Thursday Afternoon Links

by | Sep 24, 2020 | Daily Links | 435 comments

Happy Thursday, everybody. I am going to check out a new gym this afternoon that has lifting and Muay Thai classes. Not that I am ever going to be the type to have fans chanting “Nok Soo Cow” in an arena, but it occurred to me that I am entirely bored with my life in the bubble and feeling isolated, and what could be a manlier way to resolve that than having other men trying to kick me in the head while I try to do the same to them? (They are in no danger as long as they keep their head above hip level) And the lifting classes, I need another set of eyes on what I do once in a while, I could probably get a little coaching and stop oscillating around the same weights.

Nobody ever told me my job could include destructive testing of expensive things.

Black licorice, not even once. (h/t OMWC)

Mr. President… we can not afford… an asteroid mining gap!

There’s being frugal and then there’s being cheap. (h/t Grand Moff Serious Man)

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

435 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    By images you mean dick pics?

    • juris imprudent

      Yeah, but Bro didn’t get here first.

      • Chafed

        No fisting today?

      • Hyperion

        There were pics, but you couldn’t see them.

  2. Animal

    Black licorice is flavored with anise, which in my youth I used only to bait muskrat traps. And really, that says it all for that flavoring.

    • Fourscore

      Not a muskrat but I’d had fallen into that trap easily. Rarely eat it now ’cause it may not be too good for the heart irregularities. Already got a daily beta blocker to keep things humming.

      I use marshmallows for raccoons and woodchucks.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      anus>anise
      I hate that shit.

      • peachy rex

        You’re an HM sock? (considers screen name) Ok, I buy it.

    • Hyperion

      It’s good for fish bait too.

  3. juris imprudent

    Right out of the gate, with no respect at all, the Bee wedgies Governor No-brain!

    The order takes effect in 2035, meaning by that time, everyone in the state with no electricity will only be able to plug in their cars to the power grid that does not work.

    • blackjack

      Imma buy me a red Barchetta.

      • Apples and Knives

        In violation of the Motor Law?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        A little Boat?
        /translation

    • Chafed

      It’s not even parody anymore. It’s precognition. I plan to be out of here before v2035.

    • Rhywun

      Governor No-brain

      Can you be more specific?

  4. Count Potato

    “Nok Soo Cow”

    I have no idea what that means, but Ong Bak was great.

    • Count Potato

      I haven’t seen the sequels though.

    • Brett L

      I may have misspelled it.

    • Timeloose

      White Warrior!!! supposed to be Thai from the Kick boxer movie starring JCVD.

      It sounds like a Stormfront title song.

      • Bobarian LMD

        นักสู้ขาว = white warrior (fighter)

    • Bobarian LMD

      Apparently it means “white warrior” so racist.

      • Not Adahn

        Shiro kubocha?

      • Tonio

        +1 Archer reference

      • Bobarian LMD

        “white pumpkin”

  5. Lady Z

    Like anyone needed more reason not to eat black licorice, ick.

    • C. Anacreon

      I stopped in grade school because my friend Mike kept calling it “lick-her-ass”.

      • Playa Manhattan

        So you started again in college?

  6. Mad Scientist

    Nobody ever told me my job could include destructive testing of expensive things.

    How about this one?

    • Not Adahn

      Early on in my semiconductor career, I had to take a $20,000 piece of synthetic quartz and break it with a hammer (carefully wrapped in cleanroom tape to prevent contamination)

      And reticles go instantaneously from being worth six figures to being a liability as soon as a product gets retired. Gotta chuck them in the grinder so nobody can steal the IP on them.

      • Gender Traitor

        You couldn’t become a conductor, so you became a semiconductor?

      • Tonio

        Swiss! Get over here.

      • blackjack

        For a semi-narrowed gaze?

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        he was going to go with a super-narrowed gaze, but he isn’t that cold.

      • Swiss Servator

        *strongly narrows gaze*

      • juris imprudent

        Swiss couldn’t resist her!

  7. Drake

    Every time I get out my Hi-Point carbine I think about the difference between frugal and cheap.

    • Gender Traitor

      Ah! Used to have fun with mine when we went to the range regularly. Tom T calls ’em “monkey guns” because they remind him of the apes’ guns in Planet of the Apes.

  8. Donation Not Taxation

    Protestors are now going restaurant by restaurant to chant at diners on Beach Dr. in St. Pete. A lot of diners yelled back, starting multiple confrontations. This one was the most significant. Protestors took over a couple’s table. Not sure why they were targeted specifically.

    — Josh Fiallo (@Josh Fiallo)1600907691.0

    reporter for the Tampa Bay Times

    St. Pete = St. Petersburg, Florida

    https://www.theblaze.com/news/ready-watch-protesters-harass-diners-in-florida-following-breonna-taylor-decision-in-tennessee

    • Drake

      I would react very poorly to people getting in my space like that. Worse if they presumed to do so with my wife.

      • Brett L

        I notice they picked the older and frailer couples.

      • Chafed

        It’s not a coincidence.

    • Spartacus

      They should go a little north and try that around Yankeetown or Cedar Key.

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      A lot of diners yelled back, starting multiple confrontations.

      So the reporter is placing the blame for the confrontations on the diners?

      • invisible finger

        That was my reaction too.

    • Ted S.

      And then drugs fell out of his ass….

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        yep,

    • Fourscore

      “https://www.theblaze.com/news/ready-watch-protesters-harass-diners-in-florida-following-breonna-taylor-decision-in-tennessee

      I must have been asleep when Louisville moved…

    • Hyperion

      Winning hearts and minds.

  9. Donation Not Taxation

    Happiest state of US overall Hawaii
    Happiest state of US emotional and physical well being New Jersey
    Happiest state of US work environment Utah
    Happiest state of US work community and environment Utah

    2020’s Happiest States in America

    Adam McCann, Financial Writer • Sep 22, 2020

    https://wallethub.com/edu/happiest-states/6959/#

    • Drake

      Our well-being is so awesome that everyone is trying to get out.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        ‘Our well-being is so awesome that everyone is trying to get out.’ — Drake

        Spreading ’emotional and physical well being’ elsewhere

    • Chafed

      New Jersey? Call me skeptical.

      • Hyperion

        Everyone there is living in blissful ignorance?

    • Ted S.

      Some people are happiest when drugs are falling out of their asses.

  10. Apples and Knives

    Apparently not a lot of Glibs like black licorice, or are willing to admit it. I like it!

    • blackjack

      I like it, but I don’t really like any candy a whole bag point five per days worth.

      • Apples and Knives

        Me neither, but I was kind of surprised to learn how little you have to eat to start having heart issues.

    • Mojeaux

      I think those of us who don’t like it actually LOATHE it with the loath of a thousand fiery suns and are willing to say so. Loudly and often.

      • Count Potato

        So it’s the cilantro of candy?

      • blackjack

        I wonder how it would be on…pizza?

    • Mad Scientist

      All the haters are leaving more for us!

    • Timeloose

      Love it. I could eat bags of good and plenty or Australian licorice.

      • Surly Knott

        Me too.

      • C. Anacreon

        Another advantage of Good ‘n’ Plenty is you can use it to make your train run.

    • B.P.

      Too risky.

    • Sean

      I’ve already gone on record as having been a fan previously. It ain’t keto friendly though.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Top 5 Worst Candies:

      1. Black licorice
      2. Candy corn
      3. Peeps
      4. Dubble Bubble
      5. Necco Wafers/Circus Peanuts

      • Mojeaux

        3. Peeps

        You shut your whore mouth!

        However, they must be properly aged.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        You’re ruining your reputation Mo by defending Miracle Whip and peeps.

      • Mojeaux

        Oh, there is nothing I could say that would bring my reputation lower.

        And Miracle Whip has its place. I’m not saying it’s a mayo replacement because it is NOT. But it does have its uses.

      • Lady Z

        Black Licorice Matters. Racist.

      • Tres Cool

        No hate for ‘Circus Peanuts’?

        I loathe those things.

      • Mojeaux

        See #5.

      • invisible finger

        Probably matches my list until I learned Necco wafers worked on the Illinois Tollway baskets. I liked that even more than learning French centimes worked on the Boston subway.

      • Mad Scientist

        Mmmmmmmmm, candy corn

  11. Mojeaux

    So my lasagna turned out just okay. It’s a little bland. I don’t know what it’s missing, but whatever it is, I didn’t put enough of it in.

    • Brett L

      I can do the same thing to my mother’s recipe, somehow.

      • Mojeaux

        It’s usually not like this. I put the usual herbs and spices in it (salt, pepper, oregano, basil, parsley), but apparently not enough of one or all or some combination.

        I’m stumped.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Maybe your italian sausage was sub-par?

      • Mojeaux

        See above discussion of anise-flavored things. I don’t like fennel, therefore I do not use Italian sausage. I use ground beef.

      • Count Potato

        Unfortunately or not, I’ve seen plenty of italian sausage at the supermarket that doesn’t have fennel.

      • Bobarian LMD

        So you’re saying that you don’t actually make lasagna?

      • Brett L

        How old are your spices? They do go flat.

      • Mojeaux

        That’s possible. I buy lots of the Italian herbs at once, but haven’t used much of them lately.

      • juris imprudent

        I’m not seeing garlic being mentioned.

      • juris imprudent

        Oh crap – scroll, idiot, scroll.

      • Mojeaux

        I used garlic. Possibly not enough.

    • Drake

      That’s the opposite reaction my cooking gets. I do not spare the garlic and spice.

    • blackjack

      Quadruple the garlic and add ground red pepper to the sauce (gravy). I use red wine to temper the heat, something sweet-ish. Massive amounts of garlic don’t hurt any Italian foods.

      • Mojeaux

        The spare garlic may be the problem. I didn’t have much and I didn’t have a backup jar.

        (At the store yesterday, I thought I had more than I did, so I didn’t get a new jar.)

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Jar?

      • Count Potato

        Jar?

      • Not Adahn

        Binks?

      • The Hyperbole

        Garlic comes in jars now?

      • Rhywun

        I see peeled garlic in jars. Never used ’em.

        I also see garlic paste in jars – I do use that for sauces because lazy.

      • Mad Scientist

        Binks?

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I use it on pizza. There are enough other flavors going on that the jarred garlic is indistinguishable from the fresh stuff. One less ingredient to prep.

      • blackjack

        Suddenly, it makes sense. Garlic comes in clumps and cloves. It gets activated when you cut or crush it. That needs to happen seconds before use. That’s why whole cloves can be roasted and eaten without being crazy, but minced garlic is very strong. Always use fresh garlic. Always. Mince it for sauce and use 5 times as much as you think you should. ( I’m a quarter wop.)

      • Sean

        That needs to happen seconds before use.

        Wait, I thought you were supposed to crush the garlic cloves first and let them sit 10-15 minutes before mincing?

      • blackjack

        No. Max effect is right away after mincing. I just squish them with a canned good of some kind, remove all the parchment, cut the stem bases off and mince away. There’s no “letting it breathe” or anything. You want to retain the essence of the stuff, not let it escape. That’s like squishing all the juice out of a burger. Don’t do it.

      • Count Potato

        You don’t have to wait before mincing, but you do have to wait before adding it to anything acidic.

      • blackjack

        Btw, every time I restate this, the multiple of garlic use will increase. 6 times what you think.

      • Mojeaux

        Allrightythen I’ll bite. Heh.

        I make a stock pot full of marinara with beef at a time, somewhere around 5 pounds of beef. 1 huge white onion. About 5 cans of mushrooms. About 1/4 cup of jarred minced garlic. Salt, pepper, oregano, basil, parsley.

        So for 5 lbs of beef, how many cloves of garlic should I use?

      • blackjack

        I’ve never made 5 lb.s of meat’s worth of bolognese. I usually make 1.5-2 lbs. I will use a decent sized clump of garlic for that. The whole clump, and it’s fresh. Using the watered down jar stuff, fuck, I don’t know. Use a clump’s worth for every pound. It’s a lotta work mincing up that much garlic, but it’s what you gotta do. Maybe put the kids to work de-parchmenting it. Your lasagna will be better, a lot better.

      • SP

        Cans of mushrooms?

      • blackjack

        Cans of mushrooms are great for squishing the individual cloves of garlic (although they’re often smallish) . If you want to add mushrooms to your sauce, buy them fresh.

        Maybe I’m a purist, but, if you want a good motor, use good parts. If you want good lasagna, use good parts.

      • Mojeaux

        *sigh*

        Yes, cans of mushrooms. Now I have exposed myself for the fraud cookerer that I am.

        On the bright side, I haven’t poisoned anyone.

        Yet.

      • blackjack

        One thing I don’t mess with is black olives. The canned one’s seem just as good, and who’s going to slice those little fuckers?

      • blackjack

        Don’t feel bad. You asked about why it was not good. Make it better. Every thing you do to improve it will help. Some of it is to taste. Just keep moving in that direction, and you will feel better about it. Baby steps and all that.

      • slumbrew

        It’s a lotta work mincing up that much garlic

        I’m a fan of a garlic press for that sort of application – I don’t think you lose much vs. straight-up mincing.

      • EvilSheldon

        The overuse of garlic is the worst trend in modern cooking.

        I blame Emeril Lagasse.

      • Mad Scientist

        It is physically impossible to overuse garlic.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        *cringes when thinking about the heartburn that garlic gives me in large quantities*

      • EvilSheldon

        My first-hand experience with garlic-related B.O. disagrees.

      • Lady Z

        Quadruple the garlic

        Always a good idea.

      • Drake

        I consider it a vegetable.

    • Apples and Knives

      I’m guessing anise is out of the question.

      • Mojeaux

        It sure is.

        I believe liking anise and cilantro soap is a genetic thing. There’s a receptor that either turns it on or off.

      • Apples and Knives

        I can believe they’re related, because I LOVE cilantro.

      • The Hyperbole

        I like licorice but have the soapweed gene.

      • Lady Z

        Cilantro hater here as well, hate licorice, but I loooove fennel bulb. I’m also good with fennel seed in sausage.

      • Count Potato

        I haven’t seen finocchio at the market in a long time. I used to make a red sauce out of it.

      • Lady Z

        Not exactly popular here, but I can usually find it in a couple of grocery stores. It’s amazing caramelized with onions. I’ll have to try it in a red sauce sometime.

      • CPRM

        I like cilantro, but dislike black licorice.

      • Count Potato

        Italian sausage needs fennel.

    • Ted S.

      Not enough Glibertarian cynicism?

      • Mojeaux

        By George, that’s exactly it!

    • Donation Not Taxation

      ‘I think those of us who don’t like it actually LOATHE it with the loath of a thousand fiery suns and are willing to say so. Loudly and often.’ — Mojeaux
      ‘I don’t know what it’s missing’ — Mojeaux

      Lasagna missing black licorice.

  12. Count Potato

    “Iron-rich meteorites that fell to Earth were one of our first sources of iron. These types of meteorites are called iron meteorites, and they consist largely of an iron-nickel ore called meteoric iron. Early peoples made tools, cultural objects, and of course weapons from them. One of the best-known examples of that is Tutankhamen’s dagger.”

    SPACE KNIFE

    • Brett L

      Cold iron.

      • banginglc1

        Bound

      • Bobarian LMD

        Are we fighting dark elves?

      • SugarFree

        Do you have you get all racist about it?

      • Bobarian LMD

        It’s in my nature, apparently.

      • R C Dean

        I believe cold iron is untempered. Basically, wrought iron. Would make a really bad knife.

    • Translucent Chum

      Duh. The Egyptians were from space. That’s how he got the dagger. They made a documentary about it called Stargate.

      • Count Potato

        That’s the cheesiest thing I’ve ever seen.

      • Ted S.

        Cheesier than this?

      • Count Potato

        I’m not clicking on that, Ted.

    • Hyperion

      “SPACE KNIFE”

      I’m a stab ya with my space knife!

  13. Donation Not Taxation

    Kosher or no: RBG lying in state?

    • R C Dean

      I’ve heard no, but I’m not at (((expert))).

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Thanks, R C Dean.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        ‘was she salted?’ — SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Who salts human corpses?

      • Hyperion

        Norwegian fish mongers?

    • Playa Manhattan

      No.

    • Chafed

      Absolutely not. The deceased is supposed to be interred as quickly as possible. Generally, this means in a day or two.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    Black licorice- I knew that shit was no good.

  15. Donation Not Taxation

    Hypothetically, based RBG’s written opinions, would RBG vote for/against rabbi singing religious song @ service inside government building with corpse present?

    • Ted S.

      Hypothetically, what would you do if somebody reposted every one of the Morning Links comments in the Afternoon Links?

      • Mad Scientist

        Someone needs to reboot the DNT bot.

      • DWB

        I thought it was just my imagination

      • Ted S.

        Running away with you?

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Hypothetically, I’d hover my finger over the mute button, looking for any excuse to push it. But I’m kinda an asshole.

  16. Yusef drives a Kia

    I love rockets, 30th!

  17. The Late P Brooks

    Nobody ever told me my job could include destructive testing of expensive things.

    Nice. What is that, liquid oxygen?

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      nitrogen, safer

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      “At 22, Scurlock already had a rap sheet a mile long, including home invasion, assault and battery, domestic violence — and, of course, he was in the middle of a crime spree that very night.”

      Sounds like we lost a fine fellow that night.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        ‘Sounds like we lost a fine fellow that night.’ — Stinky Wizzleteats

        Your eulogy noted.

      • Dr. Fronkensteen

        Gardner? Yeah I think we did.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        ^This, it’s a real shame.

  18. Donation Not Taxation

    Any ideas how/where statistics deaths because Chinese flu instead deaths with positive test Chinese flu?

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      why are you repeating old topics verbatim? and not wiating for 30 minutes before OT is in poor taste,
      go to your Room for a time out!

    • Bobarian LMD

      I don’t know that was collected, but with and without comorbidities is.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Thanks.

      • Bobarian LMD

        You’re welcome.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Thanks.

      • Bobarian LMD

        You’re welcome.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        Thanks, Bobarian LMD.

      • Bobarian LMD

        You’re welcome.

      • Playa Manhattan

        I just wanted to say thanks

      • Bobarian LMD

        Not you.

  19. Fourscore

    Where would one collect enough used condoms to make a commercial venture work? Not asking for a friend, just curious. If they’re being picked up by someone with a nail in a stick they may have to be sold as seconds.

    • Not Adahn

      Considering the reprocessing process was to boil them, I can’t imagine they’d have great integrity in any case.

    • Gadfly

      I’m assuming whorehouses.

    • DEG

      Brothels.

  20. The Late P Brooks

    I use marshmallows for raccoons and woodchucks.

    A little peanut butter on a piece of an oatmeal cookie, and if there is a raccoon nearby, you’ll find him in your trap in the morning. Also possums.

    • Mojeaux

      ‘Possums are useful, though.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        as targets………….

      • Not Adahn

        And tick-eating machines.

      • Mojeaux

        They eat mounds and mounds of ticks and fleas.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        ah, cool info, will relent on possum killing

      • EvilSheldon

        They’re also adorable, in a kind of creepy snaggle-toothed way.

      • Fourscore

        I had a gentle female Wiemeraner that would tear into a possum if it was cornered, she’d have scratches on her face but was relentless until she won. On the other hand if a big cat backed into a corner she’d pretend for a couple feints and then go back to retrieving the neighbors’ newspapers. She was hell on armadillos but they would ignore her and keep on looking for grubs and she’d get tired of barking ’cause they wouldn’t run away.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Yeah, leave possums alone. Raccoons are assholes.

  21. Dr. Fronkensteen

    I am a bad person. I would like to see these protestors harass people outside of certain restaurants in little Italy.

    • Mad Scientist

      It’s human nature to pick fights you think you can win, and avoid ones you think you’ll lose.

    • Drake

      That would be fun.

  22. Suthenboy

    I think we have the launch and land on an asteroid part whipped. I think we have the mining part whipped (mining what?) The hitch is getting the product back down to earth’s surface.

    Communism obviously works when you have an economy where people make money by recycling condoms. Yep, it totally works. The Vietnamese finally got it right.

    • Drake

      I thought asteroid mining would only be profitable after a space elevator was built (absent a huge jump in propulsion technology).

    • The Hyperbole

      I may be wrong but hasn’t Vietnam been adopting more and more market based policies, and aren’t they one of the fastest growing economies in the world?

      • Suthenboy

        *Hands The Hyperbole a 3x recycled rubber*

        Yes. They have gone from zero to 1/2. Fastest growing.

      • The Hyperbole

        A story about used rubbers from a country that is moving away from communism and whose economy is doing fairly well is proof that commie economies are so shitty they result in people rinsing out condoms? I’m still missing a few connections here.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        He was just offering you a gift.

      • The Hyperbole

        In fact this is akhshullay a condemnation of free markets, someone discovered that they could turn a buck recycling condoms with near slave labour in an unregulated market. A condemnation of Communism would have been the people rinsing out their own condoms because they couldn’t buy any new ones.

      • Gadfly

        a country that is moving away from communism and whose economy is doing fairly well

        Just want to point out that while you are correct that Vietnam has been moving away from communism and is improving, its economy is not quite what I’d call “doing fairly well”. Their GDP per capita is $2.7K, ranking them 130th out of 186 nations (as measured by the IMF).

      • The Hyperbole

        Fair enough, I’m just going by half remembered stories about Vietnam becoming a major player in manufacturing or some such industry.

      • Not Adahn

        Yeah, they were part of the next wave of slave labor once China got too expensive.

    • Florida Man

      Seems like you could use a parachute to drop mining product back to earth in a porcelain (Ceramics) shielded container.

    • R C Dean

      The hitch is getting the product back down to earth’s surface.

      Getting stuff to the bottom of a gravity well is pretty easy.

      I suppose if you want it to land at a certain place, time, and speed, its probably harder.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        ‘I suppose if you want it to land at a certain place, time, and speed, its probably harder.’ — R C Dean

        If don’t care ‘place, time, and speed’, business model not good.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I found the guy who’s not voting for SMOD/semi-bright border collie 2020

      • Mad Scientist

        Dude, go take your medication.

  23. Certified Public Asshat

    Masks now have magic powers:

    It's true!Academics argue universal mask-wearing could become a form of variolation (inoculation) that would generate immunity and “thereby slow the spread of the virus” pic.twitter.com/nbQqeCeFa2— The Telegraph (@Telegraph) September 24, 2020

    • Ted S.

      Oh it’s twoo, it’s twoo….

    • Suthenboy

      Am I drunk and stupid or does that not make any sense?

      *rubs eyes and shakes head. re-reads*

      What the fuck are they talking about?

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        As far as I can tell, its like breathing through a used tissue all day and hoping the viral load doesn’t get to the point where you actually get sick. Just a guess.

      • R C Dean

        Yeah, I think the claim is that if you wear a mask you will get a micro-dose of the virus that will let you develop immunity without getting sick-sick.

        Not totally nuts, but also totally unproven, scientifically.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Quite the hypothesis.

        Too bad we have months of data that suggest masks don’t do shit.

  24. Yusef drives a Kia

    So I was playing disc at the college today and an errant Tee shot put my in some heavy rough, waist deep bushes and trees. Being an expensive, favorite disc I was determined to find it, after 5 minutes or so of desparation I walked right up to a Skunk, or Badger/wolverine, I didnt see it’s head and backed the fuck up real quick, and left the disc behind.
    Question, do Skunks come in Brown? and do Wolverines exist in Western Michigan? I didn’t wait to check…..

    • Mojeaux

      I have seen neither of those things in real life.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Bella and I got skunked in San Fran las t Summer, this was dark brown, I didn’t wait around to see what it would do, Beautiful country,
        A nice place,

    • Fourscore

      I don’t think skunks are anything other than black/white, probably a few excepts. If you’re where I think you are it may have been a badger. Wolverines are extremely rare, even in Canada.

      • Bobarian LMD

        A groundhog would also be quite possible.

      • Fourscore

        Yep, more likely even

    • Nephilium

      No real wolverines in Michigan, just the mascot variety.

    • Caput Lupinum

      Skunks can be brown, though it isn’t very common. Wolverines used to live in Michigan, but they aren’t likely to be there now; the last confirmed sighting was back in 2004 and it was already dead, and the previous sighting before that was back in the 1950’s. If it was a darker brown it was probably a skunk. Badger isn’t out of the question but they are usually a lighter, grayish brown.

      • R C Dean

        If it was a badger, you’re lucky to be alive. Those fuckers are mean and aggressive as hell.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Dark brown with White tips, bigger than a skunk, by a little,

      • dontreadonme

        Sounds like a badger.

  25. SugarFree

    That which lies in state may never die
    and after strange aeons even Ruth may rise

    • Mad Scientist

      There was an old lady from Brooklyn

      • Plisade

        Who, for lack of a job, started hookin’

      • Mojeaux

        And developed a wart

      • C. Anacreon

        And then out of her mouth started pukin’.

      • Gdragon

        “50 bucks, like in town, if you’re lookin’!”

      • The Hyperbole

        And now goes by the handle “Brochettewad”‘…ookin

        also hookin doesn’t rhyme with Brooklyn ,

        and the first two lines don’t have the same syllable count as is required in an authentic limerick.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      Ph’nglui mglw’nafh Cthulhu R’lyeh wgah’nagl fhtagn

      • Rhywun

        Suddenly 2020 makes more sense.

  26. KibbledKristen

    Black licorice FTW!!

    • SugarFree

      Is that a fuse dangling out of your pocket or are you just angry to see us?

      • KibbledKristen

        “Burn it all down”

        -Don Lemon

    • Donation Not Taxation

      KibbledKristen, Code enforcement OK having vehicle on blocks in yard? /jk

      • dbleagle

        BUFFS are fun to see in person. Every AF base has a selection of old aircraft on display. Travis has a huge collection while Maguire on has a couple. Maguire has a P-38 so that gives them cred.

      • EvilSheldon

        There is a terrific naval aviation museum down at NAS Patuxent River in southern Maryland. It looks like they took an old carrier air wing from the 1970’s and tipped it out into an old warehouse. A huge mess, but you can climb all over the F-4 and A3J-1 they have parked outside.

  27. Ted S.

    Now that half an hour has passed, I wanted to mention a couple of movies coming up on TCM tonight for people looking for a movie recommendation:

    The Young Doctors at 9:30 PM ET. Not really about young doctors, but one of the few movies I can think of set in the pathology department of a hospital. It also has one of Dick Clark’s acting performances, from before he figured out he should stick to hosting.

    The Hospital, at 11:30 PM. George C. Scott plays the chief of staff with a whole host of personal and professional problems, who then finds out that somebody may be murdering patients at his hospital. An extremely black comedy written by Paddy Chayefsky, this is for everybody except those about to go into a hospital for elective surgery.

    • Gender Traitor

      If you still have the schedule handy, what’s on before those, and is it any good? I’ll be home a bit before 8 EDT and would enjoy a nice old movie.

      • Ted S.

        8PM is Young Dr. Kildare, which I think is the first of the Dr. Kildare movies, starring Lew Ayres before he became a conscientious objector (he ultimately served with distinction as a medic in World War II) and Lionel Barrymore as his boss at the hospital.

    • The Gunslinger

      Nope. Diamond studded nipple pasties.

    • KibbledKristen

      I’m still tryna figure out who the fuck this chick is

      • Mad Scientist

        She’s an escapee from the Island of Dr. Moreau who pays tabloids to pretend she’s still human.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Hah! That is exactly what I was going to say.

        What has she done exactly that makes the DM print so many pictures of her?

      • Mad Scientist

        She writes them a check.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        She’s famous for being famous and having bad plastic surgery.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        ‘I’m still tryna figure out who’ ‘this chick is’ — KibbledKristen

        Traditional models paid wear designer clothes fashion shows, magazines, etc. Models selected designers and/or media outlets. Demi Moore self-publishing self-selected model. Demi Moore currently ‘14.5m Followers, 666 Following, 1,122 Posts ‘ Instagram.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I got hit in the the Head by a disc,hey man, nice shot for Certain,

    • EvilSheldon

      The one who can’t talk versus the one who can’t shut up. The shitshow will be glorious!

  28. Count Potato

    “A Louisville Metro Police major blasted Black Lives Matter protesters and Antifa as ‘punks’ who will always be living in their parents’ basement, working in Walmart or ‘washing our cars’ in a message to colleagues last month.

    Maj. Bridget Hallahan, who is white and commands the city’s Fifth Division, allegedly claimed that police officers in the city and their families are also being ‘doxed’.

    She invited cops in her division to come to her office to ‘vent together’ and called on them not to ‘validate’ the protesters or to ‘make them important’.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8769789/Louisville-police-major-calls-BLM-Antifa-supporters-punks-washing-cars.html

    That’s insulting to people who work at Walmart.

    • Brochettaward

      Someone should tell her that she is a glorified tax collector.

  29. DWB

    One of my favorite writers died last week and I cannot remember hearing anything — so sad. From an appreciation:

    “Crouch had no patience for the self-pitying race politics of grievance and authenticity. He saw it as a hustle and had nothing but contempt for its toxic sales pitch. He arrived at this conviction the hard way, as he explains in the prologue to his fabulous Considering Genius:

    The tribal appeal is always great and there is nothing more tempting to the most gullible members of a minority group than suddenly hearing that, merely by being born, one is not innately inferior to the majority but part of an unacknowledged elite. I was not so sophisticated that I could avoid the pull of those ideas and found myself reading all kinds of books about Africa, and African customs and religion. … I would have been pulled all the way into the maw of subthought, from which it might have taken longer to emerge if Jayne Cortez hadn’t introduced me to Ralph Ellison’s Shadow and Act. … Unlike those younger black people who were busy jettisoning their heritage as Americans and Western people—both of which brought the built-in option of criticism—Ellison took the place of his ethnic group and himself as firm parts of American life and a fresh development in Western culture.

    This affirmation of Americanness in the face of all tribal impulses, “ethnic narcissism,” and Balkanization, reflects the influence of Ellison and Murray, and their realization, in Crouch’s words, that “America is a land of synthesis.” In The Omni-Americans, Murray builds on Constance Rourke’s description of the composite nature of the American character—“part Yankee, part backwoodsman and Indian, and part Negro.” Blackness, in other words, is a foundational element of the American national character, meaning that all Americans are culturally part Black, whether they like it or not, and that appeals to racial or cultural purity—by anyone, regardless of skin color or claimed ancestry—are sheer nonsense.”

    https://www.tabletmag.com/sections/arts-letters/articles/stanley-crouch-appreciation?fbclid=IwAR3Bh34CmMhJ-8EGPXAIHCjVbOaiDKJJbHWyCOAu5mhcPjMndZZkKBd1tbE

    • Suthenboy

      That is a lot of words to say ‘Culture, not race’.

  30. Pope Jimbo

    I am very disappointed. I thought the story about a dude dying after eating Black Licorice was going to involve a stripper and a jealous boyfriend.

  31. The Late P Brooks

    I watched “The Russians Are Coming, The Russians Are Coming” last night. What a great movie.

    Alan Arkin was awesome. “Everybody on this island is CRAZY!”

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      He took his role in Catch-22 and turned it into a career.

      • Tundra

        He was brilliant in The In-Laws.

      • slumbrew

        Serpentine, Shel!

        (pretty much all I could think when watching The Battle Of The Bastards episode of Game of Thrones)

      • Pope Jimbo

        Used to. But I’m no longer a young man.

    • EvilSheldon

      I said it before, I’ll say it again – westerners traveling in the third world should bring plenty of rubbers from home.

      • Suthenboy

        Or keep their pants zipped.
        If they don’t they are liable to get something that even gasoline wont wash off.

        *A friend of mine recently travelled to Peru. He asked my advice on how to avoid Dysentery.

        Me – “Have you looked at a map of Peru?”

        Him – “Yes, why?”

        Me – “Then you already have dysentery”

      • Florida Man

        I spent 2 weeks in peru with my wife. Part of the travel prep was inoculations and the doc gave us cipro because everyone gets travelers diarrhea. Neither one of us had so much as indigestion, so maybe times have changed or our immune systems are on the next level.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Dude, you’re gator people. All that swamp living has made you resistant.

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        Normally I wear protection, but then I thought, “When am I gonna make it back to Haiti?”

      • UnCivilServant

        So you decided to take home a social disease as a souvinier?

      • Tundra

        +1 Bad Idea Jeans

    • Brochettaward

      This is a very odd business model. I’d imagine the time and effort in finding all those condoms and cleaning them would produce razor thin margins.

      • EvilSheldon

        Who said anything about cleaning them?

      • Mad Scientist

        Just turn ’em inside out.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      It’s the best lake.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    The Hospital

    Also a great movie.

  33. The Hyperbole

    Police said the bags weighed over 360 kilograms (794 lbs), equivalent to 345,000 condoms…The owner of the warehouse said they had received a “monthly input of used condoms from an unknown person,”

    Insert Winston’s Mom joke here.

    Insert “insert Winston’s Mom” joke here.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      But what was the street value?

      • juris imprudent

        Of the condoms, or Winston’s Mom?

  34. Count Potato

    “Police cars revolving light
    Clown face
    Twitter CEO @jack
    Dorsey funds Antifa:
    — Contributed to $11 million in grant $$, some went to The Bail Project https://philanthropynewsdigest.org/news/clara-lionel-foundation-dorsey-commit-11-million-for-racial-equity
    — The Bail Project has Holly Zoller on their team
    — Holly Zoller rented a U-Haul
    — The U-Haul supplied Louisville rioters with gear”

    https://twitter.com/dailydigger19/status/1308932168966643712

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The compendium of centers and projects and initiatives is rather astounding.

      Bunch of grifters.

  35. Evan from Evansville

    Thanks for the kind words about my recovery article yesterday!

    I am currently in the hospital doing day one of a two-day EEG test. I haven’t been able to have conversations like this in a long, long time. I’m clear, coherent and there is no chance of a seizure happening. Well, I won’t say ZERO, cuz I don’t control absolutely everything, but let’s say the possibility is about .0001% chance. The way I was treating myself during this long depression is what how those was caused, and even then I’d only have one every 4 months or so. Even those were own goals I scored on myself. Like I was the goalie and instead of passing it onwards, I just turned my back on the rest of my team and pissed on the puck until it slid into the net.

    For me being healthy means being disciplined and to work hard to feel accomplishment. That’s what has lifted me out of the trouble I was in. Now I swear it’s so fucking easy. I have a private room, a TV, wifi, a new phone, pretty damn good food, and a contract that I just have to get the details sorted out on. It’s great.

    Worst part of the day: The Cub losing 3 of 4 (by a score of 7-0!) to the embarrASSing Pirates. That’s just pathetic. Our offense just isn’t doing shit. Sigh. Sorry Kyle Hendricks, hands down my favorite current pitcher, yes, you did give up two home runs to the first two batters you faced yesterday. Rough. But you went 7 and 2/3rds innings and only gave up those two runs. I’ll take that all day, all year. Sucks that we lost 2-1.

    • Suthenboy

      I am glad to hear you are better. About 15 years ago I was diagnosed with a terrible, incurable disease and was told I would only be around for 7 years or so and that I would spend most of that time in a wheel chair.

      My reaction? “The fuck you say.” It really pissed me off. Yesterday, 15 years after I was told that, I spent half of the day cutting oak with my chainsaw and hauling the wood up the hill on my back. Fuck a wheelchair.

      Get pissed off. Ball up your fist and fight. If you are going to die do it on your feet with your boots on and your fist balled up.

      • Evan from Evansville

        Hell, yeah! I know what I was doing wrong and I just kept on doing it. I’m done with that shit. I know what I can do and ain’t nobody gonna tell me that I can’t. I’m just going to live differently.

    • Ted S.

      Baseball is always the worst part of the day, isn’t it?

      • Evan from Evansville

        *COUGH*

        I shall remain silent. Your choices, desires and likes are your own business. No shit, baseball for me is what religion is for people who are strongly observant believers. It’s my version of going to mass on Sunday. It’s a huge part of personal happiness and entertainment that I gladly devote myself to. Go Cubbies!

        It’s the same with everything. We all, with VERY few exceptions, like music, but we all have different musical tastes and backgrounds. Stuff we like, stuff we hate, stuff that’s just meh. Meh?

        That’s all cool. You do you and all. But for me, baseball is part of the absolute top tier of the fundamental pleasure that I get out of life. What can I say? The world would be hella boring if we all liked the same things, just like it would be far too tame if every culture had the same language and we happened to be identical. However, we ARE largely the same…just different flavors. Every culture has art, music, dance, sport, religion, storytelling, etc. It’s a crucial part of how we operate as mammals. That each scoop of life is different for peoples AND individuals within each group is what makes us interesting and why it’s so important and fun to learn from each other.

        *Shrug*

      • Ted S.

        Kindly turn your head when you cough.

  36. The Late P Brooks

    Public health and safety

    An Ohio police officer tased and arrested a woman on Wednesday after she refused to leave an eighth grade football game for not wearing a mask, officials said.

    Police in Logan, Ohio, who identified the woman as Alecia Kitts, said the officer told Kitts she would be asked to leave because she was not wearing a mask, in violation of school policy. After Kitts refused to leave the stadium, the officer warned she would be cited for trespassing. She was tased after she resisted arrest.

    ——-

    “It is important to note, the female was not arrested for failing to wear a mask, she was asked to leave the premises for continually violating school policy,” the police department said. “Once she refused to leave the premises, she was advised she was under arrest for criminal trespassing, she resisted the arrest, which led to the use of force.”

    “This is an unfortunate incident for everyone involved, the statement concluded. “The incident remains under investigation.”

    The Logan Police Department said in a statement that Smith was on duty at the football games to ensure safety and that fans are following health guidelines.

    Okay, then. It’s for her own good.

    • grrizzly

      The video is hard to watch.

    • Plisade

      “Unfortunate”

      Sorry,it wasn’t Lady Luck tasing her.

  37. DEG

    A woman detained during the bust told police that the used prophylactics were first boiled in water then dried and reshaped on a wooden phallus before being repackaged and resold.

    Seems legit.

  38. Count Potato

    “Trump’s refusal to commit to the peaceful transfer of power is the behavior of a desperate would-be dictator who’d cling to office even if it meant destroying our democracy.

    It’s pathetic. But because he is the president, we should take his threat seriously.”

    https://twitter.com/HillaryClinton/status/1309148068978266114

    CWAA

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      The hilarious thing about this is that the scuttlebutt I’ve heard is that they’re amidst full on preparations to vacate if they lose. A hope for the best, prepare for the worst sort of deal.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Unlike Clinton

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That’s what I get for not reading the original post.

        *smacks self in face*

    • B.P.

      The Dems should probably have someone else do the talking when the subject of accepting the results of an election comes up.

      • The Hyperbole

        Hillary contested the election?

      • R C Dean

        Could be a stretch, but would being in on the planning for the post-election coup attempt count?

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        Not openly.

    • Suthenboy

      Wut?

      She still cant figure out why she lost, can she?

    • Ownbestenemy

      Well considering the question was loaded with “win, lose, or tie” conditions attached…fucking lying bastards

  39. The Late P Brooks

    Nice little business you gots

    On Wednesday, Governor Gavin Newsom ordered regulators to phase out the internal combustion engine and ban the sale of all new gasoline-fueled cars after 2035. With that, California became the first state in America to impose such a prohibition and delivered the biggest jolt yet to automakers already under pressure to give up fossil fuels and deliver a new generation of electric vehicles.

    That’s what you (manufacturers) get for playing along with them (California) on the CAFE rule change. Suckers.

    • Suthenboy

      They are going all electric cars in a state with no electricity. Genius.

      Next up, candle powered cars.

      • BakedPenguin

        candle powered cars.

        Don’t be silly, Suthen. They’re going to start putting wheels on sailboats.

      • Suthenboy

        I was referring to the joke – “What did socialist light their homes with before candles? A – Electricity”

    • Rhywun

      LOL. I wonder how much money he’ll grift out of that before nothing becomes of it.

    • one true athena

      And he did it by executive order, too. When even a supermajority of compliant weasels isnt good enough!

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      I don’t see how he can do this without the legislature passing a law. And screw every reporter of this story for not even asking the question.

  40. Count Potato

    “The Death Of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg Pushed Me To Join The Satanic Temple

    I am a 40-something attorney and mother who lives in a quiet neighborhood with a yard and a garage full of scooters and soccer balls. I often walk with my children to get ice cream and spend weekends hiking through a national park. I am not the type of person who would normally consider becoming a Satanist, but these are not normal times.

    Like so many other women in the United States, when I learned of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg’s passing, my first reaction was not grief but fear. I fear that American citizens are inching closer to living in a theocracy or dictatorship and that the checks meant to prevent this from happening are close to eroding beyond repair.

    When Justice Ginsburg died, I knew immediately that action was needed on a scale we have not seen before. Our democracy has become so fragile that the loss of one of the last guardians of common sense and decency in government less than two months before a pivotal election has put our civil and reproductive rights in danger like never before. And, so, I have turned to Satanism.”

    https://www.huffpost.com/entry/rbg-mom-joins-satanic-temple_n_5f6b3565c5b629afbe990c15

    TW: HuffPo

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        It’s an archetype, just like wealthy trailer trash lawyer, never grew up lawyer, smug know it all lawyer, and phoning it in in-house lawyer.

      • Caput Lupinum

        Only four? Lucky. That describes pretty much every female partner at my firm. Not that the male partners are any better. Power mad petty dictators is the norm.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Too on the nose. Can’t be.

      I hope.

    • R C Dean

      I fear that American citizens are inching closer to living in a theocracy

      Get a grip.

      or dictatorship and that the checks meant to prevent this from happening are close to eroding beyond repair.

      Now we’re talking. You might take a closer look at the players involved in eroding those checks.

    • Rhywun

      Are they horning in on the Bee’s territory?

    • Suthenboy

      That is a lot of words for ‘I am bark at the moon crazy’.

      I cant wait for Trump’s re-election.

    • Mad Scientist

      I fear that American citizens are inching closer to living in a theocracy or dictatorship and that the checks meant to prevent this from happening are close to eroding beyond repair.

      I’m also afraid that worshiping the state with religious fervor will lead to a dictatorship.

    • EvilSheldon

      Our democracy has become so fragile that the loss of one of the last guardians of common sense and decency in government less than two months before a pivotal election has put our civil and reproductive rights in danger like never before. And, so, I have turned to Satanism.”

      Ooooookay. So how exactly is dropping E and having orgies going to help your civil and reproductive rights?

  41. Count Potato

    “Opinion: We need to act boldly now if we are to avoid economy-wide lockdowns to halt climate change

    LONDON (Project Syndicate)—As COVID-19 spread earlier this year, governments introduced lockdowns in order to prevent a public-health emergency from spinning out of control. In the near future, the world may need to resort to lockdowns again—this time to tackle a climate emergency.

    Shifting Arctic ice, raging wildfires in western U.S. states and elsewhere, and methane leaks in the North Sea are all warning signs that we are approaching a tipping point on climate change, when protecting the future of civilization will require dramatic interventions.

    Under a “climate lockdown,” governments would limit private-vehicle use, ban consumption of red meat, and impose extreme energy-saving measures, while fossil-fuel companies would have to stop drilling. To avoid such a scenario, we must overhaul our economic structures and do capitalism differently.”

    https://www.marketwatch.com/story/we-need-to-act-boldly-now-if-we-are-to-avoid-economy-wide-lockdowns-to-halt-climate-change-11600879250

    • R C Dean

      “Under a “climate lockdown,” governments would turn their countries into authoritarian hellholes where the living would envy the dead. To avoid such a scenario, we must resist falling for the catastrophic climate change hoax.”

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      “Mariana Mazzucato (born June 16, 1968) is an economist with dual Italian–US citizenship.[1] She is a professor at University College London in Economics of Innovation and Public Value and she is the founder/director of their Institute for Innovation and Public Purpose (IIPP). She is also a member of the Scottish Government’s Council of Economic Advisers and South Africa’s Economic Advisory Council.[2] In 2019, she joined the UN Committee for Development Policy.”

      Let’s see. Scotland, South Africa, UN….

      Quite the glowing resume of economic success stories there.

      • blackjack

        No mention of how retarded she is. I guess they leave that part up to the reader.

      • invisible finger

        It says LSE right there!

    • Rhywun

      You first.

    • Suthenboy

      Poverty and high crime have always been powerful tools in the tyrant’s toolbox.

    • mrfamous

      Was gonna post this. This is like an actual notable person. She’s obviously not smart enough to not actually say these sorts of things even when you advocate them in private.

  42. DEG

    The Clown Prince is gracious and magnanimous

    New Hampshire restaurants had been allowed to open at 100% capacity, but that might have been limited by the size of the dining area. Different parties of customers had to be seated at least 6 feet apart, so many restaurants were unable to operate at the same capacity they did before the COVID-19 pandemic.

    Under the new guidelines, as of Oct. 1, restaurants can place tables closer together, as long as protective barriers are in place to separate the tables.

    • Ownbestenemy

      *tin foil hat on* It seems that there are forces bent on making sure people are not able to circumvent the all watching eyes that crawl the digital space bu ensuring person to person conversations and gathering are banned. You see those for now, cannot be recorded or tracked.

      Sorry moment of crazy for me.

    • Suthenboy

      Vox wrote an article on dumbbells? Really?

      Ok then.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      “The markup and profits are the result of a dumbbell shortage combined with meteoric demand. But there’s something else happening: This new supply of ravenous consumers is largely uninformed about the market, and resellers are eager to take advantage of that perfect storm.”

      When I’m President, everyone will get free dumbbells.

      • Suthenboy

        We already do, that’s the problem.

      • Rhywun

        Stupid consumers, buying stuff. SMDH.

      • EvilSheldon

        Cool! Now do ammo!

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      So there are what, 270 million or so Americans over the age of 18?
      Which adds up to 270 billion every two weeks which equals about seven trillion per year. Sure, why not?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That’s only half a 14 trillion dollar coin.

        /Krugabe

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        That teaches me to comment without actually clicking but scaling it back to two months is still over a trillion. Sure, why not?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Its 1000 every 2 weeks for 2 months, so 4000 x 270 million. A little over a trillion in two months.

        Unless im really bad at math.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Maybe I missed it in the article, but did they even present the total bill on that idea?

      I get it…why not just hand out the trillion?

    • Suthenboy

      I know what I would spend that on and I dont think Mark would be happy about it.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Hookers and blow or a boat full of items that cannot be accounted for?

      • Suthenboy

        I am too old for hookers and never had any use for dope, so….

      • Suthenboy

        Maybe I should buy some stock in random gun manufacturing companies. Ohhh, ohhh and rope companies. Pitchfork manufacturers?

      • EvilSheldon

        Groceries and gas, to compensate for the currency devaluation? Me too! What a coincidence!

      • Ownbestenemy

        Its true I think my meat poundage just increased from 100lbs on hand to 250lbs on hand.

      • Not Adahn

        Are we still talking about blowjobs?

    • Urthona

      All we gotta do is collect another 7 trillion in taxes while incentivizing more Americans not to work or generate income.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      I’ll see your bet and raise you “I think Americans should get a blowjob at least every 2 weeks. Even the women.”

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I read that as “Even from women.”

      • Gadfly

        This raises an interesting question: on average, who gives the better blow-job, straight women or gay men? And would this have any bearing on who you would want giving you one?

      • Mad Scientist

        Lookit’ Mr. Stingy over here! I see no reason why hardworking Americans should have to go 13 days between blowjobs. My policy group has studied this extensively and calculated a national investment in blowjobs every 6 days will dramatically stimulate the economy.

      • Urthona

        Although this is a positive right that actually piques my interest, I’m just skeptical of the quality of government blowjobs. On the other hand, If this was an ass raping, I’d say this government has many decades of experience.

      • Rhywun

        It’s not fair that the blowjob-rich should get free blowjobs when those of us who are blowjob-challenged only get the standard amount.

      • Urthona

        We simply need to redistribute blowjobs from the rich to me…er… I mean the poor.

        By the rich, of course I mean all those who get more bjs than me.

        Which is probably everyone.

      • Mad Scientist

        I guess we’ll just have to institute a blowjob tax, the proceeds of which will go to pay for blowjobs for the needy.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        To each according to their needs, from each according to their abilities.

    • Suthenboy

      Frogs are gay?

      • ruodberht

        The oddest thing I (eventually) found out about the GAY FROGS rant was that it was…actually based on a chemical that made frogs gay (to a first approximation). The craziest thing he said was…kinda true?

    • Ownbestenemy

      Never thought Id live through a time where either the whole world falls in darkness or it erupts into warfare.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I was a history buff as a kid and I used to wish I had been born in Ancient Rome. I never wished to have been alive when the Vandals were on their way though.

      • Ownbestenemy

        There are a lot of time periods I fantasize about and they all bookend the violent periods for a reason.

        Maybe this will propel us to the next great age of mankind…

      • Rhywun

        Why not both?

      • Ownbestenemy

        You know how to cheer me up

    • EvilSheldon

      Never underestimate the power of dim, frightened people with limited agency.

      • Suthenboy

        *hits gong*

        This x 1000

    • Ted S.

      Can lockdowns prevent drugs from falling out of people’s asses? :-p

    • The Gunslinger

      We need to start using the current lockdown to practice hanging heavy things from tall lampposts in the town square. Just so we’re prepared if any heavy objects need to swing from lampposts during a climate crisis.

  43. Shpip

    In other news that’s too local, the government schools show that they’re serious about keeping their students safe from the coof.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Drugs…ass…all that jazz.

    • Tundra

      I watched the video. It was disgusting. The cop is manhandling the noisy chick and no one even attempts to de-escalate.

      • Ownbestenemy

        But was she hot?

      • Tundra

        She was pretty fit. Gave the cop some trouble.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Hey Tundra saw you were committed to getting the senior pup. Good! I had to turn in early to do work in the wee hours so didnt get to respond.

      • Tundra

        Yep! On the hunt now.

        My boy is 13. I think a puppy would just annoy him.

  44. Ozymandias

    Sorry to drag forward a comment form the dead music thread, but I wanted to publicly say thanks to Plisade and thought some of you musicians nerds here wouldn’t mind.

    Plisade: Thank you for this. I played trumpet for about 10 years as a kid (5th grade through end of high school). I never got any of this because trumpets are (1) a straight treble clef instrument, and (2) pitched in B flat. I took one theory course in high school and I learned the circle of fifths, but none of it “came together” for me. I mean, I could read music and key signatures, but…. *shrugs*

    Random thoughts a la Derpy:
    At the age of 40 and I bought my first guitar. NOW I needed to learn the fret board on my own. I stumbled across a lot of theory stuff, but none of it was quite organized in a way that helped me get my head fully around it. After 6 years, I was certainly a lot further along in understanding I-IV-V if for no other reason than learning the blues. I finally stumbled onto the thing I had always wished I could play but could never have afforded when I was younger: piano. I’m 4+ years into it. NOW it’s starting to make some sense (and I still enjoy those little A-ha! moments when some piece of the musical puzzle clicks into place). The piano keyboard makes a lot of music theory much, much clearer because it’s so evident visually.

    When I was in China, I got intro’d to their traditional instrument (for women, usually) the guqin. There are 7 and 21 string variants, blah blah blah. What fascinated me was that the Chinese notation I saw was numerical (yeah, math… with Chinese… go figure), not alphabetic. And the “sound” we normally associate with Chinese music is because their string tunings tend to not include a 4th and 7th. That’s how we recreate “Chinese” sounding music – no 4th or 7th.

    Under the Trivium, the true medieval “classical” education, learning music was considered essential because music is “math in motion.” Look at how we break up music into measures, and keep time in fours (or 8s), unless your Brubeck and you’re trying to prove you can “Take Five.”

    No matter what you think about the theory, if you ever have a chance, I cannot highly enough recommend the book “This is Your Brain on Music: The Science of a Human Obsession”. It was written by a former session guitarist (Levitin) who became a sound engineer for some very, very famous musicians (Gladys Night, Joe Satriani, Blue Oyster Cult, etc.) And then he essentially pioneered the field of the neuroscience of music. That book changed my life – I got it as a birthday gift and after reading it bought the guitar mentioned above. It was a runner up for book of the year when it came out.

    • Not Adahn

      Music was part of the quadrivium

      /pedant

      • Ozymandias

        Yeah, I know, but (a) I’ve already got the rap about being too wordy, and (b) music was contemplated by the Trivium. All of the Quadrivium subjects were seen as the natural ‘extensions’ of the Trivium subjects in the world.

        the subjects of the trivium are the foundation for the quadrivium, the upper division of the medieval education in the liberal arts, which comprised arithmetic (numbers as abstract concepts), geometry (numbers in space), music (numbers in time), and astronomy (numbers in space and time). Educationally, the trivium and the quadrivium imparted to the student the seven liberal arts of classical antiquity.

        So there’s your pedantry right back atcha.

    • Not Adahn

      Pretty sure NY beat them to that particular bit of nanniness.

      • Ted S.

        Nope; we’ve got a plastic bag ban with a 5¢ tax on paper bags if counties wish to implement that.

        (I actually paid the 5¢ for a paper bag today.)

      • Rhywun

        we’ve got a plastic bag ban

        Which is either “paused” or ignored; it’s hard to say which since I haven’t seen any official report of it. But my usual supermarket is back to plastic. The other one is strictly BYOB and Rite Aid is still illegally charging for plastic. ?‍♂️

      • straffinrun

        Yeah, that’s a weird article. “ Eight states have banned plastic bags, according to the National Conference of State Legislatures.“ Doesn’t jive with the headline.

      • straffinrun

        Never mind. *Gets coffee*

      • Ted S.

        Yeah, I was going to tell you to re-read the headline, or the first paragraph:

        TRENTON, N.J. (AP) — Single-use plastic and paper bags, as well as Styrofoam containers would be banned in New Jersey under legislation that passed the Democrat-led Legislature Thursday. While some states impose a fee on paper bags, New Jersey’s lawmakers say the state would be the first to ban paper bags.

      • straffinrun

        It’s so absurd that my mind insisted on changing “paper” to “plastic”.

      • Not Adahn

        same

      • Not Adahn

        Oh. Well. Paper? Really?

        How about cardboard boxes? Who wants to be the first to ban them and show how environmentalism’s really done?

      • Sean

        Poor Amazon.

      • UnCivilServant

        You have to bring your disease-laden “reusable” bag that takes more resources than the disposable ones over the average lifetime of the bag.,

      • Rhywun

        It’s almost like they enjoy coming up with this shit just to point at us and laugh.

      • straffinrun

        Ban shopping.

  45. straffinrun

    Mornin’. Govt: No indoor dining! BLM: No patio dining! Keep this up and it’s gonna be lead dining.

  46. Sean

    It’s dipping down into the 50s tonight. Should I bring my hot pepper plants indoors or will they be ok overnight?

    I brought them in when it was down to the 40s, but I’m on the fence with 50s.

    • UnCivilServant

      I don’t think putting your peppers on the fence is a good idea.

    • Tulip

      I’d leave them, but I like to live dangerously

    • UnCivilServant

      My takeaway – “When did they make four Toy Story Movies?”

      • Rhywun

        Or “why?”

        I like some of the Pixar movies but never got into that franchise.

      • UnCivilServant

        Why is easy – Cash grab.

      • Rhywun

        Yeup.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        The first one was what? 95? Second was around turn of the century. Third was maybe 10 years ago. 4th was a couple years ago. Out of them all, the 3rd kinda sucked, but the rest were pretty good. I was 7 or 8 when the first one came out, so the franchise is nostalgic.

      • blackjack

        Cars, I understand, that one’s cool a/f.

  47. straffinrun

    Things I love: Sitting on the morning commuter train next to hostess club gals with smudged make up going home after an all night shift. The fake diamond earrings really pull the look together.

  48. Derpetologist

    Greetings! I’ll be offline most of this weekend, so I figure now’s the time to fire all of my guns at once.

    Speaking of which, why is it that rotating bolts are more common than straight pull or toggle like a Luger pistol? Seems like straight pull would be simpler mechanically and more ergonomic. Olympic shooters strongly prefer straight pull.

    Good to hear from Evan. For a guy missing a chunk of skull, you make very few typos.

    sad bear gets extra petting: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvKVGL95wDw

    spider dances to YMCA: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xYIUFEQeh3g

    After 6 months of patiently waiting for the gyms to get to normal, I gave up and bought and exercise bike. I wish I had done so months ago. Now I can listen to music I like while I read and pedal. Got it on Monday and already pedaled 220 miles. I’d have gone farther, but for optimal performance, I need beer to cool my reactor and lubricate my bearings. 19 days booze free and counting. I also lifted the 145 lb atlas stone onto a 15 inch post and then onto a 30 inch one. Next feat of strength will be to do the same with the 175 lb stone. And then lifting to the 40 inch post.

    • UnCivilServant

      Seems like straight pull would be simpler mechanically

      It’s not. Locking the bolt is simpler with a manual rotation so that you have solid lugs that hold the bolt in place when firing. It was based off the way to lock an old timey door bolt, hense the term “bolt action”. Getting a stright pull to lock requires a less simple mechanism.

      • Not Adahn

        ^This. Olympians prefer them because they’re faster, not simpler, cheaper, or more rugged.

      • Derpetologist

        Huh. There’s a straight pull variant of the Ruger Mini-14 made for the UK market.

        ***
        TRIZ is “a problem-solving, analysis and forecasting tool derived from the study of patterns of invention in the global patent literature”. It was developed by the Soviet inventor and science-fiction author Genrich Altshuller and his colleagues, beginning in 1946.
        ***

        I used this site to see what gun design tips it could find for reducing complexity while keeping some other feature.

        http://www.triz40.com/TRIZ_GB.php

        No interesting results yet.

      • UnCivilServant

        A straight pull mini 14 is simply maintaining as much of the aesthetic and mechanism as the semiautomatic version as possible. More or less it would be disabling the system that cycles it automatically and adding one to manually cycle it.

    • DEG

      Go to Bloke on the Range’s channel and look at his Mad Minute videos.

      The Lee-Enfield dominates for speed, but the Schmidt-Rubin does quite well.

      The big reasons are reloads and how far your hand has to move. The Lee-Enfield is well designed for fast bolt manipulation. The bolt handle is close enough to the trigger so that you can keep your thumb and forefinger on the bolt handle while working the trigger with your middle finger. Bloke demonstrates this technique in the video.

      Bloke noted that the Schmidt-Rubin was easier to shoot fast than the Lee-Enfield, but the Lee-Enfield wins for speed.

      The Schmidt-Rubin straight pull bolt is not all that complicated but is more complicated than some turn bolts.

      Note also familiarity plays a role in why turn bolts are more common. Mauser sold their rifles all over the world. The British used the Lee-Enfield all over the world. The Swiss rarely exported Schmidt-Rubins if at all until after they stopped using the Schmidt-Rubin as a military rifle. The Austrians never exported the Steyr-Mannlicher straight pull. There were some commercial sales of the Ross, but it was a niche rifle. The flaws in early military models didn’t help.

  49. Derpetologist

    incredible archery, based on ancient warrior skills: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BEG-ly9tQGk

    This reminded me of the Cuties brouhaha:

    ***
    “My Ding-a-Ling” is a novelty song written and recorded by Dave Bartholomew. It was covered by Chuck Berry in 1972 and became his only number-one Billboard Hot 100 single in the United States.[1]

    The lyrics with their sly tone and innuendo (and the enthusiasm of Berry and the audience) caused many radio stations to refuse to play it. British morality campaigner Mary Whitehouse tried unsuccessfully to get the song banned.[4] “One teacher,” Whitehouse wrote to the BBC’s Director General, “told us of how she found a class of small boys with their trousers undone, singing the song and giving it the indecent interpretation which—in spite of all the hullabaloo—is so obvious… We trust you will agree with us that it is no part of the function of the BBC to be the vehicle of songs which stimulate this kind of behaviour—indeed quite the reverse.”[5]
    ***

    • Rhywun

      Shit that never happened – Seventies edition.

    • Not Adahn

      Chuck Berry never had a US hit? Really?

    • kinnath

      I have many friends that are serious archers. This video is crap. He never makes a full draw.

      There are big differences between European and Mongolian shooting styles (drawing the string with the fingers versus with a thumb ring). The arrow is on opposite sides of the bow for each style.

      Look up videos of people doing Mongolian archery from horseback. Those people are real.

      • Derpetologist

        So he shoots fast, but would be unable to hit anything more than a few yards away? It would be interesting to see if he could hit distant targets just as well.

      • kinnath

        He is shooting Styrofoam targets and getting almost no penetration.