Dog Park Mafia

by | Aug 3, 2020 | Musings | 270 comments

Dog Park Mafia

*the Dog Park Mafia is a group of people, led my their Mayor, in pursuit of Dog Park Dominance, and exact Tribute in the form of Baggies for Dog Shit, they hate our discs flying in to their Sanctuary, and expect us to Bark on retrieval of our discs, It’s a Parkie Gang War!*

The day begins and I wake up,

To the sound of a whining, barking Pup,

I drink my coffee as she sits and waits, 

For my shoes to jump on my feet and Yay!

 

I jump in the van with my very good friend,

And go to the Doggy place again,

Arrive at the park, leash up and get going,

It doesn’t take long til the peepee is flowing,

 

Hello to my Neighbors, and them to the Mutts,

Enjoying each other, and smelling their Butts,

We watch Eagles hunting, and spy a  young Blonde,

A very nice Brazilian gal, on a three point Bike rides on,

 

Then in sight is the park itself, full of dogs that run and yelp,

the fact that there’s fifteen, certainly doesn’t help,

Onward doggie walks on, for she is free,

and they are in prison, as it probably should be,

 

With the Dog Park Mafia far out of reach,

I think Me and Bella, will go to the Beach,

Enjoy the cool water and have us some Beers,

And swim to the Island, Bella first, Cheers!

Where’s my Island Dad?

 

Exhausted and done, we make our way home,

With treats and a nice cool place to lie down,

Young dogs full of energy, What can one say,

at least they aren’t fat..

About The Author

Yusef drives a Kia

Yusef drives a Kia

Punctually illiterate But never late

270 Comments

  1. TARDIS

    You’re like the anti-SF. I feel hope and joy, instead of fear and revulsion.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      My plan worked then, hope you enjoyed it!

      • TARDIS

        I did, twice.

  2. Sean

    “It doesn’t take long til the peepee is flowing,”

    You or the dog?

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I wait till the beach part,

    • R C Dean

      I had the same question about

      “Enjoying each other, and smelling their Butts,“

      Good stuff, Yufus. I always enjoy hearing what you are up to.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I read that line, and went hmmm, and left it, good catch,

  3. Hyperion

    There ain’t no dog park mafia, that shit is made up.

    Also, WTF was that with the Space X rocket? That thing can’t fly, it looks like a stainless steel milk can. You have to at least put some fins on it or something, them is the rulez!

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      There is, and it does, it already has, and the Park saw a guy go off on another one in the G park, A Glib would have shot him, he was nuts…

      • Hyperion

        I just want to play a round of that space croquet frisbee golf stuff with you, cause I’m totally gonna beat you. And I still say stainless steel milk jugs cannot fly, prove me wrong!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I would enjoy that, once you learn to spin a disc properly, everything you pick up spins, Bottles, plates, small animals….
        Plastic discs work better, but hey, you do you,

      • Hyperion

        “once you learn to spin a disc properly”

        Spinners?

        And I was serious, I really would like to play some rounds of disc golf with you. But relax, I probably won’t start beating you until at least the 3rd game. Hey, what is sport without some good trash talk?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        OK Sally, We’ll get together, any time any course, I too am serious about playing with you, any Ego boost is good,
        Relax, it’s only 110…………

      • Hyperion

        Me too! I would love it, bro! Too bad you’re so far away. Wife and I have plans to get out to Simi Valley, my childhood neighborhood, just not sure when it will be, but I would definitely swing by your area.

        Also, I think you’re a lot younger than me, so you should beat me, but you won’t, lol.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I’m 57 in a few weeks, the old man of the club, but not the park

      • Hyperion

        I’m 60, bro, so I still have the handicap, but I don’t need it, I’m a beat your fair and square! But only if you agree to gang up with me and show the the chillins a lesson!

      • Fourscore

        So, a ringer shows up, loses a couple rounds, suggests a small wager, “to make it interesting”

        Next you’ll need Yusef to teach you how to play poker. Always starts out as funsies, until the beer starts to
        flow, need “to make it interesting”

        I remember those guys from the army…

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Buck Compton, Band of Brothers, great scene!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        It already flew, YT has it, enact some labor,

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      “every time a bell rings an angel gets its wings a rocket gets its fins”

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Every time they fire that engine off at Boca whatever Texas, the dust cloud is Yuge!
        they needs some Janitors with brooms…..

      • Hyperion

        Shovel ready, $15 an hour.

      • hayeksplosives

        “Shovel ready”

        Another ridiculous statement from Obama that shows how little he knows about non Columbia educated jobs.

      • pan fried wylie

        Is that dust or steam? Important for the brooms, might have to use a steam cleaner instead.

      • The Hyperbole

        They’ll need at least seven mops, seven maids, and half a year.

  4. hayeksplosives

    Doggos give us a good perspective on live.

    Thanks, Yusef. And of course, Bella.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      /Takes a humble Bow, Bella takes a nap,

      • Fourscore

        Good to hear things are kind of smoothing out, Yusef. Time has a way of helping, usually. Bella gets it.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I’m tired of being tired, Depression, and all the crap can drag on oneself, I’m back on my routine and feeling more positive about life,
        even if it all goes up in flames…..

      • Hyperion

        Just try to stay positive, at least you’re in an area that is away from large metro areas, which is about the best situation you can be in today.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I’m doing just that, started Census training, and have a bunch of Service calls, all of a sudden I’m swamped, too busy invoicing to worry about much. Leaving SoCal was the best move I ever made, the entire scene was wearing me out, here, i can drive 30 miles an hour, the speed limit, and never be late, so relaxing.

      • Hyperion

        Yeah, it sounds good, peace of mind is good medicine.

        We’re getting ready to leave MD. The only 3 states we are currently looking at is SC, TN, and AZ. I think AZ is
        a little more expensive.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Depends on where, and your Job/money scene, Kingman is very nice, right outside of town on the mountainside for example

      • Hyperion

        “Depends on where, and your Job/money scene”

        I WFH, so internet is the most important thing for me.

  5. Yusef drives a Kia

    Took the dog for a ride this afternoon, drive thru Bank? Puppy treat!
    Drive thru Liquor store? Puppy treat!
    She loves going for rides,

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I always loved Ginger Spice, so Red, just the right Thicc,

    • westernsloper

      HA!!!

    • hayeksplosives

      It helps if the password is “Password”—oh wait, that was Podesta.

    • Rebel Scum

      Would.

  6. cyto

    I hopped over to the Lab Padre feed on the SpaceX Boca Chica test

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5QbM7Vsz3kg

    We are living in an amazing time. They started talking about how much easier it would be to tell what is going on with the test if they had a thermal camera. With over 30,000 watching, donations started rolling in…. and within minutes they think they are going to have enough money to buy a very expensive FLIR system.

    Not that long ago the stuff that Lab Padre, Everyday Astronaut and NASA Spaceflight are able to live stream would have been the realm of just a very few national intelligence agencies. Now, a group of nerds just puts it together and random people sponsor it.

    Sometimes it is hard to even notice how much the world has changed.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Tell that to Hype, he thinks we are joking!

    • Fourscore

      Why does something so trivial need a law? Just not take Covids to nursing homes or drop them off in the parking lot. Someone has to be responsible.

  7. pistoffnick

    I saw a guy reduce a woman to tears at the dog park. Her Golden Retriever played just fine with my* Golden Retriever. But her Golden did not like his Golden and let them both know.

    Dude, it’s a dog park. They are dogs. They’ll sort it out. Maybe a little fur will fly…but it all works out in the end.

    I haven’t seen her again. I’ve seen him, but I refuse to talk with him.

    I heard the two lesbians with the white pit bull call their parents to tell them that they were pregnant.

    I heard the Gypsy-looking lady break up with her boyfriend while they walked their black lab around the dog park.

    Dog Park Drama! It should be a TV show in the same vein as Trailer Park Boys.

    *actually, my wife’s dog, especially when it shits on the basement floor.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      DPM is a real thing, the act like they own the entire area ARound the the park, and the guy who went off today? I looked around, people 100 yards away are wondering if they should call the PD. all over a little nipping, fools with no lives………….

    • Fourscore

      Sure glad I don’t have a dog, would have to see other people and be civil.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Bella won’t go into the Dog Park, she is a Free, Civilized Dog, Leashed because other people are stupid,

    • hayeksplosives

      two lesbians with the white pit bull

      Sounds like something from Portlandia.

      • CPRM

        Because the head of no other tribal system in the rest of the history of the world was called a chief.

      • Count Potato

        “c. 1300, “head, leader, captain; the principal or most important part of anything;” from Old French chief “leader, ruler, head” of something, “capital city” (10c., Modern French chef), from Vulgar Latin *capum, from Latin caput “head,” also “leader, chief person; summit; capital city” (from PIE root *kaput- “head”). Meaning “head of a clan” is from 1570s; later extended to headmen of Native American tribes (by 1713; William Penn, 1680s, called them kings). Commander-in-chief is attested from 1660s.”

    • westernsloper

      I can honestly say I have never been to a dog park. It sounds horrible. Granted my last dog died early 2000’s but even then I had a yard, we had lakes, we had open spaces where he could run. Dog parks sound no fun.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        they have, obstacles and water, etc. and you can run them without a leash, I’ll only do that on private property with B,

      • pistoffnick

        Our dog has lots of energy. If she finds a friend at the dog park to roughhouse with for 30-60 minutes, it makes the rest of the evening more enjoyable.
        Dogs are social creatures. Me, not so much.

    • Digby and the Wonder Llama

      Dog Park Drama! It should be a TV show in the same vein as Trailer Park Boys.

      This, this, THIS!!!

      Somebody–make it happen!

  8. westernsloper

    Needs moar Nantucket.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Finally!
      So Bella and I just said Fuck It,

      • westernsloper

        ?

    • westernsloper

      My new goal is to say, “I’m Jesus Christ you tool, my profession is to save the world from god damn assholes like yourself!!!!” during an interaction with another human being. That guy is inspiring.

    • hayeksplosives

      Martin Luther King Jr would be so proud that decades after his “I Have a Dream” speech, African Americans are now going to great pains to judge people by the color of their skin.

      Separate Student Unions, separate dorms, struggle sessions, etc.

      • westernsloper

        STFU racist!

    • Drake

      Awesome – telling an actual Nigerian she isn’t black…

    • Rebel Scum

      “You’re not black on the inside!”

      We’re all black when the lights go out.

      But that was as funny as this.

      • hayeksplosives

        Guffaw

  9. Count Potato

    “A Racial Disparity I’m proud to be apart of…

    African Americans overwhelmingly underperform in the area of:

    Human Trafficking
    Sex Trafficking
    Pedophilia
    Ritualistic Child Torture
    Perversion
    Human Sacrifice/Murder

    …than the Jewish cabal @maxkellerman
    said don’t exist.”

    https://twitter.com/2LarryJohnson7/status/1289907518836215810

    • Drake

      African Africans on the other hand, sold all the slaves that were brought to America.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Yeah, but it was the Evil White British who abolished slavery in their great Evil Empire!

      • Rebel Scum

        sold all the slaves

        While wearing Kent cloths…

        Evil White British who abolished slavery

        And used their Navy to fight the slave trade. But we aren’t supposed to talk about that.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Shhhhh, white man bad…..

      • R C Dean

        They don’t underperform when it comes to murder.

      • pan fried wylie

        *Cisafricans

        Shitlord.

    • hayeksplosives

      Holy moly.

      How is that acceptable, particularly during “social media scoring”? Did Joos lose the minority lottery?

      “Congratulations! Not only do you get the Holocaust, but less than a century later, public figures will spew anti Semitic BS, including but not limited to Protocols of the Elders of Zion.”

      • Chafed

        Short answer: yes.

    • pan fried wylie

      I had to fold out the list, correct ‘than’ to ‘that’, and if I follow, he’s saying this one-man cabal doubts the credibility of that list?

      C’mon. And who’s supposedly the best at all these things?

      (The answer we were looking for was: The Asians. fucking overachievers.)

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        But which ones? I heard the Nipponese are crafty…

      • pan fried wylie

        I’d put my money on the Siamese or the Burmese.

    • Digby and the Wonder Llama

      Larry has, apparently, never heard of Africa, or, any of its nations.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      1 minute, that was enough,

  10. grrizzly

    Will this finally end the mask debate?

    Danger of face masks! Are masks always good? ?
    A young cat of the Don Sphynx breed ate a medical mask in the morning. ?In literally three hours, our vets Lyudmila Pushchina and Dmitry Yakin (after confirming the presence of a foreign body in the stomach with an X-ray) successfully removed the medical mask using an endoscope!

    • hayeksplosives

      Fake russyan bots..:

  11. pistoffnick

    The most mortifying experience I think I have ever had was at an illegal dog park at the river below Fort Snelling in Minneapolis. Everybody let their dogs run leash free there. I took “Barney”, a Chesapeake Bay Retriever, down to the river and and , after seeing no dog catchers or city police around, let him off leash. He immediately headed for the nice family having a picnic in the sand. He lifted his leg, and peed on the father’s back.

    The guy was gracious. I said I was very sorry and offered him my shirt. He laughed it off like it was no big deal. I put Barney on a leash and we went home for the rest of the day.

    • hayeksplosives

      I don’t think there’s a Miss Manners advice column for that.

      Sounds horribly embarrassing for you, but I bet the family gets a lot of yuks telling the story.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        I don’t think there’s a Miss Manners advice column for that.

        LOL!

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Reason #2 Bella stays on the leash, she loves little kids, so they get knocked over, and parents are understandably upset

    • westernsloper

      You reignited a brain synapses I had buried from 1987. I took my doublewidemates high strung dalmatian to the beach while he was busy because he asked me to. His dog promptly pissed on a ladies beach bag next to her beach chair. She was not happy. We promptly left the beach. My last dog was very cool off leash. He did like socializing but it was more with people than other dogs. He was a Golden Lab mix. Over a hundred pounds of red haired joy. The nicest dog I have ever known. He had to go say hi to all people he saw but never jumping or knocking over, just tail wags and “Hi how ya doing”.

    • cyto

      I cannot believe there is a need for dog Parks in Duluth. You are never more than 10 minutes from the middle of nowhere in Duluth.

      That being said, when we were up there last month we had a birthday party at Billings Park in Superior. They had a leash law. We had our little dog on a leash some, but mostly the 4 dogs at the party ran free. Most people walking their dogs in the park went sans leash.

  12. Rebel Scum

    Not much to report on the storm front right now. Had a line of decent thunderstorms move through earlier, and pretty much steady rain since then. But we aren’t supposed to get the brunt of it until 4am through 9am (according to the Weather Channel). I suppose I might be going in to the office a little late tomorrow because I am not going to drive in 50mph wind gusts, assuming that materializes.

    • hayeksplosives

      Good luck!

      Wouldn’t they cut you some slack for working for home due to hurricane?

      • Rebel Scum

        Thanks. I don’t expect it to do much. But if I am awoken by windy terror outside I’ll report back.

        Even though they went to work-from-home for a good portion of the China-plague* they have gotten away from that now. At most I’d have to take a half day off, assuming no damage is done on or around my property. Tornadoes are a concern** in this scenario, but that is still unlikely. I think the worst is some debris in the yard, maybe a few larger branches and power loss for a few hours in the morning. More concerned for Glib peeps in the NC area. Florence hit the same area 2 years ago. Btw I was skimming through and saw that you were not feeling well. Have you gotten better?

        *Trump used this term earlier and it was fucking hilarious.

        **When the remnants of Florence last year were trailing through this area a couple tornadoes touched down in my neck of the woods, killed one person while tearing through a commercial area. Bad luck is bad, unfortunately.

      • Rebel Scum

        last year

        2 years ago…

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      50 MPH gusts? I disc golf in that shit,
      Really, I do, if you wanna play in BhC,

    • robc

      Nothing happened here but rain. But its a hurricane again as its passing Myrtle Beach. Watch out any NC coastal glibs, looks like landfall is about Wilmington.

    • The Bearded Hobbit

      Mentioned before about the winds in the Azores. We had 100+MPH winds occasionally in the winter. A hurricane came through with 80MPH winds. We laughed.

      • cyto

        yeah, in hurricane country everything is built to handle wind, including the plants. So even a cat 2 storm doesn’t get much concern. I don’t put the shutters down for tropical storm or low cat 1.

        Get up much above 100 and it starts getting real. 120 mph winds in Wilma were no joke. It sheared off the top 2 feet of a power pole next to my house. Something hit it and cut it just below the power line mounts. Imagine the force required to cut a telephone pole in one blow, 2 feet from the top without knocking the pole over or splintering it. Really amazing.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        The weather guys said something like “around 120MPH the equipment leaves the ground”.

      • westernsloper

        That sounds like when I moved from the Keys to Washington State. Shit got serious when a tropical storm or class 1 hurricane rolled through FL. The Fisherman in WA just added another spring line to their boat and went to the bar when the winds were the same. It was barely a conversation topic.

      • cyto

        In the keys a 2 foot storm surge means half the island is under water. 5 feet might wipe half the island away.

        Plus.. in the tropics it can go from cat 1 to cat 3 in a couple of hours. And then you have 6 hours or 10 hours of sustained 100mp wind with gusts up around 140.

        Thunderstorm and hurricane are not the same thing. Hurricane has dozens of lines of thunderstorms in it.

      • Rebel Scum

        sustained 100mp

        Not to discount the severity of such situations and to provide context, “sustained” means “maximum 1 minute sustained”, which is a prolonged gust. That said, a lot of damage can be done in a 60 second 100 mph gust.

        In another life I was a meteorologist.

      • cyto

        Sustained for me means that during Wilma it was 90mph all night and all day, no breaks. Then we were in the eye. Then the eye wall collapsed and consolidated. 120mph winds for 10 minutes or so. Then another several hours of 90 mph winds from the opposite direction.

        Nothing like microbursts in a thunderstorm…. which can also be no joke.

      • westernsloper

        Ya ya ya…The elevation of Westport Washington is 23 ft. Key West 18 ft. Sure 5′ is 5′ but it was not the same. I am talking about attitude. It was different. The North West Pacific seemed to blow over tropical storm all fucking winter and never stopped raining and it was cold af. And I aint even talking Alaska or BC here. It gets worse up there. It is not tropical low pressure systems rolling through there full of thunderstorms it is massive cold fronts with endless winds that just hammer them. I have been offshore towing some dragger whose engine died in that shit and I will take pulling in a Gulf side shrimper in a cat 1 hurricane any day. Did that too.

  13. Ownbestenemy

    Opening line from my kids school

    “When history tells the story of 2020, it will be a sobering one. It will include stories about teachers on the frontlines of educational justice tirelessly working to ensure that our voiceless have a fighting chance.”

    Excuse the french, but what the fucking sam hell is that.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Get your kid out, now, if stuck, tell them to work the minimum, and teach them at home, that sentence was gibberish, I know I write fluent gibberish, seriously

      • Q Continuum

        I’m with Yusef. If you have charter schools, do that. If you can afford it, go private. If you have the time, homeschool. Get out of government schools.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      “sobering” like they were drunk before?
      “stories” i can tell stories, doesn’t make them true
      “frontlines” now we are warmongers?
      “tirelessly working” at collecting a paycheck sitting on your whiny ass?

    • LJW

      When we look back at 2020 we’ll see that teachers bitched and moaned more than any one while providing nothing.

    • Rhywun

      Straight-up propaganda.

      • Rebel Scum

        ^

      • Chafed

        Entirely this.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        CHAFED!

    • straffinrun

      *Raises hand*

      Will it be sobering if your nonsense drives us all to alcoholism?

      • Chafed

        Or violence

    • Digby and the Wonder Llama

      Excuse the french, but what the fucking sam hell is that.

      Self-congratulatory hubris.

      You know–bullshit.

    • one true athena

      “I am so awesome. See how awesome I am? I’m pretending I support people who don’t have my job security, benefits, and pension, while I screw over all their kids in pursuit of an ideology that will cause mass starvation and bring justice to absolutely no one. But since I know I’ll be in the leadership cadre and get to tell all you “voiceless” what to do, I’m okay with that.”

      • Fourscore

        Nice, so you’re a deer hunter, too

      • Hyperion

        I thought that all American cars came with those standard? /Eurotard

    • Digby and the Wonder Llama

      That guy, and many of his “supporters”, are quite the Nancys….Nancies? Emasculated.

      There.

  14. straffinrun

    Nice. Don’t remember ever seeing a dog park until around 15 years ago.

    • UnCivilServant

      Because people just had their dogs poop on the lawns of neighbors they didn’t like.

  15. hayeksplosives

    Based on an earlier thread, I looked up “worst cities in America to live as an African American.

    https://247wallst.com/special-report/2018/11/09/the-worst-cities-for-black-americans-4/2/

    As with all “best/worst” lists, the key is how they are ranked. All the issues are laid at the feet of “urban” policies.

    The article doesn’t mention which party initiated and maintains those policies.

    • Rhywun

      I love how my hometown is dinged for not having “enough” white people in the schools.

      /ignores the rest of that steaming pile

    • straffinrun

      Damn, this shit has to stop. Whatever their intentions are, people writing that kind of pseudo scientific crap are setting the table for future bloodshed. “It can’t happen here!” Oh, yes it can.

      • hayeksplosives

        Yep, fraid so.

        I think some who jumped on the social justice train years ago were pretty confident that no change will occur, hence the blase use of “They wanna put you in chains!”

        They recruited crazy people to bolster their apparent numbers, and now the lunatics are running the asylum.

        “It wasn’t supposed to be like this! I was supposed to hashtag everything and just retreat to my suburbs!!”

      • straffinrun

        Crazy AND the criminal class. Violent criminals/psychopaths have been having a field day.

      • Gustave Lytton

        “Segregated” solely due to now long outlawed practices. And the opposite gets crucified as gentrification or pushing out blacks.

        It’s only a matter of time before race based clubs, groups, dorms, and the like progress to reservation like race enclaves.

  16. straffinrun

    Add my lower back to the list of Covid victims. My fault for not making up for the lost exercise due to working at home (averaged 20km/day commuting to work). Time to head to the old bone setter.

  17. Digby and the Wonder Llama

    Something of a ‘dog’ at my job–

    You remember To Catch A Predator? Remember the yuuuuuge controversy of the sting they did here in Texas, where a local prosecutor was one of the participants? kilt hisself, with NBC cameras right outside his house?

    Weeeeeel, the police chief of that li’l ol’ town of Murphy (during this whole ‘kerfuffle’) is now an officer with my agency. Uh-huh. Murphy is a part of this county–not that that necessarily has anything to do with him working here. Just an interesting fact that Murphy is about 5 minutes south of me right now.

    How the hell he got hired, I will never know. My former Chief must have hired him, but, he left back in mid-Winter. As I understand it, this guy actually convinced their city manager to reach out to NBC to get TCAP out there, even though there was no indication they had a pedo problem. It may even be that this guy reached out and then got approval–either way, he was king of the shit heap when this happened.

    Gotta love that Lone Star law enforcement.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I have no idea what you just said, but, Yippee?

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        Nah–I don’t think you (or, anyone else with a functional brain and morality) would want to work a guy like him. Fortunately, I haven’t met him yet. Not looking forward to it, either.

        Word around the campfire here is that he is planning on going for a Lieutenant’s spot ASAP, and seems to feel like he’s entitled to it. I guess we’ll see.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        work around*

    • Gustave Lytton

      I remember, because someone wrote a blurb a bit back.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        Maybe that’s why they hired him…..

        Also, you are the only one (so, kudos?)

      • Gustave Lytton

        I think it stuck in my head because it seemed so strange that TCAP ended all of a sudden instead of lingering for years like America’s Most Wanted or Dateline NBC.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        Well, to be fair, it WAS Dateline…they kicked Chris’s ass to the curb when he started fooling around with a….reporter (?) from some NBS affiliate.

        Smoke show, that one.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I’m hitting every branch on the tree on the way down. I had it in my mind that TCAP was a stand-alone show, different from Dateline’s endless crime storytelling.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        You aren’t all wrong on it, though–Hansen did try to make it a stand-alone thing. He’s been trying to ride that dying wave for over a decade.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Hmm, I missed that. I’m surprised I never heard about that, despite living in Murphy for 3 years. In some ways it doesn’t shock me. Murphy has a bit of little brother syndrome, especially the cops. It couldn’t have been much more of a speck on the map in 2006. Most of the houses in the area were built 2011 and later.

        Twas a nice enough place, but the city encroached on it while we lived there, and it feels like an overcrowded suburb today.

    • Chafed

      I admire those parents.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        Very much so. Then again, they had to have that happen in order to shine like this.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Darn it! I was going to make a Kid n Play comeback attempt with House Party III joke!

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        The Third one….oy vey.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Oh shit! I missed/forgot there was a third one already. I’m changing my answer to House Party IV.

  18. Yusef drives a Kia

    Allowable Census Question, Yes, we are nuts for privacy, and go out or our way NOT to gather personal information, right sown to, Resident X, and resident Y,
    We need to know how many, that’s it, everything else is gravy,

  19. Yusef drives a Kia

    Allowable Census Question, #2
    No, we don’t have to count Cannibals, unless they occupied the residence on April 1st 2020, even if they were eating your brains, You, and all of them must be counted,

    • Digby and the Wonder Llama

      April 1st? Well, there goes that prank…

      I tells ya–you try to prank someone with cannibalism, and comes back and bites you in the ass.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        We won’t finish this year, ohh shit your not supposed to……….
        /Zapped by Dog collar

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Frogs and Scorpions, every time,

    • Digby and the Wonder Llama

      The mentally weak voting for same.

      • straffinrun

        Ignorance is bliss.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Trust no one

    • KSuellington

      Hahaha! It’s on now. The full court media press to not hold the debates (or to have them held virtually so Joe can participate with a teleprompter).

      Also, fuck Bill Kristol. What a shitbag.

      • Brochettaward

        The talking point about no debates unless Trump releases his tax returns also seems to have taken a pretty firm hold.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        “By Gawd–we’ll get him this time!!

      • KSuellington

        I haven’t heard that one yet. I’ve been predicting for a few months that they will try absolutely everything they can to not hold debates. No way they want a series of live, in person debates with the chance of Joe having a full on dementia moment that they can’t explain away. Live debates won’t happen this year.

    • Grosspatzer

      That is comedy gold. Maybe he’s auditioning to host the Oscars again.

  20. Yusef drives a Kia

    Better Read than dead,
    Hayek

    • KSuellington

      Reed [the victim] said, “My sophomore year of high school I was arrested for attending a basketball game because I didn’t have my ID. I sat in a police station for six hours. I knew it wasn’t right at all, but inside I was angry, confused.”

      Of course, as we all know here, this is the tragedy of this shitty moment. Instead of any real push to reform American policing we get leftist bullshit that will make the above situation not much less likely to happen while making the kid’s murder more likely to happen.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I was arrested for attending a basketball game because I didn’t have my ID

        Bull. Fucking. Shit. There’s more to it than just not having id on him.

      • KSuellington

        Quite likely. Probably highly unlikely because he was black. A fair chance it was due to something fairly innocuous and then him getting mouthy when asked for an ID. It doesn’t mention any crime charged and he could certainly be omitting that. But cops fucking with teens for small ass shit is common across the country. It happened to me. I had a 12 gauge put to my head at 16 by a cop.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        KS is correct here–it’s not all that uncommon to have SRO’s/regular cops screw with teens, and can be highly dependent on where it takes place. But, I, too, doubt it was simply for the ID issue. It probably started off there, and he tried to reduce it down to just that, or, hide the “worse” stuff.

        Or, he simply caught an asshole, as occurs.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I didn’t get a 12 gauge or anything like it, but young me would have said the cops were harassing me. Older me says no shit, HS kid walking around past curfew, riding a bike without lights, or making illegal drunk like lane changes and turn when bars are emptying had everything to do with my own actions.

      • KSuellington

        The 12 gauge was for playing paintball in a wooded canyon with friends. I think it was a cast overreaction although I know what the cops rationale would be. They also stole our paintball guns and never bothered writing us any court summons. I got pulled over constantly, not cause I was black, but that I drove a hoopty ass ghetto ride. I don’t recall ever getting a ticket as I wasn’t doing anything illegal. They just wanted to see. Now, if I wasn’t respectful and deferential I could have seen a similar treatment to that kid, I have little doubt.

  21. Yusef drives a Kia

    I all of a sudden have a lot of work, gotta run! thanks and
    Pet Your Dog!

  22. cyto

    my brother is a lawyer. He says he just watched a copy of the full floyd arrest.

    Get ready for Armageddon. He says the guy was high out of his mind. Definitely not guilty is in the cards.

    • Digby and the Wonder Llama

      I think they need to add whatever ‘depraved indifference’ charge they can, as it seems like that did happen (from what I’ve seen/read). Enough to get the guy into prison and out of LE.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Was that just rumor before, because it seems like that has been circulating since just shortly after the video first surfaced.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        I do think the toxicology reports say he had illegal shit in his system at death. The video show him to be pretty emotionally unstable from the get-go.

        Would he have died were it not for the officers’ actions? I kinda doubt it, but, who could know that with any certainty? He might have tried to continue passing that bill at other places, constantly looking over his shoulder for the cops (who were definitely looking for him). That might have sparked a heart attack, or, something.

        Then agian, he might have just gone home and tried to ride out his need for whatever he was on.

    • salted earth

      I need to learn how to do that. Do you think that that is a difficult technique to master?

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        Are you left-handed? That might be the first hurdle. After that; well….

      • salted earth

        umm…not left-handed, very right dominate. My left arm is weak and uncoordinated. Now I am sad and ashamed of my weakness.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        Well, that’s the first step…? ✊

        (I was being facetious, btw). Those nerve clusters are on both sides, so, you should be good training your right.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        The more I watch, the less I can rally make out…I can’t tell if it’s open-palm, or fist (that’s what she….never mind)

        It would seem (to me) that he’s hitting a nerve cluster there on the jaw. Whatever he’s doing, it’s effective against two people (so, not necessarily someone with a glass jaw).

        Boxers can take a loong time to be able to do that. You prepared to spend lots of time training to hit a particular spot on the face?

      • salted earth

        I just need to recruit a sparring partner.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        Be careful what you wish for, or, where you advertise that. Plenty of perverts around (ahem)….

    • Gustave Lytton

      Nice how the guys put the ko’s in the recovery position afterwards.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        For a price.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Just part of the service! Hate to come to and have a sore leg because you laying on your wallet or cell phone.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        LOL!

  23. Gustave Lytton

    Seeing Pretty Maids All in a Row (written and produced by Gene Roddenberry) for the first time. Suddenly the short skirt uniforms in TOS and Troi’s outfits seem like more than just flashing some skin.

    • Digby and the Wonder Llama

      Music by Lalo Schifrin and performed by the Osmonds.

      0_o

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        Also directed by Barbarella’s ex (and director of such).

        Man, I tell ya…1971.

        ::whistles off down the road::

  24. Digby and the Wonder Llama
    • salted earth

      I’m not sure how to even solve the problem. The PPP or stimulus seems like a bandaid for a bullet hole. Either people are genuinely afraid of the virus and won’t eat out in the “old normal way” or people are afraid to step out of the line of the government to open their business (and patronize business). I’m not sure how any business can survive when you have the same costs but can only accommodate half your customers.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Just cut costs to fit revenue.. plenty of margin in restaurants… *consults notes* …they’re fucked.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        There is a third issue–most restaurants are running a limited menu upon re-opening. At least, they are in my area. It makes it far less “worth it” to go out–especially when you only like a very small number of items, and they are virtually all gone.

        But, your points both seem to be in play.

      • Chafed

        The solution is to let them reopen.

      • KSuellington

        Dammit Chafed, that so simple it might just work!

        Seriously, it is beyond fucked that state governments have declared entire industries pretty much verbotten.

      • salted earth

        It may be fear of liability, but some companies/businesses have not done themselves any favors by the steps they have taken.

      • grrizzly

        Both people and businesses are too obedient and risk-averse. The governments are imposing popular restrictions.

      • salted earth

        I am still perplexed as to why churches have tolerated being shut down.

      • salted earth

        I am still perplexed as to why churches have tolerated being shut down.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        Catholic AND Protestant, apparently.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I think they recognize they exist on sufferance at this point. An expansive freedom of religion is dead and organized religion as official/unofficial state religion has also passed. The public is largely unchurched, and many that are are more social or cultural rather than strong adherents and worshippers. No in person service? No problem, catch it on Facebook or zoom. Formerly C&E Catholics don’t even make that effort.

        (In fairness, I’m one of those.)

      • salted earth

        That makes sense. First, people were okay with wearing shorts to church now they are okay with wearing pajamas.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        public is largely unchurched, and many that are are more social or cultural rather than strong adherents and worshippers.

        Eh, I don’t find that to be true in my area. Not that it doesn’t happen–I just don’t see it as much around me. I don’t have a local church that I attend (and, my schedule isn’t exactly conducive for it), but, it’s not due to disbelief or anything like that.

      • salted earth

        I have difficulty gauging peoples’ level of fear over the virus. I am not the type of person who likes to “go out” and I avoid large groups. I don’t think I have a baseline for predicting behavior.

      • Plinker762

        At the two restaurants I go to a lot locally, I see very few people the seem very concerned.

      • salted earth

        “Restaurants” seems a bit vague, do these restaurants you frequent have names? What days and times can you be found at these locations?

        How was your drive?

      • Plinker762

        You’re going to have to work harder on your stalking than that.

        Drive was good except for stupid Oregon and it’s low speed limits.

      • salted earth

        Dude…I have your name!

        I thought you liked things with an edge, and now you tell me that you are driving the speed limit.

      • Plinker762

        Oh I was speeding alright.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        stupid Oregon

        Analysis: True

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        do these restaurants you frequent have names?

        Uh, Phil……Kevin…..I think one may go by Lamont.

      • salted earth

        I still see some people wearing gloves, people using their shirts over their hands to open doors, and parents “forcing” their kids to use hand sanitizer (and saying “don’t touch anything”). But, I guess, that is a minority of people and not the majority.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        Oh, so you’re an ‘innie’, not an ‘outie’.

      • salted earth

        hermit-ess
        hermit-ette

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        Hermit-ess seems a bit more fun to say. I’ll vote for it.

        You get the “tet” sound on the other, and that just brings up bad ‘Nam feelings…

      • KSuellington

        If governments had not shut down restaurant, bars and small retail I have no doubt there would have been a decrease in business for them, but it would have been a fraction of what the shutdowns caused. The mandates are the fucked up part. I don’t have much problem with the government telling people to wash their hands and take extra sanitary precautions and if you happen to be in a risk group to use extreme caution.

      • Gustave Lytton

        That’s been my feeling from the start. Recession vs depression.

      • Plinker762

        Travel was already dropping before the shutdowns. People were self-adjusting their behavior.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        Oh, this is bullshit!! Everyone knows that things don’t happen; people don’t do anything, until government decrees it!!

        Stop spreading your lies, you liar!

    • Chafed

      Apparently so.

    • Digby and the Wonder Llama

      No jobs are essential, until ALL jobs are essential!!

    • Sean

      We hit the same steakhouse the past two weekends. They should have been packed, but they were not. ?

      The prime rib was good. https://primestkhouse.com

      Interesting to see both times that there was “high risk” old people also dining out.

  25. Sean

    You know that kind of morning where you’re not sure where your underwear went?

    Yeah, it’s that kind of morning. ?

    • JD is in the United Karendom

      Nice. What’s his name?

      *apple kid meme*

    • Digby and the Wonder Llama

      Sean-
      You being in PA, am I recalling correctly that Philly is (especially) known for its public employee graft? Even at the entry level positions?
      And, of course I’m taking into consideration SLD about any/all government.

      • Sean

        “public employee graft”

        It’s the same (AFAIK) as any large Dem controlled stronghold. Rampant and blatant.

      • Digby and the Wonder Llama

        Fair enough. W/o going into details, I have exposure to a former Philly employee. I have a feeling it has shaped their work ethic in certain ways.

    • Gender Traitor

      For one brief shining moment when the alarm went off a little while ago, I thought, “Oh, it’s Saturday and I forgot to turn the alarm off.”

      • UnCivilServant

        Are we sure it isn’t?

        /wishful thinking.

      • Gender Traitor

        I suppose it’s possible – wormhole maybe? – but yesterday was definitely a Monday. It was the Mondayest of Mondays. Today HAS to be better, right??

      • UnCivilServant

        *shrug*

        I need to wake up before I can parse the possibility.

      • Gender Traitor

        Don’t do it! It’s a trap!

        At best, it’s highly overrated.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      They’ve had a terrible reputation for decades.

  26. UnCivilServant

    Morning, Glibs.

    Don’t know how strong the storm is, but the hurricane track has more or less centered right over my house.

    • Gender Traitor

      Ruh roh! What’s the latest ETA?

      • TARDIS

        Night time tropical storms are scary. Where are you? The storm is supposed to be over Philly/NJ at 2pm.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m in the New York State capital district.

    • Sean

      Morning.

      It was rainy AF this morning on my drive in.

      I sorted out a bunch of change I to wrap this weekend, including a lot of quarters.

      Which state were you still looking for UCS?

      • Sean

        *I’m going to

        Sheesh.

      • UnCivilServant

        I think my phrasing was mininterpreted. I only hoard montana quarters because official coinage with a skull on it amuses me.

      • Sean

        Ah, ok.

      • Gender Traitor

        ::looks up Montana quarter:: OK, but human skull or GTFO.

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s the best I’ve got these days.

        The human skulls show up on unofficial silver rounds, often in the cringiest designs.

      • Sean

        The human skulls show up on unofficial silver rounds, often in the cringiest designs.

        For example.

      • TARDIS

        I caught a heavy rain band on the way home yesterday. Had to drive 35-40 mph for like 20 miles. It was like boating on the interstate. I’ve never seen so many hazard lights flashing.

    • leon

      Lots of opinions about this, even though we are seeing downturns in new cases. As far as I’m concerned, this is 100% politically motivated.

    • Gender Traitor

      From the caption of the photo at top:

      Members of the Somerset County Education Association (SCEA), in conjunction with NJ21 United, a grassroots education advocacy group and educators gather on Thursday to protest rushed plans to reopen New Jersey public schools in September.

      “Rushed” plans? As in, plans to get back to normal?

      Looked up this “NJ21 United.” Slogan: “#Red4Ed.” Aaaaand there it is.