About The Author

CPRM

CPRM

Organic troll farmer.

322 Comments

  1. Brochettaward

    I know CPRM. Great guy. Great guy. Not a Firster like myself, but Great Guy.

  2. But Enough About My Prostate

    Some online wags are already referring to the Biden/Harris ticket as “HoJo.”

    Yikes.

    • CPRM

      Not smart enough to come up with Harriden?

      • westernsloper

        Having stayed at a Howard Johnsons back in the day I think HoJo’s fits. Low end overnight facility you don’t want to spend any time at. Or given Kamala’s past Joesho also fits.

      • CPRM

        aside from sounding like Sheraton Hotels;

        har·ri·dan
        /ˈherəd(ə)n/
        Learn to pronounce
        noun
        a strict, bossy, or belligerent old woman.
        “a bullying old harridan”

      • westernsloper

        I met one of those today.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Not smart enough to come up with Harriden?

        Alright–shut it down. Shut it down, now. C wins his own post. And, the internet.

  3. dbleagle

    Yep….announcement of Harris or not, HRC is still “loading”.

  4. westernsloper

    “you’ll never know who the winner is but the winner is going to be me”……best Trumpism ever.

    PS: Hillary has possessed Kamala? I mean, I am sure she could do it but didn’t see it coming.

    • Drake

      Harris did seem like an empty vessel – at least when Willie Brown wasn’t round.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Filled with Willie?

        Oh….

    • juris imprudent

      It would explain the plasticized face.

  5. LCDR_Fish

    Sharing again because my first post on the last thread is still pending.

    Bought some scifi comics from this guy last year on indiegogo – and just ordered his new “Sh*tposts” book. Good stuff. Straight up sugarfree territory. Can not recommend enough.

    https://twitter.com/GPrime85/status/1291742144445779969

    Additional comics on his twitter – or the links in my pending post.

  6. DEG

    “The younger the better”

    I laughed.

    • Rhywun

      #metoo

      Trump was at his best this week.

      • CPRM

        Smart people know it. Stupid people may not know it.

  7. Lackadaisical

    You called it bub, as soon as you scheduled the post, Biden’s handlers were sending out the talking points.

  8. Timeloose

    SPACE!!!

  9. Drake

    Usually a VP picks brings something to the table – a state the nominee might not win otherwise, a demographic or voting block he’s weak with. Pence helps Trump keep the Christian conservative types happy despite Trump’s womanizing past.

    I can’t think what Harris brings. She’s a transparent phony when it comes to race and she has a history of locking up people “from the community”. California isn’t in play. She got a nasty reputation as a Senator and won’t bring in moderate Whites. She downplayed her own Indian heritage to the point where I doubt Asians like her. And she’s kind of dumb so she’ll do poorly in debates and interviews.

    But Biden’s really dumb and backed himself into an impossible corner with his promises of a black lady VP. Other than Gabbard, none of them brought anything more to the table. Susan Rice certainly didn’t – is she from any state or did she just emerge from the DC Swamp? Stacy Abrams couldn’t win an election in Georgia and probably wouldn’t help Biden there. Karen Bass is a straight-up commie and would ensure a Biden loss in FL. He had no pick once he made that stupid promise.

    • Sean

      She smoked pot in college and then put black men in jail as a cop.

      Drug use and racism. What could be more Democrat? She’s the ideal pick.

      • Lackadaisical

        Was that when she listened to Tupac before he had made any music?

      • Sean

        ??

      • Urthona

        Yeah. To be fair, she was also lying about the smoking pot thing. Trying to seem culturally black.

    • Don did not Escape Bama

      I wonder if this shows up in the tracking for Biden’s electoral college polls or DJT45’s popularity polls.

    • peachy rex

      Rice was the low-risk option, I thought – would reassure soi-disant “moderates” that a career swamp creature was ready to take the reins, and no domestic policy history to run against. The Harris choice means that the Dems are terrified of losing on law’n’order, or that they’re terrified of Durham, or borh. Still a dumb choice – Harris was so resoundingly rejected by the *Dem base* that she bailed months before Iowa.

      • juris imprudent

        Not even on the ballot in her home state, so you can at least say she wasn’t embarrassed like Warren was in MA.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        , or that they’re terrified of Durham

        This is why. Whether or not Durham actually drops indictments, the threat of a possible indictment eliminated Rice. She’d be a perfect “big fish” candidate for an indictment, and the possibility of having your VP under suspicion weeks before the election is too risky.

    • Naptown Bill

      I think he could’ve done well with Warren, maybe Klobuchar. Even Rice would’ve given all the dopes pining away for the Obama presidency (reminds me of the first W term) a little tingle up the leg for the good ol’ days. Harris? I mean, shit, it’s like he’s purposely trying his best to lose.

      • Don did not Escape Bama

        I thought Klobuchar was the adult in the room and an excellent vector for Team Blue for the decade.

        Then cops were out of favor, especially MSP cops.

        But now a cop anyway so long as it’s a POC ?

      • Rhywun

        Yep. But that was before the Dems demanded he had to choose a candidate of color.

      • juris imprudent

        As though Jamaican-Indian really resonates with blacks that can trace their American-ness back to before the Civil War.

      • peachy rex

        I never thought that they could find a black politician less representative of the African American experience than Obama… and yet, here we are.

      • Hyperion

        If you don’t think Kamala is black, then you ain’t black! /Biden

      • CPRM

        How far back in American history can Barry trace his Black heritage? Seemed to work out for him.

      • Hyperion

        Look, the democrats said Harris is black. Not as black as Rice and definitely not as black as any of the other choices. But the democrats said she’s black and that should be good enough for their black voters. They’re simple folk anyway, so it’s best we tell them who is black.

        Poor Stacey Abrams, they really thought they would pick her. That’s what you get when you put your hopes in rats, snakes, and commies.

      • totally_not_an_escaped_ai

        But the democrats said she’s black and that should be good enough

        Rachel Dolezal wholeheartedly agrees with that logic.

      • Hyperion

        Because democratic party, we love democracy! Now do what we say!

      • pistoffnick

        Special K has her own skeletons (under prosecuting bad cops, over prosecuting victimless crimes)

      • Hyperion

        Yeah, to be honest, I always thought, as I have said here for a long time, it would be Warren. And I’m sure that it would have been, had not the dems bowed to more wokeness and flopped over. But then I thought it would be Rice. I’m not sure what’s going on, unless they really do want to lose so they can keep the riots going for 4 more years.

      • westernsloper

        My hope was it would be Rice. Good god, the heads in the sand might even learn what a fucking evil corrupt woman she is just due to Trump campaign ads. The last year of the Obama administration is arguably the most corrupt in American history and that cunt was in the middle of it. I might even wager if I was of the sort that she is named in Durham’s investigation if I was a hopeful person but I am not that kind of person.

  10. Sean

    Is my AK useable against space aliens? I’d like to know more!

    • Drake

      Fuckin commie guns aren’t going to space!

      • Sean

        Good luck feeding your 5.56 these days.

        I’m knee deep in 5.45 and 7.62×39.

    • Timeloose

      You need the large full auto LMG with the frame support from Aliens.

  11. Enough About Palin

    Biden/Harris

    The Joe-Blow ticket.

    • juris imprudent

      We have a winner!

  12. Drake

    I’m not sure who Shaun King is, but neither is he.

    • Rhywun

      LOL if true

    • juris imprudent

      aka Talcum X

      • Bobarian LMD

        Thurgood Partial
        W.E.B Du Blanc
        Snow J Simpson
        Martin Luther Cream
        Cream Abdul-Jabbar
        Tupac Sugar
        Alexander Scamilton
        Chaka Con

    • Hyperion

      Does he know about the internet forever thing?

  13. Sean

    Great stuff CPRM.

  14. commodious spittoon

    The way forward is clear: Trump fires Pence, runs with Tulsi.

    • Don did not Escape Bama

      I could get behind Tulsi

      • Lackadaisical

        Heh
        Me too.

    • Hyperion

      Ya’ll just aint gonna get over Tulsi’s tits are you? Could Trump really make her Sec of State? I mean a commie Sec of State, but with tits, The best tits. Best Sec of State with the best tits.

      • Sean

        *Lights the Q signal*

      • Rhywun

        The classiest tits.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Gustave Lytton on August 11, 2020 at 5:29 pm
        show me your tits!

        You drive a hard bargain, H, but I’m sold on Tulsi now.

        Reply

    • Sean

      Nope. Nope. Nope.

      Dumps Pence and runs with Kanye.

      • Hyperion

        Right after he de-schedules weed and announces that Tulsi’s tits are gonna pull all the troops out of the Middle East?

        Trump/Kanye 2020, we got the weed, the peace, and the tits!

        I’m going to need more popcorn.

        I’m pretty sure that’s gonna horrify some 80 year old women voters in FL, but I’m a vote for that.

    • Gender Traitor

      Condi or GTFO!

  15. Hyperion

    MOAR SPACE HAT!

    • CPRM

      So you would like to know moar?

      • Hyperion

        I’m here all day.

      • Rhywun

        The only good commie is a dead commie.

      • Sean

        *Hands General Rhywun an AK*

        #Bringbacon&bourbon

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Tell you what–I’ll take a Valmet, or, a Sig 556xi, or, a FNFAL.

        OK, maybe an AK clone from some country that was capitalistic before the USSR went kaput.

        /no, not Norinco!

  16. Gustave Lytton

    The Breakfast Ticket: Corn pop/Bacon.

    • Hyperion

      Dementia/Cunte ticket.

    • Drake

      Jo/Ho

      • Hyperion

        ha!

    • straffinrun

      Pigs in a blanket, elect’em like Reagan.

  17. Ted S.

    Poor Boston and Carolina.

    • Hyperion

      What happened to Carolina?

      • Ted S.

        They’re in a bubble waiting for the first game to finish.

      • I'm Here To Help

        Don’t usually have much sympathy for the referees. Heck, I’m usually pretty hostile towards them. But good lord, these poor guys don’t get line changes…

  18. Nephilium

    Well shit. The greater Cleveland area has its first brewery announce they’re closing. Brim Kitchen (Willoughby, OH) has its last day on August 16th, they opened in 2017.

    • DEG

      Shit.

    • Hyperion

      Strange, I could swear that I heard a few people around here predicting that, well years ago.

      They don’t care to control them right now, after, they get a surprise when they still cannot control them.

    • CPRM

      Distancing the movement from a grifter like Jesse Jackson, good move.
      Distancing the movement from a grifter like Jesse Jackson because he isn’t as crazy as you, uh…
      #Biden/Harris2020

    • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

      Wanted moar gubmint…well, choke on it.

      Ooooh–sorry (not sorry)!

  19. BakedPenguin

    I was going to start a Zoomchat at 9 ET, if anyone cares, click on the chat.

    Meeting ID: 462 953 0043
    Passcode: 3uKnka

    • westernsloper

      I’m not putting a shirt back on on a weekday. Not to mention I am in bed in an hour. Woke up at 2 this morning so today kicked my ass.

      • CPRM

        I’m still up since this time yesterday, but then again I have the night off and was surprised to find out the cartoon was being published the same day I uploaded it.

      • SP

        It was just too timely. It had to go up tonight, after I heard the rumors of an announcement happening today.

      • CPRM

        Thanks, I actually waited this long to see if I could crest the wave with some actual reference to the pick, but decided to just run with this joke instead of waiting, it timed itself well.

      • Rhywun

        I heard the rumors of an announcement happening today

        ?

      • UnCivilServant

        I’ve heard no such thing.

        /playing Skyrm all afternoon

      • CPRM

        You have a bunch of sex mods for it right? /lonely in cheeseland

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s even sadder than that.

        I’m 5 achievements away from 100%

      • CPRM

        I played it using a 360 controller on PC, but the shoulder buttons (needed in that configuration for Dragon Shouts) were shitty, so I gave up on the final boss. I got a newer controller since then, maybe I should finally finish it.

      • UnCivilServant

        Controllers hurt my hands to work with, so I avoid them.

      • Gadfly

        It’s even sadder than that.

        I’m 5 achievements away from 100%

        Skyrim is one of the few games that I’ve ever 100%-ed the achievements. I enjoyed the heck out of it, and when I’m done with a game and sitting at 95% complete and the other 5% aren’t some stupid inane BS I’m tempted to go for it.

      • UnCivilServant

        One of the ones I had been missing until recently was ‘shoot the sun with a magic arrow’.

        You wouldn’t think that would be so hard, but it’s always snowing or raining in Skyrim, and finding the sun to shoot it was difficult.

      • Gadfly

        You wouldn’t think that would be so hard, but it’s always snowing or raining in Skyrim, and finding the sun to shoot it was difficult.

        It’s been ages since I’ve played, and though I do remember this being generally true I’m pretty sure there are parts of the map (such as the hot springs) that are usually sunny. Of course, once you’ve cleared an area of the map of quests you generally fast travel past it from then on, so it could be easy to miss.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        When it first came out, I used the hell out of the glitches/whatever that let you compound stats on potions that then compounded stats on forged items.

        Weapons doing over a billion per hit was teh AWESOME!

      • BakedPenguin

        CPRM – there was a short chat on chat about H&H, and the general agreement was that this edition was top shelf.

      • Hyperion

        Come on dude, give us your best Putin. Is there a bear round there you can catch and ride in there?

      • Rhywun

        I’m not putting a shirt back on on a weekday.

        #meneither

  20. BakedPenguin

    I’m not putting a shirt back on on a weekday.

    Who asked you to? Also, this is probably a 40 minute chat, since I’m too cheap to pay for the full version.

    • BakedPenguin

      Oops. P Brooks’ed it.

    • Hyperion

      Broketard is going full commando again anyway, right?

    • westernsloper

      Next time BP. Have a good night!

      • BakedPenguin

        It’s okay. 40 minute time frame just closed me out.

  21. CPRM

    I think I have officially voiced more hats than any voice actor in history.

    • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

      Well, you wear multiple hats with these productions, so, it’s only natural.

  22. KibbledKristen

    On the Patreon thingie, how do I make it so my Glibs name shows, not my real name?

    • KibbledKristen

      OMG take my money

      • CPRM

        Not sure about on Patreon itself, but I ask all Patrons how they want to be credited, and then I insult them in the credits.

      • KibbledKristen

        Yeah, I was thinking there was, like, a place to put a note or something. I’ll just submit the payment and send my assassins after you if I see my real name 🙂

      • CPRM

        Another glib signed up today as well, and messaged me out right how he wanted to be credited, but I messaged you to check as well. I got no idea how how the front-end works, I just make cartoons and insult people.

  23. Yusef drives a Kia

    BRAVO! Far beyond good, A true tour de Force!

    • CPRM

      A Magnum Force, if you will.

  24. LemonGrenade

    Plus points for the Starship Troopers (the movie) reference. Loved it, as always.

    • Brochettaward

      Mojo was hoping you were dead yesterday in the morning links.

      • Mojeaux

        ?

  25. straffinrun

    Well done, especially with the “The younger the better” cut. Smooth. Now I’m curious where that audio came from.

    • CPRM

      I didn’t know i’d be asked to cite my sources.

      • CPRM

        It’s some where in this video. Trump was talking about how kids are ‘immune’; so right there you can see how different my cartoon brain works from what was reported and clipped by the MSM.

      • straffinrun

        Oh. Thought it might be older. A Weiner reference or something.

      • CPRM

        Only a square thinks of context. I can make anything soundbite sound dirty.

    • Gender Traitor

      Yup. That’s the money shot.

    • KibbledKristen

      Am I a bad person because I hope my ultra-prog friends that live there get driven out and turned into basic bitch NIMBYs?

      • Gustave Lytton

        I would hope they would string the DA up along with his antifa friends.

      • Gender Traitor

        You’re probably a bad person, but not for that reason.
        /fellow bad person

    • The Hyperbole

      Meh, sounds like they are letting off the people they don’t have evidence of violence or theft against, which I would imagine is how it should be*.

      His prosecutors won’t pursue demonstrators accused of interfering with police, disorderly conduct, criminal trespass, escape or harassment if the allegations don’t involve “deliberate’’ property damage, theft or force against another person or threats of force

      *I’ll need more clarification on what criminal trespass is but other than that I’m good with this.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Meh, bullshit. They intentionally undercharge out of policy and/or expediency to just get cuffs on the rioters and stop the nightly riots. Then the judges and now DA release them the next day to go right back again.

      • Gustave Lytton

        The numbers get arrested is a handful of the dozens actively committing crimes and the hundreds aiding and abetting the criminal acts.

      • The Hyperbole

        If they are cuffing people out of expediency and they don’t have any evidence against them, those people should walk. Unless your working theory is that better 10 innocent protesters go to jail rather than one rioter go free, or maybe that there are no innocent protesters. Which also throws the idea of innocent until proven guilty out the window, but who needs ideals anyway?

      • Gustave Lytton

        I’m fine with them going to court and letting the prosecution prove the cases. I’m not ok with wholesale dismissal of charges because crimes committed by antifa are NBD.

        And no, there are no legitimate protesters at those criminal riots. It’s criminal activity for the purpose of criminal activity. I’m not a court and I don’t have to give criminals the benefit of the doubt. I also hold no power to punish them under the law.

      • The Hyperbole

        Of course you don’t, but we were talking about what the courts should or shouldn’t do. Did they declare martial law or some other such thing where everyone is breaking the law simply by being there? (not that I think that’s necessarily kosher either but at least it would be a basis for violating peoples right to gambol) If not, simply being near other people breaking the law doesn’t give the state the right to detain and prosecute you.

      • The Hyperbole

        should be …other people who are breaking the law…

      • R C Dean

        Who charges them?

        The DA’s people, who takes orders from her.

        I am quite willing to believe they are deliberately undercharged to set this up.

        Thousands of felonies are committed every night, and she is releasing some of the perps. We know she favors their cause ,so this isn’t some strict sense of due process and fairness at work.

      • Viking1865

        One of the concerns I have is those big green lasers they’ve been slinging all over the place. I think those should be treated as felony assault. Blinding people is not disorderly conduct.

      • Gustave Lytton

        And pointing a laser point, regardless of intent to harm someone, is a specific crime under state law. Yet none of them are being charged.

        (Yes, agree that if the prosecutors can prove harm or intent to harm, then an assault charge would also be appropriate.)

      • Viking1865

        pointing a laser point, regardless of intent to harm someone, is a specific crime under state law. Yet none of them are being charged.

        Yeah, the fix is in.

    • DEG

      His prosecutors won’t pursue demonstrators accused of interfering with police, disorderly conduct, criminal trespass, escape or harassment if the allegations don’t involve “deliberate’’ property damage, theft or force against another person or threats of force, Schmidt said.

      “Deliberate”.

      Sounds like a hole you can drive a truck through.

    • KibbledKristen

      Spit take gif

    • UnCivilServant

      There’s only one problem – with a contextomy, there’s no way to figure out who is suppoed to have been photoshopped into robocop.

      • straffinrun

        Ask Willy Brown. He’ll recognize the mouth.

      • The Hyperbole

        Also you need to do something with the ROBO part not the COP part, “Robot Person of Color” is a bit of a stretch to get to the “she’s a cop” Joke. Unless your going for an ethnicity joke but that’s an even longer reach one I’m not even getting to be honest..

      • straffinrun

        You guys got it, so that’s what counts. Took me about 2 minutes to make. You want it to be “SLOJOCOP”?

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Everyone’s a critic…

    • CPRM

      Strange how putting her mouth on Robocop makes his tits look bigger. Either that or you stretched the horizontal.

  26. salted earth

    I would like to know more. Perhaps a Space Force cartoon with Space Hat as the lead.

    And another invite for PNW Glibs…meet-up scheduled for Saturday, August 15 at 2 pm at the Big Barn Brewing Company in Mead, WA.
    sodium at proton mail dot com

    • CPRM

      Meh, any Space Force Cartoon I’d make would be filtered through Exo-Squad’s take on Straship Troopers, so like 3 levels of derivative before I even get my comments in.

      • salted earth

        An artist must follow their passion.

  27. l0b0t

    Thanks Baked Penguin; now I have that movie and the episode where Bobby learns to stand up for himself (“That’s my purse! I don’t know you!“) stuck in my head all night.

    • BakedPenguin

      **** subconscious Mike Judging ****

  28. CPRM

    It took me several hours going back and forth between different eyes to design Space Hat. But I think the blank stare was the right call.

  29. mikey

    Glad to see that Joey is being responsible. Everybody his age needs a living will.

    • CPRM

      Imagine how it feels to make the betht cartoon on the internet, to only get 100 views when a cat with frowny face is a millionaire…

      • Count Potato

        That cat died if it makes you feel any better.

      • straffinrun

        Better to get 100 real laughs than a million fakes ones.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        ^this, and it was Funny!

    • straffinrun

      The monopoly board was my fav.

    • DEG

      I liked that movie.

      RIP.

  30. Count Potato

    SPACE HAT!!!

  31. Count Potato

    I needed that, the rest of my evening has been pretty bad.

    • Count Potato

      I don’t get it?

      • straffinrun

        C’mon, man.

      • Count Potato

        Look, fat, I don’t even know what’s the thing.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Are you asking….?

        Yes, I’m asking if you were asking.

      • The Hyperbole

        He wants to wash her hair.

    • Tres Cool

      “Will you do kindly for me the needful thing ?”

    • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

      I keep waiting to hear him say, “THE PICCOLO PLAYER’S A MOTHERFUCKER!”

  32. Q Continuum

    So.

    Current events have been driving up my blood pressure to such an extent that I’m going to do a detox. To that end, I may not be posting all that much for a little while.

    It has absolutely nothing to do with the folks here; sometimes you all are all that keeps me sane. However, the news is such an unending parade of negativity that it’s starting to have a detrimental effect on my life. I’m going to cleanse myself and come back better than ever, though even during that I’ll probably check in from time to time.

    I leave you with this for now until we meet again.

    http://archive.li/CfcFI/c3d29eb05b00f981df109798e99197f1d24f4f10.jpg

    NSFW.

    • Count Potato

      Sorry to see you go 🙁

      My blood pressure is great. I drink two fifths of bacardi a week. So maybe not my liver. But I’m totally eutensive.

    • BakedPenguin

      Leaving on a high note.

      I hope the expansion of the Q Continuum goes well.

    • The Hyperbole

      Godspeed Q, been there and done that,still doing it for the most part, no mainstream news or talk radio. It does a body good.

    • Brochettaward

      Fine. Run away. Like a bitch. We don’t your titty links, anyway. Go! Go home! *throws rock at Q* GO! YOU AREN’T WANTED HERE!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Dude, Time to STFU! really, give it a rest

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Yu–I saw your comment from earlier that Tox is busy.

        Should the Blade Runner discs thing come up, I am still interested, and should be here whenever she’s no longer busy.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I’m chatting now, I’ll let her know, she is interested BTW

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Outstanding! No rush on my side.

      • Mojeaux

        It’s just a schtick. B’s heartbroken. ?

      • straffinrun

        You finding his shtick adorable is probably the last thing he wants to hear.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Ixnay on the ategy-stray……

      • Mojeaux

        See, I can be sincerely complimentary and utterly obnoxious at the same time.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        That’s….what, the inverse of the topless dancer M.O.

        Not “Mo”–just….aww, hell; you know what I mean.

      • Mojeaux

        Sincerely obnoxious and utterly complementary?

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        ::thinks about it::

        Hmmm…..Yeah, that does sound familiar.

      • The Hyperbole

        I don’t get his humor either (well, I get it I just don’t find it humorous, so to speak) but as a purveyor of nonsense myself I’d never presume to tell someone else to STFU. Use the scroll wheel, that’s what it’s there for, that and the impostors posts.

      • straffinrun

        Sometimes he hits it. Other times it’s over reliance on formula. We need to push him to become the elite asshole that we now he can be.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        We don’t your titty links

        No, we don’t. We don’t AT. ALL.

    • straffinrun

      Imagine it’s happening in a world you’re just observing and not part of. It’s how I handled being high AF while riding in the backseat of a 5L Mustang going 80 down the allies of downtown Denver. “This coked up Russian gangster can drive like a MFer.”

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        backseat of a 5L Mustang

        Fuuuuuuuuck that noise! This big boi can’t even, right now.

      • straffinrun

        When did “boi” become a thing? Before or after “become a thing” became a thing?

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        1975?

        Maybe 1992, for more accuracy…

    • Hyperion

      Hey Q, I feel you pain man. I quit drinking a little over a week ago, and now all I want to do is eat and sleep. Especially… well both. But my BP is down a little now.

  33. Spudalicious

    Well done, CPRM! Content and video quality jut keep getting better.

    • Count Potato

      This. Also, SPACE HAT!!!

  34. Count Potato

    Shit, I think I just drank a half bottle of rum. Whatever, fuck it.

  35. J. Frank Parnell

    lol, I just checked Facebook and it looks like all the Berniebros are super pissed about Kamala.

    • Count Potato

      Same on twitter. “Kamala is a cop” basically.

  36. Count Potato

    Do you know more than half the people I followed on twitter have been banned? Sad really. I’ll spill out some if I were drinking a forty.

  37. Nikkodemus

    FINALLY back online. So my city got hit with hurricane like winds from a thunderstorm Monday afternoon. The kicker? I live in Iowa. Now, my county and the one next to it are 95% without power. I had to drive 50 miles north to stay with my mom so I can work. Estimates are 3-7 days before we get power back. The city is nothing but downed trees and powerlines. Every single house in our neighborhood lost at least one tree. Either they were uprooted, or snapped in half at the base. Never seen anything like it here.

    • Count Potato

      Yikes! Sorry 🙁

      • Nikkodemus

        Thanks.

      • Nikkodemus

        Mostly. Some roof damage, and a couple leaky windows, but nothing major. We got lucky, a couple houses in our neighborhood are a total loss. I can’t even imagine what that must be like.

    • Mojeaux

      Very strange. I was reading your post just as our weatherman was talking about it.

    • straffinrun

      Damn. That hurricane had some legs.

    • Nikkodemus

      House is fine, just some minor roof damage, thanks for asking. Never seen 100mph winds here before. I was at home with my 12 year old while it was happening, and it sounded like the whole house was going to lift off. A particularly unbelievable note: We own 3 vehicles (2 are mine, the other belongs to the missus), all were outside during the storm, no damage to any of them.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        It sounds like the storm knew who NOT to screw with.

  38. Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

    Best animation this month, man!

    • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

      Also, top notch Team America reference.

    • Brochettaward

      How does Kamala have a resume that suggests she’s ready to be president? She’s been a senator for, what one term and before that AG of California.

      • UnCivilServant

        Sounds like an Obama Resume.

      • straffinrun

        That’s the ridiculous point of the US presidency: Nobody is or possibly could be qualified to have that much power.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Bring back the Cursus Honorum.

  39. Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm
    • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

      That ought to put to rest the lefty, candy-ass bullshit of guns = penis!

    • straffinrun

      That video is too perfect. White, male cop manhandling tiny girl for not doing what the state says is healthy. This is what medical tyranny looks like.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Boy, that nation of convicts sure got their L&O on, didn’t they?

    • PieInTheSky

      If she obeyed this would not have happened

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Sheep still get slaughtered, though.

  40. straffinrun

    Pushing 100F with 60% humidity and I’m seeing old farts with walkers trudging along while wearing masks. Theater of the absurd.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      That would put me down, and I’m healthy, Damn!

      • straffinrun

        The only thing that kills people in 2020 are silence and Covid.

  41. Yusef drives a Kia

    Invoicing all night, Yuck, but billing equals money, I just want to do the work, I hate paperwork…………

    • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

      Well, hell yeah–if you liked paperwork, you’d have been an accountant, or…..paper mill operator(?)

      • straffinrun

        Fed Chairman?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Scrooge?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I have to Account, I know how, but, GHaa! I miss the Wife right about now, i could dictate to her, I need help, and certain Girls who want to come out are afraid,
        ah well…….

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        certain Girls who want to come out

        They’re over on the Discord…

        /Sorry! Sorry!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Someone more specific,

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Yeah…..I was just making a joke only I would get, at the expense of some of our cousins. I be like that, sometimes.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        You know,shhhhhhh,

  42. Mojeaux

    Straff, I get caught up watching vids with all these cool Japanese products and I have noticed an obsession with ways of hanging clothes inside to dry. Are dryers scarce there?

    • straffinrun

      Most people have a dryer, but like Epstein, they prefer to hang. Clothes last longer and it’s probably just a tradition.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Mo, check this, my Dryer broke 6 months ago, and I never changed the motor, I hang my clothes up inside to dry them, it works!

      • straffinrun

        Right? He’ll, in summer the laundry dries faster if I hang it.

      • Mojeaux

        I just noticed there are A LOT of creative products to hang dry clothes inside. It’s cute.

      • straffinrun

        Space is at a premium. We vacuum pack our out of season clothes, extra futons, blankets, pillows.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        I always air-dry my shirts, to prevent the dreaded shrinkage. But, they gotta air fluff-dry for a while afterwards.

        I’m not a barbarian, you know.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        OOOh, Fluffy!

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Dang skippy.

      • The Hyperbole

        Been about six years for me and I have noticed the longevity of clothes increased, I have five year old work shirts that still look like new ( they are stained and ripped but the collars and seam don’t seem to fray/break down as quickly)

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Shake em and hang them loose, Clean and dry, Cheap too!

  43. The Hyperbole

    Re: tough guys yelling at people in stores for wearing masks (and yes I am equally annoyed by the Karens yelling at people for not wearing masks, but that’s another story) They always seem to be in a convenience store or grocery, as if flaunting the mask orders in the face of some poor cashier or stock boy is the height of civil disobedience. First off, the person likely to suffer from these guys defiance are the store owners who face the fines and secondly the people most affected are the poor managers/clerks that has to deal with this shit. I’ll have respect for these yahoos when they walk into the local cop shop or city hall and refuse to put on a mask or leave, get arrested and fight the man from a jail cell. Calling people sheep and cowards, and pussies, who just want a sixer of Hoegaarden and a bag of Funyuns and don’t want any drama, doesn’t make you a civil rights icon, it makes you an asshole.

    • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

      And, I’m equally as tired of people conflating stores with public property, thinking they can do whatever they want, because “it’s not illegal/I have the RIGHT!!1ELEVENTY!”

      On my property, you have the privileges I extend to you. Just because this place is open to the “public” does not mean it’s public property. Follow my rules, regardless of where they originate, or, GTFO.

    • Mojeaux

      I decided the mask hill was not going to be the one I die on. I wear the mask because I don’t want drama.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Yup–I don’t need haranguing with my loaves and fishes.

      • The Hyperbole

        I agree but even if it was ‘the hill’, is the Circle K the best place to wage that war? That’s what annoys me, I get the anger and the desire to do something about it. But if that’s where your at then do something that actually fights the battle. don’t yell at people who don’t share your outrage, that’s a definite loser in the battle for hearts and minds. Make the powers that be arrest you in a public place where you aren’t just transferring the burden on to someone else. Calmly take the punishment but never accept it as just, state your case forcefully but not hysterically, that would do much more to sway people, at least in my opinion, than being an asshole in a Walmart.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        I am agreeing with you on almost every point, except the “sway more people” part. It’s unlikely that anybody who sees is going to have their mind changed towards liberty in this scenario. Of course, it is possible, but, I doubt it. And, really, I would think the point in this is to fight it with a good attorney and back the government off with a court precedent.

        It’s not like we’re going to see the current crop of voters rolling back governmental authority (whether or not said authority exists in this realm). There are waaay too many people who absolutely need the government to be doing something about their crisis du jour.

        That said, I don’t disagree with the “not being an asshole to the workers and customers”, or, fight it the proper way.

      • The Hyperbole

        You are probably right. I watched Cool Hand Luke too many times as an impressionable child, I still believe that a guy willing to take a beating for his principles is more likable than the guy who’s willing to give a beating for his.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Agreed! My faith in any random person being willing to re-evaluate their views on government and liberty (due to a rather random incident) is what is really low.

        But, the more like-minded people who are willing to share stories like this hypothetical arrest means others could learn and adapt.

      • Festus' Mustache

        I totally agree with you but I’ll bet the “Lucille” scene on that video was pretty sketchy by the time you were through with it 🙂

    • straffinrun

      Is the reverse Karen happening? Videos of that hasn’t penetrated my bubble.

      • The Hyperbole

        I’ve seen a few videos( here’s the one I saw today) not as many as the Karen ones but I’ve also read a more of the “You’re a coward if you wear a mask” post that “your killing People if you don’t” but that could just be selection bias based on my circle of friends and what they send.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        In AZ? Bitch is lucky he didn’t get shot.

      • straffinrun

        Going by twitter likes ratios, if you step in a proggie bubble you’ll see thousands of likes for pro mask stuff. Anti mask in my bubble get a lot less.

        I’m pro mask (they probably work somewhat), but I’m also against mob rule. The govt for the most part can’t enforce mask wearing and so they launch media blitzes which in turn filter down to their unpaid shock troops-the Karens of the world. Media and pols drive up the emotion and watch us tear each other apart. Media get clicks and pols get a loyal base. It’s an evil game.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        I’m pro mask (they probably work somewhat), but I’m also against mob rule.

        Oh, I hear ya*. Until our eyes, or portable instrumentation, allows us to see viral infections AND their transmission vectors, I don’t know how anyone can be convinced if a particular person did or didn’t infect someone.

        /I, myself, hate people, but love gatherings.

  44. Yusef drives a Kia

    They should have called it Trader Yusef’s

    • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

      Heh.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        there’s an entire background regarding my name, Joe is the Beginning,

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        It would be fun to see a store sign, in your honor. Alas, my Photoshop gung fu isn’t up to par.

    • hayeksplosives

      Same goes for some of our govt agencies!

      One Aussie military type was tAlking to a US CIA dude about the impressive feats the CIA were accused of by conspiracy theorists. The American CIA dude cynically answered “If only!”

  45. hayeksplosives

    Simply ahvelous,CPRM!

    • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

      Mmm-hmmm!

      /my apologies, M’Lady–couldn’t resist.

      • hayeksplosives

        I can use the spare mms. I appear to be freshly out.

        Speaking of out, back during Toilet Paper shortage of March, I ordered a pack from Costco, even though it was out of stock, and forgot about it.

        The multipack finally arrived this week: a dozen miniature toilet paper rolls! They have regular tube size, they’re in new packaging, but only about 1:4 normal number of sheets!

        A Facebook friend just posted a pic of the very same thing having arrived at her house.

        I don’t know what to do with it but TPing Pelosi’s house seems reasonable.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        How about Newsome–he could use plenty of absorbent paper products to mop up all his grease.

        /He truly looks slicker’n whale shit in an ice floe

      • KSuellington

        The man screams sleezeball politician, Hollywood central casting couldn’t pick better. And yet he has continued to rise. He made a deal with Kammy that he would get the governor and she would be the senator. Worked out for both of them. I don’t think she will get to play VP though.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Lord, I hope not.

      • KSuellington

        Me too. I know which website will be the most interesting on the first Tuesday in November.

  46. KSuellington

    I would like to know more. You keep improving these toons. It could easily get a million hits. You may need to cultivate some relationships with influencers C.

  47. hayeksplosives

    Is the GOP smart enough to dig up Kamala ‘s record for pushing for maximum prison time for nonviolent criminals? Who were overwhelmingly Minority drug offenders. Seems relevant in #BLM days.

    • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

      On top of that, are they smart enough to package that message effectively?

      • hayeksplosives

        No, they are the Stupid party.

        But hey, at least we will have more Maya Rudolph as Kamala to look forward to.

      • Frnxt Ghrt Digby Gurm

        Oh……joy.

    • straffinrun

      It really is something to watch as team blue sycophants try to spin her prosecutor record. Had a few interactions on Derpbook today. You can predict how it went.

      • Not an Economist

        She knows the system. How corrupt it is. So who better to reform it?

        /Team Blue

  48. Festus' Mustache

    Sorry to hear that Q might go on hiatus for awhile. Truth be known, I’m kinda leaning that way as well. Regular life is catching up fast and although my BP is probably fine I worry about the way that I’ve been reacting to small stuff lately. I don’t want to be the guy who puts his fist through the dry wall. Thirty years clear on that account. I’ve been catching myself swearing just like I did when I worked in the bush. Not Kosher.

    • Festus' Mustache

      Or maybe I have just had a few bad days and need to sack up. I dunno.

    • Gender Traitor

      Do what’s best for you, of course, but please know that you’d be missed if you absented yourself.

      • Festus' Mustache

        Thanks, GT. I have a history (long buried). I’ll work it out.

      • Festus' Mustache

        “The rusty wire that holds the cork that keeps the anger in…” Nobody needs that. I think it’s Waters’ best song.

  49. Sean

    https://www.wfmz.com/news/area/lehighvalley/american-academy-of-pediatrics-number-of-kids-testing-positive-for-covid-19-has-skyrocketed/article_3edfedac-dc1f-11ea-99f4-1bc586fea837.html

    This week, the American Academy of Pediatrics said the number of kids testing positive for COVID-19 nationwide has skyrocketed by 90% in a month.

    The AAP says in just the last two weeks, 97,000 pediatric cases were reported, bringing the national total of children who have tested positive to just over 380,000.

    That figure equates to roughly 9% of all known cases in the US.

    While severe cases of COVID-19 in kids are rare, doctors say they carry a higher concentration of the virus and many are asymptomatic. Doctors say that’s why it’s important that parents take precautions.

    FEAR. DOOM.

    Gropey Joe shall be our savior.

    Why are asymptomatic children being tested?

    • westernsloper

      How it is playing out here: Kid gets sniffles, gets tested. Positive test (not necessarily meaning kid has vid, lots of false positives) Whole class gets tested resulting in no doubt more false positives and a few real positives where the kids are fine. Panic ensues. Everybody sent home.

      • UnCivilServant

        sniffles are not a symptom. In fact, their absense is a key indicator.

      • Festus' Mustache

        Everybody sent home to be abused by their frazzled Parents that never learned how to raise kids in the first place because Government day-care has been doing their jobs for them for the last 75 years.

    • Gender Traitor

      Or maybe it’s all those Americans who swore they’d leave the country when Trump was elected.

      • Festus' Mustache

        That’s the ticket! No, people everywhere are tribal assholes and Canadian nice is even more passive-aggressive than Minnesota nice. We’re cuntes and cods, just like everywhere else.

    • Suthenboy

      “…according to the New York Times…”

      Sounds legit

    • Festus' Mustache

      The girls are always pretty and the music is always execrable. I’m torn as I should be by four wild horses.