Thursday Afternoon Bail GoFundMe Links

by | Aug 20, 2020 | Daily Links | 316 comments

Sorry these are late. However, Brett did use his one phone call to make sure you got a new post. And you thought he didn’t care!

 

Since I’ve been super busy today, and these are last minute, you get no fancy formatting or guarantee that these links are fresh!

Trump Silenced Fauci  h/t Mexican Sharpshooter

This should surprise exactly nobody

Impulse control of a 3 year old

And I’m out.

Have a great afternoon, kids!

About The Author

SP

SP

I've got an idea! How about we just stick to the Constitution as written and then the government can leave me the fuck alone.

316 Comments

  1. UnCivilServant

    The funniest thing about the DNC is that it has caused Trump to gain in the polls.*

    *polls are still worthless, but it’s funny anyway.

    • Donation Not Taxation

      UnCivilServant, citation?

    • mexican sharpshooter

      How do you view a post DNC poll if the DNC hasn’t ended? Can I borrow John Titor’s time machine when you’re done with it?

      • UnCivilServant

        It doesn’t have to be a post event poll. Mid convention he’s gone up.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Just make sure you don’t lock the keys in Titor’s time machine. Its a bitch picking the hatch open, and you might have to overnight parts from 2481 AD Japan.

      • Count Potato

        That guy hasn’t been here since the distant past.

      • UnCivilServant

        Well, he does have to take the long way back to this time zone.

        *twirls keys while whistling*

  2. Count Potato

    “And you thought he didn’t care!”

    I just thought he was passed out somewhere.

    • Chafed

      He isn’t?

      • Count Potato

        He is, but he cares that he his passed out. Baby steps.

  3. Swiss Servator


    “At least they aren’t linking about me!”

    • Ted S.

      .

      :

      [before Swissy edits his post to have a photo]

    • Bill Door

      Couldn’t have said it better myself.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Who let the hobo in here?

      • SP

        HOBO FREN OF STEVE SMITH

      • C. Anacreon

        We call him Hobo Ken.

        He grew up just across the Hudson.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      If you rub his belly I hear it’s good luck.

  4. Count Potato

    “He’s now home and resting,” an NIAID spokesperson tells NPR. “Expect him to be completely resting his voice at least through the weekend.”

    Let’s hope it lasts longer.

    • Drake

      He’ll be deep-throating big pharma again in no time.

  5. Count Potato

    “This should surprise exactly nobody”

    Stupid Apple News links.

  6. Idle Hands

    Fucking Hunter Biden is talking tonight at the DNC. Hilarious.

    • Sean

      Oh, that’s rich.

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        Yes he is.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        What Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto did was seen.

      • Rhywun

        People close to President Trump blah blah blah

        lol-snort

    • Chafed

      Even for the DNC that’s tone deaf.

      • juris imprudent

        They let Art Acevedo participate as part of police reform – tone deaf is what they do best.

      • A Leap at the Wheel

        The guy who is all for unquestioningly defending lethal no-knock raids on innocent people based on falsified paperwork?

        Way to surf the wave of the zeitgeist.

      • Chafed

        Now let’s see if the RNC has the balls or the smarts to go after that.

    • The Other Kevin

      If he’s not behind a big desk, smoking a big cigar, and with a hot woman on each arm, I’m going to be disappointed.

      • Bobarian LMD

        A smudged up mirror with razor blade and rolled up Benjamin on the corner of the desk and a glassy stare will finish it off nicely.

      • Count Potato

        Someone should take the audio from his speech and and dub Scarface.

  7. Bill Door

    Hiya Glibs. It’s been a bit since I’ve commented. Had a busy summer, new baby shitlord born, etc., etc. Been lurking a bit, but haven’t been as engaged in the comments.

    Started back up to work on campus and have to say, this whole movement to stop the spread makes me crazy. I wish people would think through this nonsense. Masks piss me the hell off.

    Hope you all are well. Thank goodness for the sanity presented in this haven. If not for you all (thanks for covering for Brett, SP), this last 6 months would have been even more rough.

    • Idle Hands

      the stop the spread nonsense is fucking insanity at the colleges.

      • Bill Door

        Definitely. I’ve got to be careful about running my mouth off about it to the wrong people. You’d think at a place that allegedly teaches thinking things through that thought would go into this, but not in the bizzarro world in which we live.

      • Translucent Chum

        Then you’ll love this story! https://www.detroitnews.com/story/news/local/michigan/2020/08/19/albion-college-track-students-forbid-travel-off-campus-covid-19/5611603002/

        That’s because for the entire fall semester — the next 14 weeks — students cannot leave the campus’s 4.5-mile perimeter, under penalty of suspension. Nor can they have outside visitors — including family — without prior approval, normally about five days notice, according to a recent email from school officials.

        “We also have to agree to sign up for a phone app which tracks our movements,” said Bakker.

      • Drake

        I think it’s great they came up with a way to break the kids’ phone addictions.

      • PBRstreetgang

        Hey kid, the app doesn’t track your movements, its tracks your PHONE’s movements. **hint hint**

      • Apples and Knives

        Kid: “I don’t get it. Isn’t that what I said?”

      • The Other Kevin

        * Starts printing fake maps of prohibition-era tunnels under campus *

      • Agent Cooper

        Why is your nickname “Two Phones” Jones?

      • EvilSheldon

        If you don’t have a Faraday bag for your phone, well, you just aren’t as cool as you should be.

      • invisible finger

        In case anyone remembers about the step kid’s overseas semester than turned into remote learning from her US home….

        Classes we’re supposed to start yesterday. Tuesday night the school overseas emailed her and said the thing was cancelled

        Fuck sticks. So Wednesday she calls her school and tries to scramble to sign up for classes. All her classes in her major were already filled – she would have had first crack at sign up but because she was enrolled overseas there was no need to. The dean said he would make sure she would retain her full time status and would see to it that she is allowed to take courses beyond the standard limit next semester (she won’t have a problem passing them). So she has three gen ed courses and that’s it. She can do those remote which is good since it is too late to get housing by school now and it’s not worth it anyway for three gen ed courses.

        But it kills the daytime job she was going to do near home.

        Fuck government and their academia sycophants.

      • Rhywun

        “I want a refund.”

      • Gadfly

        If she’s remote learning, why are there even caps on class sizes? I guess there’s a limit on how many assignment a teacher + TAs can grade, so it would make sense to have limits when there are essays and long-form answer tests, but lots of basic classes tend to be just lecture + multiple choice, so you’d think school capacity would increase with and increase in remote learning students.

      • invisible finger

        They are down one instructor in her major this semester (planned sabbatical) which is most of the reason she chose to do the semester overseas in the first place.

      • Gender Traitor

        But did insanity give consent?

      • Idle Hands

        It’s hard to tell with the masks, words are muffled and can’t tell a smile from a frown.

      • Rhywun

        The weather was glorious today so I took a nice walk to a nearby park – hardly a mask in sight here in lockdown NYC. Fathers and sons playing baseball and tennis. Moms and kids in the playground. People huffing and puffing up and down the hills. I really needed the diversion.

        And some colleges want to impose mask-wear on campus grounds. It is laughable.

      • Bill Door

        That’s the “recommendation” here. I’m in a very conservative part of Utah (in fact, our county passed a resolution that would allow the county fair to still happen and blocking the governor-R from cancelling it), and yet the University tries pushing a lot of this. I’m intrigued to see what happens when students are back on campus next week.

    • Sean

      new baby shitlord born

      Congrats.

      • Bill Door

        Ta.

      • Bill Door

        DNT, I had seen something about that, as well as WHO (I think, I can’t be bothered to look because it is nonsense) recommending wearing masks in the home. R C Dean’s sum-up on the subject the other day was great. These people are insane, and yet, they’ve taken over the asylum.

      • Bobarian LMD

        It’s fucking puppet theater.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Not first! With story to Bill Door…

    • Chafed

      Congrats on your baby.

      • Bill Door

        Thank you.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        #metoo Bill Door, congrats on your baby.

      • Bill Door

        Thank you!

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Bill Door, you are welcome.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Congratulations on your new shitlord.

      • Bill Door

        Thanks!

    • DEG

      Congratulations on the new shitlord!

      • Bill Door

        Cheers!

    • Count Potato

      Congrats!

      • Bill Door

        Thanks Count!

    • SP

      Awww. Congratulations! I hope you bestowed an appropriate glib name on the little one.

      • Bill Door

        Named the tyke Cache (like Cash or Ca$). That way I can call him “Cache Money” like the capitalist pig I am. His middle name was going to be “Golden” (which is a family surname), but my wife nixed it for a different family name, much to my chagrin.

      • SP

        I suppose changing a messy diaper is referred to as “clearing the Cache.”

      • Rhywun

        “Wipe it, like with a cloth?”

      • Bill Door

        Ha ha. That’s right. ? I’ve gotta figure out how to implement Rhywun’s comment into conversation with my wife. She’ll get a kick out of that.

  8. Sensei

    McCray’s office provided The CIty with names of eight full-time employees whose salaries added up to about $1.1 million. However, according to current and former employees in the Mayor’s office — and public records — McCray’s staff makes closer to $2 million.

    You’d naturally need a good sized staff to spend the close to $1bn she has been alleged to have spent while be unable to account for any of it.

    Love this quote:

    “That article [referring to The City story] didn’t take into account the work that’s being done,” de Blasio said. “This work is about the needs of the people of this city.”

    • Chafed

      Needs of the city = McCray’s ego

      • Donation Not Taxation

        In The Wrath of Khan, Spock says, ‘Logic clearly dictates that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.’ Right before committing suicide to save ship and crew. McCray’s sacrifice?

    • Fourscore

      We had to take the money to prevent the people from wasting it.

    • Rhywun

      The corruption of this administration is breathtaking.

      In this case, her husband threw that billion dollars at her to “fix mental health”. What little is known is that she spent some money on trendy, feel-good shit like seminars and “help lines”. Not one dime is known to have gone towards, for example, alleviating the plague of mentally-ill homeless people shuffling around the streets in certain neighborhoods.

  9. Spartacus

    You can’t fool me. He’s just going to use the GoFundMe money for meth.

    I gave $20.

  10. Count Potato

    “He added, “The mental health crisis is much deeper because of the coronavirus, across the whole city, that’s one of the things she’s been working on intensely, but also as the co-chair of the internal task force this extraordinary task force on racial inclusion that has been moving big policy changes.”

    This news comes as the mayor is considering laying off up to 22,000 municipal workers in the fall due to budget constraints related to COVID-19.”

    CWAA

    The mental health crisis is due to your stupid lockdowns. Then you spend money on a racial inclusion task force, while firing a bunch of blacks and hispanics.

    • Rhywun

      This scam started several years ago – long before the ‘vid provided a handy excuse for him to claim the crisis is “much deeper”.

      As for the 22,000 workers… LO-fucking-L. He’s added way more than that during his reign. He threatens to take us back to… OMG, 2014! When it’s really more like a couple hundred thousand that are gonna have to go to have any hope of balancing the budget.

  11. DEG

    McCray’s office provided The CIty with names of eight full-time employees whose salaries added up to about $1.1 million.

    Only $1.1 million? Why isn’t she paying them a livable wage?

  12. Donation Not Taxation

    Birthdays:

    Anthony Ainley Born:August 20, 1932, Stanmore, Middlesex, England Died: May 3, 2004, Harrow, London, England

    Sylvester McCoy August 20, 1943, Dunoon, Argyll and Bute, Scotland

    Sophie Aldred August 20, 1962, Greenwich, London, England, UK

    James Wesley Marsters, August 20, 1962, Greenville, California, U.S.

  13. DEG

    Gauleiterin Whitmer is displeased her subjects want to repeal her emergency powers – part one

    People collecting signatures to repeal the emergency law Gov. Gretchen Whitmer is using to address the coronavirus pandemic are using “unscrupulous measures,” including lying about what the petition drive would do, Whitmer alleged Wednesday.

    “This effort to repeal the 1945 (Emergency Powers of Governor) Act is very dangerous, and they’re using unscrupulous measures to try to collect signatures,” Whitmer said at a news conference in Lansing.

    Part two

    Governor Gretchen Whitmer has been leading the state’s coronavirus response efforts for five months. At a press conference Wednesday, she asked residents not to sign a petition that would strip the Office of the Governor of its emergency powers.

    The group called Unlock Michigan is trying to repeal a 1945 law that gives the governor of Michigan emergency powers to take executive action including declaring a state of emergency.

    The petition was started by people unhappy with Governor Whitmer’s response to the coronavirus pandemic in Michigan. Wednesday, she called the groups’ methods “unscrupulous.”

    “So, I ask people to decline to sign if you see that out there because we know these actions have saved us. The vast majority of people in this state get it and support this.”

    • Chafed

      What are the odds it passes?

      • DEG

        The Free Press article says they are 2/5ths of the way to getting the required number of signatures. I don’t know if there is a deadline to get the required signatures. I think it was about a month or so ago that petitioning started.

        There will certainly be challenges to the signatures, so they’ll need way more than the required number. If I remember correctly, here in NH when the LPNH gathers ballot access petition signatures, they expect about 25% of submitted signatures will be successfully challenged.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      unscrupulous measures to try to collect signatures,

      Those sons of bitches are asking people to sign…voluntarily!

    • Fourscore

      ‘we know these actions have saved us”

      We know that because you are still here.

      ‘.

    • Surly Knott

      Thank you for sharing this!
      I’m still chuckling over Count Potato’s remark “Gretchen Whitmer became Govenor of Michigan after a house fell on her sister.” I’d be pleased we’re a house to drop on her as well.

      • Count Potato

        In the interest of science, I fully approve of throwing her into Lake Michigan to see if she floats.

      • Bill Door
      • Surly Knott

        Well, just to improve the accuracy of the test, I’d go for ‘off the highest point of the Mackinac Bridge’.

  14. Count Potato

    “his most unusual DNC wraps up tonight with a huge roll of the dice. They’re risking letting Biden off-leash for an acceptance speech. Who knows, maybe they’ve been drilling him for months on this and he will actually pull it off. Or he’ll drop trou halfway through and yell, “I HAVE A PONY NAMED JEFF!””

    Afaik, all the speeches were pre-recoded. Joe is going to go live?

    • SDF-7

      “I’m Joe Biden, and I third the nomination of Bernard Sanders from Vermont!”

    • The Other Kevin

      They’ll tell you it’s live, but no way it’s live.

    • Sean

      They’re letting him go live?

      *faints*

      Tomorrow morning is gonna be fun.

    • Fatty Bolger

      They’re going to pump him full of amphetamines and lord knows what else beforehand. Gonna be a tough week for Joe, coming down.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Please please please let him start talking about how the kids like his hairy legs again.
      *fingers crossed*

      • C. Anacreon

        I’m hoping in the middle of his speech he suddenly starts singing the Big Bopper’s “Chantilly Lace” and jukes around.

        Thinking there’s a decent chance it happens, just remember you heard it hear first.

    • SP

      Nothing?

      Just because you’re cynical, it doesn’t mean you’re wrong. (TM)

    • Bobarian LMD

      Imma guess that might not be the real reason they’re postponing the election?

      • Ted S.

        I believe all the polls had St. Jacinda up big.

    • Donation Not Taxation

      CNN: NZ postponing elections because virus. Yea! Trump opposed. Bad Trump! Bad Trump!

      CNN: Trump proposes postponing elections because virus. No election should ever be postponed. Democracy! Bad Trump! Bad Trump!

      • Bill Door

        If CNN didn’t have double-standards, they’d have no standards at all.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        CNN has standard. Motto (not an exact quotation): ‘Facts first. CNN second.’

    • Rhywun

      New Zealand does not have a “big surge” or a “big outbreak.” While the country is experiencing an uptick in cases, it is a tiny uptick from almost no cases at all.

      Facts which CNN readers would never have heard had Donald not opened his big mouth.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Funny, that.

      • Count Potato

        TMITE

      • Donation Not Taxation

        ‘Facts which CNN readers would never have heard had Donald not opened his big mouth.’

        Facts first. CNN second.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      Excuse me while I go barf.

    • Chafed

      She’s so clever. She really has a plan for everything! Squeeeeeeee!

      /sarc off

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Democrats: “WE GOT TRACTION WITH BLM! IT HAPPENED! BEAT THEM TO DEATH WITH IT!”

      • one true athena

        And they keep opening the chat rooms for each new caucus and they keep getting crashed.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        one true Athena, good to know

      • Gadfly

        How they thought having open chat rooms was a good idea is beyond me. Has no one in charge there ever been on the internet? This is an entirely foreseeable and even expected outcome.

      • Hyperion

        They found out about this new chatroom thingy that just got invented and they wanted to impress everyone with how youthful and tech savvy Joe is.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        No comment about Elizabeth Warren redoing self-identifying Native American?

      • Count Potato

        I guess no one is surprised.

  15. Sensei

    One thing you have to enjoy about Elon Musk is how he feels about regulators. EVs since 2020 have been required to play sounds at low speeds for “pedestrian safety”. Now Porsche, being Porsche, charges you $500 for EACH spiffy sound the Taycan makes in addition to default sound it comes with.

    OTH in addition to the stock Jetsons sound Tesla plans to offer:

    https://twitter.com/elonmusk/status/1296360799498391552

    https://www.reddit.com/r/teslamotors/comments/idewx2/tesssla_released_a_teaser_of_the_new_snake_jazz/

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I have a hard time not liking Elon.

      • Sensei

        Me too.

        Because if I got the kind of pay day he did after Ebay I would have done a Mcafee and purchased my own island somewhere. You think I’m going to do both an auto and an aerospace startup? (Pay no attention to Solar City… I repeat…)

      • Rhywun

        But, Buffalo Billion! Another win for Cuomo!

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Scruffy Nerfherder: ‘I have a hard time not liking Elon.’

        Even if business models rely on soaking taxpayers?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Cheaper than ULA, by a factor, Piss off DNT

      • Donation Not Taxation

        And Bundy killed less people than Mao. Musk > United Launch Alliance not Elon = hero. Donation not taxation.

      • Fatty Bolger

        True, everything he does seems to rely on public funding.

        But on the other hand, he actually produces, and is focused on real progress rather than milking the system forever.

      • Hyperion

        ^this^

        If they have to give our stolen tax money to someone, him or NASA, I know which I favor, the guy who gets real sciencey stuff done, instead of creating a bigger bloated agency that can’t get any sciency stuff done.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        If you like your SpaceX, you can keep your SpaceX as long as the money is voluntary. Donation not taxation.

      • Agent Cooper

        “Even if business models rely on soaking taxpayers?”

        Compare his input vs. output to NASA over the last decade?

      • Donation Not Taxation

        And Bundy killed less people than Mao. Musk > NASA not Elon = hero. Donation not taxation.

      • Hyperion

        As far as real progress in science goes, for anyone who cares about human space flight, he is a hero.

      • Hyperion

        Elon is the only guy around landing rockets on landing pads after they flew into space. How can you not like that?

      • UnCivilServant

        Elon is the only guy around guy who funded the guys landing rockets on landing pads after they flew into space

        He is not a technical person.

      • UnCivilServant

        *aside from all of us in the form of taxpayer subsidies.

      • Hyperion

        Doesn’t matter. Elon gets technical guys and produces real results. NASA gets technical guys and apparently sends them off to research Muslim outreach and not get jackshit done.

    • Gustave Lytton

      EVs since 2020 have been required to play sounds

      Foreseeable consequences are not unintended.

      And I don’t mean Tesla’s sounds.

    • Mojeaux

      stock Jetsons sound

      That’s awesome.

      Where’s ‘splosives? I want her take on this.

    • Bobarian LMD

      Hourglass? That is more like my bottle of Willett’s

      • Bobarian LMD

        Also, there is nothing ‘inner’ about her geisha.

    • Roland of Gilead

      Nope. Voluptuous.

    • robc

      Age distribution is much much worse for car accidents too.

    • The Last American Hero

      In a year when driving is way way down as well.

  16. Drake

    Drove through WV this morning on the Robert Byrd Appalachian Highway project. We really did build some nice roads there.

    • EvilSheldon

      I’m not normally one for riding motorcycles on the highway, but I’ll make an exception for that one. It’s a nice piece of road.

      • Mojeaux

        I hear you. Semis make me nervous.

    • Agent Cooper

      “Robert Byrd Appalachian Highway project.”

      BLM protesters all over the place, correct?

      • UnCivilServant

        Naw, BLM cleared out BLM because of the threat to the migratory house mouse.

    • PBRstreetgang

      I, you and everyone we knew, were certain this would be in the story: “their life on the Florida panhandle “

    • Agent Cooper

      So how much are 3 limbs worth?

    • Hyperion

      Jeebus, Bannon looks like a meth addict.

  17. Count Potato

    “Girl, 16, is ‘gang-raped by 30 men’ in an Israel hotel as Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu calls the attack a ‘crime against humanity’

    The first suspect was reportedly arrested after messages emerged showing that there was video footage of the alleged rape.

    Police say the girl was not a guest at the hotel, but had gone to the bathroom after drinking there with some of her friends.

    She was then allegedly taken to one of the hotel rooms and raped by the group of men, who did not all know each other.

    One suspect claims that the men ‘lined up’ outside the girl’s room before going inside to assault her.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8647715/Girl-16-gang-raped-30-men-Israel-hotel.html

    None of the suspects have names?

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      In some countries they don’t release the names until the trial or maybe after. Sometimes you will see the first name and initial, like Adolf H.

      • Raven Nation

        Yeah, New Zealand has pretty much automatic name suppression for the accused and the prosecutor and/or press have to get a judge to order it lifted.

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        From a civil liberties perspective it makes sense. Innocent until proven guilty and all that.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        The perp walk is barbaric.

  18. Sean

    https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B07JZL4592/

    Huh. I didn’t know that existed.

    This problem is solved with our DryFireMag. Now, with the DryFireMag, when you activate your trigger, you get the feel and sound of the firing pin release. With both hands still in the firing position and staying on target, you simply let the DryFireMag reset the trigger with a snap, and you are ready for your next “shot”. Now, that’s the kind of action you need to build the correct muscle memory! It has to be second nature when a real-life situation presents itself.

    • The Hyperbole

      If you are not shooting anything what exactly are you practicing?

      • EvilSheldon

        Trigger press. Mechanics of the presentation. Grip. Vision. Dry practice is an important part of building shooting skill.

        That said, the DryFireMag is kind of twappy.

      • The Hyperbole

        Isn’t improving accuracy the point, without firing anything how do you know if all this practice is actually improving that. What is the feedback that tells you you aren’t training bad habits instead of good ones? I’d think it would be like spending hours swinging a one wood with out hitting any golf balls, you may get that swing dialed in but then find out you just perfected a duck hook shot.

      • EvilSheldon

        Sometimes improving speed is the point, but we’ll leave that aside for now.

        The feedback comes from watching your sights. You can tell where the shot is going to go, by watching the sights when you press the trigger.

        You do need to be able to press the trigger without disturbing your sight picture, and learning to do that will require live practice. Dry fire isn’t a replacement for live practice, it’s a supplement.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Equivalent to the ‘dime-washer drill’?

        Place dime balanced on the barrel of the weapon and practice squeezing the trigger while staying on target without dropping the dime.

        Will help cure jerking the trigger.

      • EvilSheldon

        Man, that’s a pistol drill that I wish had never been invented.

        Something that I tell my students – we don’t want to learn to not jerk the trigger. We want to learn to jerk the trigger as fast as possible, without disturbing the sight picture on the target.

    • Sensei

      Not cheap…

  19. Raven Nation

    Apologies if already referenced today, but Australia continues to lose its mind.

    “The WA Government is set to force people considered a flight risk from COVID-19 hotel quarantine to wear electronic monitoring bracelets in an effort to stop them from moving around and spreading the virus…Premier Mark McGowan said those wearing the bracelets would potentially have to stay in a separate hotel with higher security.”

    • SP

      WTF Australia.

      Well, I guess they are just honoring their proud penal colony heritage.

    • Rhywun

      And I thought the insanity was confined to Victoria.

      /non-cynical sad shake of the head

    • Gadfly

      Premier Mark McGowan said those wearing the bracelets would potentially have to stay in a separate hotel with higher security

      At what point does a facility transform from being a “higher security” “hotel” and become a minimum security prison?

      • EvilSheldon

        You’re past that point when they don’t let you leave.

      • Mad Scientist

        But you can check out any time you like.

      • Gadfly

        Hotel Australia

  20. SP

    In other STEVE SMITH news, Webdom met a man named Steve Smith the other day and burst into uncontrollable giggles.

    She did not explain.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      She met the guy on ESPN and didn’t punch him?

  21. Certified Public Asshat

    America just spent the summer sheltering in place at home but the real heroes are the teachers who do it every year.— Adam Carolla (@adamcarolla) August 20, 2020

    • Count Potato

      LOLOL

    • Rhywun

      lol

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Carolla’s a good guy, way better than Jimmy Kimmel.

  22. Mojeaux

    It does not matter how many times I see BLM Black Lives Matter, I will NEVER not see Bureau of Land Management.

    @Bill Door, CONGRATS! on the wee shitlord. Cache. That’s awesome.

    • Donation Not Taxation

      Demonstrations, hashtags, murals, … ‘Black Lives Matter’, not Bureau of Land Management?

      *makes note*

    • Bill Door

      Thanks Mojeaux!

      Growing up I had an uncle who worked for the BLM (the latter, not the former). When he made us mad, we called the BLM the “Butt Lovin’ Momma’s”. Yeah, we were real mature… And creative…

      • Mojeaux

        LOL I had a good friend who was a firefighter for the BLM and he would often say it was the best welfare program in the country. He bred Jack Russell terriers and sailed on his sailboat in his off hours.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Gah. Stuck behind a Forest Service fire truck yesterday. Probably a seasonal hire. Girl could not drive it. Pulls out in front of me and the rest of the highway traffic and procedes to drive under the speed limit while riding the brakes downhill. I wonder if there was any lining left when she was done.

      • Bill Door

        Oh, they definitely take care of theirs. In youth, I underestimated this uncle. He was a good guy. Passed away a few months ago at 53-y.o., but left his wife, my dad’s sister, with a lot of money from a pension.

  23. Certified Public Asshat

    Pay transparency is important, so let’s start here. Today is my last day after more than three years at The Ringer. I was an intern at $11.50/hr, then $12.50/hr. Then a full-time employee at $39,000, then $41,000, and then finally, at $46,700. We need a higher minimum salary. https://t.co/TImx2j6PnS— Shaker Samman (@ShakerSamman) August 20, 2020

    Bio seems to indicate he graduated in 2017.

    • Mojeaux

      Huh. My 17yo XX makes $11.00 at Walmart, starting out. She’s got her sights on management now more than ever. She found out she was a leader-type. *wipes away motherly tear of pride*

    • UnCivilServant

      How easily can you be replaced? If there is a sea of people willing and able to do the same work readily available, you’re not worth as much as if you’re irreplacable.

      • The Hyperbole

        No one is irreplacable.

      • Raven Nation

        Who would replace The Hyperbole if he quit Glibs?

      • invisible finger

        Another Tulpa

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        There’s plenty of curmudgeons in the nursing homes.

      • UnCivilServant

        Not anymore. Andy and Gretchen got to them.

      • Mad Scientist

        For certain, we couldn’t get that kind of input for free any longer.

      • Gadfly

        No one is irreplacable.

        Technically this is correct, but as a practical matter it is wrong. There are many people who have the right combination of qualities that are desired for a position but said combination is rare enough that if they leave they cannot actually be replaced, at least not in such a way as to fulfill the same role exactly.

      • Don did not Escape Bama

        I’ve been that guy

        and I’ve even been fired while I was that guy

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I know a guy that was uniquely qualified to save Chesapeake Energy a few years back.

        He was fired.

      • The Hyperbole

        I would imagine that “the ability to not get fired” would be one of the criteria for being considered uniquely qualified to do a job.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Unless a senior VP wants you gone because it interferes with his plan for a golden parachute.

      • Gadfly

        and I’ve even been fired while I was that guy

        Sometimes the most replaceable people are at the top.

      • The Hyperbole

        The best kind of correct.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      39K as starting salary for writing about sports isn’t that bad. You shouldn’t get paid too good until you show you can cut the mustard.

      • UnCivilServant

        Meritocracy? You monster!

        Next you’ll want them to be able to get views on the ads.

    • Hyperion

      “Pay transparency is important”

      What the fuck does that mean? Even telling anyone else your salary at my client’s organization is strictly forbidden, and I get it. What are we supposed to do, just post everyone in the country’s wages online?

      Let’s just settle it, just pay everyone in the country $15 an hour. Everyone. That will have zero unintended consequences and will bring harmony to the planet.

      These people are fucking insane. Every idea they come up with is crackpot batshit insane bullshit.

      • Rhywun

        Envy is an ugly emotion.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Ugly, and dangerous.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Yes

        I consider it a fireable offense as it is guaranteed to start major headaches for everyone.

      • UnCivilServant

        My pay is a matter of public record, and can be looked up online. I’ve never seen the point in hiding that information even when I was in the private sector.

      • Surly Knott

        I agree. I’ve worked at companies where the secrecy over wages was toxic. Or at least exacerbated the toxicity already in place.

      • Unreconstructed

        I used to work at a consulting company where everyone knew what everyone in the company made, within a reasonable margin of error. I’ve also worked places where compensation was strictly private. I’m not sure there’s a right answer, since not every company is the same – at the consulting outfit, you had a set of expectations that were based on your job title/level, and so those same expectations were on everyone at that level – and you also knew what was expected of the higher and lower levels too. Most companies (especially smaller ones) are not like that, and people theoretically at the same level may be doing wildly different work. So I suppose it’s really “whatever works best for your company”. I have seen companies with strict privacy expectations around pay and (inevitably) some info got out, and talk about increasing the toxicity…

    • Agent Cooper

      So he managed to more than double his salary in 3 years ($21k as an intern) and is bitchy about it?

      The increase from $39k to $46k is 15%. That’s 5% per year. My annual raises are in the 2% range.

  24. Count Potato

    “WOMEN
    WHO
    ENCOUNTER
    JOE BIDEN”

    https://womenforbiden.com/

    Today, this wins the internet.

    • Fatty Bolger

      While Trump just talks about grabbing them by the pussy, Joe Biden actually does it. Who do you want as President, the man who’s all talk, or the man of action? Vote Biden!

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        You should send an oped to the NYT.

    • Agent Cooper

      Where’s the biker chick he made sit on his lap. That’s one of my favorite Joe photos.

  25. Shpip

    Pardon if drugs emerge from this story’s backside, but a trio of Florida Men are once again demonstrating the species’ penchant for impulse control and thinking things through.

    • Agent Cooper

      There’s stupid and then there’s stupid.

      • Rhywun

        Two of them have stupid written all over their face.

    • Fatty Bolger

      “Get the money out of politics!”

      (Outspends her opponent 2:1)

  26. Hyperion

    “Bill de Blasio attempts to defend his wife’s $1.1M salary for staff”

    ‘This work is about the needs of the people of this city’

    WUT?

    These people don’t even try to pretend anymore.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Let them eat bagels.

      • Rhywun

        LOL, look at this guy over here!

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      She and her staff are in the city, and arguably they are people.

    • Hyperion

      Well, you know, that’s because Trump supporters want people to die!

    • UnCivilServant

      They don’t need to win, they just need to muddy the waters sufficiently to launch another coup.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        you mean Civil War, followed by mass Left wing death?

  27. KibbledKristen

    At a friend’s house having beer & pizza. It’s almost like normal life.

    • KibbledKristen

      P.S. said friend may join us for Zoomies. Y’all be nice to her and try not to be RAYCISS!

    • Hyperion

      Kristen wants people to die.

  28. UnCivilServant

    In my mental storyboard for the remainder of “Prince of the North Tower”, there is a fight scene against generic enemies that I could replace with a named character. The only problem is, there is nothing that particular character would contribute to a fight scene that is different from earlier fights in the book. I prefer to not have repeditive action scenes, so I’m trying to brainstorm ideas. Note – this is not supposed to be a long fight.

    • The Hyperbole

      Have it turn out that he was dead all along.

      • UnCivilServant

        Won’t work, this character doesn’t deal with the undead.

      • The Hyperbole

        Have it turn out that the enemy and the hero are the same person.

    • straffinrun

      Instead of describing the fight scene as it goes, how about describing the aftermath only?

      • UnCivilServant

        Because that would break the flow of the longer sequence.

      • straffinrun

        Not necessarily. Instead of the fight scene, you put in the descriptions of dead bodies/blood splatter etc in that place.

      • UnCivilServant

        I came up with a better idea.

        The named character who would be in the way was never foreshadowed as anything but a snooty jerk, and not any sort of combatant. Rather than try to hold the line, he turns tail and runs, allowing the scene to continue on to the more impressive setpiece that is supposed to be next.

      • straffinrun

        I’m glad I was here for you to come up with a better idea yourself.

      • UnCivilServant

        A lot of times, all I really need to do is to try to explain the issue and it will get the gears turning.

        But the scene I’m plotting out is intended to be one long, continuous sequence from the break of dawn until the end of the fighting. Skipping ahead to an aftermath doesn’t fit in the middle of that.

      • straffinrun

        If I didn’t want my ideas dismissed out of hand, I wouldn’t have gotten married. Your dilemma being solved is my satisfaction.

      • straffinrun

        And just in case… 😉

    • Sean

      My shocked face, let me show it to you.

      ?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      They’ll say someone went rogue or that they misinterpreted company guidance. Now buy our tires you racist.

      • Sensei

        I see you and I have the same thoughts.

    • invisible finger

      Goodyear = bad faith

    • Sensei

      It doesn’t help them, but I think they can still claim some third party went “off script”.

      I think the damn well knew, but they still have plausible deniability.

      However, if the guy speaking was a Goodyear employee, that’s going to make it a bit tougher.

    • straffinrun

      If you really want to hurt Goodyear, attack them for not being woke enough. Push them to go even further and then watch them descend into madness. 20th Century Motor Company wasn’t salvageable once it started on it’s insane path and attempts to stop it early would’ve been futile.

    • commodious spittoon

      What stupid.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Nope, they were disingenuous as has been pointed out with their careful phrasing. Hearing the audio, that was from a factory manager. I think they were absolutely correct in the statement, technically. It wasn’t a diversity class nor was it training. It was a dress code and conduct policy coverage or something similar. The guy on the audio sounds exactly like my boss when he has to shovel a shit sandwich down to our team.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Have been very happy with my silent armors ever since it first came out. Too bad. Guess its off to find a new brand.

    • Drake

      I drove from Elkins, WV to northwest NJ today without going through Philly – so that’s mostly red country. Saw countless Trump signs and flags, a single Jorgensen sign, and zero Biden signs or stickers. (Did see one BLM sign in a college town)

      Sure seems like a big gap.

      • Hyperion

        I haven’t seen any Biden stickers. When Obama was running for both terms, they were everywhere around here. I think I saw 1 or 2 Hillary stickers in 2016.

        Seems the democrats are losing enthusiasm and Slo Jo and Camela are not up to bringing it back.

  29. Drake

    Lori Lightfoot defends the protest ban in her neighborhood.

    “. I have an obligation to keep my home, my wife, my 12-year-old and my neighbors safe. … I think that residents of this city, understanding the nature of the threats we are receiving on a daily basis, on a daily basis, understand I have a right to make sure my home is secure. We have a right to our home to live in peace.”

      • Sean

        The balls on these people.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Security for me but not for thee. It’s hypocrisy at its worst but will her constituents do a damn thing about it? I doubt it.

      • Hyperion

        Nope, they will just keep voting her back in. And she knows it, that’s the problem.

    • straffinrun

      I was right. This was covered already two minutes in the future.

      • Sean

        ?

      • Drake

        Yep.

      • straffinrun

        You gave the excerpt, so I can’t complain.

    • Rhywun

      Same chick who got her hair done while the plebes were forbidden.

      • Sean

        “Chick”. Someone’s feeling generous today.

      • Hyperion

        That’s a chick?

      • Hyperion

        And I mean did she actually pay to look like an ugly version of Alfalfa?

    • mikey

      Oh. And don’t you dare try to defend yourself and your family. We can’t have any of that.

    • Hyperion

      Sure, you have that right. And no one else in the city does. Sounds legit. Who is the bigger hypocrite worthless piece of dung, her or de Assholio?

  30. Count Potato

    “NEW VIDEO: Exposing The Faces of the MAP Community

    Pedophiles are now so comfortable that they’re ditching anonymity and posting their faces with “PEDO PRIDE”

    Is this evidence that the normalization they want is slowly, but surely happening?

    LET’S TALK.”

    https://twitter.com/MsBlaireWhite/status/1296492194979819521

    • straffinrun

      Why does this anti Pedo sentiment come in waves? Better than it just being ignored, but I don’t understand why it restarted recently. Was it the Netflix thing?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Yes, the Netflix thing. There’s a lot of chatter going on about that (which is, admittedly, fairly egregious).

      • Hyperion

        Everything is all fucked up anymore. First, you have a documentary about Epstein, where 22 year old women sit around crying for what seems like fucking forever, about how Epstein stole their innocence when they were barely 18 … I really wanted there to be a story about that one, there isn’t, it’s nothing but a 3 hour long victim marathon. And then you have real fucking pedo child abusers and people are cool with that?

        Fuck this spinning rock we’re on, I want the fuck off.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        We were talking about it so I get it. I’m not sure I would otherwise to be honest.

    • Hyperion

      The BIPOCS and Binary Rainbow Furries, and others, are not going to be happy when the PEDOs take their spot on the diversity totem pole.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Obviously, after getting OBL, killing grandma is the next step.

    • Hyperion

      Wait, I thought that Obama killed Bin Laden?

    • straffinrun

      Blowback is real.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      The doctor who failed to effectively treat the kidney failure that killed him was a Seal? Well I’ll be…
      *adjusts tin foil hat*

    • The Hyperbole

      Meh, looks like the ban was for not wearing a mask and being a douche bag about it. I’m okay with that.

      • Fourscore

        That’s why no one will take me anywhere

    • Gustave Lytton

      Yet so fitting for Jo’s campaign.