Wednesday Afternoon Links

by | Sep 23, 2020 | Daily Links | 345 comments

Afternoon everybody. I have to link and dash today. Taking my older boy to the Ninja Gym. Apparently, not the one run by the ephebophile American Ninja Warrior guy from FL. Kidding, this is run by a whole family who has been on the show. Its good for his grip strength and coordination, and all of the female trainers look like gymnasts, so I’m enthusiastic about taking my turn on this parenting assignment.

This guy just needs to turn in his man card. He will never live down being saved from a shark attack by his pregnant wife. Mrs. L took one look at that and said, “I don’t love you that much. You’d be dead if that was us.”

So I think I found the “based on real events” story for Mel Gibson’s Passion of the Christ 2. In Soviet Russia… Christ still needs to watch his back.

How DARE they! Just kidding. I’m loving it.

Looks like Louisville is about to undergo some natural urban renewal. Just like forests, cities need a good burning every century or so to keep them vibrant.

About The Author

Brett L

Brett L

Brett set out to find America, the real America, the America of strip malls and serial killers, of butthole waxing and kelp smoothies, of cocaine and maggots. He sought it in the most American part of America—Florida: swamp gas and fever dreams, where love arrives on a rickety boat and leaves when it doesn't have the money for its fourth abortion. Oh, where has Brett gone? He’s drinking at the neck of America’s wang, chewing its foreskin and working its shaft. Brett is becoming legend. Brett can never die. Brett can never die. Brett is America, facedown in his own patriotic puke: the red his blood, the white his stomach lining, and the cold, cold blue his gas station slushie, spiked with coconut rum and tetracycline.

345 Comments

  1. Hyperion

    First afternoon links.

    • UnCivilServant

      No, I’m pretty sure the first aftrnoon links were years ago. Back when the site started.

      • Hyperion

        Maybe, but my 2nd post said something about a link, so I’m still first.

      • Brochettaward

        You’ve never been a true First in your life.

    • Swiss Servator

      Rubbish…you have commented in many Afternoon Links!

      • Hyperion

        True that.

  2. Hyperion

    It was a really scary shark!

  3. Count Potato

    Why did you cut her head off?

    • Hyperion

      It’s a header about nothing.

      • Plisade

        Much a doo about nothing?

      • AlexinCT

        She looks like one of the ones I dated when I was doing my tour of Asia..

      • Hyperion

        They all look alike.

      • Not Adahn

        And you’re hungry again an hour later?

      • Hyperion

        Exactly. So, since you can’t really tell which one you were dating, you just grab 2 by the pussy, any two will do.

      • R C Dean

        *books flight to mysterious Orient*

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        Sometimes it’s better not to know.

    • Tonio

      It’s the WordPress template what does it. The feed illos are auto-cropped to what appears to be a 16:9 image starting from the center point of the illo.

  4. UnCivilServant

    How DARE they!

    Indeed, Schumer needs to retire and appologise for his actions.

    • The Other Kevin

      They got the photo op they wanted. Now they just let the media write headlines about “Republicans Block RBG Tribute” (without mentioning the poison pill tacked on), and in a few hours it will be all over social media.

      • Mad Scientist

        Those mean republicans are playing politics with her death!

      • Chafed

        Sounds exactly right.

    • Rhywun

      Cruz’s “hold my beer” had me LOL’ing.

  5. Count Potato

    “It is not known how far along Dukes-Eddy is in her pregnancy.”

    Anyway, the quality of that first picture is awful.

    • Count Potato

      Same picture on the DM too.

  6. The Late P Brooks

    All of the female trainers look like gymnasts

    *lays jacket over lap*

    • Gender Traitor

      Flat-chested twelve-year-olds?

      • Bobarian LMD

        That makes me wonder, is chafing a problem during the floor routine?

      • slumbrew

        With those thighs, yes.

        (I’m a fan)

      • Bobarian LMD

        Some reason it brings this to mind…

      • DEG

        (I’m a fan)

        #metoo

      • Cancelled

        So not an onlyfan?

      • R C Dean

        is chafing a problem during the floor routine

        With a little lube, you should be fine.

    • The Other Kevin

      He’s got some good ones. I like the “How to be lactose intolerant without being lactose intolerant” one.

    • Drake

      So glad I left.

    • AlexinCT

      Reality tends to fuck the most hardcore leftists when it gives it to them hard and without any lube…

  7. Count Potato

    “Asked by AFP how he knew he was the son of God, Vissarion said in 2009: “I felt something violently surging up from within me that had been held down until then.””

    It was probably just gas.

    • Swiss Servator

      The borscht will do that to ya.

  8. Count Potato

    “Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer tried to pass a resolution by unanimous consent Tuesday to commemorate the liberal icon’s life and legacy, but with language that Ginsburg’s seat not be filled until the next president is sworn in.”

    CWAA

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      to be fair, he is honoring her in a way she would really appreciate… being a classless leftist hack

    • Ted S.

      Especially since he’s one who lectures about passing “clean” bills when Team Red tries the same shenanigans he just tried.

      • Rhywun

        It’s almost like they’re all low-down curs or something.

    • Hyperion

      I’m surprised that they thought the first attempt ‘her dying wish’ was going to work. And now this? Lame! Lemon says ‘burn it all down’. Maybe they should listen to Lemon.

      • Swiss Servator

        Burn CNN HQ and studios down???

      • Hyperion

        Not condoning it, but I don’t have a problem with that.

      • Not Adahn

        “I don’t excuse it, but I understand it.”

    • R C Dean

      And this will be uniformly reported as “Republicans refuse to honor St. Ginsburg”.

      I wouldn’t be surprised if social media lights up with the home addresses of Republican Senators, and mobs dispatched. A little battlespace prep for the confirmation hearings. Show the Repubs who really runs Bartertown.

  9. Hyperion

    “So I think I found the “based on real events” story for Mel Gibson’s Passion of the Christ 2. In Soviet Russia… Christ still needs to watch his back.”

    Why would they have arrested him if he wasn’t the true 2nd coming? That proves it! I mean, sure, he skipped all of that riding in on some clouds stuff. But he probably just came early to watch the SCOTUS debacle.

    • Suthenboy

      I was about to joke the same thing…what are they going to do now? Crucify him?

  10. Apples and Knives

    “Apparently, not the one run by the ephebophile American Ninja Warrior guy from FL.”

    That’s the second time I’ve seen that word ‘ephebophile’ on this site in two days. I think Festus used it one of his comments yesterday. I don’t know what it means and I’m kind of scared to Google it.

    • Caput Lupinum

      Someone attracted to underage, though post pubescent, children. Think the 13 to 17 age range.

      • Apples and Knives

        Ah, thanks!

    • UnCivilServant

      Attraction to adolescents who have undergone puberty.

    • Not Adahn

      Winger.

      • Count Potato

        I think I saw them open for Kiss.

      • Rhywun

        That chick has great hear huh-huh-huh.

      • Rhywun

        “hair”, even

      • Apples and Knives

        Plus The Beatles, The Cars, Joan Jett, Chuck Berry. I suppose ZZ Top takes the cake though, with the line “Francine just turned thirteen.”

      • Mad Scientist
      • Bobarian LMD
      • Nephilium

        Don’t forget the Stray Cats.

      • Tundra

        I never will.

        I tell my wife all the time that I still like her because she’s my hot rod mama and really built for speed.

        Yeah, I’m a romantic.

      • Mad Scientist

        Just don’t tell her she reminds you of this track.

      • Tundra

        Dude. That’s her description of me!

        Good record, there.

      • B.P.

        Neil Diamond. Ringo Starr.

      • blackjack

        AHEM! perhaps the best known.

      • Deplorableme

        Of course the classic Little Girls

      • Rhywun

        Yikes. These guys only go down to sixteen.

      • RAHeinlein

        Gary Puckett – Young Girl, This Girl is a Woman Now,

      • Mojeaux

        Did we forget “Gigi”? Although I’m not sure that qualifies as ephebophilic.

      • But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

        Great movie, regardless.
        “Ah yes, I remember it well . . . “  ;-)

      • Gender Traitor

        Donny could resist the temptation.

      • Apples and Knives

        Someone needs to put together a playlist!

    • Swiss Servator

      “Dr. Kristina Box, commissioner of the Indiana State Department of Health, cautioned that this is not a return to life as Hoosiers knew it in January, and that precautions must still be taken.”

      I’M STILL RELEVANT!!!!!!!

      • banginglc1

        Don’t worry, he’s still encouraging locales to enact more stringent regulations.

    • Hyperion

      My son told me yesterday that it was almost to the point of mass rebellion there against the mandates.

    • banginglc1

      I think he’s getting desperate because his chances at re-election keep getting lower and lower.

      • The Other Kevin

        Bingo. Mrs. TOK doesn’t follow politics too much, but I found out about it from her. From the living room I hear, “What’s coming up that would make us go into the next phase?”

      • R C Dean

        His weak-ass response obliterated AZ Gov. Ducey’s political ambitions. He was term-limited, but no question had his eye on a Senate seat. He’s a defeated man now, but he hasn’t realized this frees him up to do the right thing and lift the fucking emergency. Deaths per day are down in the low 20s per day statewide. Hospitals have anywhere from zero to five ‘Vid patients. What’s the fucking emergency, you spineless nothing?

  11. The Late P Brooks

    How dare you?

    A seemingly irritated Anthony Fauci, the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases, scolded Sen. Rand Paul (R-Ky.) at a congressional hearing on Wednesday after the senator claimed that COVID-19 cases might not be rising in New York because of herd immunity.

    Fauci, the country’s top infectious diseases doctor, told Paul he was wrong to make the suggestion, and he said Paul had also been wrong in other public comments about the concept of herd immunity.

    “No, you’ve misconstrued that, senator, and you’ve done that repeatedly in the past,” Fauci said.

    Fauci also appeared to single out Paul for criticism over comments about the coronavirus, which as of this week has killed more than 200,000 people in the United States.

    ——-

    Paul, who has frequently criticized lockdowns aimed at preventing the spread of the coronavirus while questioning their effectiveness, asked Fauci if he had second thoughts over his support for such measures given statistics in other countries.

    He claimed mitigation measures like closing movie theaters, bars and limiting restaurant capacity had no impact, because the New York tri-state area had the highest coronavirus death rate in the country.

    “It’s important that we the people not simply acquiesce to authoritarian mandates on our behavior without first making the nanny state prove their hypothesis,” Paul said. “What we do know is that New York and New Jersey and Connecticut and Rhode Island still allowed the highest death rates in the world.”

    Fauci said New York got hit “pretty badly” but the state has managed to bring its positivity down to about 1 percent because New Yorkers have been following recommendations like wearing masks, keeping physical distance and staying outdoors more than indoors.

    Yes, yes, of course. You cast your spell and the monster retreated. But it’s still out there, so don’t pretend it isn’t. And, whatever you do, don’t tell him his work is done.

    Foochy’s like the fairy tale Pied Piper. One of these days, when we finally put an end to his protection racket, he’s going to get pissed and exact his revenge.

    • Hyperion

      And if that far right libertarian extremist tries this again, Fauci is going to jap tackle him!

    • B.P.

      Hey everybody, have you heard that coronavirus has now killed 200,000 people in the U.S.?

      • UnCivilServant

        I doubt those numbers. There’s too much incentive to misclassify fatalities for funding.

      • C. Anacreon

        I read a news article actually trying to claim the number is “way understated” because there were likely a lot of deaths early on misclassified as from other diseases. As if.

        Anyone who thinks the incentives to hospitals for covid cases hasn’t affected the counts, ask them what they would think of financial incentives to hospitals to prove it was any reason besided covid. “Outrageous!” They would say, “that would lead to undercounting!” Then nod and say, you are right. Now think of it in reverse.

      • Ted S.

        It’s a grim milestone!

      • UnCivilServant

        Surprisingly the music Grim Milestone plays is pretty upbeat.

      • But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

        It’s 91% less fatalities than they were forecasting a mere six months ago.
        TMITE, plus they have the attention span of a camera flash.

      • Hyperion

        I just heard yesterday that it was 200 million.

      • But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

        “Good news, everyone! The over-population problem’s solved!”   /end Professor Farnsworth mode

    • Ted S.

      Didn’t Rand test positive for the coronavirus?

      We never hear him or Ted Cruz on the news talking about their coronavirus experience, but god knows the news media will put on anybody who says it’s terrible. Just last night, local news ran a complete propaganda piece about the “heartfelt plea” of a woman who lost her sister to the disease, claiming it’s not over by a long shot. Straight opinion disguised as news because it furthers the narrative.

    • Tulip

      At work, we get regular updates on COVID. Most people coming in with flu like symptoms have the flu. The prevalence of COVID is actually low. But, there’s no herd immunity. You have to have been extremely sick to have any resistance and it fades over time (rather quickly). And this guy, researcher, doesn’t eat out as far more virus is shed through fecal matter than through breathing (has to do with receptors – more in digestive track than lungs). He also pointed out that properly fitted N95 masks reduce trans why around50%. Improperly fitted, cloth etc, don’t, but he wears one because shows he cares. (Yeah, fuck). Anyway social distance does help.

      Despite this, my work is not removing the mask requirement.

      Also talked about treatment. Basically, if you are sick enough to need a respirator, nothing really works. You get better or you die.

      • R C Dean

        Basically, if you are sick enough to need a respirator, nothing really works.

        True in April.

        Not true now. We have discharged dozens of ‘Vid patients who were on respirators.

      • Count Potato

        “more virus is shed through fecal matter than through breathing (has to do with receptors – more in digestive track than lungs)”

        Really?

    • R C Dean

      And of course, Fauci can prove that low infection rates in NY aren’t due to herd immunity, but are due to social distancing/lockdowns.

      You have to have been extremely sick to have any resistance and it fades over time (rather quickly).

      I’m about 99% sure that’s not the way it works. Otherwise we would see a lot of people reinfected, and to date I think confirmed reinfections worldwide are nil. All that fades over time is detectable, specific antibodies, and that’s normal for anyone who acquires immunity though specific antibodies.

      • Tulip

        His argument I think, I was writing emails while listening, had to do with corona viruses in general and speed of mutation or something. But his data on respirators was through August and covers worldwide.

      • R C Dean

        had to do with corona viruses in general and speed of mutation or something.

        Having a virus mutate out from under immunity is one thing, and he has a point that being immune to today’s version of the virus doesn’t necessarily mean you will be immune to future versions. Of course, typically viruses mutate to become less virulent (Exhibit A: SARS-1; COVID is from SARS-2).

        If he has an actual study showing N95s are 50% effective in preventing transmission, I haven’t heard of it. Sounds more like a hypothesis (“Based on this examination of filtering of x-sized particles at y density over z time, and based on the assumption that an infectious viral load is n, then an N95 would blah blah”). But who knows, there may be an actual study confirming that hypothesis.

        The prevalence of COVID is actually low.

        This is unknown. The rate of positive tests is all we know, which is not even close to the same thing as the rate of people who have been infected.

        But, there’s no herd immunity.

        There absolutely is, but it may not last long, depending on mutation. And given that there is some degree of cross-immunity among coronaviruses, I would expect some form of resistance, if not full immunity, to persist.

      • Tulip

        You’re a lawyer observing a small amount of data.

        We get these every month from different people. So far, the story continues to be consistent. Really good, properly worn masks – helpful. Cloth, paper masks, masks worn with beards, pulled down under nose – don’t bother

        Prevalence low (was likely low in earlier briefings). Abbott vaccine not that great, some better out there,but hard to scale.
        They are hoping for 50% protection.

        Herd immunity hasn’t happened, likely won’t happen. Again consistent story over time.

        This guy was pretty ecstatic that death rates are declining, but according to him, hospitals (like you) can’t take credit. Once you’re on a respirator, you get better or you die and little the hospital does matters.

    • Tundra

      Fire the midget, Two-Scoops.

  12. Count Potato

    “Fury as just one cop is charged with ‘putting neighbors at risk with wild firing’ in Breonna Taylor’s death and two others walk FREE: Kentucky AG says cops were justified in shooting because her boyfriend shot first – as 72-hour curfew is declared

    One of the three Louisville police officers involved in the fatal shooting of Breonna Taylor has been indicted by a Kentucky grand jury, following a four-month investigation into the 26-year-old EMT’s death that sparked protests against police brutality nationwide.

    Jefferson County Circuit Judge Annie O’Connell on Wednesday announced the grand jury’s decision to charge former detective Brett Hankison with three counts of wanton endangerment in connection to the police raid on the night of March 13.

    The first-degree charge, a Class D felony which carries a penalty of up to five years in prison, relates to Hankinson shooting into the neighboring apartments during the incident, not Taylor’s death.

    Hankinson was fired by the Louisville Metro Police Department in June after officials said he violated policy by ‘wantonly and blindly’ firing his gun during the raid.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8764593/Kentucky-AG-announce-Breonna-Taylor-decision-afternoon.html

    So the AG didn’t even seek an indictment for shooting her.

      • Fatty Bolger

        A single witness, eh? I’m sure the body cam footage will back that up. Right?

      • Hyperion

        I haven’t followed the story. When I head no knock raid, I just assume that’s all there is to it. Cops smash door, throw around flash bang grenades, and start shooting up the place.

        Why where they there in the first place? I don’t even know that. She was a cop?

      • Fatty Bolger

        She once dated a drug dealer they were trying to take down, so they made up some bullshit about a package to get a search warrant for her house.

        They keep talking about this one witness who backs up the cops, but there are something like a dozen other witnesses who said they didn’t hear the cops identify themselves. And if I remember right, the witness account isn’t even the same as what the cops say they did.

      • LCDR_Fish

        5th Column covered it in a lot of detail on the John McWhorter episode last month – apparently there was a deep dive story in NYT or WAPO around the same time that had a lot more details “justifying” the cop actions and downplaying some of the accusations.

      • R C Dean

        “It wasn’t a no-knock raid. We tapped lightly on the door, whispered it was the police, and then kicked it down.”

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Shame. Kentucky had a good run.

    • Drake

      It’s going to be a long night there. I hope not, but I won’t be surprised if there is a body count in the morning.

    • B.P.

      Yup, just peacefully holding my hands in the air with a 2X4 in my hand.

  13. The Late P Brooks

    When Paul floated the theory that New Yorkers have now developed enough immunity that they are no longer at risk, Fauci appeared irritated and said the senator was completely off base.

    “I challenge that, senator,” Fauci said, before asking for more time to finish his response “because this happens with Senator Rand all the time.”

    “You are not listening to what the director of the CDC [Centers for Disease Control and Prevention] said, that in New York [the infection rate is] about 22 percent. If you believe 22 percent is herd immunity, I believe you’re alone in that,” Fauci said.

    Every individual is equally susceptible to infection. Just keep repeating the lie.

    • Count Potato

      Then why are the numbers in NYC so low compared to what they were?

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Because they moved to Florida.

      • Fatty Bolger

        Couldn’t possibly be that they have the infection rate wrong, now could it?

      • J. Frank Parnell

        Because Cuomo believes in SCIENCE and is doing a terrific job of handling the situation.

    • Animal

      Too bad there isn’t someone in the Senate who is, like, a doctor, or something.

    • R C Dean

      [the infection rate is] about 22 percent

      This idiot can’t even comprehend the difference between positive tests and actual infections, or the concepts of cross-immunity and baseline T-cell immunity.

    • Apples and Knives

      Damn it!

    • Bill (Door) Baggins (a Skellington)

      Bravo, BabylonBee!

    • Apples and Knives

      Oh, lord! An acquaintance just posted this on Facebook and I don’t think she realized it was a joke. So far she’s got likes and hearts but no laugh reactions.

  14. The Late P Brooks

    Flat-chested twelve-year-olds?

    Limber, fit twenty year olds.

  15. DEG

    All of the female trainers look like gymnasts

    Go on….

  16. DEG

    Russia on Tuesday arrested a Siberian cult leader who claims to be the reincarnation of Jesus, along with his top aides, in an operation involving armed troops and aircraft. The Investigative Committee, which probes serious crimes, said it had detained Sergei Torop known to his followers as Vissarion the Teacher, or the Jesus of Siberia, and two of his aides.

    A better ending than David Koresh got.

    • B.P.

      They’re doing it wrong. Supposed to poison him, shoot him multiple times, beat him, and throw him in a river.

  17. The Late P Brooks

    But Eddy’s brave, quick-thinking wife, Margot Dukes-Eddy, who is pregnant, instantly jumped into the water to save her bloodied, wounded husband, witnesses told deputies. It is not known how far along Dukes-Eddy is in her pregnancy.

    Hormone-addled psycho, more like it; even I know not to risk pissing off a pregnant woman.

    • Mad Scientist

      I’ve seen pregnant women punch straight through a windshield. Broke every bone in her hand and didn’t feel it for months.

      • PBRstreetgang

        I gotta know, why was a pregnant woman punching a windshield?

      • banginglc1

        Have you ever met a pregnant woman?

      • Animal

        Can confirm.

      • PBRstreetgang

        Well, yeah, but none of them have ever actually punched out a windshield (at least while I was around). Just sounds like there’s a good story in here

      • Animal

        I could tell you some stories about my first wife. Undiagnosed and untreated OCD and bipolar disorder (since diagnosed and treated, but this was a long time ago now) lends some PCP-like rage strength and an orbital-level pain threshold.

      • Mad Scientist

        It’s a quote from the Terminator.

        Sarah Connor : What about when he punched through the windshield?

        Detective Hal Vukovich : He was probably on PCP. Broke every bone in his hand and wouldn’t feel it for hours. There was this guy once, you see this scar?

      • Count Potato

        Angel dust.

  18. Stinky Wizzleteats

    Man, do the Russians get the best cult leaders or what? They get Rasputin and this guy while we get Jim Jones and that guy who castrated himself before he tried to hitch a ride on a comet. It’s just not fair although I hear that The Family of God was pretty fun back in the day.

    • Drake

      You mean the Children of God?

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        That is what I mean. They still exist as The Family but they dropped the of God part for some reason.

      • Drake

        I know some people who grew up amoung those kooks.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        From what I understand the old version would send out attractive young women to lure in young men and would be encouraged to visualize in their mind’s eye that they were sleeping with The Lord when they were sexing them in. An interesting if strange bunch.

    • Hyperion

      “Massachusetts school bans pepper.”

      And allergies.

  19. The Late P Brooks

    There’s still a mask mandate until October something.

    Dammit. I’m headed back to Indiana in a few days. I was hoping things had slacked off.

  20. Drake

    If you want to wake up Sleepy Joe, just ask him about Hunter. His response won’t make any more sense than his other statements, but it will be enthusiastic.

    • B.P.

      *Trump advisor slips index card to president with “Hunter Biden” scrawled on it right before next week’s debate*

      • Drake

        “Hey Joe? How’s the new grandkid with the stripper mom?”

  21. Count Potato

    “‘Defund the police’ activist Alyssa Milano says her husband – not her – called cops to their home when they mistook teen shooting squirrels for dangerous gunman and claims she’s the ‘target of right wing trolls’

    Alyssa Milano has hit back at reports that she called the cops Sunday morning when an ‘armed gunman’ – who turned out to be a teen with an air gun – was on her property.

    In a tweet Tuesday, the actress and ‘defund the police’ activist denied that she called the cops, and instead said it was her neighbor who made the initial 911 call ‘after seeing a person dressed in black holding a rifle behind my home where I live with my young children and husband’.

    She did admit that her talent agent husband, Dave Bugliari, 39, made a follow up phone call to 911 to check on the status of the officers’ arrival, but said they they showed up as he was on the line.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8764071/Alyssa-Milano-DENIES-called-cops-quiet-California-enclave.html

    • Not Adahn

      Even if you have an outbuilding for them to live in, your servants aren’t technically your neighbors.

    • Pope Jimbo

      She just can’t admit that she fucked up can she?

      Or she could just shut up for a while and let it all blow over. But if she could survive without being in the spotlight she wouldn’t be in this spot now.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Isnt this the third iteration of what happened? First it was claimed she did…then blamed neighbors…and now its her husband? Or is the husband a neigbor?

    • R C Dean

      claims she’s the ‘target of right wing trolls

      Blind squirrel finds nut.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    Random thought. Much is made of “right wing” counter-(counter-counter-? I can’t keep it straight)protestors who travel to the scenes of “civil unrest” like Portland or Milwaukee, but nobody seems to bat an eye at reports of people travelling cross country to be on Team BLM.

    Am I wrong?

  23. Count Potato

    “Tesla drivers are locked out of their cars after Elon Musk’s firm is hit with complete network outage and staff are blocked from processing orders – amid fears of possible HACK

    Tesla is experiencing a complete network outage that has hit its internal service and customer mobile app a day after the company lost $50 billion in its market value due to its failed ‘Battery Day.’

    The mobile app holds a digital key and and only owners who have a physical version have been able to access and drive their vehicle – leaving those without stranded.

    Tesla’s internal systems are also down, making it impossible for staff to process deliveries and orders.”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-8764801/Tesla-hit-complete-network-outage-leaving-drivers-unable-connect-cars-using-mobile-app.html

    • Not Adahn

      Tee hee.

      • Not Adahn

        Sorry for HE tho.

      • UnCivilServant

        We don’t know she didn’t have key real key on her.

    • UnCivilServant

      And you people wonder why I have more faith in mechanical keys.

      • banginglc1

        I don’t even like chip keys.

    • slumbrew

      Nothing compares with the total freedom an automobile provides – you can just hop in and go! (assuming the manufactures servers are online).

    • grrizzly

      Hilarious if true.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Well that sucks

    • R C Dean

      Nice single point of failure, there, chief.

  24. grrizzly

    The Investigative Committee said it was planning to charge the cult leaders with organizing an illegal religious organization

    Yes, this is Russia.

    • Suthenboy

      See: church closures in the land of the free.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      It’s the non-profits. There is always a list of non-profits aiding and abetting this shit.

      If you ever wonder where the gender studies majors go after the graduate, the real answer isnt to the local coffee shop. They go work some $40k/year job at a non-profit, prepping for the revolution.

      These organizations are all connected to one another, they all funnel money to one another, and different ones serve different purposes, from bilking taxpayers to sweet talking corporate benevolence funds to coordinating volunteer help.

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        Probably supported by taxpayer dollars too.

    • commodious spittoon

      Fleecing lefties and fronting, what, 10, 15% of the cash for bail while pocketing the rest? Sounds like a pretty good scam.

    • Count Potato

      “Bail project organizer Holly Zoller, board member of Louisville’s “Books to Prisoners”, delivered riot equipment in a U-Haul ahead of tonight’s violence.”

      Maybe there could be a glib non-profit that delivers riot equipment infected with ebola.

    • R C Dean

      They’ve got everything they need to arrest her and throw the book at her. See if she’s a Troo Bleever who will do hard time rather than roll over on her comrades.

      I wonder if they will.

    • Ownbestenemy

      So the non-profit that honestly isn’t a bad idea if used correctly to post up bail, is prividing supplies to a group that they know will eventually turn violent and probably get arrested, which gets more donations to bail said people out….

      Not a grift at all.

  25. Not Adahn

    Ok, how fast can I rush through this training while still communicating enough so they pass the test and I don’t have to stay late again to teach night shift? ?

  26. Brett L

    Watching Number One Son do this is like watching a skit comedy about the world’s worst ninja candidate. He looks like Goner Pyle trying to do the obstacle course in Full Metal Jacket.

    • one true athena

      Make sure you’re taking video for the future graduation and/or wedding video of great embarrassment.

      • Mad Scientist

        I was under the impression that Florida Boy never graduates, and only gets married with a shotgun leveled at him.

      • Brett L

        My FIL was nice enough to paint his white and not point it directly at me.

      • R C Dean

        Probably has one he uses just for weddings.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Oh. I was worried Florida Boy has to do something truly terrible to become Florida Man.

    • Pope Jimbo

      My oldest son is a perfectionist and hates doing new things because he is worried he won’t do them well.

      So when he was a kid any time he got signed up for something new he’d pout (at best) and usually cry on the first day. My wife couldn’t stand it, so she would always make me be the ogre.

      I remember the first day of Tae Kwon Do vividly. The Altar Boy was crying a lot as we went into the gym. He wanted to leave, but I grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt and dragged him out onto the mat. The instructor gave me a quizzical look as he looked at this little 5 year old crying in his gym. I told him that once class started he’d be fine (and he was, once he realized he was actually pretty good at it).

      But as I turned around to leave the mat, I saw at least 8 mothers staring daggers at me. I’m surprised child welfare wasn’t called on me.

  27. The Late P Brooks

    Deep pockets in their sights

    The partner of one of the civil rights protesters who was shot and killed in Kenosha, Wisconsin, last month has sued Facebook, alleging that the tech company was negligent in failing to remove posts calling on local militia members to take up arms.

    The lawsuit quotes from Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg’s comment days after the shooting that Facebook made an “operational mistake” in not removing the page of the militia group, the Kenosha Guard.

    Hannah Gittings and three other plaintiffs who were protesters in Kenosha are asking the court to impose an injunction on Facebook that would prohibit the company “from violating its own policies that are designed to prevent violence.”

    ——-

    In the days before the Aug. 25 shooting, Facebook received more than 400 complaints and flags about the Kenosha Guard site and event page, saying the page was mired in violent rhetoric, according to the lawsuit.

    “In other words, Facebook received more than 400 warnings that what did happen was going to occur,” the lawsuit says

    If only they had censored that stuff we don’t like when we told them to, none of this would have happened.

    • B.P.

      I’m sure all of the businesses burned to the ground over the last few months during riots organized over social media have no such similar claims.

    • slumbrew

      civil rights protesters

      Odd way to spell “rioters”.

  28. Pope Jimbo

    Years ago I was up at our cabin which is about 100 miles away and thought I had managed to lose my truck keys. I called my wife to see if she’d drive the spares up. She was less than enthusiastic about the request. She told me I should at least call a local locksmith to see how much it would cost for him to get a new key.

    As I stormed around the cabin, I ended up finding the keys so I was able to get back.

    But now we have a metric called the “Radius of Love” in our house. It is defined by how far you’d drive to bring keys to your spouse. It varies and it is OK to announce that the ROL has changed based on events/actions in the marriage. Sometimes, the ROL is thousands of miles, sometimes it doesn’t even reach the driveway.

    • Brett L

      I like this. Some days I wouldn’t get off my ass to hand her the keys that were on the seat next to me.

      • slumbrew

        And other days you have to resist the urge to throw them right in the trash.

      • Brett L

        Nah but when she’s not pregnant again I might throw them under the couch and stand behind her while she looks for them.

      • slumbrew

        Alllll-riiight. Giggity giggity.

      • Drake

        Somebody didn’t learn his lesson…

      • Pope Jimbo

        Isn’t that how she got pregnant in the first place?

      • DEG

        You can’t get her more pregnant.

        TIWTANFL.

  29. The Late P Brooks

    If you ever wonder where the gender studies majors go after the graduate, the real answer isnt to the local coffee shop. They go work some $40k/year job at a non-profit, prepping for the revolution.

    These organizations are all connected to one another, they all funnel money to one another, and different ones serve different purposes, from bilking taxpayers to sweet talking corporate benevolence funds to coordinating volunteer help.

    And grant writing. Lots and lots of dipping into the grant slush funds.

    Because they do Good Things.

    I got a peek into the incestuous circlejerk of consultants and grant writers and local politicians, a few years ago. If you’re looking for something to burn down…

  30. Pope Jimbo

    Teen Vogue should write more on anal sex and give less space to loopy Minnesoda teens.

    Like many others in my generation, I grew up reading young adult dystopian novels. As I immersed myself in fantasy worlds ruled by fascist leaders, grappling with decrepit ecosystems, and in the throes of a growing revolution, I envisioned myself being one of the youth, fighting for their future on the line.

    Now, we are at the turning point in our own story. This election, we have the opportunity to lead our country in the right direction when it comes to the climate crisis. Many of us who turn 18 this year will be casting our first ballots in one of the most significant elections in United States history.

    The Greta wannabee is urging kids to quite caring so much about Covid and get back to some good old fashioned Climate Alarmism

    • Brochettaward

      That actually took a turn I wasn’t expecting. I mean, we already have a fascist in the White House and what with the fires and all aren’t we already in the decrepit ecosystem phase?

    • Suthenboy

      Maybe it will take a collapse of civilization for a new generation to get a grip on reality.

    • Rhywun

      As I immersed myself in fantasy worlds ruled by fascist leaders, grappling with decrepit ecosystems, and in the throes of a growing revolution, I envisioned myself being one of the youth, fighting for their future on the line them.

      FTFY

      • one true athena

        I’m suspicious that clumsy construction is a tell the author is not actually of the age they’re pretending they are. It’s probably some thirtysomething who read The Hunger Games when it first came out and is now pretending to be 18.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      “fighting for their future on the line”

      The wealthiest society in history, yet they are always fighting for their lives. Someone has really fucked up a lot of kids.

  31. The Late P Brooks

    Getting their rhtoric on

    Gun control advocates have also amplified their messages in the wake of Ginsburg’s death. “Make no mistake,” said Kris Brown, president of the Brady Campaign, “gun safety is on the ballot in November.”

    Noting Ginsburg’s long career as a legal “trailblazer,” Brown said the “loss is overshadowed by the reality that her seat, and potentially the fate of sensible gun laws in America, now rests in the hands of (Republican) Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell and President Trump. … Those laws and the hard-earned progress that activists and concerned Americans have won for generations are now in peril.”

    Vote or Die.

    • Hyperion

      “Make no mistake,” said Kris Brown, president of the Brady Campaign, “gun safety is on the ballot in November”

      I think that’s obvious considering the recent record gun and ammo sales. I think it’s also obvious that Kris Brown doesn’t know what that means for his side.

  32. The Late P Brooks

    Maybe it will take a collapse of civilization for a new generation to get a grip on reality.

    Nothing like an empty belly to reorder one’s priorities.

    • Suthenboy

      No shit.

      No access to water. No electricity. No food at hand. The other side of the river might as well be the dark side of the moon. Thugs stealing whatever you manage to scrounge up. No antibiotics. Swarms of pathogens bringing life expectancy down.
      Those conditions tend to wake people up.

      • Brochettaward

        We aren’t going to see a great collapse. There may be major crises but we are just on the slow downward slope of history.

      • Suthenboy

        “We aren’t going to see a great collapse.”

        California says “Here, hold this.” and holds out a can of beer.

    • Hyperion

      Proper pronouns are the top priority in a civilized society. Not sure what you mean.

  33. KibbledKristen

    Devils Tower was fucking amazing. /end

    • BakedPenguin

      Did you see the UFO?

      • KibbledKristen

        The secret UFO base was camouflaged when I was there, sadly

      • slumbrew

        You just have to play the right notes on your synthesizer and all will be revealed.

      • Surly Knott

        Getting a properly kitted out ARP 2500 is pretty tough these days.

    • dbleagle

      The sight from the top is fantastic as well. It is a pretty unusual place to get some great crack and stemming routes under your belt.

      • Gender Traitor

        a pretty unusual place to get some great crack

        Yes, I’d call that an unusual marketplace for that.

  34. Rhywun

    Looks like Louisville is about to undergo some natural urban renewal.

    Whatever that was, it’s gone now.

  35. Pope Jimbo

    Good, good, good

    The coronavirus pandemic appears to be accelerating a long-running decline in enrollment for St. Paul Public Schools.

    A preliminary count of 34,179 students through Tuesday is nearly 1,000 fewer than the district was projecting this fall and a decline of more than 6 percent from last fall.

    It will be months before state data becomes available to show where those students went, but private schools have reported increased interest from families wanting face-to-face classes. The St. Paul district began the year with distance learning at all grades.

    Story includes several teachers saying they want to reopen now. Maybe there are still some sane teachers left who understand that their temper tantrums about reopening might be their downfall.

    • Viking1865

      “coronavirus pandemic”

      Yeah there’s no other reason parents might be pulling their kids out of Twin Cities public schools. None.

  36. Raven Nation

    The thing about Ginsburg that strikes me is that she’s like a lot of the civil rights advocates that came of age in the 1960s. She really did encounter some no-shit discrimination both in attending law school and in seeking employment. I mean, some of the things she went through could be used as stereotypical descriptions of sex/gender discrimination. So, I will salute her for that crap and applaud her early legal work advocating against gender discrimination. Doesn’t mean I have to approve of everything else she did.

    Like all of us, there’s good and there’s shit.

    • Suthenboy

      She was a moron. She had all of the right lessons and drew all of the wrong conclusions. It was right there in black and white written down by people much smarter and more experienced but she just couldn’t understand what the writers were saying.

    • Mojeaux

      Thanks, RN. I think that’s how I think about her, if I thought about her at all.

    • Tulip

      I agree, she really did make a difference and she identified real problems. I don’t agree with all her solutions, but she definitely wasn’t a moron.

      • Suthenboy

        The foundational premise of our founding is the circumscription of powers granted to government. Our constitution is a contact between the people and the government granting power to do very certain things and nothing more. That contract forbids government from stepping outside those bounds. The only job of the SCOTUS is to see that government doesnt overstep those bounds.

        It is a short list of people that understand that and RBG is not on that list. It is very simple yet she missed it. I don’t think there is a single Nazgul on the court that does get it.

      • Bill (Door) Baggins (a Skellington)

        I’m going to steal your first paragraph as a great, simple outline of the purpose of the Constitution. You worded that very nicely.

      • Suthenboy

        Thank you, but I can’t take credit. Another commenter here, I am leaning towards RC, put it succinctly years ago and it stuck with me. I was paraphrasing.

      • Bill (Door) Baggins (a Skellington)

        Well I tip my top hat to both you and RC (if that’s who is the OP). It struck a chord with me, nonetheless.

      • R C Dean

        Not me. Maybe Ozy?

      • Suthenboy

        No sir, it was back in TOS days.

      • Bill (Door) Baggins (a Skellington)

        I was lurking around back then, but I missed that. Whoever it was, it is appreciated.

      • Rhywun

        With an assist from Morgan Fairchild.

      • Tulip

        The constitution isn’t a sacred text. I prefer it to alternatives, but people can disagree. As RC said, it makes her a not good judge. It doesn’t make her a moron. And as several people have said lately, that attitude, is turning this place into an echo chamber where anyone who dares to disagree is stupid and/or evil.

        I don’t mean to pick on you Suthen, you just provided the most convenient example. When it is only a comment once in a while, no problem. When it is too frequent, it’s just tiresome.

        Maybe I need a break from here.

      • Suthenboy

        I didnt feel picked on. You are fine. Stick around. If you leave that would just make this an echo chamber.

        Do you know what happens if you put props on a tree for too long? The wood becomes weak and when you remove the props the tree falls down.

        Over the past…uh….15 years?….I have learned a lot from people here and on no occasion have I learned anything from someone agreeing with me.
        Even if I disagree with you on anything you can be sure I am arguing in good faith and I expect you to do the same. If you argue in good faith I will never hold it against you or take anything you say personal. If you have the courage to make your case in earnest you will get respect. You can take that to the bank.

    • R C Dean

      I think that’s fair.

      I think she was a natural legislator, not judge. Which makes her, well, a not-good judge. And I have real issues with a Supreme Court Justice who thinks the Constitution was a big mistake.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I had forgotten about that. She praised modern South Africa’s as the standard nowadays if I remember correctly.

      • Suthenboy

        How is that SA thing working out these days? Did she comment on that?

    • Fourscore

      I want to the SC justices carrying her coffin on their shoulders while the crowd is fighting to touch the box. It tips over and out slides MS Ginsburg, for the laughs. If we are retreating to the 3rd World I want to see some 3rd world humor.

      SF could include that in his next episode.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I don’t think we’ll ever be able to match the Iranian funeral fervor. How many got trampled at Khomeini’s? Did they manage to hit a hundred?

      • B.P.

        Grabbing bits of the Ayatollah for souvenirs, if I recall correctly. That’s a different way to practice reverence than I’m used to.

      • juris imprudent

        SF could include that in his next episode.

        Either that or Hillary casting the resurrection spell.

    • juris imprudent

      Oh, and the Bee does it again.

      President Trump surprised everyone today when he announced he will not appoint a new justice to fill the Supreme Court seat previously held by the late Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Instead, to save the time that a lengthy confirmation process would take, he’s simply giving Justice Clarence Thomas two votes now.

      A two-fer even.

      Mourners gathered across the country this week to honor the life of Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Outside the Supreme Court, fans of the late RBG conducted a stirring, emotional memorial ceremony that ended with a beautiful 21-Molotov Cocktail Salute.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      It’s blatant vote buying and apparently LeBron’s been doing it too. Good luck getting said felons to show up though.

    • R C Dean

      I’m sure his investigation will be wrapped up just in time for Harris’s second term inauguration, too.

      • Sean

        Don’t harsh my buzz, dude.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Where in the hell do they find these lunatics?

  37. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

    Hi [trashy] , this is Ari, a volunteer with the Biden campaign. We’re looking for legal professionals, law students and others to join the fight to make sure all eligible voters have the opportunity to have their votes count. Are you interested in being a poll-observer in Texas on election day?

    What does the peanut gallery say? How should I respond? ?

    • Tulip

      You should be a poll observer. We need non Biden supporters to do it.

    • The Hyperbole

      Do it, It’s your civic duty. You can fulfil your end of the social contract for the year.

      • dbleagle

        Id you want some lulz. do it. But show up with a “Make Orwell Fiction Again” shirt and a “Gun Owners of America” hat. When the Biden leads tries to disallow you, tell them you will sue.

        Otherwise text back “Fuck off slaver.”

      • The Hyperbole

        Also I’ll pay you 1$ for every ballot you can surreptitiously change to a vote for Semi Bright Border Collie.

      • Gender Traitor

        Would a border collie help us achieve herd immunity from the COVID?

      • Cancelled

        Careful, this is the sort of joke that the humorless bureaucrats love to investigate.

      • Suthenboy

        Someone call Preet. I mean it is right there in his name…The Hyperbole. Ol’ Preet canid find out if he weighs as much as a duck.

    • Gender Traitor

      Tell them you’d be happy to help prevent voter fraud.

    • Suthenboy

      They arent going to cheat at the polls. They are using the USPS to do that.

    • B.P.

      On election day….

      “Pssst. Where do we dump the ballots from the red-leaning areas?”

    • Bill (Door) Baggins (a Skellington)

      You could ask Ari if she is gonna make you a sammich while you are working the polls.

      • Count Potato

        Ari is usually a guy’s name.

      • Bill (Door) Baggins (a Skellington)

        Swing and a miss. I was thinking short for Arianna or something.

    • Drake

      His mother called 911.

      • Mojeaux

        Yes, to help her calm him down because he had a meltdown over her going back to work. He didn’t deserve to be shot just because 911 was called.

      • Drake

        I agree. But don’t call 911 unless you want somebody shot.

      • Mojeaux

        Most people don’t think that way.

      • UnCivilServant

        What do they think the murder line is for?

      • Mojeaux

        I’ll assume you’re being cheeky, but I’ll answer seriously because I forgot to say this:

        MOST people see 911 as HELP. “When you need help, call 911.”

        The mother had a reasonable expectation of receiving help (I’m going to assume the kid is bigger than she). She did not have a reasonable expectation of her mentally deficient child being shot.

      • blackjack

        Yes, and that’s the problem that these Marxist assholes have buried. Any chance of slowing the injustice was lost when they started looting, burning and attacking innocent people. The more they do it, the more normal people just want somebody to crack their skulls and make them stop. All out gang war in the streets has never been the answer for police brutality. Injustice is injustice, in anybody’s name.

      • DWB

        “Injustice is injustice, in anybody’s name.”

        Brilliant!

      • Rhywun

        I called 911 after a recent health emergency. I suppose I could have called an Uber to take me to the hospital but I bet the driver would not have been very happy with me.

      • Gender Traitor

        I think – hope – that calling for a medical emergency is less hazardous than calling for law enforcement. I had to call 911 for Tom T a couple of years ago. I sure as hell couldn’t have gotten him to the ER myself, and Uber would have been no better.

      • Rhywun

        Yeah, my forebrain says I would be reluctant to dial 911 for the cops, but my hindbrain might think differently if I was actually in the middle of that situation.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Not a knock on you but once the dust settled we found out that my dad drove himself 20 miles to the VA at 1am (probably drunk; he was an alcoholic) to check himself in when his throat cancer flared up.

        Uber or ambulances are friends.

      • Rhywun

        Well, I was leaking multiple kinds of fluid and I don’t own a car. ?‍♂️

        And now you know… the rest of the story.

      • Ted S.

        I’m sure the Uber driver would have been thrilled trying to get your dick out of the faucet.

      • juris imprudent

        Anyone who has failed to gain the awareness that police want compliance and will employ any degree of force to get it – doesn’t deserve to be a parent. Sorry to be so harsh – but JFC, do you pay NO attention to the news? It isn’t like this is the first time this has ever happened.

      • Rhywun

        I hate to be contrary… 🙂

        But nobody hears about the 99+% of 911 incidents that work out fine. We only hear the extraordinary stories like these.

      • blackjack

        I’d be inclined to agree, if we’re talking about normal people. Throw in mental illness and I’m more on the cops are dangerous side. It’s not right and it’s not a certainty, but if this particular autist goes to far in a given direction, it’s a good bet the cops will either thrash him badly or kill him. They don’t really account for people who don’t understand their concerns and demands. It’s often, “Obey or die.”

      • Rhywun

        Fair enough. That is an awful situation. I’m not going to second-guess her decision, though.

      • juris imprudent

        You may be right statistically – but the risk.

      • Mojeaux

        doesn’t deserve to be a parent.

        Seriously?

      • juris imprudent

        If you care about a person, you don’t call the cops on them.

        You call the cops to deal with someone you don’t give a shit about what happens to them.

      • Mojeaux

        Yeah, okay. May you walk a mile in those shoes.

      • blackjack

        Sure don’t make it right.

        However, if anyone has a “not-quite-right ” relative and they don’t bother to come up with a plan that doesn’t include cops, They certainly have quaint ideas and bear some responsibility in the outcome. It’s not hard to find examples of that type of call ending in needless death.

      • Cancelled

        Why would anyone ever call libertarians uncaring?

      • juris imprudent

        Sure, just like I would tell a black parent that there was no need to have “the talk” with their son – because you can trust the police.

      • juris imprudent

        And I should add – I have had nearly infinitely more positive experiences with LE than I have negative ones. That doesn’t mean I trust them, and least of all in a situation with someone I care about.

      • Cancelled

        There is a difference between the pre incident:

        I would advise you not to call the police in this situation because the police are entirely oriented toward conflict and will take your child’s distress as hostility and may harm them.

        and the post shooting

        Should have known better; you don’t deserve to have a child.

        One is helpful advice the other is fairly harsh.

      • juris imprudent

        Fair point – and I would *never* make that comment to the grieving parent.

      • Cancelled

        I want to be clear, I gave the same advice just the other day here on Glibs about TH. I completely agree that you should NEVER call the police for any purpose other than siccing them on a criminal.

      • Rhywun

        I don’t disagree.

        I honestly don’t know who she could call in that situation.

      • Ted S.

        Ghostbusters?

      • blackjack

        I have a black kid and I don’t know how to explain that to him. I don’t trust cops, and it has nothing to do with race. They’ve screwed with me my whole life. They are not your friend, unless it’s in a scenario where you are plainly and obviously the victim, and even then… There had better be some clear evidence of a serious crime, before I ask them for help, I’ll tell you that.

      • blackjack

        How is it uncaring to advise people to be cautious when calling 911? Clearly that advise would have saved the boy and his mom quite a bit of suffering in the instant case, no?

      • Cancelled

        He isn’t advising anyone. He is deriding them after the fact. It is the difference between “Do not walk down a dark alley in a miniskirt at 3 am” and “Bitch asked for it”

      • blackjack

        Yeah, I guess the real question should be, “why should everyone have to be street smart? Why can’t the cops just stop violently attacking everyone who doesn’t understand their specific training dictates?”

        Not many people can switch instantly into massive violent high stress mode. We’re not trained for it. They just might not want to drop their 1000 dollar phone on the ground. Shouldn’t cops make some effort to understand that?

      • Cancelled

        Years ago I almost got shot by a cop. A drifter came in my nightclub and started showing women on the dance floor his full sized Bowie knife and making threats. We ‘subdued’ him and took the knife and threw him out whereupon someone who had no clue what was going on flagged a cop to report us for ‘attacking’ the poor innocent. (ok, we subdued him thoroughly and I had to be pulled off him because I was 1. scared to death and 2. enraged that some piece of crap had just come within inches of disembowelling me) When the cop came in to investigate I (in the grip of adrenaline) held up the knife and started to walk toward the cop to show it to him. Next thing I know the cop has his gun half way out of the holster and is screaming drop it. If one of my female staff hadn’t grabbed me and got my attention I am not sure my thinking brain would have had time to register that the cop was seeing me as a threat before I got shot.

  38. cyto

    Funny. Our ninja gym has a handful of dudes training. They uniformly eschew shirts. And for some reason all the moms stay to wait for their kids.

    • Mad Scientist

      Are they offended by the female gaze?

      • Rhywun

        I’m guessing they encourage it.

      • Cancelled

        I have known two kinds of male gym rats. Body builder types, of whatever persuasion, who love being ogled, (and are often observed ogling themselves in the mirror). Power lifter dudes who couldn’t care less what the look like, (usually like a barrel), and who live for the day when they can add another plate, and if they notice you staring at them may take it as a challenge.

    • BakedPenguin

      Is it legal for Canadians to receive health care in the US? I mean they’re not UK citizens. For that matter, Canada itself might still have some private options.

      • Count Potato

        Lauren is an angel, so I posted it in case any of the medical glibs could help.

      • But Enough About My Weird Culinary Fantasies

        It’s perfectly legal. In some cases, it’s even covered by the Canadian’s provincial health plan.

        There are private options in Canada: Vancouver has several private clinics (which the provincial NDP government seems Hell-bent on closing), Alberta has a few (mostly in Calgary), and the centre of the hypocrite’s universe, Montreal, has more private clinics than everywhere else in Canada combined, but is filled with people who RHEEEEEEEEEEEE everytime they hear about anybody in Alberta or B.C. trying to exercise private options.

        I’ve used private options twice. Absolutely superior experiences, and fast, too!

      • Broswater

        It’s okay when we do it. /Leftist Montrealer

  39. grrizzly

    Wearing mask stopped the virus in its tracks. Totally.

    France will order bars and restaurants shut in Marseille and restrict their opening hours in other cities including Paris as part of efforts to stem a continuing rise in the daily number of infections, Health Minister Olivier Véran announced on Wednesday.

    Like other European countries where the infection rate has soared in the past month, France is tightening limits on public and private gatherings in the hardest hit areas.

    Véran, the health minister, unveiled a new “national framework” on Wednesday, with government recommendations to local authorities depending on where they stand on a new colour-coded map of the country with “red”, “super-red” and even “scarlet” areas.

    • DEG

      I’m certain it is somehow my fault for my not wearing masks.

      To show how much I care, after I shower I will head out to get a late dinner and not wear a mask.

    • Suthenboy

      Even scarlet?! Ewwwww….scarlet….that’s really bad like a hairy, warty hobgoblin with black fingernails and stinky breath.

      Fear is the mind killer.

    • juris imprudent

      Well there is no question that ownership is incompetent. Why would anyone expect the employees to be above them?

    • R C Dean

      They have so far. Why would they change?

      Oh, and yes, there is no question at all that Biden Jr’s foreign dealings created a conflict of interest.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Yeah, they’ll cover for him no doubt. Whether it’ll work, who knows.

      • Sean

        I dunno. I’m getting a suspicion that this will torpedo what is left of his campaign.

        Maybe I’m just too optimistic.

      • BakedPenguin

        Biden & Co. squealed quid pro quo over and over again, which goes well with the video evidence of Biden literally bragging he himself benefited from one by applying pressure to get a foreign official removed who was investigating Biden, Jr.

        Anyone on the left who does not at least acknowledge the sleaze is not worth talking to.

  40. The Late P Brooks

    His mother called 911.

    Did she call 911 for police assistance, or did the cops just tag along to “back up” the EMTs, as they often do?

  41. Tundra

    How about a more pleasant topic: dogs.

    My wife and I are planning to adopt a senior pup. I realize that sounds loco, but whatever.

    For those of you who have done it, any advice?

    • Mad Scientist

      You’ll like this dog, Tundra.

      • Tundra

        Fuck yeah.

        I love that dog!

    • LJW

      I’ve never adopted a senior dog, but I have a senior dog, that has heart disease and can’t control his bladder. I wouldn’t recommend it.

    • Suthenboy

      No chewing stage. Make it an inside dog, give it lots of attention and treats.

      *looks over shoulder at 4 senior rescue dogs sleeping on couch*

      And patience, lots of patience. They are old, you arent going to train them, they are going to train you.

      I recommend.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Senior pups need homes too. Just know they come ‘trained’ and might not always do what you want.

      Southen hit the highlights. I also recommend

    • Ownbestenemy

      Wife questions: how much land? No kids right? How old you looking?

      • Tundra

        Not much land, but I’ve never let the dogs be out without me.

        Kids are in college,

        Dog is 13, but who the fuck knows. I don’t really care about the age. I just don’t want great pups to die on concrete because their owners died or can’t take care of them.

    • Fourscore

      Tundra, My daughter that you just met adopted a 5 year old Wiemaraner , she said its great, no puppy training, quiet, friendly, well mannered…

      • Tundra

        Thank you.

        I am now committed.

    • UnCivilServant

      This is why you have moats.

    • Mad Scientist
    • Cancelled

      No difference between the brick clad house and the real brick house…

      • blackjack

        She’s mighty mighty!

  42. Count Potato

    “YouTube has censored today’s Ron Paul Liberty Report discussing two whistleblowers challenging parts of the coronavirus narrative. They have issued my YouTube channel a “warning” which they say could lead to the removal of my channel. I have appealed their decision.”

    https://twitter.com/RonPaul/status/1308849979730071554

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      No questioning of the established pseudoscientific narrative allowed. He ought to know that.

  43. CPRM

    Back home again and back to work tomorrow night. It was a relaxing trip, nice to meet some Glibs and not get stabbed and or raped.

    • Count Potato

      Because that happened at the last meet?

      • Cancelled

        Certainly Pretty Red Mouth

  44. wchipperdove

    Should have posted this on the Hat & Hair Hillary & Huma thread, but it’s kind of old now. Anyway:

    “Abedin”
    (to the tune of “Abilene,” recorded by George Hamilton IV)

    Abedin, Abedin,
    Prettiest gal I’ve ever seen,
    Except perhaps for the occasional teen
    Is Abedin, my Abedin.

    I sat alone in my prison cell
    Missing you was lit’rally Hell.
    Hoping you weren’t spilling the beans
    O Abedin, my Abedin.

    Abedin, Abedin,
    That social media sure can be mean.
    Real sorry ‘bout that selfie you seen,
    My Abedine, sweet Abedin.

    Don’t you worry your pretty head ‘bout me,
    Hope you’ve kept your laptop clean.
    If only we could’ve won in ’16,
    O Abedin, my Abedin.

    Abedin, Abedin,
    What good times you and I had seen.
    Wonderin’ where this all leaves me,
    My Abedin, sweet Abedin.

    • Cancelled

      Needs more dick pics.

      • wchipperdove

        Some people just can’t be pleased.

      • Mojeaux

        I laffed.