Monday Afternoon Links

by | Aug 17, 2020 | Daily Links | 472 comments

So my Ford Expedition has decided that it likes to blow its brake light fuse every so often, which causes the brake sensor switch behind the pedal to fail, which causes the parking shift interlock solenoid to not operate when you press the brake pedal. I know this because after replacing the shifter (which I broke) and the switch last time, I took it to the shop and they… replaced the fuse. But I couldn’t remember and didn’t write down which fuse it was last time. This time after another $60 5A fuse, I know. This also happened as we were dropping the kids off at my parents, who were trying to get to the beach while EDIT: Mrs. L (Sorry, hon, I totally doxxed you. Glad you don’t read this like SP) and I were trying to get to Tallahassee. Big fucking hassle. But also fun to see my father’s expression as I pulled apart trim panels to get to the override (another shitty feature. I don’t know what sort of tool you’re supposed to use on the override, but it is not readily apparent to me that it will ever work without pulling the trim panels off) and then actually got the thing in gear. So that was shitty Friday, but its been a fun Monday, besides paying someone $60 for a $0.30 part.

The truest thing Obama has ever said, “Don’t underestimate Joe’s ability to fuck things up.”

Cats is asshoe. Also, thanks for nothing, dog.

When people ask me why I think Trump is probably going to win (disclaimer: he can absolutely fuck it up), I point to events like this. Which don’t seem to be happening for Biden.

Maybe a water slide pipe is not the place to sleep for the night.

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

472 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    “So my Ford Expedition has decided that it likes to blow its brake light fuse every so often, which causes the brake sensor switch behind the pedal to fail, which causes the parking shift interlock solenoid to not operate when you press the brake pedal.”

    Ford has a factory in Italy?

    • Count Potato

      $60??? It it made out of moonrock?

      • UnCivilServant

        Labor. Minimum hourly charge applies.

      • Brett L

        I took it to a shop. They’re good guys, but c’mon, they opened the hood. That’s $60 right there. The part was free, the time cost me.

      • Bobarian LMD

        The switch is obviously shorting out, since the fuse keeps blowing.

        As Brett, said $.30 fuse, $59.70 to tell you that it’s the fuse.

      • Brett L

        The switch is cheap, but I replaced it last time. I think it might be the actual brake light connectors. I did some reading and you’ll love this. The always hot side of the switch comes from the brake light line, but when the switch closes, that is supposed to energize the solenoid and complete the circuit to the lights. But the fuse is between the generator and the switch, so if the brake light fuse is shorted, the interlock solenoid can’t energize.

      • Sensei

        Dielectric the heck out of the brake bulbs and sockets.

      • Brett L

        Good idea. More grease.

      • Don did not Escape Bama

        parking shift interlock solenoid

        Ford was first with this BS, maybe ’67? Not being able to start in Neutral is some commie shit.

    • Cancelled

      They contracted with Lucas for the electrical system.

  2. KibbledKristen

    Seems like water parks are getting more & &more death-trappy. I’ll pass.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I remember as a kid in the ‘70s seeing a guy getting tricky going down a water slide on a kneeboard before sailing right over the side and breaking his back. They’ve always been death traps in my view (they’re still fun though).

      • KibbledKristen

        Seems like safety improvements have been somewhat negated by making crazier & crazier rides. Like that Schlitterbahn in KS that killed that politician’s kid.

      • pan fried wylie

        Technology. Computers get faster with more memory, but we just up the mesh/texture/output resolutions and render times end up taking longer than before.

      • Viking1865

        An investigation found that the boy, who weighed 74 pounds (34 kg), had been allowed to sit in the front of the raft, rather than between the two women accompanying him — one weighed 275 pounds (125 kg), while the other weighed 197 pounds (89 kg).[31] This led to an uneven weight distribution that contributed to the raft going airborne, despite the cumulative weight of 546 pounds (248 kg), less than the maximum recommended weight of 550 pounds (250 kg).[31]

      • Not Adahn

        I swear that when the first water park in town opened, they had one of those hyperbolic giant slides, but thy also gave you a board resting on three narrow fins so you’d go faster.

      • l0b0t

        Wifey and her sister LOVED going to Traction Action Park when they were teens.

    • Rhywun

      Looks like a Darwin event to me. You should be good.

      • C. Anacreon

        The Simpsons Did It!

        Very similar thing happened to Homer at Mt Splashmore. Season 2 or 3 IIRC.

    • Chafed

      You did warn us. I don’t know why I clicked.

  3. KibbledKristen

    What year is this here Expedition? I have been thinking of a Ford for my next vee-hickle

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Don’t do it.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’ve had good experience with Ford.

        Nowhere near the complaints I hear about the other brands.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        They can be hit or miss depending on the model, unlike Toyotas which are all good or Dodges which are all bad.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’ve seen where they make Toyotas, they can’t be good cars.

      • Chafed

        You are mistaken. I’m on my second Prius. In the Before Times, I was driving about 30,000 miles a year. Both cars have been very reliable. To the extent the first one had any problems, Toyota stood behind the car even when it was out of warranty.

      • WTF

        I have a 2008 4Runner with 190,000 miles on it and never had issues other than the typical maintenance and parts wearing out. Still runs great.

      • UnCivilServant

        Must have been a fluke.

      • But Enough About My Prostate

        Our 2013 RAV4’s been bullet-proof.

      • R C Dean

        Mrs. Dean’s 2008 FJ (shares a lot of parts with the4Runner) is the same, right down to the miles. I think we had to replace the alternator last year.

        My 2014 FJ is rocking along no issues whatsoever.

      • Grumbletarian

        #MeToo

        1983 Mustang GL (the U and Y fell off before I bought it, but it ran fine for a $500 car)

        1994 Mustang GT (Vortech supercharged, Borla side exhaust, learned to drive stick on it and never had to change the clutch from 2000 to 2016)

        1994 Explorer Sport (it ran with the A/C compressor pulley frozen for part of a day and just happily burned away at the serpentine belt without breaking it before I could replace it. Swapped the frozen pulley out for a free spinning pulley (who needs A/C in New Hampshire anyway?), and later changed to manual locking front hubs, and it got low-20s gas mileage after that, damn good for a mid-90’s V-6 SUV)

        2005 Sport Trac (Drove it for seven years until I wanted something a little bigger.)

        2013 F-150 XLT Super Crew (Still got this, and it’s running great. Wish I could swap to manual locking front hubs though.)

      • KibbledKristen

        I love my Versa, but I have some concerns about Nissan going forward given their….management issues.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Besides about to go bankrupt and dropping half their line-up, Ford has made me regret a few buying decisions in the past.

        And don’t get me started on their trucks.

      • Bobarian LMD

        The Bronco is gonna be winner, if they don’t manage to really fuck the pooch.

      • Brett L

        Wait until they try to turn out 75000 instead of 7500.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        I love my Versa

        No one has ever said that until now.

      • KibbledKristen

        I dunno what’s wrong with people, then. It’s a great little car. Never a day of trouble (except for the vermin that got into the air handling system, but that’s not Nissan’s fault, probably)

      • UnCivilServant

        Is it of a size where I can fit the vehicle in the trunk of my car?

      • Certified Public Asshat

        It’s a reliable people mover, but…boring. It should be faster and handle better for being a little car.

      • KibbledKristen

        Mine is very zippy. I have a 2010. I hear that subsequent years got a smaller engine.

      • DEG

        I liked my Crown Victoria. It was a 2003. I didn’t have any major problems with it until after about 150K miles.

        I can’t say the same about my 2013 Hyundai Genesis.

      • UnCivilServant

        I wish they still made the Crown Vic.

        I’d totally buy one.

      • KibbledKristen

        So I had driven nothing but Hyundais from 1988 to 2011. My last one was an Elantra wagon with never-ending transmission issues. When I scrapped that, I became a rabid anti-Hyundite.

      • DEG

        After the string of electrical problems in my Genesis due to parts corroding, I plan to never buy another Hyundai.

      • pan fried wylie

        *Hyundailian

    • Ted S.

      Fix Or Repair Daily.

      • Surly Knott

        Found On Road Dead

      • TARDIS

        Fucked Over Rebuilt Dodge is still my favorite.

      • Not Adahn

        A place where a river is shallow enough to wade across.

      • C. Anacreon

        Anagram of Dorf.

      • Nikkodemus

        Backwards, it’s “Driver Returns On Foot”.

    • TARDIS

      Well best of luck. I’m done with Ford. My wife will divorce me and take half most of my stuff, except for the Fords, if I buy another one.

    • Brett L

      2013. I think they made changes in 2016, although I also found mention of this problem going back to the 1997-2003 models, so they probably didn’t change the brake indicator switch.

    • KibbledKristen

      I wish Jeep had some more competition in the topless SUV department. But Jeep is still on my short list at any rate.

  4. Count Potato

    “Several bystanders can be seen walking past Gao’s prone body before his dog approaches him to see what’s amiss. It spots the culprit lurking by a building and lunges at it, barking, whereupon the two engage in an intense face-off, before the camera cuts back to his owner on the ground.”

    It sounds like the dog made an effort.

  5. leon

    Yeah, but those Boat riders like don’t have 4 year degrees. So haha.

    Probably the least self aware part of that exchange betwen Wiegel and Chris Hayes, was that they explicitly mention Florida Man, while not shitting their pants. Florida is an important swing state, and if you’re saying florida man is Trumps base, then you’ve got problems.

  6. leon

    Why is it that politicians are most Honest when talking “off the record” to wall street bankers?

    • mexican sharpshooter

      The bankers are paying them?

  7. Scruffy Nerfherder

    If you ever wanted proof that Foreign Affairs is a total inside-the-beltway shitrag, here you go.

    The man is an admitted liar who reveled in how stupid, ignorant, and easy to bamboozle the press corps was.

    • KibbledKristen

      We had that rag in my college campus min-mart. Buncha nerds.

    • Gustave Lytton

      I had to click through to find out which liar was there. Wasn’t enough to narrow it down.

    • leon

      The Democratic Renewal
      What It Will Take to Fix U.S. Foreign Policy
      By Ben Rhodes
      September/October 2020

      Pass.

      • C. Anacreon

        I believe Ben Rhodes is the son of War Machine.

    • Rhywun

      Didn’t make it past the first sentence.

      • Rhywun

        PS. And I don’t know who that guy is.

      • leon

        Former Obama Foriegn Policy Douche

      • Chafed

        Who openly bragged how easy it is to deceive the press because the reporters covering him were in their 20s so they knew very little.

      • B.P.

        He went from being a speechwriter to Deputy National Security Advisor under Obama. I think he was one of the architect’s of the Iran deal.

      • B.P.

        Apostrophe? Come on, now.

    • B.P.

      That article is some stupid shit.

      “Global concerns about U.S. credibility aren’t simply tied to the calamitous presidency of Donald Trump—they’re rooted in the fact that the American people elected someone like Trump in the first place.”

      Once again, the American public has let the inside-the-beltway foreign interventionists down.

      • leon

        We are a disapointment to DC. Maybe we should just let them choose who will rule.

      • R C Dean

        Global concerns about U.S. credibility

        From what I can tell, our credibility is up. Just did a peace deal in the Mid-East, and all.

        Now, credibility isn’t the same as popularity, but I suspect Ben doesn’t realize that. Obama seemed to be going more for popularity.

      • Viking1865

        When a leftist wonk talks about foreign policy credibility, what he means is that the people who went to school with him at Harvard, or Yale, or Oxford, approve of the current US President. Nothing else matters. Their whole world revolves around the global elite approving of things.

        That’s one of the main reasons our policy in the Middle East has been so fucking stupid. The people running US foreign policy have this idiotic idea that since they run the show in the US, the Westernized Ivy League types they personally know must also run the show. But in places like Pakistan, Afghanistan, and Iraq the most powerful man in a given region, the key to US interests might be a man who speaks no language but his own, and who meets you sitting on a carpet, with an AK propped in the corner.

        It’s why it’s so easy to bamboozle them in negotiations. You put on a suit, you lean over and say “I very much admire your President Obama, he was a true statesmen” and next thing you know the traitorous nitwit T. Coddington Van Vorhees IV is surrendering vital American interests because the thuggish dictator put on a Western suit and dropped a few names of the Special Envoy’s classmates in his ear.

      • peachy rex

        The nitwits also have a massive inferiority complex vis a vis the Euro-weenies.

      • Gadfly

        That’s one of the main reasons our policy in the Middle East has been so fucking stupid.

        My Dad has said that when he was deployed in the Middle East, he noticed that the negotiations accomplished more when they were led (on the US side) by military personnel rather than state department personnel. The military would send warriors and chaplains to negotiate, while the state department would send diplomats. One of these groups was more well respected by the people on the other side of the table, and also better understood them.

      • commodious spittoon

        Yeah, how disappointing that the stupid rubes who fight their wars feel like they should have a say in whether we start them, or when we can withdraw.

  8. The Other Kevin

    I used to own a Chevy Aveo. Worst car in the world. I had a series of problems, including one where just opening any door would make the alarm go off and not stop until it was done with its cycle. Another time the breaks were worn and I couldn’t turn the steering wheel. When things like that happened I used to listen to “Piece of Shit Car” by Adam Sandler very loudly.

    Turns out that “American” Chevy was manufactured by Daiwoo in Korea and just had Chevy markings.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      A friend of mine was stationed in Korea and she remarked when they first started selling them here, “its funny because in Korea they consider those shit cars.”

      • The Other Kevin

        They were not wrong.

    • Bobarian LMD

      The Aveo was an improved version of the Metro.

      The Metro was a Yugo with better press.

      • Not Adahn

        But excellent gas mileage!

      • UnCivilServant

        In that it uses none, being pushed by the owner to where it needs to be?

      • Not Adahn

        It got 50MPG back in the late ’80s!

        41 percent of Metro buyers were first-car buyers, 62 percent of the buyers were female, and the median age of a Metro buyer was 37

        .

      • Count Potato

        “I want a new gas cap for a Yugo”

        “Sounds like a fair trade”

      • TARDIS

        I letter or article in C&D commenting that a Yugo cost the same as a spoiler for Countach. They would rather have had the spoiler as artwork for their living room than the POS Yugo. It amused me.

      • TARDIS

        *I remember a*

      • pan fried wylie

        “The spoiler-equipped living room is still faster.”

      • TARDIS

        And I’ll bet you’d have a better chance of getting laid on it.

    • Nephilium

      Just in case you need another song at some point in the future:

      Two Ton Paperweight

    • pan fried wylie

      When things like that happened I used to listen to “Piece of Shit Car” by Adam Sandler very loudly.

      Because the volume control was also unresponsive.

    • KibbledKristen

      Sounds like they read Atlas Shrugged as an instruction manual.

      • UnCivilServant

        Someone read Atlas Shrugged?

      • KibbledKristen

        I have. More than once. All the way through.

      • Plisade

        Me too.

      • KibbledKristen

        (I did skip the monologue on subsequent readings, I’ll admit)

      • Plisade

        The whole Galt’s Gulch section bored me. And the tiny rebellion at the end that overthrew a gubmint was meh. A Tarantinoesque ending was definitely in order.

      • KibbledKristen

        My favorite part was the train wreck scene. Follow by the Xylophone being put into action.

        My biggest issue was…99% of women would never pick John Galt over Hank Reardon and Francisco d’Anconia.

      • Plisade

        I only picked it up cuz my gramma always said it was her favorite book. After she died I felt compelled to read it. I’d never heard of libertarianism at that point in my life, so it was pretty eye opening, and I regretted never having talked politics with her. She lived her life like Dagny in Galt’s Gulch, but yeah, she would’ve gone for Hank, who was very much like my grandfather.

      • Plisade

        gone for = stayed with

      • Mojeaux

        My biggest issue was…99% of women would never pick John Galt over Hank Reardon and Francisco d’Anconia.

        My people!

        Hank Rearden is the only real man in that book.

      • KibbledKristen

        I’m an Ellis Wyatt gal, m’self, but apparently he was never under consideration by Dagny.

      • grrizzly

        I listened to it.

      • Mojeaux

        KK, did you see the movies?

        I saw #1 on my birthday and I was nearly sobbing by the end of it. “They ruined it!”

      • C. Anacreon

        I thought the special effects making the Reardon Steel bridge was kinda cool, especially given their limited budget.

        I wanted to ride a train over it.

      • Mojeaux

        You’re not wrong. The Rearden steel effects were very nice, but the acting was atrocious, the storytelling was flat, and there were terrible design decisions made, the first of which was that it should’ve been a period piece.

      • KibbledKristen

        I couldn’t. I just…couldn’t. I was skeptical, but then I read the review list TOS and it became a hard pass.

        What ruined it for you?

      • Mojeaux

        The better question is “What did it get right?”, which was almost nothing.

        The storyline was recognizable.

      • KibbledKristen

        Ugh. Sounds awful.

        At one point, I had heard Angelina Jolie was slated to be involved, both in starring and in financing.

      • KibbledKristen

        *review on TOS (WTF is up with my typing on this fricken tablet?)

    • Nephilium

      The rule of what again?

    • Chafed

      This is almost certainly unconstitutional under the US Constitution.

      • Ted S.

        [John Roberts accepts the challenge]

      • leon

        It’s a Tax. Easy Peasy.

      • R C Dean

        Pretty much. And they are going after people who can afford to litigate it.

        Even with Roberts, I don’t see how this stands. Opening the door for states to tax non-residents on assets/income with no nexus to the state is too disastrous for even the Supes to sign off on.

        *reviews opinion on taxing on-line sales*

        Never mind.

    • leon

      right guys? at least we got someone / Cops, prosecutors.

    • Hyperion

      As far as entertainers go, do rap and hip hop musicians tend to get murdered in disproportionate numbers compared to… everyone else? Not sure what is up with that.

      • The Hyperbole

        Probably depends on how you define the genres por ejemplo, do Dimebag and Sam Cooke both count as rock and roll stars? And the total number of entertainer in each genre. percentage wise one manouche gypsy jazz artist murdered probably equals a couple hundred punk rockers.

      • Hyperion

        Meh, not too much into the math for that. Could just be my own perception, but I don’t recall hearing too much about Polka band members getting shot.

        Rock musicians also seem to have their own special die method, plane crashes, outside of the occasional overdose.

      • pan fried wylie

        Polka bands kill each other with their music, duh.

      • Hyperion

        You’d be, or maybe not, surprised at how many Brazilian bands have an accordion player. I was surprised by it anyway.

      • Hyperion

        lol

      • TARDIS

        I blame it on the Germans. (German mom)

  9. leon

    Behind the friendship was a more complicated relationship, which now drives the former vice president to prove his partner wrong.

    Hey, Frank, I don’t think they were actually friends.

    • R C Dean

      Or partners.

  10. The Late P Brooks

    But was the cat okay?

    • KibbledKristen

      * drools *

    • TARDIS

      I go in with several of you. Glibnation, PA.

    • Not Adahn

      There was an abandoned prison near me they were selling stupidly cheap (like $50,000). But of course, they were only selling it cheap because they had decided who they were going to sell it to. A common citizen couldn’t buy it.

      On the one hand, you’d be living in a prison. On the other hand, it’s already fortified, with a surveillance system, an indoor gun range, and industrial grade electrical. I don’t know if they had sold off the kitchen and laundry appliances.

    • Hyperion

      PA?

      I’d be checking the taxes on that.

      • Timeloose

        That is the same county I was looking at land in. Wayne county is beautiful, close to interstates, and 3 small cities.

        Elk mountain ski resort is 20 min away.

  11. Count Potato

    “EXCLUSIVE: ‘Joe Biden stole Jill from me’: Her first husband tells how she CHEATED with Democrat candidate he once considered a friend and that they have LIED about how they started dating for years

    Joe Biden and his wife Jill have lied to the world for more than 40 years about how they started dating — they actually had an affair that broke up her first marriage, her first husband claims.

    And the whole story the Bidens tell about how the presidential candidate fell in love with Jill after a blind date is completely made up, Bill Stevenson told DailyMail.com in an exclusive interview.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8635281/Jill-Biden-cheated-husband-Joe-ex-claims.html

    • leon

      Somehow i get the feeling we are in a post-sanctity-of-mariage political society.

      • Hyperion

        The only thing that could make them more attractive to dem voters is if they had aborted 5 children during the marriage and that they’re both actually non-binary trans queer Satanists and antifa members. That would probably put sloJo over the top in the election.

      • pan fried wylie

        Joe looks like a post-op.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Ahem, that’s Dr Biden.

      • Fourscore

        PhD Ed, same as almost every high school principal in the USA

      • Rhywun

        LOL and I thought she was a real doctor.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I know, which is why I mockingly use it. Like Dr Maya Angelou.

      • C. Anacreon

        Bill Cosby used to give his full name in the closing credits of the Cosby Show as a PhD (Hon). Only time I’ve seen someone list their honorary degree as part of their name.

        Cosby apparently received 57 honorary degrees, mostly connected with giving commencement addresses at major colleges; most, but not all, of those honorary degrees have been rescinded.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        And if I am remembering correctly, the Educations Schools are where the social justice sepsis began

    • Sensei

      ‘People ask me how I can go back 40 years, but I am not, I’m going back 72 years to tell my life story,’ added Stevenson, who founded The Stone Balloon, a famed live music club near the University of Delaware.

      The Stone Balloon – where I saw The Guess Who and John Valby aka Dr. Dirty.

      Also I have family that went to UD and watched Joe get knocked cold after messing with somebody’s girlfriend. So this isn’t exactly shocking. Also claim he was dumb as a box of rocks at that age too.

      • Sensei

        Still a classic! And still not work safe.

    • leon

      This guy complaining about Joe stealing his wife. You should have seen what Jill did to joes wife.

      • Rhywun

        Hey-oohhh!

  12. Tres Cool

    “So my Ford Expedition has decided that it likes to blow its brake light fuse every so often, which causes the brake sensor switch behind the pedal to fail, which causes the parking shift interlock solenoid to not operate when you press the brake pedal.”

    I replaced a front wheel-speed sensor on Jugsy’s GMC, since the ECU wasnt getting a signal, and disabled the ABS and traction control. Now, when you decelerate to a stop, around 10 mph it kicks the ABS on anyhow.

    I got nuthin other than replace the hub that contains the tone-ring (aka magnet) that the sensor reads.

    • Frosty

      It’s the tone ring… one or more of the teeth isn’t triggering the ABS sensor. Once the wheel speed drops low enough, the signal drops out for long enough that the ABS computer thinks that wheel has locked up and kicks in the anti lock action.

      I’ve had exactly the same problem.

  13. Rebel Scum

    Buy a Honda.

    • Plisade

      Yup.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      Do I have to start wearing a flat cap backward and put a muffler that makes my car sound like a squeaky fart? If so, it is a hard no,

    • leon

      I’ve avoided that story because it is so tremendously tragic. I can’t even imagine, as a parent.

      • Count Potato

        That site is a joke.

      • B.P.

        I notice Snopes does the thing where they capitalize “black” but not “white.”

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        What’s False
        However, no evidence has demonstrated a pattern of ignoring the crime on the part of mainstream news media outlets, much less doing so to further a predetermined racial narrative.

        Uh huh.

      • C. Anacreon

        What’s annoying is their basic argument is that there’s no printed policy of the newspapers that say they’re not going to report on stories like this, therefore the claim is false. As if you have to prove active and conspiratorial bias instead of the proof in front of your lying eyes, that indeed the story was never reported by the NY Times.

        They just don’t understand that to the Times types, there’s just no story here, so why report it? It’s not active bias, it’s passive bias, but the results are the same.

        Funny how these newsfolk trying to deny this clear bias are the same ones saying we’re all unconsciously racists.

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        It’s a little like the reporting about how Antifa isn’t really an organization. OK, they may not have membership cards, dues, a clubhouse or regular meeting with Robert’s Rules of Order, but it sure as hell exists, and there’s some kind of organization to it.

      • Not Adahn

        Also, look at the timeline of their “evidence.” They are using stories published AFTER people were complaining about the media ignoring the story to prove that those people complaining were lying poopyheads.

        All news media take two weeks to report things. They’re very careful to get their fact checking correct, donchakno.

    • Suthenboy

      What makes that story even worse is that the perp is probably batshit crazy and not likely responsible for his actions.
      I have known a few of those.

      • Rhywun

        Getting him help would remove his dignity.

      • one true athena

        His brother’s a convicted pedo, so the family definitely has a problem.

      • Plinker762

        So the brothers average out?

    • Rebel Scum

      Fake news. The boat is foam injected and won’t sink.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Terrible. Just terrible. He didn’t yield to the boats with right of way.

  14. Rebel Scum

    Cats is asshoe.

    But it was funny.

    • kinnath

      Hand gun isn’t enough

    • leon

      Problem is that when it comes to it, in most jurisdictions, it is incredibly hard to prove that someone using their bare hands was using a lethal weapon, therefore justifying the use of force in response. eg in this case, when would a court have justified it until after he was out cold.

      More important than being armed is always traveling with a Buddy who is also armed.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        My understanding is that you don’t need to prove your aggressor was using a lethal weapon to use deadly force in self defense. You are justified in using deadly force against unarmed attackers if there is disparity of force. Massad Ayoob gives a great breakdown of this. It varies by situation, but multiple attackers justifies it. So does size discrepancies or male vs. female.

        Removing the victim’s ability to retreat (e.g., crashing their vehicle to force them out) is another element that can provide defense for deadly force against unarmed aggressors.

    • Grumbletarian

      Never would have happened if there’d been a social worker around.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of vehicles- Suburban update:

    I pulled the carburetor off, yesterday, and cleaned a bunch of horrible goo and sediment out of it. The main jets were completely blocked by crud. I cobbled it back together just enough to get fuel to dribble through the primaries. I cranked it with the carb off, and by golly some manner of gasoline derivative substance came spurting out of the fuel pump. Stuck carb back on, turned the key, and the mighty 454 Chevrolay burst into song. Sort of. It sounds as if the float no longer floats, and it’s a might rich. But progress. If I get really ambitious, I might plop the carburetor from the truck on it. That, or order up a Quadrajet rebuild kit.

    *I would not have gotten involved in all this tomfoolery if it was a small block. H O 454 FTW!

    • Plinker762

      I stopped using the truck with a 454 after I got one with a duramax. Which means I have to get my 454 running so I can sell it.

  16. Old Man With Candy

    You doxxed your poor pregnant wife. You monster .

    • leon

      Don’t worry. No one reads the links anyways

    • Brett L

      Whoops. I’ll go take her name out.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    My antique (’91?) Explorer has a manual transmission, and I disabled the switch which keeps it from starting if you don’t have the clutch pedal pushed down.

    • Brett L

      I should put in a permanent bypass while I have the trim still apart.

  18. Rhywun

    Today in lazy:

    ‘Antifa’ protesters trash Williamsburg Whole Foods, Apple over weekend

    (Williamsburg is very white and hipster.)

    • leon

      Really? I thought they were all old fashioned.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That’s my Williamsburg.

      • Rhywun

        Yeah, I’m talking about the larger one.

    • Rebel Scum

      Seems like an own-goal for the Antifa types. Where else are they going to get their fair trade soy coffee?

      • pan fried wylie

        Seems like anybody could shit in a paper bag, right?

  19. Rebel Scum

    We are truly grateful for his majesty’s generosity.

    Andrew Cuomo
    @NYGovCuomo

    Gyms can open as soon as August 24 at 33% capacity with mandatory mask wearing and other strict health measures.

    HVAC systems must meet guidelines.

    Localities must inspect every gym before it opens or within 2 weeks of opening.

    Localities must enforce regulations.

    • WTF

      33%, not 34%, or 32%; only 33% is safe, because reasons.

      • Shpip

        35 is right out.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    I should put in a permanent bypass while I have the trim still apart.

    Yes. Yes you should.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    I got nuthin other than replace the hub that contains the tone-ring (aka magnet) that the sensor reads.

    Is there a brake pressure sensor which can be adjusted? Either line pressure, or a sensor on the pedal?

  22. Rhywun

    In case you were under the impression that this wasn’t all about begging for more money:

    “Our goal has always been that students that are in remote learning will have teachers from their school,” Carranza said at a press conference alongside Mayor Bill de Blasio. “Obviously that is our goal. But that is not a guarantee. Because it’s going to depend on how many teachers at that school are in remote mode, how many are in-person learning.”

    • Ted S.

      Meh, they can set up cameras in the classrooms.

      • Rhywun

        That’s not Top Man level thinking, citizen.

      • Cancelled

        So does this mean the hot teachers will all have Onlyfans sites?

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Frosty knows more about ABS than I do, I see.

  24. Shpip

    In other “too local” news, the vice-mayor from a lil burg near Brett L and I got popped for her third DUI last week.

    Since the article doesn’t mention it, I’ll give you one guess as to her political affiliation.

    Also, would not.

    • B.P.

      “When deputies arrived, they asked Norris, 59, to step out the Tesla’s driver’s seat.”

      I applaud the Tampa Bay Times for bucking convention and using the Wu Tang style guide.

    • Brett L

      She looks like 2 bottles of gin and 3 packs of smokes a day for 30 years away from attractive.

      • C. Anacreon

        You could even call her a gin rummy.

    • Rhywun

      “You know we have a little thing called COVID going on,” Columbia County Sheriff David Bartlett said.

      Passive-aggressive much? Christ, what an asshole.

      • C. Anacreon

        You know I like it!

        Crazy little thing called Covid.

  25. The Hyperbole

    Is that dog in the cat video wearing shoes?

    • whahappan

      It looked like it to me. No wonder it backed off from the cat.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    What could possibly go wrong?

    Europe’s plan to raise billions each year for coronavirus relief by charging ships for their pollution could inflame trade tensions at the worst moment for the global economy and set back efforts to tackle the climate crisis.
    The European Commission is proposing to extend its Emissions Trading System (ETS) to shipping as one of a series of measures to help pay for rebuilding the EU economy, and to promote a green recovery from the crisis.
    The European Union plans to spend 30% of its €750 billion ($889 billion) coronavirus recovery fund and next seven-year EU budget on climate-related projects in a bid to become the first carbon-neutral continent.

    That should really goose the economy.

    • B.P.

      “Europe’s plan to raise billions each year for coronavirus relief…”

      Each year. Whoops! Did we just admit that this coronavirus thing is going to go on forever?”

    • Rhywun

      ?‍♂️

    • Hyperion

      “at the worst moment for the global economy and set back efforts to tackle the climate crisis.”

      There are certain things that are just at odds with each other, and no matter how you say it doesn’t change that.

    • Suthenboy

      ‘Carbon neutral continent’

      *facepalm*

      • Hyperion

        Did you forget about all those penguin farts?

      • UnCivilServant

        But that’s natural.

        Now if they were farmed penguins, that’d be a whole different matter.

      • pan fried wylie

        Then we learn the sea lions ARE cultivating the penguins for consumption. But that’s still OK because sea lion farming is still Natural in a way that human farming isn’t.

  27. Rhywun

    Today in “let’s ruin another genre”:

    Racism is a monstrous presence in HBO’s new series “Lovecraft Country” — and is joined by nightmarish beasts from the works of author H.P. Lovecraft.

    Atticus is a fan of Lovecraft, who was notoriously racist — an issue the series addresses.

    Well, that’s problematic.

    You just knew JJ Abrams would be in there somewhere.

    • Hyperion

      And I saw there were no things left to ruin, so I sat down and began to weep / Alexander the Prog

      • Count Potato

        LOL

      • Cancelled

        Too much soy in xer diet. It makes xer moody.

  28. Fourscore

    Hyp, don’t worry about Alaskan internet, its everywhere. I’m getting pictures and phone calls from Galena, smaller town than Podunkville.

    • Hyperion

      Phone calls, sure. But what about high speed internet?

      • Fourscore

        Not sure about the speed but emailed photos,.

    • Plinker762

      Galena was an AF base

      • Hyperion

        I thought it was a mineral or ore you get lead from.

  29. Suthenboy

    Re: Chafed’s link above on the thugs attacking the motorist

    Highway 8 connects Jena, Louisiana west to Pollock, Louisiana. On the west side of Jena the highway goes through 3 or 4 miles of a black neighborhood. I have driven through there a zillion times myself and never had any problems but I did notice that a bunch of guys would build bonfires and hang around drinking and whatnot in a vacant lot by the road.
    20 or so years ago they decided to take potshots at passing white motorists (wtf?). That didnt work out very well for them. On the first try a couple of guys stopped got out of their truck and layed down half of a dozen with their shotguns.
    It was a big scandal at the time but I dont remember how it all played out.
    I know this – they dont have their bonfire anymore and no one has taken any more potshots at random passing cars.

  30. Chipwooder

    Any electricians out there? A few weeks ago, the garbage disposal switch apparently went bad. It itself was a replacement for another bad switch a couple of years ago. Now the one I just installed won’t work either. What might be causing this? I’m guessing it’s something I unfortunately need an electrician to repair?

    • Rhywun

      Check the thermostat.

    • Plinker762

      Switch not rated for motor loads?

    • Count Potato

      Not an electrician, but first I would replace the breaker. Because if the garbage disposal is shorting, and the breaker isn’t tripping, that’s bad.

      Turn off the new breaker. Then check the wiring at the disposal. Run the water. Check for leaks.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Don’t Forget GFI, if there’s a short, that can get nasty quick, and Switches don’t just fail, you have a short somewhere in the circuit.
        Disregard my other comment, I thought it was the Disposal itself

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Water, and it’s a shit brand, An Electrician will tell you to buy a new one, they aren’t worth the cost of service,
      / Check your Filters!

    • Sensei

      Get one rated for 15A motor load. Even better would be 20A.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        unless he lives under a rock, All his circuits are rated for 15 Amp service, a 1/3 HP disposal pulls about 2-3 amps, I would put a ammeter in line and see if it was any higher than say 5, then you have a short

    • Gustave Lytton

      Get a multimeter while you’re at it. Fluke 115/116/117 are ~$100. Or something like amazon’s own. That’ll tell you right away if the switch is faulty or not. No guessing about it.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Holy shit. Fluke hiked the price over the past several years.

        Get a decent multimeter. Maybe not those specific ones.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Southwire

      • Count Potato

        Fluke has always been $$$$

        I used to sell them. Their prices have gone down relative to inflation.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Last one I bought was was the 117 about ten years ago. At the time, if I remember correctly, those three came out as a value alternative to the Swiss army monster that the 87 had turned into. I think I paid $115 from Graybar. My thirty year old 77 is still humming along just fine.

      • Fourscore

        I have a $20 meter, all I need is voltage and continuity.

        Check the power incoming to the switch, then out of the switch in the on position.

        Also if no power turn the circuit breaker off/on sharply. Sometimes a breaker will look on but isn’t. Countertop plugins working normally? Possibly a ground fault that feeds the disposal.

      • Chipwooder

        I used to have a Fluke. Got lost in our move years ago, sadly, and I’ve been too cheap to buy another one.

    • Plinker762

      Is it just a regular light switch? Motor loads are different than lights.

      • Count Potato

        Garbage disposals have small motors and are designed to work with regular home switches.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        1/3 hp 3 A tops

    • kbolino

      Ants? I’ve had more or less the exact same problem and it turns out ants like electricity. I replaced the switch, then the replacement stopped working a couple years later. I took the new, dead switch out of the wall and found a line of dead ants across it, cleared them away and blew some compressed air on the switch, then it worked fine again.

      I know enough about electricity to be weirded out by this explanation, but not enough to actually understand what happened. No breaker was blown as far as I could tell, though my house is wired so crazy that I don’t know what else is on that circuit. Also, some of the breakers are too old to have indicators, so I suppose it’s possible it tripped.

      • Chipwooder

        No kidding! That switch has been where the damned sugar ants have been coming into the kitchen. I’ve seen them streaming out from uunder the switchplate.

      • kbolino

        Wow, yeah I’ve got the same problem. I put some of these out and get rid of them for a year or two, then they come back. I’m tempted to caulk the switchplate, but then they’ll just go somewhere else that’s harder to find I think.

        And the more I think about it, the more I think it was a tripped breaker. From what I can find, code says the disposal is supposed to be on its own circuit. The previous owner never bothered to label the panel, though.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Second Terro for sugar ants. I use the droplets on cardboard squares and it clears up an infestation quickly.

        Need to up my perimeter spray. Currently looking at Suspend SC.

      • Count Potato

        Even if it’s ants, I would definitely still replace the breaker.

      • Fourscore

        Had a ‘bug’ in my AC relay outside. A $100 bill for a vacuum and air pressure clean out by the tech

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        I know enough about electricity to be weirded out by this explanation, but not enough to actually understand what happened

        Electricity can do weird things. I had a dusk-to-dawn security light that would turn off whenever the heat pump turned on and stay off the rest of the night. So it’s night, the light turns on, heat pumps kicks on, light instantly turns off and stays off until next night. Heat pump and light were on different circuits. I have a 200 amp panel and the electric company installed a new transformer in case that was the issue.

        Never could figure it out. Ended up installing a new breaker with new wire to a new security light. That fixed it.

  31. Ed Wuncler

    “Negotiating with President Obama was all about the fact that he felt that he knew the world better than you,” said Eric Cantor, the Republican House majority leader from 2011 to 2014. “And he felt that he thought about it so much, that he figured it all out, and no matter what conclusion you had come to with the same set of facts, his way was right.” Biden, he said, understood that “you’re gonna have to agree to disagree about some things.”

    A former Republican leadership aide described Obama’s style as “mansplaining, basically.” The person added that Biden “may not be sitting down talking about Thucydides but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have a high level of political intelligence.”

    I’ve worked with a boss like that and they are the sorts who drive people away. They invite you to a meeting under the guise of understanding your work better or getting feedback but it usually means that you have to listen to them pontificate about some bullshit and when you do get a chance to say something, they shit all over your idea.

    • KibbledKristen

      That explains the dude bro asshats that were pawned off on us from the Obama White House back when I worked at State. You were NOT ALLOWED to contradict them in any way, and they were sexist AF. Going up to the executive suite was like entering a fucking frat house during rush week.

      As much as I dislike Trump, his low-level appointees have been excellent for the most part in the agency where I currently work.

      • Ed Wuncler

        I think one of the big issues with people like Obama is that they have been told their whole life how brilliant they are and never had to deal with adversity nor ever had to compromise because they always got their way.

        Trump is a jackass but he was in an industry that required you to at times to be forceful but other times compromise to get the job done.

        I remember when Obama had this meeting with GOP and Democrat leaders about ObamaCare and John McCain stated the reason behind his opposition, Obama didn’t even consider that McCain may have been making a valid point and was not the least curious about McCain’s and the GOP’s point of view. All he said back to McCain was basically, “I won the election and you didn’t, so your point doesn’t matter.” It was then when I realized how much of piece of shit this guy is.

      • Suthenboy

        ^This^

        The guy is a coddled child in a man’s body

      • Ed Wuncler

        That’s why dude without any sort of irony trot out the most idiotic statements like, “Not paying your fair share.”
        His wealth was gained through hobnobing with the “right”people and being able to make money off of his political career and connections. He never had to work for it, so in his mind whenever someone because wealthy, they didn’t work for it because he and his wife never worked for their wealth.

      • Suthenboy

        I will forever remember him as the unaware idiot that explained the economic downturn as a result of a run of ‘bad luck’

        You cant make shit like that up.

      • Chipwooder

        “‘Shovel ready’ was not as shovel ready as we expected *chuckling*”

        Yeah, that was the moment I realized just how stupid that fucker actually was, despite his veneer of sophistication and intellectualism.

    • Rhywun

      Oh man, did I have one of those.

      He was in and out within a year but apparently he remained friendly with a few coworkers I liked so I had to bite my tongue a lot. One of them even suggested that me moving to his new company would be a good idea.

    • Suthenboy

      I have been retired too long. I don’t have to ask anyone for anything or explain myself at all. I have gotten used to telling people like that to blow it out of their ass if they start shoveling horseshit. It is just too easy for me.

      *In fairness I wasn’t all that different before I retired*

    • Fourscore

      We had a saying in the army

      “Right is hard to beat, rank is impossible to beat”

      • The Hyperbole

        And he felt that he thought about it so much, that he figured it all out, and no matter what conclusion you had come to with the same set of facts, his way was right.

        Obama is a Glibertarian?

      • Cancelled

        Well Glibertalitarian, smae attitude facing the other way.

      • Not Adahn

        The difference is, I am right.

      • Ted S.

        You and your lousy track record on horoscopes.

      • Not Adahn

        It’s not my fault your parents lied to you about your birthday.

      • The Hyperbole

        Every time someone ask me how old I am I tell them I have no idea, I don’t trust my parents.

      • Not Adahn

        Honestly, you were there. If you weren’t paying attention to what day it was, that’s pretty much on you.

  32. DEG

    Sorry about the Expedition, Brett.

  33. commodious spittoon

    What’s a Chinese dog? And don’t say dinner.

    • KibbledKristen

      Sharon pei, shih tzu

      • KibbledKristen

        OMFG autocorrect

      • R C Dean

        But it got shit zoo right.

      • KibbledKristen

        I was in a ski shop and they had a fluffy little puppy wandering around. It was a poodle/shih tzu mix. Aka “shitpoo”. I want one just so I can say that when people ask me the breed

      • Hyperion

        In polite circles, the t is silent, you heathens.

      • Hyperion

        Sharon Pie and the Shit Zoo.

        Band name?

      • TARDIS

        Sharing Pie at the Shit Zoo.

      • Plinker762

        John has a long mustache

      • Chipwooder

        -The spotted cuckoo bird flies backwards.

        -It’s a cold day for pontooning.

    • KibbledKristen

      Pekingese, pug

      • Hyperion

        Why do ya’ll hate the Chow Chows?

      • UnCivilServant

        He told us not to say dinner.

      • Mojeaux

        They’re mean AF and almost as ugly.

      • Hyperion

        They’re not ugly and they have blue tongues. What is more cool than that? I had one. He was meaner than hell, not to family, but to other dogs and people, you had to keep an eye on him. One time I accidentally left the door open because I’d come back in the house to get my phone or something and by the time I was back outside, he was attacking my neighbors dog on the guy’s porch, fer fuck sake. Every time he would see that dog, he’d go straight for him. I had to finally get rid of him, gave him to a guy who lived way out in the country, he was not town safe.

      • Chipwooder

        Chows are the worst with other dogs. Years ago we had a neighbor who had two of them, and we learned quickly to head in the other direction whenever he walked them, because they would try to attack our dog at every opportunity.

      • Hyperion

        Yeah, I know. I have no idea what my neighbors dog did to him, but as soon as he would see him, he’d just charge right at him. I guess he was the closest other dog to fight.

        I felt terrible when I had to get rid of him because he was a birthday present to my son for his 7th birthday. And he was the sweetest dog ever with family, but he seemed to have some primal urge to fight other dogs and was scary aloof around other people, even people he’d been around a lot. He snapped at a friend of mine and I thought he was going to attack a guy just walking down the street outside once, if I hadn’t of caught him. Just was no longer worth the risk.

      • Not Adahn

        Everyone says that, but the double handful of Chows I’ve met have been giant adorable snugglefluffs.

      • Mojeaux

        Heh. KK’s autocorrect threw a wrinkle in her post.

    • Gender Traitor

      No, a Chinese cat is dinner.

      • pan fried wylie

        you misspelled “Chicken of The East”

      • KibbledKristen

        Chicken of the Xi

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Excellent!

      • pan fried wylie

        I thought that was pangolin.

      • pan fried wylie

        (didn’t go with bat there, because Anchorman 2 used a different set of labels)

      • Cancelled

        Do you cook it with hunny?

      • Mojeaux

        *wild applause*

  34. Sean

    Juan Williams is the worst.

    • Hyperion

      Well, among the dumbest. I’m not sure Juan in sentient enough to be the worst.

    • Gender Traitor

      I thought I was the worst! : (
      (Mojeaux is Worst Emeritus.)

      • Mojeaux

        EMERITUS?! I didn’t think I was THAT old!

      • Gender Traitor

        Nothing to do with age – you’ve just passed along the crown.

      • pan fried wylie

        You’re saying Mo couldn’t cut it at being worst…that’s pretty bad…JUDGES?!

      • TARDIS

        Gliberina fight???
        *perks up*

      • Mojeaux

        Nah, bruh. I don’t like the drama. ‘Sides, GT and I are pals.

      • TARDIS

        Nah, bruh. I don’t like the drama. ‘Sides, GT and I are pals.

        Well of course. So friendly Jello wrestling then?

      • Mojeaux

        Pffftt. That’s oogy. I don’t put that hand sanitizer stuff on my hands and I sure am not going to roll around in Jell-O. Gross.

      • Gender Traitor

        Gliberina
        Personally, I’m partial to “Glibbroad.” Completely partial.

      • Hyperion

        She was like ‘look at me, look at me, pick me, pick me, I’m the worst!’. Wait, I don’t want to be the worst!

        You remember that kid in school?

        So Gender Traitor is now the most worthy wortest worst for realz.

      • Mojeaux

        Nikki was always the worst, which is what I was saying. I just resigned myself to your insistence that I was the worst.

      • Hyperion

        I do not know this Nikki you speak of.

      • TARDIS

        I do not know this Nikki you speak of.

        Hater of human offspring, I believe.

      • Mojeaux

        I do not know this Nikki you speak of.

        Fake news.

      • Hyperion

        You are the worst, pay no attention to those imposters.

      • Ted S.

        Technically “Worst Emerita”, unless something’s changed that I didn’t hear about.

      • Cancelled

        Yes, Latin. The concept of gendered language being problematic, we have revised Linguax Latinx

    • Suthenboy

      What’s he done now? I wouldn’t call him the worst. There are plenty of lefties out there that really, really should not try to cross the road in front of me but Juan isn’t one of them.

      The guy is a lefty and does engage in dishonesty but….I find it hard to dislike him as much as I do most lefties.

      • Hyperion

        Yeah, Juan is just dumb as a box of rocks. He’s sort of the sad sack, token lefty guy, of Fox News.

      • C. Anacreon

        I often feel sorry for him. On The Five it’s as if he’s sitting on the ledge in the dunking tank, waiting for Gutfield or one of the others to throw a ball that drops him into the water,

        The show would be better if it was a bit more balanced, perhaps three conservatives and two progs rather than four conservatives and one not-too-bright prog.

      • Hyperion

        Kennedy laughed at him last time I saw it. He just looked hapless as usual. Sometimes I think he’s almost embarrassed, but if you’re going to play the useful idiot, you gotta play.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Other than his politics, he’s mostly seemed like a decent guy with a solid background.

  35. Yusef drives a Kia

    Wunderground is giving me 120 with a Heat index of 129, take that Death Valley!

    • KibbledKristen

      I would die walking from the house to the car

      • Rhywun

        Yeah, hard pass.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        My AC can only hold at about 88, no lower,
        A 32 degree delta is just fine

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      try 122/131, I’m not going out there, HELLLL No!

  36. UnCivilServant

    Okay, so this bottle of gifted wine says it is a blend of Pinot Noir, Malbec, and Petite Sirah.

    I’m thinking of using it in a stew base. That reminds me, how much simmer time between carrots and potatos so that they’re both properly cooked at the same time?

    • kinnath

      That is a strange blend. Sounds good for stew.

    • Suthenboy

      I have been known to pull carrots from the garden, rinse them off and eat them…i.e. it doesnt matter how cooked carrots are. Potatoes…not so much.

    • pan fried wylie

      This is why I don’t eat vegetables.

      • pan fried wylie

        Alternatively: cut the potatoes to about the same size as the carrots and stop overthinking everything.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        “stop overthinking everything.” Well, He iS a Glib, what choice does he have?

      • straffinrun

        Heh.

      • Gender Traitor

        “If you’re happy and you know it, overthink.
        If you’re happy and you know it, overthink.
        If you’re happy and you know it and you really want to blow it,
        If you’re happy and you know it, overthink.”

      • UnCivilServant

        Not sure if you saw, wylie, but the dragon bowl was Made in Japan.

      • pan fried wylie

        [eyeroll icon specially imported from japan too]

      • UnCivilServant

        See, not everything is made in china.

      • pan fried wylie

        Pointless stuff, sure.

    • Chipwooder

      Some people might scoff at this and say “oh, that’s not really stew”, but……I don’t like how mushy veggies tend to get in stews, so I often will roast them in the oven and then add them to the stew shortly before serving.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        That sounds like a great idea, thanks!

    • R C Dean

      Depends on how big they are.

      • UnCivilServant

        Assuming cut to the same size, none large than one inch.

      • R C Dean

        How soft/crunchy do you want the carrots?

      • pan fried wylie

        “flaccid penis”

      • R C Dean

        Put ’em in at the same time.

      • The Hyperbole

        Put all but one piece of the potatoes in the stew 12 minutes and 31 secs before the carrots. put the last potato piece in after the stew is finished cooking, If you get the raw potato in your bowl you are the king of dinnertime.

      • Cancelled

        and sacrificed to the Gods to bring Breakfast the next morning?

    • KibbledKristen

      Now I’m craving short ribs. But I don’t really cook in the summer. First cool day (high temp under 70) I always cook butternut soup and roast chicken. May have to switch that up for some kind of red meat stew.

      • pan fried wylie

        Who else likes butternut squash? Particularly the soup. My mom loved it, I can’t stand it. Any other sexists in the audience should see where I’m going with this…

      • Suthenboy

        I love butternut squash soup….what kind of monster doesnt?

        butternut, onion, bacon, chicken stock. Simple and delicious.

      • pan fried wylie

        Well, not butternut then, but think there are any foods that show a sex-divided preference? I didn’t have any other examples behind my skimpy concept.

        Mom’s version didn’t include bacon, which kinda sounds like cheating. “Oh, you don’t like X? Dumbass, just X, Y, Z, bacon, A, and, B, Voila!”

    • KibbledKristen

      What. The. Fuck.

      Titania got nuked (again) the other day

    • leon

      Thou shalt not mock the nobles!

    • straffinrun

      The temperature is Fahrenheit 439 and rising.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Amazing, giving the antifa and commie accounts promoting acts of violence and criminality.

      And by amazing, mean unsurprising.

      • Hyperion

        Those are peaceful protesters for a noble cause.

    • Rhywun

      Get off Twitter, Earth. It could not be clearer.

      • straffinrun

        But that’s where the conversation is!

        -Dumb response from battered wives

      • Hyperion

        Never had a Twatter account. Left Facebook 12 year ago. Was on Parler for a while, but it just bored me. I’t like the reverse of Twitter on the conservative side. No progs will hang around there because they’re so outnumbered, not what they are used to. Outside of that, posting a clever or even not clever meme, means more to those people than the best written words. Don’t go there looking for intellectual conversation. Just say that progs suck with your best meme, and you’re good. Outside of that, it’s buggy and everyone seems to follow everyone else.

    • Suthenboy

      I cant believe it took this long.

      • Hyperion

        The most amazing thing is that Mark Dice is still on there. He must have some heavy dirt on Jack.

    • Hyperion

      They were getting pwned too much.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      They are back up.

      • Rhywun

        Something something process something punishment

      • Hyperion

        They were picking on Twatter’s democrats too much. And the articles were pretty hard to tell from the truth sometimes.

      • straffinrun

        Oh, the old testing the water/psyche, we’ll do it for real next time. Twitter pulls that shit all the time.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      I’m guessing that there is an algorithm that automatically suspends an account that gets too many reports within a certain period of time. It would be very easy to coordinate an attack to take someone offline that way.

  37. straffinrun

    The campground we’re staying at “requests that guests wear a mask during their stay”. Uh, no. None of the campers are obliging this stupid request. Still nice to get out of the city. Morning walk is wonderful. See if you can spot me.

    https://ibb.co/pxwmTjq

    • KibbledKristen

      Purty!!! I can’t wait to go skiing in Japan

      • Gustave Lytton

        I think you have to get off the slopes for 10 minutes every 50 minutes. And wear a toque that completely covers your hair while on skis.

        /might be mixing up recreational activities

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I see the shadow from the cameraman, but, damn where are you?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Maybe taking a leak in the upper right corner?
        /This is fun

      • straffinrun

        Was gonna do exactly that, but changed muh mind.

      • Ted S.

        He’s the 外人。

    • C. Anacreon

      Guessing that’s your shadow?

      • R C Dean

        Or STEVE SMITH’s shadow.

    • pan fried wylie

      You’re the chick with the rack with the caption “Men, You Don’t Need Viagra If You Do This Once A Day”?

    • Sensei

      左のバカ?

    • Mojeaux

      I think you’re the body in that trash-bag-looking rock (or is it?).

      • straffinrun

        I may be a ghost. Stumbled upon this old shrine.

        https://ibb.co/4mTVYTw

      • Surly Knott

        Nice.

      • Not Adahn

        The shrine might be old, but the drain is new.

      • UnCivilServant

        The concrete foundations say the shrine isn’t that old.

      • Not Adahn

        ISTR that renovations are a pretty normal thing with Shinto shrines.

      • UnCivilServant

        If the whole thing burns to the ground, they’ll rebuild from scratch and claim it’s still 400 years old.

      • Not Adahn

        Well, yeah. Especially if the thing is not the building it’s being housed in.

    • Ted S.

      So you finally got there?

      • straffinrun

        Well, yeah. Just stayed at the one we mistakenly went to.

  38. straffinrun

    Cicadas look at Jim Carey and ask, “You really think that is the most annoying sound in the world? Check this out.”

    • Sensei

      The ones I can hear over Skype when I talk to my friend in Nagoya?

      Never heard anything that bad here on the east coast.

    • Suthenboy

      Cicadas are a constant here. The most homesick I ever felt was living outside of Louisiana for a year and then watching the movie ‘The Last of the Mohicans’ and in one scene the background noise included both cicadas and bluejays. I knew then I was going home come hell or high water.

      • straffinrun

        Makes sense. I’ve never felt homesick in my life. I understand why people feel it, but just never had it.

      • Hyperion

        You could be like me, I moved around so damn much I don’t even know what a home is. Maybe some day.

      • straffinrun

        You really can’t ever “go home” once you’re gone long enough. My hometown feels more alien than, say, Seoul.

      • Hyperion

        Yeah, I get it. The only 2 places I’ve ever really felt was home, was Simi Valley, CA, and my grandfather’s place down in Eastern, KY and I didn’t even live there except a couple of years, but I’d go down there and spend summer every year during my teen years. Lots of hiking in the mountains and camping, lots of fishing, it was great. I hated IN when I moved there, and I’ve never felt at home in MD, I can’t wait to get the hell out of here.

      • Timeloose

        Sounds like the Poconos. I hear there’s an airport for sale.

      • Not Adahn

        I haven’t been back to my original home town to feel any kind of alienation or that it’s passed me by.

        I went a long time without having a place that I considered “home.” My parents moved out of state when I was in college, and of course your first few jobs/residences out of college are temporary. But then I fell in with a good group of people and Austin became “home.”

      • Suthenboy

        We own land that has been in the family for five generations. It was a godforsaken wilderness that my ancestors hacked out farms on when you couldn’t give that land away. It’s in my blood. When I die I have instructed the following generation to just take me there and toss me out anywhere on that land. Or bury me there. Or scatter ashes, I dont care, just leave me there.

      • Gustave Lytton

        First time I really heard them was walking through Tulane. Wife stopped someone to ask what was causing the sound because she couldn’t believe it was a small insect.

  39. Hyperion

    Damn, I drank too much beer last night. Didn’t really want to drink any beer today, but how else do you get rid of a hangover besides a couple beers. I know, don’t drink. Too late for that.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Make sure to eat first, it helps the next day when your realize your starving

      • Hyperion

        I ate before I started. My wife is like my mum in that regard. She’ll get mad if I drink without eating.

    • TARDIS

      Census Yusef, “What is your approximate supply of Tall Cans???”

      • straffinrun

        Nice. Let me check your thermostat while I’m here.

      • Hyperion

        Improperly installed thermostat! Probably been taking advice from Hyperion!

      • TARDIS

        I changed the downstairs thermostat while I was on LOA to a Wi-Fi one. If I get another one for upstairs, I can mess with my shut-ins from work.

      • Hyperion

        Thank God, my tall cans just arrived. I am saved from this hangover! I hope. My wife is laughing at me for being so buzzed last night. I was yelling at my brother because we were co-oping a game and he kept doing stupid shit.

      • TARDIS

        You have beer delivery?

      • Hyperion

        Yup, Drizly. 15-20 minutes, it’s great.

      • TARDIS

        And of course, GA got no.

        From my youth:
        Do you guys deliver?

      • Hyperion

        The bad thing here is the blue laws. I mean depending on where you are.

        If you’re in Baltimore county, no sales on Sunday. In Howard county, you can buy beer 24 hrs a day, 365 days a year. In Baltimore City, no one knows what the rules are, in fact, the entire city has no fucking idea what they’re doing except for stealing everyone’s money they can get their hands on.

        But all the ones out of the city have stopped delivering, and the one little deli near me that had carry out liquor sales on Sunday, went out of business after 59 years because of the stupid Corona shutdowns, and Baltimore City is still the only place around here doing anything like that, everyone else is back to business as usual.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      I was guessing weed.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Why not Both?

      • Hyperion

        There for a while when I was in my 20s, it was both, always both. I had lots of friends the same way. You just didn’t have one without the other. Then I stopped weed, but I never really got over the beer.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I’m big on Wake and Bake, then I ho about my day, then after dinner we smoke a bit more, not like when I was younger,

      • Ted S.

        I didn’t know you ho about your day, not that there’s anything wrong with that.

      • Hyperion

        He’s pretending to support Camela, to throw the commies off.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Weed, but what I got was similar, 70 calls in 6 hours, and 1 Survey completed

    • Rhywun

      This census is going to be an even bigger shitshow than usual.

      For those who don’t know, the census is followed by tons of litigation from blue districts the end result of which is “adjustments” they pull out of their ass. Because race, of course.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        It already is, Trust me, No one wants to play, and I really don’t blame them,

      • whahappan

        Filled out my census online, but got some kind of “Covid census” lady show up. What’s up with that, is that legit? (Figured you might know.)

  40. Hyperion

    Trump should pardon Snowden and de-schedule weed all in the same day. Then send Kanye out to announce it. I just really do want to see dems shit themselves to death.

    • Cancelled

      Pardon him, and award him a Presidential Medal of Freedom.

      • Gustave Lytton

        August 8 would have been a perfect date.

      • Rhywun

        HH!

      • Gustave Lytton

        Oh crap. I forget about that.

        I was going with Nixon’s resignation and the spying on a rival political party and campaign n

      • Hyperion

        “award him a Presidential Medal of Freedom”

        Better up that order of depends…

      • pan fried wylie

        “Unfortunately, due to COVID shortages….”

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Hell Yes! where else in my life can I find this?
      the stuff I dreamed of as a Kid, Fuck Dick Tracy Watches!

    • Mojeaux

      People are so fucking creative and brilliant it’s amazing. That’s one thing I love about the internet: You get a whole lot more than just what the gatekeepers of commerce allow you to have.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Smartphones help a lot, great quality video and instant uploads, Fun and Educational, We get to see riots! and Cats!

      • Hyperion

        More cats, less riots, please? What about riot control ninja cats?

      • pan fried wylie

        Obviously the riotcontrol ninjacats have lasers.

      • TARDIS

        Shoguns of Swing. Nice.

    • Hyperion

      These little Asian girls are out of control, someone has to do something!

      I like the heavy metal ones the best.

    • The Hyperbole

      Her channel’s featured video is Thunderstruck, is it a law that everyone that plays some odd stringed instrument has to use Thunderstruck as their featured video?

      • But Enough About My Prostate

        Yes. Yes it is.

      • Not Adahn

        SEO is a homogenizing bitch.

      • The Hyperbole

        Stringed Entertainment Obligation?

  41. But Enough About My Prostate

    Mostly of interest to my fellow Canuck Glibs, but what the Hell:

    Canada’s Finance Minister, Bill Morneau, resigned both from the portfolio and his seat as an MP ’bout 45 minutes ago now. Sacrificial Lamb, thrown under the bus either by or for The Hair That Walks Like A Man™ in response to tanking polls due to the WE scandal. In a just world, this would trigger a non-confidence vote followed by a Federal election (which would be bad for the Libs, ’cause the CPC has actually pulled ahead of the Libs in the latest polls).

    Sadly, we do not live in a just world.