed only by whites so that they can feel what it’s like to be servile.

However, with the budget overruns, it is unclear whether the full glory of Color will ever be achieved. At least for now, a glimmer of paint shines like a beacon toward the inclusive future.

The hero of our story, painter Jorge Ramirez of Ramirez Paint and Restoration, is a surprisingly small and quiet man. For a miracle worker, he was very personable.

Ramirez described his feat to us in technical terms, hiding his brilliance behind painting jargon.

“I was just, uh, hired to strip the signs, prime them, and repaint them with the new name,” he said, “the building was built 70 years ago in the 1950’s, yes? There were many layers of paint, and it took a couple hours to get through the top layers without destroying the wood. When I got to the bottom layer, I saw that it says ‘Colored Residence Hall’. I, uh, by accident, strip the E-D off, and the loud girl who hire me walked by and say that it was finished. I did the same to the other signs and then I was done.”

Ramirez, who earned a $15M early completion bonus by finishing nearly 3 years early, has been adopted as the patron saint of the residence hall. Plans have begun to erect a statue of Ramirez where students recently pulled down a statue of Ernest Caldwell, the school’s founder, because he was white and old and probably owned slaves or tweeted something racist.

UPDATE: Just hours after the first meeting to plan the construction of the Ramirez statue, it has been announced that the project will be canceled after it was found that Ramirez had posted an anti-LGBT picture on Facebook in 2013. The picture, ostensibly of his nephew’s baptism, included a piece of hate literature known to bigots as ‘The Holy Bible’. Ramirez Painting and Restoration is now under a national boycott.

About The Author

trshmnstr

trshmnstr

I stink, therefore I am.

352 Comments

  1. Brochettaward

    I was called out twice today by lesser Firsters. People who just don’t measure up. Well, I am here to say that I hope they left enough room for my First, because I’m going to ram it into their stomach!

    • UnCivilServant

      You go do that.

      Just do it out of earshot, and not in line of sight.

    • JMBOO

      And break their Goddamn spines!!!!

      • pan fried wylie

        And then He’ll be back in the choppah.

    • juris imprudent

      I love the smell of butthurt in the evening.

    • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

      People who just don’t measure up

      Ah, the ol’ “dick’s too short” syndrome–otherwise known as Deep Dish Pussy.

      Don’t worry–I would presume you’ll be able to find a dildo or two to tide you over.

  2. commodious spittoon

    I think we’re past boycotts. He’ll be lucky if he’s not around when his shop and work van are torched.

    • Chafed

      3 months ago I would have said that’s ridiculous. Today….

  3. Count Potato

    That’s just racist against Dominicans.

  4. Yusef drives a Kia

    Cynical Trashy, and I totally agree, Bravo!
    a true 1st…

  5. UnCivilServant

    I thought this wasn’t a news site.

    • pan fried wylie

      I’m giving it 48hours till I decide if it’s satire or not.

  6. Lachowsky

    2020.

    The year of the return of the segregationists

    • Sean

      https://www.wsws.org/en/articles/2020/08/24/nyur-a24.html

      “Since late June, the Office of Residential Life and Housing Services at New York University (NYU) has been working closely with a small, student-led task force to make racially segregated housing a reality in undergraduate student dorms.”

      • mikey

        They need a snappy motto.
        Maybe “Seperate but Equal.”

      • Gustave Lytton

        Maybe at the dedication, they could get a Democrat governor to proclaim “segregation now, segregation forever!” on the schoolhouse steps.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        They don’t want equal.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Not to worry, it won’t be either. Just like it wasn’t in reality the first time around.

      • Lachowsky

        Segregation today. Segregation today….

        You get it.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Racism cannot be countered with racialism. They are two sides of the same coin. The fundamental division in capitalist society is class, not race. An individual’s relationship to the means of production ultimately determines his or her position in society.

        Wah wah. The poor commies are getting sidelined by the racists.

      • Hyperion

        Are they going to ban interracial couples as well? It’s starting to look like they’re scared of all this racial mixing. They could lose their most valued possession, the race card?

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Well, if whites are “less than”, what does it say about POCs who share their bed with those subhumans?

      • slumbrew

        https://tbdailynews.com/blm-boston-leader-congresswoman-ayanna-pressley-campaign-organizer-monica-cannon-grant-posts-sexually-charged-racist-tirade-against-pressleys-republican-challenger/

        “This heffer running against Ayanna Pressley. This one here with the white husband. At some point we gonna have to have a conversation with black folks who get in a conversation with white folks and then forget that they black.”

        “If white vagina and white penises jeopardize your melanin then we need you to sit in the back of the classroom and this ain’t your part of the show and you don’t get to talk right now.”

        “Regardless of how many white penises you ride, and I ain’t mad at you sis because if you riding that mother f***er for a credit score get you that house boo. Get you that 40 acres and a mule. Just don’t forget you a n***er.”

        Our compassionate betters.

      • EvilSheldon

        Yup, this is someone who should hold public office. Great drunken Enkidu…

      • Hyperion

        Wait, where have I seen something like this… Oh yeah, South Africa, the ‘colors’.

        And wait… We have to have a pure master race. Where have a head that before? Oh yes, the Nazis.

      • R C Dean

        *checks zero on .300*

        Kidding!

      • Chafed

        CWAA.

    • mikey

      Pepperidge Farms remembers.
      “Two, four, six eight, We don’t want to integrate!”

    • Hyperion

      We’re going backwards with everything. Race relations turned back 70 years or worse, talks of segregation. Science relegating back to political ideology.

      The enlightenment is over, look forward to the new dark ages and then extinction. We’re doomed.

  7. westernsloper

    *snort

    Nice work Trashy. A little close to reality though.

    • Sean

      It’s spooning reality. Hard.

      • commodious spittoon

        Bad touch, bad touch!

  8. Gustave Lytton

    Baby in the oven- pregnancy or Swiftian satire?

    Good work trshy, although I fear you’ll be eclipse by tomorrow’s events sooner than later.

  9. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Was this supposed to be satire?

    • Hyperion

      It’s a prophecy. But it’s really hard times for us prophets. We can’t make our prognostications fast enough. By the time it’s written down, it’s yesterday’s news! Derp is starting to exceed the speed of light, it defines psychical law.

  10. Fourscore

    I love it when a plan comes together. I can see a problem though, no environmental studies or water quality impact statements. I think we’re going to have to put the building in quarantine until this is resolved.

  11. Pine_Tree

    Good job trashy. Maybe the Bee will do a version as fanfic.

    • Brochettaward

      Of the things she’s most proud of: Pushing the president to lead NATO in 1999 on a bombing campaign to halt ethnic cleansing in Kosovo.

      Yea…yay…

      • Lachowsky

        ONE OF THE TOP 100 WOMEN OF THE CENTURY.

        progressives cheer-

        WE NEED MORE WOMEN IN MASS MURDER POSITIONS. CLAP CLAP CLAP.

        WE NEED MORE MINORITY JAILERS. CLAP CLAP CLAP.

        WE NEED MORE COLORED DICTATORS. CLAP CLAP CLAP.

        etc. etc.

      • Gustave Lytton

        +1 Samanth Power and Susan Rice

      • Lachowsky

        Exactly. The modern left loves them a genocide, as long as they is input from a person in the protected class.

  12. JMBOO

    Excellent article. Just curious about two things, how many cases of COVID were reported during the construction, and will there be seperate facilities and enterances for allies?

  13. The Late P Brooks

    Did Ramirez get to keep the bonus?

      • UnCivilServant

        A lawsuit for breach of contract is next.

      • Hyperion

        I bet it was also discovered that he’d one of the bad white Hispanics.

    • UnCivilServant

      Leave Facebook. It’ll do you good.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Congratulations?

    • Gustave Lytton

      Christ, these people are retards. Blanket and ever increasing speech bans are going to stop anyone.

      I remember when the solution for speech you disagreed with was more speech.

    • mikey

      C’mon man! You didn’t Follow the Science.

    • Brochettaward

      You have some real pussies on your Facebook.

    • mrfamous

      How the hell is that objectionable in any way? Because you called Americans “dumb?” Or is it the implication that used t-shirts don’t protect much against the virus?

      • Lachowsky

        Fuck if I know. 2+2=5.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m afraid that’s incorrect. 2+2=3.

      • Fourscore

        Sometimes you get lucky, Lach, in the game of life. Better than winning the lottery and having to split with 5 other winners. You should be proud. If I banned my wife every time she said something like that she’d never have anything to say, and that’s just talking to me.

      • Lachowsky

        Fourscore, I wish you happiness and health.

        I’m sorry that your waning years are the years of absolute idiocity.

        I’m happy that you have a place that insulates you from it.

        I fear that I’m raising my young ones into a world of idiocity.

        I hope I can keep them from buying into it.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      wow, they’re banning people for that now? I’m so glad to be off of there… what a shit hole.

    • Rhywun

      That’s the hate speech at the bottom?! Wow.

      • commodious spittoon

        You can call Americans evil, bigoted, gay-bashing, trans-dragging white supremacists, but don’t you dare question our wisdom in mindlessly following the edicts of politicians on matters of public health.

    • leon

      That was pretty hateful to the ruling class

      • Lachowsky

        Bingo

      • creech

        Something is going on. My township had 50 cases and 4 deaths at one point. Latest score is 113 cases and still 4 deaths. Virus no longer killing the locals? Only young folks getting it? Who is John Galt?

      • mrfamous

        Truly shocking. I thought for certain that after 5 months of circulating within the population, you could still easily contain a virus with stuff like this.

    • Hyperion

      Woohoo! Great job! Now GTFO of there!

    • grrizzly

      I was suspended for a month on Flyertalk for arguing against mandatory face mask requirements on the planes. In May. In late June Flyertalk announced that anyone disagreeing with the mask fetish would be banned forever. This is the society we live in.

      • mrfamous

        The “anti-mask” people have been equated with the “anti-vaxxer” people and summarily dismissed. For science.

      • Tejicano

        We should start calling it “psy-ence” since it has more to do with what’s going on in their heads than in reality,

      • Gustave Lytton

        Or calling it a muzzle. Don’t called it the Wuhan Virus, either! Yet the commie apologists can run wild fellating China, Vietnam, or other authoritarians while shitting all over individual freedom or insulting whomever they wish. And the mods (or rather, certain of the mods) let that shit fester.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I applaud the ones who have the stomach to keep pushing back against the authoritarian smug assholes.

      • grrizzly

        I’m so glad that here we might disagree on this and that point and still politely discuss issues with each other.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Like I said elsewhere, the traditional response to disagreements, including absolutely repellant speech, has been more speech. Now, it’s shut down the other person and do victory dances.

        It’s absolutely counterproductive and does nothing to actual end an argument. All it does is drive it underground and build up resentment, anger, and revenge. It’s laziness to think that there’s a quick solution like banning. Similarity, the maskistas think they can “win” by issuing edicts. Maybe in the short term. But by building opposition and grudging compliance with the bare minimum. It’s just downright stupid. They’re shooting themselves in the foot, even if it doesn’t look like it right now.

      • Brochettaward

        I don’t think most of the maskers really believe the mask is effective. It’s just a symbol that they are on the right side of the issue. Convincing other people of their effectiveness and thus bringing about enthusiastic consent/compliance isn’t really significant to them.

      • Gustave Lytton

        It’s probably a mix of both, just like everything else of covid. True believers and opportunists.

        Not unique to covid, either.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        that they are on the right side of the issue

        Right side of “history”. I loathe that phrase, and the people who wiled it as if it adds any validity to their argument. Where is a 17 year old with AR15 when you need him….?

      • mrfamous

        Maybe, but I do know a huge chunk of the public at large have fully bought into it. That bothers me. These aren’t bad people, and they’re just trying to do what’s right. Very few people want to be responsible for someone else’s ill health.

        But I can’t help but be very afraid of the consequences of all of this. Whether they work or not, or are necessary or not (I’ve already said my peace on those two), what is undeniable is that they _are_ dehumanizing to at least a small extent.

        An older woman in a motorized scooter at the grocery store mistook me for her nephew today because of the mask. We are not nearly learned enough in the ways of psychology to know just what the long term consequences of this sort of thing are.

      • Hyperion

        “Don’t called it the Wuhan Virus, either!”

        I actually said that last week to a guy who’s Chinese. Only I said Wuhan flu. After I wondered if it offended him, but he didn’t say anything or seem offended.

      • Brochettaward

        It’s the European virus!/

  14. Drake

    Too harsh? I vote no.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Bon Jovi sucks!!!

      • R C Dean

        + 1 failed governor

  15. Gadfly

    Nicely done.

    Although it does remind me that satire is getting more difficult, as none of those reactions seemed unbelievable. Soon the satirist are going to have to go full Swiftian Modest Proposal all the time just to stand out from reality.

    • Urthona

      I’m sorry but there was mistake in that article. The correct term is ‘mostly peaceful protest kitchen’.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      A black schoolbus with out of state plates. I thought these people were well versed in being inconspicuous.

      • Urthona

        did you though? I think they’re not particularly well versed in anything.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Yeah, maybe that wasn’t the right word choice.

      • Drake

        Just very used to cops and politicans who look the other way.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yep. Not just looking the other way, either.

      • R C Dean

        They’re lazy, coming from Portland/Seattle.

        But they’re learning. Never doubt it.

    • Hyperion

      “We are currently trying to find our friends who were just there to feed people.”

      What were they going to feed you, fireworks or gasoline? Both?

    • Deplorableme

      The 9 individuals were arrested for disorderly conduct and are pending charging decisions by the Kenosha County District Attorney Who decided they were just peaceful protesters and apologized for any inconvenience that the Kenosha Police Dept might have caused them/

      • Plinker762

        Gee, why are the heroes of the Marxists always such pieces of shit?

    • Urthona

      I’m amazed these states where everyone already died are still shut down. so. fucking. pointless.

    • Raven Nation

      “ the town has gotten numerous complaints about indoor dining at the restaurant”

      And there you have the problem.

      “We have met the enemy and they is us.”

      • Urthona

        Here’s the thing that’s most amazing.

        I’m in a second wave state that’s allowed in-restaurant dining for many months. There are many similar states with even more lax policies.

        They’ve all been declining steadily for at least 6 weeks now.

        anyone who can read a graph can see that the restriction on dining obviously does nothing. it is completely obvious.

      • Rhywun

        “The lockdowns are working. Therefore we must lockdown harder.”

        /Andrew Cuomo and friends

      • R C Dean

        Confirmation bias FTW!

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        ^So much what RN says. If this is a fact (about all these complaints), that, alone is reason to nuke the state from orbit.

    • Drake

      Was talking to the owner of the local gym tonight. He has no intention of following any of the senseless rules Murphy made for reopening.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Surprised they didn’t turn Murphy mid-meal.

      • pan fried wylie

        “turn Murphy”? So, like John Hurt in Alien, yes?

  16. DEG

    Nice!

    When I got to the bottom layer, I saw that it says ‘Colored Residence Hall’. I, uh, by accident, strip the E-D off, and the loud girl who hire me walked by and say that it was finished.

    My favorite part.

  17. Ownbestenemy

    Getting ready for a couple days in the Lake Mead “backcountry” along the Colorado River. Wanted to get away from the heat bit time constraints will put us by the water instead of going up to Utah.

    Either way, gets us out of town.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      down 10 degrees by Sunday, Enjoy!

    • Tejicano

      Sounds glorious. I wish I had that option.

      Drink a cold one for us.

  18. Yusef drives a Kia

    I am so socially awkward, I made at least 2 faux pas today, and I wish I could fix them,
    I’m a dunce

    • slumbrew

      Dude… you’re on a _libertarian_ site.

      One of us! One of us! One of us! One of us!

      • DEG

        Yes

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        But they were Women, with Boobies!

      • DEG

        So…

        ONE OF US! ONE OF US!!

        I make those mistakes all the time.

    • mrfamous

      Yusef, just because dogs do that as a greeting, doesn’t mean you get to as well.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        You mean Women don’t like when you sniff their, ohhhhh…

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        Only if you are rich and famous.

      • Plinker762

        I hear you can grab them in the pussy if you are rich and famous.

    • Fourscore

      I read that as False Passes and thought, “Ol’ Yusef’s back in the game” I knew he could do it.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        more like stupid missed opportunities………
        in the game, 4×20

      • Tejicano

        The story of my single life.

        It’s embarrassing how old I was when I finally realized what “You wanna party?” meant. And how many times I’d heard that before.

    • Hyperion

      That just means you need more practice. I’m not a socialite and for some reason, people think I’m mean before they talk to me, but I started having good luck with women after being single for the first time in years, in my early 30s. At first I was just socially awkward as hell. Practice, lots of practice and patience. For me, that walk up to the first woman you never even met before and say witty and charming things, like in the movies, must make them think you’re a jerk, so I quit doing it and started being very casual and subtle, almost aloof. Worked for me, patience, but it’s great fun and when you get that first little smile from them, you know that smile, you’re in baby!

      • pan fried wylie

        *Hyperion gives advice that doesn’t work behind masks*

  19. kinnath

    And Slate dives right in.


    On Tuesday night, 17-year-old Kyle Rittenhouse allegedly shot three people in Kenosha, Wisconsin, with an AR-15-style rifle, killing two. Videos of the event tell us an incomplete story of what, exactly, happened that night. But they appear to clearly show this much: Rittenhouse traveled to the protests in illegal possession of an assault weapon to act as a vigilante. He placed himself at the center of the violence, then escalated it by shooting a man in the head. Minutes later, he shot two more people who appeared to be trying to disarm him, then fled across state lines. For this bloody spree, prosecutors charged Rittenhouse with first-degree intentional homicide. In short, a teenager obsessed with law enforcement decided to play the role of a cop and wound up, according to law enforcement, committing murder.

    So Stupid? Dishonest? Or Both?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Saying they’re stupid at this point gives them the benefit of the doubt. They’re as dishonest as the day is long, although they are parsing their words a bit.

    • Brochettaward

      The talking points are out on this one. Rittenhouse was out on a mission that night. He “traveled” all of 20 miles hellbent on shooting someone. Ignore that he was fleeing from the people he shot and only did so after being assaulted (the first shooting, it’s less clear what happened, but he appears on the only video I’ve seen to be getting chased as well).

    • Tejicano

      I’d love to hear this rag’s excuse for why that mob thought it had to disarm Rittenhouse as he was going towards the police lines. He was no longer shooting when the mob backed off so he was not threatening them.

      Disingenuous riot-apologists.

    • Hyperion

      Yes

    • KSuellington

      Sounds like a mostly peaceful protest.

    • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

      The smearing of this kid is already in full swing–the Slate* piece is but one of many already out. Be prepared for much, much more.

      /I can’t help but call Slate “Slute”, due to some very poor, unfortunate graffiti I used to see at a local mall years ago.

      //Kortney is a male slute

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Brutal

    • Drake

      The Kenosha Kid.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Bra-fucking-o! That deserves the opera applause.

    • Drake

      Funny and very prophetic.

    • kinnath

      What jokes. Every word was true.

    • Brochettaward

      For now, the ruling essentially puts journalists and legal observers on the same footing as demonstrators when it comes to orders to disperse and the use of force.

      Journalists aren’t a protected class. The first amendment applies to everyone equally, or it applies to no one. Kind of should just be basic judging shit.

      • Viking1865

        Yeah especially since every other rioter has been sticking PRESS on their helmets.

  20. R C Dean

    “an IBLAX theater playing Black produced movies 24/7“

    Sublime.

  21. Ownbestenemy

    Trump should zing! Beetlejuice of ChiTown that he allows protests in front of his house

    • Chafed

      That’s good.

    • pan fried wylie

      To be fair, the people guarding Trump’s house actually have physical standards to meet.

  22. hayeksplosives

    Thanks, Trashy. I needed the laugh.

    Separate but equal. The American Dream.

    • Gustave Lytton

      I wonder if it’s really in stock, or CTD playing backorder games with buyers?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Ozy is going to have a huge selection of ammo if this shit blows over,

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        For those rounds, 3 three days tops, they seem to be not so popular, limit 5 boxes per order,

    • hayeksplosives

      Order form: “Can this ship to you?”

      ::Hayek taps in zip code.::

      Order form: “No”

      They could at least offer condolences. ::pout::

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        want some?

    • R C Dean

      I snagged a case Federal slugs. I’ve had much better luck with 12 gauge ammo than anything else.

    • Chafed

      I’ve shot those. My shoulder felt it the next day.

  23. hayeksplosives

    One of my old friends from Minneapolis (whom I met through the Republican Liberty Caucus, come to think of it) posted this on Facebook.

    (Friend is a big, tall guy but deaf so being outnumbered in a fight would be an issue fir him. He has an eBay Vintage sports memorabilia store that did well enough that he renovated and opened a brick and mortar store with his savings. He reads lips extremely well and speaks well with that “deaf accent.”)

    Today four teenagers with state mandated masks came into my store. They proceeded to engage in a game of distraction so they could steal from my til. One went into my back room where customers are not allowed. I went back and told home that they had to leave. While this was happening his friends took about $400 out of my til and ran. The one I was speaking with hit a customer in the face in front of his son.

    While this may have happened regardless of the current climate. The climate where the media and the political left are condoning criminality even to the point where they are saying it’s needed/acceptable are particularly inspiring young men to engage in crime.

    After 40 years of telling boys they are worthless and devaluing life with pro abortion rhetoric is coming home to roost. The devaluation of moralality and ethics are laid squarely at the feet of the political left.

    His 3rd paragraph interested me because he has always hated politics getting into morality.

    • Hyperion

      Well, the left are evil. I think humans have a built in evil detector. I’t a feeling, sense, and it’a little different than anything else. And I’ve never felt it so strongly as I do coming from today’s left.

      I’m not a religious person, but I can’t deny that real evil exists. I think truly evil people don’t sense it, or they actually enjoy it, not sure which.

      Of course the left have always been evil. I mean, Stalin, Mao, Hitler, Pol Pot, etc, are living proof. But it’s never actually manifested like this in modern times, here in our country, up close like this. These people will destroy everything if they are not restrained.

    • Viking1865

      The Left has no limiting principle on anything really. The Right defends the status quo. In 2005 the argument for gay marriage was framed as “consenting adults should be able to do as they please.” In 2020 the Right is trying to stop teenagers from being pumped full of hormones and undergoing surgery, and the Left is insisting that they are just being bigots. We are already starting to see the first forays into the sexualization of actual children.

      This is the shit I used to mock the Bible thumpers for, used to say they were overreacting. I am less confident of that assertion than I used to be. I thought the principle of “consenting adults, in their private lives can do what they wish” was a terminal, not just one more stop on the road.

  24. Hyperion

    The thing about Pelosi saying Biden should not debate is hilarious for her reasons. Because we got Trump’s taxes! We got him this time, walls closing in, circling the wagons! The democrats are pure parody now.

    • hayeksplosives

      “We have to elect Joe to find out how mentally unfit he is.”

      “Joe Biden is Joe Biden,” <—-actual Pelosi quote.

      • slumbrew

        Adam Carolla has pointed out: if you just repeat someone’s name when asked about them – ‘Joe? Oh, you know, Joe is Joe’ – it means that person is a gigantic asshole.

  25. commodious spittoon

    I’ve got the tiniest ponytail courtesy of covid. I’m either metro now or this guy.

    • slumbrew

      That’s a great clip!

      (I’m sure it says something about me that I thought, “man, those are terrible looking negronorum – martini glasses? wtf?”)

      • commodious spittoon

        How can you tell? I draw a total blank where mixed drinks go.

      • slumbrew

        Just cocktail snobbery – I hate martini glasses (too prone to spilling) and very much prefer Negronis up. No sane person would should really care (but, seriously, coupes are so much better than martini glasses).

      • pistoffnick

        ” I draw a total blank where mixed drinks go.”

        Down the hatch?

      • slumbrew
      • Tejicano

        “I draw a total blank where mixed drinks go.”

        That’s what I call a drinking problem

  26. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

    grrrr, mobile Firefox updated to some newfangled version that killed tampermonkey…. bye bye Eyepiece, hello dark ages.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      Just switched over to Kiwi browser. It has extensions (unlike Brave), and it doesn’t suck (like Firefox)

  27. commodious spittoon

    Good lord I hate hearing this man speak.

    • slumbrew

      You’ll have to narrow that down for me…

    • Brochettaward

      I hated Trump for non-political reasons in 2015. That kept up through the election and after, though his outlandishness in accusing Ted Cruz’s father of killing Kennedy warmed the cockles of my heart. He’s grown on me. Now he’s just entertaining.

      • Brochettaward

        Though god damn he talks too long.

  28. Chipping Pioneer

    Spiderman from the morning links:

    That dude hangs out in Plaza Mayor in Madrid. I’ve talked with him a couple of times. He’s a funny guy.

    I think he might have some side deal with the cops. Maybe looking out for petty crime against tourists? I’ve seen him talking with the local PoPo more than once.

  29. Brochettaward

    I think the line “Joe Biden is weak” was an ad lib.

  30. Yusef drives a Kia

    I love prepping, anyone need gauze bandages? I have hundreds, all sterile

  31. Gustave Lytton

    What an absolute shitshow. I’m convinced a large segment of this country is a lost cause.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Gustave, I said earlier this year, we won’t make it til the end of the year, get ready my friend, no shit,,

  32. Yusef drives a Kia

    I need a coil of copper and a pot for a still, have to quit tobacco, grow small batch weed. i figure we can trade with Kingman, gunpowder for fish etc. and a pact, that No One gets across the River alive,

  33. Chafed

    Great job Trashy. Loved it.

  34. Hyperion

    Anyone played Wastelands 3 yet?

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Why play? I live there…

      • Hyperion

        I thought it was in West Baltimore.

      • Hyperion

        Actually looks like first mission is establishing a supply line from CO to AZ, so headed your way…

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I’ll buy the beer if you make it,
        Cheers!

  35. Brochettaward

    Where’s that homo straffinrun?

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      PRO jec tion

      • Gustave Lytton

        More like brojection, amirite?

      • Brochettaward

        I’ll let you show yourself out.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Hey! I haven’t even passed out, face down in my own vomit yet!

  36. Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

    Here is a, imo, pretty good analysis of the Kenosha shooting: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dfAz851P8p4

    *Keeping in mind the scope, info, and platform

    Also, I can’t fully agree with the idea of trouncing this kid for going to try to help business owners protect their property, if the help is accepted. While it might not have been smart for this kid to do so, making it a blanket policy for everyone leaves us with, either, “Just let it happen”, or. “Just let the government (i.e. police) handle it. It’s that 2nd sentiment I can’t get behind, because, I think its prevalence is why so many people are “helpless” today.

    Plus, aren’t we all tired of bad/inadequate policing? Do we really expect them to successfully handle all this shit, while everyone NOT an agent of the State just sits back and watches?

    • Chafed

      It’s hard to evaluate Rittenhouse only because we don’t know how it started.

      I agree with your second point. I won’t encourage vigilantism and I won’t condone shrinking from a threat.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Yeah–the lack of all the facts makes a comprehensive run-down of the issue(s) difficult. AJW, I think, does a good job with what’s available…or, was when he recorded. Like he says, he’ll continue to re-evaluate as more info comes out.

    • straffinrun

      Interesting. Is it vigilantism when you are trying to protect someone’s property and then you are attacked? Not the way I see it. The earlier videos show the state of mind of Rittenhouse and victim #1. Doesn’t totally prove the guy started it, but his highly agitated state strongly suggests it.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        I think you are correct. Of course, Baldy’s k-k-komrades are going to beatify him and the others. But, I continue to smdh about people who condemn the kid under the guise of, “Shoulda left it to the professionals”, when they are also condemning the ‘professionals’ for even existing.

        There is some serious cognitive dissonance from them (this not a slam against those with principled, nuanced arguments against both the kid and modern policing–many of which I agree with).

      • straffinrun

        Cops around the country standing down when they shouldn’t (rioting, arson, assaults etc) and standing up when they shouldn’t (drug arrests and other actions). It’s the exact opposite of what I want.

    • cyto

      I think you have hit upon the plan.

      Can’t have race riots if both sides agree and nobody fights back!

      So promise not to prosecute anyone for rioting and pull the police out.

      Mission accomplished.

  37. one true athena

    Rand Paul needs to start packing. He got mobbed on the way out of the convention, Kelly had her shoe (?) taken, and the livestream was really dicey there for a moment. Scary.

    And that’s where you can tell none of these people give one single fuck about actual criminal justice reform. Attack the guy who has done the most for it, sponsors bills for it all the time? They don’t care. He’s not a commie, so he’s got to go.

    • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

      Inorite?? He’s actually trying to get more government out of your life, including lots of over-policing shit. But, nah–he’s got the dreaded (R) by his name, so he’s automatically a target.

      There aren’t enough Rittenhouses, sometimes.

      • hayeksplosives

        “Say her name! Say her name!”

        WTF is she on about?

      • Gustave Lytton

        It’s their demands to name blacks killed by police. The same dumb fucks that wouldn’t recognize those killed by police who aren’t black or wouldn’t recognize any names until this current period of riots. It supposed to be some sort of gotcha.

        It’s fucking pissing me off that one of the few congresscritters that has been caring about the purported issue for years and has introduced legislation time and again, often getting blocked by the corrupt democrats, the same ones cynically using these riots to extend their control, is being subjected to that treatment. By half literate savages who don’t have a fucking clue. I want to see the cops use batons and water cannons to break fucking skulls. If they won’t act like adults and human beings, fuck em. Put them in the gutter or the grave. I’m sick of this shit.

      • pan fried wylie

        SAVAGES>!>! LYNCH THIS LYTTON!!111

      • hayeksplosives

        I picked the wrong year to quit drinking.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I’m sure I’m drinking for you. And I was starting to think I was boozing too much back when I was flying more regularly.

      • hayeksplosives

        Believe me, I would if I could. The mind is willing, but the liver is weak.

      • hayeksplosives

        And thanks for sparing me the wade-through of “news” outlets.

      • Gustave Lytton

        And I should add, it’s not just Democrats of course who have blocked most reforms, its also Republicans and unions and administrators. It’s hypocrisy that kills me. Both for the sincerity of reform but also of aims. Almost everyone on both sides of the aisle wants ever larger and more intrusive government telling me and mine what to do and how to do it. They just sometimes disagree on the specifics. They cannot stand to not have control and force people to bend to their will. It’s not enough to present a case for doing something, and then leave it as you as a free man or woman, it’s up to you to choose how to proceed. They can’t accept that there might be a possibility that a free man will pull a Bartleby.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        They cannot stand to not have control and force people to bend to their will

        To be fair, that’s almost everyone–the people that elect them want them to be forcing “those people over there” to get in line.

        “Oh, it’s not me that needs it! It’s those ‘people’ over there that have to controlled.”

      • Ted S.

        Justine Damond.

    • Gustave Lytton

      “Say her name!”

      “Gabby Douglas!”

      GFO, you elitist grifter.

      • hayeksplosives

        The flying squirrel herself!

    • hayeksplosives

      Can’t have it both ways. She hates slurs involving her resemblance non-human primates, but then she complains when we ignore the gorilla in the room.

      Geez, lady, there’s no way whitey can win with you, is there?

      • hayeksplosives

        Did I do that?

        ::blinks innocently::

      • Tejicano

        “… there’s no way whitey can win…”

        That’s the point of the game. This is why I won’t play it with them.

      • hayeksplosives

        Strange game. The only way to win is not to play.

        Thanks, Joshua.

      • Tejicano

        I guess it’s one of the reasons I deal with many Americans here if they aren’t veterans. Most veterans, in my experience, don’t play this woke game. The African Americans I know from my old reserve unit openly mock all this racial stuff. And once you are a retiree you have a minimum of 20 years dealing with a total racial salad of people so your color blind credentials are pretty much solid with all other veterans.

      • Tejicano

        “…reasons I DON’T deal with many Americans here …”

      • hayeksplosives

        Gotcha. Typo assumed.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Me applying for a government job and one of the interview board questions was about experience working with and dealing with people of different races or backgrounds. In retrospect, I think they thought they were priding themselves on multicultural crapola efforts. Meanwhile, I was somewhat flabbergasted. Don’t you see my resumes? I worked with people of all sorts of background. Of course as I grew up after, I realized that not everyone is interested in actually getting the work done and pulling together as a team or practicing the golden rule.

      • Tejicano

        After having grown up with Mexican-Americans and Mexicans in primarily Spanish speaking social situations, then a few years in the military with every flavor a race and ethnicity, and having lived in Asia most of my adult life mostly in the local language I find I am the most uncomfortable in situations where everybody else is white speaking only English and assumes I’m like them.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        “I’d piss on the spark plug, if I thought it would help.”

      • hayeksplosives

        Did that actor ever play a role that wasn’t a clone of “that guy”?

      • Tejicano

        And one of the amusing aspects of all this for me personally is that I would bet good money that a large majority of the white Marines I served with are probably convinced I’m one of those SJW’s bowing down to confess the sin of my whiteness. 40+ years ago it wasn’t fashionable to be color blind but I had the moral fiber to treat all the Marines I led exactly the same. It was pretty common for them to call me n****r-lover to my face.

        So I have the exact same DGAF attitude to the current SJW crew as I did to the actual racists I used to deal with.

      • pan fried wylie

        Nuke Whitey From Orbit, It’s The Only Way to Be Sure.

        I’m rooting for the xenos.

    • Tejicano

      “Say her name!”

      Elia Martell?

  38. hayeksplosives

    I was pondering the term “social justice” and others: racial justice, environmental justice, economic justice…

    What on earth does justice actually mean? When I was 8 I would have said justice when a criminal is caught, found guilty and sent to jail. A little later I learned that financial compensation could be a form of justice, but once again, justice was the product of the law being applied unemotionally.

    Now justice is a buzzword that wards off close questioning. Who doesn’t want justice done? Do you hate children and puppies, too?

    Truth, justice, and the American Way. All dismantled and redefined during my lifetime.

  39. Gustave Lytton

    It’s after midnight and I have neither celery stalks nor a 19 year old Doris Day. One more video and hit the snooze bar.

    • hayeksplosives

      Uh, guys, our Russian spy Lytton over here has had a meltdown. His coded speech is all garbled.

      • Tejicano

        You’re using the wrong decoder ring.

      • hayeksplosives

        Oh, right. Silly me; I’m still wearing the one with the seeing pyramid and Annuit Coeptis inscription.

        Gotta remember to change rings back after the meetings.

      • Tejicano

        Right. Friday on an even numbered date means the ring with the serpent, spear, and globe. Don’t forget to use the mirror – even numbered month.

      • Gustave Lytton

        https://youtu.be/QcKPM6Je5Xw

        To think that about 8 months after this came out, the US would be under attack. Makes me think about 2001 and how blind I was to what would happen in a short period of time.

      • hayeksplosives

        I think Americans (extremists excluded) are an optimistic lot and don’t have centuries of habitual war like Britain, France, the Low Countries, Spain etc did before they realized that they better knock that off in the modern era.

        So Americans seek freedom, creation, happiness, and we generally want to help suffering nations and people’s.

        Then we are blindsided by attacks, cuz we were just trying to help or just minding our own business, and we fail to realize how resented we are.

        True of Pearl Harbor, 9/11, and now the “justice” socialist protesters-cum-rioters.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Thank you, that helps to put it in perspective.

      • hayeksplosives

        Eww. That might be too much even for a band name.

      • Tejicano

        I would bet you can find that title on Pornhub

  40. hayeksplosives

    18th century: White Man’s Burden frames (in a positive light) colonial imperialism as the moral duty of the white race to bring civilization to the brutish, non-white Other who inhabits the barbarous parts of the world. WMB=Good

    20th century: White Man’s Burden is recognized as a racist poem and a racist idea that assumes that only through the charity and benevolence of superior Whitey will the non-whites become civilized. WMB=BAD

    21th century: White Man’s Burden frames (in a positive light) race riots and hashtags as the moral duty of the white race to bring equality and a voice to the brutish, non-white Other who inhabits the barbarous parts of the inner cities. WMB=Good, though now known as Woke.

    • Tejicano

      The way I’m reading it is 21th century White Man’s Burden is the onus being on the white man to accept the transgressions of his race and accede to whatever requirements the woke tribunal decides.

      • hayeksplosives

        I’m thinking of the leftie whites who really do seem to be so racist that they believe they must set quotas and apply affirmative action and appropriate money from other white people, because without their benign leftie white helping hand, those brown folks will never make it on their own.

      • Tejicano

        I don’t know if you have seen the youtube guy “youngrippa59”? He’s a black guy who totally rejects all this “help” the SJW’s are pushing. He doesn’t deny that racism is out there but knows he is strong enough to succeed and excel if you just get out of his way. I wish his message was getting heard by more people.

      • hayeksplosives

        Yep. I reckon it’s similar frustration to what I had when I qualified for an automatic scholarship by scoring above a certain number on the ACTs and SATs. I was proud of that win, but then I learned that the female score threshold was lower than that iif males.

        Even though my score was higher than that higher male threshold score, I felt like people would assume I got the scholarship with a score that was “pretty good…for a girl.”

      • hayeksplosives

        My point is that the lefties aren’t nearly as ashamed and humbled as they say; they want kudos and to earn a “get out of reparations and mob violence free” card.

      • Tejicano

        You are correct in that they are not ashamed in any way. They want to be seen as leading the Great White Confession in which all other whites will be apologizing and offering reparations. Then they can say to themselves that they led the revolution which made “the black man equal”. Black people everywhere will thank them for their work and revere their names and their images.

      • Tejicano

        Sorry – that’s an image of the beer I am enjoying – Sapporo Gold Star. It actually doesn’t meet Japanese standards for “Beer” and is classified as a “brew” which is taxed at a lower rate. This means it costs me about half of what a regular Sapporo, Asahi, or Kirin does – but I find it at least as good so a win-win for me.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Sometimes–sometimes–that regulation your betters want for you ends up benefiting you in unplanned ways.

      • limey

        I’d go so far as to say there may have been up sides to the size-based tax brackets for vehicles which, to a degree, birthed the kei cars and trucks, which are often pretty cute.

  41. straffinrun

    Shinzo Abe stepping down. Gastrointestinal inflammation. Wonder who we’ll get next?

    • Gender Traitor

      Wow. He couldn’t just take some Pepto?

      • straffinrun

        He had to step down once before as PM for a year for the same thing. Sometimes relatively benign sounding health problems cause havoc.

  42. limey

    Good morning, wonderful people. Last night my lower back became sore and stiff. AFAICR I haven’t done any errant lifting or twisting, jerking motions while doing that. I dunno where it’s come from. It’s better this morning. Maybe it’s sympathy pains for my buddy who had texted me the day before about f*(&ing his back with a deadlift at the gym, and suffering similar, but worse, pain and stiffness.

    • Sean

      Good morning. Glad you’re feeling better.

      • limey

        Thanks dude. I’m primed to jump into glibfit to expand on things with hopefully only good news come Sunday PM.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, limey/JD. Tragic twerking accident? Hope the discomfort disappears pronto.

      • limey

        Thanks, yes I think that would explain it. Bouncin’ my donk. An excellent morning to you, GT.

      • Festus' Mustache

        “Wet Ass Plebe”?

    • westernsloper

      Last night my lower back became sore and stiff.

      A sure symptom of the Vid. Nice knowing ya limey.

      • limey

        My first thought :'( 😀

    • Gender Traitor

      Board member Ron Jackson said that the stadium could accommodate a group of family members for each team member and still maintain 6 feet of separation.

      “I don’t see why we can’t do that,” Jackson said. “I understand it flies in the face of 250 people at outdoor events, but that’s an arbitrary number.”

      I like this guy.

      By the way, what’s the Quakertown team’s name? In my past life with the eventually-to-be-Rev. GT, he was a residence hall advisor at a Quaker college. Their teams were the “Hustlin’ Quakers.” (Instead of a fight song, they had a passive resistance song.) I believe they were in the same conference as a Wesleyan college whose teams were called the “Battling Bishops.”

      • Sean

        The football team is the Panthers.

      • Gender Traitor

        Black Panthers: “Cultural appropriation!!!”

      • Gender Traitor

        Somehow the bright multi-colored socks make that forgivable to me. Either black or white socks with sandals and I get flashbacks of my dad’s footwear. ::shudders::

      • Festus' Mustache

        Socks with sandals are perfectly fine. Some of us hate sand…

      • Tres Cool

        /looks down @ feet

        /decides to not comment

      • Festus' Mustache

        “The Battling Bishops” from Morningwood Academy? The Oxford Fencers? The Cambridge Jousters?

    • limey

      They just goad and goad and get right up in your face with the bullhorn until you make the slightest flinch to defend yourself (which is the whole point of this provo-prop) and then they go apeshit and next thing you know your lying in the street being kicked in the head, and the MSM is either ignoring it completely or speculating on how much of a racist shitlord you are. If you really go all in and successfully defend yourself then you’re charged and face a highly politicized prosecution, which, even if ultimately unsuccessful, has taken a big chunk out of your life and affected you in many profound ways.

      • limey

        BLM PR is good at the initial pitch to progs who consider themselves educated, intelligent and reasonable, and of course it works insidiously to help said morons just rationalize away stuff like this or outright deny it.

    • Festus' Mustache

      His Grandma would make him go out to cut his own willow switch for the whipping. That is shameful.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      This shit has got to stop, no fucking doubt.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Holy shit, the comments on that goddamn thread. These people can’t be allowed to win, they have blood on their minds.

    • Gender Traitor

      What’s stopping these violent anarchists from attacking any one of us? Nothing (except our guns and ammo, so buy more).

      BLM/Antifa – Smith & Wesson Salesmen of the Year.

      • straffinrun

        And then BLM/Antifa will start arming. It won’t be a fair fight and I see no way to avoid the bloodshed. They are zealots and zealots don’t give up easily.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        They’re a small portion of the population who will lose but it would be bloody. Hopefully it doesn’t come to that but if LE doesn’t pull their heads out of their asses and perform their only legitimate functions it’s bound to happen.

      • Sean

        An untrained 17 year old went 3 and 0 against the mob. At least one of which was carrying a firearm.

        What happens when some trained patriots get in there?

    • Festus' Mustache

      “This is fine!”

  43. Festus' Mustache

    Mornin’ Jabronies!

    • Sean

      Mornin’

    • Festus' Mustache

      I am actually doing that thing.

      • westernsloper

        Are you doing it, or is your mustache doing it?

      • Festus' Mustache

        I’ve tamed the mustache but the hat is a different kettle of fish.

      • Gender Traitor

        Dare I ask…what thing?

      • Festus' Mustache

        That thing that the guy doesn’t like.

    • Gender Traitor

      Mornin’, Fes!

      • Festus' Mustache

        *Bows low and gives a flourish of cocked hat*

      • Gender Traitor

        I’d curtsy but ‘cept for the cat on my lap.

      • Festus' Mustache

        #metoo

  44. straffinrun

    Douchebag, but he’s not wrong. (Morning’ to you too Japronies).

    • Festus' Mustache

      I can’t wait for the neural net so that we can be tracked properly. Enough with chips and bar codes. This is the 21st Century!

      • Festus' Mustache

        *insert Morgan Freeman GIF* “He’s not wrong.”

      • westernsloper

        Nope, the douchebag is not wrong at all.

        Gov Suits having a conversation: They limited our ability to raise taxes and we need more money for the budget, what do we do?
        Fees, increase all the fees. And maybe make a few new ones.

      • Festus' Mustache

        Red light cameras, smoking bylaws, parking restrictions, the list goes on and on.

  45. Tres Cool

    mornin’ ya’all

    • Don escaped Duopoly

      howdy

    • Gender Traitor

      Mornin’, Homey!

    • Festus' Mustache

      Short Cans!

    • Sean

      And a fiery, but mostly peaceful mornin’ to you!

  46. l0b0t

    Good morning everyone. Work was so sucky, I’m triple-fisting a Bourbon drink, some sativa in the bong, and some indica in the bubbler. Hopefully, tonight will be better. Also, all the wealthy flight from Manhattan is really screwing me over. Rents are going up, I still can’t find affordable housing AND all the storage rental facilities are booked up so I can’t even get all my stuff out of wifey’s house. My heart is aching for that poor boy who slotted those terrorists in Kenosha. The Comsymp media and their assorted fellow travelers are gonna ruin his young life for a few years.

    • Festus' Mustache

      Just don’t let her sell your stuff out from under you if you can manage it. My Ex did that to me.

    • Sean

      My heart is aching for that poor boy who slotted those terrorists in Kenosha. The Comsymp media and their assorted fellow travelers are gonna ruin his young life for a few years.

      I got an email from the Gun Owners of America last night.

      They are going to support Kyle.

      Here’s an excerpt:

      “GOA has reached out to Rittenhouse’s attorneys and the Lake County Public Defender’s office, and we have our own attorneys and use of force experts looking into this case, too. In the meantime, we demand fair treatment from the media, because up till now, their coverage has been horrific. With no evidence, they have labeled Kyle as a racist and a vigilante, but that just indicates how the media elites view all gun owners.

      “More to the point, the media has given more favorable coverage to rioters and looters over the past several months than to gun owners who appear to be protecting their lives from violent attackers. The media excuses the violent torching of American cities as ‘mostly peaceful’ protests. And they now minimize the hatefulness of Kyle’s attackers, calling them mere ‘protesters.’

      Sorry you’re getting screwed over.

      • Not Adahn

        Got the same one. I like GOA. They actually replied when I asked for lawyers that might be willing to take me as a test case. Those lawyers were politce, told me I’d lose, and I’d have to pay them but that if I really wanted to be a martyr, they’d represent me.

  47. Festus' Mustache

    Sorry to hear, Friend. It sucks to be spinning so many plates at the same time but in all honesty, “triple-fisting” is something that I’m pretty sure isn’t even on HM’s browser history…

    • Tres Cool

      “in all honesty, “triple-fisting” is something that I’m pretty sure isn’t even on HM’s browser history…”

      Don’t tempt fate. He’ll show up.

      • Not Adahn

        …good? We need more of the Olde Guarde around.

    • l0b0t

      On the plus side, Plex on random just threw an old SNL episode at me – season 8 episode 20, host – NYC Mayor Ed Koch, musical guest – Dexy’s Midnight Runners. Opening monologue has Koch explaining why he dislikes President Reagan so much – “The president has hair! He flies in a barber from California; I have ask the city hall floor guy to run the buffer over my shiny dome.”

      • Tres Cool

        + Come On Eileen

      • l0b0t

        HA! Serendipitous timing; they just came on for their first song and, yes, it is indeed Come On Eileen.

      • Festus' Mustache

        After I watched a behind the music show about that band it changed everything. It claimed that their personal hygiene was lacking and seeing it again I get the strong odor of fish and B.O. in my head.

    • Tres Cool

      Band name? Album name ?

  48. l0b0t

    Cancel Eddie Murphy for constantly mocking teh gayz on SNL!

    • Festus' Mustache

      Can’t do that yet. Have to wait another twenty years. Like Cosby.