Wednesday Afternoon Links

by | Sep 2, 2020 | Daily Links | 338 comments

Man, I have been in permissions hell. Getting new environments set up is always a clusterfuck of epic proportions. Especially since I am admin on nothing. But you know how it is, losers whine about not having access, winners read 37 stack overflow articles and — perhaps even scarier — the actual documentation and get it done.

US debt to exceed economy in FY ’21. Whee!!! Just keep printing it.

This will be more carefully managed than a space launch.

They weren’t extinct, just hiding.

Asian driver joke? I would never.

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

338 Comments

  1. Brochettaward

    Some people ask, “Bro when are you going to take a break? All that Firsting must be tiring?” Well, The Bro don’t rest. The Bro will keep Firsting even after they turn the lights out on all the seconders out there. The Bro’s Firsting knows no limits. It knows no bounds. Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays the Firsts unlike the doughy and soft postal workers of America.

    • Chipwooder

      The Bro?? It’s MANSSIERE!

      • Hyperion

        No, it’s Broketard.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I bet you play lacrosse.

    • Donation Not Taxation

      Brochettaward not first. Nothing referencing Brett L’s links.

      • Donation Not Taxation

        UnCivilServant first @ September 2, 2020 @ 3:02 pm. Not Brochettaward.

    • Old Man With Candy

      So you’re into Fisting? I had no idea. NTTAWWT. Wait, there is.

      • Cancelled

        It isn’t fisting; it’s live action sockpuppeting

  2. UnCivilServant

    Getting new environments set up is always a clusterfuck of epic proportions. Especially since I am admin on nothing. But you know how it is, losers whine about not having access, winners read 37 stack overflow articles and — perhaps even scarier — the actual documentation and get it done.

    If we try to do that, the CTO will remove our work and tell us to tell them what needed to be installed.

    Problem is they’re way too literal and we’d have to basically write out every step down to the keystroke to get what we need

    • Brett L

      That is where this will end up. I get a little bit of leeway because I’m the expert and the CloudOps director likes me. Some of that because I’m making his job easier and his position more important, but he’s also a genuinely nice guy who mostly gets people asking him to do something because they don’t have a clue, and I usually just talk to him about how we can make things easy, secure, and repeatable by other groups.

      • UnCivilServant

        Other groups don’t need to keep a twenty year old peoplesoft installation running behind a clutter of kludges designed to keep it from being popped open like an overripe melon by the first script kiddie to come along, so they’re not going to end up using the things we’re doing.

        This may sound hyperbolic, but it’s true – within the past few nights, I literally had a nightmare about having to go and get that system running again because someone changed something and it all broke.

        My vacation isn’t long enough.

  3. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I get all my technical knowhow from youtube videos of people typing code in.

    • Mad Scientist

      I glean mine from all the wrong answers on stackoverflow.

    • UnCivilServant

      I learned by trying to keep a decript Rube Goldberg infrastructure running well enough to process the data.

      I have a lot of bad habits as a result. I seriously doubt I’d be able to get a read job now.

      • Nephilium

        So you just do write jobs?

  4. The Late P Brooks

    They weren’t extinct, just hiding.

    Smart, too.

    • Not Adahn

      Those don’t look like singing dogs

      • Bobarian LMD

        My dog sings. As a puppy, I would sing to here when I gave her a bath and she’d howl with me.

        Now, every morning when I get up, her routine is:

        1. Eat her can of dog food.
        2. Go outside to potty.
        3. Scratch at the bathroom door and then whine at me until we sing ‘the cattle song’
        4. Upon completion scratch to leave the bathroom and go back to bed with Mommy.

    • Plinker762

      Surprising for some wop dogs

  5. Count Potato

    “there’s no word on whether Biden will answer questions”

    There’s no word on whether he can answer questions, even if they let reporters ask him.

    • Ownbestenemy

      He doesn’t call on reporters, his handlers do.

      • leon

        He’s just hustling everyone for the debates. He’ll come out swinging then.

      • Florida Man

        *Taps side of nose*

      • WTF

        Well the debate committees and moderators are being set up with Dem partisans and never Trumpers who will be sure to jump in and rescue Joe as needed.

      • leon

        What do you mean biased? We have Republicans Joe Scarborogh, Bill Chrystal and that bint from the washington post or whatever.

    • Count Potato

      “Thursday’s event will interrupt a Democratic nominee tradition of not going to Wisconsin.”

      He should have picked Bubba Smith as VP.

      • Gadfly

        If they didn’t interrupt that tradition after the 2016 results, I’d think they were trying to lose.

    • Donation Not Taxation

      ‘There’s no word on whether he can answer questions, even if they let reporters ask him.’

      They just did. Biden said words. Did not address substance questions. Whether Joe Biden ‘can’ when does not…

  6. The Other Kevin

    Good afternoon Brett! How was Disney World?

    • Brett L

      Great. We walked onto rides for the first two hours. Longest wait was about 30 minutes. I would do Disney more often if we could actually ride the rides instead of stand in the lines.

      • Gadfly

        I would do Disney more often if we could actually ride the rides instead of stand in the lines.

        This. My best memory of going to Disney as a kid (went to several of the different parks for a total of maybe a half dozen trips) was visiting Disneyland Paris in January. Spitefully cold, but rode rides non-stop.

      • Bobarian LMD

        i went to Magic Mountain the week after someone was killed on Colossus the year it was built (1978).

        The park was almost entirely empty except for the hundred or so of us on that school trip.

        Couldn’t go on Colossus, but everything else was wide open.

        That rocked.

      • westernsloper

        My high school buds and I made a trip to CA every spring break the latter years of high school as soon as we had drivers license’s. We hit Magic Mountain every year early 80’s. Colossus was a truly awesome and terrifying roller coaster.

      • Chipwooder

        I remember going to Busch Gardens once when I was a kid – late in the afternoon there was a big thunderstorm and the park shut down for a while. We went to get some dinner. After about 90 minutes the storm passed and everything opened back up, but most people had gone home. The park was open till ten, and for almost three hours we went on ride after ride with no line. I rode Loch Ness Monster like 10 times in a half hour.

  7. Florida Man

    Asian driver joke? I would never-

    Note to self; kamakazi attack against armored vehicle ineffective.

  8. Pine_Tree

    Yeah, if I were living in the wilds of New Guinea I’d be hiding, too.

  9. Gustave Lytton

    Setting up new work laptop, yesterday and today. All those wipes came in handy for making it almost look like a new model now. Data transfer utility (homegrown, of course) only failed once after four hours of processing. Now reinstalling a critical vendor application that the pc support guy forgot to load. Just happens to be one that takes several hours to download. Now disable sounds and touchpad clicking…

  10. The Late P Brooks

    Thursday, Biden will indeed travel to Kenosha, Wis. to “hold a community meeting in Kenosha to bring together Americans to heal and address the challenges we face. After, Vice President Biden and Dr. Biden will make a local stop.”

    Swing by a church for a foto op with the paralyzed guy’s uncle and a bunch of “black community leaders”?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      They’ll be keeping him fresh and perky with an assortment of mannequins with varying hairstyles.

    • Mad Scientist

      …to bring together Americans to heal and address the challenges we face…

      …every single one of which was created by the government. Vote for us!

      • Ownbestenemy

        So stealing the RNC convention speakers?

    • Donation Not Taxation

      Why do that? The (quoting The Late P Brooks) ‘paralyzed guy’ is (to quote Grope-y Joe) ‘a Trump supporter’.

      • Count Potato

        Her bio doesn’t look that bad to me, to be honest.

      • Rhywun

        “panic”

        Huh.

    • Chipwooder

      It was supposed to just be the picture…whatever

    • Gustave Lytton

      The custom abortion hoops really give it that extra oomph.

  11. Gustave Lytton

    Economists have long used letters of the alphabet like V and U to describe economic recoveries. But the coronavirus downturn is so different from past recessions that economists are coming up with new shapes to describe the potential recovery.

    Maybe try some German or Roman letters to describe it. Or just skip to flatline.

    • Semi-Spartan Dad

      Sounds like colonialism to me. Or imperialism. Or whatever the fad outrage word is.

    • grrizzly

      Every single one of my investment and retirement accounts has a higher value now than at the previous peak in February. Who cares about the real economy?

      • commodious spittoon

        *sheepishly raises hand*

      • DEG

        #metoo

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        Higher nominal value. Not so sure about the real value.

    • westernsloper

      i-^o

  12. Count Potato

    “while the armoured vehicle’s tracks on the right side were damaged”

    So you are saying there was a chink in its armor?

    • Mad Scientist

      ::STANDING OVATION::

      • Translucent Chum

        I just laughed out loud and had to explain to my wife. She gave me the stop being 12 look.

    • Plisade

      Yes, but only due to the occident.

    • KibbledKristen

      Awww man, I can hear my Ma laughing from the afterlife

  13. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I love having to sign into CAD software I own and use two-factor authorization every time I boot it up.

    • Ted S.

      You don’t really own it, then, do you?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        It owns me.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Thanks for reminding me. Have to migrate to the second MFA in the last two month because the new option I chose is no longer acceptable. Access yanked this coming Friday, notification email sent yesterday.

    • Count Potato

      I find the whole subscription/”phone home” software model very annoying.

    • Ownbestenemy
      • Bill (Door) Baggins (a Skellington)

        Nice one!

  14. The Late P Brooks

    I get all my technical knowhow from youtube videos of people typing code in.

    I can’t remember where I saw it. It might have been something linked from here…

    No, Wait. I do remember. There is this crazy Canuck who does a whole bunch of oddball highly entertaining youtube videos about tools and making stuff and technology.

    On one of his videos, he says if you want to find out how to do something, you don’t go on the internet and ask “How do I do this?” You post a detailed, and completely wrong, explanation of how to do whatever it is, and then sit back and wait for the tsunami of corrections.

    This guy

    • Gustave Lytton

      I love his videos. His ability to mangle English is phenomenal.

  15. prolefeed

    Thought experiment: if Trump had won in 2016 as the Democratic nominee, and pursued the exact same policies, and won the Democratic primary this year, would the MSM be falling all over themselves protecting him and painting his Republican opponent as The Worst Ever?

    Would we have had lockdowns and masks, or the MSM painting this as a minor disease, no need to panic?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      The Democrats are about one thing only, retaining power.

      Everything they accuse the GOP of doing is pure projection.

    • Apples and Knives

      They might be confused by his Supreme Court appointments, but whoever his opponent would be would = Hitler.

      • LJW

        With all of the recent findings, this may actually be true.

      • Idle Hands

        Really none of the information has changed we just have more of it.

    • LJW

      So would it have been Trump vs. Cruz?

    • Gustave Lytton

      Would we have had lockdowns and masks

      Yes. This isn’t politics driven, although politicians are trying to take advantage of any opportunities they perceive.

      If the Chinese had been upfront and open (hah!) from the start, rather than trying to hide the extent of what was going on, maybe it would have been different. I’d say 25% chance.

      • Idle Hands

        Partly true but It was entirely politics driven by May.

    • Idle Hands

      yes, no, no, yes, yes.

  16. commodious spittoon

    winners read 37 stack overflow articles

    Articles? We don’t read no stinking articles.

    • leon

      You’re there for the racey conditions?

  17. Mad Scientist

    You post a detailed, and completely wrong, explanation of how to do whatever it is, and then sit back and wait for the tsunami of corrections.

    Like this.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      LOL

  18. The Late P Brooks

    “Like this”

    I’d absolutely use that.
    Just make sure the schrader valve isn’t pointed at your eye during pressurization.

    • Nephilium

      So… go with a Presta valve?

  19. grrizzly

    The Failed Experiment of Covid Lockdowns
    New data suggest that social distancing and reopening haven’t determined the spread.

    TrendMacro, my analytics firm, tallied the cumulative number of reported cases of Covid-19 in each state and the District of Columbia as a percentage of population, based on data from state and local health departments aggregated by the Covid Tracking Project. We then compared that with the timing and intensity of the lockdown in each jurisdiction. That is measured not by the mandates put in place by government officials, but rather by observing what people in each jurisdiction actually did, along with their baseline behavior before the lockdowns. This is captured in highly detailed anonymized cellphone tracking data provided by Google and others and tabulated by the University of Maryland’s Transportation Institute into a “Social Distancing Index.”

    Measuring from the start of the year to each state’s point of maximum lockdown—which range from April 5 to April 18—it turns out that lockdowns correlated with a greater spread of the virus. States with longer, stricter lockdowns also had larger Covid outbreaks. The five places with the harshest lockdowns—the District of Columbia, New York, Michigan, New Jersey and Massachusetts—had the heaviest caseloads.

    It could be that strict lockdowns were imposed as a response to already severe outbreaks. But the surprising negative correlation, while statistically weak, persists even when excluding states with the heaviest caseloads. And it makes no difference if the analysis includes other potential explanatory factors such as population density, age, ethnicity, prevalence of nursing homes, general health or temperature. The only factor that seems to make a demonstrable difference is the intensity of mass-transit use.

    • leon

      We didn’t kill the economy enough.

    • LJW

      Now do the effectiveness of masks

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      The mass transit makes sense, buses and trains are disgusting petri dishes in the best of times.

    • Idle Hands

      jfc.

    • commodious spittoon

      Failed? They’ve demonstrated a willingness in the majority of Americans to abide by asinine restrictions without so much of a grumble in protest. In fact, most Americans embraced and celebrated their containment. They showed that they can carte blanche make up new and inconsistent rules and insist that not only are they perfectly reasonable and scientific, you’re an asshole and a bigot for pointing out the inconsistencies. They broke our spirits and we thanked them for it.

      • Idle Hands

        I’m not going to lie if and when the top pieces of the jenga tower hit the ground with the rest of us blue collars I might have a chuckle. The effect of the lockdowns haven’t and won’t be felt by the white collars for a couple of months. The whole economy is sales based there isn’t going to be anyone who has money to buy shit in like three months. We are all connected they took the bottom of the jenga board out and right now all that’s impacted are the blue collars but the blue collars owners are the ones who purchase a ton of the stuff the white collars provide.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Yep. Fucking idiots think it’s SimEconomy where they can just turn off bits here and there without any knock on impact.

    • Rhywun

      Correlation != causation.

      The likeliest factor I’ve seen is “how large is your household”. Which does correlate with most of the other factors being pushed, like mass transit, race, and class.

      • grrizzly

        True. But if there’s no correlation or it points in the opposite direction, then it’s hard to argue about causation

    • Count Potato

      paywalled

  20. KibbledKristen

    prolefeed if you’re still here: do you go to the MO History Museum often? There are some objects in there that I’ve been wanting to have photographed. The items are not on public display, so I’d have to arrange with a docent or curator to give someone access to take pics.

    If you go back there, would you be willing to do that? I can make the arrangements with the staff if you give me a day & time.

    • prolefeed

      This was literally my first time in Missouri, and thus the museum.

      And I’m now in Louisville, heading to Cincinnati tomorrow.

      Sorry.

    • Rhywun

      Wow, look at the sharp divides along certain state borders. That speaks volumes.

  21. Mojeaux

    Good, fast, cheap. Pick any two.

    Prospective client’s insisting on all 3, regardless of my prior commitments. I’ve got 8 hours in with this guy already between samples, brain picking, phone calls, and emails. I’m exhausted already. Sorry, dude. It’s not me. It’s you, and I’m cutting my losses.

    • Brochettaward

      No one breaks up with The Bro. No one.

      • commodious spittoon
      • Mojeaux

        The second amendment is my restraining order.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      We called it the CQD Rule

      Cost Quality Delivery, you can’t have nor provide them all.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      I demand all three damnit, plus cake.

    • UnCivilServant

      If I pick good and cheap, can you at least provide a ballpark for when it might be wrapped up?

      • TARDIS

        Is this a euphemism?

        Good and cheap is generally preferred. Take your time.
        Fast and cheap is good for time/money constraints.
        Good and fast is sometimes worth the splurge. Especially if you can get Mulligans.

      • Mojeaux

        My ballparks are generally wrapped up in buns.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Mo knows how to party.

      • TARDIS

        Indeed. Ballparks are shorter, but they plump when you cook ’em.

      • UnCivilServant

        So Ballparks are mostly empty steam cavities?

      • Mojeaux

        Girth is underrated.

      • Rhywun

        Oh my God.

      • Brochettaward

        I rate this conversation 9 out of 10 gays.

      • Old Man With Candy

        Fun trivia: Ball Park Franks were invented by my stepdad. The official story is bullshit other than it being a Hygrade product to start with.

      • TARDIS

        I rate this conversation 9 out of 10 gays

        As we are talking about buns instead of tacos, I’ll allow it.

      • slumbrew

        Girth is underrated.

        I keep explaining that to my wife.

      • UnCivilServant

        I have Johnsonville and Oscar-Meyer, but no Ballpark.

        And no buns. I might make another pasta sauce.

      • Mojeaux

        Part of the problem is that he contacted me 2 weeks ago and he has dithered so long that the time frame I gave him THEN now no longer applies. There is no fast in this equation unless he can cough up double what I quoted him. He does not seem to want to spend that kind of money.

        I had someone refer another someone to me. He was an arrogant SOB, from a country that culturally disdains its women. He TOLD me I was going to give him a discount because his mentor had referred him. He also made some other “request” in the form of a command. I declined to work with him. His mentor (from the same country, but much older and more humble) called me. I told him why, he chuckled, and that was that.

      • Mojeaux

        My sense is that he got sticker shock and is back pedaling to see how much he can get how fast for how little in an extremely passive-aggressive manner.

      • UnCivilServant

        That’s worse than haggling.

      • Mojeaux

        That’s one reason I’m so annoyed.

      • TARDIS

        How much time would you estimate to do a good job? Just curious.

      • Mojeaux

        Doing a good job is my default. Time is the problem. It would probably take me a good 8-12 hours to do it, but remember, I already have 8 hours and a lot of brainpower in this project for $0.

        He wants it almost yesterday and I’m eyeballs deep in two very big projects. When he first contacted me, I could have squeezed his in by pulling a couple of all-nighters, but I can’t now. If he DID pay me double to rush it back, I would pull a week’s worth of all-nighters cuz that’s a lot of money.

      • TARDIS

        Sorry. That sucks. I hope he really needs you. Then you can bleed him.

      • Mojeaux

        Naw, I’ve learned my lesson about doing that. That ALWAYS comes back to bite me in the ass. “I acceded to your demand, now give me ALL the attention!”

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      My grandfather had a construction business. He said it works like this. The customer haggles down on the price, changes the scope of the project, delays signing the contract, and then informs you that you are late.

  22. Drake

    Looks like the Koreans hit some variant of a M113. Not a particularly heavy APC, but it won versus the car.

    Saw a Humvee hit an Abrams once. Abrams undamaged, Humvee a pile of broken pieces.

    • LCDR_Fish

      Looks like an mrls or paladin resupply vehicle – pretty sure all m113s in reg army have been retired.

      • leon

        It’s a Mobile Command Post.

      • leon

        Typically used as fire direction center for artillery.

  23. Roland of Gilead

    I noticed in yesterday’s am links that R C Dean mentioned being hearing impaired. In today’s am links I saw Tulpa Lazer mentioned being hearing impaired. I have no hearing in my left ear thanks to a stupid tumor.

    Can any of you Glibs hear normally with both ears?

    If you can hear me raise your hand.

    • Mad Scientist

      My hearing works just fine, which is one reason why I don’t attend the Friday zoom meetings.

    • Ownbestenemy

      What?

      • Roland of Gilead

        Huh?

    • Bill (Door) Baggins (a Skellington)

      My hearing is pretty good. My sister was born partially deaf and then at age 10 had a tumor in her ear right ear and had all of the bones removed. So I’ve been around that.

      We did a genetic test as a family to see if there was something there with hearing, but it ended up negatory.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      *raises hand*

      Now I feel left out of the club.

    • Fatty Bolger

      I have normal hearing; my wife may disagree.

      • Roland of Gilead

        If my wife tries talking to me from another room I don’t even respond anymore. It just doesn’t work.

      • Lackadaisical

        Then you feel my pain.

    • Drake

      My last physical for the Army National Guard, I just watched some young guys taking the hearing test and pushed the button when they did.

      Rock concerts, machine guns, and that tank that fired its maingun while I was standing next to it. I can hear, but I can hear people a lot better when they aren’t talking through masks.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Wouldn’t you want the free hearing aids and disability $ – since you earned it? Or were you already at 100%?

      • Drake

        I wanted my reenlistment bonus and wasn’t getting if I failed. Now that I think about it, that was before that fucking tank firing a heat round while was standing 3 feet away from it.

      • UnCivilServant

        Does it matter what type of round it was? Or do they use more propellant/higher pressures on the HEAT rounds?

      • Drake

        I suppose not. It was even sound at that point. Just a giant slap that made me dizzy and my ears rang for days.

      • LCDR_Fish

        ok, when you said “last” I assumed it was the last year or right before getting out.

    • Chipwooder

      I’ve got tinnitus like a mofo, and generally bad hearing overall. Legacy of a series of major ear infections as a small child, a wayward adolescence spent listening to extremely loud music, and working out on the flight line.

      • Roland of Gilead

        Interestingly I have bad tinnitus in my left ear that I can’t hear any actual sound with.

    • TARDIS

      I hope they burn it down. Am I a bad person?

      • Mad Scientist

        It’s a condo. They’d be burning out his neighbors as well.

      • TARDIS

        Hmmm. *Reconsiders*

        But wait, did they vote for him?

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Any he’s so cucked that he’s still all in on their side after all of this. I just don’t get it, how can any self-respecting human being be such a blob of pliant jello?

      • The Other Kevin

        Look, they’re just rambunctious kids. They get a little overly excited sometimes.

    • Gustave Lytton

      One of his homes apparently. He’s got a place in the West Hills and in the San Juans, if twitter is to be believed.

      • Count Potato

        There aren’t any working class Marxists.

  24. Rhywun

    winners read 37 stack overflow articles and — perhaps even scarier — the actual documentation and get it done

    LOL I just said exactly this in not so many words during an interview this morning.

  25. Idle Hands

    https://twitter.com/TalKopan/status/1301244429399924737

    Pelosi addresses Monday’s salon incident:
    “I take responsibility for trusting the word of the neighborhood salon that I’ve been to…many times…It was a set up, and I take responsibility for falling for a setup.”
    “I think that this salon owes me an apology, for setting me up”

    This salon is going to be audited, hit with fines and forced to close forever for embarrassing her like this.

    • leon

      Pelosi is a special kind of evil person. Never embarrass an evil politican like that, if you aren’t ready to go to the mattresses.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Sorry evil granny, salon visits aren’t covered by HIPAA.

    • Ownbestenemy

      What an evil bitch

    • Rhywun

      Just… wow.

    • grrizzly

      If I were Pelosi, I’d blame Russians.

    • westernsloper

      CWAA

      • Ownbestenemy

        Just use the Pelosi excuse next time you are out and about

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        CWAC

    • Tulip

      I have to wear a mask while getting my hair washed at the salon. Fuck Pelosi

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      Shorter version: “The bitch set me up”.

    • Chipwooder

      Ignorance of the law is no excuse, eh Nance?

  26. Count Potato

    “Seattle protester arrested in DC had traveled from riots in Portland, Kenosha

    A Seattle-based man arrested during violent clashes near the White House had driven across the country to be there after attending riots in Portland and Kenosha, according to police and his social media.

    Jeremy Vajko, 27, says he spent more than 40 hours in custody after officers in riot gear were caught on camera yanking him out of his van covered in Black Lives Matter graffiti in Washington, DC, late Saturday.

    Although charges were dropped, DC Police Chief Peter Newsham highlighted the case in a press conference where both he and the mayor blamed outside agitators for violence in the capital.”

    https://nypost.com/2020/09/02/protester-arrested-in-dc-had-traveled-from-riots-in-portland-kenosha/

    OFFS!

    • KibbledKristen

      Fuckin tourists

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      He’s doing the riot circuit. For gods sake, charge the fucker.

    • invisible finger

      Anybody else remember the Peter Bagge comic at TOS where he interacted with a bunch of Seattle’s professional protesters?

    • mikey

      I’m getting this warm, nostalgic feeling like it’s 1958 again and I’m listening to the Del Vikings. First we get segregation in the schools again and now “outside agitators “ have made a comeback.

    • Drake

      “Charges were dropped”

      That’s for protecting us Mr. Policeman.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      The picture is about what I expected.

  27. UnCivilServant

    Really? Amazon couldn’t put some of that money into making a better search algorithm?

    I did a search on ‘samian ware’ to see if anyone was selling imitation roman pottery, and among the results were a number of varieties of Nuclear Fire Ramen

    • Not Adahn

      It’s simple Baysean reasoning. The number of bad spellers who want to buy ramen vastly outnumber the people wanting Roman fakes.

      • UnCivilServant

        the search term was ‘samian ware’, the word roman wasn’t even in it.

  28. Count Potato

    “Last night the CA State Legislature passed #SB145 and it now goes to Gov. Newsom. It would lower the penalties for adults who have sex w/ willing same-sex minors. Judge could decide if adult has to register as sex offender if the offender is within 10 years of age of victim.”

    https://twitter.com/BillFOXLA/status/1300895509071015936

    https://www.sfexaminer.com/news/wiener-legislation-seeks-to-end-blatant-discrimination-in-sex-offender-registry-laws/

    • leon

      It’s california, so i’m always going to give it the side eye.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Does this bill just put it inline with opposite sex partners or is a cutout for the Catholic Church and Boy Scouts?

    • Fatty Bolger

      Currently, while consensual sex between 15- to 17-year-olds and a partner within 10 years of age is illegal, vaginal intercourse between the two does not require an offender to register as a sex offender. Other forms of intercourse such as oral and anal intercourse require sex offender registration.

      That practice, according to Wiener, disproportionately targets young LGBT people, who usually cannot engage in vaginal intercourse.

      If this is true, then it’s long overdue.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Ten years difference is a bit of a stretch. Twenty five year olds and 15 year olds? And calling it consensual is a stolen base.

      • Fatty Bolger

        This doesn’t make it legal. It simply corrects the discrepancy between how vaginal and non-vaginal sex is treated, when deciding if somebody has to register as a sex offender.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Fair enough. Agree with the removing the distinction.

    • LCDR_Fish

      Apparently there’s a disparity in registry charges for vaginal vs anal intercourse – but I don’t think this is a step in the right direction towards correcting this.

      Perhaps not surprisingly this was put forward by the same gentleman who supported removing the felony charge for intentionally infecting someone with HIV.

      • Fatty Bolger

        I don’t think this is a step in the right direction towards correcting this

        Why not?

      • LCDR_Fish

        I would argue that the penalty for vaginal intercourse with a minor – should be the same as the anal – not a disparity between them, and not removing it completely.

      • Fatty Bolger

        I would argue that the penalty for vaginal intercourse with a minor – should be the same as the anal

        Of course I agree, and that’s exactly what this change is supposed to do:

        According to Wiener, SB 145 would not change the legality of the forms of intercourse and would not change the potential sentence for having sex with an underage person. Instead, the bill would give judges the ability to evaluate whether the accused be required to register as a sex offender.

      • UnCivilServant

        So the judge may issue a punishment rather than shall issue a punishment?

      • Fatty Bolger

        May require them to register as a sex offender vs. shall, yes. Under current law, that discretion is only allowed for defendants who engaged in vaginal sex.

      • UnCivilServant

        I am not a fan of laws that allow judges to be arbitrary and capricious.

        Judges are notoriously disconnected from reality.

      • Cancelled

        Not more disconnected than legislators, which is the other alternative, and at least the judge has the opportunity to be familiar with the facts of the case when making the decision. We need sentencing discretion if we are going to have a just justice system, witness the mandatory minimum sentencing debacle.

    • juris imprudent

      Wiener legislation? Really. That makes The Bee seem tame/lame.

      You want to sponsor this legislation – change your damn name.

  29. DEG

    winners read 37 stack overflow articles and — perhaps even scarier — the actual documentation and get it done.

    Read the actual documentation? CRAZY TALK!

    U.S. government debt will exceed the size of the economy in the government’s 2021 fiscal year, a milestone not hit since World War II that has been brought into reach by a giant fiscal response to the coronavirus pandemic.governments centrally planning the economy

    Fixed it for the WSJ article author.

    After, Biden will deliver remarks on “how Trump’s failure to address COVID-19 is impacting students, educators, and children, and his plan to safely and effectively reopen schools,”

    Trump could end the Federal state of emergency and cut off the money, but I don’t think that is what Biden has in mind. If he has anything in mind these days.

  30. juris imprudent

    Hmm, no more Mr Lizard in these parts, and then this. Very, very suspicious.

    • KibbledKristen

      ?

    • Bill (Door) Baggins (a Skellington)

      I may have laughed harder at that article than I should’ve.

    • Roland of Gilead

      Ha. I just shared this on Facebook and I never go on Facebook anymore.

      • TARDIS

        I haven’t been on Facebook in months. My wife is threatening to quit it because she just got the new censorship policy edict that will be effective Oct. 1 or something.

      • Mojeaux

        “We reserve the right to remove anything you say that could get us sued.”

      • kinnath

        If feel strangely compelled to start collecting copyrighted content and inflammatory articles to start posting on Facebook come D-Day.

  31. Count Potato

    “Pelosi addresses Monday’s salon incident:
    “I take responsibility for trusting the word of the neighborhood salon that I’ve been to…many times…It was a set up, and I take responsibility for falling for a setup.”
    “I think that this salon owes me an apology, for setting me up””

    https://twitter.com/TalKopan/status/1301244429399924737

    Then she lit up a crack rock.

    • commodious spittoon

      I like all the moveon.org responses complaining about addressing REAL problems, as if the Covid lockdowns haven’t been the most pressing issue for FIVE FUCKING MONTHS now.

    • Fatty Bolger

      Holy shit, she really said that? LMAO

    • Chipwooder

      What a malignant bitch. “They set me up by allowing me to knowingly flout the restrictions you peasants have to live by!”

  32. CPRM

    Thought to be extinct for 50 years, New Guinea singing dog was thriving all along

    How dare they?! Their was a CONSENSUS!

    Also:

    thriving all along in the New Guinea Highlands

    But that means There Can Be Only One!

    • Nephilium

      I really dislike the removal of the skill system in Fallout 4. I’ve only got a couple hours in on it.

      • UnCivilServant

        There’s a bit of a double-edged sword to the classic bethesda skill system. Anything you can’t make use of at low levels is effectively nonviable unless you go out if your way to train it. By the time I found my first energy weapon in 3, it was worthless, I did more damage with kinetic weapons since I’d been shooting radroaches and raiders with them from the word go. Energy weapon ammo was just a cap repository from there on out.

      • UnCivilServant

        It’s also why I never managed to be a mage in skyrim.

        I kept running out of blue stuff and having to resort to blades while it refilled, and it just seemed easier to use normal weapons.

      • LCDR_Fish

        It’s possible to pump the skills early on – but limited options on where/when to do it – and the fact that all the enemies level too makes it difficult to get an edge (and too frustrating if you screw up your build early on – even if you can re-roll).

        My one, really good game in skyrim had a great mix – but then I got mixed up with reserve, etc stuff and didn’t play for 6+ months – and then it’s impossible for me to comfortably get back into the characters/missions/etc at that point in the game. We’ll see the next time around – bought the goty edition on xbox one s for a deal.

      • UnCivilServant

        Having to cheese the system to use one of the three major skill groups just seems like a flaw in the design. No, I don’t have a suggestion on how to fix it.

    • Hyperion

      I started playing it, Wastelands 3, but I didn’t get too far. Was asking others about it, but apparently, I’m the only person in this galaxy who was playing it.

  33. But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

    #CeMasqueNeFaitRien

    So, it’s been 33 days since the city of Edmonton mandated the use of masks in all indoor public spaces; just for shits ‘n giggles, I went to Alberta Health’s COVID-19 info pages and downloaded the raw case stats for the Edmonton region. As I expected, daily case counts are either stable or rising, with a rising trend-line.

    Is the local news covering any of this? Of course they aren’t.

    Fargin’ bastages.

    • Rhywun

      I like the BIG GOV SUCKS shirt.

      • Count Potato

        It even came in his size.

      • DEG

        These euphemisms.

  34. Idle Hands

    Funk trump and fuck the cdc.

    • Roland of Gilead

      Big Gretch is pushing for a national mask mandate though.i think Dr Birx already shot her down fortunately.

    • Drake

      In his defense, he doesn’t remember.

    • Drake

      “Oregon pursues federal charges”

      Does this journalist know Oregon is a state?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Maybe? I’d hope it was just sloppy headline writing and was supposed to be something like Oregon’s US Attorney but got clipped for brevity.

    • Rhywun

      OFFS

    • Brochettaward

      Kim looks like a guy who would like him some pie.

    • slumbrew

      The owners will just pay for it out of their profits, duh. They gotta be making, what, 70-80% profit?

    • Ownbestenemy

      Talk about not seeing beyond than the tip of your nose.

    • Gustave Lytton

      See #11 upscreen. She sure gets around.

      • Count Potato

        Saw it, then here it got even worse.

    • EvilSheldon

      She should have the replacement set say, “Daddy Loved his Career More Than Me.”

  35. westernsloper

    I know many feel this place has gotten too Trumpy and sometimes I agree, but fuck me. Ya Trump is prick supreme and the whole CDC waiving rent is way over the top of the rightful powers bar (just like all this “pandemic” bullshit) but seriously how many Trump supporters are attacking Biden supporters who are 12 because of political speech? Many of the D’s supporters are just fucking unhinged lunatics.

    https://www.dailycamera.com/2020/09/01/boulder-police-investigating-after-12-year-old-with-trump-sign-assaulted/

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      This is what it comes down to, yeah? The Republicans make for sucky libertarians, but damn if the Democrats don’t make for some scarily good authoritarians.

      I still dont know whether I’ll compromise on my principle of not “voting against” this election, but I don’t think it’s all that debatable that the left is currently much more execrable than the right.

      • Viking1865

        “but damn if the Democrats don’t make for some scarily good authoritarians.”

        When a Republican is President, Big Tech, Big Media, and Big Bureaucracy line up against him to stymie his efforts, whatever they are.

        If Biden is elected President, every single power center in the entire nation will be at the fingertips of whoever is pulling his strings.

      • commodious spittoon

        Yep. I don’t understand, no doubt because I haven’t bothered reading up, how “left libertarians” can shelve any concerns over authoritarianism because TRuMp’S A rAciST. Yeah, maybe he’s a hater. Maybe he’s a bigot. He’s not a hater or a bigot who’s threatening to socialize huge swathes of the economy. He’s not threatening to institute a Green New Deal. No doubt he’d very much like to put people in jail for saying mean things about him, but he’ll never get to do that. Progressives would like to see hate speech censorship put into law, and a Biden presidency would get them that much closer. And you’d be kidding yourself if you think hate speech wouldn’t expand to include aversion to the progressive line on items like transexuality or climate change. They want you disarmed and powerless against their mobs. They have the institutional clout to see their wishes enacted, unlike Trump. I don’t like that he’s president, and for what little it’s worth I didn’t and won’t vote for him, but I’m not going to pretend away the left’s authoritarian impulses just because I dislike the guy.

    • westernsloper

      I am struggling to maintain people are individuals in all of this……We are being forced to pick sides………I don’t want to be on a side. Fuck I need a sailboat.

      • Chipwooder

        Pretty much, yeah. These assholes are pushing us into positions we don’t want to take. I will never, ever be anything but an enemy to Marxists.

    • TARDIS

      This shit makes my blood boil.

    • Gadfly

      Ya Trump is prick supreme and the whole CDC waiving rent is way over the top of the rightful powers bar

      The eviction suspension is over the line and unconstitutional (it reminds me of Nixon imposing price controls before his reelection), but it is not technically waiving rent, as supposedly the landlords can still charge it and charge late fees and attempt to recoup it after the measure ends, just not evict (and yes, I know de facto this means many people will live rent free, as there are ways to evade collections, which is why this is a bad move, however politically smart it may be).

      • Cancelled

        as there are ways to evade collections

        This is a highly disingenuous way of putting it, collections rates for tenants that are allowed to fall multiple months behind are well under 35%, and the costs, hassle, and timeline to collect even that much are generally such as to make it not worthwhile. The right to charge the money is not a remedy, the remedy is the right to reclaim the property and a worthless judgment next year does not make up for the months during which your asset is not yours to control.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I haven’t really heard about this… Trump commanded the CDC to suspend all evictions across the country? Dafuq?

    • Brochettaward

      Someone in the media actually called Antifa a far-left group. It’s The Daily Mail, but still. Small victory.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      Damn German tourists.

    • Roland of Gilead

      And it would appear that neither of them are properly masked.

    • Lackadaisical

      go on…

    • Brochettaward

      Another witness questioned the cops’ claims Kizzee punched one of the officers prior to the shooting.

      ‘They say the man punched the deputy, but I never saw that happen,’ Alida Trejo, 52, told LA Times.

      I mean…he’s right there on video punching the cop multiple times. You posted the fucking video, Daily Mail.

      They’re not going to get charges out of this one.

      • westernsloper

        Dood, punching a cop and then running does not justify using deadly force. If he was shot during the punching I might agree since the threat of bodily harm or death exists in that moment of time. After he turns his back and runs? Nope, the immediate threat has ended. Pick him up later for assaulting a police officer.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        If there was only one thing I could change about modern policing, this would be it. I dont get to shoot a mugger as he runs off withy stuff. Officer friendly should either be forced to chase the guy down to engage him or pick him up later.

        In car situation, even chasing the guy down should be for last resort imminently dangerous situations.

      • westernsloper

        During my short LE career the training went as such: Means, ability, and intent were the criteria that had to be met to use deadly force. The “crook” in Derps link below should have been doubled tapped when he started to raise the gun toward the officer since all three were met. Means=he had the means to seriously harm or kill you, ability=he was able to use it, intent=in the act of pointing it at you or kicking the ever loving shit out of you. No cops do not get to shoot people running away from them unless they are wearing a suicide vest or some such nonsense.

      • Brochettaward

        You aren’t going to get charges out of this. You aren’t going to be able to disprove the account from the cops that he was reaching for that gun he had in his possession after he fell to the ground.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Not from this video, but more might surface. Were they wearing bodycams?

      • westernsloper

        After he fell to the ground when they shot him in the back? Is that what you mean? After they shot him in the back he reached for the gun in his laundry? Give it up, they shot the dude in the back when he was no longer a threat to them and running away. These cops need to be charged.

      • Brochettaward

        I like how you keep repeating that he was running away. No, when he was shot he was on the ground. You are the one who has to show that he wasn’t reaching for the gun. Which you can’t see in that video and which, unless there’s bodycam footage, you aren’t going to be able to show.

        Him having his back to the officers doesn’t address whether he was a threat. He’s going to be deemed a threat if he’s going for his gun regardless of whether he’s facing the officers or not. And I’ve seen no definitive proof that he was even shot in the back. That’s just some talking point coming from the family’s slimy lawyer.

      • Brochettaward

        This case is a hell of a lot murkier than that of Philando Castile ,and that cop walked because the jury believed that the cop saw a gun.

        You want to charge in a case where you have a guy who just violently resisted and where you’re going to have two cops swearing under oath that they saw him reaching for his weapon? Good luck with that.

      • westernsloper

        You made me go to that fricken site again and watch the video one more time. We can’t hear the shots fired by that video so we do not know if he was shot with his back turned and that made him fall or he tripped. As I said above, I don’t give a shit what a person is reaching for, gun , knife, can of tuna…….. “Reaching” crosses the intent line when it becomes “raising to point at or aiming”. Reaching or even holding a gun does not imply intent and therefore deadly force is not justified.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Star Wars hasn’t been good since they wrote the mini Wookiees whipping up on a starfaring civilization’s army into the script. He should just let it go because all of the newer ones suck suck suck and he’d do well to just let everyone forget he was in them.

    • Rhywun

      don’t care don’t care don’t care

      • The Hyperbole

        I was about to say that say I’m amused by the amount of hate people have for fictional franchises, but then I remembered what an asshole Matt Dillon is and I guess I kind of get it.

      • Mojeaux

        Popular characters influence culture. How many people (especially ones who grew up with Matt Dillon) think he’s an asshole?

      • TARDIS

        fictional franchises

        In my other timeline, I’m a very successful private web porn star with a predominately female (verified) clientele.

      • Gender Traitor

        Read “Matt Dillon” and at first thought “Matt Damon.” Thought “Gee, I liked him well enough in the Bourne franchise, but maybe he’s an asshole IRL.”

      • The Hyperbole

        I sometimes worry that Dallas from The Outsiders will think I’m talking about him.

      • westernsloper

        I was who, who and who?

    • Gadfly

      Delusional and bitter John Boyega thinks that Disney gave all the nuance to Daisy Ridley and Adam Drivers’ characters.

      So he’s upset that the main characters of the story got the most character development? Hmmm.

      The real failure of the writers of episodes 8 and 9 was adding pointless characters to the ensemble and not going with the obvious character dynamics set up in episode 7. Ridley and Driver were clearly set up to have the dramatic A-plot while Boyega and Isaac got the fun and adventurous B-plot, with the two plots merging at the end when the heroes save the day. But that didn’t happen because the writers didn’t realize they were supposed to be writing serial pulp fiction.

      • IntraveneousWoodChipper

        The fun and adventurous B-plot where they wasted an entire film virtue signaling against space casinos and riding around on giant space hamsters?

        That trilogy is so so so bad. Kathleen Kennedy should be in jail for premeditated murder of a storied franchise with unlimited earning potential.

        PS: my beef is with her, sorry if it comes off a bit dickish lol

  36. Lackadaisical

    The Hat and Hair though. *chef kiss*

  37. The Late P Brooks

    Short LVMH

    LVMH Moët Hennessy Louis Vuitton is resolute in its commitment to diversity. Today, Corey Smith assumes the new position of vice president of diversity and inclusion at LVMH Inc., the group’s North American operation. Smith joins the company after a long focus on diversity at Major League Baseball, most recently as vice president of diversity and inclusion.

    “LVMH has demonstrated a deep commitment to creating opportunities for people regardless of their gender, ethnicity, sexual orientation or race,” Smith said in a statement to WWD. “I look forward to working closely with the leadership team in North America to build on the foundation they have in place in order to ensure that the group continues to be an inclusive, forward-thinking and desirable place to work and that we can use the power of our brands to effect change.”

    Smith reports to Gena Smith, senior vice president of human resources and head of global executive and creative recruitment. “I am delighted to welcome Corey to LVMH Inc. as we accelerate our efforts to advance diversity, inclusion and equity across our group and brands in North America and further our commitment to fighting racism and intolerance,” Gena Smith said. “Corey brings unique expertise in both workforce and supplier inclusion, and will play an integral role in supporting our brands to ensure we meet the highest standards in promoting equality, for every person we work with and serve in North America.”

    Get out there and slay that dragon.

    • Fatty Bolger

      There’s no stopping him now.

      • dbleagle

        Who is going to set up the pool for the closest date and time for Trump’s first use of the eggplant emoji?

    • Rhywun

      Dear god.

      And “Joe Hiden'”.

      In Trump’s America it’s easier to get a gun and kill somebody than to get a coronavirus test and save somebody.

      OFFS. Liar.

      Why do I click #$#@# twitter links

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        the next feature on my Eyepiece priority list is a Twitter link disabler. One mode completely disables Twitter links. The other pops up an “are you sure” alert before sending you to Twitter.

      • Rhywun

        I have a long list of URL’s pointing to derp that I color red with CSS so I can see at a glance what I should avoid but sometimes I can’t help myself.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        yep, sometimes I can’t help myself either. I think the extra warning will reduce my regrettable clicks substantially. As much as I sometimes enjoy watching the train wreck, I don’t like inflating the view numbers for a company I despise.

      • Mad Scientist

        The other pops up an “are you sure” alert before sending you to Twitter.

        WARNING: Clicking on Twitter links causes a permanent 2% drop in IQ.

      • The Hyperbole

        Giving your users options? what kind of Big Tech Shit Lord are you?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        C’mon, you know you love it.

      • commodious spittoon

        The gun will actually do what it’s advertised to do.

      • Hyperion

        How many background checks does it take to get a coronavirus tests and how many years can you get in prison for getting one?

      • commodious spittoon

        If you test positive they might put you under house arrest, but will they shoot you for furtively coughing into your hand? Can you be plugged for admitting to having coronavirus if you’re pulled over by the po po?

    • Sean

      ??

    • Cancelled

      He also discovered the secret exception to the 5th Amendment allowing the Goddamned CDC to decree that 8 million property owners can no longer have recourse to reclaim their property from those who refuse to pay rent. Fuck Trump, I don’t consider this a minor thing. This is up there with things like the Patriot Act, ADA, and ACA in my book and I am not forgiving this one easily. This isn’t a bump stock ban where only purists care because it doesn’t really affect anyone’s exercise of the right. This is a supposedly pro market President devastating 8 million people’s most fundamental property right.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I suspect they’ll help out landlords in some fashion too. Normally I’d be against that too but they broke it and they need to at least partially fix it.

      • Rhywun

        Yes, that is part of the plan. FWIW.

      • Cancelled

        The name for a system where what you own or produce is taken from you, and you are given what you need to survive is Marxism. Why should I accept this from Trump, when the only reason I have ever supported Trump is to forestall the Marxists?

  38. Derpetologist

    odds and ends

    “It’s enough for a man to understand his own business, and not to interfere with other people’s.”

    -Ebeneezer Scrooge, libertarian(?) [yes, this is an actual quote from A Christmas Carol]

    A Current Affairs second stringer bemoans libertarians

    https://www.currentaffairs.org/2020/09/enduring-the-bureaucracy

    ***
    I angrily googled Von Ormy and immediately found a number of news articles dubbing it a “libertarian experiment,” where residents aren’t charged taxes and which, consequently, seems to be in a constant state of economic freefall.

    One day before the deadline, I called the court in Von Ormy to confirm that they received the money order I’d mailed them. “Where did you mail it to?” the voice on the phone asked me. “The courthouse,” I said. The voice told me, pityingly, that I shouldn’t have mailed it to the courthouse. I was supposed to mail it to a mysterious P.O. box, obviously. At this point, it fully dawned on me that a money order is not like a check, where the funds won’t be drawn if they don’t reach their intended recipient—I had basically just sent a $430 wad of cash off into some kind of postal abyss. And now the deadline for paying by mail had passed, the voice on the phone told me, so I would have to come settle my ticket in person.

    I said something incoherent about how libertarianism was literally highway robbery, and hung up.

    What kind of a person becomes a bureaucrat? Honestly, part of the reason that I dislike bureaucrats so intensely, I think, is because I have certain personality traits in common with them. I prefer rote, repetitive, predictable work-tasks to complicated, highly context-dependent work-tasks. I don’t really like having direct authority over others, nor do I enjoy subjecting myself to the personal whims of an individual boss, so making decisions independently but based off a tree, so to speak, is comfortable for me. I’d like to have a job that I didn’t have to think about very hard, where I felt like my responsibilities were pretty clear-cut, and where my mind would be freed up for my own imaginative and creative pursuits. In the right setting, I would probably be a reasonably contented pencil-pusher.
    ***

    So, I read up on the town in question. They wanted to incorporate to avoid being assimilated by San Antonio. I found that interesting because I didn’t know one municipality could consume another like the traction cities of Mortal Engines. County governments are less onerous than municipal ones, so they tried to have a small municipality instead of being subjugated by a big one.

    Of course, the funniest part is leftists bemoaning bureaucracy. Hey guys- that’s pretty much your entire philosophy in a nutshell.

    And last, an old-timey joke:

    In heaven, the police are English, the cooks are French, the mechanics are German, the lovers are Italian, and it is all organized by the Swiss.

    In hell, the police are German, the cooks are English, the mechanics are French, the lovers are Swiss, and it is all organized by the Italians.

    • Not Adahn

      The Asian version of that is:

      Heaven: Chinese cook, American Salary, British house, Japanese wife.

      Hell: British cook, Chinese salary, Japanese house, American wife.

  39. Gender Traitor

    Wednesday Night Prayer Meeting edition of GlibFit, ‘cuz I can’t make it through the week without testifying. 35 minutes on the treadmill at 3.3 mph!!! (Ultimate goal is 45 minutes at that speed.)

    ::collapses in a not-quite-as-heavy-as-before heap::

    • TARDIS

      *donates Tall Can*

      • Gender Traitor

        Thanks, TARDy! It’s low-carb, though, right?

        ::pours beer on head::

      • UnCivilServant

        Shouldn’t you have balanced a glass on there first, GT? Now you’re going to smell like beer all night.

      • Gender Traitor

        Takes me back to freshman year at college. Eau de Goebel (pron. “zho-bell”)

  40. Count Potato

    “Seven years ago, as the news declared I was being charged as a criminal for speaking the truth, I never imagined that I would live to see our courts condemn the NSA’s activities as unlawful and in the same ruling credit me for exposing them.

    And yet that day has arrived.”

    https://twitter.com/Snowden/status/1301251393832050688

    • commodious spittoon

      Trump pardons Snowden…

      Will, because antagonism for the intel community?

      Won’t, for benighted loyalty to police?

      That’s the best* thing about the guy, you can never tell where is instincts will lead him.

      *worst

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Hell if I know.

        I’m betting not, because Barr and the other swamp creatures would firmly oppose it.

  41. Gustave Lytton

    Asshole pc support turned on onedrive and repointed a bunch of stuff from local folders to onedrive crap. And I hate this sharepoint crap that displays who opens a shared file to everyone else.

    • Chipwooder

      God I fucking despise onedrive

    • Sean

      Check the thermostat.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Under lockout, classes continue as usual but students are not allowed outside and visitors are not allowed into school buildings.

      Uh, lockdown?

  42. Nephilium

    So, Cinci is trying to get exempt from the 22:00 last call here in Ohio, and they’re blaming the earlier last call for causing an uptick of gun violence. The buried message was that there’s no end in sight for the earlier last call, and some mayors “adamantly feel that the 10 o’clock shutoff of liquor is very important to their communities and their cities.”

    Fuck you mayors of Dayton and Columbus. Fuck you.

  43. The Late P Brooks

    He also discovered the secret exception to the 5th Amendment allowing the Goddamned CDC to decree that 8 million property owners can no longer have recourse to reclaim their property from those who refuse to pay rent. Fuck Trump, I don’t consider this a minor thing. This is up there with things like the Patriot Act, ADA, and ACA in my book and I am not forgiving this one easily. This isn’t a bump stock ban where only purists care because it doesn’t really affect anyone’s exercise of the right. This is a supposedly pro market President devastating 8 million people’s most fundamental property right.

    I agree completely.

    And how does it come to be that Trump, of all people, takes up his pen and phone and dashes off a monumental FUCK YOU to landlords and property investors? I wonder if anybody down at The Trump Organization has offered an opinion.

    What a stupid move. And to give that authority to the CDC?

    • Gustave Lytton

      It’s probably wrapped in the legalese by the lawyers as to why it came out of the CDC.

      And it’s also clear why he did it. Straight up pandering to voters right before the election. He didn’t want thousands, perhaps more, facing eviction as whatever state level moratoriums expired in the fall, to be upset and blame him at the ballot box.

    • Cancelled

      And how does it come to be that Trump, of all people, takes up his pen and phone and dashes off a monumental FUCK YOU to landlords and property investors? I wonder if anybody down at The Trump Organization has offered an opinion.

      That is why I am so completely furious today. If Trump can pull this then how am I supposed to believe there are any limits to how bad things can get under him? If my choices are Biden whose handlers are clearly devoted to implementing a Marxist regime, and Trump who will do a thing like this, then what is there left of the Republic?

      • Gustave Lytton

        I want better bread and circuses, for one thing.

      • Cancelled

        I want Augustus and Tiberius before we descend to Caligula, Claudius and Nero. Not to start out with them.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Well, it does kill the idea that he’s in the White House only to feather his nest.

  44. The Late P Brooks

    I want better bread and circuses, for one thing.

    We’re gonna need a bigger beer wagon.

    • Gustave Lytton

      And something a little bit stronger than beer.