Poll: You’re Welcome

by | Aug 31, 2020 | Poll | 429 comments

There has been much written online about the phrase “you’re welcome” falling out of fashion.

 

 

It seems the use of “you’re welcome” is a sure sign that someone is older and/or assumes a more formal relationship to the person being addressed. Younger people are much more likely to say “no problem” or something similar.

Do you prefer the use of one over the other? Some other phrase? Do you even notice when someone uses such phatic expressions?

Discuss. Thank you.

 

 

About The Author

SP

SP

I've got an idea! How about we just stick to the Constitution as written and then the government can leave me the fuck alone.

429 Comments

  1. Yusef drives a Kia

    your very Welcome, casually, no worries.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      “You’re very Welcome” “No worries” if casual,
      /Sloppy Yusef

  2. kinnath

    I hate “no problem” in response to “thank you”.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Agreed, like they are doing you a special favor for which you should be grateful,

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        to me, no problem is what usually comes out when somebody’s gratitude outstrips the act. You’re welcome or “glad to help” is what I use most of the time.

      • kinnath

        Your car breaks down and you call a buddy for help.

        You: Thanks for picking my up.

        Buddy: You’re Welcome.

        You: Sorry to drag you all the way out here.

        Buddy: No problem.

      • TARDIS

        Nailed it.

      • kinnath

        thanks for that

      • whahappan

        You’re welcome.

  3. UnCivilServant

    I rarely get a ‘thank you’, so I rarely have the opportunity to claim someone is welcome.

    • UnCivilServant

      It’s usually the end of someone interrupting me, making me expend needless effort on their behalf, and… they never even say thanks. It is a problem, they’re not welcome, and it wasn’t my pleasure.

    • Ted S.

      Maybe if you weren’t so uncivil you’d get more thank yous.

      • Sean

        ?

      • UnCivilServant

        No, that can’t be it.

    • Rhywun

      ^this

      I can’t remember the last time a stranger said “thank you” to me.

      I’m fine with “no problem” in familiar situations. I admit “you’re welcome” strikes me as kind of formal.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        What Rhy says. I don’t feel comfortable saying “You’re welcome” in most instances. Usually because, they aren’t.

        Saying the “no problem” lie seems far less….invitational than saying “You’re welcome”. I guess “no problem” has, included with it, the caveat of, “but, don’t make it a habit”.

  4. RAHeinlein

    My pleasure.

    • pistoffnick

      Her pleasure

      /ribbed

  5. Sean

    You’re welcome.
    No problem.
    Anytime.
    Nice tits.

    ?

    Ok, maybe just the first three.

    • TARDIS

      My pleasure.

  6. Sean

    Oh, and in a text, a friendly emoji smile is also acceptable.

  7. Aloysious

    I prefer to use ‘you’re welcome’ , but sometimes slip ‘ no problem’ in if talking to someone casually.

    ‘No worries’ makes my eye twitch.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      no worries is for when people are apologetic about being an inconvenience.

      “sorry I scheduled the meeting at 6pm”
      “no worries”

    • blackjack

      I never say no worries, hate it. I do sometimes say “no big deal” which I find less offensive for some reason.

      • But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

        “No biggie.” I hear that sometimes.

  8. Gustave Lytton

    I hate getting thanked for doing my job. No problem or not at all are minimizers for something that shouldn’t be done. You’re welcome if it’s something that might actually warrant a thank you and not a participation trophy.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      “I hate getting thanked for doing my job”
      Just doing my job, Ma’am

    • Sean

      Politeness is underrated. I will thank the waitress for serving me a glass of water.

      • UnCivilServant

        Or for a refill, or when the food arrives.

        I’m not sure if they ever notice, but I still do it anyway.

      • Sean

        I’m sure they notice. I still appreciate polite customers when I encounter them on the phone.

        The last time I had a bad server was probably 18+ years ago. His name was Chuck. I remember cuz he got a lil limerick written on the check with a bad tip.

      • TARDIS

        It is wise to save your ire until it’s time to leave. I like my food saliva, mucus, and pube free.

      • Rhywun

        #metoo

      • blackjack

        I am especially polite to servers and wait staff. Well, cashiers and any other worker who provides service. Can’t imagine how bad those jobs would suck without people being nice to you.

      • kinnath

        Smile, say thanks, tip big.

      • TARDIS

        Funny you should say that. I just got back from dinner at my favorite restaurant. It’s a good thing I only go once a year. Tip was… $52! ?

      • Rhywun

        I can.

      • DEG

        #metoo

      • Gustave Lytton

        Agree with that. Despite being a curmudgeon on the receiving side, I do try to pretend I wasn’t born in a barn and say please and thank you and not let the raging asshole mask slip too far.

    • Drake

      Yes. If I say “no problem” it means I didn’t want the thank you.

    • grrizzly

      Exactly my approach.

    • Bobarian LMD

      For me, (when it’s not my job) ‘You’re welcome’ means ‘I was glad to help and liked doing it for you. and I appreciate the thanks’ and ‘No problem’ generally means ‘You’ve asked me to do something you should be able to do yourself and your thanks doesn’t really mean shit to me. Next time do it yourself.’

  9. Urthona

    Always say ‘no problem’.

    Gen X-er.

  10. westernsloper

    Depends on the situation:
    Holding the door for someone and they say Thanks! me-“Your welcome”.*
    Helping a guy at work do something and he says thanks man. me-“No Problem”*
    Stopping some kids ball from rolling into traffic when they are chasing it and I get a thanks Mr. me-“be careful there”.*
    Helping someone get a shopping cart. me “no worries”*

    *(under breath) “fuck off”

  11. blackjack

    Willkomen isn’t even an option? Around here we get gracias a lot, obvious response is de nada.

    • Don escaped Duopoly

      I’ve never heard anyone but a student use “bitte shoen”

      • TARDIS

        We used to abuse that in high school, along with Vielen Dank. I think it really meant, “Fuck you, dork!”

      • C. Anacreon

        “Bitte ein Bit” is fun though.

      • Old Man With Candy

        That is in a contest for the world’s worst beer.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Donkey Shine.

      • UnCivilServant

        An unguent for polishing your ass?

    • pistoffnick

      Grassy-ass

    • pistoffnick

      I don’t like “de nada”

      If it was nothing, I wouldn’t be thanking you. It was obviously something.

      • blackjack

        Interestingly, our overlords at google translate “de nada” as “you’re welcome” in spanish. I just found out.

      • DEG

        It’s been a long time since Spanish class. “De nada” is how you say “you’re welcome” in Spanish. That is a correct translation.

      • pistoffnick

        But literally translated, “de nada” means “its nothing”.

      • DEG

        True.

        “De nada” and “You’re welcome” are idioms. Literal translations don’t work well.

        “De nada” is how you say “You’re welcome” in Spanish.

    • C. Anacreon

      And “de nada” means “it’s nothing” or “think nothing of it”, two other English possibilities.

      • But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

        A typical “you’re welcome” in French is “de rien” (“it’s nothing” or “not at all”).

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        “C’est la moindre des choses!”

        Usually “shure” or “of course”, maybe “de nada”.

  12. DEG

    It seems the use of “you’re welcome” is a sure sign that someone is older and/or assumes a more formal relationship to the person being addressed. Younger people are much more likely to say “no problem” or something similar.

    Do you prefer the use of one over the other? Some other phrase? Do you even notice when someone uses such phatic expressions?

    Huh. I never paid attention. I think I use “you’re welcome” with folks I don’t know well, and otherwise I switch between the two. I think.

  13. KibbledKristen

    I’m about 50/50 depending on the context. Neighbor thanks me for letting her borrow the car? “No problem”. Neighbor thanks me for birthday dinner? “You’re welcome”

  14. Rhywun

    I have a sort-of opposite problem.

    I have to hold my tongue when a cashier hands me change and I say “thank you”… and they say “you’re welcome”. I want to tell them they should be thanking me.

    • westernsloper

      Ya, I have that problem too.

      • Rhywun

        Did that job for years and I was trained to always thank the customer. Seems like that’s gone out the window, at least at the supermarket. Restaurant workers are still good about it, at least.

      • westernsloper

        Yep, I was cooking and serving burgers in my early teens and was told you always thanked the customer. In the drive through these days they are doing you a favor.

      • Ted S.

        I’ll have to check when I go shopping tomorrow whether the self-checkout kiosk thanks me. I don’t think the synthesized voice does, but there might be a thank you on the screen.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I can hear the voice in my head “Don’t forget your bags. Thank you for shopping at Kroger”

      • pistoffnick

        Do you often hear voices?

    • Drake

      Then why did you say thank you?

      • Rhywun

        I actually say a quick “thanks” when they hand me my change. Saying nothing seems impolite.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        “You’d better hope that this is correct change! I have the manager on speed dial, and I’m not afraid to call him”

        /karen

  15. blackjack

    Thank you for bring this up!

    ( we all know you’re young, just testing to verify.)

  16. hayeksplosives

    I like “You’re welcome” better because it allows acknowledgement that the task or favor performed did take some effort, but you, dear recipient, are welcome to my help all the same.

    “No problem” says it cost nothing for me: no time, money, effort, risk—it really was nothing. It diminishes the favor and possibly even implies that if it had taken effort, the favor wouldn’t have been granted.

    • Rhywun

      I don’t read anything into it when it’s among friends or co-workers. Maybe among strangers.

    • westernsloper

      That is way more thought than I put into this question. But no worries.

    • TARDIS

      “No problem” says it cost nothing for me: no time, money, effort, risk—it really was nothing. It diminishes the favor and possibly even implies that if it had taken effort, the favor wouldn’t have been granted.

      I agree. It almost implies that you were bothering someone, but it’s okay.

      It’s the opposite of “my pleasure”. If I was a chef and made a dish that someone practically begged for, then it would be my pleasure. Chic-fil-A servers, not so much. Do they go home and say, “Mom, Dad, I served 426 people today! I’m so pleased, I need a cold shower.”

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        If they had to beg you for it, it probably wasn’t your pleasure. Otherwise, you’d be making that shit constantly, and have it displayed prominently on the menu/announcement board.

    • Trolleric the Goth

      This is how I use them – but almost never say you’re welcome. That gets reserved for things like, thanks for a birthday present, thanks for buying dinner, etc. things that actually were significant. It’s a higher level of appreciation for the appreciation shown.

      helping a co-worker with something minor or easy? no problem.
      (because in that case if it really did take serious effort, there is a non-zero chance I wouldn’t have done it)

  17. Drake

    Tucker has the Kenosha Kid’s lawyer on.

    • Sean

      Lawyer is not the best speaker.

      Too many uhs.

      • Drake

        He seems like a serious guy and laid it out pretty well.

      • Sean

        Would have been more serious without all the “uhs”. Just saying.

        He was, otherwise, on point.

      • leon

        I think sending in STEVE SMYTHE, renowned woodland lawyer, would get some concessions from the prosecutor.

      • blackjack

        Must be nice to have 5 angles of video showing all three of them attacking him before they were shot. Especially that short fucker, man what an asshole! There’s also a shot of the kid bringing a fire extinguisher to help put out the midget arsonists fire ( allegedly)

  18. EvilSheldon

    I loathe the use of, “No problem.” Because it was a problem, or else I wouldn’t be thanking you for it.

    I say either, “You’re welcome,” or “My pleasure.”

    Young Gen-Xer or old Millennial, depending on where you draw the line.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Dividing line is if you remember Reality Bites in theaters.

      • C. Anacreon

        My main memory of that movie is an ex girlfriend contacting me to say she had just seen it and it was just like her life, her ex (me) was Ben Stiller, and now she was dating Ethan Hawke. Intended to sting, of course, but on further pressing the only reason she really connected me to the Stiller character was we both drove Saab convertibles.

      • blackjack

        So what if you snuck into a drive in on foot, with a portable radio and two six packs and saw Apocalypse Now ( most of it any way, before getting chased back over the fence) and then saw The Song Remians the Same the same week? I’m still not a boomer, btw.

    • Gustave Lytton

      OT- What was your IWB holster recommendation from the other day? I close the tab before I wrote it down.

      • EvilSheldon

        Lol. I did see Reality Bites in the theater. I remember mostly how bad it was.

        For AIWB holsters, I use and recommend Dark Star Gear and PHLster. Keepers Concealment, JM Custom Kydex, and Henry Holsters also make good gear. Avoid anything with a leather backer or an integrated magazine pouch.

      • Gustave Lytton

        See? It works.

        Thanks for the recommendations. I’ve not been a kydex for belt holsters or even really IWB so bit into the deep end for me.

    • hayeksplosives

      I feel the same (and posted to that effect above.)

      The “new” trend among millennials is, if they want to compliment or congratulate you on something you have/made/won or want to admire something you have, they dont say “I like your car” or “You play the piano so well” or even “I like it. Where did you get it?”

      No, they say “Jealous.” One word. Spoken or typed.

      Taking a compliment and turning it into one of the seven deadly sins is not progress. Envy is a major factor in modern politics and social justice, Not a compliment.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        that strikes this millennial as very “Valley girl” (is that still a thing?). I have an image of Paris Hilton in my head.

      • blackjack

        TSKTSKTSK, it’s still a thing, but they pretend it’s brand new. They mostly just type or say “jelly” because who can remember if the o comes before the u.

      • hayeksplosives

        I see middle aged farts use it on Facebook, but then middle aged farts on Facebook have kind of self-selected to be using cool kid lingo.

        They keep trying to make “fetch” happen.

      • C. Anacreon

        See if you can get them to make “felch” a thing instead.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Straight from the doc’s fingers….er, uh, I mean….

      • Gustave Lytton

        I’ve seen jelly here to. 😉

      • TARDIS

        ????, man!

        Probably no one will get this, but that’s fine.

      • But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

        Yeah, but when I say it, I really am expressing one of the seven deadly sins.

      • But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

        Eh, close enough. I’ll burn in Hell for any of ’em anyways.

      • Tejicano

        “the o comes before the u”

        U better make sure the o comes before u otherwise she might not let you into her bed a second time.

        At least that’s how I remember it.

      • DEG

        I have not heard this.

        I am happy I have not heard this.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        They are such idiots–that’s envy, not jealousy.

        Jealousy denotes an appropriate anger about being deprived of something that is rightfully yours. Envy lacks the right to claim whatever the object is.

      • Mojeaux

        I have seen it used (and used it myself) when the person isn’t really interested, can’t say, “I like X” and wants to end any conversation about said thing. “I’m jelly” or “jelly” stops the conversation.

        I have seen it used that way. Not that that’s its purpose.

    • hayeksplosives

      I can sing the rest without looking it up.

      And yes, I can run a trot line too.

      • blackjack

        When ever some one offends me deeply, I say ” I’d like to spit some beechnut in that dude’s eye” and nobody ever get’s it.

      • hayeksplosives

        The ones that don’t get it clearly don’t know shit from apple butter anyway.

        Piss on ‘em.

      • pistoffnick

        “And yes, I can run a trot line too.”

        *fans self with fedora*

        Hello, ma’am! How you doin’?

    • pistoffnick

      I gotta wonder if Bocephus, himself, has ever put a pig in the ground, or put beer on ice, or ran a trot line, or made his own moonshine, whisky, or wine.

      I mean, I enjoy the sentiment, being raised a farm boy.

      On the other hand, he did survive falling off a mountain…

      • l0b0t

        19 year old Bocephus on Hee Haw doing a fantastic arrangement of Midnight Special – https://youtu.be/ChzWmhI6Cy8

      • pistoffnick

        I have loved some women
        And I have loved Jim Beam
        They both tried to kill me
        In 1973

      • TARDIS

        The background vocals ruin it for me.

  19. The Hyperbole

    If its a dude thanking me I make a noncommittal little nod, if it’s a chick I say something like “Anything for you, Sweet cheeks” and try to slap her ass.

  20. Drake

    Lawsuit?

    Portland arrested this guy for bringing an illegal gun to a riot. He was released with no charges. Now it looks like he straight up murdered a man for being a Trump supporter.

    • blackjack

      Portland officials haven’t named him yet. The 4 chan guys outed him. Odds of them taking any responsibility are next to nil. They don’t even acknowledge antifa exists.

    • Chafed

      The lawsuit won’t go anywhere. Prosecutors have absolute immunity on charging decisions.

  21. Crusty Juggler

    Did any of you freaks have a waterbed / shag carpet combo, and if so what was it like?

    • kinnath

      Shag was everywhere for about a decade. Waterbeds were cheap and comfortable. So yes to both.

      • Crusty Juggler

        They were not comfortable but I am still trying to talk the chick into one.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I think water is supposed to go in it and the chick on top of it.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        ^This.

        Crusty, if you want to do the ol’ Pump ‘n’ Glug, why not just use a pool…or, a lake?

    • TARDIS

      Hardwood floors are more a recent phenomenon, so yeah, shag carpets are fine. Cue ’70’s music. My wife keeps asking why I sleep in the guest room. I miss my old bed/mattress. So what? It’s just a Cali-King pillow top though.

    • blackjack

      The cool kids had both…in a customized van.

    • pistoffnick

      Girlfriend had a waterbed. No shagging was done upon it.

      We had green shag carpet in our living room and a 13 inch black and white TV that got 3 channels. Grandpa and I would watch wrassling (Baron Von Raschke and his claw) while eating fig newtons.

    • Not Adahn

      I miss having a waterbed.

    • Drake

      About 25 years ago. I really liked the waterbed.

  22. Timeloose

    I use “ No Problem” in informal occasions with people I know. I use your welcome in formal occasions. I never put much thought into it.

    My pleasure sounds fake to me, but that’s my North East bias. I never heard it frequently until I moved to the south.

  23. leon

    I just say “Damn Straight” When people say “Thank You”.

    • leon

      Also works “Yeah, you oghtta be”.

      • blackjack

        Just give a long speech with biblical verses proving that you had every right to shoot them between the eyes, but did them this small favor instead. Oughta last around 3-5 minutes to have the full effect, I’d guess.

    • hayeksplosives

      “Anytime.”

      “No worries”

      “Someday, and that day may never come, I will call upon you to do a service for me.”

      • leon

        You Owe me.

        For particularly annoying things, reminding me that they owe me a blood debt is also acceptable.

      • Fatty Bolger
  24. Fatty Bolger

    Definitely a generational thing. My daughter explained this to me from her generation’s perspective. To them, saying “you’re welcome” implies that you actually went out of your way to help somebody. It has to be more than just doing your job or doing something that is expected.

    • kinnath

      And this is exactly opposite of what it should be.

      Please; thank you; you’re welcome. The standard sequence for any transaction.

      No Problem is the response to someone “apologizing” for inconveniencing you. “Hey sorry about — No problem”

      When I say thank you and you say no problem then you are saying I was an inconvenience to you even if it was trivial.

      • Fatty Bolger

        OK boomer.

        ?

      • kinnath

        Damn straight. 😉

      • leon

        Wait… He didn’t say thank you.

      • kinnath

        Boomer doesn’t catch that he’s being insulted.

      • Broswater

        Ok zoomer

      • Raven Nation

        No worries mate!

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        It’s the way FB describes at my workplace. I’ve never said “your welcome” to anyone professionally and I can’t remember ever getting one. It’s usually “no problem” or a “my pleasure” needed in a rare formal context. It extends across all generations and positions… IC to Senior Execs.

  25. Fourscore

    This morning I brought my barber an extraordinary amount of produce, he was extremely happy, his new wife is a charming Polish lady. Anyway, he was generous with the thank yous and as I was getting ready to leave he said the haircut was free, only I didn’t hear him. I left the shop and about 2-3 miles away I told my wife I forgot to pay him, he was busy with his next customer, etc, so I turned around and went back to pay and he assured me that he’d said it was free.

    I insisted that I wanted to pay, he was doing his job during business hours, I brought stuff in that I do for fun. I tipped my regular 25% and another “Thank You” and I said “You’re Welcome”. I didn’t bring the stuff for a hair cut, I brought it because I wanted to. We took another heavy load to a VN finger nail shop, they were very happy, they were pleased to see some things that aren’t available in stores locally, veggies that they really like. Thank yous again, that’s all geezers need.

    I believe I mostly hear “You’re Welcome”, maybe because small town people aren’t caught up to the latest changes in terminology/ slang, whatever, man. Maybe I don’t hear anything and I’m making stuff up like Biden. Anecdotally, I saw a number of Trump signs along the road, Maga hats at Walmart but not one Biden sign.

    • Mojeaux

      I finally saw campaign signage in my little municipality. One small Trump sign. One small Biden sign a few blocks up the hill.

  26. JG43

    Thanks to kinnath and Neph, I think, I’m now a customer of SG Ammo and MinuteMan.

    Somebody here posted a link to BulkAmmo and I checked them this morning. They had 71 boxes of 1000 (Hornady 55 gr 5.56) when I checked for $650 a box. An hour later after I got the okie dokie from Mrs. 43 and found my credit card, all were gone.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Bummer, my needs are simple, and in stock

    • kinnath

      SG Ammo has been my go to for about three years.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Cheaper than Dirt, I looked at a lot of others, but they have what I want, every time,
        YMMV

      • kinnath

        I’ve found them to be not-so-cheap. Although, I have bought from them.

      • Plinker762

        9 years of SG Ammo for me.

    • DEG

      Someone here, I think Q, suggested this site for ammunition. It has been useful to me.

  27. grrizzly

    Planned to vote in the Dem primary tomorrow to kick a Kennedy out of Congress. But just received a spam text message and changed my mind. Apparently, a Republican is running a write-in campaign to get on the ballot. She needs 2000 votes. If she succeeds tomorrow, Ayanna Pressley won’t run unopposed in November. It’s embarrassing that one of the two national parties doesn’t put anyone on the ballot.

    • Raven Nation

      If I’m reading Wikipedia correctly, there are 7 House seats uncontested in November. That doesn’t count one or two where a D or R is being opposed only by a minor party candidate.

      Interestingly, the Dems are running candidates in really safe R seats in western KS & western NE.

    • DEG

      Was it you or tarran that posted about Massachusetts having less political diversity than the Soviet Union?

      • blackjack

        Dey got some wicked unity ovah dere!

      • grrizzly

        Probably me. There were multiple candidates on the ballot in the USSR in the late ’80s.

    • KSuellington

      That’s the bald bitch right? Wow, she is a piece of work. Her campaign manager is a straight up racist. I also can’t stand to see someone running unopposed. It makes an even larger mockery of the whole voting thing than it already is.

      • Gustave Lytton

        I think so. The squad’s worst member and she’s a racist too.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Bingo! She is an ambulatory, talking piece of shit. And her campaign manager/whatever the hell that grifter is.

  28. DrOtto

    I use “no problem”, but admit it feels lazy. I am old enough to have seen Reality Bites in the theatre with my girlfriend at the time, and now wife.

  29. UnCivilServant

    *sigh*

    I’m on vacation, but work called because the batch server stopped working. Luckily it’s a known problem with a known fix, so I was able to tell them what they needed to do.

    I’m not technically on call, but no one told Production Control I was on vacation.

    • UnCivilServant

      I don’t remember if they said thank you at the end of the call.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        No Worries!

    • The Hyperbole

      But did you say “You’re welcome” or “Fuggedaboutit” when they thanked you?

  30. Raven Nation

    Student: e-mails question which requires something other than a packaged answer.

    Me: 30 minutes of research into campus rules. Composes lengthy e-mail response with options and offer to help further.

    Student: *crickets*

    Me: screw you and your parents to the tenth generation

    Note: this is why I don’t answer work e-mails when I’ve been drinking.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      I find the opposite annoying at work. (I know I’m the outlier)

      paralegal: “What do you want to do with this patent?”

      me: “Abandon it.”

      me: *files the conversation away*

      paralegal, 12 hours later: “thanks!”

    • Crusty Juggler

      I usually respond to work emails while drinking in a simple, dickish way.

      It makes the next day a little more interesting.

  31. Animal

    I always use “you’re welcome.”

  32. leon

    Biden accusing trump of stoking violence is the “I know you are but what am I?” of politiking. They had 3 months. 3 Months to figure out a narrative, and they were fucking caught off guard because they actually believed that the riots were going to sweep them into power.

    • blackjack

      Yeah, Trump is smarter than the average republican, but hot damn these are terrifically stupid dems.

      • hayeksplosives

        And 40% of the population will vote for them regardless of what they say and do.

      • TARDIS

        I sincerely hope it’s down to that level. I’m more pessimistic. I say 45%.

    • Fatty Bolger

      I thought it was “stroking violence?” But yeah, it’s weak, and everybody knows it.

      • hayeksplosives

        That’s what she said.

    • Tejicano

      It’s almost like they believe they will get an advantage by winning the GOP’s “The Stupid Party” title away from them.

  33. Crusty Juggler

    Follow up: beads hanging from the ceiling as room dividers: pros and cons.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        WTF…are you crab-walking around your home?

        Oh…..a bit of bragging about your rug, eh?

    • kinnath

      Only if the smoke is so thick you can barely see through it.

    • blackjack

      If you want authenticity, you gotta use wooden wire spools for tables and cinder blocks with boards for shelves. Maybe nail up some wooden milk crates and then fill then with knick knacks. Lotta tapestrys and candles and a stack of vinyl albums just sitting against the wall.

    • Mojeaux

      I like.

    • straffinrun

      Beads of what?

      • blackjack

        Beads of sweat.

        Don’t fuck with me. It was my moms favorite song and all this hippy decor talk reminds me, and besides, that is (no shit) Duane Allman on guitar.

      • straffinrun

        Damn. That song is smokin’.

  34. UnCivilServant

    I was looking for headphone made in the usa, and that led me to Grado’s site, which led me to the storefront where they sell their stuff, and to this guy which has a lovely coupon code blurb:

    GET FREE SHIPPING ON TWO OR MORE SCHIIT ITEMS WITH COUPON CODE FREESCHIIT

    • Old Man With Candy

      Avoid Grado.

      • Old Man With Candy

        They are not very good. Really rough frequency response, distortion is higher than I’d want to see- or hear.

        Disclaimer: I am no headphone expert (I only wear mine when I’m hiking), but I’ve measured quite a few of them over the years.

        Schitt has been variable in the past, but their newer stuff is quite good.

      • Gender Traitor

        I have Grado headphones and like them fine. Have they been cancelled or something?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I’m also a fan of SM 57’s, go figure,
        /tried and true

      • Gender Traitor

        I believe I’ve heard tell about one that was literally run over by a truck and still worked.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Workhorse of the Rock world, I have several Condenser mics for studio work, but still end up recording with the 57s, consistent sound.
        2 are 5 years old, 2 are 35 years old, no difference in quality,

      • UnCivilServant

        So what you’re saying is “They do make them like they used to”?

  35. Old Man With Candy

    I always smile, look grandfatherly, crinkly my eyes, and softly say, “Don’t lie, you ungrateful cunt.”

    • Gadfly

      I want to believe this is true.

    • Bobarian LMD

      The yellow thing on her shoulder is to pin back the skin folds?

      • Festus' Mustache

        Those ARE the skin folds.

  36. PudPaisley

    Most of the time I say Your Welcome, but also use no problem or sure thing for something simple like holding the door at the gas station.

    Occasionally I’ll throw in a no problemo, although I may have to reconsider the sexist nature of this reply. I may have to change it to no problemx.

    One thing that does bother me is when people say sorry for no reason. It seems to be mostly females and to me usually seems like an instinctive, timid reply. I usually use no problem in this circumstance, but when my sister does it I say apology not accepted because there was nothing to apologize for. Trying to get her to stop using it, but it seems to be a habit like saying like.

    • whiz

      You need to enunciate that apostrophe-r-e a little better.

      /Ted’S apprentice

      • PudPaisley

        Doh!

    • Old Man With Candy

      Do you know if Tenuta’s survived? We’ll be moved to violence if it didn’t.

      • PudPaisley

        I didn’t hear anything about damage, so I’m guessing no. I think I would have heard about that.

        Some of the assholes did burn down the Danish Brotherhood, which has been there forever. They also started the Dinosaur Museum on fire, but they caught them right after starting the fire and extinguished it.

        Several of my friends became “right wing militia” members on Tuesday afternoon and were protecting neighborhoods and businesses. It would not have turned out well for the antifa fucks if they came across a couple of those guys. They were really good shots in Jr. High.

      • dbleagle

        I agree with you there OMWC. I have been enjoying their wares since the early 1960’s. Luckily it seems out of the main riot zone.

    • Crusty Juggler

      Just get to the Bruno Mars kid.

      If you dorks already covered this cover it again, bros.

    • hayeksplosives

      Tik Tok Holocausters? Did I just awake, Rip Van Winkle style in another era?

      I need to buy Ted Kazinski’s cabin, move it and NOT bomb anyone.

      • hayeksplosives

        Move IN not move IT.

        Damned autocorrect. Ok, maybe one or two bombs…

      • C. Anacreon

        You’ll have to buy it from the Newseum museum in DC. They have the intact cabin on display.

        And yes, the museum has a terrible name.

      • Ted S.

        I thought the Newseum went bust.

      • Not Adahn

        So… you can probably get a good deal on that cabin then?

  37. westernsloper

    I just made the carne asada I was too lazy/not hungry enough to make last night. I might be on to something. The cooking surface was………..unique. I will tell you all about it some time.

    • Crusty Juggler

      “The cooking surface was………..unique”

      The skin of an overheated Negro slave?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Wow, never go full Retard……………

      • westernsloper

        Your moms ass.

      • Chafed

        Wife’s ass.

      • Not Adahn

        There’s a reason her Indian name was “little sizzling belly.”

  38. dbleagle

    “What really gets me pissed. I mean what really gets me pissed”* is to tell somebody “Thank you” and get a “Thank you” in return. I prefer a “Your welcome” unless it is something really small when a “No problem” seems fine. But thanking me for thanking you is bizarre.

    *Rip off from a classic Tucson ad for chimichangas.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      I’ll do that in the right situation, as in “No, Thank you, it was my pleasure to serve you”
      Fin

  39. straffinrun

    I never get a “thank you” because she’s usually not awake.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      ewwww, I know where you go………….

    • blackjack

      Roofies?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        “forget it Jake, it’s Japan”

      • straffinrun

        Why? You feeling a bit woozy? Just relax on that couch over there.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Domo arigato, Mr Quaaludo.

  40. straffinrun

    Have fun captioning this one.

    • UnCivilServant

      “What is that bright… you know… the thing… in the… um… air.”

      “That’s the sun, Joe.”

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Fly! Be Free!

    • Gender Traitor

      Not a caption but a question: Do Pittsburgh paramedics have to be rescued so often that they need their own service for it?

      • straffinrun

        ^This will be online forever. Are you fine with that? 😉

      • Gender Traitor

        Well, it says it right there on the box truck!

      • straffinrun

        Wholesome humor is as underrated as early onset pubic hair.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I’m moving from one small town to a smaller town, what is this madness you speak of?

      • dbleagle

        In your part of the state what is smaller than BHC?

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Yarnell. Good points: Ranch House Restaurant. Bad Points: Nothing else.

        Oatman: Good points: Hard to get to so not many crowds. Old-timey bar. Bad points: Tourists find it anyway. Also burro crap everywhere.

        Yucca: Live in a geo-dome!

    • Rhywun

      “Good evening, Cleveland!”

    • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

      “Joe was determined to put the pizzeria’s motto to the test”

    • Chafed

      Your car has arrived sir.

  41. Gadfly

    I use “no problem” most of the time, especially informally. Sometimes I use “sure” if I’m being very informal or the thanks seems more perfunctory than earnest.
    I use “you’re welcome” occassionally, mostly in formal situations or when someone’s “thank you” seems very sincere.
    I also find myself saying “thanks” to a “thanks” if the interaction was more transactional than one sided, such as while shopping/dining.
    I’m a millennial, for demographic purposes.

  42. kinnath

    and the lying sacks of shit continue to lie.

    Kenosha police arrested volunteers who were on their way to deliver food to protesters

    At the time, volunteers were refueling vehicles and getting gas for the generator they use for cooking, the organization said in an August 28 statement on Twitter.

    • Rhywun

      Are those the food trucks that drove in from Oregon?

      • kinnath

        Yes

    • Ted S.

      Cool link, bro!

  43. pistoffnick

    Night, yall.

    A certain deadline lurks in 3 weeks…and I got 4 weeks worth of work to do before then.

    Tomorrow is a sprint from the start…and I ain’t as young as I once was.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVmvD2Tjglk

    /normally don’t like Toby Keith

    • Gender Traitor

      ‘night, nick. And good luck, brave soldier! ::salutes::

    • Chafed

      They are killing it.

  44. kinnath

    On the bright side Kanye is on the ballot in Iowa.

    CEDAR RAPIDS, Iowa (KCRG) – Kanye West will remain on Iowa’s November general election ballot as a presidential candidate.

    The Iowa State Objection Panel dismissed two challenges to his nomination.

    The panel is made up of Iowa Secretary of State Paul Pate, Attorney General Tom Miller and Auditor Rob Sand.

    So the three percent of Iowas that are black have someone besides Joe to vote for.

    • Hyperion

      But can Kanye dole out those crony corn bucks?

    • straffinrun

      +1 excellent use of “tar baby”.

    • Gender Traitor

      Washington County Sheriff Pat Garrett

      Srsly? He was a shoe-in for that office.

    • mrfamous

      It may seem petty from the Sheriff, but ultimately he’s right. You can only offer this kind of help when you get to set the conditions of said help. Sending your guys into the fray while having to follow the same tactics Portland’s police are under is pointless. Portland has all the police it needs to put a stop to this, they just refuse to do what needs to be done to get it done. Why the hell should the sheriff volunteer his guys for the same treatment?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Absolutely no reason at all. I don’t disagree at all.

    • Don escaped Duopoly

      Is there a sheriff for Multnomah County who’s already getting paid to handle this?

      In a lot of states police are nice things for cities to have but the sheriff is constitutionally required to maintain order and enforce laws.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yes, there is and yes, by statue. But by practice and possibly other statue, the sheriff is responsible for unincorporated areas of the county (although they retain jurisdiction over the entire county but they aren’t the lead agency nor do they have funding to be), operation of the jails, process service, and court security.

        The Multnomah County Sheriff is in somewhat of a bind. While directly elected, the office budget is set by the county commission which has voiced support for antifa. His deputies have been involved in riot response and assisted PPB, particularly when county buildings have been targeted, but there just aren’t enough to handle it themselves.

    • Hyperion

      Gee, I wonder why.

      Is this going to ruin xer’s attempt to blame this on Trump?

      That would be a shame.

      Burn it to the fucking ground and lie in your bed, lefttards.

    • Chafed

      Pretty arrogant of the governor to announce the plan without consulting them.

    • Tejicano

      He actually has that on his website. I cannot fathom what he’s trying to say there – or is it possible he doesn’t even know that’s incorrect?

      • straffinrun

        Very long time running joke.

  45. peachy rex

    I hold a lot of doors and occasionally help old ladies carry heavy packages etc, so I get plenty of “thank yous”. For years, my default reply was “no problem”, but I started to wonder if that could be read as passive-aggressively implying that it *was* a problem. So I’ve recently settled on a cheerful “oh, absolutely”, often with “man/miss/ma’am” tacked on.

  46. Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

    I think the issue I have with all of this is the proscribed “challenge-response authentication” that seems to be at the heart of this. While “You’re welcome” my be the traditional way to answer “Thank you”, it’s not a law. And, the idea of this being formality really starts to make sense, the more I ponder the idea. I do think a lot of the consternation comes with so much communication being written these days, and, the younger generations supposedly (probably) having less f2f interactions.

    When you can read someone’s body language, you can usually tell if a normally rude “Cool” response to something you said actually has value and meaning to the speaker. I may be set in my ways on many things, but, I don’t want to start new wars with others simply because their way of communicating seemed off. Say, if “No problemo” became more prevalent, but, I could see sincerity in the speaker’s non-verbal communication, I’d be far less likely to get bent out of shape.

    But, usually–yeah, it was an inconvenience for me; I don’t want you thinking you’re gonna impose on me much more.

    • Plinker762

      Another strike against the stupid masks. I go more by tone and body language than the actual words.

  47. Brochettaward

    You people stayed painfully on topic for this one.

    I never thank anyone. I tell them your welcome.

    • Brochettaward

      And on this topic, you are all very welcome for the Firsts. You ungrateful cunts.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        If it’s my welcome, you’re not entitled to it.

      • Brochettaward

        I also never ask for consent.

      • SP

        Related: If someone is such a PITA that they deserve a cat butt, I’m just gonna ban them.

        TPTB are much nicer than am I.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Ooohhh, dear. Since I’m still posting, and have no nasty-grams waiting for me, I’m presuming I’m not the offender.

        If I am, my most humble apologies.

        If not; well…..I would hate to lose more members over what is, at worst, a silly, annoying kinda carry-over from the before-times (or, am I missing something?). Then again, y’all own the site, so…

      • straffinrun

        Please don’t ban Brochetta. I don’t know how to interact with the shtick, but it’s something unusual.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Try getting a reservation at Dorsia now, you fucking bastard!!

  48. Fifth Knight of the Derp Table

    Four year old niece is being rushed to the hospital for coughing up blood a week after having her tonsils out. Send good thoughts or pray or something for her please. Freaking the fuck out.

    • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

      Was this a sudden occurrence, or, had it been building up since the surgery?

      Also, will do.

      Also also, peace and calm to you.

    • Hyperion

      Prayers. How far away is the hospital? Keep us updated.

    • Deplorableme

      Oh wow, that is so scary for everyone I’m sure – keep us updated. You’re in my thoughts tonight.
      If you don’t mind answering, why did they remove them? ( I had my tonsils out when I was about 5 I think – to help with breathing issues)

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      FedExing you best wishes.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        I dunno why, but this has me giggling, at such an inopportune time.

        /Bad Diggy!

    • SP

      Best wishes. Hopefully, while scary, it’s something minor.

    • Fifth Knight of the Derp Table

      She’s checked in to the hospital. Stable and not actively bleeding. Will know more later. Thanks for the well wishes. Talk to you all later.

      • Gustave Lytton

        That sounds better than the initial, and hoping that it will be resolved soon. Do take care too.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Good to hear, and hope it’s a “mundane” situation, all things considered.

      • Chafed

        Sorry that happened. I hope it’s a lot of nothing.

    • whahappan

      Hoping for the best.

    • Grosspatzer

      Jusr dropped in – hope everything is OK.

  49. Deplorableme

    I first heard the “No Problem” response on the Caribbean island of St. Lucia at a resort we stayed at on our honeymoon back in ’97. I thought it was just a really friendly way of acknowledging that they are pleased to be able to serve us and welcoming – very island like. These days I have said No Problem and Your’e welcome and not really thought about it. Just seams very casual, which for SoCal is pretty normal, at least around here.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      “No probLEM, mon!” Wasn’t there a Sandals ad like that?

  50. R C Dean

    So I’m the only one who says “Yeah, now you owe me”?

    • leon

      What am i?! A Fucking Joke to you?

  51. The Bearded Hobbit

    Latest annoyance:

    “What would you like?”
    “I’ll have the strip.”
    “Awesome. And how would you like that cooked?”
    “Medium rare”
    “Awesome. And your sides?”
    “Baker, loaded and dinner salad, Italian”
    “Awesome. Do you want bread?”
    “Ah, yeah, I guess so.”
    “Awesome.”

    When did everything become “Awesome?”

  52. Yusef drives a Kia

    I want to say…………..

  53. Gustave Lytton

    Just watched Trumps interview with FNC. Done with him not getting my vote. He calls it Ore-gone. Everything they said about him is true. Utter monster. Should be impeached and dragged out of the WH.

    https://youtu.be/S-xJ1iJDGhs

  54. straffinrun

    Anti hero realizes he done screwed up, changes and then kicks ass.
    Tragic hero is a goddamn dope that can’t change because his head is up his ass.
    Othello wasn’t a cuck because Desdemona fucked.
    He allowed Iago to fuck his judgement.
    You want to right a wrong?
    Stick that hubris up your pelvis and do the jailhouse rock.
    Instead of changing your behaviour to become more moral,
    you changed morality to justify your behavior.
    “You’re with me or against me!”
    “Silence is violence!”
    “Burn the fucker down!”
    Listen, mother fucker, you deny that any path other than yours
    is right.
    You napalm the road I’m walking down, mace me with Agent Orange
    and then worry about my helicopters?
    Am I supposed to march like a retarded faggot zombie Jap Jew Negro
    to the beat of your beating off?
    I’m reactionary like Chernobyl.
    You think you can rape your way to power and still claim to be a virgin.
    As I often yell to my wife when she’s makin’ sammiches,
    “Tonight, I want a hero. Better yet, make it an anti hero.”

    • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

      Stick that hubris up your pelvis and do the jailhouse rock.

      That’s a spicy meatball!

    • Chafed

      Someone help me find Straff’s mefs.

    • hayeksplosives

      I mean think about it. This year, COVID has taken more lives than in any other year in the last hundred years.

      OMG. That’s not a verbal misstep or mispronunciation. That is Joe Biden. Unable to think.

      Have mercy on the poor guy and declare him mentally unfit.

      • straffinrun

        No mercy for him until he leaves.

      • hayeksplosives

        FINISH HIM!

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Where is Kung Lao when you need him?

        /What? I like the hat…

      • Tejicano

        L-O_da Effing-L

        The DNC are starting to look like a bunch of heartless monsters just for putting him up on stage and making him talk.

  55. salted earth

    I fear this whole conversation is going to make me more socially awkward as I will now be oddly aware of my response to thank you and will be trying to sus out what response is expected and least likely to cause upset.

    I’m not sure how I usually reply to a thank you…lately, at work, I’ve to stop myself from saying “You do realize they are paying me to do this” when I receive a thank you.

    • straffinrun

      Thank you for sharing.

      • salted earth

        Um…Now you owe me?

      • straffinrun

        We all owe something.

    • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

      I think a medium-effort bow and a clear “Domo” will suffice. 😉

      No–if you’re concerned about it, it would seem from this informal poll, that you probably won’t go wrong with “You’re welcome”. If those younger than you are led to think that you are formal….well, sucks to be them, if they think that’s a negative. I suspect, though, that most will be more than satisfied with that.

      • salted earth

        bows, hits head on door, looks in mirror, sees bruise on forehead

        I’ll have to practice the “You’re welcome.” I think maybe I’ve been using “Of course” as a reply to thank you which probably isn’t great.

    • hayeksplosives

      Next time someone thanks you, say “Fuck off, slaver.”

      Or state your name, rank, and serial number.

      Whatever feels more natural.

    • Plinker762

      I often thank my worker bees even though I pay them.

      It’s also important to DGAF about making people upset.

      • hayeksplosives

        Me too. Whether it’s a note to a manager acknowledging their direct report, a verbal thank you in person, or a gift (from pizza to gift cards etc).

      • salted earth

        Mostly my job is to make people happy or happy-ish. Upset people tend to draw attention and then the contagion spreads.

  56. straffinrun

    “Must one dread what others dread?”
    — Lao Tzu

  57. hayeksplosives

    Thinking about other comments above regarding regional and generational differences in the response to “thank you.”

    The American antebellum South kept English customs, such as a deeply stratified society, chivalrous in a way, having a high sense of honor, and legal ritual dueling (illegal in the North). That influence sticks to this day.

    Above we talked about the indebtedness that can accompany a favor, whether real or perceived by the other party.

    The South still has many a resident who say “Much obliged” instead of “Thank you.” There the indebtedness is explicitly stated.

    I myself have only used “much obliged” when the favor is of significance.

  58. straffinrun

    “You will always find an answer in the sound of water.”
    — Zhuangzi

    • Tres Cool

      I was at a liquor store and a guy in line behind me said, “son, you’ll never find the answer to your problems in that bottle.”
      I told him, “I know- thats why I bought two.”

      • straffinrun

        Drink slowly and reverently, as if it is the axis on which the world earth revolves – slowly, evenly, without rushing toward the future.

      • BakedPenguin

        “To alcohol! The cause of… and solution to… all of life’s problems”

        -Homer Simpson

      • hayeksplosives

        Tres will be here all week, ladies and gentlemen! Tip your waitresses, folks!

  59. hayeksplosives

    “Plans are nothing; planning is everything.”

    —Dwight Eisenhower

    “Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.”

    —Mike Tyson

    “Hope is not a strategy.”

    —Rudy Giuliani

    • salted earth

      Setting off fireworks in a crowd seems completely safe.
      Has anyone been checking the hospitals in Portland to see how many “protesters” have been injured?

      • straffinrun

        Must be for than a few injured. Goddamn arsonists. Doesn’t get much more evil than that.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        How broadly do we get to define self defense/defense of others?

        Asking for friends and myself.

  60. Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

    To Chafed, et al: Any chance the feds could do something with the Portland DA’s office, for violation of civil rights? Any chance they could bring charges on the killer, themselves?

  61. limey

    Why didn’t my IFLA horror-scope for this week say “messy, untidy, disarray, cleaning, shoulder pain, mice*?”

    Good morrow, m’Glibs.

    *The mice aren’t related to the mess, but they are adorable.

    • Sean

      ?☕

    • UnCivilServant

      Mice are not adorable.

      Luckily, there has been no sign of them around my place.

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, limey/JD.

      • Festus' Mustache

        Mornin’ All! Isn’t that Mayor the same one that did the Bluth walk after being booed by his “supporters” a few weeks ago?

      • Gender Traitor

        Mornin’, Fes! Which mayor?

      • Festus' Mustache

        That Portland asshoe. I’ll try to find it.

      • Festus' Mustache

        Memory-holed. Imagine that?

      • Sean
      • Festus' Mustache

        No but close. It was a daytime event and he just slunk away from the crowd, head down and dispirited.

    • Not Adahn

      I explicitly called out Jupiter retrograde-Mercury.

    • limey

      A customer is valuable. A repeat customer is priceless.

      • Festus' Mustache

        Sow bear and cubs haven’t been back since Thursday. Shot dead by the authoratees, I presume. Cops up here treat bears like your fine officers relate to pet dogs.

    • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

      I’d rather hold out for the full prime rib moon.

    • limey

      The Moon has a very thin atmosphere

      As an uneducated rube, I was under the impression that the Moon had 0 atmosphere.

      • Gender Traitor

        Which is why the restaurants there are such a disappointment.

    • Festus' Mustache

      There are at least three Glibs that will be celebrating tonight!

      • Gender Traitor

        My impression is that there are many more than three Glibs who celebrate every night.

      • Festus' Mustache

        I meant about the “Corn Moon” referred to in the article. Yes, I am a 15 year-old boy.

      • Gender Traitor

        It’s as good an excuse as any. Here – have a tune for next month’s moon. (Not the original artist. You’re welcome.)

      • Festus' Mustache

        I was a huge Neil fan. I owned that album. I have a hard time listening to him anymore. It’s not just the woke and hypocrisy. Maybe a little fatigue going on there. When you live up here there are rules about Canadian Content. they should just revoke my Citizenship because I don’t care for Joni much, either. That is a pretty good album and doesn’t get played much but of course he’s got about 25 that would fit in that box.

      • Gender Traitor

        I like his songs more when covered by other, better singers.

    • Festus' Mustache

      These staffers will be going door to door in Nome before the week is out. The Dems have switched their strategy at whiplash inducing speed. It amuses me.

    • Sean

      I guess since no one is watching the NFL there’s always this…

      ? ?

    • cyto

      Oh… actual takedown, not metaphorical takedown.

      Dude must have done something to the cop, because officer McLinebacker had a little payback in his heart.

      • Festus' Mustache

        Not sure if I’m cool with the face-blasting after the take down but I suppose those two are well acquainted by this point. What do I know? I wasn’t there.

      • Sean

        I have no fucks to give for the rioters.

        Fuck around, find out.

        I have never been assaulted by a police officer.

    • invisible finger

      Only black Marxist lives matter.

  62. invisible finger

    “Thank you” and “you’re welcome “ are shortened versions of phrases. I am fine with that but it is the reason I choose whichever phrase for the situation.

    For example I never say “you’re welcome “ as a customer at a retailer. “You’re welcome to my money?” Fuck that, the retailer has to earn my money every time I’m there. I may say “thank you” as in “thank you for not being careless with the items I just paid for”.

    At a restaurant I will usually say “you’re welcome “ if the waitstaff does a good job although it will be reflected in the tip. However I expect some form of nonverbal acknowledgement of the tip – just taking the payment without looking at it annoys me. This is because I often give a server an extra cash tip in lieu of or in addition to the signed credit slip.

    For everyday favors I do for neighbors, coworkers, etc. they get “you’re welcome “ if I’m happy to help them again or if they seem grateful. Otherwise they get some other acknowledgement.

    On a related note I do not like waitstaff that takes an order without writing it unless they can repeat everyone’s order back before leaving the table. That’s usually not hard for a party of two but whenever I notice it I add a special request – like lemon for my water or an extra napkin – just to make sure they are paying full attention to us. If they succeed I increase the tip. Half the time they forget something.

    • Sean

      On a related note I do not like waitstaff that takes an order without writing it unless they can repeat everyone’s order back before leaving the table. That’s usually not hard for a party of two but whenever I notice it I add a special request –

      I almost always make a special request. Usually swapping out the carbs, and I have yet to have to send anything back.

      • cyto

        You two should watch Cobra Kai on Netflix.

        It addresses this very topic, along with a laundry list of genX issues with today’s society. Quite entertaining.

      • Sean

        I watched all but the last episode of season 1 when it was on youtube.

        I’m way behind on many, many shows I like.

      • cyto

        I avoided the recommendation last year, and then Netflix shoved it in my face the other day at a vulnerable moment (stuck waiting). So I watched the whole thing on my phone. Even given that limitation, it was very good. I laughed out loud a couple of times, which probably made me look more than a little insane, since I was in public.

        Also has some fairly poignant moments about how hard it is to be a parent, or even just a responsible adult.

        It is definitely something unexpected for me, which is always a treat.

      • Sean

        I’m happy to hear it’s on Netflix now. I’ll try to add it back into my viewing schedule.

    • cyto

      Stossel had a great bit about “Thank You” at the register, way back in the 80’s/90’s.

      Why do we both say “thank you” when we buy something from a retailer?

      It was a great entre to libertarian economics.

    • Festus' Mustache

      I don’t think that I’ve heard a sincere “You’re Welcome!” in years. Mind you, it’s not like I hang out at the Algonquin for lunch and tipples every day (present company excluded).

      • cyto

        Yeah, Mitch at work is gonna take your hand and look you in the eye for a long, sincere moment before intoning an impassioned “You’re welcome!” after you thank him for handing you that folder.

      • Festus' Mustache

        He’d better!

    • Festus' Mustache

      That’s a “how-to” in proper shitlord!

      • Grosspatzer

        Mornin’, Festus. Missed you on the Zoomer.

      • Festus' Mustache

        I was there on Friday but later. BP and and I shut her down way late. I didn’t join on Saturday. Sorry to have missed you.

  63. Tundra

    I prefer ‘thank you’, although I’ve been known to trot out ‘no worries’ under certain circumstances.

    Mornin’ peeps!

    • Festus' Mustache

      A little distinguished wave of the hand works for most situations accompanied by a “Meh!”

    • cyto

      Side observation.

      I stupid conversation about how to answer Thank You generates more comments around these parts than a typical morning links at TOS.

      Not sure what that says about either group, but there it is.

      • Tundra

        It says that Tundra better have some fucking coffee, stat!

        I meant to say I prefer ‘you’re welcome’ (or ‘your welcome’ to annoy certain pedants among us).

        I think that’s one of the best things about this place. It’s like a weeknight at the local, with a bunch of clowns arguing over what less astute people think are trivialities.

      • cyto

        This is where I reply with “No it isn’t”

        And you reply with “that’s not argument, it’s just contradiction”

        Then someone chimes in with a link to the python sketch.

        And the ladies just sit back and think “nerds”. But mercifully don’t post those thoughts.

      • cyto

        I”m not posting variations on homonyms of welcome…..

      • Festus' Mustache

        My Sister’s Mother’s Cousin makes $1500 a day with this one weird trick! No spam and this site is actually relevant, funny and mostly sincere.

      • cyto

        The no spam thing is really a revelation. And by no spam, I mean both kinds – the work from home nonsense and the trolls who are either mentally ill or paid online activists.