Sunday Morning Links of Gleeful Yom Kippur

by | Sep 27, 2020 | Daily Links | 237 comments

Yom Kippur starts tonight, and I have much to repent for. And if it’s a sin to laugh at the misfortunes of others or to mock stupidity, I am the world’s worst sinner. And I’d like to present some proof of this.

But first, birthdays, as is my tradition, which include a Founding Father who makes shitty beer; an artist whose craft has been degraded beyond measure; a smarmy solon who at least rid us of the second-worst president ever but was a hilariously inapt Left cult figure;  one of my favorite magicians; another solon who had something in common with Art Garfunkel; a guy who navigated the fine line between genius and insanity– not always very well; a guy who loved cake and was SugarFree’s spiritual father; an unjustly overlooked songwriter and fine guitarist; and the patron saint of Crazy Eyes.

Now the mockery.

 

Starting with… The Beef Rebellion.

 

Cause of death: corona. I think it was overflow from Honey Harvest.

 

Gettin’ the popcorn and mixed drinks ready.

 

Can’t see what could possibly go wrong.

 

“I don’t have to outrun the bear, I only have to outrun YOU.”

 

“He died doing what he loved.”

 

And finally, some real science stuff for ya.

 

And last, the Old Guy Music, featuring a birthday boy with the subject of last week’s Old Guy Music. Double Old!

About The Author

Old Man With Candy

Old Man With Candy

Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me. Wait, wrong book, I'll find something else.

237 Comments

  1. The Late P Brooks

    Raconteur-in-Chief

    “This should be a straightforward and prompt confirmation. It should be very easy — good luck,” President Trump said at his Saturday event in the Rose Garden announcing his pick, but the crowd of supporters laughed. “It’s going to be very quick. I’m sure it will be extremely noncontroversial. We said that the last time, didn’t we?”

    They were rolling in the aisles.

    • Rhywun

      With that kind of snark he could fit right in here.

  2. CPRM

    Black holes and their related subjects are of main puzzles in science which many scientists work on them [1]. Physics of these objects is approximately known. However, they are lost, and many cosmological detectors and telescopes try to find them.

    Huh, Ok, whatever you say bub..

    • hayeksplosives

      “ Thus, the earth is the biggest system of telecommunication which connects DNAs, dark DNAs and molecules of water.”

      Yeah, sounds like the scientists got their hands on some of the good stuff.

    • Animal

      Well, the thing about a black hole – its main distinguishing feature – is it’s black. And the thing about space, the colour of space, your basic space colour, is black. So how are you supposed to see them?

      • Tejicano

        “So how are you supposed to see them?”

        With a telescope?

  3. The Late P Brooks

    He started his working life in the family business as a miner, then became a logger — but he joined the environmental movement when he learned the U.S. Forest Service was considering logging the old-growth forest near his childhood home.

    Proto-NIMBY.

  4. westernsloper

    “I wasn’t very nice,” Atiyeh said in 2016. “I followed them around and pulled out their survey stakes. I stole their chainsaws and ripped down their flagging. We put snow in their gas tanks and would steal their lunch.”

    Mother fucker. The first stuff meh, but you don’t fuck with a man’s lunch.

    • Tres Cool

      Specially another man’s fries.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      He’s lucky he made it 72 years doing that shit. Let a logging crew catch you out in the middle of nowhere doing things like that and oh brother.

      • prolefeed

        Sometimes inexperienced people accidentally wandering by a logging operation get hit by a falling tree. It is known.

  5. The Late P Brooks

    Of the eight people who suffered gunshot wounds, one of them died and another is in critical condition, said Fitzgerald. Four other people were injured by debris or glass and while fleeing.

    Fitzgerald said the gathering wasn’t authorized and investigators are trying to determine who leased the building.

    Who said you could do that?

    • Ted S.

      I was wondering if they were shot by the cops.

    • Ted S.

      I also thought all the bikers died at Sturgis.

  6. Grummun

    And finally, some real science stuff for ya.

    The hand-drawn figures really sell this one.

    This research did not receive any financial support

    Shocking.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      “We can write below results from our model and calculations: 1. Molecules of water are in related to dark DNAs in extra dimensions. On the other hand, dark DNAs have gender like normal DNAs.

      Thus, molecules of water can have some properties like gender, and each molecule of water with the gender of the male can attract by DNAs with the gender of female and reversely, each molecule of water with the gender of a female can attract with molecules of water with the gender of male (See Figures ​Figures99 and ​and1010).”

      That’s some Grade A malarkey. I like these guys.

      • Timeloose

        That’s come crazy shit, but it still is more scientific than any critical theory paper I’ve read.

        I like the plural use of DNA.

        The DNAs behave thusly.

      • Gender Traitor

        Under the Author Info, four of the thirteen listed authors are from Departments of Dermatology, and one is from “Clinic for Psychiatric Disorders.” Doesn’t specify a title, so….. a patient?

      • Rhywun

        That whole paragraph is so problematic I can’t even.

      • Plisade

        Yeah, I’ll have some of whatever those guys are having.

      • RBS

        I know what my third-grader’s science project is going to be this year.

    • Rhywun

      Oh shit… I couldn’t get past the abstract. Too busy picking my mouth up off the floor to go any further.

      • Gender Traitor

        THE SCIENCE IS SETTLED!!!

      • hayeksplosives

        “No thanks. I don’t drink water; the DNAs fuck in it.”

  7. The Late P Brooks

    With less than 40 days until November 3, Trump has been grinding out back-to-back in-person campaign rallies, while Biden’s schedule has been packed with virtual fundraisers and online events. The former vice president’s staffers insist that his strategy is to show voters that, unlike the president, he won’t risk the safety of Americans to get reelected.

    Pussy-in-Chief isn’t much of a job, Joe.

    • Sean

      *snicker*

    • Fatty Bolger

      Well, nobody’s buying that. They’re doing a pretty good job of keeping his constant “virtual event” flubs out of the mainstream, though.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I still say he “contracts” COVID before the first debate.

      • hayeksplosives

        They are trying to keep the gaffes out of the media? They’re failing horribly. I saw Joe last night claim to have joined politics one hundred eighty years ago.

        Dudes mouth is moving, but what is going on upstairs is a teddy bear tea party. Biden is gone.

  8. leon

    “He doesn’t know how to debate the facts, because he’s not that smart,” Biden said. “He doesn’t know that many facts. He doesn’t know much about foreign policy. He doesn’t know much about domestic policy. He doesn’t know much about the details.”

    When you get two very confident people going to a debate, it will make for a shitshow.

    • Gender Traitor

      Edited out by the MSM: “I’ve forgotten more than he’ll ever know.”

      • Chafed

        How do we get you a job at the NYT?

      • Gender Traitor

        I’ll work on beefing up my plagiarism credentials.

    • Mojeaux

      He doesn’t know much about foreign policy

      Those ME peace treaties just happened out of the blue.

      • hayeksplosives

        It’s because Trump is so racist and intolerant that these Arab nations decided to sign the treaties. The Arab countries are trying to teach Donnie how to be a good neighbor to Israel (which has already renamed a few streets after Trump).

      • Mojeaux

        Right?!

    • Grummun

      “He doesn’t know much about foreign policy. I mean, he has no clue how to properly monetize foreign policy to enrich his friends and family. That’s just basic stuff, man.”

      • Rhywun

        I’ll vote for Biden if he comes up with “Look, fat!”

  9. Tundra

    Good morning, Old Man!

    And good morning to the rest of you crazy bastards!

    I don’t think the melee in Waterloo had anything to do with the HH, but one can never be sure with this crew.

    It’s funny (sad?) that the radical environmentalist successfully prevented the loggers from harvesting the sustainable (and combustible!) resource that killed him. God works in mysterious ways.

    I’m not even sure I’m looking forward to the debates. Biden has deteriorated so much in the last couple weeks I have this suspicion something will go sideways and they will cancel or attempt to postpone. I wonder if his campaign manager has a drinking problem yet.

    …an unjustly overlooked songwriter and fine guitarist… gets overlooked for Old Guy Music!

    I got you, Randy.

    Have a great day, people!

    • Fourscore

      “the melee in Waterloo had anything to do with the HH”

      Hopped up on beeswax, no tolerance

      • Tundra

        Yes. Excellent selection.

    • kinnath

      Proud to see my hometown is making the national news.

    • Ted S.

      [gets out world’s tiniest violin]

      Unrelated, but how serious did Tom Hanks’ case turn out to be? I don’t recall hearing any horror stories after he announced he had contracted it, and haven’t heard anything about him in the media in months.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      It would be fitting for 2020 if Ralphie dropped dead and we got Justin “I Like Rape” Fairfax to fill out the rest of his term.

    • westernsloper

      It is nice to see the pols get their tests ran immediately while the rest of the country has to wait 7+ days for results.

      As of Friday morning, there are more than 144,000 confirmed cases in Virginia,……

      This language is really starting to piss me off. Given what we know now about the PCR tests, there are not 144,000 confirmed cases, there has been 144,000 people who tested positive to having at least some viral fragments in their system and not all may have contracted the Vid. That not all, could be as high as 90%.

      • Sean

        My gf got an on the spot test in NJ a couple weeks ago. It was required by her job. Negative results.

      • westernsloper

        The saliva test? I was reading about those last week. They are not used often probably because they are cheap.

      • Sean

        Swab up the nose. She was not happy.

      • westernsloper

        Oh ya, it sucks. I swear Nurse Swabby McRatchet stabbed the back of my eyeball. I had upper sinus pain for two days.

        I wonder what test it is they are getting instant results with a nasal swab and why CO isn’t using them.

      • Rhywun

        Mine were all nasals too.

      • Rhywun

        FWIW I’ve been tested 4 times and the results came back within hours – one of them back in May, even.

        It’s worth noting all my tests were taken at a hospital, two as a patient and two before procedures.

      • westernsloper

        Huh, see what I get for assuming. I assumed everywhere was like here and with a PCR test it is a 7 to 10 day wait for lab results. Only state labs are allowed to process afaik. Mine came back after 8 days.

      • Rhywun

        Yeah, my state perhaps surprisingly doesn’t seem to have that requirement.

      • hayeksplosives

        I’ve been tested twice here in So Cal. Both had results in 24hours, both negative.

      • Sean

        Yes. GF had hers done in a drive up testing center set up outside a hospital.

      • Rebel Scum

        This is not a time for nuance, man. You need to be afraid all the time. It’s a panic/casedemic!

        Speaking of fomenting fear, there was a speed sign, the ones that are on speed limit signs that tell you your speed when entering a lower speed zone, in NC when I was there that, instead of showing the speed of oncoming cars, said:

        *WEAR MASK
        WASH HANDS
        STAY SAFE, STAY SAFE*

        flashing on repeat. Be fearful, citizens, be fearful.

      • Gender Traitor

        Around here (SW Ohio,) we have highway signs that usually give the time & mileage to upcoming interchanges now directing drivers “PHONES DOWN, MASKS UP.”

      • UnCivilServant

        Burn it down.

        That sign needs to go.

      • Gender Traitor

        Are phasers and/or photon torpedoes available after-market for Subarus?

      • Rhywun

        If I see another variation on “stay apart” or “fear each other” I’m going to lose it. We’re brain-damaging a generation of kids and it’s not much better on adults.

    • Drake

      They need daily tests for Hydroxycloroquine.

  10. Rhywun

    Gleeful Yom Kippur

    Right? I get a three-day weekend out of it. ?

    • Tres Cool

      l’chaim!

      • Rhywun

        Danke!

        That’s the correct response, right?

      • Ted S.

        It’s a night different from all other nights. 😉

      • Ted S.

        Or maybe “Next year in Kiryas Joel”.

      • Tres Cool

        As far as Im concerned.

  11. Lackadaisical

    “I wasn’t very nice,” Atiyeh said in 2016. “I followed them around and pulled out their survey stakes. I stole their chainsaws and ripped down their flagging. We put snow in their gas tanks and would steal their lunch.”

    Shits given: none. Kind of ironic death really.

    • Ted S.

      He choked on the black fly in his chardonnay?

      • hayeksplosives

        It rained on his wedding day.

      • Mojeaux

        He won the lottery and died the next day.

      • CPRM

        And he married Ryan Reynolds…I’m not sure if I’m doing this right…

  12. The Late P Brooks

    Also, from t6hat NPR story:

    Biden’s running mate, Sen. Kamala Harris, D-Calif., is a member of the Senate Judiciary Committee and will get the chance to question Barrett, a moment that will likely get wall-to-wall national television coverage.

    But with little ability to alter the outcome, she may use the opportunity to highlight the issues she thinks are at stake in the election, and spend less time drilling down into controversial topics that divide voters whom the ticket is hoping to attract.

    She’s going to use the hearing as a political campaign opportunity? What about the Hatch Act?

    • Drake

      And like every time she speaks, she’ll alienate and anger everyone who watches her.

  13. Rhywun

    “It’s just a false narrative about transgender people and about transgender women in particular that they’re somehow not really women [….]”

    We’re just gonna keep going down this rabbit hole, aren’t we?

    • leon

      Until you women haters recognize that anything can be a woman!

      • mrfamous

        Tammy Wynette would disagree

    • Timeloose

      If I had to do 20 yrs I would definitely choose to do it in a women’s prison.

      • Fourscore

        After a week in a women’s prison cries of help could be heard.

      • UnCivilServant

        You’ve been assigned to the tranny block.

      • Mojeaux

        I chuckled.

    • Rebel Scum

      Biology/anatomy are creations of colonization and white-supremacy. It is known.

    • Chafed

      Forget it Rhywun. It’s California.

  14. leon

    “One of the main questions in science is about the relation between the inner core of the earth, life, water and waves. ”

    Truly the holy Grail of science

  15. PieInTheSky

    I voted today. I feel dirty.

    • Sean

      Good afternoon Pie.

      • PieInTheSky

        back at ya

  16. The Late P Brooks

    Survey sez- FUCK OFF

    A door-to-door Covid-19 survey in Minnesota has been halted after team members reported receiving racial and ethnic slurs in the city of Eitzen, according to state health officials, but the city denies the claims.
    “A door-to-door Covid-19 testing survey has been halted due to multiple incidents in outstate Minnesota of residents intimidating and shouting racial and ethnic slurs at state and federal public health survey team,” the Minnesota Department of Health (MDH) tweeted Friday.
    Eitzen is in southern Minnesota near the Iowa boarder.
    The Community Assessment for Public Health Emergency Response (CASPER) survey is “a voluntary, in-person survey to understand the effect Covid-19 is having on Minnesota communities,” the MDH website says.

    “Many of the individual incidents could perhaps have been considered misunderstandings,” Dan Huff, assistant commissioner of MDH’s Health Protection Bureau, told CNN affiliate WCCO. “But over the past week, a pattern emerged where the CASPER teams that included people of color were reporting more incidents than teams that did not include people of color. Given the uncertainty of the situation and the impact the incidents had on team members, CDC decided to demobilize their field staff.”

    Maybe you idiots should consider the possibility that everybody in the state is terminally pissed off at you because you’re a bunch of incompetent lying quacks.

      • Fourscore

        So, just a little misunderstanding by the locals. Same as when the James gang arrived in Springfield to make a cash withdrawal.

    • Rhywun

      “Boarder”?

      Yeah, bullshit.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      How is “fuck off and get off my property” an ethnic slur?

    • Rebel Scum

      “Fuck off and leave me alone.” is sometimes not a strong enough message.

  17. Sensei

    “…another solon who had something in common with Art Garfunkel”

    Excellent Old Man, excellent.

    • Tundra

      Gross.

      • Mojeaux

        Her taste is questionable.

      • hayeksplosives

        I wonder what she looks like after a good scrubbing down and no careful posing and lighting.

      • Mojeaux

        Or Spanx.

  18. Tundra

    Berkley is apparently out of real problems.

    This city just banned candy from supermarket checkout aisles

    “We’re not saying you can’t have these goods. We’re just saying they’re not going to be right at the eye level of your children when they walk into the store and you’re waiting in that long line at check out,” Council Member Kate Harrison said. “We know that people that eat a lot of high-sugar and salty products have worse health outcomes and this particularly besets low-income communities and people of color.”

    That ought to do it. Nice work, people!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      They just can’t not tell you how to live.

      Meanwhile, if you told them that alternative lifestyles came with a measure of risk, they would freak right out.

    • Grumbletarian

      Impulse buying should be illegal!!!

      • Plinker762

        7 day waiting period and health background check

      • westernsloper

        I must confess I grab a bag of Munch on my trek to self checkout more times than I want to admit. There would be violence if they kept me from my Munch.

      • Gender Traitor

        We are stockpiling Ice Breakers spearmint mints because…well, you just can’t be too careful.

        I need a good use for all the empty containers. They just seem like an answer looking for the right question. Used one for some beads I bought from Mojeaux, but then her friend done gone and bought up all the rest of ’em. : (

      • westernsloper

        Take up fly tying.

      • Mojeaux

        I think I still have my wholesale account with the bead vendor if you want more.

      • Gender Traitor

        Thanks! I’ll let you know. In the meantime, I still have a crochet project to finish. And a counted cross-stitch pattern to try out. Point of order on that: should I try to transfer the pattern (in this case, just the outline parts) onto the fabric (I have a transfer pen,) or just look at the pattern and ackshually count stitches?

      • Mojeaux

        As it happens, I’ve got 2 projects going that I’m doing both ways.

        The first I used an iron-on transfer pencil and that’s going swimmingly, but I’m also bored. See my Insta, @therealmoriahjovan. What I’m worried about is whether it’ll come out when I wash it. However, it’s just my company logo I’m doing for myself, and maybe it won’t show up in pictures if it’s not too close up.

        But for the second project, I tried tracing it on graphed vellum and charting it, but that wasn’t working well. I know myself well enough to know I can’t look at the art and freehand it.

        I ended up blowing the art up (Hello, Office Depot) and drawing the chart directly on it (grid an inch, then ten lines between each inch-line). Then I gridded my fabric into 10×10 stitch squares. You do that with a running stitch with regular thread every ten blocks both warp and weft. Some people use a soluble pen to do that, but I don’t trust that.

        With the second project I’m stitching with two strands over two squares (I hate Aida). That’s going a bit less swimmingly since some of the details of the art are so thin I have to stitch 1 strand over one square, but sometimes I don’t know whether to stitch squares or whether to backstitch.

        It’s a pic of Patrick Mahomes I’m doing for my husband, so it’s not like he’ll notice or care how perfect it is, but I’m trying. It’s frustrating and becoming not fun.

        I’m wanting to start a third small project just to break up my frustration.

      • Gender Traitor

        Thanks! I’m tempted just to look at the pattern and count the stitches, simply for the challenge.

      • UnCivilServant

        One, two, many.

        There are many stitches.

      • Gender Traitor

        In Lapine, hrair.

      • Mojeaux

        Some projects get into the hundreds of thousands of stitches. I have never attempted one of those (376,000 stitches).

      • Gender Traitor

        one of those (376,000 stitches)

        Holy crap! Gorgeous, but human life is not long enough.

      • Mojeaux

        I believe people who do those have a standing frame and stitch two-handed. I don’t like quilting with two hands (I stab; I don’t use a running stitch as I was taught is proper) and I certainly don’t like cross stitching with two hands.

      • Gender Traitor

        Two hands? Sounds too much like work.

      • Mojeaux

        I hadn’t thought of it that way, but you are exactly right!

        Now, if it’s your life’s work, I get it. Me, I want something I can pick up whenever and just work on.

        I’ve made some huge projects, but they were either for gifts or they were commissions. Also, I’ve worked on something I loved when I started, but hated when I was finished, so I sold them.

        I have a 30-year-old pattern I do for all my loved ones’ weddings. Well, DID. I don’t have anyone my age getting married anymore, but I’ve done that one four or five times. I even keep it kitted up.

        I got it out the other day. I don’t like it anymore.

    • Rhywun

      Stupid people of color. Right, Berkeley?

    • Rebel Scum

      Nannyism is for your own good, subject citizen.

    • zwak

      Now where will Trayvon get his Skittles?

  19. The Late P Brooks

    Speaking of crazy people with typewriters

    It follows that if he loses the election, Trump will not accept the result because it would be the product of Anti-Trump Nation, and Trump isn’t the president of people who would vote against him. As he recently claimed, “The only way we’re going to lose this election is if the election is rigged.”

    In the warped minds of Trump and his acolytes, this could lead to civil war. Just this week he refused to commit to a peaceful transition of power. His consigliere Roger Stone urges him to declare “martial law” if he loses. Michael Caputo, assistant secretary of public affairs at the Department of Health and Human Services, warns “the shooting will begin” when Trump refuses to go.

    Civil war is unlikely, but the weeks and perhaps months after election day will surely be fraught. Even if Trump is ultimately forced to relinquish power, his core adherents will continue to view him as their leader. If he retains power, many if not most Americans will consider his presidency illegitimate.

    So whatever happens, Trump’s megalomaniacal ego will prevail. America will have come apart over him, and Trump Nation will have seceded from Anti-Trump Nation.

    I know you are, but what am I?

    • Rebel Scum

      Just this week he refused to commit to a peaceful transition of power.

      Not true.

      Biden should not concede under any circumstances. – HRC

      Even clearly losing?

      If he retains power, many if not most Americans will consider his presidency illegitimate.

      I wonder what people will think when “votes” continue to trickle in after the election from just the correct areas to swing the election to Biden.

      • RBS

        “I wonder what people will think when “votes” continue to trickle in after the election from just the correct areas to swing the election to Biden.”

        That’s just the democratic process…

    • EvilSheldon

      Welp, if we’re gonna throw down, let’s get on with it. None of us are getting any younger.

  20. Mojeaux

    Mornin’, Glibbies!

    Things are looking up in Chez Mojeaux with impending mom-son bonding over scrap metal.

    Big Trump parade through town yesterday. No masks while people were commingling. Local news isn’t giving participation estimates (or I missed it), but the one guy they interviewed was coherent, calm, and mentioned that though he just finished chemo, he wasn’t going to wear a mask. WRT ACB, he quoted RBG saying the president is still president in his last year. By contrast, the counter protestors were almost unhinged with spittle all over their mouths. Not really, but they might as well have had. They also couldn’t elaborate on what OMB had actually done wrong.

    No football today.

    • Gender Traitor

      bonding over scrap metal

      Great news! So….welding?

      • Mojeaux

        Nope. He acquired more junk that I am making him get rid of, but it also means a little money.

    • Rhywun

      My cable operator has moved RedZone from my sports package to a higher one. I assume they do this stuff (same happened with one of the Fox channels last year) at the behest of sports leagues so yeah it looks like the NFL is A-OK with losing viewers.

      • Mojeaux

        The Chiefs moved from the same radio station they’ve been on for 20 years because they jacked their fees up so high the station said, “Fine. Move. We’renot paying that.”

        Also, Chiefs had a hard time filling 25% of the stadium with the ticket prices they set BEFORE Covid hit and they weren’t discounting until it became clear few people were going to pay those prices ESPECIALLY when they couldn’t tailgate like before.

        So they overestimated what monetary value they could put on a Superbowl win. Fans were/are pissy.

  21. The Late P Brooks

    Pro mask governor tests positive: tragic.

    Anti mask governor tests positive: poetic justice.

    The media truly is our enemy.

    • Rebel Scum

      I’m looking forward to gov Blackface McCoonman having near zero symptoms and then having to explain that this cold is still just the worsetess thing evar.

  22. westernsloper

    This will stop them.

    Boulder County Public Health issued an order Thursday that prohibits gatherings of people ages 18 to 22 and puts in place a stay-at-home mandate for anyone living at 36 properties near the University of Colorado Boulder campus.

    • Tundra

      So wrong.

      I look forward, however, to the kids’ creativity in thwarting the prohibition.

      • westernsloper

        Yep. Cue the BLM signs and Social Justice banners.

  23. The Late P Brooks

    Boulder County Public Health issued an order Thursday

    If I were Heap Big Chief of CU, I think I’d want a little sit-down with the folks from Boulder County. “You are fucking with our livelihood, and we want you to to knock it the fuck off.”

  24. straffinrun

    Bauer isn’t dressing up as Trump, but he is imitating his style and expected strategy by throwing insults and bizarre digressions at Biden.

    Best job in the world.

    • Tundra

      Trump will fuck him up by being nice.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    They just can’t not tell you how to live.

    And then they profess astonishment at out-of-control policing.

  26. Tonio

    I think Brooks is on to something.

  27. The Late P Brooks

    I was looking for something in the “Fools and Their Money” category, but I found this instead.

    SWEET

  28. The Late P Brooks

    He acquired more junk that I am making him get rid of, but it also means a little money.

    You’re pulling the plug on his FrankenMower project?

    • Mojeaux

      Yes. First, the parts I put on eBay for him aren’t selling. Had an offer on one that was subsequently rescinded.

      But more than that, he acquired another mower (riding, free, from reputable, generous source) without our knowledge or permission (as he was told), but that one works and the condition is that he actually pay someone else to tune it up. The only thing he can do is polish it like a cherished antique car.

      Now we have to build a ramp to get it in the truck.

    • Mojeaux

      I hinestly thought, hoped, prayed he could fix that mower, but he ended up just tearing it apart because he was impatient instead of just being patient, figuring it out, googling and youtubing, so I’ve been really disappointed about it. I wanted him to succeed, and I thought he could. He could’ve if he’d been patient and methodical.

  29. Count Potato

    “Police say a right-wing Proud Boys rally and counter-protests in Portland, Oregon, have largely dispersed without serious violence, though they are investigating an assault after one person who was documenting the event was pushed to the ground and kicked in the face.

    About 1,000 people gathered at the Proud Boys rally in Delta Park on Saturday, while a group of 500 left-wing counter-protesters massed at nearby Peninsula Park, leading to fears of clashes.

    Ahead of the right-wing rally, which organizers said was to support President Donald Trump and ‘to end domestic terrorism’, Oregon Governor Kate Brown declared a state of emergency and Mayor Ted Wheeler said it poses the ‘greatest threat we’ve faced so far’ amid fears of clashes with left-wing protesters.

    At the site of the left-wing Black Lives Matter counter-protest, cops said they seized buckets full of large rocks as well as condoms ‘full of unknown liquid’. Condoms filled with urine have previously been used as weapons by Antifa supporters in Portland.

    Three blocks from the left-wing protest, an Oregon State Trooper sustained minor injuries after a large rock was throw at his patrol car window, police said.

    Separately, police said a criminal citation was issued after officials confiscated firearms, paintball guns, baseball bats and shields from a pick-up truck that was initially stopped for having obscured license plates as it left the Proud Boys rally.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8776177/Proud-Boys-wearing-military-armor-gather-pro-Trump-rally-end-domestic-terrorism-Portland.html

  30. westernsloper

    Heh

    • Tundra

      He’s been on a tear. He made a joke about RP’s Biden imitation and people flipped the fuck out.

      • Gender Traitor

        Does RP = Rand Paul? I’d love to see that!

      • Mojeaux

        Ron Paul. He had a stroke live on a podcast and his garbled speech was reminiscent of Biden’s normal nonsense, hence someone made the joke, Ron Paul’s Biden imitation.

      • Gender Traitor

        Ah, gotcha! Thanks!

        I’d still love to see Rand spoof Joe. I’m not a nice person.

      • Mojeaux

        We may have to wait until Festivus for more good Rand trolling.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Intelligent speech and snark on Twitter is like casting pearls before swine.

    • Rhywun

      I can’t figure out if Jo is unaware of what “anti-racist” is a dog whistle for, or supportive of it.

  31. The Late P Brooks

    I wanted him to succeed, and I thought he could. He could’ve if he’d been patient and methodical.

    With any luck, he has learned *something* even if it wasn’t what he set out to do. Maybe he’ll take a smaller bite, next opportunity.

    • Mojeaux

      His therapist talked with him about that extensively because it’s so perfect a metaphor for what he does, and he’s gotten some clarity on it, I think.

      That said, virtual school is not going well. He shares my office, so I’ve had to direct him with regard to “going to” class on time and keeping up with his assignments. He’s always done well with grades and has always been self-directed with his schoolwork, but virtually, he’s been easily confused. Hell, *I* am confused, so I try not to make it too much about him. Only thing I can do to help him is make sure he stays on top of his assignments.

      • Rhywun

        Thoughts and prayers. (really :))

        I can’t imagine how trying it is dealing with this shit. My boss has a little one, too young for school, who keeps tearing through meetings.

      • Mojeaux

        Thanks, I appreciate that. I mean it. ?

  32. The Late P Brooks

    It’s not about punishment

    A Maryland man is set to serve a year in prison after hosting two large parties at his home amid the state’s coronavirus restrictions on gatherings.

    A statement from the Charles County State’s Attorney’s Office on Friday said that Shawn Marshall Myers, 42, was convicted of two counts of failure to comply with an emergency order after a bench trial before District Court Judge W. Louis Hennessy.

    The statement added that Myers will serve a year at the Charles County Detention Center, followed by a three-year unsupervised probation period.

    Prosecutors said in the statement that police officers first responded to reports of a large party at Myers’s home on March 22. Officers claim that an estimated 50 people were at the gathering, thus violating Republican Gov. Larry Hogan’s state of emergency order prohibiting gatherings of more than 10 people amid the coronavirus pandemic.

    Myers reportedly began arguing with officers before eventually agreeing to end the party.

    Oh, wait. Yes, it is.

    OBEY

    • westernsloper

      The event that brought down the heavy hand of Boulder Health

      Hopefully this stuff will result in a generation of liberty minded government haters.

      On a personal note, while I did not attend CU I did rush every fraternity there with friends who were students. Free beer is free beer.

    • Drake

      “Failure to comply…”

      Is that really a law?

      • prolefeed

        Translation: First big party, got a warning because young and stupid. Second big party, threw the book at him for Disrespecting Their Authoritah.

      • CPRM

        got a warning because young

        Shawn Marshall Myers, 42,

        I mean, to Fourscore he’s just a pup, but that’s middle aged man.

    • prolefeed

      Who the fuck agrees to a bench trial, instead of a jury trial, when some of the public is on your side and the judge ain’t?

  33. The Late P Brooks

    The clouds have started to clear away. Snow at the higher elevations, last night.

    • CPRM

      The clouds have started to clear away.

      Ah, so yelling at them does work! #Science!

  34. Drake

    I did not know Gruber was a magician.

    • Old Man With Candy

      The Great Ballantine.

    • cyto

      Of course Hans Gruber was a magician

      “You ask for a miracle, I give you the F B I.”

  35. The Late P Brooks

    Stine said one woman drove around the Hill searching for parties or gatherings she could photograph.

    “I’ll say that’s not because she hates fraternities, although she may,” Stine said. “I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and say she doesn’t want to die from those kinds of gatherings.”

    Maybe you should stay home, Karen.

    • cyto

      I stuck my Karen response anecdote below.

    • UnCivilServant

      I don’t have anything in that sad caliber.

      • Rebel Scum

        Me neither. But if I got an AK I’d probably get it in that caliber. My 7.62 rifle will be an SKS, whenever I can afford to get one.

      • UnCivilServant

        The only 7.62 diameter bore rifle I have is a mosin. It doesn’t take short cartridges.

      • UnCivilServant

        If you dare measure my .308 in metric, I’l end you.

      • Sean

        lol

      • Sean

        They’re not getting any cheaper.

      • Tejicano

        I still have a couple complete kits with receivers and all required US made parts, in boxes waiting for me to make the time to put them together.

        At this point I’m half tempted to just send them off to a shop somewhere to build them for me. As cheap as they were when I got them – and what they’re worth now – I may as well just save the time and be done with it.

        All this waiting until I can travel to the US again…

    • Rebel Scum

      Ouch…

    • Red Pill Matt

      I saw that live. I assumed he was dead.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      oh fuck

    • RBS

      “Celebrities.” These people are unhinged.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Morons that won a popularity contest. And in Alec Baldwin’s case, a drunken malevolent moron.

    • Grumbletarian

      Barrett takes a strict “originalist” view of the Constitution that prioritizes the original text over subsequent interpretations.

      Actor Alec Baldwin insisted that Judge Barrett “is only another card that the Psycho turns over to destroy the Constitution.”

      Those damn originalists!! Our living Constitution will be rolling in its grave right next to Saint Ruth!!!

  36. Rebel Scum

    I mean, they were clearly asking for it dressing like that.

    Earlier this week, a 22-year-old woman in Strasbourg named Elisabeth was the victim of an assault by three young men, with two holding her while the third man punched her in the face and left her with a black eye.

    The victim said the men commented on her skirt before the attack, saying: “Look at that whore in a skirt.”

    Around 15 people witnessed the attack, which took place in broad daylight, but no one intervened, broadcaster France Bleu reports. …

    In the city of Mulhouse, two young women were attacked by an 18-year-old young man on Wednesday. According to the victims, the man accused one of them of wearing shorts that was too short and followed the pair to a tram stop while insulting them.

    The teen then slapped one of the girls and pushed her to the ground and grabbed the other girl by the neck before leaving the scene.

    Similar scenes have been described by women living in the city of Rennes, with city councillor Anaïs Jehanno saying: “In 2020, young girls no longer dare to walk around Rennes in miniskirts. Night workers are afraid to go home.”

    Unstated but I suspect it is a result of cultural enrichment.

    • Chafed

      He has a good point. Also, where is the bodycam footage?

      • westernsloper

        Seems only the responding officers after the shooting had body cameras. Whole thing stinks.

      • CPRM

        Body cams are expensive, can’t risk breaking them in a fight, that comes out of the slushfund.

      • Drake

        They were not wearing body cams or uniforms.

  37. cyto

    From the article about the shooting at the Biker meet-up:

    “This meeting was not authorized”

    What in the ever loving hell has happened to my country!

    A bunch of dudes who like to ride motorcycles decide to hang out for a couple of hours, and they government wants to authorize that? Where are my American citizens? Are there any of you left? Do we really tolerate government officials who want us to seek authorization for our fantasy football draft, or our bible study, or any other type of meeting we damned well feel like having?

    Screw the idiot bureaucrats who think we need to seek their permission to come together, but even more so at this point, screw everyone who isn’t riding these asshats out of town on a rail.

    If it wasn’t bad enough that some governments are inviting sociopaths to come in to their city and burn it to the ground, we have a bunch of dickless wonders who think they get to decide if we worship together, ride bikes together or do absolutely anything at all together. Who the hell are you people who put up with this crap, and where did you come from? Because you damned sure were not raised in the same America I was raised in.

    • cyto

      And yes, it is remarkable that the take-home from an article about an event where people were actually shot when a melee broke out is that some official made the comment that the meeting was not authorized.

    • Rebel Scum

      and 10 years Vice President?

      I think he was trying to say “tenure” so I’ll give him that one. But the 180 years? Lol.

      • cyto

        I couldn’t tell if he was joking…. they are selling it as a teleprompter misread, but I’m not sure I see that either.

        BTW, did you see the bizarre gaslighting attempt by the Biden campaign on the teleprompter issue? They put a TV by Biden so that when the Trump team claimed it was a teleprompter, they could say he was looking at the TV.

        Just plain dumb. We know he was using a teleprompter to answer questions all summer – you don’t ask a TV to scroll down, nor do you read stage directions out loud because there is a TV present.

        But I saw a bunch of people in the press and even the FACT CHECK people saying that this is proof that Trump lies.

    • Drake

      Tenure? I can’t tell, sounds like his dentures are loose.

  38. The Late P Brooks

    Who the hell are you people who put up with this crap, and where did you come from? Because you damned sure were not raised in the same America I was raised in.

    I wish I had the capacity to hack the road signs mentioned above, and replace the “Be Afraid” messages with “We have nothing to fear but fear itself”.

  39. Mojeaux

    Seen on FB and promptly snoozed:

    I’m 42. I’m going to die with less rights then I had when I was born.

    Bitch, please. Nobody’s going to bring abortion back to the Supreme Court. It wouldn’t get far even if someone tried.

    • cyto

      Not to crap on your point, Mojeaux, but did you have to present papers when driving through New Mexico as a kid? Or did you submit to naked scanner machines to travel by air? Or did you have anyone from the government deciding what color you could paint your house – once an anachronism of historic districts, now common… Or how about having to beg at the counter for real cold medicine, and if you buy too much, having the cops come raid your house?

      Or how about having the state seize your car because it has a hole cut in the trunk from mounting a subwoofer amp? Or how about the feds taking your bank account and your house and charging you with a felony because you make regular deposits and withdrawals of less than $10,000?

      Need I go on?

      The world is a much better place in so many ways than when we were kids,…. but the ratchet of government only turns in one direction….

      • Mojeaux

        I don’t really understand your point. If that’s directed at me, I didn’t make the comment about having fewer rights. Someone else did, and I promptly snoozed her.

        She was talking about abortion. SJWs and lefty chicks have a one-track mind.

    • Rhywun

      Well, she’s probably right anyway if not in the way she thinks.

    • Plinker762

      She? is not wrong on less rights. Just which ones.

    • westernsloper

      Well, leaving abortion out of it she’s not wrong.

    • Ted S.

      To be fair, lots of governors are using the coronavirus to violate people’s rights out the wazoo.

    • CPRM

      Well, I do agree with the fewer rights idea; if this an abortion complaint, it is kind of ironic to say she was born…

      • cyto

        This was like that scene in Deadpool 2 when Cable says some line that can be turned into a dirty joke and they say “let’s all do it together” and they all say the same jokes over the top of each other.

      • CPRM

        that scene in Deadpool 2

        Did you double callback knowingly or unknowingly?

      • ruodberht

        Truly you are the Lord of the Seven Kingdoms

    • Mojeaux

      Note to self: Make my snark clearer next time.

  40. cyto

    I had my first encounter with a Karen Wednesday at church.

    i had no idea how infuriating Karens are in person. I laugh at the videos, but don’t really get worked up. Just an eye-roll.

    But the Karen on Wednesday really found a way to push a button I didn’t even know I had.

    I was volunteering with kids. This was just our second week back, and the crowd was about double what it was the prior week at about 60. 90 is normal, so it is coming back pretty quick. There were a lot of new faces, and getting the kids to comply with the distancing and mask rules for a couple of hours was a challenge. The rules were new to them as well as being a pain in the rear.

    We also had some shortages of volunteers. There are a disproportionate number of retirees among the volunteers, as one might guess. So after running the games for all 60 kids, I handled our “small group” meeting for two of the groups of boys… double the normal number I would take. And the group I was adding in had two special needs kids who were also new to our youth program. So special needs, plus don’t know the system, plus new rules about masks and distancing. Plus I had a kid who accidentally got sent to the elementary group and should have been in the older group upstairs.

    So here I am at the end of a couple of hours of wrangling kids and dealing with the two special needs kids, trying to get my kids all organized and dismissed to their parents in an orderly manner while thinking about hustling this other kid upstairs so he can meet all the older kids before they break up… and the two special needs kids are not cooperating. They won’t sit down any more (it has been too long for them) and they really, really want to mess with this gel stuff we were doing a demo with. One special needs kid is next to me, and the other one comes around the table and starts climbing over my shoulder… all while I’m checking off who is leaving, cleaning up and trying to greet all the parents… I’m telling this one to sit down, that one to put his mask back on, that one to pick up his pencils and put them away…. and dealing with the special needs kid who was crying in the corner an hour and a half ago and was finally feeling comfortable in the group and having fun… but wouldn’t sit down…

    That’s the scene that Karen walks up to…

    Karen gets right in my face and turns on sanctimonious lecturing Karen voice: “That kid is NOT wearing a mask and he is RIGHT NEXT TO YOU! And you are a VOLUNTEER HERE!”

    “I’ got this” I said, dismissively and went back to juggling cats….

    But inside I was really, really annoyed. Like disproportionately annoyed.

    I get the Karen thing so much more now. Karen is a bitch….

    • Gender Traitor

      If it happens again, put her to work – ideally with the most difficult task at hand.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      “If you’re uncomfortable, perhaps you should leave.”

    • Rhywun

      I look at it as Karen has been needlessly frightened by The State. Cut her some slack.

      • Ted S.

        I get the impression Karens *want* to boss other people around. They’re in their glory with all this coronavirus shit.

        The Karen in my life is the HR person at work, and she’s been all in on the antisocial distancing theater. My tending to keep to myself doesn’t count as social distancing. And being the first one in the office, with nobody to social distance *from*, sure as hell doesn’t mean to her that I should just have the mask around my neck on the way into the building in case I need it at other times during the day.

    • Mojeaux

      Why do people treat volunteers like shit?

      “And you’re PRIVILEGED we let you be a volunteer!”

    • Chafed

      She has a rather unchristian attitude.

    • westernsloper

      But inside I was really, really annoyed. Like disproportionately annoyed.

      My reaction too the one and only time I was yelled at to put on a mask. I promptly left and haven’t entered that store since. If she had been nice about it I would have complied but she was a right cunte about it so I turned around and walked out.

    • Tejicano

      Reading this pointed out to me in bold relief why I cannot see myself going to a church like that. The most polite response which came to my mind would have been “Ma’am, I have a suggestion for you which would include the horse you rode in on.”

    • KSuellington

      “6 feet is that way (points finger). And really six is just a minimum so feel free to increase the distance.”

  41. The Late P Brooks

    But inside I was really, really annoyed. Like disproportionately annoyed.

    I get the Karen thing so much more now. Karen is a bitch….

    Let me guess. She did nothing to actually be helpful, she just corrected you.

    • cyto

      That was the beauty moment… I was too busy to notice where she went, but she marched directly to the youth minister to complain.

      She smiled at her kindly and said, “You are welcome to volunteer! We are always looking for more help!”

      Karen apparently stormed out, angrily yelling at anyone who would listen that it is no wonder everyone got covid.

      • Gender Traitor

        Beautiful! : )