Sunday Morning Apology Links

by | Aug 30, 2020 | Daily Links | 238 comments

Apparently yesterday’s image choice was so offensive, my old synagogue mailed my foreskin back to me with instructions on how to rehydrate it and re-attach. So to them, I humbly apologize.

No, I don’t. IT WAS FUNNY. Cringe-funny, sure, but that’s the best funny. NEVER APOLOGIZE.

What’s also funny is the lineup of birthdays, which include a guy whose name sounds like a grinning Negro character from a 1910 novel; one of my spiritual fathers; another one of my spiritual fathers; Team Blue’s spiritual father; a guy whose best movie role was a sneaky coward bad guy; one of the heads not in SugarFree’s freezer; and one of the greatest artists of the 20th century, and a weird guy even by weird guy standards.

I’ll see if I can get through a few Links without offending anyone else.

 

One more “I hate everybody involved” story. Of course, if it involves Trump and Congress trolling each other, that’s pretty much pre-ordained.

 

I wonder if he’s as box-of-rocks dumb as his mother. Either way, three generations of imbeciles are enough.

 

A bridge over troubled waters. HAHAHAHA…. pass the popcorn.

 

I’m thinkin’ a beer hall might be a nice place to go…

 

C’mon guys, with a culture like this, you may as well join the EU.

 

Don’t read the comments. Look, I love this guy’s art, but he’s a fucking moron.

 

Old Guy Music says, “HOLY FUCK, HE PLAYS ELECTRIC!”

About The Author

Old Man With Candy

Old Man With Candy

Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me. Wait, wrong book, I'll find something else.

238 Comments

  1. Ted S.

    a guy whose best movie role was a sneaky coward bad guy;

    Double Indemnity or The Apartment?

    • WTF

      The Cain Mutiny?

    • Crusty Juggler

      He was alpha af in The Apartment!

  2. limey

    I’ve been to a couple of Capability Brown gardens. They are pretty impressive, even by modern standards. I know sweet FA about landscaping or garden design but I know what I like.

    Mornin’ Glibs.

  3. prolefeed

    Pre-empting Broxhetta …

    • limey

      Apparently he’s generally not a morning person. He generally rolls off the futon in his mother’s basement and staggers towards his filthy old computer chair to hit refresh for the midday and afternoon posts.

  4. Yusef drives a Kia

    ‘Mornin everybody!

    • limey

      Top of the morning to you, ‘Sef. Even covfefe comes in… TALL CANS!

  5. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I think the Trump administration just said that they would provide written updates on election security only. Given that Schiff does nothing but lie about what was said in testimony, I get the administration’s point.

    By making it written, they can always go back to the text.

    • Viking1865

      Yeah when you have a snakefuck coworker who’s constantly lying to the boss claiming other people would do Task X, or that they sent Task Y on to the next person, you stop dealing with them over the phone or in person, and start emailing them everything.

  6. Scruffy Nerfherder

    He’s the tall, dark, and handsome princeling of American politics. But will John Bouvier Kennedy Schlossberg ever actually enter the arena?

    There’s name for ya’.

    But Jack was schooled in the Democratic Party canon by his godfather and uncle, the late Sen. Ted Kennedy of Massachusetts. In 2010, Jack spent a high-school summer working at the US Senate as an intern and page for then-Sen. John Kerry.

    God help us all.

    • l0b0t

      A lack-witted minor royal with a grandfather who was a bit too fond of Hitler.

      • The Hyperbole

        There’s an appropriate amount of fondness for Hitler?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Are you saying I can’t appreciate his sense of style?

      • The Hyperbole

        Fair enough, and I understand that he was a terrific painter.

      • Surly Knott

        The mustache was to die for.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        And he had good taste in women. That Eva Braun, hubba hubba.

      • Fifth Knight of the Derp Table

        He loved his dog too!

      • Fifth Knight of the Derp Table

        I refuse to allow you to further send my YT recommendations into disarray. Trying to undo the damage of clicking on HM links was tough enough. 😉

      • Ted S.

        Were you stung by my YT links?

    • Viking1865

      The Democrats aren’t even pretending that their politicians actually come up with ideas anymore. They exist solely to vote in the latest dreams of THE SCIENCE EXPERTS OF SCIENCE.

    • l0b0t

      The replies to mentions of this are leaving me dumb-struck and fearful as the cognitive dissonance and need to rationalize bad decisions is on full display.

      • Count Potato

        “Pneumonia: 64,465”

        That could be the result of covid.

      • Drake

        Sure, but many healthy non-elderly people succumb to it. Covid just seems to push the unhealthy over the edge.

      • Drake

        Not many

      • Overt

        You cannot look at the excess deaths and say that only 9,000 people died of the coof. This is going to be a game of semantics. Did I die of Covid, or did Covid aggravate a condition that killed me? Everyone is going to have a different view of what should be considered a covid death. But there is a huge spike, and while I am certain some of it is due to things like suicide and untreated heart attacks, a significant amount has to be COVID.

        I think the closest we are going to get to a true understanding of the impact is after another year. We can look at excess deaths and see that a lot of people who would of died later in the year were not alive to die. But at the same time, many people with pre-existing conditions like CPD, Heart Disease and Diabetes probably could have survived 2 or 3 more years, and in that case they will show up as COVID deaths, which seems about right.

        TLDR; while there is certainly room to argue about excess deaths on the margins, saying that there are only 9,500 COVID deaths when current excess deaths are above 160,000 is not productive.

      • Overt

        And by the way, according to the Excess Death stats, New yark has 38,000 – 41,000 excess deaths right now, but their reported Coronavirus deaths are only 33,000. They are unique in how much they are under-reporting COVID deaths. If you dig into the data, you see that the spike in excess deaths is a sustained elevation in “Alzheimer’s/Dementia” deaths.

        Strange. In New York, where Cuomo is trying to do victory laps and downplay his policies WRT nursing homes, Covid deaths are under-reported, but there is a persistent elevation in deaths due to dementia. If I were a reporter, that would intrigue me.

      • R C Dean

        Excess deaths lag. Last time I looked at the CDC excess deaths data, most of the pandemic was still “projected”, IOW, just another fucking model.

        I think that 9K is way too low, and I think 180K is way too high.

        Sadly, we won’t really know how many excess deaths until early next year.

      • Overt

        ” Last time I looked at the CDC excess deaths data, most of the pandemic was still “projected””

        No this is not the case right now. The vast number of excess deaths is “Unweighted” – Not predicted. Go to the site below and look at the graphs of Weighted vs unweighted. Even in the most recent week, 72% of the deaths are actual, reported deaths and 28% are predicted, just based on the reporting habits of coronor’s offices.

        However if you go back a month, the number of “modeled” deaths is only 4% of the total. And 2 months back, it is nothing at all. The majority of “Excess Deaths” took place over 2 months ago- in the april/may time-frame. So we are pretty well certain that we are very high.

        And as I have said numerous times, the real scandal is that New York- hero of the pandemic- seems to be fraudulently hiding its seniors’ deaths.

  7. Rhywun

    Fans gushed over Schlossberg’s resemblance to his late uncle, John F. Kennedy Jr. – and over his leonine head of presidential hair.

    *swoon*

    Eat your heart out, Justin.

    • straffinrun

      They gave him a facial. Sweet. Video?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      All he needs to do now is start sleeping around and get addicted to pain pills and he’ll be the spitting image. Jokes aside, they don’t look alike at all.

      • WTF

        He could also drive drunk and drown a young female campaign worker to complete the pattern.

      • Drake

        He needs some flying lessons.

      • WTF

        Really only taking-off lessons.

    • Gender Traitor

      Old joke – Q: Why didn’t JFK Jr. and [insert wife’s name here] shower before they took off in their plane? A: They thought they’d wash up on the beach.

  8. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Letters to the Local Rag: That’s Nice, And?

    I have created elastic gadgets that transform the masks I have into around the head straps (like ski goggles). Makes life much easier and for short periods, I drop it around my neck and pull it up as needed. It is beneficial to have a clever wife that sews buttons on lengths of elastic. Various sizes as each mask is different.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      It’s beyond stupid at this point. The second you touch it it’s GAME OVER.

      Thing is, I wonder if we’re going to see research about a rise in infections through bacteria.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      It is beneficial to have a clever wife that sews buttons on lengths of elastic.

      All you single people out there, take note of this and update your dating profiles accordingly.

  9. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Letters to the Local Rag: We’ve Always Been At War With East Ungulate

    In the wake of all the serious problems we have domestically and around the world, It is hard to believe someone considers local deer a pressing problem. The writer complained about deer grazing on the lawn of the Methodist Church. Is she concerned about the deer’s welfare or is she afraid eight deer will somehow threaten her safety? And the writer points to the fact that they were grazing in broad daylight. Does she want them to always be fearful of man and hide out in darkness? It is unfortunate that Williamsburg is building on land once occupied by deer and other wildlife, leaving them loss of open space. It is hoped that with public expansion on once vacant lands, man and wildlife can learn to peacefully co-exist.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      I take it she’s never hit one with her car.

      • Plinker762

        “That is what insurance is for”

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Life insurance if she’s very unlucky. (I admit I assume letter writer is a woman.)

    • leon

      Here we have two kinds of deer. City deer and Mountain Deer. The mountain deer live in the mountains but come down during the fall when it’s too cold. They still feel fear of man. City deer are from the herds that have taken up residence in the valley and grown accustumed to living in the parks, cemeteries and such. They have no concept of fear from man.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      #deerlivesmatter

    • Grosspatzer

      In the wake of all the serious problems we have domestically and around the world, It is hard to believe someone considers local deerunmasked churchgoers a pressing problem. The writer complained about deer grazingunmasked churchgoers chatting on the lawn of the Methodist Church. Is she concerned about the deer’sworshipers’ welfare or is she afraid eight deerchurchgoers will somehow threaten her safety? And the writer points to the fact that they were grazingchatting in broad daylight. Does she want them to always be fearful of man and hide out in darkness?

  10. straffinrun

    “And once again, we need a leader who believes America’s best days are yet to come. We need Joe Biden.”

    JFC JFK.

  11. Fifth Knight of the Derp Table

    ‘Earlier this month, the nation’s counterintelligence chief, William Evanina, issued a statement saying U.S. intelligence officials believe Russia is using various methods to denigrate Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden and that people linked to Russian President Vladimir Putin are boosting Trump’s reelection bid. U.S. officials also believe China does not want Trump to win a second term and has accelerated its criticism of the White House, Evanina wrote.

    On Saturday, Democratic lawmakers criticized Ratcliffe’s decision.

    “This intelligence belongs to the American people, not the agencies which are its custodian,” House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Rep. Adam Schiff, the Democrat who chairs the House’s intelligence committee, said in a joint statement. “The American people have both the right and the need to know that another nation, Russia, is trying to help decide who their president should be.”’

    When asked about any possible election interference from any other nations that might be directed to support Democrats, namely, China, Pelosi and Schiff stated that any and all assistance would be welcome, swept under the rug, and they eagerly await further instructions from their overlords in Beijing.

    • Ted S.

      “This intelligence belongs to the American people, not the agencies which are its custodian,” House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Rep. Adam Schiff, the Democrat who chairs the House’s intelligence committee, said in a joint statement.

      Have they called for the pardoning of Edward Snowden and the people who released the State Department information on Hillary’s private servers?

      • Fifth Knight of the Derp Table

        Oh, you…When they say the American people, they mean Dem intelligence committee members. Same thing, man.

  12. Tundra

    Good morning, Old Man!

    I thought it was funny, but I’m known as a Bad Person in many circles.

    It’s another gorgeous morning in MN. Sitting on the front patio, enjoying coffee, cool air and sunshine, pondering my hiking route.

    Perfection. Maybe the world doesn’t suck after all.

    *reads lynx*

    Oh, yeah.

    On Thursday, Democratic vice presidential nominee Kamala Harris said the police officer who shot Blake should be charged with a crime.

    The least surprising thing you will read all day. Does this silly bitch have anyone in her campaign telling her what regular people are thinking?

    I linked to that video the last time Billy was featured in Old Guy Music. It made me sad that it went down a few short weeks before the OMGPANDEMICPANIC! Seeing all those people in the audience, I want to go to a fucking live show, goddammit! I’ve lost count on how many shows I was planning to see over the last several months, including your pal Foucault at the Cedar Cultural Center. Hopefully the wars will end down there and he can reschedule. Small, awesome venue.

    Oh, hey! Another one of your friends is supposedly gonna be there soon!

    We’ll see if it’s actually gonna happen. The venue is in kind of a weird area – let’s call it war-zone adjacent.

    Anyway, I hope you all have a fantastic day, friends. You had better – none of us is getting any younger!

    Except Fourscore. Something weird going on there…

    • Nephilium

      So far we’ve lost at least one independent concert venue here in Cleveland. Cutting them off from all revenue for several months, and then allowing them to only be a bar did them no favors.

      • Rhywun

        There’s an old-timey movie house on the next block that I wonder if it will ever re-open. They didn’t even have time to remove from the marquee the list of March movies and staff birthdays.

    • Fifth Knight of the Derp Table

      ‘Does this silly bitch have anyone in her campaign telling her what regular people are thinking?’

      “The riots, the looting, it’s not going to stop. We’re not going to stop”

      *smiles like a maniac*

    • Sean

      JJ Abrams approved photo. ?

  13. straffinrun

    Blake, 29, was shot in the back seven times by a white police officer Sunday as he attempted to enter his own car.

    Say what you want about the shooting, but that is a comical description of what happened.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      He was going for his leftover Whopper and fries.

      • Tundra

        I always get peckish during a tense police interaction.

      • straffinrun

        Give me a whopper and hold the context.

      • Fifth Knight of the Derp Table

        [golf clap]

      • prolefeed

        How would you describe what happened? Curious.

      • prolefeed

        I’ve been on vacation and missed the details of the selective outrage over a black man being shot in a way that advances The Narrative, while ignoring the most statistically likely way that such shootings occur multiple times every single day.

      • WTF

        From the available information and video evidence, it appears cops were called by the woman when Blake violated a restraining order and stole her keys. Blake had a warrant for sexual assault, cops try to arrest him, he resists while brandishing a knife, taser attempts not effective. He disregards the commands of police while they have their guns on him, opens his car door and reaches in, at which time cop shoots him.

      • Drake

        I don’t have an opinion on the shoot itself. But that is how you behave if you want to get shot by cops.

      • Grumbletarian

        Nuh uh! HE WAS SHOT WHILE BEING BLACK, YOU BIGOT!

      • WTF

        Well of course! If he had been white, the cops would have bought him a cup of coffee and sent him on his way!

  14. l0b0t

    Fun Fact – Robert Crumb is friends with the amazing pornographer Dian Hanson. Back in the 1990s she was editor for a foot fetish magazine called Leg Show. Crumb did a photoshoot for the magazine that featured ladies who matched the sturdy, well-calved examples in his art. Good stuff.

    https://images.app.goo.gl/dxMsrGQ9J9fQmzzi8

    • Ted S.

      I guess we know now that l0b0t has a goot fetish.

      • l0b0t

        The card says MOOPS!

    • Roland of Gilead

      Well-calved. There’s a description you don’t see everyday.

  15. The Late P Brooks

    Sen. Angus King, I-Maine, said the idea that the national intelligence director’s office would stop briefing Congress on foreign threats to the U.S. election is “an outrage” and that written updates were “flatly insufficient.”

    “America’s election — indeed, our foundation of democracy itself — is under threat as we face weaponized disinformation from global foes around the planet,” King, a member of the Senate’s intelligence committee, said in a lengthy statement. “To stifle and limit the American peoples’ awareness of this fact cannot be explained — or allowed.”

    When everything is the end of the world, nothing is. Pull your dress down, Angus.

    • Drake

      I forgot about that guy. Still pretending to be Independent?

  16. Rhywun

    In case anyone was wondering what went down at the final sporting event I had decided to give a chance.

    At least they had the courtesy to stage their little to-do in the 7th minute, so I had plenty of time to fill with something more worthwhile after I shut that crap off.

    • Ted S.

      It’s astounding but unsurprising how quickly they went from “How dare the league force Colin Kaepernick to engage in their political theatre and he’s virtuous for protesting” to “Everybody must bow down to Kaepernick’s political theatre because we agree with it”.

  17. Fifth Knight of the Derp Table

    I love this place. Where else can you find a site that featured a picture submitted by a Jewish fellow so offensive towards Jews that the Gentiles openly objected one day, just to have a subthread consisting of compliments for Hitler the day after?

  18. The Late P Brooks

    If this is what winning looks like…

    One thing is clear: Pulling all of this off takes a lot of energy and can feel overwhelming. And it doesn’t help that one way people perpetuate systemic racism in America is by encouraging others to accept the status quo and reject many anti-racist ideas as too extreme.

    But there is no better feeling than really making progress on working to build a better world. And these tips offer great ideas for starting on a long and rewarding road.

    Above all, Color of Change’s Hatch suggests keeping one, optimistic thing in mind.

    “This is what winning looks like and feels like,” she says of the current drive toward racial equity in law enforcement, politics, corporate America and elsewhere. “The moral arc of history is on our side and we are getting closer and closer every day to a culture that actually embraces the beauty and creativity of Black people in our lives.”

    Another anti-racism lecture from NPR. Let’s tear it all down, and scratch trough the rubble for sustenance.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I don’t have a problem with them having their own stupid hot takes, I just don’t like having to pay for them. They’re a good gauge of how worthless the Republicans are, they couldn’t even defund NPR when 80 percent of their base would have stood up and cheered if they had done so.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That was when they thought they might still get a favorable interview with them. LOL.

    • Rhywun

      But there is no better feeling than really making progress on working to build a better world.

      Curious statement, given that the entire point of this propaganda is to convince people that progress cannot be made.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That’s just your white fragility talking. You must ignore the cognitive dissonance.

      • R C Dean

        I believe it’s “progress cannot be made” until white people are . . . disposed of.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      They’re so tired. These upper middle class DC swamp creatures are just exhausted, what with wearing their suits and banker’s shoes and having to stoop to tell everyone else how bad they are.

      • Viking1865

        The three richest counties in the US are the three counties where the government workers and contractors live.

      • Viking1865

        Like, just to make this clear: the 5th richest county in the US is Santa Clara County, CA, the heart of Silicon Valley, the center of the richest industry on the planet. But Fairfax County VA, Loudon County VA, and Howard County MD all have higher household income.

    • leon

      “The moral arc of history is on our side and we are getting closer and closer every day to a culture that actually embraces the beauty and creativity of Black people in our lives.”

      Sweetie, if it was inevitable, then we would have reached Utopia a long time ago.

      • Rhywun

        “our side”

        Interesting phrasing.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    White supremacists, under every bed

    More than 300 rioters threw stones at police and burned tyres in the southern Swedish city on Friday night after a video circulated of followers of the far-right Danish politician Rasmus Paludan burning a copy of the Qur’an near one of the city’s mosques.

    Crowds of young men wielded bars taken from street signs and metal barriers, and threw stones and fireworks after smashing up bus shelters. Further up the road, cars, tyres, pallets and rubbish bins were set ablaze.

    Police in Malmö had vacillated for two weeks over whether to give Rasmus Paludan, the leader of Denmark’s extremist Hard Line party permission to hold an anti-Islamic protest. Permission was denied on Wednesday, Paludan was stopped in a car on Friday afternoon as he left the Öresund bridge, deported and banned from entering Sweden for two years.

    But this did not stop his supporters from filming themselves burning one copy of the Qur’an, and kicking another around Malmö’s main square like a football, for which three of them were arrested on suspicion of hate crimes.

    ——-

    Throughout the night, police held their position at the crossroads marking the dividing line between Rosengård and central Malmö, pushing the rioters back with a series of charges.

    “Look at them, they can’t fight back fire with fire, that doesn’t work!” a young man, who called himself “the Somali pirate of Rosengård”, hooted in a strong north London accent. “They’re violating our civil rights by letting other people burn the Qur’an that we believe in and now we have to show that they can’t do that. It’s against us, so we’re against them. That’s how simple it is.”

    Just looking for an excuse to burn something down. That will make the world a better place.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      It’s not just stimulus-response with them, they aren’t animals. The excuse making for rioting has gotten old no matter where it’s coming from.

    • Fifth Knight of the Derp Table

      ‘They’re violating our civil rights by letting other people burn the Qur’an that we believe in and now we have to show that they can’t do that.’

      Interesting logic, there.

    • Gender Traitor

      Thank you! Your timing is perfect – I JUST got done going back & forth with a Sirius XM online chat support guy trying to figure out why I couldn’t connect (to my FAVORITE WEEKLY CHORAL MUSIC SHOW!!!) I haven’t got the online streaming working yet, but at least he refreshed one of our physical radios so I can listen to it docked in its boombox. I’m back in my happy place now!

      Those tweets are awesome!

      This needs to be over soon because my husband is starting to realize that I’m not out of his league.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    Many witnesses expressed their worries about how the Qur’an-burning and the angry reaction to it might change the city.

    Amar Mohsen, an 18-year-old whose mother is Russian and whose father is Iraqi, said politicians in the city should have done more to condemn the plans to burn the Qur’an. “The politicians in Sweden say: ‘It’s a human right. Do what you want. You live in a free country. You can burn a Qur’an in front of a mosque’. It’s not like that. It will affect many people and I think we will be more divided.”

    FREEDOM IS SLAVERY

    • WTF

      Hate speech isn’t free speech!

  21. Timeloose

    Billy Strings is coming to do a series of parking lot shows next week in my area. Should be pretty good. Live stage with a PA system and tailgate like parking.

    It’s not a bad way to see a concert but it’s still not normal.

    • Pi Guy

      Late to the party but am also surprised (goodly) that he plays electric.

      Still, I really love old school bluegrass.

  22. Don escaped Duopoly

    US and Sweden cross streams

    Looking at total deaths per capita:
    a/ Sweden continues at their asymptote, which is pretty much the EU ceiling
    b/ US shows a growth rate that is unique: either our demographics, laws, or reporting standards are different
    c/ US curve is typical to the American curves: Brasil, Boliva, Chile FWIW
    d/ at state level, the role of the EU will be played by NY, MA, NJ, etc, and the role of Brasil will be played by the hick states: MS, IN, LA

    join us tomorrow for new tea leaves and entrails

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Mostly peaceful arson and looting

    Demaag, an immigrant from Ethiopia, and his brother started the Chicago Furniture Warehouse almost 30 years ago, chasing their American dream of having their own business. But waves of mostly peaceful protests that swept Minneapolis after Floyd’s death were marred by several days of looting.

    More than a dozen businesses near E. Lake Street and Chicago Avenue were destroyed, including Demaag’s store. Overall, nearly 150 buildings were targeted and set afire, with dozens burning to the ground in Minneapolis and neighboring St. Paul, according to the StarTribune.

    ——-

    Demaag said looters initially broke into his store one evening during protests in late May and June and stole furniture. But they returned the next night, putting furniture outside and setting it on fire before burning down the whole store.

    The business was already struggling after being forced to close by the coronavirus pandemic and was destroyed within a week or two of reopening, he said. He has been dealing with financial and insurance issues since and feels little hope of rebuilding what was once a source of pride for his family.

    “You follow the American dream thinking you want to grow bigger, you want to serve your community and your people,” he said. “It’s just very distressful. Whoever hijacked the cause of the peaceful protest really did a huge damage, as you see it’s all crumbled and it’s just a very sad situation.”

    Demaag said the entire neighborhood, where many of the businesses were Black- and immigrant-owned, was struggling from the damage.

    “I think it’s been very traumatized because this is a neighborhood that was almost at zero and was growing fast for the better,” he said.

    What remains is rubble and storefronts boarded up with plywood.

    Justice and healing come at a price. Think of this as the thousand year omelette.

    • leon

      At this point I assume anyone saying “mostly peaceful protests” is being sarcastic. Or is a fully committed propogandist.

      • Spartacus

        I remember reading somewhere that most soldiers never get off a shot in an actual battle. So I guess by their standards, wars are mostly peaceful.

      • Don escaped Duopoly

        John Keegan: Face of Battle ?

      • Don escaped Duopoly

        John Keegan: Face of Battle ?

    • Grumbletarian

      Tish tosh, the business owner will just have a nice chat with their insurance company, who will wave their magic wand and a new business full of products just pops into existence!

      love,
      Vicky Osterweil

    • Agent Cooper

      “forced to close by the coronavirus pandemic”

      Yeah. That virus has such agency!

  24. Rhywun

    putting furniture outside and setting it on fire

    Interest twist on looting. They must be serious.

      • Rhywun

        Your link won’t open for me, so let me offer my own theory.

      • Gender Traitor

        How about this one?

        John H. Patterson built the National Cash Register Company with a flair for salesmanship, a gift for organization and an absolute genius for firing people. Some of his firings were truly spectacular: one executive returned to headquarters to find his desk and chair gloriously ablaze on the company lawn.

      • Rhywun

        he made the cash register the essential tool of retailing

        I suppose I should thank him for his contribution to keeping me employed through my college years.

    • Sean

      Curbside pickup.

  25. l0b0t

    It’s 70° here at the beach with a breeze strong enough to make me don a sweater. Sipping a very strong Polish stout (Zywiec), watching the parking wars begin. Already spotted 2 crazy people, a gaggle of uniformed velocipedists, dozens of surfers, and 1 pretty intense couple fight on their way to the beach (that doesn’t auger well).

    • Rhywun

      Time to shut down the beaches again.

    • Count Potato

      “a gaggle of uniformed velocipedists”

      ???

      • Gender Traitor

        I’m guessing cops on bikes.

  26. The Late P Brooks

    This is how you write a headline

    Democrats Look to Hatch Act to Try to Stop Trump Administration from Politicizing Government

    I’m shocked. SHOCKED, I tell you, to hear people are politicizing government.

  27. PieInTheSky

    the site is working very poorly for me today

    • Sean

      Trump’s fault.

    • Crusty Juggler

      So that’s your excuse was to why you have stayed silent on police violence!

  28. Rufus the Monocled

    ‘Vulnerable guests”

    Did they bother to ask whether the Italians seem them as guests? The arrogant stupidity of these assholes.

    They’ve been doing shit like this for a couple of years now. Richard Gere was breaking Italian law doing that. When Salvini was in power he put a stop to it.

  29. Rufus the Monocled

    London had protests too.

  30. The Other Kevin

    Looks like another shooting last night inPortland. There was a MAGA car rally and Antifa shot and killed one of the participants. Then proceeded to celebrate.

    • leon

      So much for the murder free canard about antifa.

      • R C Dean

        “But the shooter wasn’t a confirmed, card carrying, fully paid up member in good standing of a recognized antifa chapter!”

      • The Other Kevin

        And also antifa doesn’t exist.

      • leon

        Have you considered a job at slate?

      • Agent Cooper

        He did not admit to be antifa, so he’s not.

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      https://twitter.com/MrAndyNgo/status/1299951299417370624

      The energy here is joyous now. Dancing, chanting, an American flag burns, and this dude has a dope sign.

      Reminds me of the Arab world after 9/11. This is ramping and isn’t going to end well.

      • Tejicano

        I would bet there are people in the DNC who have a better understanding of the average American and they are not happy about how this will turn out.

      • WTF

        I doubt it, their too far inside their bubble, and are only thinking about how to spin it to blame Trump.

      • WTF

        “They’re “

      • Tejicano

        I’m not saying a lot of them, just some number of them are probably thinking this isn’t a good idea. They aren’t anywhere near the controls so this won’t stop until the election is over.

      • Viking1865

        This is what I thought would not happen: I did not think right wingers would organize, arm up, and convoy down into the center of the cities. I thought that right wingers, for the most part, would be happy to sit out in the burbs and the sticks. They went down in Portland in big convoys of trucks with Trump flags and American flags waving. They had dudes sitting in the truck beds who sprayed bear mace when Antifa tried their usual blocking tactics. They were basically doing presence operations.

        Maybe it was a one off. Maybe the death of one of them will make them say “You know what, fuck it, this isn’t worth it.” Or maybe, tomorrow night, or next weekend, they roll back down to Portland, only this time they’re there to collect the heads to build the samadh.

      • leon

        I thought like you too. I think the riots in Kenosha flipped a switch in a lot of peoples brains. This wasn’t just a thing that antifa was going to contain to Left Wing enclaves in uber-progressive cities.

        Driving around macing people is a super asshole thing to do. So i guess Mayor Wheeler is totally okay with it.

      • Viking1865

        They were driving down a public street, and Antifa was blocking them, so they maced them. If you block the streets, and the cops don’t clear them, eventually vigilantes will.

        Like, we keep coming back to this with the “both sides” thing. You have no civil right to block people from going where they wish to go on public property. Either the State enforces free passage for all, or at some point the people wishing to move as they please will take matters into their own hands.

        The video of the murder is not super clear, but it looks like to me that some rightwing dude with a Patriot Prayer hat was on the sidewalk, got called out by a commie, and another commie walked up and kill him with two shots.

        Women have the right to walk home from the bar in short skirts, and Trumpers have the right to drive down the streets of Portland without being blocked in or having shit thrown at their cars.

        They Portland PD better find that guy really fucking quick, or you might see a no shit sectarian reprisal Northern Ireland style.

      • leon

        My understanding was that they had been drive-by macing people. Certainly macing someone who has illegally detained you on the public fairway is probably the best outcome (better than getting run over, or you getting pulled out and beaten.

        The murder appears to be a straight up execution, and the fact that they celebrated it is, as i have come to the conculsion, barbaric. These people are not civilized or peaceful, they are roving barbarians.

        I agree the portland PD needs to find the murderer, or you will probably soon see some people hanging from lamposts

      • Viking1865

        “My understanding was that they had been drive-by macing people.”

        The video I have seen has them returning thrown objects with mace, or macing people rushing up to the bed of the truck. I have not seen video of them just driving up alongside the sidewalk and macing pedestrians.

        “I agree the portland PD needs to find the murderer, or you will probably soon see some people hanging from lamposts”

        Yeah my sort of wild theory/speculation is that all the MAGA guys are gonna go to work on Monday out in the rural and suburban counties, and if they don’t catch the guy during the week, they might just roll back next weekend with a different ROE.

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        I don’t think drive-by macing is a fair characterization from the videos I’ve seen. Here’s one below. It’s Antifa pulling their tactic of trying to ambush vehicles in the street and getting maced in response.

        https://twitter.com/MrAndyNgo/status/1299913296443658240

      • leon

        I hadn’t watched any videos, just seen claims of drive by macing on twitter. Should have known they were mischaracterized.

      • westernsloper

        I just watched a video, and then closed twitter so I will never be able to find it again, of the truck guys indeed driving down the street and macing and shooting paint balls from the back of the truck at protestors on the sidewalk. As well as macing those trying to block them. I am kind of hating everyone there right now. Eventually the marxists are just going to shoot the guys in the back of the trucks if they keep that up.

      • Viking1865

        “Should have known they were mischaracterized.”

        Yeah you cannot believe their words. These people are constantly filming everything, all the time. Whenever they are assaulting a business owner or a random non commie there’s five or six phones recording.

        If they had video that backed up their claims, they would post it. If they’re just saying it, it’s almost certainly a lie.

        If they had video of a MAGA dude committing unprovoked assault, you’d be watching it on the MSM right now.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yep, supposed independent “press” that is little more than propagandists and apologists for antifa at best, and usually abetting their acts.

        Another thing antifa was doing was filming participants and license plates of the trucks so they can later dox them and smear them as white supremacists or fascists (depending on how the wind blows).

      • Plinker762

        From people I know out here, it is seen by many in the eastern parts of the PNW that Seattle rules WA and Portland rules OR. I believe it is push back at the “heart of the problem”.

    • The Other Kevin

      Will that DA let a murder suspect walk?

      • leon

        I’m saying: yes

      • Tejicano

        I am expecting that the police in each of these areas are keeping tabs on the video streams coming out from all these incidents and will be rounding up suspects once this woke song and dance is over in November. I think the daily ‘catch and release’ (plus the unmarked car roundup) is being done to establish that each of these suspects were actually at the place/time when the incidents occurred.

        Once the riots have served their purpose the useful idiots can serve their sentences.

    • Roland of Gilead

      Nope. Ample bosom and pert posterior.

    • Drake

      I assume I’ll be a casualty in civil war 2, but it would be interesting to see how historians distinguish between the run-up and the actual war.

      • leon

        We’re at the bleeding Kansas phase.

      • WTF

        Sadly that’s not hyperbole. Good job lefties, you may finally get the civil war you think you wanted.

      • Drake

        I still think the Rubicon will be around the events of the 2024 election.

      • Don escaped Duopoly

        hint: Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead

    • WTF

      Because next time the Trump supporters all show up strapped. Pretty easy to imagine what happens then.

      • TARDIS

        A bunch of Xboxes and Playstations end up on eBay?

    • leon

      But the mayor of Portland really told Trump if in his letter rejecting federal aid.

  31. Rufus the Monocled

    Has anyone been paying attention to what’s happening in Australia? MY GOD, the cops seem to be relishing violating human rights. Their media came up with this: Mask dodger.

    Unfuckenreal.

    • Rhywun

      Has anyone been paying attention to what’s happening in Australia?

      No, it’s too depressing.

      • Rufus the Monocled

        Tell me about it.

      • R C Dean

        They are reverting to their original state as an open air prison.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Clive James observed that not only are Aussies descended from prisoners but from prison guards too. (Thank you, Toby Young’s podcast.)

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        They mandate bicycle helmets for adults, for crying in a cup.

  32. l0b0t

    CUSHLAMOCHREE!!! These newfangled wetsuits, that are no thicker than yoga pants, leave nothing to the imagination; particularly when worn by the redhead surfer who just walked by. Like a ginger angel she was.

    • Animal

      What, no pics?

  33. The Late P Brooks

    Schoolteacher Barbie says, “Teaching is hard. Not fair.”

    Veteran K-12 teachers in states across the U.S. are resigning and retiring at higher rates as schools begin reopening amid the coronavirus pandemic this fall, with educators citing the stress tied to remote learning, technical difficulties and COVID-19 health concerns.

    Several teachers who recently resigned, retired or opted out of their jobs ahead of pandemic reopening efforts say leaving their kids has been hard, but remote learning has made their jobs too difficult. One Florida teacher said she became paranoid due to the constant requirement of being live-streamed to dozens of students throughout all hours of the day. And an Arizona high school science teacher said he resigned from a job he loves after his district voted to return students to in-person classroom learning—creating a health risk he and many other teachers say they aren’t willing to take.

    ——-

    “I had to consider the health of my family. I am a science teacher. We gather evidence and we make decisions. If there is competing data, we look at both and weigh them,” Kevin Fairhurst, who resigned from his teaching position at Arizona’s Queen Creek Unified School District on August 13, told Healthline. “The data from the experts in our health field suggested we should not yet be teaching in person because of the potential for this to cause more outbreaks.”

    ——-

    “So, there was the stress of figuring all that out and just the fact of what would be constant paranoia of being exposed to potentially like 80 to 100 kids a day. It wouldn’t be a satisfying life to live for me personally. So I made the difficult decision to resign a little over a week ago now,” Smith continued.

    You look at all the data which supports your preconceptions, anyway. Now define “outbreak”.

    Those poor poor teachers. For years, they have been swanning around the classroom using the same lesson plan they have used for ages, patting their little favorites on the head and shaming the black sheep. Now, all of a sudden, they have to actually make an effort. Oh, woe.

    • Rufus the Monocled

      Kevin is FULL OF SHIT because the data DOES NOT support what this jerk off is saying.

      Good. Get lost. Get some real men in there.

      • Count Potato

        “Get some real men in there.”

        That probably won’t happen.

    • Spartacus

      Some of my faculty, having been forced to create videos by going online, now want to teach online all the time so they can keep replaying the same videos.
      My response:
      1) if you want to do that then the class size needs to be raised from 35 to 200, and
      2) our promotion criteria emphasize “continuous improvement in pedagogy”. Replaying the same videos over and over is exactly the opposite, and will guarantee a negative recommendation from the Dean.

  34. Drake

    I’ve come to appreciate online church. Whenever our commie interim minister gets too annoying, I can just turn it off without making a scene.

  35. The Late P Brooks

    Violence. Chaos. Vigilantism.

    THIS IS TRUMP’S AMERICA!

  36. Mojeaux

    Mornin’, OMWC. The pic on the home page got a “meh” out of me but I laughed at the bird beak pic.

    I cannot even with the contortions to paint the prog-fascists and a rapist as victims.

    I am also unable to even with the teachers’ whining. It’s enough to make me think about getting my teaching cert so I can get some of that filthy tax lucre.

    *goes back to sticking head in the sand*

  37. The Late P Brooks

    Let’s talk about the NBA. The White House hates black people.

    • PieInTheSky

      All I can say right now of the NBA is that I made a bet of 1 dollar at 1220 to 1 odds. wish me luck.

  38. The Late P Brooks

    Biden’s guy on on.

    Trump BROKE AMERICA! Do we really trust him to fix it?

    Those sneaky bastards at the Republikkkin convention were trying to steal black voters away from their rightful owners. How dare they?

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Drapetomania!

  39. leon

    I can’t believe that they Dems had Kamala do the rebuttal speach against Trump. why not just come out and say you are running her not Biden?

  40. The Late P Brooks

    Trump tanked the economy. Joe Biden will put America back to work.

    Right after he completely locks down the economy for six months, and starts having people thrown in jail for not wearing masks.

    It’s SCIENCE.

    • leon

      Got to destroy it completely before you can build it back better.

    • PieInTheSky

      Joe Biden will put America back to work. – gulags are honest work. read that on tankie twitter.

  41. Plinker762

    I witnessed the fall of the Berlin wall and the Soviet Union. I was there when we downloaded the last nuclear armed cruise missiles from the B-52s. I really hope I don’t get to witness another major event in history but I see few that appear to be working to reduce the current political street violence.

  42. The Late P Brooks

    Maybe some of you wealthy black athletes should have a sitdown with your pals in the Democratic party about the criminalization-of-everything program they have eagerly participated in for decades. Maybe invite Biden, to hear him him talk about his record of respect for the black community.

  43. The Late P Brooks

    Right wing agitators!

    • Count Potato

      DUCK SEASON!

      • Ted S.

        RABBIT SEASON!

    • WTF

      Defending your property from violent looters and arsonists is not murder, and destroying property of people who had nothing to do with a killing is irrational evil, you fucking moron.

    • Viking1865

      “Person A burning Person B’s store while Person B is inside because Person C killed Person D (who has no relation to Person A at all) is actually an example of great justice” -Someone who really, really, really hasn’t thought through the downfalls of introducing the legitimization of collective reprisal into the country.

      • leon

        You are giving them too much credit to say that they might even attempt at thinking this through. This is just rationalization to put their morals at ease. I has no basis in any logic and is a entierly glib and retarded thing to say.

      • Don escaped Duopoly

        collectivism notwithstanding, put the shoe on the other foot: imagine, dear rioter, that YOUR stuff gets burned down because reasons of which none were of your doing

        We are told that Socrates characterized justice as giving a man what is due him

      • leon

        Justice is a squirmy word, that I think gets abused. But the definition you give, is close to the one I world give. Justice being given what you deserve.

      • UnCivilServant

        “What you deserve” is as squiggly a definition. You will not see a consistant response as to what it means on most cases.

      • Tejicano

        To me poetic justice would be for every arsonist to be given a government issue t-shirt and shorts to wear while all of his/her possessions are burned while they watch. All clothes, furniture, birth certificates, iPhones, PC’s, cars, wallet and ID, – everything into the fire. Any cash or money they had in bank accounts go to their victims.

    • Tejicano

      Hey, Kristallnacht was nothing but a small number of windows accidently broken by a few enthusiastic mostly peaceful political activists. Nobody was really hurt in all that. The bombing of Dresden was totally out of proportion to that.

    • creech

      “FY Systemic Racism TW.”

  44. westernsloper

    I don’t know how many times I have heard news readers say “there is no evidence of voter fraud” with mail in ballots.

    • Count Potato

      There is no cannibalism in the Royal Navy.

  45. The Late P Brooks

    The President wants to politicize the situation in Kenosha!

  46. The Late P Brooks

    Trump has made no effort to bridge the gap with black people. All those black people at the Republican convention must have been some sort of hologrammatic voodoo.

    • Plinker762

      Bought and paid for race traitors.

    • Rhywun

      I bet some of his best friends are black.

  47. creech

    Drake, above, at #40: “I’ve come to appreciate online church. Whenever our commie interim minister gets too annoying, I can just turn it off without making a scene.”
    Are any of the Christians out there starting to find their faith slipping away? The pastor this morning was praying again (five and half months now) for God to guide our leaders and scientists through the pandemic and for us to remain faithful to His promise. Now most people used to believe (and some still do) that disasters, war, calamities are God’s way of punishing humans for evil-doing. (e.g. Aids was a punishment for condoning homosexual behavior). Others, I understand, are starting to think God is callously indifferent to human suffering or, if atheistic, use these events to laugh at those who believe in a benevolent and all powerful God.
    So, have recent events strengthened or weakened your faith in God?

    • Animal

      I am an atheist, but have never laughed at those who believe in any God whatsoever, although I do find some variants on religion (e.g. Young Earth Creationism) rather silly.

      Just because I don’t share your beliefs doesn’t mean I don’t understand that they have value for you. Add to that the fact that the First Amendment absolutely protects your right to the free practice of that religion. I never have and never will laughed at those who believe.

      At least 90% of human wisdom can be summed up in the words “mind your own damn business.” That applies here.

    • LCDR_Fish

      Our pastor’s sermon today was really solid – I can post a link later when it goes up if anyone’s interested. I love the teaching/preaching at this place, but the worship just hits me wrong every time (need to talk to one of the local guys again). Same place I attended in 2014-2016.

      In the middle of all this…they’re planting a church in Louisville, KY (from Fredericksburg, VA) – obviously started well before the pandemic, but time/place/etc is just working out really well for outreach, etc.

    • WTF

      At least there are responses pointing out that Trump is pro-LGBTQ and was before he ever ran for office.

  48. The Late P Brooks

    A trillion here, a trillion there…

    Congress is at a “tragic impasse” for the next stimulus package, says Pelosi, a California Democrat. Pelosi told Republicans that there won’t be further discussions until Republicans agree to a $2.2 trillion stimulus package, which is nearly double the size of the original Republican stimulus proposal known as the Heals Act.

    “We have said again and again that we are willing to come down [and] meet them in the middle,” Pelosi said to reporters, referring to Senate Republicans. “That would be $2.2 trillion. When they’re ready to do that, we’ll be ready to discuss and negotiate. I did not get that impression on that call.”

    Pelosi is referring to a 25-minute call that she had with White House Chief of Staff Mark Meadows on Thursday. The phone call was the first discussion on the stimulus package between Democrats and Republicans since August 7, when many expected Congress to pass the next stimulus package. The issue is clear: Republicans aren’t interested in doubling the size of the next stimulus package. Republicans proposed the Heals Act, a $1 trillion stimulus package, as the next stimulus package. In contrast, Democrats proposed the Heroes Act, a $3 trillion stimulus bill. While Pelosi wants to meet in the middle, Republicans say they’re concerned about total stimulus spending, which has already exceeded several trillion dollars.

    “That could be a very short conversation if they’re not willing to meet in the middle. We’re not budging. They have to move.”

    On Meet the Press, Meadows said when he asked what they were planning to do with the money, Nancy told him they’d have to fork it over to find out.

    Politics ain’t beanbag.

    • Rhywun

      “We’re graciously willing to come down from our proposal of eleventy kajillion dollars that the Republicans sneered at.”

      • Grumbletarian

        And those nasty Republican racists just refuse to compromise with us!

  49. Count Potato

    “So they’re just gonna go back to their screaming rallies like there is no Covid, just because their Dear Leader needs the ego boost. Then they’ll be in supermarkets and at outdoor restaurants and Home Depot with you, putting your health at risk. THAT’s the danger to the suburbs.”

    https://twitter.com/JoyAnnReid/status/1299734215202832384

    CWAA

    • Count Potato

      “Hi @JoyAnnReid
      -I’m the guy whose event you’re criticizing here.Since I have your attention, I’m also the gay man who was anti-gay attacked just over 24 hours ago by #BLM (see link). When you’re finished blaming me for Covid, would u mind telling this story?”

      https://twitter.com/BrandonStraka/status/1299742596802150400

    • Viking1865

      The sheer fucking chutzpah of that. Becoming very very clear to me that the continued lockdowns are solely to make sure only the Left can have big rallies.

  50. Count Potato

    “Hey non-black artists before you even think about it how about you don’t draw Black Panther art for in memoriam clout not saying you can’t grieve but consider giving that space of expression to Black people first”

    https://twitter.com/TaliaMirai/status/1299540444049743872

    OFFS!!

    • Rhywun

      #endracism ?

    • Ted S.

      White people’s donations to the Blue Hat Fund take away from black people’s space of charity too, don’t they?

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      clout?

  51. The Late P Brooks

    “Why don’t people take me seriously?

    Sen. Chris Murphy, D-Conn., said Saturday President Trump is “deliberately killing people” with his rallies amid the coronavirus pandemic.

    “Can we take the gloves off and tell the truth? Trump is deliberately killing people,” Murphy wrote on Twitter. “He holds rallies where people get infected. On Thursday, no social distancing or masks, sending a clear message that the CDC should be ignored.”

    “His plan is to kill people. Let’s just say it,” Murphy continued.

    ——-

    “These guys are stone cold killers. The next 50,000 people who die are their responsibility,” Murphy wrote on Twitter Friday. “They sat right next to each other and didn’t wear masks intentionally. They knew they were setting an example that would be followed and they reveled in it.”

    What a maroon.

    • Rhywun

      I’m thinking more that Trump’s plan is to make assholes like Murphy look like r-tards.

    • Count Potato

      It’s a communist Chinese virus so it doesn’t infect people at left-wing gatherings. That’s just basic science.

    • Rhywun

      Wisconsin is such a food desert they have to be supplied from Oregon.

  52. The Late P Brooks

    “Seattle-based activists arrested in Kenosha after filling up gas cans”

    White supremacist agitators confirmed.

    • Trolleric the Goth

      knew without hovering that was gonna be a daily mail link, they always find the weirdest stuff