About The Author

CPRM

CPRM

Organic troll farmer.

280 Comments

  1. dbleagle

    Huzzaah! Peaceful protest in Donald’s lair.

  2. The Hyperbole

    Should some one go check on Brotard, also greta job CPRM, Is the Elvis painting new or have I been distracted by the truck mud flap girl?

    • juris imprudent

      greta job? OMWC will be pissed.

      • The Hyperbole

        It’s a greta typo, also I should apologize to Brochettwad (or however you spell it) I shouldn’t have called him “brotard”, that was beneath me. I blame drinbking since lunch.

      • Gender Traitor

        Just throw in a couple of apostrophes – one on each side of the “t” – and you’ve covered your ass. Ted’S would approve.

    • dbleagle

      Just work in the truck hitch testicles on the wall as well and Donald will hit the trifecta.

  3. Sean

    ???

  4. Aloysious

    I fully expected the Hair to sprout long noodley arms and legs as it leaped from the Donalds head, catching the Hat with a flying clothesline before landing in a heap on the floor. What’s a little peaceful wrestling amongst friends.

  5. KibbledKristen

    OH YAS…gotta get myself settled with a beverage for this

    • Sean

      My liver texted me today that I need to ease up a bit more. ?

      • But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

        Mine too. I told it to shut the Hell up and suck back that Tylenol I just gave it.

        Damn slacker.

      • Count Potato

        NAC can protect your liver from tylenol.

      • Rhywun

        *takes notes*

      • westernsloper

        *DDG’s NAC, reads side effects* ya, no thanks.

      • Rhywun

        I do carefully balance my intake of booze and Tylenol, so I should be good ?

      • Count Potato

        Never noticed any side effects.

      • Sean

        Heh. ?

      • Mojeaux

        You guys are so cute with your liquor.

        *hides massive Tylenol PM habit*

      • commodious spittoon

        Nothing like sinking 200mg of Benadryl after slugging back half a bottle of Bacardi.

      • Mojeaux

        ‘Bout right, but sans alcohol.

        Benadryl by itself doesn’t knock me out,thus the Tylenol to go with it.

      • TARDIS

        Tylenol with booze is no Bueno.

  6. westernsloper

    “you sound as dumb as a POW”….*chokes on drink*

    The worst place to go is the best place you probably shouldn’t go but go anyways. How many hours of Trump audio did you go through to find those sound bites for conversation CPRM? Good work.

    • KibbledKristen

      How many hours of Trump audio did you go through

      CPRM deserves the Nobel for that

      • westernsloper

        I don’t know about the Nobel, but I would buy him a beer.

      • Count Potato

        It’s more than Obama did.

  7. Gadfly

    Shout-out from the Space Hat! Best Patreon reward ever.

    Also, great episode.

    “Sociopathy isn’t compassion” got a legit LOL from me.

    • DEG

      “Sociopathy isn’t compassion” got a legit LOL from me.

      #metoo

  8. LemonGrenade

    Just finished dinner, and this was an excellent dessert. Thanks, CPRM.

  9. KibbledKristen

    HAHAHAHAHA…end sounded like a cliffhanger…?

    • Rhywun

      Give this a caption

      “Smoke, smoke, smoke?”

  10. DEG

    Velvet Elvis? Reference to Graceland getting vandalized?

    Bomb Persia – just save all the hot women first please.

    • juris imprudent

      Oh man, you ain’t lyin’ – one of the grad students in my program (lo’ those many years ago) was Iranian and as smoking hot as she was smart. She was also married, as was I. [sigh] It never hurt to look though.

  11. Tundra

    “Are we gonna kill some Persians?”

    LOL!

    Great episode, CPRM!

    • dbleagle

      That line got a sensible chuckle here. (I’m still working.)

  12. Crusty Juggler

    For the better part of my adult life, every move I’ve made, every relationship I’ve formed, has been rooted in the napalm toxic soil of lies.

    Not just any lies.

    To an escalating degree over my adult life, I have eschewed my lived experience as a white Jewish child in suburban Kansas City under various assumed identities within a Blackness that I had no right to claim: first North African Blackness, then US rooted Blackness, then Caribbean rooted Bronx Blackness. I have not only claimed these identities as my own when I had absolutely no right to do so — when doing so is the very epitome of violence, of thievery and appropriation, of the myriad ways in which non-Black people continue to use and abuse Black identities and cultures — but I have formed intimate relationships with loving, compassionate people who have trusted and cared for me when I have deserved neither trust nor caring. People have fought together with me and have fought for me, and my continued appropriation of a Black Caribbean identity is not only, in the starkest terms, wrong — unethical, immoral, anti-Black, colonial — but it means that every step I’ve taken has gaslighted those whom I love.

    Furthermore, if you’re ass is a busta 213 will regulate.

    • Derpetologist

      I love that song. I got my platoon in basic to chant “full magazine and one in the hole, regulators gonna make some bodies turn cold”. Regulators is a fairly common platoon name. It’s an old west term for bounty hunter.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1plPyJdXKIY

      • Crusty Juggler

        Yeah, they stole the line from one of the most historically westerns ever made, “Young Guns.”

        Mount up.

      • Derpetologist

        Truly, there is nothing new under the sun.

        And don’t get me started about Romeo and Juliet. Total rip-off of West Side Story.

    • blackjack

      It’s okay, for my whole life, I’ve been pretending I’m normal. It’s only because of people like her that I’ve regained a sense of pride in not being normal and stopped the facade.

      • Derpetologist

        “To be nobody but
        yourself in a world
        which is doing its best day and night to make you like
        everybody else means to fight the hardest battle
        which any human being can fight and never stop fighting.”

        ― e.e. cummings

        can confirm

    • Derpetologist

      I now see what you referenced: https://www.foxnews.com/us/white-gw-university-professor-resigns-pretended-to-be-black

      ***
      Jessica Krug, a 38-year-old African history professor at GWU, was pulled from teaching duties amid calls for her to step down after she admitted to lying about her race in a Medium blog post on Sept. 3.

      Krug, who is actually White and Jewish, said she had over the course of her adult life, “assumed identities within a Blackness that I had no right to claim: first North African Blackness, then US rooted Blackness, then Caribbean rooted Bronx Blackness.”

      “I am not a culture vulture. I am a culture leech,” she said.
      ***

      Ah, Krug. That’s a black name for sure.

      • Rhywun

        Lifts Krug ?

      • Crusty Juggler

        You should try to find her speaking – her accent is insulting to people of every color.

        It’s hilarious.

      • Derpetologist

        I accept the challenge.

        And done: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMTeVLOK2qc

        I don’t anything noteworthy about the accent. Sounds very Midwestern to me. The mannerisms though…

      • Derpetologist

        comment gold: She owns the third finest dashiki collection in the diaspora, only bested by Jane Elliott and Tim Wise

        Dear god, I found one from her Puerto Rican phase: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n40wEIFtImU

      • KibbledKristen

        These people have waaaaaay too much time on their hands.

        It’s the catch-22 of a prosperous society

      • Crusty Juggler

        I was referring to this one.

        Give it the whole minute – it gets funnier.

        People be racist af

      • commodious spittoon

        I could almost feel sorry that someone with such apparent devotion to and affection for the culture she embraced is forcing herself to repudiate it… except she discarded that culture for the rank leftist cancer that is racialist retardation. She might have insisted on it, fought for it, made her appeals, even if they fell on deaf ears, but instead she chose cancerous leftist groupthink. So go hang yourself with that noose you wove, idiot.

      • C. Anacreon

        If you can claim to be one of 76 genders, why can’t you claim to be another race?

      • commodious spittoon

        Exactly. Rachel Dolezal, except for the abject racialism and grievance posturing*, did nothing wrong.

        *Yes, yes, other than that how was the play Mrs. Lincoln

      • R C Dean

        What’s the problem? So she was assigned White Jewish at birth. Who says she can’t identify as any flavor of Blackness she wants? Race and ethnicity is just a social construct, right?

    • westernsloper

      That is the first pic of Becki I’ve seen because I was kind of “who cares, another lying preacher”, and now I wish Jerry had sent nude photos of her to me.

    • OBJ FRANKELSON

      Ostrich is asshoe, it is known. They are essentially giant geese. Although, I would be inclined to kick the ass of somebody who jumped on my back too.

  13. Count Potato

    SPACE HAT!!

    • Sean

      It’s like a Stan Lee cameo.

  14. one true athena

    It’s always a great day when there are two Hat n Hairs of the spoken and animated kinds!

    and I have to echo the SPACE HAT!!! excitement.

    • Fatty Bolger

      And he’s bragging about it! Monster!

    • But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

      That’s the Jerry Falwell link again, d00d.

      Are we sure Crusty and Browad are two different people?

      • westernsloper

        I’m pretty sure Crusty is way more than one other person.

  15. OBJ FRANKELSON

    I dig the velvet Elvis and trucker mudflap lady on the wall of the Oval Office it makes the scene for me.

    Well done!

    • blackjack

      It’s Trump orange here and raining ash every once in awhile. They’re repaving our already nice streets again, and ignoring the beat up crap a mile down the road. I’d be happy, but I have to drive down that mile all the time.

      • Sean

        Crazy.

      • C. Anacreon

        Same. And the smoke so blocked the sun that today’s high temperature ended up being over 20 degrees below the forecast. Mid 60s instead of high 80s.

        When I drove my car this morning it was covered with a half inch of ash.

        People on NextDoor are posting local photos of the landscape, brown skies and pink sun with the caption “welcome to Mars”.

  16. LCDR_Fish

    Random question for the folks buying ammo (at this moment) – when stockpiling, do you prefer to go for defensive ammo or just ammo in general? Fenixammo.com does have some .45 in stock, but they’ve only got the 250 round packs available currently.

    • kinnath

      I have only been buying FMJ at this point. But a year ago Target Sport USA had a ridiculous deal on Speed Gold Dot and I ordered a full case. So, I have 1500ish rounds of Speer Gold Dot 9MM in house.

      All the .203/5.56 and .308/7.62 that I have been able to get this year are all FMJ.

      • EvilSheldon

        That was a good deal, wasn’t it? I’m swimming in Gold Dots, myself.

      • kinnath

        Yes it was.

    • westernsloper

      Any ammo is “defensive ammo”.

      • Derpetologist

        Ah, lead. The other precious metal.

      • juris imprudent

        Yep, I’ve always laughed at people with gold coins, etc. for the apocalypse. I will be able to get a LOT more with lead than you can with that.

      • R C Dean

        My precious metal portfolio is . . . diversified. I’ll trade lead 1 for 1.

      • westernsloper

        I should add, if need be.

    • Sean

      Buy it cheap. Stack it deep. All flavors.

      Current market sucks balls.

      “I will not panic buy at silly prices.”

      *lounges on throne of ammo cans*

      • UnCivilServant

        Those cans are empty, aren’t they?

      • Sean

        Nope, and I need moar cans.

      • UnCivilServant

        So I am right. They are empty, and you sit upon a throne of lies.

      • Sean

        Not empty and you need moar coffee. ☕

    • DEG

      I’ve been buying stuff I plan to shoot.

      I tried some Federal HST in my CZs and liked it, so the last time I bought 9mm that’s what I bought.

      I stick with FMJ for my .45.

      I bought more XM855 5.56 NATO for my Tavor.

      My other rifles are surplus, so whatever comes closest to what they were made for if I can’t find decent surplus.

    • EvilSheldon

      Right now, if I didn’t already have a large supply of ammo and reloading components laid in, I’d take whatever I could get.

      I’d say that a reasonable ammo stockpile would contain enough defensive ammo to test-fire in your work guns, and to get you through a reasonable defensive use, and enough practice ammo for a couple of years of sustainment training. Anything above and beyond that should be used for practice, right now. Ammo without skill is someone else’s loot drop.

    • Homple

      …or tragedy or satire either.

    • BakedPenguin

      I like how the fist in their logo was fat.

      Also, good work CPRM & (earlier) SF.

      If I’d remembered it was H&H day, I wouldn’t have hurried to finish the thing I was working on earlier today.

  17. Derpetologist

    https://www.foxnews.com/politics/biden-botches-military-coronavirus-death-count-accidently-cited-michigan

    ***
    Speaking in Warren, Mich., Biden cited the number of confirmed cases and deaths from COVID-19 in Michigan as being the numbers for the military, saying the armed forces had seen 118,984 cases and 6,114 deaths.

    Shortly after the event, Biden’s campaign quickly clarified that Biden had mixed up the numbers for Michigan with those from military. As of Wednesday, only seven members of the military had died from COVID-19.

    “Vice President Biden has the utmost respect for the men and women of the armed services and believes it’s the sacred duty of our country to properly equip them, look after their families when they’re deployed, and care for them when they return,” Biden’s Deputy Rapid Response Director Michael Gwin said in a statement to Fox News.
    ***

    Good save, Michael. Your boss would promote you if he could remember your name.

    • Derpetologist

      oops, I forgot the money shot

      ***
      Gwin added: “To honor their service, the Vice President carries with him each day a card detailing the number of Americans who have given their lives for our country in Iraq and Afghanistan, and frequently cites that number to recognize their sacrifice.”

      Biden has taken criticism before for confusing statistics when it comes to the coronavirus pandemic.

      In June, Biden incorrectly said 120 million people had died from the contagion in the U.S.
      ***

      • Fourscore

        They were all from North Dakota, that’s why why there are few people still alive over there.

    • LCDR_Fish

      The 7 includes guard and reserve

    • Gdragon

      I mean this kind of shit happens, just last week i asked my buddy how old his daughter is and he said “she’s gonna be 6,114 in October”

    • blackjack

      That’s a fairly common yard sign around here, at least for the last 6 months or so. It’s missing: ” Hate has no place here.” Which makes me wonder how i’d be received if i strolled up on a MAGA hat.

      • DEG

        You’d be received hatefully because THAT’S DIFFERENT!!!11!!1!1!!

      • hayeksplosives

        His presence would be literal violence so extreme retaliation is justified in their minds.

        For the greater good.

    • The Hyperbole

      What’s the problem?

      the tautology or the mising “s”

      • westernsloper

        I’m going with the mising.

      • Gdragon

        I thought it was supposed to be “kidneys”

    • Derpetologist

      ***
      Havel’s greengrocer

      Havel uses the example of a greengrocer who displays in his shop the sign Workers of the world, unite!. Since failure to display the sign could be seen as disloyalty, he displays it and the sign becomes not a symbol of his enthusiasm for the regime, but a symbol of both his submission to it and humiliation by it. Havel returns repeatedly to this motif to show the contradictions between the “intentions of life” and the “intentions of systems”, i.e. between the individual and the state, in a totalitarian society.

      An individual living within such a system must live a lie, to hide that which he truly believes and desires, and to do that which he must do to be left in peace and to survive. This is comparable to the classical tale of “The Emperor’s New Clothes.”

      …they must live within a lie. They need not accept the lie. It is enough for them to have accepted their life with it and in it. For by this very fact, individuals confirm the system, fulfill the system, make the system, are the system.
      ***

      • blackjack

        They need not accept the lie. It is enough for them to have accepted their life with it and in it

        No, the mere uttering is not enough! They have to believe it. The suffering will not stop until we know that they actually believe that 2+2=5.

      • Derpetologist

        It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it goes to sensitivity training again.

  18. CPRM

    I gotta get ready for work, I noticed several people finally notice the velvet Elvis, it’s been there the whole time, to clear that up.

    • Rhywun

      Like we read the links watch the videos

    • DEG

      it’s been there the whole time, to clear that up.

      Oops.

  19. DEG

    Some Lil Rona Panic International Travel restrictions might end soon

    The US government is set to end enhanced screening of some international passengers for COVID-19 and drop requirements that travelers coming from the targeted countries arrive at 15 designated US airports, according to US and airline officials and a government document seen by Reuters.

    The changes are set to take effect as early as Monday, according to the draft rollout plan seen by Reuters, but the move could still be delayed, US officials said.

  20. KibbledKristen

    Phil Liggett should play-by-play every sport

    • RAHeinlein

      Paul’s passing still gives me a sad – although enjoying Bob.

  21. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

    I can’t remember if I learned this in school or not, but it blew my mind today…

    Kirchoff’s Law is only a corner case of Faraday’s Law, meaning that in some circumstances, the voltage between two points in a circuit depends on the path you take to get there. ?

    • blackjack

      They taught us that at my school, but it was met with some resistance.

    • Don escaped Duopoly

      So the “flux rule” that the emf in a circuit is equal to the rate of change of the magnetic flux through the circuit applies whether the flux changes because the field changes or because the circuit moves (or both) …

      Yet in our explanation of the rule we have used two completely distinct laws for the two cases – v × B for “circuit moves” and ∇ × E = −∂tB for “field changes”.

      We know of no other place in physics where such a simple and accurate general principle requires for its real understanding an analysis in terms of two different phenomena.

      — Richard P. Feynman, The Feynman Lectures on Physics

      Maybe so. I’d still rather shoot a machine gun through a propeller than design an integrated circuit.

    • Derpetologist

      This is one of my favorite science, wtf? factoids:

      ***
      The Mpemba effect is a process in which hot water can freeze faster than cold water. The phenomenon is temperature-dependent. There is disagreement about the parameters required to produce the effect and about its theoretical basis[1][2].

      The Mpemba effect is named after Tanzanian schoolboy Erasto Bartholomeo Mpemba (born 1950) who discovered it in 1963. There were preceding ancient accounts of similar phenomena, but these lacked sufficient detail to attempt verification.
      ***

      https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mpemba_effect

      I know this because I once read through a list of Tanzanian scientists on a lark.

      • Don escaped Duopoly

        For this to be true, at some point there must be two identical containers at identical conditions (including, of course, at the same temperature), one of which has some property that is different from the other. At least for an instant, the samples are identical, but we are told they are different.

        I doubt that occurs; I expect this is all explained by boundary conditions and actual differences in properties that elude excellent measurement. If I’m right, the larger the containers, the harder it is to detect any difference.

      • Not Adahn

        It does occur, but:

        1. The samples need to start off the same mass.
        2. The container needs to be insulating.

        2) means that the cooling occurs primarily at the air/water interface.
        1) means that when the hot sample has matched the temperature of the cold sample, it will have evaporated more so it requires less heat transfer to freeze than the cold sample.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I ran across something akin to this recently. I think it was about exhaust pressures in a rocket engine. In some designs, if you overpressurize the exhaust, the nozzle actually collapses inwards.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        My mind is still nagging at me that it was a thermal thing I was thinking of, not a pressure thing. ?‍♂️

      • straffinrun

        Must’ve been a damn big lark.

  22. juris imprudent

    I got rabbit-holed on In Defense of Looting and ended up through the looking glass. Enjoy.

    • But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

      Yeah, I speed-read through it, and bailed at the first comment.

      Hating you just a little bit right now, d00d.

      • juris imprudent

        Exactly the appreciation I was hoping for!

    • Hyperion

      I got your defense of looting.

      First of all, I respect your right to loot. See how woke I am?

      Now, I’m a make you more woke by shooting you in the fucking face. Any questions?

    • Mojeaux

      Good heavens, that was painful.

    • straffinrun

      Basically, let’s embrace terrorism to further our political goals, but don’t burn libraries.

  23. Hyperion

    WTF? I was thinking maybe a Space Smith article. Or maybe a Space Hat article.

    Let me be clear, everything is about fucking space!

    And what was this? The HAT turns into a an antifa pussy and Space Hat is talking about some Tulpa named Kilbbles?

    WTF? I want a refund! You didn’t even know Sonny Barger, you fags!

  24. Gender Traitor

    Is it a bad sign that at first I thought The Hat was saying, “We can be compassionate Jews!”

    “Are we gonna kill some Persians?…..Pussy!” I don’t know if you saw what you did there, but I did.

    Bravo!

  25. straffinrun

    Nice work, CpRm. Had to wear a mask all morning and it’s giving me a low grade headache. Ease the pain.

    Also, has anyone ever won a Nobel prize and then torched the committee in their acceptance speech? If not, that is way over due.

    • Digby's Patented Booty Sweat

      Obama “won” one, and their credibility was torched*, if that counts…

      *yeah yeah–I’m sure there are plenty before his

      • hayeksplosives

        Arafat. Al Gore (for “inconvenient Truth”).

      • Chafed

        There were but his was egregious.

    • straffinrun

      That guy doesn’t want to get into a contest over who has the more punchable face.

  26. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

    I put together my lesson plan for my constitution day lecture (to high school kids). Topic is “who does the bill of rights apply to?”.

    First, I cover the philosophical underpinnings. Cicero, Augustine, Aquinas, Luther, Hobbes, and Locke. (Could’ve picked dozens of alternatives, but I wanted to hit on equality under the law, justice as a foundation of legitimate governance, innate human dignity and natural law, freedom of conscience, the state of nature, and natural rights, respectively)

    Then I get into the Declaration, the BoR itself, and the Antifederalist papers, showing the intent of the founders to affirm universal truths.

    Then I go through a set of SCOTUS cases where they fuck everything up by limiting the BoR from applying to certain people. Korematsu, Buck, Einstrager (German POW), and Frederick (“bong hits 4 Jesus” kid).

    I think I’ll be giving these kids as much of a chance as possible to see that the country hasn’t quite lived up to the promise of the BoR.

    • straffinrun

      Through in some Machiavelli. Not kidding.

    • straffinrun

      They seem like nice ladies.

    • Chafed

      I can’t stand hate crime laws. But, if we’re going to have them, this is going to happen.

    • TARDIS

      Never heard of the crime, “offensive touching”. I guess that’s like “not quite assault”. You get 1.5 hours of community service for that.

      • Tejicano

        I thought that was a penalty in soccer.

    • But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

      Omurice. Soft, pillowy yumminess that you can put in your mouth.

      You’re welcome.

      • Chafed

        And then there’s the food.

    • PieInTheSky

      they could put some writing instead of those squiggly things to better understand what is happening.

      • PieInTheSky

        also ketchup on an omelet is disgusting

      • PieInTheSky

        I know this guy. I liked it better when he made omelet separately and dumped it on the rice

    • Gustave Lytton

      Waiting for the ppv spinoff, kuma f***ing.

      • Chafed

        I like the cut of your jib.

      • Chafed

        I’m not sure but my pants are getting tight.

  27. straffinrun

    Just went into an office building and they had a camera and monitor set up in the lobby. As you walk past, it puts a square around your face, tells you your temperature and will remind you to put on your mask if you aren’t wearing one. Creepy.

      • straffinrun

        Something out of Total Recall airport scene.

      • hayeksplosives

        I was thinking Robocop, where the early model doesn’t recognize that the “perp” has put down his weapon. Robot keeps counting down how many seconds he has to comply. Ends up ventilating the guy pretty thoroughly.

        “You aren’t wearing a mask. Please put on a mask. You have ten seconds to comply.”

    • Gustave Lytton

      Does it have one of those squeaky female voices?

      • straffinrun

        My bad. It put your temperature on the screen above your head and tracked with you as you walk.

      • Digby's Patented Booty Sweat

        So, you can’t scope out the “hotties” w/o it selling you out…total Chad move.

    • Tejicano

      I’m so tempted to hold a piece of ice against my forehead until just before coming up the point where they can see me then see their reaction to the Gaijin with the 22C body temp.

      • salted earth

        I have to take my temp at home before I go to work. The other day I had a popsicle, then took my temp. It was 94.4. I tend to run low anyway or my thermometer is broken. So I guess I could have the COVID and not know it.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Do you have bangs? If so, that might be why.

      • salted earth

        No bangs. I’m not using a forehead thermometer. (Trying desperately to avoid phrasing.) I do tend to run cold.

      • hayeksplosives

        I believe that the consensus is that Mrs Fahrenheit was.running warm when Mr F took her temperature and called it “100 degrees”.

        How the “community “

      • hayeksplosives

        …how and when the community of doctors Settled on 98.6 is beyond me. I will probably go down an Internet rabbit hole finding out.

        Anyway, lots of people seem to run cooler. I’m usually 97.4.

        Whatever.

      • I'm Here To Help

        I also run cooler – I’m generally around 97.6, and have only had a fever of over 100 two or three times in my life (strangely, the last time was this past February when I had a fever, body aches, and a cough, but was told by the “experts” that there was no way I had the COVID because I hadn’t travelled to China or Italy).

        Wife is just the opposite. Her normal is around 99.5…

      • Gdragon

        98.6 is also a round number (37 degrees) in Celsius, I don’t know the history at all but I’d guess that was a factor in its selection.

      • R C Dean

        *zombie confirmed*

        *deploys HeadShot 223 Zombie Neutralizer*

      • salted earth

        Thinks about it, makes sense, proceed.

      • TARDIS

        I want to do the opposite and put a heating pad on the side of my face right before pulling through the gate at work.105.4??? Gah! Run away, run away!

    • PieInTheSky

      We had that in our office a while. My manager walked in and was told he was dead based on the 33 C temperature reading

      • salted earth

        Who’s going to make the vampire joke?

      • Plinker762

        Or a biting comment.

      • salted earth

        nice

      • Tejicano

        I was just going to hang around and wait

      • salted earth

        If I was Pie, I would fly off the handle, but he just sucks it up.

    • Digby's Patented Booty Sweat

      Well….if this actually interested you*, there are plenty a few of us Metroplex glibs you can mingle with before/after getting your rodeo on.

      *I understand–just saying if it was something near and dear to your heart

      • salted earth

        Are you buying dinner?

      • R C Dean

        Maybe. What’s your end?

      • Tres Cool

        Steaks, I would hope

      • salted earth

        Not Cool Tres, meat is murder.

      • Playa Manhattan

        Go on.

      • salted earth

        For that, I may make the drive.

      • Digby's Patented Booty Sweat

        https://www.laharanch.com/location_info/frisco-menus/

        The combo fajitas–::mwah!::

        Considering the spousal unit’s pickiness over beef, these are THE BEST fajitas I’ve encountered anywhere. Even when something is off (i.e. over-cooked a smidge, smaller portion, fewer bell peppers), which is rare, they are still the best.

        /I think the secret is the cut of beef..sirloin, maybe. Definitely NOT skirt

      • Digby's Patented Booty Sweat

        Just for reference–the fajita feast was the meal for the families meeting upon engagement. Her parents came from OK just to have them.

      • salted earth

        Dermatologists do something similar to people, microneedling. It makes you prettier.

      • salted earth

        A really long drive?

      • salted earth

        A really long drive?

    • Chafed

      I would think Las Vegas would be in open revolt over these restrictions.

  28. TARDIS

    “you guys are so juvenile”

    And?

    Nice job, CPRM.

  29. KSuellington

    First week of full homeschool has worked well. There is a huge opportunity here for those who don’t like the present way of schooling kids. We have a major shake up going on in education. While everyone is on zoom I think there are other ways.

    • PieInTheSky

      First week of full homeschool has worked well. – what did you learn?

      • hayeksplosives

        One of us! One of us!

    • Tejicano

      When I see all these teachers protesting about having to go back to work (while I’m scrambling trying to get my work back up and running, grr…) – and all the while I’m hearing about people with kids finding new ways to educate their kids – I’m wondering if there are going to be that many jobs for teachers once this pan(dem)ic is over. Of course I expect the schools will pretty much bring all the teachers back in at their old positions but after a semester or two, or after the end of the first full school year, I expect there will be some downsizing.

  30. Sean

    My liver is happier, but I didn’t sleep well. ?

    The news looks…normal. Let’s try music links again.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Va75GaPv5jY

    Great band, video telling a story, but YouTube showed me a Biden commercial first. ?

  31. Festus' Mustache

    Any Night-jars about? Our Province is dealing with the gigantic undermining of the Economy by throwing a shit-load of shovels into the pit. Just keep digging, there’s soon to be rich vein of Chinese gold to be had!

    • Gender Traitor

      What’s a “Night-jar”? Is that a Canadian thing?

      • UnCivilServant

        *shrug* it’s a turn of phrase I’m unfamiliar with.

      • Festus' Mustache

        Lost my link-fu but look below.

    • PieInTheSky

      look you don’t know if you don’t try

  32. Gender Traitor

    Color my cynical, but I suspect there are those in the greater Dayton, Ohio, area who are itching for an excuse to get in on that hot “peaceful protest” action (which so far – knock wood – has failed to materialize in this fair city.)

    • Sean

      Yeah…I’m not seeing any issues there.

    • Nephilium

      I have the feeling it would go about as well as it did up here in Cleveland. One “peaceful protest”, then people showing up armed to protect their businesses anytime there was a rally/protest scheduled within a couple of blocks.

    • Festus' Mustache

      Disney Is The Enemy? Do I win a prize? Never mind, I’ll just keep ignoring them.

  33. Festus' Mustache

    It’s a kind of bird. AKA Nighthawk. Pretty common everywhere. I like to call them bird-bats because they feast on moths. I read Nightjar some time long ago and the term just got stuck in my mind. Trivia is one of my weaknesses.

    • Gender Traitor

      You read the term? Or was it this book?

      • Festus' Mustache

        Predates that book by decades.

    • PieInTheSky

      Nebraska’s state nickname was once the “Bugeater State” and its people were known as “bugeaters” (likely named after the Common nighthawk).[11][12][1] The Nebraska Cornhuskers college athletic teams were also briefly known the Bugeaters, before adopting their current name, which was also adopted by the state as a whole. A semi-professional soccer team in Nebraska now uses the Bugeaters moniker.

      • Festus' Mustache

        The (real) football team should have stuck with that moniker. “Bugeaters” is that kid that would do anything on a dare, therefore the name denotes courage, fortitude, insanity and just about every proclivity of a young hale and hearty boy! “Cornhuskers” are the women sitting around the kitchen table, gossiping.

  34. Fifth Knight of the Derp Table

    ‘AKA Nighthawk. Pretty common everywhere. I like to call them bird-bats because they feast on moths.’

    Worst MCU character ever.

    • Festus' Mustache

      Frikken Nerd… Hey Buddy, stop doing that!

      • Fifth Knight of the Derp Table

        Would you believe I haven’t watched a MCU movie since the trainwreck that was X-Men: Days of Future’s Past?…Scratch that, I saw Guardians of the Galaxy…it was tolerable.

      • Festus' Mustache

        I own a TV but I almost never watch it. Glibs and links and Youtube are much more entertaining. Wifey watches a lot of TV. Did I mention that it pains me to sit for more than about a half an hour at a time just staring at the television? I blame the death of sports for my malady.

      • Gender Traitor

        I’d watch a Guardians of the Galaxy/Deadpool/Kingsmen mash-up. (No idea which ones are MCU or DC or whatever.)

      • Nephilium

        GotG – MCU; Deadpool – Fox, now owned by Disney and can be brought into the MCU; Kingsmen – Millarverse, movies made by Fox, rights for all new Millarverse video media owned by Netflix.

      • UnCivilServant

        The most recent MCU movie I’ve seen was… Iron Man.

      • Sean

        I did not like Iron Man 2. I did enjoy 3 though.

      • Nephilium

        I got irritated to 3 due to the shared universe portion of it (and the kid’s garage having the equipment to fix the suit). At no point, with the president under attack, did anyone think to notify Shield or Captain America to help. It could have been dealt with in a couple of lines of dialog too.

      • Nephilium

        Just to outgeek you, DoFP wasn’t MCU. The X-Men series were done by Fox, not Disney or Marvel. There’s rumors that with the Fox acquisition by Disney, the MCU will start retconning some characters into Mutants, and bring Wolverine in sooner rather then later.

      • Fifth Knight of the Derp Table

        Outgeeked Indeed.

        😉

      • Nephilium

        /tips hat and caffeinated beverage

      • Festus' Mustache

        Out-Ackshuallied! Turn in your Glibs I.D. and collect your belongings. Someone from Security will escort you from these premises 😉

      • UnCivilServant

        Policy changed. We don’t do that anymore.

      • Nephilium

        I’m supposed to have an ID? I just have this permit.

      • robc

        I was going to be disappointed if that link had been anything else.

  35. PieInTheSky

    Why are people no longer threading replies?

    • Fifth Knight of the Derp Table

      It’s cute that you think I do that intentionally.

      • Festus' Mustache

        I blame the touch pad on the lap-top. I often wear a cardigan sweater when I’m in the smoking room because the window is open for ventilation and the sleeve brushes against the pad when I’m “typing”.

      • Fifth Knight of the Derp Table

        For me, more often than not, I’m on my tablet and the comment area begins very close to the scroll/previous article arrows. Sometimes when trying to add quotes I hit the right arrow. If I hit stop soon enough I can still post before having to type out my comment again but it winds up posting as a stand alone comment.

      • Festus' Mustache

        I can mostly blame it on being tech illiterate and agedness. I’ll be that old creep in assisted living that keeps pinching the nurse’s bottoms and pretending that it was not Kosher. “Was that wrong? Should I have not done that?’

    • Sean

      It’s the apocalypse. Good afternoon, Pie.

      • Fifth Knight of the Derp Table

        Howdy, Pie, GT, Festus, Sean, everyone else!

      • Sean

        Morning

      • Gender Traitor

        Hi, 5K!

      • PieInTheSky

        ‘sup

    • robc

      I was disappointed you didnt comment on the Transylvania University thread.

      • PieInTheSky

        what thread? I didnt see any

      • Fifth Knight of the Derp Table

        It must have been hiding in your reflection.

        Hiyoooo!

      • robc

        It was the afternoon links.

      • PieInTheSky

        How on earth would I comment anything in the night links? I am sleeping

  36. Gender Traitor

    It must be Brooksie’s birthday!

    • Fifth Knight of the Derp Table

      Heh.

  37. Festus' Mustache

    Where the fuck are my manners? Good job CP! Really enjoyed it!

  38. Sean

    https://legalinsurrection.com/2020/09/fired-oberlin-prof-lawsuit-told-we-cant-just-hire-another-white-woman-from-the-midwest-with-a-husband/

    The lawsuit describes a July 7, 2019, meeting between Blumenfeld and Oberlin Dance Department Chair Ann Cooper Albright, where she was advised to look for a new position, allegedly being told, “we can’t just hire another white woman from the Midwest with a husband.”

    “Ms. Albright, acting individually and in her capacity as chair of Oberlin’s Dance Department, effectively rejected Ms. Blumenfeld for the new tenure-track position, not because of her accomplishments, her skill, her experiences, her work ethic, or her individual and personal qualities, but instead, because of her race, the color of her skin, her sex, her sexual orientation, her national origin, and her ancestry,” according to the suit.

    • Festus' Mustache

      (((Uber Prog))) is White when I decide she’s White! Fuck’s sake. It’s Oberlin! How many layers does the grievance onion contain? Never mind, it’s multitudes.

      • Festus' Mustache

        The funniest part is that both of their names are traditionally ((( ))). Wonder what style of glasses these two wear.

    • TARDIS

      This doesn’t stop until enough white hetero females normies get screwed over.

      • Festus' Mustache

        I’ve seen THOSE movies advertised on some other sites.