Tuesday Frustrated Afternoon Links

by | Sep 29, 2020 | Daily Links | 392 comments

Just spent all morning in what I thought was a planning meeting, but was actually a hoping meeting. I could tell, because people kept talking about what they were hoping we could get done, and there was no real prioritization, just a bunch of moving shit around. At least three different people who I would put on the doer side of the doer/manager divide asked a different version of “so what’s the priority?” And the answer was “yes”. As they used to say that 18 months I worked construction, “plan your work, work your plan; fail to plan, plan to fail.”

He’s not the only guy who would run a scam to keep a chick that hot in toys. Damn, son.

Republicans pounce, Trump seizes on what does appear to be an illegal ballot scheme.

I think I’d rather have yesterday’s French guy teach at my kid’s kindergarten.

Found my next job. This is the 21st century I was promised.

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

392 Comments

  1. Brochettaward

    I’m drunk and still First. Proving once and for all that DUI’s are a conspiracy.

    • Agent Cooper

      You mean Cons’ Piracy. RETHUGLIKKKANZ!!!!

  2. Certified Public Asshat

    Republicans pounce, Trump seizes on what does appear to be an illegal ballot scheme.

    Some people did something, again.

    • AlexinCT

      In the dnc operatives with bylines circle, when democrats are caught committing crimes the problem is always how republicans react…

      • Ownbestenemy

        WaPo says right leaning sites use it more! Excluding context like you just pointed out, of course.

      • Hyperion

        I mean c’mon man!

  3. J. Frank Parnell

    He’s not the only guy who would run a scam to keep a chick that hot in toys.

    Yeah, looks like it would cost at least an arm and a leg to keep her happy.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Probably well worth it too..she looks good on that boat.

      • Florida Man

        No. It’s never worth it.

      • Mad Scientist

        Right? As a former boat owner, I agree.

      • Sensei

        The two happiest days!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        These 2, right here

      • Idle Hands

        Boats are terrible in every imaginable way It’s as sane an investment as paying more than you need to and donating to the us treasury.

      • Tundra

        “If it floats, flies or fucks – rent.”

      • Plisade

        Relevant… “If you can’t eat it or fuck it, break it.”

      • Brochettaward

        That aint my body type and she’s a butterface. If I were in a fucking wheel chair missing limbs, sure. But if I’m dealing with cash for tits I expect more.

      • Ownbestenemy

        We know you’d fist first yourself for a chance at it.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Unnecessary correction.

    • Idle Hands

      yeah not my type at all.

      • SugarFree

        Hooter’s waitress gone to seed.

      • Count Potato

        So if you blow on her like a dandelion you get a field of Hooters’ waitresses?

      • SugarFree

        Didn’t you see they have kids? The next generation of Hooter’s waitress is already here.

        As for the boy, I’m sure he’ll find himself a sugar momma when grows up.

      • Idle Hands

        she’s like piss off your first wife Floridian trash gf material for a month but after that it would be better just to take your devest all your money and put into your house and light it on fire than shack up with her. The results the same.

      • Not Adahn

        Those abs aren’t what I think of when the phrase “gone to seed” is used.

      • SugarFree

        She’s keeping it tight, no doubt, but she can’t work at Hooter’s anymore.

      • Rhywun

        She looks like a dude. Specifically, this one.

      • Lackadaisical

        Anyway, the bigger problem is all the pictures of her in bikinis posted online. What a cuck.

    • blackjack

      Imagine if she didn’t love him?

    • Hyperion

      She’s not all that attractive, too skinny on a not good body, and some plastic boobs. Pass.

    • Swiss Servator

      *Fiercely narrows gaze*

    • Sensei

      I’d expect the “moderators” and afterwords the “media” to run as much interference as possible.

      The question is will it raise to the level of “who are you going to believe, me or your lying eyes?”

      • Ownbestenemy

        But Wallace is going to be ‘as invisible as possible”! Its going to be either a slow train wreck or a dumpster fire.

      • Lackadaisical

        +1 ‘fact’ check during the debate

      • Hyperion

        “I’d expect the “moderators” and afterwords the “media” to run as much interference as possible.”

        Right now, CNN and the NYT are furiously cranking out ‘greatest debate performance in history’ articles. And they will post them even if Joe is face down on the floor mumbling incoherently, 3 seconds after the debate starts.

    • Brochettaward

      There has still never been any hard evidence that the Russians hacked anything. The troll farms they have officially charged for interference in the election are such a joke that no one with a half a shred of integrity would even take them seriously.

      There was no Russian conspiracy. And I’ve been saying this for 4 years now.

      • Drake

        Of course not – if it was true, the DNC would have let the FBI examine their servers.

      • Rebel Scum

        They bought a few thousand dollars in Facebook ads and that swung the election to Drumpfler, or something. Never mind that Her Shrillness outspent Trump more than 2:1.

      • Bobarian LMD

        She failed to hire the right Russians.

      • Cy

        I disagree with prejudice.

        Hunter Biden wasn’t wired $4MM dollars by a Russian Oligarch for no reason. We just know about the money right now. We don’t know why.

      • R C Dean

        The Clinton Foundation didn’t get tens or hundreds of millions of dollars from various Russian oligarchs for no reason, either.

        But I don’t think there was a Russian conspiracy around the election.

    • leon

      And then nothing happened.

      Unless people like Brennan get time in Pound me in the Ass Prison, then the GOP are a bunch of spineless

      • Idle Hands

        controlled opposition.

    • leon

      Also, i knew this was a Hillary story since she was the first one to push it back when they lost. It was almost immediate.

    • Idle Hands

      Literally all they have is projection. It’s fucking incredible.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        In her case, it’s straight up lying and obfuscation.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      Has anyone brought up the name of the investigation, Crossfire Hurricane? Because to me it sounds like the crossfire was between the FBI and the CIA.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      somebody needs to put together a timeline of primary sources (with no editorialization) showing all the pieces of the puzzle here. I’ve seen enough to start hanging people by their toes, but hell if I can keep it all straight.

      • Plisade

        In appendix I of Dan Bongino’s book, Spygate, there is a really good timeline.

    • Hyperion

      “Trump needs to beat the shit out of Biden tonight for this horseshit.”

      It’s not really possible to debate Biden. He just makes a mockery of the entire thing. If anyone saw him debate Ryan, then you know what I mean. He just looked around the room with a stupid grin the entire debate and about the only thing he would say is some variation of ‘c’mon, man, you know, we all do it! You did it too!’. And it had Ryan completely dumbfounded. I don’t think this will work on Trump.

      If I were Trump, what I would do is just troll him, like:

      Hey Joe, what’s that thing sticking out of your ear, seriously, I can see it, what is that? And watch when Joe reaches for his ear, because he will, he’s not all there these days.

  4. Count Potato

    “He’s not the only guy who would run a scam to keep a chick that hot in toys. Damn, son.”

    Unfortunately or not, IG is blocking my network, and DM is too lazy to put up their own pics.

      • Sensei

        Forced to use Yamaha motors after the untimely demise of Outboard Marine… Not even the Canadians could keep it alive.

        Oh wait, that wasn’t what you meant?

      • Count Potato

        Thanks 🙂

      • Lackadaisical

        Wouldn’t touch her with a 9′ pole *rolls eyes*

  5. Rebel Scum

    Trump seizes on conservative group’s claim of fraud in Minneapolis election

    It’s on video…

    • Ownbestenemy

      Thats just a man taking donations for poor Somali refugees and has nothing to do with the ballot being handed to him /Fact Checker

    • J. Frank Parnell

      Sure, but:

      Minnesota Democrats countered Monday that Republicans are trying to “subvert a fair and free election.” They also challenged the legitimacy of the allegations from Project Veritas, a group with a controversial history of using undercover tactics and selectively edited video to try to expose what they say is corruption on the left and in the media.

      emphasis added because nothing to see here folks, move along.

      • Brochettaward

        Project Veritas always dumps all video evidence un-edited. Yet there’s that line that appears in every left wing rag about a story they break.

      • AlexinCT

        It allows the usual morons to dismiss the video as deceptive editing, which is enough fore them not to feel shame they are a fucking bunch of criminal supporting douchebags.

      • leon

        Because once, a long time ago, they edited the video and so now it will always be what the left will talk about when Project Veritas gets someone. Like i said. The problem is never what Veritas catches people doing, its that Veritas caught them doing something.

      • Lackadaisical

        As soon as i saw it was them I swore, because I knew nothing would come of it. No one on the left can believe anything they film.

      • Hyperion

        Nothing will be done. They’re saying Trump is calling on the local AG to do something. They people in the video are clearly saying that all the local officials are in on it.

        And.nothing.else.happened.

        And this type of shit will continue until there is nothing left to defend of the country. It will be just one more 3rd world shithole in which the corrupt in power will steal every dime and then the money will be worth less than toilet paper.

        I’m not talking decades from now. The democrats only need one term with a super majority and we’ll have a billion refugees here.

      • Lackadaisical

        Things won’t degrade that fast, but no doubt there are consequences to letting in ‘refugees’. I’m all for skilled immigrants, but fuck people with shitty cultures.

      • leon

        Anyone who catches us doing illegal things is the problem! Just like how the problem wasn’t what Hillary’s emails said, but that Wiki Leaks shared them.

      • Hyperion

        Let’s put it this way. I watched a documentary, I can’t remember the name right now, about the way politics are done in some African countries. It’s just pure corruption, typically family based, where one family gets into power and runs things like the mafia. And it’s just accepted there, it’s the way things are done.

        I’m just saying, this sounds a whole lot like that.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Again, the pollster was being a good person when the other person dropped money out of their pocket when they were trying to find their ID to fill out the ballot. /USA Today Fact Checkers

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That’s just bringing third world voting techniques to the USA.

      • AlexinCT

        I have already heard people dismiss this and claim it is a bad orange man conspiracy to go after poc…

      • Brochettaward

        Omar is maybe the dirtiest politician currently operating. She provides no real value to the Democratic party. I can’t comprehend the hard push to protect her. She’s going to go down eventually because she’s that damn corrupt. She has no future and her seat is safely in the hands of the Democrats.

      • kbolino

        Why would anyone protect people like Page and Strzok? Besides their temporary political usefulness, they are utterly lacking in redeeming qualities. Yet plenty of effort was expended to paper over their failures and moral failings. Why? Because 1. they were company (wo)men, 2. “embarassment” must be avoided at all costs (it also implicates others), and 3. enough people are willing to buy the bullshit that it’s better to deflect, deny, ignore, and counter-accuse than to own up.

      • AlexinCT

        Why would anyone protect people like Page and Strzok? Besides their temporary political usefulness, they are utterly lacking in redeeming qualities.

        If you start throwing the peons under the bus, they might suddenly start singing like canaries and bring you down….

        The people that participated in this criminal endeavor all have people above them that they need to protect, all the way up to Obama & Clinton, and so the general consencus is that nobody gets sacrificed for fear the shitshow detonates like a postule on a $2 hookers ass when you are slapping it.

      • Pope Jimbo

        The local Somali rag had already issued the definitive denial of all these allegations. (same link as below)

        The accuser is actually the Somali who has integrity issues
        Ilhan said there is no truth to any of this
        No one actually saw fraudulent ballots
        Ballot harvesting isn’t really even illegal
        Project Veritas is a pack of liars

        You get the drift

      • leon

        If you make it legal, it’s not voter fraud.

      • kbolino

        Somehow this idea coexists with “hate speech is not free speech” but ne’er the two do conflict.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Their response:

        Under Minnesota law, an individual can return up to three ballots for additional voters. The person returning those ballots must show ID, sign a log, and provide personal information for the voters.

        But on July 28, two weeks before the August primary, a district court struck down the three-ballot limit. That meant there was no limit to the number of ballots an individual could return—though they still had to go through the process of showing their ID, signing a log, and providing personal information for all the voters. On September 4, the state Supreme Court reversed that decision and reinstated the three-person limit.

        One of the Snapchat videos appears to be dated July 2. Still, there was a period of time around the August primary when Minnesota had no legal limit on ballot collection.

        See there was a period of time that it was OK to drive around with hundreds of ballots! Yeah that video wasn’t from that time, but still!!!

      • Lackadaisical

        …right? what the fudge, well, when people want to be misled, I guess it is that easy.

      • leon

        And they will continue to talk about how the Trump Campaign talks about voter fraud with “no evidence”.

  6. Florida Man

    I think the rocket paramedics is more likely to become a casualty than help a victim.

    • Count Potato

      I thought the same thing.

    • Fourscore

      Well, they are jetsuits, so even if they are a victim they’ll be forgiven.

      • Pope Jimbo

        I read that as jesuits and think the Catholic church that I’m pope of is totes going to start equipping our prelates with this technology. No more sermons, just a nice arial acrobatics demonstration. The Flying Friars.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      Biden just dominated Trump with his very non-senile performance

      lol

    • CPRM

      The Trump campaign has denounced the poll as “fake news,” even though the poll was made using numbers and a computer which are common instruments of science.

      Nailed it!

      • Lackadaisical

        Almost… I think there needs to be more of an appeal to authority there to really capture the essence.

  7. Pope Jimbo

    Hope you h8t3rs are ready for a truth bomb!

    This article clearly demonstrates that Trump and Amerikka are trying to frame poor Ilhan Omar.

    In the video we see a man apparently named Liban Mohamed driving around with white envelopes saying “money is everything” in a car filled with envelopes he alleges are absentee ballots. Who is this man?

    Liban Mohamed is allegedly responsible for collecting ballots from elderly residents of Ward 6. Wade Buckley, Jamal Osman’s campaign manager, confirmed with the Star Tribune that Liban is Jamal Osman’s brother. But he said that he never heard of any efforts to force or pay residents to vote for Jamal Osman.

    The video from Project Veritas alleges that Liban collected ballots to help Jamal Osman win the Ward 6 city council election. Snapchat videos from Liban Mohamed posted in July show him in a car with envelopes. In the video, Liban Mohamed says, “You can see my car is full. All these here are absentee ballots. Can’t you see? Look at all these, my car is full. All these are for Jamal Osman.”

    What we don’t see is whether the envelopes contain fraudulent ballots.

  8. Not Adahn

    He said it meant a paramedic could “fly” to a fell top in 90 seconds rather than taking 30 minutes on foot.

    But let me guess, it currently only carrys 20 seconds worth of fuel?

    • Mad Scientist

      Seems like quad would cost a lot less, have more cargo capacity, the ability to bring the injured person back down, and get there almost as fast.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Ask that triple amputee how cost effective that quad of his is…

      • Swiss Servator

        *strongly narrows gaze*

  9. DEG

    President Donald Trump and Republican lawmakers in Minnesota called for an investigation Monday into a conservative activist group’s allegations of illegal mail-in ballot “harvesting” in a special Minneapolis City Council election this summer.

    Good.

    In other election news

    Republican lawmakers in Pennsylvania asked the U.S. Supreme Court on Monday to put a hold on a ruling in the presidential battleground state that extends the deadline in November’s election to receive and count mailed-in ballots.

    Republicans, including President Donald Trump’s campaign, have opposed such an extension, arguing that it violates federal law that sets Election Day as the first Tuesday in November and that such a decision constitutionally belongs to lawmakers, not the court.

    Republicans also object to a portion of the state court’s ruling that orders counties to count ballots that arrive during the three-day extension period even if they lack a postmark or legible postmark, unless there is proof they were mailed after polls closed.

    “This is an open invitation to voters to cast their ballots after Election Day, thereby injecting chaos and the potential for gamesmanship into what was an orderly and secure schedule of clear, bright-line deadlines,” lawyers for the Senate’s two top Republicans wrote.

    • Rebel Scum

      If the ballot is not where it is supposed to be on election day by the close of the polls then it is invalid.

      • dbleagle

        Even my idiot state has that provision. It remains to be seen if the Federal judge (aka Mr. universal jurisdiction) will enforce state laws.

    • Rhywun

      extends the deadline in November’s election to receive and count mailed-in ballots.

      That’s the most brazen attempt at stealing an American election I’ve ever seen. It’s breathtaking.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I’m just in awe at some of this stuff. It makes me seriously conflicted about how to stop these people. The founders must be rolling in their graves watching us piddle around with angry comments on the internet.

      • Lackadaisical

        I mean, they dressed up and rioted and stuff, so I dunno, seemed like olden day shitposters if you ask me.

      • R C Dean

        The breezy disregard, and rewriting, of duly passed state statutes on elections by state and federal judges is just staggering. I’ve never seen anything like it. I am seriously rethinking my views on judicial review and authority. It truly does not matter what the legislature or the governor does. There is no check, no limit, that I can see on the judicial branch.

        May even write a post on it.

      • Lackadaisical

        The only check is on how they’re appointed by the other 2 branches.

        Well, they can be impeached, but that never happens.

  10. DEG

    Who could possibly have foreseen this?

    In February, Lorri Evans’ mom was walking the equivalent of four blocks, twice a day, around her memory care facility in Santa Cruz, California. “She used a walker for support,” Evans says, “but her legs worked fairly well for someone who is 99.”

    “Just a year ago, she was dancing at my daughter’s wedding,” Evans says of her mom, Helen. “But now, she’s fallen into an abyss.”

    When the coronavirus pandemic hit the U.S., sending long-term care facilities into lockdown, Helen was confined to the second floor of her complex — where her room was located — for months. Her outdoor walks ceased, and so did her mobility. She became bedbound. Her mind, already battling dementia, deteriorated, too.

    In May, she was placed in hospice. In July, Evans brought her home to begin what she believes will be the final months of her mother’s life.

    “Look, I’m sure she would have declined somewhat, but I know in my heart the isolation accelerated it,” Evans says. “She would have made it to well over 100 but that’s not going to happen now. … She’s collateral damage of this COVID-19 seclusion, passing away because of a broken heart.”

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      My buddy’s mom is experiencing the same thing. Her mental decline since the start of lockdown has been precipitous, and the family can’t visit.

      • Fourscore

        A friend’s sister passed away a week ago, pretty much house bound but with other complications. My friend said her sister started into dementia only a few months ago. I really liked her, she was always kind and happy, though there was a language barrier. Same age as me. Her husband died in a re-education camp in VN many years ago.
        No covid, since she rarely left her home but scared to death.

    • Count Potato

      Sad.

    • LJW

      Not to devalue the womans life, but any virus could have come along and done that to her, sorry it’s not worth destroying an economy and countless lives over. I know I am a selfish monster.

      • LJW

        Oh derp I completely misread that. I thought she got Coronavirus. Never mind that previous comment I am a dummy.

      • Drake

        But you are right – she should have been permitted to keep living her life and if she died of a virus, oh well.

      • LJW

        True my point still stands.

    • Drake

      I talked to my mom last night. She’s bored out of her mind and should be doing much more than sitting around the house being scared by the news. But they have her absolutely paranoid now. I’ve given up even talking to her about the covid bs. Not sure if we’ll see her over the holidays or not.

      Life is for living, I will not let these liars scare me. If my dad was still around, he’d snap her out of it.

    • B.P.

      Both of my parents had the wisdom to pass away before all of this. Had they not, I’d probably be in some sort of confinement for choking out some senior living facility Nurse Ratched or health department gauleiter.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Same as my Wife, unless she did die of the ‘vid, we’ll never know…..

      • Pope Jimbo

        My dad and I were just talking about one of the silver linings of my mom passing away last year was that at least no one could use her passing to pad the Rona stats.

        It would have galled me to have Gov Walz stand on her body as proof that we need to obey his one man rule harder.

    • Chipwooder

      I mean, hell, last Thanksgiving my grandpa (age 96) was in an accident that resulted in some nasty, but not life-threatening, injuries and a long period of being bedridden. He deteriorated quickly after that and passed away in January. No WuFlu necessary, so yeah, I can absolutely believe that some very old people are having their lives shortened simply by being confined to a room.

    • mrfamous

      I have both my parents in assisted living, and it really is heart breaking that they’re essentially on house arrest. Both are youngish (in their 70s), but my dad had a stroke a couple of years ago and my mom is not in very good health due to self-neglect. Both are okay at the moment.

  11. Pope Jimbo

    Remember that restaurant owner who said his store should burn during the Minneapolis riots to help ensure justice? Turns out he might not be the saint people thought he was. He’s being accused of sexual harassment by a bunch of women who worked for him.

    Story really is only mildly interesting. Just another example of “be careful of who you call a hero”. Except for this quote from a journalo:

    According to the complaint, Ava’s difficulties at the restaurant began in January 2018, when she became aware of unwanted sexual comments from a male staff member toward former server Maddie Harrison, who was the only woman working during an evening shift.

    Ava said she brought the issue to her fellow managers shortly after it happened, and then spoke to the restaurant’s human resources representative about it, demanding that the male staff member “be held accountable for his behavior,” as “female servers were becoming uncomfortable working with the male staff member alone.”

    I guess they wanted help working on that male staff?

    • Not Adahn

      Owner Ruhel Islam

      Peter Christian, a lawyer

      Just another Christian persecuting Islam. The crusades never end.

      • Lackadaisical

        *sigh* If only.

    • Chipwooder

      That definitely merits a Nelson Muntz “Ha-ha!”

    • Lackadaisical

      Heh, why do these lefties always seem to have some horrible baggage?

  12. grrizzly

    Good news from Spain.

    • SugarFree

      That was an eldritch barnacle from outside time.

      • Bobarian LMD

        That’s why it throbbed.

      • pan fried wylie

        That performed two-way wireless communication with her strategy team. I don’t care what the underlying hardware is.

    • Raven Nation

      I think there was an accusation that either W or Rove had some kind of receiver under their suit jacket.

  13. LJW

    “Found my next job. This is the 21st century I was promised.”

    And if the patient doesn’t make it, the paramedic can take off and cremate the deceased all at once.

    • RBS

      “Dispatch, yeah, there is no patient at this location…”

      • Swiss Servator

        “Do call the Fire Brigade, though, if you please”

  14. Florida Man

    Work is all but forcing us to get the Flu vaccine and encouraging us to get it on Friday since a decent amount of people are getting sick from the vaccine. I think I’ll get mine on Wednesday and have a 4 day weekend. Assholes.

    • SugarFree

      I didn’t get sick when I had mine. I was worried work would force me into quarantine if I came up with a fever from it.

      • Florida Man

        Two coworkers said it put them on their but all weekend. I’m hesitant to get it because I never get the flu anyways.

    • LJW

      I swear I have some genetic immunity to the Flu. I’ve never had it, but I still get the flu shot every year. No issues except for a sore arm.

      • Pope Jimbo

        No issues except for a sore arm

        From patting yourself on the back for your super immunity? (just kidding)

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I dont get sick, or infections, never knew why….

      • LJW

        After hitting submit I saw that going two directions. Yours and a NSFW direction.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Why aren’t we doing phrasing anymore?

        Yeah, I definitely was going the other way with that one, but I got here late.

      • DenverJ

        I have never had the flu in 51 yrs

    • Lackadaisical

      I don’t think they can really force you, right?

      You already have to wear a mask all the time near others(which is super effective), so it should be totally fine.

    • Hyperion

      Does a flu vaccine kill the commie cooties? Sounds like ‘obey citizen’ training to me, just like the masks.

    • Rebel Scum

      Is the magic practical?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Guaranteed to add lesbianism into it.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Like the insane amount in Ratched? Like the show but apparently every woman in or around mental health in the late 40s, early 50s was a lesbian.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Lesbianism is so hot right now. One might say it’s tight.

      • Chipwooder

        Yeah, I never thought I’d say this, but the amount of girl on girl action is getting to be a bit much.

      • Count Potato

        Well, if it were between Rachel True and Robin Tunney I would be all for it.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      *watches trailer*

      I’m supposed to believe a girl with C-cup boobs is just now having her first period?

      • Hyperion

        Sure, man. And she’s 11. It’s the hormones they inject into beef, duh.

  15. Rebel Scum

    Allow me to wax dishonest.

    When asked if he has concerns over the president’s finances, Brown said, “Of course. We have followed Trump. Most American banks won’t — quit financing Trump years ago. He turned to Deutsche Bank, and Deutsche Bank is an outlier and an outlaw among many of the world’s banks in the world’s legitimate banks. Trump is clearly—there’s something that Putin has on Trump. We hear everything ranging from sex tapes to huge debt that he owes, money as Kamala Harris pointed out. A lot of money he owes to somebody.”

    He added, “And so clearly, some things are going on there, and we should know what they are. Trump clearly doesn’t want the public to know. It’s why his behavior toward the autocrats, particularly Putin, is so sordid and un-American. I think that the more we know, the more even Trump’s base will begin to turn against this president who has betrayed not just workers in Youngstown, Ohio, but he’s betrayed our country by what he’s done internationally with the Russians and other autocrats.”

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

      We know who he owes money to. That was just leaked. At what point to people like this get labeled as the functional retards that they are?

      • Bobarian LMD

        When they start talking about Democrats?

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      I hear Putin has sex tapes of Senator Brown shagging goats.

      • leon

        Ewe!!!!

      • Ownbestenemy

        You rammed that joke through didn’t ya

      • Agent Cooper

        Yeah. It was baaaaad.

    • Hyperion

      I find it hilarious how they keep calling Trump an idiot, yet they can’t find a candidate to beat him, even with the entire media and the deep state totally against him. It can only mean to me, that they are even dumber.

    • LJW

      They were open for maybe 6 months here. We went once, the food was awful.

      • Chipwooder

        Oddly enough, Buffet’s sister has a restaurant in Gulf Shores AL that’s pretty good for a casual burgers and fried seafood type place.

      • dbleagle

        They had one on the beach in Lahaina on Maui. I never went but would pass it. Land Shark beer is (was?) horrible.

      • Spudalicious

        That was a looong time ago.

  16. KibbledKristen

    I have to submit an access request to go into the office building to pick up some personal stuff* that’s been in my desk since March

    *shoes. It’s shoes. Lots of shoes.

    • B.P.

      Tell them it’s yogurt.

    • Count Potato

      I forgot about your brief affair with Ferdinand Marcos.

      • Bobarian LMD

        KibbledImelda?

  17. Rebel Scum

    Quit trying to make me like you.

    “This is a no win situation,” Musk said about the coronavirus lockdowns. “It has diminished my faith in humanity, this whole thing.” …

    “I’m not at risk, neither are my kids,” Musk explained to “Sway” host Kara Swisher as his reasoning.

    Musk later commented on Bill Gates’ skepticism of the billionaire’s coronavirus beliefs. Gates claimed Musk didn’t know much about vaccines and didn’t want Musk to “confuse areas he’s not involved in too much” in an interview with CNBC back in July.

    “Gates said something about me not knowing what I was doing,” Musk told Swisher. “It’s like, ‘Hey, knucklehead, we actually make the vaccine machines for CureVac, that company you’re invested in.’”

    Musk’s approach to coronavirus is to not do a full lockdown, but just have everyone “at risk” quarantined “until the storm passes.”

    “What we have is something with a very low mortality rate and high contagion,” Musk explained. “And something that is of low risk to a young person is of high risk to an older person. Essentially, the right thing to do would be to not have done a lock down for the whole country. But to have, I think, anyone who is at risk should be quarantined until the storm passes.”

    • LJW

      Why does everyone point to Bill Gates as the COVID expert? Did he go back to school and get a virology degree?

      • AlexinCT

        The guy did manage to make billions peddling crappy shit….

      • Cy

        *crappy stolen shit

      • Ownbestenemy

        Every idea is stolen in some way or another, crappy or otherwise.

      • EvilSheldon

        He’s tossed a few billion into immunization and public health nonprofits. It’s pretty much the same thing as having a virology PHd…

      • invisible finger

        You know how many viruses you can get from Microsoft products?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Not once, ever, I call shit security on the end user

      • Lackadaisical

        nice.

      • mrfamous

        Because the TPTB like what he says to say on the subject.

    • KibbledKristen

      Considering I tend to pull down and left when I shoot, I probably shouldn’t participate either

      • Ownbestenemy

        They have medication that can help with that..so I heard.

    • Lackadaisical

      Dumbest thing I’ve seen today. Congrats.

    • Grummun

      The best part is the dope looking around like “huh? huh? pretty cool, right?”

      Shouldn’t he have powder burns all over his face?

  18. Count Potato

    “The Babylon Bee wrote a satirical article claiming that the liberal 9th Circuit overturned the death of RBG.

    USA Today then published a 1,200-word fact-check with 15 sources to determine that, no, they do not believe this happened for real.”

    https://twitter.com/Brian_Riedl/status/1311026851943505921

    “The Biden campaign and DNC War Room teams have secured the handle @Truth
    on Twitter, which they will use to fact-check President Trump in real time during Tuesday’s debate, a campaign aide confirms to CNN.”

    https://twitter.com/sarahmucha/status/1310996171792560133

    • Count Potato

      “An editor at a national newspaper assigned a “fact-checker” to determine whether Ruth Bader Ginsburg had been raised from the dead by court order. It took that fact-checker a week to review over a dozen sources of information and conclude “based on our research” that this had not happened. Imagine being the editor who thought this was a good use of journalistic resources, or the writer who took this assignment this seriously. On the editor’s part, that is an admission that you either have too many reporters working for you or that you have the world’s worst news judgment and should never work as an editor of anything ever again. It is not even possible to satirize modern “journalism” that produces this sort of hackery. It would have been too much to include in Idiocracy. There’s a reason people look at Donald Trump, of all people, and say, “hey, I’d rather trust that guy than the newspaper.””

      https://www.nationalreview.com/corner/the-stupidest-fact-check-in-the-history-of-fact-checking/

      • Semi-Spartan Dad

        “An editor at a national newspaper assigned a “fact-checker” to determine whether Ruth Bader Ginsburg had been raised from the dead by court order. It took that fact-checker a week to review over a dozen sources of information and conclude “based on our research” that this had not happened.

        I mean, “raised from the dead aside”, I’m a little surprised that a Hawaii or CA judge hasn’t yet issued an injunction against Trump to prevent the seat being filled before the election.

        I’m not up on the legalese, but I assume it mean the injunction would stand if the SC deadlocked 4 vs 4 with Roberts upholding.

    • B.P.

      How has that twitter handle been hanging around for a decade (or however long twitter has been around)?

      • Ownbestenemy

        Campaign expenditure…I am sure it was a hefty price, either monetary or in promises.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        “You can have your way with Kamala for 20 minutes. She’s talented enough to get the vice presidential slot”

      • Pope Jimbo

        How much more would it cost to have her put on her clothes and leave immediately?

        * When she was first being anointed as the front runner, I had only seen still pics of her and they made her seem somewhat attractive. Then she was on the debates and it became clear the pictures had been carefully framed and probably airbrushed because she wasn’t that attractive live. And combined with her voice she became a real man wilter for me.

      • pan fried wylie

        she became a real man wilter for me

        “She’s a real plate of hot lettuce.”

    • Ownbestenemy

      Yeah I really hope the Bee eviscerates them. I linked that yesterday and couldnt believe they researched it with sources.

      • Pope Jimbo

        Maybe it is just a really smart journalo who swindled her editor into a paid day off?

        She waited until the editor was super busy and then yelled “Hey I’m going to do a fact check about RBG story” and he said, sure get in in by tomorrow.

        Then she spent the rest of the day at a spa getting massaged and drunk. The next day she spent 10 minutes writing up a fact check on the Bee?

      • Ownbestenemy

        You are too kind

    • Agent Cooper

      “@Truth on Twitter”

      So, preaching to the choir?

  19. Rebel Scum

    Suckers.

    Washington (CNN)Joe Biden on Tuesday released his 2019 tax returns, which show he and his wife, Jill, paid nearly $300,000 in federal income tax last year and had an adjusted gross income of about $985,000.

    Biden’s release of his 2019 tax returns come hours before the first presidential debate and two days after The New York Times reported that President Donald Trump paid no federal income taxes whatsoever in 10 out of 15 years beginning in 2000. Trump paid just $750 in federal income taxes in 2016 and 2017, the Times reported. Trump has not released his tax returns to the public, which breaks decades of precedent for major-party presidential nominees and presidents.

    California Sen. Kamala Harris also released her 2019 tax returns on Tuesday, which showed that she and her husband, Doug Emhoff, paid about $1.2 million in taxes and had an adjusted gross income of about $3 million.

    “This is a historic level of transparency and it will give the American people faith once again that their leaders will look out for them and not their own bottom line,” Biden deputy campaign manager Kate Bedingfield told reporters on Tuesday, noting that Biden has now released more than two decades of tax returns.

    I don’t see the relevance. If Bad Orange Man did something illegal he’d be prosecuted.

    • The Other Kevin

      I wouldn’t think the IRS would by shy about any problems they found.

      • Ownbestenemy

        His response tonight when the moderates will surely bring it up should be “I yield my time to the former Senator and Vice President to explain how I followed all the rules and breaks he has put in over his 40+ years in Government, Mr Biden, the floor is yours.”

    • B.P.

      So this is what these disingenuous dicks are going to talk about all night during the debate.

      Dear America: We will tell you what you are allowed to talk and think about.

      Thanks,

      Journolist

    • Urthona

      So Donald Trump donated 100% of his income to charity and paid no taxes whereas Joe Biden donated 1%, and Biden is the better human being. Right?

      • AlexinCT

        HIS MONEY WENT TO GOVERNMENT SO THEY CAN IMPLEMENT SOCIAL JUSTICE YOU EVIL ASSHOLE!

        /progtard..

    • Certified Public Asshat

      Hey taxpayers, this fuck is getting a $200k pension.

    • Pope Jimbo

      Why isn’t the question: How is Joe Biden raking in $985K a year on a Senator’s and teacher’s salary?

      • one true athena

        I’m curious how many ‘gifts’ Hunter has made to his dad in the last, oh, ten years. That 3 MM from the Russian lady was paying for something, and I don’t think Hunter’s that good in the sack.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Speaking engagements? Book deals?

    • EvilSheldon

      If Bad Orange Man had committed tax evasion on a historic scale, I’d probably vote for him a few extra times.

    • Lackadaisical

      Better question is why these useless fucks are making millions/year. Just selling us down the river, the fuckers.

      Easy to pay taxes on money you didn’t work hard to earn.

    • DenverJ

      Maybe we’ll get a fact che Kerry to explain how people like Trump can pay millions in taxes, but none of it maybe from personal income.

  20. Chafed

    There is no photo of the Chinese teacher who murdered her 25 students. I’ll just assume she crossed way over the crazy/hot divide.

    • Mad Scientist

      She poisoned 25 students. Only 1 of them died.

      • Ownbestenemy

        So…not dangerous crazy just a little crazy. Now we need the hot or not pic

      • Count Potato

        She also allegedly poisoned her husband.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Then she is a hero? /Portland Protester

    • Urthona

      Chinese media doesn’t get what’s really important.

  21. Certified Public Asshat

    Nearly 70% of Americans say they’re done with coffee shops after becoming at-home baristas

    Half of Americans have become “quaristas” during 2020, according to new research.

    A survey of 2,000 coffee drinkers revealed 49 percent of respondents have become at-home baristas during quarantine, using their time inside to develop their coffee-making skills.

    Two-thirds (66 percent) of those have so much faith in their newfound talent, they plan to continue using their barista knowledge to make coffee in their own kitchen — even once the pandemic is over.

    100% of the New York Post doesn’t understand math.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      What the hell does this mean? Was Mr Coffee just a figment of my imagination?

      • Mad Scientist

        Look, man, warming up water and pouring it through some ground up beans is a difficult skill to master, just like changing a tire by yourself.

      • Spudalicious

        I don’t know whether to pity you, or envy you.

      • The Other Kevin

        It’s just another case of millennials thinking they’ve invented everything, even things that have been around forever.

        Next up: Drinking water that doesn’t come in a bottle!

      • Certified Public Asshat

        I don’t even own a television Starbucks gift card.

      • Ted S.

        I do, only because my sister gave me them as gifts.

        She used to give me Dunkin’ Donuts gift cards when she lived in Massachusetts, it the she moved to Minnesoda where they don’t have any DD.

      • Rhywun

        Lucky Minnesoda.

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        Joe DiMaggio said Mr. Coffee was the best he ever had, and he was married to Marilyn Monroe.

      • Lackadaisical

        legit LOL.

        I like instant the best, ‘brewed’ in 100% milk.

      • Rhywun

        It means we’re in a pandemic and making coffee is something that happens during a pandemic so let’s write something about that.

    • thepasswordispassword

      [i]Conducted by OnePoll and commissioned by the Mr. Coffee® brand ahead of International Coffee Day,[/i]
      Sounds reliable to me.

    • invisible finger

      I think the skill is saving $100 every month.

      • pan fried wylie

        Nah, they’re probably spending 50% more to DIY it.

      • Agent Cooper

        K-cup coffee costs approximately $86/pound.

      • blackjack

        Don’t I know it. Major Dickinson’s Blend. Pretty close to a dollar a pod.

    • DenverJ

      So why is the line at Starbucks growing longer every week?

      • Swiss Servator

        They all found out they suck at making coffee?

  22. Certified Public Asshat

    I suspect @JoeBiden could do well tonight. Don't be fooled by his gaffes. He is a seasoned and feisty debater.— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 11, 2012

    Has everything already been tweeted?

    • creech

      Trump had better clobber Biden tonite or it looks like it is all over. My county GOP contact says their latest internal polling shows Trump losing more ground after last week’s covid 19 “coverup”, the SCOTUS hullabaloo, and the leaked tax returns. Biden was running 2% ahead of where Hillary was in 2016 when she was up 5% on Trump (she won by 4% in the county); Biden is now up 9% among likely voters. Biden is doing something approaching 20% better than Hillary did with those registered independent, and is garnering close to 25% among professed Republicans (Hillary got 14%). Take into account the mail balloting situation and Penna. is poised to go back Blue. Does anyone know of even one state that went for Hillary is now leaning for Trump? Not looking forward to the chortling and “Madame President” signs on Nov. 4th.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Well, its not to discount, but people’s desire to express their opinions have been chilled for the past 4 months to 4 years regarding Trump.

        Die hards will express adoration but the middle of the road we don’t want our neighborhood burning folks might have clamed up.

        Who knows really. What COVID coverup? Did I miss something?

      • leon

        I’m fairly bearish on Trump. I think it would be hard for him to win. Riots and such seem to not have budged anything.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Depends on who you are polling and how the question is framed. Main Street is all but forgotten now and there is no way any pollster will even ask them an honest question.

      • Lackadaisical

        I really truly want not Biden to win, I mean, we’re fucked if Democrats get control.

      • Urthona

        The GOP is losing ground after naming a justice that the majority of Americans want confirmed?

      • AlexinCT

        Proglogic…

        You make money at the low price all you can eat buffet in volume!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Why is your county the bellwether of events, we are heavy trump here, I didnt expect that

      • Chipwooder

        Which county is this?

      • creech

        Chester County PA – soccer moms and single educated women. Biden only needs to sway 44,000 PA voters and a 5% swing in Chester County is 15,000 alone.

      • grrizzly

        You said that Hillary won your county by 4%. But wikipedia claims that she won it by 9.4%. Something doesn’t add up.

        In 2016, despite Pennsylvania voting for a Republican presidential candidate for the first time since 1988, Chester County voted more Democratic than in 2012, with Hillary Clinton leading Donald Trump by over 25,000 votes or 9.4 percentage points; a 4.8 percentage point swing from 2012.

    • B.P.

      I said this yesterday in a dead thread (Wah! Nobody reads my stuff!) that Biden will do fine tonight. All he has to do is spout meaningless platitudes (“Protect the middle class!”; “Follow the science!”; “21st-century jobs!”) over and over, no matter what the topic/question is, and he’s capable of that. For that, he will be characterized by the media as The Leader We Need Right Now. Leon (I think) noted that many on the right have overplayed the Joe-is-senile angle, which I think is right. He may be slipping some, I don’t know, but he’s capable of firing off well-rehearsed lines for his portion of 90 minutes. Also, as a strategy, one shouldn’t set one’s opponent up as incompetent and expect to get a pat on the back for besting the incompetent opponent.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Unless Wallace channels his daddy and actually asks tough questions and demands responses other than platitudes…that is probably inline with what the outcome will be given the Ohama Beach naval bombardment level of cover that will be laid down by the media.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Omaha…phone is dyslexic

      • Frosty

        Thanks, Ohama!

      • Certified Public Asshat

        Leon (I think) noted that many on the right have overplayed the Joe-is-senile angle, which I think is right.

        Maybe not senile, but very frail at least.

      • J. Frank Parnell

        spout meaningless platitudes (“Protect the middle class!”; “Follow the science!”; “21st-century jobs!”) over and over

        I also expect him to not attempt to refute anything that Trump says, just claim that whatever Trump just said is a lie. We’ll probably see some head shaking and muttering “that’s not true” while Trump is talking, followed by a “Sir, I ask that you stop lying to the American people!”

        Post-debate analysis by the media will consist of thunderous applause at the way Biden spoke truth to power and finally tried to hold Trump accountable for all his lies.

      • B.P.

        Oh, this will absolutely happen. “There you go again” is now the free square in Presidential Debate Bingo.

      • Rhywun

        Hey, it worked for Reagan.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Thats a bingo spot right? If not it should be

      • Lackadaisical

        Yup. Most people won’t watch, but they will read what others say about it (at least the headline).

        Our only hope is those Quiverful people and the Amish.

      • B.P.

        Since the media never grants the public unfiltered access to Trump speaking, if he can manage to not sound like an asshole and make a few sensible-sounding comments about his record, a few folks tuning in might think, “This isn’t the insanity I’ve heard about.”

        Then again, everybody’s pretty much locked in at this point, and will wish away/ignore anything bad their chosen person says.

    • Urthona

      I don’t think he did it.

    • blackjack

      This is one of the most serious abuses of power that have come out of the burn/loot/murder movement. That kid far exceeded most people’s ability to make crucial decisions under extreme duress. He should be held up as a hero. Nope, he’s facing a life sentence.

      • leon

        I don’t think they can get 1st degree murder to stick?

      • blackjack

        Yeah, he’s still, at this minute, in jail for 1st degree murder, for shooting a guy who hit him in the head with a skateboard and tried to take his rifle. Pure sop to the BLM terrorists to please stop burning things. Disgusting. It’s all on tape. Being tried for murder is not a picnic. Especially when the kid displayed almost super human restraint. All of those charges and if one sticks, he goes to prison. He didn’t do anything wrong.

      • Ownbestenemy

        He showed up from out of town…that much he did wrong but that was a young man’s poor choice.

      • Mad Scientist

        Out of town was a few minutes down the road.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Hyperbole isnt here so just trying to fill in.

      • Lackadaisical

        Literally asked to be there by locals, and in the city where he worked.

        I get your Hyperbole comment, but still.

      • blackjack

        Yeah, fuck that. He went to the next town over, cleaned off marxist graffiti, brought his medical kit and tried to help put out a fire. The rioters attacked him and tried to take his rifle. The only fault That’s real is the misdo minor possessing a deadly weapon, which I believe is bullshit anyway. The bald midget caused this whole thing and his mob of sycophants worsened it.

      • Ownbestenemy

    • Lackadaisical

      Jesus man. I don’t get why they didn’t get him out on bail though.

    • Florida Man

      All of boondocks is offensive. That’s why it’s funny.

    • LCDR_Fish

      Have they actually talked to Aaron McGruder? I bought the treasury collections of the Boondocks strip and the first 3 seasons on DVD – that stuff is funny even if I disagree with some stuff politically.

      • Florida Man

        He’s a communist, but he is honest and self reflective.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Don’t know if I dug that deeply in research at the time – but he at least knows how to write other characters with decent dialog and interactions. I mean, it’s like Shakespeare compared to 95% of the “diverse” tripe on HBO, etc – Uncle Ruckus notwithstanding.

        Hell…we even got Ed Wuncler posting here.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Also wondering if this crap is why I’m gonna have to import season 2 of Black Dynamite from Australia to watch on hard media?

    • J. Frank Parnell

      Shake “learns what it’s like to be a stereotype” after being bitten by a radioactive Black man

      Damn, how did I miss that one.

    • Rhywun

      I’m reminded of that Stephen King story where something in the water turned everybody stupid. I can’t think of any better explanation for what’s going on.

      • Hyperion

        Fluoride. The tinfoil hat brigade was right all along.

    • db

      “I’m just a dog. I only know a few words. Like “ball.” And “good.”

      …and “RAPE”

    • Lackadaisical

      I mean, the whole point was to be transgressive. Fucking pussies.

      I guess now that they think they’re in power it is no longer cool. Cowards.

  23. Pope Jimbo

    From the previous (dead) thread on the CDC’s recommendation to have virtual Thanksgiving Dinners:

    So you are saying that I now have an iron clad excuse to not have to listen to the progressive yahoos in my family lecture me on why Trump and America are the worst?

    I don’t think the normal people will miss Turkey Day that much this year. It will either be non-stop crowing about how great it is that Biden lost or non-stop lecturing on how failed our country is and Trump is Exhibit A. (or worse, litigation could still be going on).

    From my own personal experience, the proggies will be way harder hit than the regular folks by this. How will they be able to virtue signal? I’m sure Slate and whatnot will be publishing “How to Zoom Explain to Your Racist Relatives about Trump”

    • Florida Man

      I’m hosting again this year. I expect all the north Florida family to show. I expect none of the SoFlos to show. Completely different cultures.

      • pan fried wylie

        you say “SoFlo” but not “NoFlo”?

      • Florida Man

        I’ve never heard anyone say NoFlo. I’m not sure why.

      • DenverJ

        No Flo is a brand of feminine products, and so is trademarked.

    • Ownbestenemy

      I am glad to have restrictions on us. My brother would just ruin it. His new operating system was upgraded to retort with “look, it doesn’t matter which side..” only to pivot straight to Bernie.

    • DenverJ

      It will still be in court, unless someone wins by a landslide- which is doubtful.

  24. Rhywun

    “so what’s the priority?” And the answer was “yes”

    I see you work at every company I’ve ever worked at.

  25. Ownbestenemy

    Until there is a deluge of these cases, it won’t matter. But good on them

    • Rhywun

      “Suck it up, buttercup.”

      /dreamy luv-guv

      • Lackadaisical

        …and nothing else happened.

        That is a really great picture of him btw. Makes one dream of woodchippers.

  26. Bill (Door) Baggins (a Skellington)

    To whomever shared the frinkiac.com link this morning, thank you for linking me to a very useful service!

    Also, damn you for ruining a day of productivity.

    • Hyperion

      Fuck, is he dead? WTF?

      • Count Potato

        I don’t know, but fuck.

    • Spudalicious

      The plane belongs to someone who loaned it to the campaign. It’s not leased by the campaign.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Good enough to print!

      • Lackadaisical

        rofl, if true.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Hahahahaha. Excellent! Just a BB, thats what a multitool is for.

    • AlexinCT

      We used to do stupid shit like this with bbguns when I was a kid all the time. When we ran out of bbs we would chew paper and shoot that at each other…

  27. R C Dean

    At least three different people who I would put on the doer side of the doer/manager divide asked a different version of “so what’s the priority?” And the answer was “yes”.

    There’s an Iron Law for that:

    If everything is a priority, nothing is a priority.

    Do I get a GIF for being 217th?

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      Is there a consulting gig that I can hire you for? We’ll pay top dollar for my managers to actively not listen to that exact iron law.

  28. Hyperion

    “Republicans pounce, Trump seizes on what does appear to be an illegal ballot scheme.”

    So, the people involved in the scam and other locals, say all the local officials are in on the scam. And we’re going to have a local AG investigate that. Well OK then.

    • Ownbestenemy

      We are too busy analyzing what makes a know a noose /FBI

      • Ownbestenemy

        Autocorrect always ruins things….knot…knot is the word I was typing.

      • Cy

        It’s really knot a big deal.

      • Ownbestenemy

        But it gets me all bound up when I do that.

      • J. Frank Parnell

        Try to hang in there.

      • Agent Cooper

        But maybe he’s at the end of his rope!

      • Hyperion

        My biggest client had one of those incidents, where someone walking nearby spotted a noose, on a construction site of course. And then they immediately started lecturing everyone on systemic racism and apologizing to someone, and actually got the FBI to investigate this. As you can imagine, nothing else was ever heard about this terrible incident.

      • Lackadaisical

        I just don’t see why they’d need a rope on a construction site /wokie

    • Hyperion

      “cosy, flower-covered cottages, home-made bread and hand-picked mushrooms”

      Look, cottage supremacy, attack!

    • Rhywun

      The shared desire many of us have for a stronger connection to nature and a simpler way of living speaks in some ways to an anti-capitalist sentiment

      OMFGLOL

      • Hyperion

        But you have to admit just how horrifying it would be for someone to witness these flower covered cottages and hand-picked mushrooms.

      • Rhywun

        Stuff so white I can’t even.

      • Hyperion

        I bet there was a white picked fence too. Enough to trigger someone forever.

      • J. Frank Parnell

        White picket fences are literally violence.

      • J. Frank Parnell

        I’m literally shaking just thinking about it.

      • B.P.

        A dacha is okay for certain better types, though.

      • Ted S.

        One of the advantages of capitalism is that if you want to drop out and live a modest life, it’s fairly easy to do so.

        If you want to drop out of socialism, good luck with that.

      • Rhywun

        Especially since socialism won’t let you drop out.

      • Hyperion

        Yeah, I’m pretty sure when all of the loony toons conducting all of these socialists hotel and CHOP type experiments, finally get their beloved socialism, the homeless people will get a place to live. In the camps keeping their ass busy doing slave labor. Or else they get beaten to death on the street they were living on, or stood up against a wall right then and there. Utopia! There ain’t no homelessness in Utopia, folks.

      • Lackadaisical

        Exactly, then they won’t be homeless people, but saboteurs of our great leap forward, and thus eligible for a one bullet ride to sleepy town.

      • Hyperion

        They don’t, all those bad people are in flyover, where all people are bad people. No one cares about flyover, which is why it makes so much sense to get rid of the electoral college. Nothing bad could possibly go wrong.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Couple that with Feinstein….yes complete theater

      • Hyperion

        Horror mask theatre, starring Frankenfienstein?

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      I think masks probably help in certain circumstances, but yeah, by yourself and outside, it’s theater.

  29. DOOMco

    So I come home from work and littledoom points at me and says dada.

    Has everyone prepared for next months escalation of politics?

    • Ownbestenemy

      Cherish that! And no

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Congrats. It will soon be followed by requests for money.

      • DOOMco

        She does have a habit of reaching for all my valuables…

      • blackjack

        Little kid, little problems, big kids…

      • Tundra

        NO MONEY!!

      • But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

        Phrasing.

      • Ted S.

        That’s not valuable.

      • Tundra

        Not anymore.

    • Tundra

      Awwww. Love the new picture.

      Prepared? No. Resigned is probably a better word.

      • DOOMco

        Im not ready to accept that we’re at this level of political noise now…

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I knew it would be worse than 2016, but if you had told me in January that it’d be like this, I’d call you a nutter.

      • Hyperion

        The globalists are shitting their pants and doing an all or nothing effort to keep control. Global warming and open borders was the plan, and they knew it couldn’t fail. It failed.

      • Ownbestenemy

        We all did no? Like I said before, it was fun and educational to play out the end of Western Civilization but to see it happen and be a player is not.

    • DEG

      So I come home from work and littledoom points at me and says dada.

      🙂

    • Ted S.

      The story would have been funnier if she pointed at your friend and said dada. :-p

      • blackjack

        My kid’s favorite.

    • Lackadaisical

      Good job surviving so far. The most meaningful thing we’ll ever do is raising the next generation.

  30. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I’m interested in what you guys think of this poem (about Frankenstein’s monster.)

    In one swift blow, arise! The fragments surge

    Of those dead creatures which I imitate –

    To learn, to know, to taste the fire of life,

    Which comforting and burning both proceeds.

    A frame that I have torn from countless men,

    And mind that until now was not my own,

    All twisted towards some purpose set by Him

    Who mocked the natural Law, then fled alone.

    Yet as this horrid life was sparked in me,

    My body a mass grave now undeceased,

    I must undo the threads binding each part –

    And lay this awful wretch to awful peace.

    • db

      Is that your own composition?

      My opinion is that it’s tragic that the Monster has come to the conclusion (for reasons unstated) that he must suicide. Is there other context that implies why the Monster wants to end himself, presumably after only a short life?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Not mine. My 17 year old son’s.

      • Ownbestenemy

        It captures the essence of the monster as Mary Shelley had written and the agony of not knowing what or who you are.

        It also captures what some feel when determined to take their own life.

        I think its good.

      • Tundra

        I agree. It’s creepy and tragic at the same time.

        And mind that until now was not my own,

        We all know who it belonged to, don’t we children?

      • Swiss Servator

        “Nicely done” is my thought.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Thanks. The kid is surprising me lately. His prose is even better, far and away better than my own.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        To wit:

        “A little-considered passage in Frankenstein is the scene in Chapter 11, at the beginning of the creature’s tale, in which he finds a fire, reaches into it, and is shocked that the same entity can bring about such intense comfort and agony at once. And truly, it is a metaphor for his existence, and his idea of life itself – that it is meant to be a violent force of both pain and pleasure. That said, he is given no comfort by the fire that is his being, for he does not understand his own value, and has never been given evidence that he has value at all, outside of base pleasure and pain. All he knows is that he is a pile of corpses given life and agony, a robbery of the dead; once he has confirmed that humanity is heartless and unempathetic towards him, he determines that his reasoning nature is of no value whatsoever, and becomes a storm of destruction – both of himself and those around him.”

      • blackjack

        Kid has talent.

      • Mojeaux

        I am very impressed.

      • grrizzly

        This is very good. I cannot appreciate English poetry–so inferior to Russian. But the prose is good.

      • CPRM

        Read the book man!

      • db

        I mean context in the poem. Of course the monster is a tragic figure and searching for meaning in the book. I guess the reference should be enough.

    • The Hyperbole

      Should be in limerick form.

    • Ownbestenemy

      That is saved for later after the debates to give context that humans do have the ability to be beautiful. Thanks dan.

      • DEG

        You’re welcome!

        I attended the 2016 concert which ended with fireworks.

        If you can find the broadcast of the 2016 concert, there is a bit during Ravel’s “Bolero” where a camera is pointed at some red flowers and spinning. A friend of mine and I were standing to the right of that patch of garden. There is no shot of either of us in the broadcast, which is OK. She’s much more photogenic than me, but I’d be in the shot too.

    • Lackadaisical

      Was the source familiar with his thinking?

      Also:

      The president’s alliance with religious conservatives has long been premised on the contention that he takes them seriously, while Democrats hold them in disdain. In speeches and interviews, Trump routinely lavishes praise on conservative Christians, casting himself as their champion. “My administration will never stop fighting for Americans of faith,” he declared at a rally for evangelicals earlier this year. It’s a message his campaign will seek to amplify in the coming weeks as Republicans work to confirm Amy Coney Barrett—a devout, conservative Catholic—to the Supreme Court.

      So I get to choose between people who disdain me, but give me power and those who disdain me and want to castrate my power? Tough choice.

      • Rhywun

        Democrats have been pandering to minorities for decades without taking them seriously, but that’s different I guess.

      • blackjack

        It is different, because Trump has actually lifted a finger to actually help Christians…and minorities.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        *rummages for that bee article about voting for the party that is less likely to make my faith illegal*

    • DOOMco

      Trump is Hitler?

    • AlexinCT

      Let me guess…

      Anonymous sources said he said this….

  31. Brochettaward

    I still have the other site on Facebook so occasionally a story shows up from them that I click on. In this one, Robby did me proud. It’s the best example of a struggle session I’ve ever seen. The professor wrote a story about how the country needs college football. This got him labelled racist. He wrote a piece grossly apologizing for his misconduct. He wrote:

    I learned that I could have titled the piece “Why America Needs Black Athletes.” I learned that Black men putting their bodies on the line for my enjoyment is inspired and maintained by my uninformed and disconnected whiteness and, as written in my previous article, positions student athletes as white property. I have learned that I placed the onus of responsibility for democratic healing on Black communities whose very lives are in danger every single day and that this notion of “democratic healing” is especially problematic since the Black community can’t benefit from ideals they can’t access. I have learned that words like “distraction” and “cheer” erase the present painful moments within the nation and especially the Black community.

    I am just beginning to understand how I have harmed communities of color with my words. I am learning that my words—my uninformed, careless words—often express an ideology wrought in whiteness and privilege. I am learning that my commitment to diversity has been performative, ignoring the pain the Black community and other communities of color have endured in this country. I am learning that I am not as knowledgeable as I thought I was, not as antiracist that thought I was, not as careful as I thought I was. For all of these, I sincerely apologize.

    I know it’s not anyone’s job to forgive me, but I ask for it—another burden of a white person haunted by his ignorance. To consider the possible hurt I have played a role in, the scores of others whose pain I didn’t fully see, aches inside me—a feeling different and deeper than the tears and emotions I’ve experienced being caught in an ignorant racist moment.

    Robby is unusually…glib in his take noting that the original article was completely milquetoast and that the response is almost so over the top that it raises the question of whether the professor was sincere.

      • blackjack

        Robby, like Judge Nap, is trying to sneak into libertarianism via the back door.

      • Lackadaisical

        …and that is just the way we like it?

      • DenverJ

        Mexicans, ass sex, and Mexicans. 2 out of 3 are now legal

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I chuckled.

      “ Mayhew is a real person, according to OSU’s website. I emailed him to confirm that the apology is sincere. “Were you held hostage while you were writing it?” I asked. “Blink twice if this is actually you.” Alas, he did not respond.”

      Clicking thru reveals Mayhew is in the Department of Education, which explains everything.

      • Lackadaisical

        Low IQ. Sad.

    • Lackadaisical

      In any other era, this would have been considered a clear ‘fuck you’ to the three named people he ‘thanked’.

    • Rhywun

      No job is worth that bullshit.

    • DenverJ

      If he wasn’t being sarcastic, then he should be laughed at for the rest of life.

    • Brochettaward

      If I understand this correctly this is an attempt at humor by The Daily Show?

    • Lackadaisical

      I… what?

      Did the daily show make something funny, or is someone making fun of them?

    • one true athena

      Notice the cowards stopped running it in June.

      It was fun while it lasted, though.

  32. Lackadaisical

    Been listening to “The Wealth of Nations’. It is quite good, interesting to hear him describing the early US.