So What’s the Real Image of Put-In-Bay?

by | Aug 23, 2020 | Beer, Drugs, Economy, Food & Drink, Travel | 271 comments

As many have commented already, Put-In-Bay is known for heavy drinking, youthful mistakes, bachelor/bachelorette parties, drinking, a certain level of acceptable rowdiness, and drinking.  In fairness, I was last there 15 years ago, and this time I was here during the COVID lockdowns, on the day when the governor of Ohio decided to push the liquor board to move last call forward 4 hours.  In a small community that is dependent on tourism dollars, this was not a popular move.

In the “downtown” area, there are over a dozen bars within a couple blocks.  You have your choice as to the type of bar you want to be in, as long as you want relatively inexpensive drinks, local musicians, and island-chic decore.  The bars price most of their drinks for maximum throughput for the bartenders.  As an example, most of the bars will have all beers be $6.  That will be a 12 ounce can of craft or a 16 ounce can of standard American lager.  Ciders, hard seltzers, frozen drinks, and rum based cocktails are also common.

There’s quite a few kitschy places on the island, one of which is Mojito Bay, they are a bar in downtown that is mostly outdoors, with several inches of sand to cover the ground with.  They (obviously) focus on mojitos and various flavor mixes on them.  They also have a cider made by the brewery down the street that is mojito flavored (according to the girlfriend).  One of the standard jokes at this establishment is based on the Commodore Perry flag (DONT GIVE UP THE SHIP), at the bar they have some swings hanging up where you can sit.  So, if you manage to snag one of them… (ok… it was raining off and on that day):

There are some areas that you can walk down to the water, either through stairs, or on some “beaches”:

One of the world records that is documented in Put-In-Bay is the world’s longest bar, sitting at the Beer Barrel Bar.  It’s also one of the largest bars on the island. The below is from a weekend afternoon.  Previously, there used to be lines to get into this bar.  The shutdown has hurt them… a lot.

We did get to experience some of the shady and sketchy items that could happen on the island when some strip club owner from Florida invited us to a “private” after hours party.  The bartenders immediately knew who it was and laughed at the description of “sketchy guy”.  This Florida Man was enough of an ass to “make it rain” on the solo musician providing live music.  After he walked away, and the patrons helped her collect the money, she joked that she got paid and didn’t have to take her clothes off… so she counted it a win.

You do need somewhere to sleep at night, I would recommend either going the cottage/house route or the B&B route.  This was the back yard of the B&B we chose:

If the regular bars aren’t your style, and you have a swimming pool ready body, there are a couple of swim up cocktail bars on the island.  As neither the girlfriend nor I have that kind of body, we did not go that route.  Most of these are geared towards the younger people, and are on resorts.  There is one speakeasy bar on the island, which we did not make it to, so I can’t comment on their drinks.

Based on conversations I had with staff, owners, residents and regulars the tourism was down between 50-75% since the 4th of July.  It was doing alright previous to that (down about 10-20%) but there was a reported COVID outbreak on the island which scared some people off.  I’m fairly certain that none of the staff, owners, or tourism dependent people on the island will be voting for DeWine in two years.

With the lockdowns continuing, there’s a decent chance that I may be able to convince the girlfriend to take another weekend trip here before the summer is over.  If any of you are interested in meeting up there, I’ll gladly stand for the first round.

About The Author

Nephilium

Nephilium

Nephilium is a geek of multiple types living in the vast suburban forests of Cleveland.

271 Comments

  1. Yusef drives a Kia

    Sounds like a lot of fun, The pics have been nice all the way through the series Bravo!

    • Nephilium

      Thanks Yusef, glad you enjoyed it.

    • Rhywun

      Yeah, that’s my kind of honkey-tonk relaxation joint. Good stuff, Neph.

  2. DEG

    I like this series.

    With the lockdowns continuing, there’s a decent chance that I may be able to convince the girlfriend to take another weekend trip here before the summer is over. If any of you are interested in meeting up there, I’ll gladly stand for the first round.

    I’m starting to think about Honey Harvest logistics. I want to drive since I don’t see the airlines stopping their mask bullshit any time soon. I also want to minimize or avoid any mask bullshit.

    What days are you considering?

    • DEG

      And I’ll buy the first round.

    • TARDIS

      I don’t see the airlines stopping their mask bullshit

      I finally have had some money to travel, and those evil commie fucks ruined everything. Wood chippers are too good for the lot of them.

    • Nephilium

      Right now we’re kicking around the idea of heading out over Labor Day weekend. Unlike most years, you can get rooms on South Bass in a couple of weeks, instead of needing to plan ahead over a month.

      • DEG

        That will be too early.

        The NH State primary is the day after Labor Day. I plan to be here for it and somehow vote in person without a mask. If I have the day off, I’m going to hold a sign at my polling place for a woman running for state representative. She received endorsements from both Reopen NH and the NH Liberty Alliance.

      • Nephilium

        Figured if you were talking honey harvest planning. But if you come through Northern Ohio, I’ll gladly meet up with you for a pint and a bite.

        And westernsloper, 3rd Sunday in September unless my memory is misleading me.

      • westernsloper

        Damn! That won’t work for me. Maybe next year.

      • DEG

        I will pass through the Cleveland area if I go to Honey Harvest. We will be in touch if that happens.

    • westernsloper

      When is HH? I know I have asked before and 4×20 told me but I can’t remember. I am not good at remembering. Missed a graduation party yesterday due to that but I was preoccupied with a pork belly. Forgot all about the party.

      • DEG

        September 20th I think?

      • pistoffnick

        September 20th

  3. westernsloper

    So, if you manage to snag one of them… (ok… it was raining off and on that day):

    And you got the girlfriend a garbage bag? You’re a big spender Neph!

    Thanks for the travel log. I had heard about this place from Ohioian friends when I first moved to FL back in the day.

    • Nephilium

      She bought the cheap ass poncho herself. She didn’t even spend the extra dollar for the reusable one.

      • westernsloper

        lol…….still great.

  4. UnCivilServant

    That road sign is useless. I tried to get to Bulgaria, and there was an ocean in the way!

    • UnCivilServant

      Wait, does that say Bulgaria is closer than Frisco?

    • TARDIS

      At least it tells you you are too close to Cleveland.

      • TARDIS

        *that you*

      • Nephilium

        Considering I’m less then 10 miles from Cleveland now…

      • Gender Traitor

        Thoughts and prayers…

    • Ted S.

      It’s also not 2000+ nm from Ohio to Florida.

      • Nephilium

        The distances listed were via water routes.

      • TARDIS

        *Chuckle* Nice.

      • SP

        It said nm right on the sign.

      • UnCivilServant

        Nautical route to Nee Mexico?

        /deliberately obtuse

      • westernsloper

        You can stop and get some chilis!

      • Tejicano

        Nanometers? Maybe it’s a bit further?

      • Gender Traitor

        Can’t use the Miami and Erie Canal to get down to the Gulf anymore.

      • Hyperion

        Not even from Cleveland to Miami. 1200 miles.

    • Hyperion

      The only thing anyone even knows about road signs it that we’re eventually going to get to Wall Drug.

      • DEG

        I’ve been to Wall Drug.

      • C. Anacreon

        Ha! I was looking for Wall Drug on that signboard. Thought they’d have one, just like the Amsterdam train station once did.

  5. hayeksplosives

    This looks like a great little gem of a place, and not one well-known nationally. Low key, lots of charm. And caves!

    The B&B looks lovely.

    • Nephilium

      It was quite nice. There was a path through a natural preserve. I couldn’t convince the girlfriend to go on that hike though. Next trip we’re looking at a 148 year old hotel (with some minor modernization).

  6. hayeksplosives

    We went to Temecula today. Its Main Street is one bar/restaurant/brewery after another.

    But Covid rules say no indoor dining, so everyone is crammed into tables and chairs on patios and spilling into sidewalks. Elbow to elbow; no social distancing.

    Masks have to be on until you get to your table. One restaurant used a forehead thermometer. Others didn’t. At work, we have to do the thermometer as we enter the parking lot, but not after 2 pm.

    The “outdoor only” thing is just silly.

    The arbitrariness of the laws/rules/proclamations is what is most maddening. It proves this has nothing to do with health.

    • prolefeed

      Yeah, just had the first person insist that I not just wear a mask, but cover my nose with it.

      So, that store is permanently off my shopping list.

    • westernsloper

      I think there is some actual science behind the “outdoor” thing. (given there is sunlight) The wearing a mask to and from your outdoor table as is mandated here not so much. The thing that has me so pissed off is the goddamn virus isn’t deadly for 99.8% of people. And will never be. We are now trying to keep people from catching something that won’t make almost everyone of them sick beyond a bad flu or cold. This is idiocy and has fuck all to do with health. I have no idea how we let this happen as a nation. I know how I personally have gave into the little infringements to keep my job, but fuck me we are really sheep. Myself included. The boss hasn’t printed any new temp sheets to log our temps on so we stopped doing that in the mornings.

      • pistoffnick

        “This is idiocy and has fuck all to do with health.”

        Bingo!

    • Rhywun

      Speaking of arbitrary rules:

      How does charging a cover for music put us at risk for the coronavirus? Like every other dagger in the heart of small business, it doesn’t. Enough.

      We can’t live like this anymore. The constant new rules, the continued dance around reopening. New York City is failing. Our governor and mayor are keeping us in a state of disarray.

      And:

      The real problem is limited outcry from New Yorkers. Cuomo and de Blasio are destroying the fabric of our city, and people are too afraid of the virus to stop them.

      Amen.

      • Nephilium

        We’ve so far had only one concert venue declare a permanent closure due to the lockdowns so far. But the number of restaurants permanently closing keeps going up.

      • Mojeaux

        afraid of the virus

        Mission accomplished.

  7. Hyperion

    “So What’s the Real Image of Put-In-Bay?”

    Drunken golf cart drivers?

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      According to my neighbor who grew up there, public sex.

      • Hyperion

        On golf carts, while drunk?

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        While drunk, in the bushes. Golf carts optional.

      • westernsloper

        Go on..

  8. Yusef drives a Kia

    It’s 117, it’s a nice day, time for a round of Golf,
    Cheers!

  9. The Late P Brooks

    The arbitrariness of the laws/rules/proclamations is what is most maddening. It proves this has nothing to do with health.

    Exactly. Superstitious nonsense.

    • Plinker762

      Science Denier

      • Hyperion

        She wants people to die.

    • hayeksplosives

      And now the pols and bureaucrats want to keep the rules in effect until there are zero covid cases.

      There are more than 1000 measles cases in the US every year, to put that in perspective.

      • Hyperion

        “And now the pols and bureaucrats want to keep the rules in effect until there are zero covid cases.”

        Well, bad orange man is still here. So makes sense.

      • Plinker762

        I’ve already heard that flu season is coming so we will need to keep masking

      • Plinker762

        We will be victorious over this virus. — yeah, when we reach herd immunity

      • Hyperion

        “We will be victorious over this virus. — yeah, when we reach herd immunity”

        You mean when bad orange man is gone and we’ve learned to obey.

  10. Plinker762

    Hurray. 2/3 of the way through a 12 hour drive to Colorado and now I am stuck on I80 in Wyoming because the eastbound lanes are closed due to an accident

    • Hyperion

      I remember driving from Rapid City, SD to Ft Wayne IN. 1000 miles, at least the final 200 miles in heavy fog you couldn’t see 2 ft in front of the car. 18 hours, that was fucking grueling and I was a young man then. Would not want to do that again.

      • Plinker762

        I bet there is about 5 miles of parking lot behind me.

        I had planned to do two days of eight hours but left late yesterday.

      • Hyperion

        I’ve had more than a few 2+ hour drives home from work. And it’s 9 miles. I used to love driving. I’ve been over that for a long time.

        These days, I only plan on driving 5-6 hours a day no matter where we’re going. If it takes longer daily driving time that that, I’m not interested.

    • westernsloper

      If you are on I80 to get to Colorado you are either on the wrong road or going to the wrong part of CO.

      • Plinker762

        Keystone from the north

      • westernsloper

        Wrong part of CO confirmed.

      • Ted S.

        I think Plinker is trying to avoid you.

      • Plinker762

        Telluride is later this year

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Speaking of–we need to revive that franchise. OK–that’s presuming we have any H’Wood talent that can be an ensemble like the originals.

      • l0b0t

        I don’t think there are enough competent, watchable stars these days. Also, it would be turned into some sort of Fast And Furious type abomination starring The Rock and Jack Black. The Jumanji franchise is quite enough of those two, thank you very much.

  11. SP

    Thanks for this series, Neph. I really enjoyed it.

    • Nephilium

      Glad you liked it. I’m fairly certain that pretty much every region has locations like this that are pretty much unknown to outsiders.

      • kinnath

        I’m fairly certain that pretty much every region has locations like this that are pretty much unknown to outsiders.

        The setting of pretty much every Steven King novel.

      • Rhywun

        Ayup!

    • Sean

      What she said.

      ?

  12. The Late P Brooks

    Keystone from the north

    Turn right at Rock Springs.

  13. LCDR_Fish

    Starting to think there might be something up with the wu flu. It *must* be killing millions of folks – why else would I see so many “help wanted” and “hiring” signs? Somethings killing off the workers!

    • hayeksplosives

      Increased government handouts has killed all the workers’ incentives to work.

      • C. Anacreon

        Yes, I’ve been surprised how many people would prefer to sit on their asses to working. What a life they must have, I just can’t picture not having work in my life, it’s part of what makes everything fulfilling. Maybe it’s why I don’t like to gamble, I’d prefer to work for my money, and not throw it away once I do.

        This all is not a good sign for UBI advocates. Marxists never seem to get it, thinking everyone will gladly share the workload when you get the same income for sitting around. Its why these economies always fail, there’s close to zero productivity.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        I just can’t picture not having work in my life, it’s part of what makes everything fulfilling

        Yeah…about that. Not that I emotionally support these assholes–it’s just that things like customer service, or, any ass-kissing in general, tends to make eating a gun seem far more palatable the more you do it. And, it’s not as if the majority of them/us are going to find jobs where that isn’t front and center. Even with coding.

        So, I definitely get the appeal of “free money”. If I didn’t have to work, I wouldn’t. Take that as you will.

  14. Mojeaux

    Thanks, Neph, and also, thank you for Glappy Hour. I appreciate it.

    • Nephilium

      I’m glad to be able to provide some service to the community.

  15. Lachowsky

    Work rant-

    I’m responsible for the continued operation of 12 air compressors. 4 of these air compressors have 4160 volt motors. The other 8 have 480 volt motors.

    For the previous 40 years we have kept spare 480 motors for these compressors in stock, but haven’t kept any 4160 volt motors. In the past 2 weeks we have had bearing failures on 2 4160v motors. This has pit me in a situation where I can’t operate part of my plant until I can get these motors fixed.

    Currently, I have two 1000 hp, diesel compressors on a rent contract supplying air to my production process. This is costing over 1000 dollars a day.

    My project this week, (for anybody electrically inclined) is to set an xformer in the compressor building that will draw the voltage down to 480 volts, install the 480 volt motors on the 4160 compressors, and them figure out the control schematic to make it work.

    Started out as a batch, bit doing ahit like this is actually what I like to do.

    Love yall

    • Gustave Lytton

      Kick ass L! Miss you here, but glad you’re keeping your piece of ‘Murica running.

      • Sensei

        +1 here!

    • pistoffnick

      “…will draw the 4160V voltage down to 480 volts…”

      That’s a heck of a buck converter.

      *Mechanickel enginerd, not a sparky.

      • hayeksplosives

        He said transformer, not switching power supply.

        Buck converters are Dc-DC witch active switching.

      • pistoffnick

        I don’t know, I have a boost/buck for my 480 V AC crane

        Like I said, “Mechanickel enginerd, not a sparky.”

      • Plinker762

        Buck and boost transformers have been around a lot longer than those fancy switching devices

      • hayeksplosives

        Yay! A power conversion conversation. Too bad I missed it.

        I use a lot of AC to DC converters in the transformer/rectifier topology. Simple concept, but the devil is in the details, especially when there are unused constraints it requirements.

        For the lower powered stuff, there are more options, but unfortunately the world is awash in cheap o quality power supplies that run hot and put out a ton of noise.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        or Ac to ac active switching,
        A/C nerd

    • hayeksplosives

      Don’t forget to go to Tashi Station to pick up some power converters!

      🙂

      Good luck ?

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Owne has more pressing needs at home, what with the harvest coming up.

    • Tejicano

      I would have guessed that the 4 compressors run by 4140 V motors need more power to run than the 480 V motors can provide. Or are you running multiple 480 V motors on each of the compressors which are currently running on 4160 V?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Amp draw

  16. pistoffnick

    My work rant:

    The last major project we did as a company, I had 6 people on my team*.

    This major project I have 2, including myself. I have been working 50-60 hour weeks since March.

    *I don’t want to say “under my employ”, because I told them when I hired them, that I never wanted to be their boss.

  17. Yusef drives a Kia

    Just finished a round of Universal Heat Death Golf, 117, kicked our Ass! no wind, minimal shade, +4 for 18, with a bonus Heatstroke!

  18. Neabsco

    I’m a recent transplant to Ohio. Put-In-Bay sounds interesting, but maybe for next year. Still trying to figure out the alcohol laws here – apparently, Walmart doesn’t sell wine on Sundays but I could buy a Four Loko no problem. What’s going on?

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Ahh, it’s been a while,
      Fuck Off Tulpa!

    • Nephilium

      So… Ohio alcohol laws:

      No ABV limit on beer (fairly recent change)
      Different licenses for beer sales and wine/cider/mead sales
      There’s several classes of liquor licenses for bars, some of which only allow beer/cider/wine sales on Sunday mornings
      Any liquor above 42 proof can only be sold at a bar or state liquor store, grocery stores will sell some cheap ass knock offs of some of the big brands diluted down.
      The OHLQ website allows you to search for all of the allowed liquor and the prices and “availability” for it (the last is in quotes because it’s usually off).
      Any bar can fill any growler
      I believe our last dry county went wet
      Brewery’s get a full liquor license with their brewery license. At least one country club got a brewery license just to be able to sell liquor in a dry county
      Minimum beer prices are a mandated minimum 25% markup for each step of the process (brewery to distributor, distributor to retail, retail to customer)

      • Cancelled

        Don’t forget the beer can be sold from 5:30 am on Sunday but wine and spirits can only be sold after 10 am on Sunday (in some (most) cases 11 am but I have never really understood why some places can go at 10 and others have to wait till 11 and can’t be bothered to look it up)

      • Cancelled

        Ok I looked it up, it is determined by which set of rules applied when the local community authorized Sunday sales. The geniuses in our legislature apparently created two separate laws allowing local option approval of Sunday sales and the two separate laws had different start times.

      • Neabsco

        Thanks! I was wondering why the beer here was so expensive in comparison to Wisconsin.

  19. straffinrun

    Might sound condescending, but I love that you brought energy to your trip to Put-In Bay. You make it sound like a fun place to visit, but my guess is that you and the gal make any place fun to visit. When I read “hard seltzer” my brain read it as “hand sanitizer”. Makes you wonder how much of an effect this covid bullshit is having on our consciousness.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Nothing matches your Zoom tour Straff, that was a blast!
      Thankee.

      • straffinrun

        Thanks, YDK. I was thinking of doing a tour of Kabuki cho in Shinjuku. It’s the big red light district in Tokyo. Problem is that it’s rocking at nights and kind of slow in the day so the time difference doesn’t match up with the regular zoom times. Might set one up and see if you dogs lick it up.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Maybe record and post the link? with a heads up. I’ll watch any tour you do, you are really good at it, very natural and tongue in cheek,

    • Nephilium

      It was a good time. We had a couple of places that became our “regular” places over the course of a weekend. One place had an outdoor biergarten where we were sitting and talking to locals while drinking Stiegl Radler (they changed the flavor daily). Another was one where I met half the staff the first night I was there, and made it a point to return to the next day.

      Keep in mind, that the people going here were a self selected group that were willing to go to a village on an island specifically to get away from the rest of the bullshit. I don’t think those who are living in fear of the COVID would ferry or boat over to an island and sit in bars with the hoi polloi.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        More peaceful that way, again, looks like fun Weekend..

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      OFFS, Camel Ah was the first Indian American Senator in 2016, now the Bitch is Black?

    • Gender Traitor

      Anyone take one for the team and watch that interview? Saw it in the listings and noped right past.

      • KSuellington

        Were Biden and Harris even in the same room? It didn’t appear so.

      • PudPaisley

        Joe must have had his face stretched again recently. It looks a lot tighter than it did a couple months ago.

    • Rhywun

      He said he, as a white man, cannot understand her lived experiences and that she, a 55-year-old daughter of Indian and Jamaican immigrants, can’t understand his.

      This is so ridiculous I’m struggling to come up with a comment worthy enough to make fun of it.

      • Gender Traitor

        He can’t understand his lived experience either.

      • Cancelled

        Do any of us really understand our lived experience? That is an aspiration of mine, but not a thing I would be arrogant enough to claim I had achieved.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        What if I’m Dead? do I forfeit the lived experience?
        Or am I just a Democrat Voter?

      • Gender Traitor

        “Here lies GT’s attempted joke. RIP.”

      • Cancelled

        I didn’t mean it that way. I was just musing about the phrase.

      • Gender Traitor

        Understand. I just wasn’t prepared to get so philosophical. : )

      • straffinrun

        Livid experience FTW.

      • Tejicano

        It’s difficult to understand what you don’t remember.

    • The Hyperbole

      like and followed.

      • straffinrun

        OK. You got me good with that. LOL.

      • Cancelled

        I think you should take a class and critical thinking before you post!

      • The Hyperbole

        Or grain meteorology.

      • straffinrun

        I honestly can’t tell if the dude is joking.

      • Cancelled

        Hell I can’t tell if it is a dude or a porrly written algorithm

      • Tejicano

        I was wondering if he was reading/posting through Google translate to/from his native language.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Replies FTW!

    • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

      If I were going to white knight for you…or, even sign up to twat with that schmuck, I’d have written something along the lines of

      1. Bitch–you’re a meteorologist. Get off your high horse
      2. You magically gleaned all that from one snarky sentence? You totes missed your calling, Kreskin.
      3. Since when is an American President personally responsible for the medical health of the individuals in the country? I guess he’s also personally responsible for those other 194 sovereign countries, too.
      4. Wait; let me guess–you were all in for the AMA, weren’t you?
      5. Personal responsibility isn’t big in your world, is it?
      6. You can quit propping up Uncle Grabby–chances are that you’re too old for his tastes, anyway.

      • straffinrun

        Get in the game, Digs! We can own the world and it is known that you win arguments by getting more likes than your enemies on twitter.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        I admit to have been on around 5-6 years ago. I actually did have a young slattern try to discount my argument on the basis that I had no “followers”.

        She truly was a stupid whore.

      • Festus' Mustache

        “Slattern” FTW, Howard!

    • Gustave Lytton

      That woman arrested on her porch for loud talking- is that cop old enough to shave? What a tool.

      • straffinrun

        That cop is the epitome of the “Never got laid in HS and gonna take it out on the people” type cop.

      • Gustave Lytton

        If only he learned of the power of the uniform to pick up chicks. But not in a cop rapist manner.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Not a defense of his behavior, however, everyone should keep in mind that “You can’t do this!” (or a variation of such), is like g-bills to a stripper–you’ll see what they can do when you offer that up.

        Case in point–he probably won’t lose his job over the tasing. His attitude might cost him, but, they’re already pulling out the “he acted with guidelines”-type response.

  20. straffinrun

    You barely have to alter OOAN to make it QAnon.

  21. Yusef drives a Kia

    The Derp expands……………

    • Chafed

      I just can’t root for him.

  22. Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

    Not sure what all I’m feeling over this: https://www.theblaze.com/news/police-officer-shoots-kills-dog-detroit

    It seems like…well, I think that the officer shooting the dog was probably the only thing that was going to stop it, cleanly (i.e. without affecting the K-9/others, or, possibly missing altogether). I can’t really call it a “clean shoot”, as the whole shebang could have been handled differently. Why have the K-9 there, as opposed to out hunting for the suspect? I guess they were doubly afraid of a dog with a gun.

    But, if you do watch the video….that owner/resident. She could give a fuck about the dog. Just a shit response.

    • Gustave Lytton

      I know how I feel about calling the police dog a “K-9 officer”. I also scratched my dog’s chin and thanked the stars that my grandfather moved the family away from Detroit when my dad was a kid.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Well, it is a canine, and it does patrol and search duties…

        If you’re meaning them having an elevated status akin to what human police officers have, I am in, at least, partial agreement.

      • Plinker762

        They could raise Police Flies and then let them loose near someone. When they swat at the fly the cop could arrest them.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Now, that’s just silly, Plink. That’s far too advanced thinking for most police.

  23. Plinker762

    I love night driving. A deer jumped up onto the fog line but luckily didn’t get into my lane. Then, a jackrabbit sitting on its hind quarters in the other, it just watched me as I went by it at 70. Finally a fox ran across the road in front of me but far enough a head to be a clear miss.

      • UnCivilServant

        Is there an update on that story from June? Was the teacher fired?

      • Chafed

        Pfffft. She’s now the assistant superintendent.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        I dunno, but, it sure did make a splash in the last few days, according to the quick Google search I enacted for you 😉

      • Chafed

        Notably missing is mom’s decision to have her son attend some other school.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Is that even an option for them? As in, a viable, ‘doable’, option? I hate pretty much every public school system in the U.S., especially when they make the news like this. But, I can’t fault the woman for trying to ring the alarm bell, and, maybe get some people replaced. In fact, I’d think that running for a school board seat would be a more effective option.

        Of course, seeking power, and all those trappings.

      • CPRM

        The principal and the teacher cited a rule stating that students may not bring guns to school and claimed it extended to virtual classes as well

        In a virtual class is the whole home considered ‘school’? ‘Man Seen Smoking In Own Home Charged With Smoking On School Grounds’

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Why not?! I can tell you that “normal”, everyday people expect various government entities (heheheh…titties) to take care of them; it shouldn’t be any surprise that teachers, in turn, see themselves as the true parent(s) of the kids. Might as well extend it to everyone in a household.

        Besides, smoking is bad, mkay? Gotta save the kiddos.

      • CPRM

        I guess, I mean if it saves just One life…

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        And/or gives the teachers that much-needed rustling of their jimmies…

        /eww

  24. Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

    You bitchez are going to jail!

    I agree with plenty of the sentiments of the author. However this stands out:

    I understand her instinct to respond to her son’s attackers, yet she should have removed him from the scene and not involved him in the situation. Other adults were there to handle the women.

    Ehh….not much of said “handling” going on, if you ask me. Anyways, Ladies–be sure to let everyone in the pods know why you’re there–they just love kid as victims.

    • Chafed

      The women arrested are assholes. The mother is an idiot for bringing her son to that stunt.

    • CPRM

      offensive touching

      I would make a joke, but in CURRENT YEAR it would be inappropriate, so I’ll just say, that’s what she said!

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Well, they are awfully offensive, I’ll give ’em that…

        I also see some potential for a funny mention for Hat in an future episode. Just sayin….

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Also–I need to slip you a mickey an email here in the next few minutes, if you would watch for it.

  25. Akira

    OT: I love learning these woodworking lessons…

    I got a new 1/4″ chisel the other day from eBay. It’s an early 1990s Sears model, new in the packaging. I just went out and gave it a preliminary sharpening and got that bad boy razor sharp; it literally took hairs off my arm with ease. Started cutting a mortise with it, and it was slicing through that grain like butter. Beautiful. Then I dropped the damn thing. You ever see a mother’s reaction when her toddler crashes on his bicycle and scrapes his knee? That’s was my reaction when that blade hit my concrete garage floor. My poor darling is mangled. Oh well, I’ll block off some time tomorrow to give it some TLC with the sharpening stones. It’ll be good as new. What some people call “tedious” I call “therapeutic”.

    Lesson: Don’t drop your fucking chisels.

    • CPRM

      Nobody is wearing their fucking mask! They all deserve to die! /Karen

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        I was about to say that it might have been back in the good ol’ days, but, it does appear to have been last month. That guy has a mugshot from what I presume is a previous arrest–meth and crack are both a helluva drug.

      • CPRM

        The funniest bit was, I could see the gunman had a mask, but it was tucked below his face. 2020, where they outlaws don’t want to wear the fucking mask.

      • CPRM

        Seeing things in videos is kinda what I do, IYKWIM.

      • CPRM

        That’s my version of Work From Home.

    • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

      “Everyone needs a little love in their life.” Pure Lando.

      • CPRM

        “I too believed spinning was a good trick.”

    • hayeksplosives

      Hilariously awful.

      Lol@ baby Yoda.

    • CPRM

      My dad died of a UTI, I say we don’t reopen the country until no has to urinate ever again.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        The concept of cognitive dissonance is on fully display there.

        OK; either that, or, “it’s only good when my team does it”.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        “fully”….smdh

        I’m starting to write like straff’s detractor.

      • hayeksplosives

        We all have suffered the anguish of unwanted autocorrect.

        Your among friend’s now.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Awww! Thank you!

        But, uh….no auto-correct on the computer. That’s aaaaall me.

      • CPRM

        Friends? Didn’t you get the ‘memo’?…Ixne on the Digbly 😉

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        (dammit–I should have written “Quietly”….fml)

    • CPRM

      Do we seriously just watch all the same shit?

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Well….yeah! We do recommend some channels, here and there, to be fair.

      • CPRM

        Yeah, but I usually don’t pay attention to your recommendations 😉

    • Gustave Lytton

      So like an evening of diarrhea where you keep returning to the toilet?

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        “Returning” means leaving in the first place. If so, you’re* doing diarrhea wrong.

        *not you, but ‘you’….unless it means you.

      • CPRM

        Everyone under 70 and over 3 is doing diarrhea wrong. Diapers, it’s the answer.

      • CPRM

        Who knows what craziness giving Biden THE Pen and THE Phone will bring.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        He’ll write out a message, then, try to figure out how to feed it in to the iphone.

      • Ted S.

        Give him the Hat and the Hair.

      • Lackadaisical

        The Face and the Dentures?

    • hayeksplosives

      I can’t see a Chipotle without thinking of Eric Cartman’s Chipotle-Away product idea.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        For all the episodes I’ve seen, that was a first for me. I feel….violated special.

        /why not both, amirite??

  26. limey

    That is some fanny pack. I don’t recall ever seeing one with so many compartments. Fun read, thanks Neph.

    Good morning, good people of Glibertarians.

    • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

      I just bought a sling bag that (apart from color and wear style) is quite a bit like that. Pretty good for CHL, all things considered. Would recommend.

      • Lackadaisical

        CHL?

        Concealed Handgun, Loaded
        Canadian Hockey League
        Canned Herring Livers
        Coked Hooker Love

        Cock Holster Lips?

      • Lackadaisical

        Is the license so big you need to carry it in a sling bag?

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Did you honestly need me to add “carry” to that?

      • Lackadaisical

        I don’t need you to do anything, but the acronym’s application surely doesn’t make logical sense, as a profound autist it wounds me.

        Basically, I’m saying that your words are violence.

    • Sean

      Mornin’

    • Gender Traitor

      Good morning, limey JD!

    • Nephilium

      Oi! I thought you limey’s had another meaning for fanny…

      • UnCivilServant

        Don’t worry, eventually they’ll learn to speak English.

    • Sean

      S’mores.

      Stupid kindle

    • Lackadaisical

      Morning Sean,

      We had some small groups of kids holding BLM signs on corners around here (skinny white suburban highschool kids- I live in an affluent neighborhood with highly rated schools, so these kids are really far removed form my own childhood growing up in the city, and even moreso from the people BLM is advocating for), and then some guy made some anti-BLM comments to them… so they got some of the city folk to come and march through, fucking up traffic for a day, and getting like the whole police department out for the day to protect the fucks (ironic).

      Don’t think they caused any serious mischief, though they did oddly go into Walmart for a bit, not sure the purpose there. I am kind of considering writing an article about my views on BLM, as a movement.

      Point being, its no good roasting marshmallows on big fires liek that, do cars make good coals? Also, I had no idea cars were quite so flammable.

      • Sean

        I am kind of considering writing an article about my views on BLM, as a movement.

        Looking forward to it.

        I’m sure it will be better than my “Fuck those Marxists” view.

    • Lackadaisical

      Weird-ass story, someones not telling the full truth.

      • Gender Traitor

        Duffy said police did not return fire, and the incident ended without any serious injuries.

        That’s the weirdest (but best) part.

    • Lackadaisical

      Damn, he went down like a sack of potatoes.

      Also, those 3 cops simultaneously turning their backs to the entire crowd after that, SMDH. They’re lucky they all didn’t get lynched.

  27. UnCivilServant

    Morning, internet people.

    • Gender Traitor

      Morning, internet person.

      • UnCivilServant

        I have managed to wake up in time for work. I guess that’s good.

        I only have four workdays before vacation. That is also good.

        I remembered to take the trash to the curb. This is very good, since I don’t want that lingering until next week.

      • Gender Traitor

        I’d say you’re on a roll!

      • UnCivilServant

        I thought there was something odd about this chair today.

  28. Lackadaisical

    I’m going to quote this book I’m reading and you tell me if what he’s saying makes sense.

    “Urban Islamic nationalism was of a highly moral nature: its entire idea was based on justice (adl), which had already been the subject of theological debates in the scholastic period. Islamic intellectuals had again and again pointed out that the western concept of freedom essentially corresponded with the Islamic concept of Justice.”

    Corresponds to freedom how? as in the concepts are similar, or that they were both impetuses for nationalism?

    • Gender Traitor

      Can’t tell. I gather subsequent sentences don’t clarify? I got confused at “justice (adl).” Is “adl” Arabic for “justice”?

      • Lackadaisical

        Yes to both. There may be specific connotations to ‘adl’ that aren’t the same as Justice, which I assume is why the author included the specific arabic word.

        from wikipeduia: “Adl is another word for divine justice in Islam. The conception of this term varies between Shias and Sunnis. For Shias, divine justice is one of the Usul ad-Din. Shias tend to believe that God is rationally just, that men inherently know the difference between good and evil, and that we have complete free will. Sunnis, in contrast, believe that God is necessarily just, that revelation, the Qur’an, is the only way to know good and evil, and that men are afforded some volition within predestination.[citation needed] ”

        I think the author meant that it corresponds to the impetus for nationalism, rather than is in anyway similar to freedom, but the context was really vague. Writign it out has helped make it a bit clearer for me.

    • Festus' Mustache

      I see two problems with that excerpt. The first being the term “moral” and the second one being “justice”. Islam means kowtowing (to mix my metaphors). Freedom of thought or action are anti-ethical to The Religion of Peace”.

      • Lackadaisical

        Yeah, I wasn’t that impressed with the use of the word moral, since that is highly subjective, but assumed the author meant that they used moral justifications (like adl) for their beliefs.

    • Suthenboy

      It is difficult enough to make yourself understood with someone else having the same concepts and native language. That passage looks like an exercise in futility.

      • Gender Traitor

        Mornin’, Suthen. Are you reasonably safe from the projected paths of Marco and/or Laura?

      • Suthenboy

        Thank you for asking.
        From the projections yesterday it looks like we will be getting a visit from both. No worries. I am just far enough north that we dont get much in the way of hurricane speeds. It gets very windy and rainy but I dont have any large trees over my house and am too high to get flooded.
        The first one is projected to be Cat. 1 when it makes landfall….the second one is the one I am keeping my eye on.

        The worst that can happen to us is to lose power. A lot of other people here have more serious worries as they live in much lower areas.

        I am stocking up on supplies this morning but I will be back on soon.

      • Sean

        Be safe.

      • Gender Traitor

        Glad you’re on higher ground and not in danger from falling trees. Please stay safe!

      • Gender Traitor

        Now, see, I thought of this one.

      • Grosspatzer

        Be safe. These storms have a habit of making the models look stupid.

  29. Festus' Mustache

    Mornin’ Glibuddies! I’ve said it before but I have to say it again, Neph’s Girlfriend is adorable! What a good sport she seems.

    • Gender Traitor

      Mornin’, Fes!

    • Tundra

      Good morning, Festus.

      And I agree with you. From the Zoom calls she seems like a really nice person.

      Who really could do a lot better! 😉

    • Grosspatzer

      Mornin, Festus!

      • Festus' Mustache

        Mornin’ Back mein freunds.

  30. Tundra

    So, a Northern Key West?

    That sounds fun. A 75% decrease in business doesn’t, though.

    Thanks for writing this up. It’s always fun to travel vicariously!

    • Festus' Mustache

      Twenty years ago I would have been all over a place like that. Nowadays, not so much. I’m in a more Del Boca Vista state of mind.

    • Nephilium

      A Northern Key West without the “keep it weird” mentality that I’ve heard (and read) exists in Key West.

      • Festus' Mustache

        So basically a day at the river without the ostrich feathers and chaps. Sounds cool. Redneck Riviera is everywhere that the sun beats down but our parties were more Sturgis than Key West.

    • Festus' Mustache

      Yes. Immago dig my old hardhat out of the shed.

    • straffinrun

      How to give the cops a reason to request more MRAPs etc in one single step.

  31. Grosspatzer

    FWIW, an article which provides numbers other than “total cases”.

    https://www.upi.com/Top_News/World-News/2020/08/23/Indias-cases-deaths-spiking-but-per-capita-mortality-rate-low/9541598189781/

    Of course, the numbers need to be taken with a grain of salt…

    Notably, Mainland China, where the virus originated, has a rate of 3 per million. With the largest population in the world at 1.43 billion, the nation has 4,634 deaths, a figure that has not changed since late April.