“Surely, you can do something for us. We’ve been marching here for weeks now. Do you know how far it is here from Florida?” Cornelius asked.
“Sir, I say sir, I’d a told ya before. We are not gonna send aw sons with ya only to get rolled over by the King’s men. We done offered ya some slaves, even a few hill folk and a couple Freedmen volunteered to go, but there just ain’t gonna be enough to satisfy ya. I’m sorry.”
The rest of the church nodded silently in agreement. Cornelius had only one job on the his trip to Tennessee and that was to recruit more volunteers. Even here, they were becoming harder to come by. The General had a soft spot for people from the hills; they seemed to make better soldiers in his mind.
“Well, if that is what your town are able to offer, Reverend, we will accept these fine recruits into our ranks.” Cornelius had no choice but to accept. The main force was comprised mostly of volunteers from Tennessee and Kentucky at first. After they overran the British in Pensacola those volunteers took a big hit. Replenishing the main force with fresh recruits was essential but most of the newest ones were slaves offered by the masters. An easy way out of volunteering but they were eager to fight since their freedom was given upon discharge. Plus, normally the heads of the house sent more than one with Cornelius, so the ranks would fill a bit quicker at least.
None of them would know their way around a rifle, the heads of the house very often made sure of that.
“You have the thanks of President James Madison, and the United States government.” That formality never seemed sincere escaping Cornelius’ lips, but he had to say it nonetheless. “We will leave at sunrise tomorrow.”
“Twelve, that’s all we get sir, twelve?” Timothy, the Sgt. Major asked.
“Had Jackson come up here himself this whole of the town would’ve go with him. I’m sure once we make a few stops in the territories we’ll pick up a few more.” Cornelius replied.
“What makes you so sure?”
“I suppose a few stories of British ships traveling along the coasts will shore up some discontent.”
The two men waited silently behind the church for a time, looking over the smoky mountains. Slowly the blue corona over the rolling peaks crept up.
“What do you suppose that is Timothy?”
A blinding light took both men by surprise. Cornelius shielded his eyes and looked away from the horizon.
“I suppose sir, that we’re not to look directly at the sun.”
“I thought it was early for that.” Cornelius replied.
The company of twelve double timed through the swamp. Cornelius hurried them along at times, sweat dripping from his men’s faces while their feet thumped rhythmically against the soft dirt road. He knew he could continue this pace only because it was winter.
“Sir, they need to stop. We can’t keep this up much longer.” Timothy pleaded.
“We need to relay the message! We can slow but we can’t stop.” Cornelius said firmly.
“We? Sir, a message can be given by one man… look at them, they can hardly stand.”
Cornelius thought about what Timothy meant by that for a minute or two, then dismounted.
“Who knows how to ride?” Cornelius asked.
“I do, Sir.”
“What is your name?” Cornelius asked the man who answered.
“Isaiah.” The man spat out between labored breaths.
“Give the General the message,” Cornelius scribbled in a small diary. “Orders from Washington are to cease and desist. Peace Treaty signed in Ghent. War is over, do not engage.” He ripped out the sheet of paper and handed it to his volunteer. He then dismounted his horse.
“What’d if dey don’t believe me, Sir?” Isaiah asked.
“We will arrive a little more than a day behind you. Ride to the General’s Headquarters on Royal St. If you don’t know where that is, most of the city has been evacuated so anyone still there is a volunteer, and can point you the way. If there is any trouble, tell them you were sent by Major Cornelius Greewood.” He pulled out a flintlock pistol from his belt, and handed Isaiah the pistol, extra shot and his powder horn. “Do not get captured.”
“For the last time. My name is Major Cornelius Greenwood. I sent a rider ahead yesterday to pass on a message to the General, did he receive that message?”
“No riders came in with a message in the last few days. Unless them fellers from Mississippi covered head to toe with mud are you boys.” The aide replied.
“I’m afraid my boys are from Tennessee. No matter, I can give it to him myself.” Cornelius stormed past the guard into the Generals quarters.
The General’s quarters was surprisingly simple. A table with a map of the topography lay in the center. Stacks of books and papers littered across tables and chairs. A small group of officers and other men sat talking amongst themselves. All of them seemingly trying to get the attention of one skinny man in the center of the room. Clean shaven face that seemed to remain in a permanent scowl with a plume of puffy, white hair.
“Who are you?” A man with a Creole accent asked Cornelius.
“Major Cornelius Greenwood. Might I ask who you might be?”
“Jean Lafitte.”
“The pirate?”
“How he makes his money is no concern today, Major.” The skinny General interjected. “He’s American and by the Grace of God that’s all matters.” He looked Cornelius up and down. “Where’s my men?”
“Well, I could only get twelve… Until..”
“Twelve! Good God, Cornelius! Do you know what we’re up against? Twelve won’t cut it.” The General went on cursing out the room for a minute or two before turning back to Lafitte. “You brought 650 and two ships, we picked up another regiment of Dragroons from Mississippi, 2100 Dirty Shirts whom you have added a dozen… 2300 Kentucky militiamen… What are we up against?”
“A fleet of ships and over 6000 soldiers, Sir.” Another officer reported. “Plus, fewer than a third of those boys from Kentucky came with a rifle.”
“God help me.”
“In this case he did, Sir!” Cornelius said. The General turned to give him an inquisitive look. “That’s why I recruited so few, I received a message from Washington.”
“Is that so!?”
“Due to a peace treaty with the British our orders are to cease and desist. We are not to engage their forces in the area.” Cornelius answered.
“Who told you that?” The General asked.
“Two officers on horseback approached us on the way to Vicksburg. One by the name of Stratsberg, impeccably dressed man if I say so, and the other with the name Larue. He was short, laughably short. They said you would know who they were from your dealings with the president.”
“Short like Mr. Madison?”
“Much shorter, Sir.” Cornelius answered.
“Ha! Never head of them.” After a laughing snort, the General regained his composure. “That type of thing would show up in writing, they give you anything?”
Cornelius reached into a small messenger bag and pulled out a leather bound envelope. He handed it to the General. He peered inside and removed the yellow parchment and looked up with a half cocked eyebrow.
“Cornelius, do you know what this note says?” The General asked,
“Not specifically, sir.”
The General turned the paper repeatedly so that Cornelius could see that both sides were blank.
“This note tells me nothing new, therefore my orders are by the good Grace of The Lord Almighty smiling down upon us in heaven, to kill every last one of these bastards!”
– boom – – boom –
The faint blast of cannon fire silenced everyone in the room.
“Send for a report, James.” He looked back at Cornelius. “Whether the wars over or not, it ends today.”
—-
“Have you considered that a historical figure is historical for a reason?” Larue asked while watching the events unfold in front of the screen.
“Perhaps we can try to be more direct.” Stratsberg suggested in his heavy German accent.
“I think you should start smaller.”
—-
He sat waiting behind the column. A congressman died a week earlier and the everyone in the District gathered in the Capitol for his funeral.
“Make way for the President!”
Stratsberg cocked the hammer back on a Derringer that rested in his coat. The President walked heavily on his cane, a seemingly easy target. He said nothing to the legislators in the room. Too many enemies perhaps, or just not enough friends. He limped along quietly through the rotunda.
Jackson stopped, not quite ten feet from Stratsberg. He aimed the flintlock at the wide eyed President and pulled the heavy trigger.
– click –
Heavy gasps echoed off the room’s round marble walls. Disbelief over somebody that would dare attempt to shoot the President. Stratsberg, surprised as everyone in the room, went for his other Derringer.
– click –
Jackson, now enraged. Walked as quickly as his 67 year old, cane supported stride would take him. He looked Strousberg in the eyes with a scowl that seemed all too permanent.
“You son of a bitch.”
– whack – – whack – – whack – – whack –
“Mr. President!, stop!” Stratsberg pleaded between gargled breaths.
Strangely enough, scores of legislators ran to the assassin’s aid. Too late for him, with blood pouring from his face due to Jackson’s well aimed blows with his cane.
—-
“I told you to start small. So you attempt to assassinate Andrew Jackson?” Larue asked between a squeaky giggle. He couldn’t contain his laughter while wiping the blood off Statsberg’s face.
“Fine, we do it your way.”
Previously The Junction
An off topic First. Because this isn’t about being on topic. It’s about letting everyone else know that they aren’t First.
I thought they told you to start small?
Technically ( the best kind) first, what with the on topic and all.
Your absence was as welcome as your shtick is tired.
Your opinion doesn’t matter.
It doesn’t matter.
I’m liking this series. Will it be a regular feature?
#MeToo
Those are some stylish pistols. Where’s the steaks?
Stratsberg/Strousberg?
The author said these were unfinished drafts and there may be a few “miscues” in the story.
Its also why the author asked to remain anonymous.
Cornelius didn’t need to march from Florida. He could have just taken a soul train.
?
A midnight train to Georgia?
Aww–you’re a real pip, GL.
I thought he was at the North Pole hanging with the elf dentist and the humble Bumble.
Ok, which glib staff is a history nut? Oh ya, all of them. Good stuff.
Can’t be UCS. There’s no mention of stylish gloves.
It’s the one with the sense of humor. The one who thinks it would be amusing to write about Jackson whacking someone with his stick.
And I might as well confess to being stuck on Samantha Fish.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qx7FDGpZQsQ
Damn right.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GL9rBAjut2g
Darn straight.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPWay64IgMc
Keep it straight
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JX9tDz4rwmE
Turn it up!
My sympathies.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sc5S1BxSD2w
Turn it up!
Give it loose!
Cover of a Nirvana song.
Sorry, inside joke.
Ted, there’s something different about your contribution. I can’t quite put my finger on what it is, precisely, but there is a difference.
My vote for the worst cover of War Pigs ever was by Faith No More.
Bitch on the Run.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHGKgKChPqA
I like this version.
Noting her quads, I say she should get a GlibFit mention.
Girl squats.
Yaaaaas sir! Love Samantha. I know I am a simple man, love the blues, and aint smart enough to appreciate jazz. Or jazz just sucks and those people are just pretending.
I saw her last year at the Troubador in Hollywood. She got jacked a little by being the first act, but it was still great. Was gonna see her again, this time as the headliner, but the covid zombie fest cancelled that show. Now, I gotta wait until the paranoia subsides and try again.
Of course it’s not me. The author’s voice is different, and I have yet to ask for anonymity.
But here’s a tell you can count on – I never use real people in my stories.
“Jean Lafitte.”
Nice hat. Not as good as mine but way better than others I have seen.
Isn’t Cap’n Crunch’s arch rival Jean Le Foot?
MAGA, bitches.
https://mobile.twitter.com/CAMO__17/status/1308194617247100931
Good on that guy.
I didn’t know you could trademark TONY.
For no particular reason –
The 17th of June
The 17th of June
How gauche of the East Germans to steal Iceland’s thunder like that.
I actually have a copy of this in German somewhere.
Interesting. Not familiar with him but his history seems… complicated.
Berlin books: https://m.soundcloud.com/velosonics/berlin-books
Berlin book
I like a little power pop – good stuff.
Have some new wave:
17 Berlin
Decent. ?
Strangely enough, scores of legislators ran to the assassin’s aid. Too late for him, with blood pouring from his face due to Jackson’s well aimed blows with his cane.
—-
“I told you to start small. So you attempt to assassinate Andrew Jackson?” Larue asked between a squeaky giggle. He couldn’t contain his laughter while wiping the blood off Statsberg’s face.
“Fine, we do it your way.”
This reminds me of trying to kill Hitler.
You mean……Kill Hitler?
Someone is reading the same Jackson bio I’m reading.
Gustave Lytton is “normal” Portland still putting up with BLM-Antifa?
https://twitter.com/MrAndyNgo/status/1307904437428482048
From what I can tell, yes.
My guess is it’s because most aren’t directly impacted, they strongly dislike Republicans and conservatives, and they support much or most of the underlying ideology.
What I haven’t seen
– marches of ordinary citizens against them
– denouncement by major business leaders & politicians
– media turning against them
Incredible. I’m assuming these residential protests aren’t happening in the Republucan part of town because there isn’t one. How are the people in the residential areas reacting?
?♂️ From some of the accounts, outright support from some neighborhood residents.
What I do notice is they’re somewhat organized in targeting. Police and other government locations (plus the police union & Wheeler’s condo) and very limited downtown. Unlike other cities, they aren’t confronting ordinary people dining. They aren’t going into working class neighborhoods, hipster/nouveau rich areas, or the old money neighborhoods. They also aren’t going out to the suburbs.
There goes my last bit of concern for Portland. If the residents support this thrn they can have it.
Sadly, most people are cowards. How many Glibs have confronted protestors? Never mind, let talk about guns and ammo some more.
You don’t know me very well. No “peaceful protesters” yet, but that’s only because they haven’t presented themselves. I’m the OG confronter, so I just might get crunched up by those fucks. You’ll see it in the news, If I end up in front of some. Quiet and allowing are not my way, when people’s rights are involved. I guess I’m that guy.
I’m being Debbie downer, but anyone other than someone batshit insane, wouldn’t publicly stand up to the mob either. No different than gang or organized crime controlled communities.
Twenty years ago there was a real problem with ecoterrorists. Part of the solution was that the political battles moves on, part was the ecoterrorists grew out of it, and a big part was the feds rolled up a bunch of them.
I think that’s what should happen here, and go after the money laundering apps, the people giving money knowing it will be used for criminal activity, and the groups aiding and abetting including the NLG (aside: I like to hear a wooden crack after the shrieking “what’s your name??” in the riot videos). Employers, particularly public employers, need to enforce their off duty misconduct policies against those participating in the riots. A lot of them are getting federal funds. Turn off the spigot. And fuck the liberal judges who enable this breakdown.
Exactly – and those that do stand up to the mob get indicted for murder. This is why we have a criminal justice system. The issue lies in the breakdown there, not in the ability of the average citizen to fight back.
I wonder if the Emmy’s will be on basic cable next year.
https://dailycaller.com/2020/09/21/emmy-awards-historic-low-rating-virtual-show-coronavirus/
What’nt no MAGA rally, that’s for sure!
I listened to NPR this morning on my drive to work and that was the best Emmy production in history and should be carried on through the years even if we don’t have the Vid.
To judge by the ratings, it looks most of the viewers are NPR listeners.
Kimmel – Oliver ICE gag sounded amusing enough from what I heard.
I might have mixed up TH yesterday with another dysphoric. Very reassuring, I’m sure.
I was happy to see SCTV alums Eugene Levy and Catherine O’Hara win best actor and best actress Emmys though. Well deserved and 40+ years late.
Anyone heard from TH today? Bro is in a dark spot. Been there, It scares me. Sorry I am lame, but people here mean something to me.
Haven’t seen him, and I’ve been looking, too.
I hope he talks to someone. Sooner than later.
I hope he gets some help.
You’re not lame, and I hope he is ok too. And all glibs who are hurting.
Haven’t seen him. TPTB may have his email, he has had some articles posted. Hoping they have heard something from him.
I missed something. What’s up with TH?
He posted what looks like a cry for help. Search for his handle.
Aw, man. Not good at all. One of my favorites, TH. Honestly hope he has someone to open up to.
Comment 18 on yesterday’s/Sunday’s glibfit post. TH talked about suicide.
Yup. It’s a very concerning comment.
2020 has been rough on everybody, I suspect especially for Glibs.
This is true. I have had a bunch of people open up to me about how distressed they are. It makes me sad and angry at the same time.
Very! But I feel much better now that I decided to get away for a while. I can wear a talismask to check in and out of hotels, and to buy food, and spend a week in a car with no news on the raidio or looking at mountains and woods. Least planned vacation ever. I decided to go a few hours back and leave Thursday morning. Not much planned other than I will hit Rapid City for at least one night to spend a buck or two in S. Dakota in tribute to our one remaining sane State governor.
If TPTB would be willing to send me his email, I can contact him and maybe he’ll let me go check up on him.
Where is he?
This is fucking crazy. Thanks, Mo.
Before Sunday, TH has mentioned that there is a place he can go (sometimes goes?) that is off-grid.
Good. I hope he is there.
I’ve had more than enough experience with this. I just wish people understood how many other people really loved them.
Ditto.
Kansas City, and I think I know generally what neighborhood he lives in. I also know where his pet municipality is. If he has another off grid, I don’t know about that.
Thanks Mojeaux.
Check your inbox
Thanks. ?
Mo of you need from afar support let me know. My handle at gmail
Hopefully just a bad night for TH and a good sleep helped.
I have his contact info through Patreon, but I don’t have my Patreon Log-in info with me on the trip. If no one has heard from him when I get home I’ll reach out.
Thanks. The only thing I can really do is email him and hope he responds.
We could go the ice cream truck route. Drive around the suspected neighborhood with a bullhorn/speaker asking him to check-in.
But not with “Turkey in the Straw.” It’s problematic.
That’s how he’ll know it’s us?
Now that you mention it, this site needs a theme song (if it doesn’t already have one). Any suggestions?
For Libertesian: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_jAVM0prVm4 ?
There’s been theme song discussion before, this is usually my suggestion https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xnJFPMcq5Is
I like both of those suggestions.
Mo, let me know if you want help reaching out to TH… We KC Glibs need to look out for each other!
Will do. I’m not sure I have your contact info. Email me? moriah at moriahjovan.com
Done!
I can probably get a welfare check done on him by his local LE, with his name/location and any other identifying info.
Of course, I wouldn’t blame others for not wanting to go that route, especially if there is a better alternative.
No, I strongly believe that would be a bad idea for various reasons.
I don’t doubt it. But, it’s how I’m trained/program to help.
?
D’awww…..
How you doin’?
/See, C–it’s not
pizzathat difficult.Oh, I can write it and say it in the sexiest way, I just can’t do the face.
Why am I suddenly hearing this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=di60NYGu03Y
I had to make that decision when my assistant didnt show up to work and all his emergency contact numbers didn’t work. I wretched with that decision to send LEO for welfare and I went with the Sheriff not our local PD. It all ended good but I was more worried about sending cops to his house rather than his welfare.
Considering TH’s preferred sleep aid, I think that would make whatever situation worse.
Agreed
Oh, trust me–I’ve been around (here and the job) long enough to know it’s not the best suggestion, especially for many glib brethren and sistren.
Also–surprised you got o make the choice between the two agencies–usually, it would just end up in a game of “Not our jurisdiction”.
<– FedGov. They actually wanted me to call FBI and I that was definitely not the route I wanted.
Yeeesh!
And, Mo: that thought was foremost in my mind when I was writing. If it were people I worked with, it might be one thing. But, a completely different state, to boot…yeah, see if you can work any magic on your side of things.
Damn, that sucks. It’s easy enough to get depressed in normal times, and these ones definitely ain’t normal. Hope you can get someone to talk to about it TH. Don’t give up.
Well crap.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Michael_Lonsdale
I loved his supporting role in Ronin.
Just fantastic.
Whichever one of you – or group of you – created this, I thank you.
Appendix carry FTW!
Darwin FTW!
We’re safe here, because only the rich and famous can get a permit. Most of us would go straight to prison if caught with a concealed weapon.
He doesn’t have one apparently, but the penalty doesn’t seem to be very steep.
It’s actually only a misdemeanor in California BJ. Now if you had a concealed knife that would be a felony.
I did not know that. It still would be too costly for me. Firearm related and I’d lose my clearances. Besides, I have yet to get a non traffic misdo and I’m keeping it that way.
I actually was arrested for concealed weapon once. My passenger had a .25 in his back pocket. I was shoved into the dirt face first and both of us went to the station. They never charged me and let me go a few hours later. It still shows up as “no disposition” when cops run my name. Explains why they have hassled me so much. I was about 20-21 at the time.
Yeah, it is not worth it, but kind of funny that a loaded gun on you r possession without a carry permit is only a misdemeanor while a knife would get you a felony. I had a buddy who had a concealed permit while living here in SF, but he got it from Sac Sheriff which is apparently not hard to get. Eventually he had to claim his address here and couldn’t renew it at his old one any longer.
The more you know! ?
BJ, what a colorful life you’ve had, since birth practically. Like Dave Chappelle’s “baby in the street” bit. “And the baby… did not look scared.”
“Hey, Baby! Go home; It’s 3 in the morning. man!”
“I’m selling weed, nigga!”
Move to Massachusetts, the land of the free. I can glide on my belly to Cambridge, MA, in the winter. A CCP on the first application. A citizen for fewer than four months at the time.
Until I figured out that I can carry in a pocket, nothing made any sense. I’ve tried them all, horrible.
“Mishap”
Ouch.
Trigger warning (because I care): TOS
1619 Project Author Nikole Hannah-Jones Now Says She Never Implied That Year Was America’s True Founding
Whatever.
Fuck off, grievance-monger.
C’mon, I find the whole firsting thing a bit desperate as well, but I don’t think he is a grievance monger.
Dyed red hair and a lithp: there’s a good look.
Appropriating some Celtic culture, it seems.
Seems like a hard slap in the face for her boosters.
Gauleiterin Whitmer on Michigan’s state of emergency
We have now passed the six-month mark of fighting an enemy like no other: an aggressive and deadly virus that has claimed more than 6,600 Michigan lives and nearly 200,000 American lives. That loss rivals the number of American lives lost in World War I, the Korean War and the Vietnam War combined.
During this time, America has been under a state of emergency. Michigan is no outlier. At this moment, all 50 states and the federal government have some form of declared emergency. But the mere passage of time raises questions: Will this emergency ever end? When? And how will we know?
In short, the emergency will end, and that end cannot come soon enough. While it would be irresponsible to forecast a date, it’s a matter of months.
I suspect the petition to strip her of emergency powers getting enough signatures to go to the legislature might have something to do with that editorial of hers.
Lamp.
Post.
TH, email me, willya? moriah at moriahjovan dot com
Better than Drunk History.
Bravo.
Before Drunk History was a thing, I shot some video for a youtube show I wanted to call Drunk Politics. The format I chose was have a sober person ask me questions on how my political philosophy would deal with certain problems. The failure point was that to try and make it interesting, I wanted to not know the questions before hand. The friend I had question me came up with terrible questions that only required short simple answers, so I didn’t pursue the concept after the initial filming.
You can write the questions, just make sure to get blitzed enough to forget them before filming. I’d watch it.
Seconded.
And Hi, Lady Z!!
Howdy!
I’m a seasoned drunk, by the time I forget something like that I’d be incomprehensible responding, Also, I don’t have anyone around enough to ask the questions anymore.Now adays streaming someone else in easy enough, but my schedule is so wonky it’ll make it hard to find anyone available during my drunk times,
::sigh::
Fine–send me general questions, and I’ll see what I can come up with.
The whole point was blind-siding me while I was drunk, as political conversations usually happen.
Sure–let me do aaaall the work. ?
“As the actress said to the bishop.”
Fisher-Price Releases ‘My First Peaceful Protest’ Playset With House You Can Actually Burn Down
September 21st, 2020
Umm, that link is kind of SFed
Just go to the Bee and search for it. Like this.
Thanks. I’m too lazy, but I should have guessed it was the Bee.
Huh. Sorry about that!
Thanks, blackjack.
Since I’m laid up at home with a maybe broken wheel, the kid and I made these string lantern balls. Wonder what kind of ? would work best inside.
https://ibb.co/sq2dHLG
Those are cute! A short strand of LED string lights coiled inside would work.
Alright. I’ll post a pic when I’m done.
Cool!
I like lights of all kinds: Fire in the hearth, sunset, Christmas lights, little LED strings, candles—you name it.
Have fun!
*Tries to do the Joey ‘How you doin?’ look, fails miserably and runs away*
*whispers, “you can do it.” try again*
Hi CP! Points for trying 🙂
I know stress can lead to exacerbations (not as dirty as it sounds to you other Glibs, I swear) I hope you’re doing well though ‘in these trying times’.
Thanks! I wish exacerbations were that much fun. I’ve been having my ups and downs but overall doing well.
*Omits dirty joke* The most badass one my dad had was when his entire left side stopped working while he was in Washington state, and drove the near 2000 miles back driving a semi, unable to use the clutch because it was on his left.
The ones they call “fairy lights” are small, battery powered, and somewhat poseable since they are on a wire.
https://www.amazon.com/ANJAYLIA-Battery-Operated-Waterproof-Christmas/dp/B07C7V4SL9/ref=mp_s_a_1_1_sspa?dchild=1&keywords=led+string+lights+battery+powered&qid=1600744985&sprefix=led+strin&sr=8-1-spons&psc=1&spLa=ZW5jcnlwdGVkUXVhbGlmaWVyPUEzVEk4NUdRUVZTSVYmZW5jcnlwdGVkSWQ9QTA3MTU4MDc2QjJSQVQ5Rkg5OUomZW5jcnlwdGVkQWRJZD1BMDA2OTAzOTI4OVQ5N1dFUlRLSiZ3aWRnZXROYW1lPXNwX3Bob25lX3NlYXJjaF9hdGYmYWN0aW9uPWNsaWNrUmVkaXJlY3QmZG9Ob3RMb2dDbGljaz10cnVl
Gah! Sorry for the huge link. Feel free to delete that, Glib Staff.
Tip with amazon links (assuming you don’t already know) you can cut everything from ref= to the end and just post the stuff before that and it will work. from ref= onwards contains information about how you got to the product and isn’t needed to share it.
Thanks.
I get the feeling I told you something you already knew.
Those would be perfect. A bit pricey, though, considering we’ve spent 300 yen so far.
Heh.
Didn’t you know that one of Straff’s side jobs is as a lantern gelder?
I do now!
They light up your sex life.
Go on….
No, really–go on….
it was a dark and stormy night
And Randy’s Lighting Rod was hard and ready to be electrified.
Go on…
(I was going for the random construction thing, but fine!) The rain poured down his rotund naked body. He had dropped his rubber duckey, but his rod was still stiff and hard as he watched the lighting dance above him.
‘Finally’, he thought, ‘I’ll show that bitch that I got balls’
He pulled out two 6 inch diameter brass balls affixed with with wind speed sensors,,,
The Rod and The Balls: A(n) H&H adventure
Hold on–I gotta get
adjustedcomfortable here, and….what?? This office chair isn’t meant for relaxing.Geesh….
Evil vs. evil–like our own bit of The Exorcist come true.
I saw the video yesterday. You know those fuckers would have beaten the dog if it got out of the car.
Yup. Guilt by association applies to pets.
They likely considered it an imperialist running dog.
An imperialistic ruining dog-faced pony soldier! They’re the worst.
The scale of the USA is something I think most Europeans can’t even Grok. I barely left my home state and I’ll have done near 1000 miles by the time my trip is done. I had a guy flip me off today, because my nearly 30 year old motorhome can’t corner well or do steep hills without losing speed on a road where passing is not permitted for most of it’s length because it is steep hills and corners.. That was enough of an offense for this guy to flip me off, I think he has anger issues.
Hey–slow is slow, ya know?
I have to empathize with the angry dude, having been stuck behind more than one RV over the years.
Though I’ve never flipped off the driver – I was too happy that I finally get to past them.
Oh, man–that’s the sweetest part! So cathartic to just let loo-er, uh….I mean, shame on that dude who flipped off C!
I did slow down at every passing opportunity for him, so he could safely pass me, probably pissed him off more, and he wasn’t even the driver, he was the passenger.
Probably had his license suspended for reckless driving.
People who drive slow should die in a fire.
I didn’t know Antifa drove slow!
I imagine Antifa members drive a Prius with Coexist and apple stickers on the rear window. Oh the irony.
Mostly, I wasn’t ‘driving slow’ but up more than a 30% grade even putting the peddle to floor doesn’t generate
muchany acceleration. It’s not like I was rubbing my hands together ‘Oh, I’ll slow this asshole behind me to a crawl! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!’Driving that would frustrate me. Being unable to accellerate uphill makes me worry that if I had to stop, I’d never be able to get going again in the correct direction.
But, in the end it is nothing more than a mobile
hotel roombar. I can drive and sight see for hours on end, then stop and get drunk in a place with good scenery.“I have nowhere to reach in a hurry”
“Good thing.”
At least it gets an eco-friendly 8mpg.
You know the song.
https://i.gifer.com/UxwO.gif
Would.
I’m beginning to suspect that the big ol” trucks in the California interstates are deliberately trying to squeeze my little car just because it’s a Tesla. The truck (say a big Ram or GMC) will be in the lane to my right, then speed up til they’re level with me, then scoot over toward me, crossing int my lane and forcing the car to take evasive maneuvers.
That’s just a suspicion. But it’s a documented fact that trucks will park sideways across 3 supercharger spaces just to be ICE-holes.
Hey, buddy—some freedom lovers drive Teslas too, ya know.
Proving that assholes can be found everywhere.
Yeah, there was one that had a Tesla in my county…Oh, that’s not…
Do you know your driving rules?
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/EiewcapU8AAlr3L?format=jpg&name=900×900
Car 2, then 3, then 1. Assuming anyone pays attention to a yield sign.
Bonus points for running over the most protesters.
But! how many are texting? Because they should compose their tweet before before turning.
In the Before Before Time….no, before that.
A relative’s intersection, mostly. “It’s as if they’ve known me all my life!”
Related: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=I7g08nwEmyY
Rising populations of wild hogs worrying experts, many deemed ‘super-pigs’: report
Anyone bet on super pigs for October?
This happened in our neighborhood a few months ago.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rVCttJAEYHI
This is in Japan? That can’t be right that hog should be 100 feet tall and shoots laser beams out of its tusks.
Video of straff taking on that boar
I’m blew not blue.
Calm your fury…
I dunno. Looking at your avatar hand, I’d say you blue yourself.
That may just deserve a kiss between the cheeks!
If not that maybe a nu start
Pugs in Space was one of my favorite Muppet sketch series.
Tee hee!
What the…?
Stupid autocorrect.
Pugs would likely have been amusing too.
They truly would. But, Pigs were good, too.
Maybe Superpigs are a step closer to Animal Farm…
Four years ago it was the Insane Clown Panic of fake news that suddenly died out after the election.
Insane Pork Posse.
Pugs in Space needs effecting immediately.
More Glibs anthem nominations: Taxman and Don’t Bother Me (do you gather a theme?).
Don’t to be much facetious in light of our missing brother.
Does anyone know if TH had said anything along the same lines prior to yesterday?
I can’t think of something specific. But I think he’s talked about similar states of mind before (as in his comment last night didn’t seem out of character or entirely out of the blue). I do recall him mentioning several weeks back that was considering going off-grid or taking a break (which he might have done at that time). My impression was that/ he implied that he had some contacts in alternative agriculture and he could spend some time on the farm.
Yeah, I recall some “off-grid” talk, although I don’t recall much about it. I don’t recall ever seeing him say he wanted to die, though.
Last night seemed specific and worry-some. The impression I formed previously was of general depression, frustration, and is any of this worth being around for.
Agreed. Not a “what’s the use?” kind of throwaway line—more specific and without mirth.
Hopefully time away helps him find a way to cope with what he’s got on his plate.
He said he was disappointed and angry with all of us because of our pro-Trumpism.
That was him…huh. I remember being caught off-guard by that.
Still, I hope that wasn’t enough to push him.
Huh. Think that’s really enough to do the trick? Maybe it was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
I don’t think anyone here is “Pro Trump” as much as they are anti leftist. And pro entertainment.
Well…. Someone responded that Trump is the most libertarian president since Coolidge (I’m not in the mood to look up to post). If he is feeling that anti-DTJ, or, thinking many of us are too pro, reading that might just cement his perception. That, of course, doesn’t answer whether or not his perception of us is the button in question.
Plus, he made the ‘outcry’ to us, so, it would seem he still finds us something of a refuge. I just hope he gets to an even keel and doesn’t do anything drastic.
Did this discussion happen sometime in the past week?
Yeah, I’m fairly confident is was last week. It was near the end of one of the post comments, I think.
thanks
Hey Broche, that was uncharacteristically helpful of you.
Although I have a slightly better haircut.
I have to return some video tapes.
FEED ME A KITTEN
I’m conflicted. On the one hand, I like you and think the joke is funny and I appreciate the attempt at lightening the mood.
On the other hand, I am worried for TH and I would like to say something mean to you like, “Take your axe and shove it up your ass.”
Eh. I’m just sharing a piece of information. He did in fact recently post a mini-rant where he expressed what seemed to be genuine anger at the people here over what he saw as Trump apologia. I don’t know what to make of his mood’s or mental state or what role that plays but when he posts about being gone until November, it seems relevant to me.
I apologize, I missed that discussion.
I gave him a “Trump is the most libertarian President since Coolidge” response. I was not intending any offense. That’s provação.
Sorry for Portuguese autocorrect. That was provocation.
Nobody gets that depressed over a bunch of idiots who aren’t smart enough to support (or hate) the right candidate. Even if this is the best place on the internet.
Whatever it is, it ain’t us. I love you guys, but there’s about a thousand things on the “what is important” list ahead of who you support for president. And that’s just the “items starting with the letter S” portion of the list.
Being down can give you a short fuse, making things hit harder than they should. It says a lot about this place that pretty much everyone offered what support they could. Being stuck on the other end of a message board is a pretty impotent place to be stuck… so there’s gonna be a lot of grasping at straws.
I’m gonna say my prayers and go to bed. I’ll be including our friend and everyone who’s vexed over what they could do differently, better or fix.
I think he has commented before implying suicide. He would also, a short time later, explain the feeling had passed, he didn’t mean it, etc. I’m paraphrasing but that’s the way I remember it.
Hmph…I don’t recall anything specific, which bothers me. Whatever is going on, I do hope he gets sorted out in a healthy way.
A woman who can hold her liquor
https://youtu.be/WbKbn9Gf6Vk
That woman’s gonna do prison time, eventually.
Either that, or, early ‘retirement’.
Early, like being 2am wasted at 11am?
Pine box o’clock….whenever that is.
I was going to make that comment. But Ive been there before….certainly wasnt driving tho’.
When you can’t figure out how to sit…. well, you are definitely too impaired to drive.
Talking about the depression of one of our brothers put me in the mood to share:
We lost my mom a year and a half back. My dad had to move into a senior home about a year ago. It was pretty rough on him, because he decided to move near my brother so he’d have some family nearby and had to leave his few remaining friends behind. He was getting by, making a few new friends… then covid.
They’ve been on lockdown this whole time. No visitors.
Then he got sick and needed surgery. Things went sideways. Lots of complications.
He made it through.. .but had to go to a rehab facility. Alone again. And no visitors.
Of course it affected him. He was pretty down before. Now he’s really depressed. He skips my calls most of the time, and when he does pick up he hustles me off the phone in a minute or so with some excuse or another.
And we can’t get to him.
I trick him into staying on the phone by bringing in one grandkid after another… one at a time. Oh.. she wants to show you her drawing! Hold on…
That sort of thing.
It must be terrible. He’s been basically alone in a room since this spring. No visitors. They bring food to the room. Can’t even visit with other patients. Just recently they started having meals in the dining hall in shifts and were allowing some trips out of the facility… then he got sick and that was the end of that.
There is a human face to all of this. My dad is one of those faces. He’s alone in his final years, and pretty isolated. Depression makes it more so – sort of a negative feedback loop.
The therapists say he is doing well and will be returning to his apartment soon. Hopefully this stupid virus subsides so we can go be a loud bunch of kids and bring him back to his normal self. He doesn’t have a lot of time left, best case… and this is certainly not the best case.
Anyway, I suppose the moral is, call your mom and dad.
I’m sorry for your dad, cyto. And for you. That’s rough and unfair.
Sorry Cyto, hope your dad’s recovery continues and you can visit him soon.
Hope your dad gets to see his grandkids in person before long. It’s astounding to me that more people can’t see the negatives of this whole ridiculous response.
Oh, but, DEATH. Death for everyone who comes in contact with the virus. Humans aren’t ready for something like this!!
Hey pet: I thought I had posted the other day how Medicare (that is, most facilities) had recently relaxed their visiting rules. And now of course I can’t find it. Grr.
https://www.cms.gov/newsroom/press-releases/cms-announces-new-guidance-safe-visitation-nursing-homes-during-covid-19-public-health-emergency
This?
Sorry Cyto.
That’s been the worst thing about this. All of the silent victims. Sorry for your troubles, Cyto.
It’s way too cold out for September in PA.
*goes outside and sprays freon into the atmosphere*
It is exactly freezing out here.
https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2020/09/rescue-underway-save-270-whales-stranded-australia-200922033645890.html
They should be careful, I heard whales are covid carriers.
“It’s not known why the whales beach themselves…”
It’s a cult.
Now that would be MY kind of party!
“We must return to the land.”
Thats essentially what Ive always taken from that. They’re trying to get to land for some reason or other.
https://www.wfmz.com/news/area/pennsylvania/wolf-vetoes-school-sports-bill-house-will-try-to-override-veto/article_78056338-fc4e-11ea-83da-236a07244399.html
I don’t have enough curse words in my vocabulary for this cumstain.
-Dicksnap
-Fuckhole
-Donkey raping shit eater
-Ass spelunker
-Politician
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7WAxy6r7U4
Also–here’s hoping he gets a boil on his Semprini
Sweet Jesus the comments, well some of them anyway. We need a national divorce so we can have a place for people like us and a place for the Karens.
They can have Puerto Rico. After the hurricanes, there’s nothing there. They’ll have something to do with their time building shelters for themselves.
So we get Rhode Island?
I’d take that deal if we could have a couple of dozen nukes to prevent invasion. There’s nothing that pleases those types more than trying to impose their will on someone else.
No.
Not deal which leaves them in control of any american soil.
NYT stealth editing the 1619 Project:
https://www.zerohedge.com/political/down-1619-projects-memory-hole
Who controls the present controls the past, too bad the internet archive exists (but they’re working on that though).
From the 1619 “historian’s” Twitter bio: “AKA The Beyonce of Journalism”
Huh??
Light skinned black lady married to a former crack dealer? I don’t get it either…
Are you saying that we shouldn’t put a ring on it or pay her automo-bills? 😉
Kane Lives?
Oh, just great. There was a shooting at some apartments about three blocks from my house. That cabin in the woods is sounding better all the time.
mornin’ pimp-juice!
I saw that on the news, too.
Mornin’, Homey.
Time to take New Cat to the vet for his neutering.
You’re supposed to pronounce it at his “tutoring” if he is within ear-shot. Just a friendly heads up.
Mornin’ sanity check!
/taps mic
Testing 1… 2… Testing.
I must have succeeded on my SAN roll.
Hey Neph!
I thought he got the ‘unkindest cut’ last week?
I really should pay better attention…these overnights are killing me. How can a guy get a ‘day’ off when he works all night?
Festus? l0b0t? Your thoughts, if any.
You just have to roll with it. Fighting the hours will exhaust you in no time. It’s not bad for me because we don’t have kids around anymore but when I was young, third shift was brutal. Get used to drinking in the morning and sleeping past noon. It alsohelps that I don’t have any semblance of a social life.
Mornin’ Tres! You’re a cool cat too.
Domestic, probably.
Doesn’t really count as scary.
Mornin’ GT!
Music.
Any word yet regarding TH? That shit ain’t good. Hope he was just a little too much in his cups that day. Some of us are prone to that sort of ideation and maybe he feels some embarrassment. I certainly do when I go off like that. In any case, good vibes to TH and everyone here that was willing to extend the hand. What a special place this is.