IFLA: The “Nope” Edition of the Horoscope for the week of August 16

by | Aug 16, 2020 | Advice, IFLA | 127 comments

Nothing in the planetary alignment front.  There were enough almost kinda-sorta things that I thought about inventing a new construction just to give you guys something, but my refusal to engage in that sort of thing is what distinguishes me as a sciencetist from the various charlatans, mountebanks, and data visualization experts.

As for where the planets are, there actually is a fairly clear piece of advice this week.  As you know, the sun is in Leo, and Mercury is there too.  As you probably also know, they have progressed to that point by passing through Cancer — or in other words they left that sign behind.  Well now, Cancer is playing host to The moon and Venus.  All three of these are water signs, and all three of these have at least the connotation of variability/disorder.  So the lesson here is, things are going to be chaotic and out of control.  The best way of dealing with it it to just bluster your way through.  Go big.  Be the lion.  If you have to swat a few hyenas out of the way this week, so be it.

Leo:  6 of Wands reversed – Apprehension, fear, treachery, disloyalty, indefinite delay.  Like you needed me to tell you this.

Virgo:  Wheel of Fortune – Destiny, fortune, success, elevation, luck, felicity

Libra:  Queen of Wands reversed – Good, economical, obliging, serviceable, lacking nouns.

Scorpio:  5 of Swords – Crush your enemies and see them driven before you, spoils of victory, trouble coming.

Sagittarius:  The Lovers reversed – Failure, foolish designs, romantic troubles

Capricorn:  8 of Swords reversed – Disquiet, difficulty, opposition, accident, treachery

Aquarius:  Ace of Swords reversed – Extremes or force leading to disaster, someone powerful acting against you.

Pisces:  4 of Wands – Country life, repose, concord, harmony, prosperity, peace

Aries:  9 of Cups reversed – Truth, loyalty, liberty, mistakes, imperfections

Taurus:  The Fool – Folly, mania, extravagance, intoxication, delirium, frenzy, bewrayment.

Gemini:  4 of Cups reversed – Novelty, presage, new instruction, new relations.

Cancer: The Hermit – Prudence, circumspection, treason, dissimulation, roguery, corruption

 

About The Author

Not Adahn

Not Adahn

Despite all my rage, I am still just an impeccably dressed rat.

127 Comments

  1. Sean

    ” The best way of dealing with it it to just bluster your way through. ”

    Standard operating procedure.

    • Count Potato

      If you ever show up for the wrong meeting, just announce, “I shaved my balls for this.” Works every time.

      • Sean

        “This isn’t where I parked my car.”

  2. Gender Traitor

    Scorpio: 5 of Swords – Crush your enemies and see them driven before you, spoils of victory, trouble coming.

    I guess I’d better make some enemies just so I get SOMETHING good before the trouble arrives.

    • Grumbletarian

      Make sure your enemy isn’t also a Scorpio.

  3. Count Potato

    “As you know, the sun is in Leo, and Mercury is there too.”

    How would I possibly know that?

  4. CPRM

    The Fool – Folly, mania, extravagance, intoxication, delirium, frenzy, bewrayment.

    That this sin’y my card EVERY TIME, shows this is not #Science.

    • Count Potato

      Is “bewrayment” even a word?

      • CPRM

        everything is a word somewhere I guess, only so many vocalizations can be made.

      • Don did not Escape Bama

        I’m fascinated by archaic tenses and their residues that survive or are implied in English.

        The tense of having become and still enduring (such as I infer it, not that I have an academic reference for this notion), seems to come from be- in Middle English or from en- from French. So we have betrothed (the verb almost never used but the participle surviving handily), for example: they were by an act betrothed; they remain betrothed; both the past and present are demonstrated by the verb; the future is implied: they will remain betrothed until something changes that.

        We see this in enlarge: something was enlarged by some occasion and, presumably, so remains and so shall remain in a sort of inertia.

        begin, bemoan, begotten, enrage, entrap, encompass

      • Gustave Lytton

        Often, betrothed is used in place of the perhaps more accurate plighting one’s troth.

      • Gustave Lytton

        As a synonym for engagement.

  5. The Late P Brooks

    my refusal to engage in that sort of thing is what distinguishes me as a sciencetist from the various charlatans, mountebanks, and data visualization experts.

    aka “public health experts”?

  6. The Late P Brooks

    Sagittarius: The Lovers reversed – Failure, foolish designs, romantic troubles

    I’m going to meet a new woman who will spurn me?

    Sounds about right.

  7. But Enough About My Prostate

    Gemini: 4 of Cups reversed – Novelty, presage, new instruction, new relations.

    Sounds suspiciously upbeat for a Gemini horoscope. I fear and distrust this, and expect bewrayment.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Frickin autocorrect

    • But Enough About My Prostate

      I promise I won’t ruin them.

      Bewrayment, bewrayment, all is bewrayment.

    • UnCivilServant

      I need to eat something, but I can’t seem to figure out what.

      • CPRM

        That’s usually when I just go with beer.

      • CPRM

        And that’s why you’ll never be president or something.

      • Don did not Escape Bama

        enchanting, bewitching, beguiling, believing, enjoined, endeared

      • Sean

        The answer is meat and cheese. I’ll leave the details up to you.

      • J. Frank Parnell
      • Aloysious

        I need to eat something, but I can’t seem to figure out what.

        I would suggest food, but I’m confident you’ve already thought of that.

    • DEG

      That reminds me. Some .303 surplus (Greek HXP) is up for sale on GunBroker and ending today. I gotta place a bid.

      • R C Dean

        Snagged a case of 12 gauge slugs from blulkammo yesterday. Now I need a gondolier like Yusef has.

        Bonus: the slug shell casing is bright blue so’s you can tell it from your 00.

      • R C Dean

        Sigh. “Bandolier”.

      • TARDIS

        It’s okay. What happens in Venice, stays in Venice.

      • DEG

        I wasn’t that smart, but that’s par for the course.

        I placed a bid. I’m in the running. The auction ends in about an hour.

        I ran a search for .303 ammunition after placing the bid. Some folks put some Greek HXP up for less per round.

        Oh well.

  8. TARDIS

    Virgo: Wheel of Fortune – Destiny, fortune, success, elevation, luck, felicity

    Not buying it. Felicity??? No Way! Would.

  9. Yusef drives a Kia

    “Virgo: Wheel of Fortune – Destiny, fortune, success, elevation, luck, felicity”
    Too bad I don’t Believe

    • CPRM

      You don’t believe in Felicity? it was on for like 6 years.

      • But Enough About My Prostate

        Well, 4, but who’s counting?

        (Never did understand why so many people went ga-ga for Keri Russell; she was always a big meh to me . . . )

      • peachy rex

        You have bewrayed me for the last time, Enough About X!

      • Gustave Lytton

        I think if you were of a certain age, having grown up with her on the new MMC and so on, it might help. Felicity diminished the attraction for me, particularly the head shaving. Her performance in The Americans frankly scares me. I wouldn’t want to be in the same room as that character.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        She’s got great legs.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yes she does. That’s the first auto complete result on YouTube for typing Keri Russell.

  10. DEG

    Apprehension, fear, treachery, disloyalty, indefinite delay. Like you needed me to tell you this.

    Same shit, different day.

    • Hyperion

      It’s almost like you’re a Capricorn.

  11. Tres Cool

    Virgo: Wheel of Fortune – Destiny, fortune, success, elevation, luck, felicity

    “Woo Hoo!” -Homer Simpson

    • BakedPenguin

      Tres – I wanted to apologize for my behavior on the Zoom chat last week. I was hoping you’d show up, as I bought a Milwaukee’s Best Light tall can.

      • Tres Cool

        No biggie. I dont know about you- I was smashed. A good friend a long time ago said, “never get worked-up over what you hear in a bar”.

        Its all good.

        TALL CANS!

      • The Hyperbole

        You deserved everything you got. Also since I know it weighs heavy on your mind – No CHGSS’s this week I had to settle for a jar of the Burger Slices.

      • Ted S.

        I don’t think we can forgive you for saying you like pineapple on pizza.

      • BakedPenguin

        I wasn’t that horrible.

        I did say that deep dish was pizza, though.

    • TARDIS

      Hmmm, that popped up on my Firefox home page too.

  12. The Late P Brooks

    I need to eat something, but I can’t seem to figure out what.

    That’s why I keep cheese and crackers on hand.

    • Hyperion

      Drink instead, that will fix it.

  13. Mojeaux

    bewrayment

    *crosses fingers* Please let it be advantageous for me.

    • peachy rex

      Um… sure!

  14. The Late P Brooks

    Keep fear alive

    Health experts say children make up more than 7% of all coronavirus cases in the US — while comprising about 22% of the country’s population — and the number and rate of child cases have been “steadily increasing” from March to July.
    The data was posted alongside updated guidance from the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention for pediatricians that also includes what is known about the virus in children.

    “Recent evidence suggests that children likely have the same or higher viral loads in their nasopharynx compared with adults and that children can spread the virus effectively in households and camp settings,” the guidance states.
    Transmission of the virus to and among children may have been reduced in spring and early summer due to mitigation measures like stay-at-home orders and school closures, the CDC says.

    But now, schools and universities across the country are reopening and in some cases have had to readjust their approach following positive tests among students and staff. How to safely welcome students back has been an ongoing debate between local and state leaders as some push for a return to normalcy and others fear returning to class could prove deadly for some. In some cases, teachers have opted to resign rather than risk contracting the virus.

    “So if I’m put into a classroom of 30 or more kids, it’s a small room, there’s one exit, the ventilation isn’t all that great for schools,” Arizona teacher Matt Chicci, who quit his job, told CNN. “It’s not a good situation.”

    I like how they slide from “children” to “universities are opening”.

    And where is the “cases vs symptoms” context?

    I think I saw something in the last couple of days about CDC(?) saying asymptomatic individuals should not be tested. We have to keep the numbers up, or people might they’ve been hornswoggled!

    • Sean

      Gotta keep feeding that narrative!

      How many dead bodies are piling up in Seattle or Portland?

      • Hyperion

        Portland and Seattle closed schools and churches, so why would they get commie flu?

    • KSuellington

      I think that people have started to figure it out. Hopefully that realization just continues to grow from now till Election Day. I’ve worked in about 500 different homes and businesses since the shitshow started, so I have less than zero sympathy for the vast majority of teachers that are bitching about having to actually fricking work for a living.

      • Sean

        My gf has no qualms about returning to the classroom to teach. Also, she keeps telling at the tv whenever the news talks about non reopening schools.

      • Sean

        *yelling

      • KSuellington

        My best buddy from high school is a middle school teacher and also wants to get back. Looking at my previous comment I can see that it could be read as my belief that the vast majority of teachers don’t want to go back. I meant I had almost no sympathy for the majority that don’t want to teach (I can see if you are 65 and have some health issues that you might not want to be in a classroom). Anyone who is somewhat healthy and youngish I have zero sympathy for. All we see are the techers’ unions that keep bitching about having to work, and of course, the media focuses stories on individual teachers that want to play “woe is me, the coronavirus is gonna kill me if I teach!!” I wonder what the real numbers are?

    • Rhywun

      I’ve seen some American pediatrician group(s) saying the opposite of this stuff.

      Science!

    • Chafed

      The conflation of positive tests with symptoms drives me nuts.

    • R C Dean

      Also, you are being invited to believe those are active cases. Which they may or may not be.

      • mikey

        But, the total number of cases keeps going up! We have to wait until they start going down!

      • Chafed

        Yup. That also drives me nuts.

  15. J. Frank Parnell

    Scorpio: 5 of Swords – Crush your enemies and see them driven before you, spoils of victory, trouble coming.

    I assume their women are wearing masks, and that’s why I won’t hear their lamentations?

  16. KibbledKristen

    I got plenty of mistakes & imperfections, but I like liberty.

  17. Don did not Escape Bama

    Lee Administration to nix student wellness-check program before it starts

    Pressured by state lawmakers, the Lee Administration is reneging on a massive plan for school districts to conduct “welfare checks” on every child in the state because of the COVID-19 pandemic. Education Commissioner Penny Schwinn sent a letter to state lawmakers Friday, Aug. 14, saying the program, which would have given local district an option for “at-risk kids who continue to navigate prolonged time away from the classroom,” will be rescinded.

    Should Governor Lee get
    * half a point for listening to the public’s objections to his grand, self-important, centralizing, and controlling program and undoing something stupid before it started
    * double demerits because good Republicans understand small government and individuality, so this is particularly horrifying (would be par for the course for Democrats!?!)
    * tarred and feathered because we all know he’s an autocrat the same as the other 49
    * triple points for strutting around with his engorged Guv-boner and being an excellent Trump-like lord and savior who gets shit done in unconventional ways
    * recalled, excommunicated, shunned, and outcast for so much as hiring staff who would ever plan, recommend, tolerate, or implement such an awful program

  18. Annoyed Nomad

    lacking nouns

    What does that even mean?

  19. KibbledKristen

    It’s August in The Swamp, but it’s cold enough for a hot bath and an even hotter beverage. And I slept like a baby with my down comforter last night. I feel Gaia will make us pay for this in the near future.

    • Gustave Lytton

      I took down the air conditioner mid week. Put it back up yesterday.

    • Rhywun

      69º here today. 80’s rest of the week but today… nice.

  20. Chafed

    What do the stars say about gun stores returning to a decent level of inventory, NA?

      • kinnath

        Just ordered another 400 rounds of 7.62 Nato.

      • Chafed

        Thanks GL. That’s good info about ammo but I can’t shoot it if I don’t own a gun. What about muh gunz?

      • kinnath

        Just go buy one.

        Last week

        or Last month

        or better yet, Last year

      • Chafed

        As soon as the DeLorean is back from the shop I’ll get right on it.

  21. Gustave Lytton

    Off to the hardware store. Replacing baseboard heater and of course the original didn’t have a cable clamp.

    Some good news out of Portland, or maybe not as bad news.

    https://twitter.com/MrOlmos/status/1294896664847634432?s=20

    Second video down because Twitter is a piece of shit at linking replies directly. What they should have been doing with those stupid “shield walls” weeks ago, other than demonstrating what anyone who’s watched Paul Harrell videos knows. About fucking time. I hope twitterverse is filled with those losers proudly showing over their Sylvester bumps today.

    • Chafed

      What brought about the change in tactics? I would guess the cops wanted to do this months ago. I gather Wheeler came around. Do you know why?

    • UnCivilServant

      Before I followed the link I said “If that’s not a gun that fires knives, I’ll be disappointed.”

      I’m disappointed.

      • Chafed

        UCS is right.

      • The Hyperbole

        Chafed is right about UCS being right.

  22. mikey

    “Virgo: Wheel of Fortune – Destiny, fortune, success, elevation, luck, felicity”

    No Way!
    This is a set up!

    SP posts all that stuff on the morning links and I’m supposed to buy this?

  23. KSuellington

    I was just talking with a buddy a couple days back about how the coronapanic reminds me in some ways of the satanic (and non satanic) child abuse panics of the 1980’s. Obviously this current panic is far more widespread, but it does share the typical characteristics of other panics. Yesterday was hot here and we were at the beach with the kids body boarding and I was shocked by the amount of young and healthy looking people wearing masks on the beach. At one point three young women, likely not more than 20 or so, went into the water up to their shoulders with their masks still on.

    Just reading AoS and there was a little piece making the same comparison. This one also talked about the penis panics that have sprung up here and there throughout the years. I had forgotten entirely about that weird ass shit.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Koro_(medicine)#Southeast_Asia

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The things I learn here

    • SandMan

      from the wiki article;

      “Witches were said to store the removed genitals in birds’ nests or in boxes”

      Immediately thought of Hillary.

    • Gender Traitor

      sugar74
      @TheRabbi74
      ·
      3h
      Replying to
      @JieBoden

      @JackPosobiec
      and
      @realDonaldTrump
      Since when is the post office ever open on a Sunday ????
      This Tweet is from an account that no longer exists.

      Account deleted in shame for being trolled.

      • KibbledKristen

        At least half the replies are along those lines. Like, the account is literally named “Jie Boden”.

        Fuckin-a.

      • Gender Traitor

        “Don’t lysdexia-shame me!”

      • Rhywun

        You can’t delete your own twits?!

      • KibbledKristen

        Yes you can

    • Chafed

      Great actor but he really needs to push away from the table a little earlier and more often.

      • hayeksplosives

        I am under the impression that he hits drugs and alcohol pretty hard. That will age a person.

      • KibbledKristen

        IDGAF…that video is funny as hell

      • Sean

        ??

    • Mojeaux

      There is absofuckinglutely no way I’m watching that movie. The trailer scared me to death and I don’t like psychological thrillers. Unlike horror movies, those monsters are real.

      • Viking1865

        Glancing at the plot. The Viking1865 rewrite.

        Scene: Russell Crowe shows up, is menacing and intimidating and scary.

        Next Scene: Woman arms herself and her teenage son at their friendly local gun store.

        Third Scene: Russell Crowe shows up again, is menacing and scary, steps onto their property, they both fire a full magazine. Since it’s Louisiana and not California, everyone cheers them, then they go eat delicious food and get drunk.

        The rise of cell phones killed a lot of horror movie plots. The rise of concealed carry should kill off half the others.

      • UnCivilServant

        I donno, you’ve left off the supernatural horror killers who are naturally bulletproof and no one will believe you.

      • Mojeaux

        The magic letters: “P-C-P.” Everyone will believe you.

      • Mojeaux

        then they go eat delicious food and get drunk

        I like that ending.

        No lie–when I first saw the trailer, at the beginning of it, I thought it was going to be a remake/ripoff of Falling Down, which was an awesome movie.

        But no.

        Standard psychological thriller on steroids.

      • KibbledKristen

        That’s what he’s saying in the video – it’s a standard psychological action movie.

      • Mojeaux

        Because reasons, I couldn’t hear most of it, but what I did hear was funny.

        Just…I can’t even watch the trailer.

      • KibbledKristen

        Probably will be lost in translation, but just for you:

        “They say there is a catalyst at the heart of the cinematic experience. A social contract. A binding dynamic power that lifts the cinematic experience into a realm of intimate connection between the audience, and the screen, and the stars in the heavens beyond [lifts hand skyward dramatically].

        They say.

        [menacing music]

        But who are ‘they’?

        Some conceited, pretentious fuckwads who try to piss in your pocket and tell you it’s raining? Well, fuck that shit.

        I got a movie coming out. It’s called Unhinged.

        I’m not fucking with you. It’s. Called. Unhinged, and it’s gonna be in cinemas.

        Off you go.

        [chuckles menacingly]”

        /end

    • KibbledKristen

      The video on this Tweet is fuckin funny. Who cares about the movie it’s attached to?

      I had no idea RC even had a sense of humor.

  24. Rebel Scum

    someone powerful acting against you.

    Explains a business related email I just got.

    • Rhywun

      I wasn’t aware of this.

      The union would pay the employees out of its own political fund during their time off.

      LOL, “it’s own”. Holy shit, they are unbelievable.

  25. Aloysious

    Scorpio: 5 of Swords – Crush your enemies and see them driven before you, spoils of victory, trouble coming.

    Sounds like a movie script.

  26. hayeksplosives

    It’s a heat wave here in the foothills outside San Diego, but it’s still pleasant outside if you aren’t doing physical work.

    A rare morning when I can sit out on the patio and just listen to bird sing and the plants ripple in the breeze, with no sound of power tools large or small anywhere outside. The way a Sunday should be.

    And my IFLA doesn’t look too bad! Maybe I will survive the week.

  27. kinnath

    Anyone have experience with the BMW X5?

    My daughter is looking at one to replace the Xterra that was totaled by derecho.

      • kinnath

        thanks

      • kinnath

        Entertaining videos

      • Tres Cool

        Hoovie has made an internet living buying stuff that costs more to fix than its worth. The Wizard guy has a legit shop, and seems to know what he’s talking about. Its the opinion of 3 guys (counting the BMW guy), so take it for what its worth.

  28. hayeksplosives

    Looking at a package of Black River Meats low sodium bacon. The back of the package says:

    Cooking instructions: Pan fry slowly on low-medium heat until bacon renders and is cooked to your desired crispness.

    If you really don’t know how to cook bacon, please contact your elected officials and complain about our eduction system. Every American should know how to cook bacon. Seriously.

    Murica.

    • TARDIS

      I was wondering if there was a photo.
      *snort*

      • hayeksplosives

        ?