Brett is MIA, I repeat Brett is MIA! Afternoon Link

by | Aug 26, 2020 | Daily Links | 383 comments

We don’t know whether to be worried or not. No communication from him this time. I’m assuming the worst, because he is, after all, a Florida Man.

So, you’ll have to provide your own links for entertainment/ignoring.

Well, OK, here’s one to get you started:

I haven’t RTFA to know if she’s single.

 

Have a great afternoon, kids! We’ll let you know if there is a Brett sighting, so you can all quit your thoughts and prayers.

About The Author

SP

SP

I've got an idea! How about we just stick to the Constitution as written and then the government can leave me the fuck alone.

383 Comments

  1. Brochettaward

    Never rely on a guy named Brett.

    • Brochettaward

      I had to refresh the page for 18 minutes to get this First. Greatness is earned.

      • UnCivilServant

        That’s actually kinda sad.

      • Brochettaward

        Would you prefer it if the First was determined by mere chance, by someone simply getting lucky and clicking on the site at some random time and stumbling upon the PM links?

      • Nephilium

        Just ’cause he’s got a sad and empty life is no reason to feel pity for him.

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        Wouldn’t it be easier to just identify as first?

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        facking phone!

        anyway, Eyepiece refreshes every 45 seconds automagically so you dont have to jam the F5 button like a whore on a pay per minute plan

    • Plisade

      And yet you can’t spell Brochettaward without Brett.

  2. Rebel Scum

    I’m assuming the worst, because he is, after all, a Florida Man.

    Hopefully he has not been to Wisconsin recently.

    • SP

      I used to grocery shop in Kenosha every week when we lived back there. There are definitely some less-than-nice neighborhoods, but we really liked the place.

      • Not Adahn

        I was invited to a wedding there, but the invite was last-minute so I didn’t go.

        Plus, the reception was dry and vegan.

      • slumbrew

        the reception was dry and vegan.

        I read that as “please don’t come to our wedding”.

      • SP

        That’s the other reason one would put that info in the invitation.

      • KibbledKristen

        Plus, the reception was dry and vegan.

        What slum said.

        “Buy us gifts and fuck off”

      • Not Adahn

        Nah, just freakishly hippy and “health conscious.”

        The bride threw a fit at Sprouts because they sold supplements in gelatin-based capsules. She would go into a spittle-flecked rant if someone mentioned the Roman Empire. Still, I was very fond of her.

      • SP

        You can’t help whom you love, you can only help what you do about it.

      • Chafed

        Words of wisdom.

      • Animal

        We used to have quite a few friends in Denver’s little neo-Pagan community. Fun folks who really knew how to throw a shindig. Most of them weren’t vegan, in fact they would line up to cadge venison whenever I brought a deer or elk in.

        Most of them were nice enough people that I would never have told them what I really thought of some of the weird shit they believed in.

      • Tundra

        Lol.

        She’s never set foot on a farm, huh?

      • Count Potato

        The Roman Empire?

      • Tundra

        Still very upset about the whole Constantinople thing.

      • BakedPenguin

        You mean Istanbul?

      • Ted S.

        “Dry” here referring to the bride’s vagina?

      • Not Adahn

        Twenty years ago, absolutely not.

      • Mojeaux

        Ouch.

      • Mojeaux

        SP, OT: Did you get my email about the girlie craft stuff?

      • SP

        Sorry, crazy busy this week…and then I have to fill in last minute for Brett!

        Yes, I agree to your terms. Reply with an email with deets to remunerate you, please. 🙂

  3. KibbledKristen

    I’m still single, is what matters around here!!

    Hope BrettL (which rhymes with “Gretl”, BTW) is OK.

    Hellllooo Bretl!

    • Count Potato

      I’m pretty sure he’s taken. Perhaps by the authorities.

    • Mad Scientist

      Since you’re single, you may need this (poorly shot) porn to get you by.

      • KibbledKristen

        I’ll be in my bunk

      • KibbledKristen

        Did you hear the screaming in that video? Damn, she’s loud!

      • But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

        “Oohhhhhhhhhh, baby!”

      • Plinker762

        I wish I had recorded the tail numbers of the ones which were in my squadron back in the day.

  4. UnCivilServant

    Is it really a links if there’s only one?

    Oh, I get it, it’s madlinks, we have to add more.

    • Sean
    • UnCivilServant

      After some contemplation, I realized I don’t like This model as delivered. Don’t let that paint job fool you, you see that white ‘text’ on the right greave? That’s crammed into less than a quarter inch of physical space. The professional painters are freakish, and no human can produce such a result.

      I particularly thought the skeleton on his shield was a stupid touch, so during a meeting, I kitbashed the guy, having to swap out the whole arm upto and including the shoulderpad with parts from three different arms so that he’s holding a heavy bolt pistol gangsta style, with a different shield propped up like a pavise on a couple of sandbags. And I used the closed-visor helmet, because screw trying to paint those eyes.

      • pan fried wylie

        Is it all plastic, sorry, RESIN, now?

      • UnCivilServant

        Plastic.

        GW dropped most of the resin for two reasons – the customers hated it and didn’t buy it, and it wore out the molds faster than plastic.

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s actually an interesting topic from an economics and planning perspective.

        It is cheaper to make a mold for a resin mini, but the process of casting wears them out faster.

        It is more expensive to cut a mold for a plastic mini, but they are durable and can make a great multitude of positives.

        So to invest in making the mold for plastic, you have to be confident you’ll move enough units to cover that overhead. But if you make a resin model, you’re almost creating a self-fullfilling profesey because of the community dislike of the material and it’s bad reputation because of the defects caused by deteriorating molds.

        The main upside for resin is that they could be cast in the same molds as the old metal models as well. (At lower expense than pewter)

        Though they are now to a point where the CG design techniques allow for a higher level of detail than ever before in the plastic models.

      • peachy rex

        Ah, FineCast. Not GW’s cleverest moment.

  5. commodious spittoon

    No links is good links this week.

    • Mojeaux

      ^^^This.

  6. Not Adahn

    I haven’t RTFA to know if she’s single.

    She’s apparently queen of someplace called “Thorold.”

    • Rhywun

      It’s near Niagara Falls. Maybe she can snag a wealthy tourist at one of the casinos.

      • Rhywun

        *”wanna-be” wealthy

  7. DEG

    An Ontario woman who scored a lottery jackpot worth more than $750,000 told officials her winning numbers came to her in a dream.

    Slightly crazy eyes and a mask. Pass.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      It’s not even real money.

      • But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

        Tell you what — I’d be happy to unburden you of it should any of that “fake money” fall into your hands.

    • grrizzly

      And the jackpot is small.

      • Not Adahn

        It’s just Canada. I imagine more people play the lottery of a U.S. state.

    • Not Adahn

      She’s choosing to spend her winnings visiting Bulgaria.

      • Hyperion

        Looking at her travel wish list, it sounds like she’s probably a descendant of Alexander the Great’s psychopath mom. Yikes!

  8. Certified Public Asshat

    The Milwaukee Bucks have decided to boycott Game 5, source tells ESPN.— Adrian Wojnarowski (@wojespn) August 26, 2020

    The NBA shot Jacob Blake?

    • leon

      So does that count as a forfeit?

      • Brochettaward

        Curious how the woke NBA responds. In general, these people are all about pretending their brave while avoiding any actual consequences for their protesting.

      • Rebel Scum

        I’d say so.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        It’s a meaningless boycott otherwise right?

      • Not Adahn

        No-no, in light of their wokeness and courageous willingness to put their feelings first, the NBA will go ahead and award the championship to them.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Apparently the Magic will not accept a forfeit and the game will be rescheduled.

        I am not sure what this accomplishes.

      • Fifth Knight of the Derp Table

        Virtue was signaled. Backs were patted. Superiority of self was assured.

    • Bill (Door) Baggins (a Skellington)

      That’s a bold strategy, Cotton. Let’s see how it works out for them.

      • pan fried wylie

        They really dodged a bullet there.

      • Bill (Door) Baggins (a Skellington)

        Ba-dum-tsss!

        I have zero interest in the NBA (down from minimal interest in the recent past). Unfortunately I can’t convince the wife to drop her viewership of the NBA. Maybe I need to adjust some router settings to block anything related.

    • Agent Cooper

      How are ratings?

      HAHAHAHAHA

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      Another nail in the NBA coffin. May it die sooner than Blake.

      • Hyperion

        Maybe they’ll get new mascots dressed as rioters and looters who actually go out and loot and burn down everything near the stadium before games and that will save their season and fire up the fan base? Just a thought.

  9. grrizzly

    Somebody has not been paying attention.

    • Hyperion

      Because the tweet is unavailable?

  10. Mad Scientist

    I don’t think Brett’s really MIA since we know exactly which underpass to go looking for him.

    • pan fried wylie

      Social distancing restrictions mean we can’t form a large enough party to safely go check on him though.

    • SP

      You first!

      • Old Man With Candy

        We can get a Viking search party together.

      • SP

        A search party of Norse extraction.

  11. Shpip

    Maybe he took the boys to Disney World to watch a game.

    I’m sure this little stunt will do much to help the NBA’s sagging ratings.

  12. commodious spittoon

    “I really want to visit Greece, Turkey and Bulgaria,” Rose said.

    Those are certainly places.

    • grrizzly

      I’ve been to each of them. But too briefly in Greece and Turkey. There’s much more to see there.

  13. Suthenboy

    I don’t know if she is married but I know she is stupid. Posing with her face and the check?
    I hope she doesn’t have any children or grandchildren.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      1)Do not sign the ticket
      2)Visit a financial planner and hash out a plan that doesn’t involve you ever being connectable to that money.
      3) visit a lawyer to enact the plan

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        actually, the “don’t connect me to my money” part is more on the lawyer to figure out, but it should be part of the conversation in step 2.

      • Suthenboy

        You misspelled fiduciary

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        yes, as a matter of fact, I did. granted, id never hire a financial planner who wasn’t required to act as fiduciary.

      • grrizzly

        Your plan is good. But the jackpot is too small.

      • Hyperion

        Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. That’s certainly enough to help for retirement, but not enough to start planning for lifestyles of the rich and famous.

      • pan fried wylie

        Isn’t this already posted under the FAQs?

      • pan fried wylie

        The Glib FAQs, I mean.

      • Hyperion

        How to manage your orphans and windfall profits?

    • SP

      One usually doesn’t get a choice. It’s in the documents one signs before they give one the money. Winners have to agree to “publicity” efforts.

      • KSuellington

        I know it depends on the state, but I have heard that some start a corporation as soon as they win and have the corporation win the prize. That would be a very wise move where permitted.

      • SP

        Indeed, I would definitely be doing that.

      • Suthenboy

        Yes. see Trashy’s step 2 above

      • slumbrew

        Mass allows it, leading to some amusing photos of the “winners:

        https://legacy.masslottery.com/winners/

        March 10, 2020

        Eyvenia Lottery Trust of Lynn has claimed a $1 million prize in the Massachusetts State Lottery’s “200X” instant game.

        The trust, represented by trustee Brendan Ward…

        You get to see a nice picture of Brendan Ward, Esq.

      • DEG

        NH allows lottery winners to sign the ticket on behalf of a trust. The trust is made public as part of any list of winners or publicity materials.

      • KSuellington

        I wonder if that would just be the trust name getting listed or any of its beneficiaries?

      • DEG

        Just the trust.

      • Shpip

        I’m surprised we haven’t seen more winners be like this guy.

      • Suthenboy

        His name is on the check.

        *facepalm*

    • Count Potato

      Well, she’s wearing a mask.

      They already gave out her name, and where she lives.

      • pan fried wylie

        Benefits of the panicdemic so far:

        1. downfall of public schools
        2. easier lottery winning

      • Gustave Lytton

        Sheriff’s office here is doing renewals for concealed carry by mail now.

        SLD applies.

    • But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

      SOP for Canadian lottery winners, and (IIRC) impossible to get out of. The provincial lottery corporations insist on the photo op, or no mon, hon.

      • Suthenboy

        We quit doing that years ago after a couple of unfortunate incidences. I think Texas and Mississippi did as well.

      • But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

        Thankfully, the kind of “unfortunate incidences” of which you speak have been blessedly rare up here. Unlike the standard “he/she partied for a year and then woke up one morning dead-ass broke” stories about too many of the winners.

  14. leon

    So Brett was either a 17 year old from Akron, or some Antifa guy?

  15. Tundra

    Hi SP!

    Thanks for pinch-hitting again!

    • SP

      Hi, Tundra!

      You’re welcome!

  16. KSuellington

    So it looks like Kanye made ballot access in Minnesota. He is also in Virginia and Colorado which should likely put those three in the Trump column. I was thinking before Trump would win with a slightly higher vote than last time. He is going to win by a substantial margin more (despite the Dem shennnanegans).

    • Suthenboy

      Despite? You mean ‘because of’

      • KSuellington

        I meant the voting by mail and found ballot type of Dem shenanigans, not the tacitly supporting rioting and looting ones.

    • B.P.

      Since I live in one of those states, it gives me the option out-smug my neighbors. “Why didn’t you vote for the black man like I did, racist?”

      • KibbledKristen

        #MeToo

    • Hyperion

      I’m still predicting that he wins by slightly more than be beat Hillary by. He’ll legitimately win, but the dems are definitely going to cheat with vote by mail, which will keep it closer.

      • Hyperion

        Although sometimes I have to wonder, with the way dems are winning hearts and minds by encouraging rioting and looting, then saying the want to defund the cops AND take away people’s guns. Brilliant plan.

    • Tundra

      High ‘vid risk.

    • Roland of Gilead

      Nope. Bombshell.

      • Mad Scientist

        She certainly resembles one.

      • SandMan

        Saw that one from a mile away and I still larfed.

  17. Rebel Scum

    Winning hearts and minds.

    Chanting “silence is violence,” the mobs in D.C. demanded that random people they came across do as they were told: raise a fist or else. In one video, a seated woman is surrounded by angry BLM activists, nearly all of them white, fists raised, haranguing her to do the same.

    The woman, showing good American instincts, reportedly said she agreed with them but refused to be bullied by a mob.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        The last time I saw a group of black people at a BLM protest it was black residents of Englewood Chicago kicking out BLM protesters.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        All the other BLM protests have been a game of “where’s Waldo”

      • Drake

        I’m supposed to believe BLM and antifa are two different things, and imaginary. It’s hard to keep straight in my mind.

      • blighted_non_millenial

        There was actually an organizer calling for the white people to go up front to harass the woman.

  18. The Late P Brooks

    The woman, showing good American instincts, reportedly said she agreed with them but refused to be bullied by a mob.

    She should have stabbed one of them in the eye with her fork.

    • Not Adahn

      Well, since they’re six hours ahead they had to publish the article without as much information as we have now in the present.

    • Claypoolsreservoir

      This will be a weird case as he wasn’t a resident of Wisconsin. But does the cops giving him water legitimize his case for being there? I assume you’re allowed to peaceably assemble in any state in the country, and so long as he wasn’t breaking any local laws, particularly with regard to the local gun laws, I hope he will be found not guilty. The videos clearly show he only fired when being either chased, kicked, pushed, punched, or attached. After each shot, he called 911 to report the shooting. He turned himself in. Unfortunately, he will likely be made an example of by the DA’s office. They don’t want people protecting property that isn’t their own, and in reality, they don’t want people protecting property period.

      • DEG

        I saw someone on a twitter thread claim that since the shooter is 17, he was carrying illegally.

        I did a little digging into Wisconsin’s gun laws. I think the government has him on that. My understanding of what I found is that open carry is legal in Wisconsin if you are 18 or older.

      • mrfamous

        Where he’s from is not all that far from Kenosha either. He’s from a town in Illinois on the border of Wisconsin about twenty miles west of Kenosha. It’s certainly no longer of a drive than a lot of people commute in the morning.

        It sounds like he made some very poor decisions, but murder in the first degree is an absurd overcharge and he will not ever be convicted of that.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Shouldn’t be…

        I have decreasing faith in mobs, including juries.

      • Claypoolsreservoir

        Agreed. As the poster said above he was illegally carrying. Thus, he was breaking the law and therefore looking for trouble. If he wasn’t looking for trouble, why did he break the law? That’s probably why they are charging him with 1st degree. He knew he was breaking the law; he showed up with an intent to kill those that tried to burn and loot property that was not his own; he is the textbook definition of vigilante. First degree will be hard to convict, but certainly not impossible. Especially if his public defender isn’t worth the shirt on his back.

      • kinnath

        The purpose of the first degree murder charge is to bankrupt the family and force a plea agreement.

      • The Hyperbole

        Shit, that kid’s gofundme is going to be yuge and lawyers will be lining up to defend him and get some of that sweet sweet backlash money.

      • B.P.

        It was mentioned on this forum previously but… won’t gofundme just yank his gofundme page?

      • The Hyperbole

        Masterpiece Cakeshop still has a page up.

      • Viking1865

        So bottom line he shoots three people.

        1 guy is chasing him, throwing something at him, he turns and puts one right through his skull.

        2nd and 3rd guys are chasing him, he trips, falls, he shoots both of them from the seated position. 2nd guy is wielding a skateboard like a club, and is shot while in contact.

        3rd guy is holding a pistol in his right hand, comes up close, grabs the rifle with his left hand, and takes a round to his right upper arm. He’s still holding the pistol in his hand at the end of the encounter.

        There’s no way in hell that’s 1st degree murder, not even a little bit. But he was an idiot to go down and there and get involved in this shit.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I agree he was stupid to get involved but he was completely justified in all of those shootings in my view. Legally maybe not, we’ll find out I guess, but morally, absolutely as far as I’m concerned.

      • Urthona

        What is the first one throwing at him? If he believes he is in serious danger for bodily harm he can use lethal force. My understanding at least.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Can’t tell…the vid is from a ways away and I’m watching on a phone.

      • Urthona

        It’s some consolation, at least, that the brick was fresh.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I don’t know if you’re serious or joking (why put it in a bag?) but if that’s the case I’m fine with the first shoot too.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I’m serious, but the source I heard it from wasn’t somebody I know well enough to accept it as truth.

      • Deplorableme

        The twitter chatter mentions a Molotov cocktail, based on the flash of bright light that could be flame, but who knows.

      • Urthona

        That seems like too sophisticated a device for one of these guys. Brick in a bag. Now that sounds believable.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        The issue with molotov is that the guy who throws it runs right over it seconds later. They’re stupid, but not “run right past a dud molotov” stupid.

      • thepasswordispassword

        They’re grab a loaded rifle (that you just observed firing) by the barrel stupid. Is that less stupid than “run right past a dud Molotov” stupid?

      • cyto

        Meh.

        A molotov is just a bottle filled with gas, or kerosene with a rag stuffed in the top. Light on fire and toss.

        A “dud” is just one that went out. It is a puddle of flammable liquid at that point.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        A “dud” is just one that went out.

        or didn’t break. A flaming rag at the end of an intact bottle of kerosene isn’t something I would run towards.

      • Fatty Bolger

        There’s a pic from earlier where he’s holding the bag, and it looked to me like it had an insulated water bottle in it.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        They freeze water in various bottles I’ve heard. May as well be a brick.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Possible, or it could be empty. No way to know.

      • Claypoolsreservoir

        I postulated above that the vigilante aspect is why they sought 1st degree.

      • Viking1865

        There’s video of him from earlier in the night talking about how he was just there to protect private property, that he supported BLM and peaceful protests, etc. He was also running away from all the people he shot. Kind of hard to paint him as some wannabe psycho killer when hes literally running away. It also helps that all three guys he shot were white.

      • Urthona

        See I didn’t know that. I don’t want to watch the video. Nobody mentioned it, though, so I should have assumed.

      • Viking1865

        The video is pretty graphic. The first guy he shot has a good sized hole in his head, and some very helpful bystander is yelling “PUT PRESSURE ON IT!” while his eyes stare up lifelessly. He was dead before he hit the ground.

        Second guy takes one in the upper stomach/lower chest, and it look like it was angled up into his lungs and heart. Hits the ground lays on his stomach and never moves again.

        Third guy puts his hands up, they freeze for a second, then he takes another step forward and tries to control the rifle barrel with his left hand, but then the rifleman fires again and blows his upper arm to shit. Interesting he never fires the Glock hes holding, but he doesn’t drop it either.

        I think the kid is fucked honestly. He came in from IL with a rifle and some other tactical gear. Early in the night he was standing in front of some building. Unless thats a parent or other relative’s store that he can say he was defending, I think they can stack up a jury that will convict him.

      • Fatty Bolger

        The first guy is chasing him like a crazy person, the kid is clearly trying to get away, at some point it looks like he’s trapped and he turns around and shoots the guy who is almost on top of him. Then he apparently calls 911 almost immediately.

      • B.P.

        “Interesting he never fires the Glock hes holding, but he doesn’t drop it either.”

        I wonder how much muscle control a person has when suddenly losing an entire bicep.

  19. Rebel Scum

    Grasping. At. Straws.

    “JON PONDER’S story is inspirational,” Vogel tweeted from his verified Twitter account. “But should he be endorsing a candidate for president while being identified as the founder & CEO of Hope for Prisoners, which — as a 501(c)(3) non-partisan non-profit group — is barred from participating in partisan politics?”

    Vogel, who identifies as a journalist and political money expert, undoubtedly knows the answer to the question. The only 501(c)(3) entity barred from engaging in partisan activity is the organization itself: Hope for Prisoners. As a private citizen, as an American, as a man, and as long as he is not speaking on behalf of Hope for Prisoners, Ponder can do whatever he likes, including endorse a candidate.

    • leon

      Stay mad, Fuckstik.

      Realize this however, that the media/left isn’t just content with disagreeing with you. Every person who supports trump, they are looking at how they can criminally prosecute them.

    • invisible finger

      “Vogel, who identifies as a journalist”

      “Journalist” is just a gender now.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Its science…

  20. Sean

    https://thehill.com/changing-america/respect/equality/513781-dc-mayor-bowser-condemns-protesters-seen-in-viral-video

    The woman who was at the center of the protester’s frustration, Lauren B. Victor, told Kunkle that she had been marching alongside Black Lives Matter protests for weeks, but that she did not feel right about being coerced to show support by Tuesday’s demonstrators.

    “In the moment, it didn’t feel right,” Victor said.

    Victor also, however, added that she could sympathize with their anger.

    “I wasn’t actually frightened. I didn’t think they’d do anything to me,” she said. “I’m very much with them. I’ve been marching with them for weeks and weeks and weeks.”

    Friendly fire. ?

    • KibbledKristen

      The guillotine comes for all…

      • leon

        Marat escaped it.

      • Suthenboy

        Heh Heh.

      • Tundra

        They read Darkness at Noon and still think they will be the ones outside.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      They were one sudden move away from lynching her. I found that video more disturbing than the shooting vid.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        This. Im going to be availing myself of my concealed carry permit more consistently when I go out. This is getting nutter butter crazy.

      • SandMan

        #metoo

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Heads we win, tails you lose

    Trump, though, does not appear concerned about seeming out of touch with struggling Americans. He is rebranding the recession as a Trump success. And it just might work. For whatever reason, Trump, especially among Republicans, gets high marks for his stewardship of the economy, even in a pandemic.

    This New York Times’ polling tells the story. Eight in 10 Republicans who lost a job during the recession and are still out of work approve of how Trump has handled the pandemic.

    Maybe those people can discern the difference between their idiot governors (and what they did to torpedo the economy) and Trump.

    It was Trump what dunnit. Just keep saying it.

    • Rhywun

      You can’t expect a CNN writer to understand the complex workings of the American governmental system.

    • Count Potato

      Biden is ahead in Michigan. Then again, polls are bullshit.

  22. Rebel Scum

    I really dislike the language used to describe weather. I know it will be a large impact storm but come on. Make necessary preps and evacuate the areas expected to have the worst impacts. Hurricanes (and tornadoes/blizzards/etc.) are a fact of life.

    Hurricane Laura is quickly gaining speed as she moves across the Gulf Coast, the Weather Channel reports, opening up the possibility that Laura could become a category 4 — or even a category 5 — hurricane before she makes her projected landfall somewhere between New Orleans, Louisiana, and Houston, Texas.

    The Weather Channel has labeled Laura’s inevitable strike, “potentially catastrophic” and Fox News reports that the storm could bring with it a record-breaking, potentially “unsurvivable” storm surge to much of the Gulf Coast before it even touches land.

    “Hurricane Laura has strengthened into a Category 4 as it heads for a destructive landfall near the Texas and Louisiana border Wednesday night into early Thursday morning. A catastrophic storm surge and damaging winds will batter the region and a threat of flooding rain and strong winds will extend well inland,” the Weather Channel notes. “Residents along the upper Texas and southwest Louisiana coasts should finish preparations now for a major hurricane strike. Follow any evacuation orders issued by local or state officials.”

  23. KibbledKristen

    Do we have any glibs in SE TX/SW Louisiana? Hope y’all are TF out of there

    • Suthenboy

      I am central west Louisiana and I am battening down. Already stocked up on supplies. Only one worry….my power supply runs east/west and there is a large red oak a few feet south of the line. Oaks have shallow roots and the wind will come from the south. In case I lose power I have alternate supplies to charge phones and to cook with. There is nothing that can hit the house.
      If I were in Lake Charles/Cameron area I would get the fuck out of there but I think we are far enough north that we can hunker down and ride it out. I have done that at least a dozen tiimes….but much further south…If it is a 4…time to go.
      Yes Rebel, they are sensationalizing and should be just giving straight info, but I assure you this is nothing to balk at. I was guessing a 3 at landfall but this bitch got an attitude in a surprisingly short period of time. It’s a sucker punch just like Katrina, Rita, and Gustave pulled.
      Wife has been trying to get me to put in one of these: https://www.mrosupply.com/generators/electrical-generators/standby-generators/5792832_7043_generac/
      But the price turned me off. I may cave after this is over.

      *Most importantly the hot tub is full. That is my reserve water for toilet flushing. If you want a cranky, unhappy wife then let the toilets be unable to flush. Fortunately I can haul in buckets so she can flush if the water goes out.

      • But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

        My brother-in-law’s got the next model up for running his house and greenhouse operation, and he loves it. Already saved his op a couple of times.

    • SandMan

      I recently bought the house I grew up in just north of Suthenboy, (I think) so the storm surge is not an issue. For now it’s just a vacation home, I’m not currently there. But I’m a bit concerned about the wind and rain, I’ve already had 2 trees fall down, fortunately not on anything important. My neighbor is keeping me posted.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      I am in the Monroe area, pretty sure we will be alright this far north but I am battening down the hatches, ensuring my patio umbrella doesn’t turn into a ballista bolt. Mrs. Frankelson said the neighborhood Walmart she stopped by was bananas. The really bad news is that the kiddo was supposed to start school tomorrow, she’s had a friggin five-month spring break already FFS!

    • Count Potato

      “Yasss! New York Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez cleverly recoined the title ‘Women Against Patriarchy’ as it’s remarkable for two women to reach success in the typically misogynistic medium of hip-hop ”

      Yeah, OK, sure.

    • UnCivilServant

      I had never heard of a “Cardi B” before this election cycle, nor seen an image of one until the Biden interview. Not sure if that’s what she looks like all the time, but what I saw looked like something that writhed in the depths of the uncanny valley where no human aught to live.

    • Rhywun

      “I approve this message.”

      /Joe

  24. Drake

    My local place had .40 and lots of .308 in stock today.

      • Sean

        ?

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I don’t like shooting that gun, so I don’t prioritize keeping it in stock beyond a box or two.

      • Sean

        Why do you keep it if you don’t like it?

      • Sean

        How about full size mags with xGrip adapters?

      • Sean

        Nevermind. That’s not gonna solve it.

  25. slumbrew

    I posted last week about about the… anemic response to our company’s woke matching gift program[1].

    I spoke too soon – there has been a double-digit percentage jump in the number of donations in the last week!

    There have now been 64 donations. Out of ~ 8,800 employees.

    It’s a good thing we’re spending a bunch of time and hiring dedicated employees to address these important issues! It’s clear that as many as 0.73% of our employees feel strongly about it.

    [1]

    Our options:

    Amnesty International
    Black LGBTQIA Migran
    Black Lives Matter
    Black Mental Health Alliance
    Center for Racial Justice in Education
    Equal Justice Initiative
    Health Justice Commons
    Innocence Project
    Know Your Rights Camp
    National Black Child Development Institute
    National Urban League
    The Loveland Foundation

    Off the top of my head, the ‘Innocence Project’ is the only one I’d even consider giving a dime to, though I’m not familiar with all of them.

    • UnCivilServant

      A lot of those sound like bait and switch nonprofits.

    • KibbledKristen

      I already give monthly to the Innocence Project, which is one of the only ones I’ve heard of. Sounds like a lot of grift on that list.

    • Tundra

      Why don’t you suggest the IJ?

      • slumbrew

        Q: I don’t see the charity to which I want to send a donation. Can I recommend a nonprofit to be included on the match site?

        A: We are not accepting suggestions for additional charities to be included at this time.

        The charities were selected by our woke betters.

      • Tundra

        Of course. Stupid of me…

    • Mojeaux

      Innocence Project would be on my short list for charities to give to in case I win the lottery.

      Veterans Community Project
      a couple of soup kitchens in town
      Habitat for Humanity
      Institute for Justice
      Innocence Project

      Then some fine arts programs.

      • slumbrew

        IJ and FIRE are my two go-to charities.

      • Mojeaux

        Yes! I totally forgot about FIRE.

        With the way my husband wins stuff, I probably need to make a list.

      • slumbrew

        FIRE (or, ‘The FIRE’, as they like to use) has loomed in importance in my mind in recent years; I used to be in the “that nonsense on campus doesn’t really matter – wait until they meet the real world” camp, but now it’s clear that they’ve hit critical mass and brought that nonsense _from_ campus to the real world.

      • B.P.

        I wonder if there are a couple of doddering old critical theorist/Marxist retired professors somewhere who have had a conversation along the lines of: “Can you believe the bullshit we used to drone on to each other about at the university now controls the national dialogue in the United States?!”

    • Rhywun

      The Human Fund – “Money for People” – seems to be missing.

      • slumbrew

        We’ve got RSUs for that.

    • invisible finger

      Hopefully they are compiling the list of donators for the next round of layoffs.

      • slumbrew

        I was originally concerned they’d be keeping a list of who _didn’t_ donate.

        I have been cheered by the near universal indifference shown by my co-workers.

      • Fifth Knight of the Derp Table

        ‘There will be no more screaming about daily outrages, as everyone is just going to be chill and maybe listen to some Nirvana while they “do their jobs or whatever.” As for the ideology of the new country, they say any politics are fine as long as “no one gets all worked up about it.”

        This relaxed utopia is already said to be a million times better than the constant shrieking of regular society, the inhabitants themselves describing it as, “Eh, it’s okay.”‘

        Sounds like heaven right about now.

    • Gustave Lytton

      I’ve given in the past to the Innocence Project, but they’re completely woke and pushing the system is inherently racist bullshit. Fuck them, not another cent.

      • cyto

        Oof.

        I have been “all in” on the innocence project for a long time. I’ve been out of touch the last couple of years – my time has been devoted elsewhere. I guess it isn’t surprising that they’d head off in that direction.

        This is why we can’t have nice things.

    • Shpip

      I’m a Shriner, as is my father in law, as was my old man.

      When my mom was a kid (circa 1940), she contracted a serious orthopaedic disease, and spent over a year here, at no cost to my grandparents — who were working five jobs between the two of them to pay the hospital bills before Mom was admitted to the Shriner’s Hospital.

      I’ve already had the trust drawn up. When the missus passes (assuming I go first), the majority of the estate is going to the Shriner’s Hospitals.

      Nothing against the IJ, FIRE, or The Innocence Project.

      • Gustave Lytton

        There’s all the room in the world for more charity. Good on you.

    • Agent Cooper

      Know Your Rights Camp is obviously a summer camp where police learn how to harass and or brutalize minorities.

    • Nephilium

      hotel in 2004

      So… 16 years ago? Why didn’t you complain about it then?

      • Fifth Knight of the Derp Table

        Gravity had yet to work its magic on her and coin was still to be had?

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        Because blood wasn’t in the water then.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    Cherry pickers of the world, unite!

    In boasting about the big job gains in May, June and July, Trump conveniently omits the historic job losses in March and April. So far, the U.S. has recovered less than half of the jobs that disappeared this spring.

    Right. Now tell us, once again, how the rich have only gotten richer (on the backs of the oppressed poors) since mid March. You remember that story, don’t you?

    • Fatty Bolger

      What happened in March and April? I forget.

    • Agent Cooper

      “that disappeared”

      POOF!

    • mexican sharpshooter

      To discern causes for the lower retention rates among veterans, GAO looked at six workplace factors: satisfaction with pay; meaningfulness of work; confidence in leaders; opportunities for advancement; training and development; and relationships with supervisors.

      Other than pay, I can concur.

      Veterans were 2.4% less likely than non-veterans to report being satisfied with the meaningfulness of their work, the report said.

      I can concur with this as well, and note the irony I was working for the Veteran’s Health Administration.

  27. The Late P Brooks

    “What’s going on is the memory of the economy before the pandemic,” says Republican pollster Whit Ayres.

    He believes many Americans are still judging Trump by the economy as it was six months ago, before the coronavirus took hold here.

    “It was rolling,” Ayres recalls. “Unemployment was at historic lows. The economy was in great shape before the pandemic killed it.”

    Presidential approval ratings in general don’t swing up and down as much as they used to. Americans have increasingly sorted themselves into highly polarized camps, reluctant to abandon their own standard-bearer or show even grudging approval for the other side.

    Trump may also be getting a pass on the economy because Americans are more concerned with other problems, including race relations and especially the pandemic itself.

    “People see COVID as the problem and the economy as a symptom,” says Lydia Saad, director of U.S. social research for Gallup. “They’re viewing [the economic downturn] sort of like a hurricane. Something that’s happened. It’s come in. It’s created all sorts of havoc. But it’s going to go away and things are going to get back to normal.”

    Right. The economy just stopped, all on its own, like a fine pocket watch when an anvil fell on it.

    No governors. No public health experts. No criminally wrong models. No pandemic-gaming LARPers.

    • slumbrew

      Precisely this.

      “Don’t those rubes realize we did our best to tank the economy? We’ll relent if they just get rid of the orange man.”

      • Viking1865

        Yeah that was always my thing with the economy being terrible. It’s terrible because of the pandemic and the government response to it. Which by definition, you can’t blame on Trump. It’s the China Virus (check the polls on % of Americans who blame China for this shit), and the lockdowns and social distancing were always painted as THE WAY TO SAVE LIVES.

        So now, in August, the Dems are trying to argue they had some super secret elite COVID plan that would have saved more lives and kept the economy going strong. But they can’t tell you what it is.

      • Fatty Bolger

        The secret plan thing only works if you have a plan to fix things.

    • Mojeaux

      No governors. No public health experts. No criminally wrong models. No pandemic-gaming LARPers.

      This is true.

      But they AREN’T blaming Trump, either.

    • prolefeed

      Right. The economy just stopped, all on its own

      They were quite clear – “the pandemic killed it”. Apparently, solely for the sake of brevity, they decided to use “pandemic” as shorthand for “governors and local officials, overwhelmingly Democratic”.

  28. Count Potato

    “KENOSHA: a man wearing torso knight armor, a home stitched skirt, & a military canteen

    Sweeps up trash with a broom that is on fire right in front of riot police

    I can genuinely say I have no idea what’s going on here though

    Even the police were confused and left him alone”

    https://twitter.com/ElijahSchaffer/status/1298157565268893698

    I’m with the cops on this one.

    • LJW

      That’s it! That’s what the guy in Hyperboles comic strip is doing!

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Some kind of weird political commentary, maybe?

      • slumbrew

        Rule 41

    • Agent Cooper

      Tweet response:

      “Don’t mind me folks. Time Janitor. Got some very volatile pieces of causality-affecting debris here. See how they’re igniting my Chrono-broom? If I didn’t intervene who knows what implications might have for the future.

    • Mojeaux

      I JUST saw that on FB and almost linked it, then got distracted.

    • slumbrew

      No before and after shots?

      I’m calling bullshit as well – if the appraisal went up, it’s just as likely because they cleaned up the place and it showed better.

      • Rhywun

        No before and after shots?

        Thanks for saving me from a click.

      • LJW

        A $135k difference is insane. If true I’d bet it’s a result of error rather than a racist appraiser who is willing to throw away his career over one house.

    • Fifth Knight of the Derp Table

      Yeah, pull the other one.

    • Fatty Bolger

      LOL. Appraisers don’t give a shit about how the house is decorated.

    • prolefeed

      To be fair – when my sister in law was selling her condo, my wife and I convinced her to remove almost all signs that a black family lived there. She kept a few things that a white liberal might have used to show how post-racial they were.

      Not sure that is why is sold quickly and for over the asking price, or if this was just a subcategory of the realtor’s mantra to remove all family pictures so the prospective buyers can more easily envision it being their home.

      In a weird instance of sibling rivalry, the sisters were briefly mad at each other because, at my wife’s suggestion, I cleaned a really dirty set of blinds in the place.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Sales are different than appraisals. When you’re selling a house/condo, you want it as vanilla as possible so people can imagine themselves living in it. Appraisers don’t care about that.

      • Mad Scientist

        They always say to remove personal photos. You want perspective buyers to feel at home, not like they’re in someone else’s home. Also, bake cookies.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Sprinkle cinnamon on a tray and put it in the oven. Old realtors trick.

      • invisible finger

        At what temperature for how long?

      • Fatty Bolger

        Just like if you were baking cookies. 350F for 20-30 minutes.

      • Viking1865

        I’ve heard to also do coffee or vanilla.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Sounds like it’s well under the national average (1.77% according to google).

    • invisible finger

      FILTHY BIKERS CLEANER THAN DIRTY HIPPIES

      • mexican sharpshooter

        When you put it that way…thats as sad as it is awesome.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      So one out of 4,000. Not a big deal really.

  29. Urthona

    Really proud of my home team Mavs for starting this NBA trend of not showing up for games as early as last night.

    • Roland of Gilead

      Damn right I am saying really wildly the media is the enemy?

    • Fatty Bolger

      Dan Rather Is A… Sorry Termite?

      I may not be doing this right.

    • kinnath

      What’s the frequency, kinnath?

    • B.P.

      It’s funny how, when unburdened from the need to pretend to be unbiased journalists, they all bend one way.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Noticed the DNC was watchable straight from Amazon and the RNC? Nope. Maybe it was a contract thing but as ol’ Joe would say….come on man!

      • Ownbestenemy

        Let me fix that…search DNC you get all 4 nights, seaech RNC you get CNN and other shows. Search Republican National and you finally get day 1 and that is it

    • kbolino

      Dan Rather Is A Significant Reason Why The Media Is The Enemy

      Not great, but my best guess. The adjective starting with S is where I’d first guess I got it wrong.

      As to the matter at hand, 122k likes for boosting a conspiracy theory and spreading election-related misinformation. Oh right, Dan Rather is one of the Good People (TM) who can do that.

    • NoDakMat

      Dan Rather Is A Shit-Raking Wanker; The Media Is The Enemy

    • Suthenboy

      Still with the Russia hoax? Unbelievable.

  30. Fifth Knight of the Derp Table

    Damn Right I’m A Syphilidic Retarded Whore The Media Is The Enemy?

    • salted earth

      This is why reading the comments from bottom up is so much fun! 🙂

      • Fifth Knight of the Derp Table

        It helps that I habitually fuck up the threading.

      • Plinker762

        Ha, another upside down reader.

  31. SP

    Brett has surfaced. Mad Scientist gets the credit for going and rousting Brett from the encampment in his favorite underpass.

    You may all stop having thoughts and prayers. Wait. You know what I mean.

    • Mad Scientist

      And he just kept saying, “Dave’s not here, man!”

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      I thought that alligator that he had been doing ‘shrooms with finally hallucinated Brett as a giant turkey leg.

  32. Vacuous

    If I were to start a charity I would name it Liquor For The Destitute. Slogan: If you’re down on your luck, have a drink on us.

  33. Vacuous

    There are many acronyms I have come across here that I didn’t know. So, I make a guess and go with it for months until they are spelled out for me here. Here are some of my favorite wrong guesses.
    QFT quit fucking talking
    YMMV you make me vomit
    CWAA can’t win against authority

    • Roland of Gilead

      How long before you figured out that CWAA really means Chicago Whitesox Are Assholes?

      • invisible finger

        +0 hits

      • Roland of Gilead

        -Pittsburgh Pirates

    • Agent Cooper

      QFT for me now means “Quit fucking talking”

      Well done.

    • commodious spittoon

      Back in the day when I frequented video game forums I thought for the longest time that QFT stood for Quit Fucking Trolling, which made no sense since I only ever saw it in response to imminently reasonable posts.

      • UnCivilServant

        I have no clue what the poster intends, so they just look insane.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Go ahead and deny the crime spree that actually is occurring in medium to large urban areas and is easily verifiable, it’s surely a winning strategy.

    • Fatty Bolger

      “Who ya gonna believe, us or your lying eyes?” – media

    • kbolino

      Now do the Democratic Party’s strategy of frightening non-white voters about getting killed by police.

    • Rhywun

      Now do black voters in the city. You know, where the urban crime wave is happening.

    • Agent Cooper

      New family moved in across diagonally across from us about 2 months ago. He works 2 weeks a month in DC for the gubmint.

      DEMOCRATS FOR TRUMP sign just went up in the front yard.

      Former city cop who I would guess had been reliably blue living directly across from me put up a Trump/Pence sign.

      ??‍♂️

      • Sean

        Awesome.

  34. The Late P Brooks

    But they AREN’T blaming Trump, either.

    That’s what pisses the folks at NPR off.

  35. The Late P Brooks

    How many people who went to Sturgis got syphilis?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Roughly 200,000 would be my guess.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Fewer than acquired ringworm.

    • invisible finger

      VD fights the ‘VID

  36. The Late P Brooks

    Let’s not dilute the sample pool

    The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) now says asymptomatic people no longer need to get tested for the novel coronavirus, a quiet change the federal agency recently made to its online guidelines regarding COVID-19.

    “You do not necessarily need a test unless you are a vulnerable individual or your health care provider or state or local public health officials recommend you take one,” the CDC now recommends.

    The revised guidelines, posted on Monday, say individuals who have been in close contact with an infected person, typically meaning within six feet and for at least 15 minutes, “do not necessarily need a test” if they do not have symptoms. However, the CDC did state that there are exceptions, including “vulnerable” individuals or healthcare professionals where state or local public health officials may advise testing for the virus.

    Don’t want a bunch of negative tests muddying the waters when we have the Most Contagious Plague Ever narrative to push.

    • Rhywun

      Trump got to them.

  37. Suthenboy

    Anyone else notice that if the squirrels eat your comment you cant remember all of it and retyping seems so Sisyphean that you just say ‘fuck it’ and move on?

    • UnCivilServant

      Only after I’ve written (and lost) “The Most Insightful Comment Ever”.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Sometimes I say “fuck it” and don’t bother. But if I do bother to rewrite, it usually turns out better than the original.

    • SP

      I think the reason it got caught in the spam filter was the phrase “hot tub.”

  38. The Late P Brooks

    Dr. Fred Davis, associate chair of emergency medicine at Northwell /Long Island Jewish, in New York, told Fox News: “While the CDC has recommended that those that might have been exposed to someone who tested [positive] for COVID but they themselves are asymptomatic might not need to be tested, there are delicate concerns.

    “We know that someone can be infected and transmitting the virus and it can take 3-5 days after initial infection before they develop symptoms. It is suspected that upwards of 50 percent of transmissions occur during this time,” Davis continued.

    /em>

    Right. It’s either that, or witches.

  39. The Late P Brooks

    Meanwhile, Kullar cautioned that “it is important to get tested if you’ve been exposed to someone, even if asymptomatic, for contact tracing.”

    “I am not sure if these recommendations were based on the labs being overwhelmed or a desire to make the case numbers look better; regardless, I am stunned by these recommendations,” she added.

    The news comes after a World Health Organization (WHO) official in June walked back her statement that spread from asymptomatic patients appeared to be “very rare.” The comments were renounced following criticism from the scientific community, including Dr. Anthony Fauci, the country’s top infectious disease expert, who called the remarks “not correct.”

    Muh NARRATIVE!

    • invisible finger

      “the country’s top infectious disease expert”

      Make sure you get his caste position in there so you have cover for your lazy reporting.

    • Suthenboy

      “Dr. Anthony Fauci, the country’s top infectious disease expert”

      OK, that made me laugh

  40. Agent Cooper

    WHITE courtesy phone?

    So. Much. Hate.

  41. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

    OMG, the emails that come across my desk. “We are moving away from historically offensive technical terminology effective immediately.”

    “Master – slave” is now “conductor – member”
    “blacklist – whitelist” is now “denylist – allow list”
    ‘black hat – white hat ” is now “unethical – ethical”

    • Agent Cooper

      RACISM SOLVED. Go home, everyone! Great job.

      • Sean

        Ribbons for everyone!

    • slumbrew

      “Master – slave” is now “conductor – member”

      GTFO.

      They will remain the “master DNS servers” and “internal slave servers”.

    • B.P.

      “blacklist” is now “cancelled”

    • thepasswordispassword

      Nothing like grepping through all the automation scripts looking for things that trigger off commits to master hoping you didn’t miss anything. It’s like dealing with non-technical folks who use the term “unit test” to mean individual component level functional tests (standalone units of the system).

      • invisible finger

        It makes them look even more racist by pretending they understand what offends people of a race other than their own.

    • kbolino

      Allowlist/denylist are no less ambiguous than whitelist/blacklist and if anything, are less ambiguous, so I don’t care much about this one.

      Master/slave is often a misnomer where leader/follower or primary/secondary would be more appropriate. Though, master alone is usually pretty clear and inoffensive. This one rubs me a bit, more for having to get rid of “master” rather than “slave”. Lots of words can stand opposite to master besides slave; I’ve seen agent and minion in practice, and of course git “master” branch needs no opposite word. Conductor is a stupid choice because there is no natural opposite word; “member” is too broad.

      Black hat/white hat is a very specific piece of jargon that unethical/ethical doesn’t line up with. Not to mention, where does gray hat fit? The color of hat has nothing to do with race.

      All of this, when not driven by technical needs or reducing confusion, is just infantilizing black people in the name of “inclusivity” (remember, exclusivity is inclusivity).

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        master/slave is one ive been avoiding for a while. I have to write with juries in mind, and I don’t want that choice of language prejudicing or confusing them. Leader/follower, controller/??, orchestrator/?? are all constructs I’ve used. usually, I’m describing the election/configuration process for the leader, so the “slaves” are implicitly defined and I don’t actually need to use a term for them.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Dom/Sub

      • Gustave Lytton

        First thing we do is…

      • Plinker762

        overseer / minority

    • Plinker762

      I’ve been working on a diesel engine speed control unit so I’ve been saying advance and retard a lot lately.

    • Chipwooder

      I’m not going to stop listening to Powerslave

  42. Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

    I don’t understand the Dems’ strategy of staying silent on the riots until now. Did they think people would look favorably on the riots? Did they think the media would just keep it covered up (which maybe they could have if they stayed in Portland)? Now it just looks like they are ok with rioting as long unless it hurts Trump, and they’ve painted themselves into a corner. An interesting combination of evil and stupid.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      The Republicans are famous for not seizing the day when they have the opportunity, the Dems are known for vastly overplaying their hand. This is just more of the same and part of the overplaying of that hand is thinking they could ride the Antigua tiger without being eaten.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        And the Antifa tiger too but I don’t blame my iPad for the spell correct on an organization that doesn’t exist.

    • The Hyperbole

      And the fact is that arsonists should be held accountable. People carrying guns shooting should be held accountable. People who engage in criminal activity should and must be held accountable and taken to trial.

      You should never let what’s done in a march for equal rights overcome what the reason for the march is. And that’s what these folks are doing. And they should be arrested, found, arrested, and tried.

      Joe Biden 7/28/2020

      • Chipwooder

        Was that something he actually said, or a statement issued by his campaign?

        I’d also note that’s dated a month ago, and it doesn’t seem to be a statement he’s returned to very much.

      • The Hyperbole

        Transcript from an interview.

        “they were silent til now” , “that clips is a month old” You guys need to get your stories straight.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        You’re being disingenuously pedantic and you know it.

      • The Hyperbole

        Pedantic sure, disingenuous? not so much.

  43. Suthenboy

    A friend from school now works at a lab that is doing research on the commie cooties. I called her up and asked. her why I couldn’t get any solid answers about anything.

    “I cant tell you.”

    “Can you tell me why they are lying about everything to do with this?”

    “I cant tell you”

    OK fine, we chit chatted and caught up a bit. I was raised on a farm so I know what it looks like when someone is shoveling horseshit.

    My guess: The NIH funded the lab in Wuhan. Since research on biological weapons is illegal in the US, NIH, which is Fauci, simply outsourced it to China. In other words we are more responsible than China. I just wonder how much of an accident it was.

    • Suthenboy

      I also wonder who would be stupid and evil enough to develop a virus as a biological weapon. That it would spread worldwide and come back on you is something a retarded ten year old could figure out.

      • invisible finger

        Replace “stupid” with “arrogant” and it explains a lot.

      • Drake

        It took a giant pile of stupidity laced with evil to get us to where we are right now.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I doubt we’d be going after the Chinese so aggressively if that was the case. Just because we partially funded some of that research doesn’t mean we were funding weapons research.

      • cyto

        Yeah, and this is a particularly shitty bio-weapon.

        You want it to incapacitate (but not kill) military age folk.

        The Soviets had the best one I ever heard of. A bacterium engineered to produce myelin. It caused an infection, but not really much in the way of a disease…. but the myelin it produced created an immune response. And then the infected person’s body attacked the myelin sheath of the nerves, causing Multiple Sclerosis.

        So it disables all of your military on the front lines with MS. Then you have to deal with a bunch of severely disabled military forces. You’ll be too busy to wage war.

        Really nasty stuff.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        You’re right, as a bioweapon this one sucks. I never heard of that Soviet one but modifying ebola or anthrax would be where it’s at nowadays.

      • dbleagle

        All WMD have down sides to use. Biological weapons? Time to take effect; accidental too broadcast; accidental infection of own troops/population; bad public perception by third parties.

        Chemical weapons? Relatively narrow range of acceptable temperatures, restrictions on your movement from contamination issues, poor impacts on trained troops with wide impacts on civilians; bad public perception on third parties.

        Nukes? Difficult to use for tactical purposes due to blast effects impacting maneuver, accidental radiation poisoning of own troops attempting to exploit the blast zone, self-EMP of equipment, bad public perceptions by home front or third parties.

        Radiological? See Nukes less EMP and blast effects.

        There is a reason chem weapons since WWI have primarily been used on civilians away from TV cameras. (e.g. Italy in Libya and Ethiopia, Eqypy on Sudan, Iraq on Kurds, Syrian Civil War) NATO was hoping that despite the Soviet doctrine of energetic and widespread chemical weapons use that the 2d order of effects from maiming and killing 100,000s of West Germans with mustard and nerve agents would limit (not eliminate) Soviet use.

        Nukes are even a bigger Pandora’s box. Combine the maiming and killing 2d and 3rd order impacts from chemicals, with destroying your own mobility corridors, and worldwide condemnation might have slowed down Soviet use- especially since the US doctrine was (and remains) we will nuke in return. Accidental killing your own draftee troops by radiation was not a Soviet concern. That is why their “radiation poisoning” pills were amphetamines.

        Bio? That is bad juju all the way around in most cases. If you have a city under a tight siege you might be able to use traditional diseases from ancient times. But if the word gets out you are pretty well toast in world opinion. There are two exceptions which apply to China and Russia. You are too big to care since you have the world’s balls in your pocket because of your place in the economic pecking order (China), and/or you control the internal media enough and you use bio away from the spotlight on a population most of the world doesn’t care about (China and Russia).

        But I think the current panicdemic may increase the chance of bioweapons use. The massive overresponse for the Kung Flu I am sure is being closely examined by the PRC and RF. I can envision Chinese and Russian planners looking and going “If we time the spread of a disease correctly and propagandize it properly we can cause the West to remove themselves from a conflict and have a de facto victory. “

    • Urthona

      It seems doubtful that they could prevent people from leaking information about that.

  44. The Late P Brooks

    Dan Rather Is A Sleazy Retarded Whore?

    • Agent Cooper

      No, he’s Burt Lahr.

  45. The Late P Brooks

    I’m not allowed to call that thing on the bell housing that operates the clutch a “slave cylinder”?

    Okay, then.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The British courts are not friendly to satire .

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Trains and tunnels is awfully cis-hetero of them.

      • Gender Traitor

        Depends on the tunnel.

      • But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

        I’m sure they can lick that problem in record time.

    • Gustave Lytton

      cue offensive or derisive nicknames….

    • Sean

      The head is purple. ?

    • Gender Traitor

      So now he’s on double secret probation?

      • mrfamous

        Considering all of the prohibitions against fun and now this, I think Dean Wormer has an outside chance as Time’s Man of the Year.

  46. KibbledKristen

    My Ma’s friend who made an attempt to get with my Pa when he became a widower, and who likes to discuss…feelings…with me just sent me a DM. I made a bet with myself whether the entirety of the note would be about my Pa with a cursory “how are you?” thrown in. It wasn’t much of a bet, tbh.

    Get the fuck over it, already! Jeezus.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Watching them alienate half their audience is interesting but maybe they can replace them with Han Chinese which is where I believe they think their future lies anyway.

      • Gustave Lytton

        那个请

        I guess the NBA hasn’t watched what happens to everyone else’s IP in China.

      • mrfamous

        +1 non-licensed Lakers Jersey

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Unfuckingbelievable

  47. Gustave Lytton

    Just looked and Bulletproofme is not accepting orders for the rest of the week. And that was on top of previous demand.

  48. Mojeaux

    Random musing. Buridan’s ass caught between food and drink, equally hungry and thirsty.

    I’ve been hungry. I’ve been thirsty. I would rather starve to death than die of thirst.

    • UnCivilServant

      Four minutes without air, four days without water, four weeks without food – average survival times, Or somesuch numbers to that effect. Drink first, then eat.

      • But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

        I’ve always heard it as “The Rule of Threes”: three minutes without air, three days without water, three weeks without food – any one of these will kill you.

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s somewhere on those orders of magnitude, varying by person.

      • Mojeaux

        I had a surgery after which I couldn’t drink anything without puking it back up immediately. I was so thirsty it was surreal. I got hospitalized for that and pumped full of saline and potassium.

      • But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

        D5W. Kept my Mom alive for many weeks after she wanted to die (liver cancer). I learned to hate that stuff, simply because it prolonged her torture.

  49. mrfamous

    I suppose this is just more evidence of what an outlier I am: I’m apparently in the sizable minority who thinks sports is far more important to my life (and frankly the lives of most everyone) than politics. Or at least I’m one of the few to have asked the question and come to that conclusion.

    I guess I can just shrug and try and make the best of things.

    • Mojeaux

      I told Mr. Mojeaux last night that the NFL was uniquely positioned to say, “WuFlu? GTFO. The show must go on.” NOBODY would have shut them down if they’d gone ahead and acted like everything was normal, with the full support of three quarters of the country.

      They could have stopped it.

    • Chipwooder

      I have been a sports fanatic my entire life, all the way to my earliest memories. I’ve grown apathetic very quickly with all of this bullshit. Sports was always my escape. It is no longer an escape, and the people who run these leagues now have made it a vehicle for propaganda. Not interested in being on the receiving end of that.

  50. KibbledKristen

    For National Dog Day, I gave the 17-year-old his last dose of amoxicillin for his wheezy & sneezy. He is still wheezy, though not as bad. I think it’s allergies, not an infection.

    https://pasteboard.co/Joegx9c.jpg

  51. KibbledKristen

    Looking at the Weather Channel right now live from Lake Charles, and the “red sky at night” thing doesn’t seem to be holding up