ZARDOZ SPEAKS TO YOU, HIS CHOSEN ONES. TO CONCLUDE THE DAY OF THE CRYPTIDS, ZARDOZ WILL GIVE ADVICE OF SUPERIOR QUALITY. NO MERE BRUTAL CAN ADVISE THE CHOSEN ONES IN CORRECT BEHAVIOR! THE ADVICE MUST STAY TRUE TO THE PRINCIPLES OF THE VORTEX! 1) THE PENIS IS EVIL! 2) THE GUN IS GOOD! 3) THE FILTH OF BRUTALS MUST BE CLEANSED.
THEREFOR, RECEIVE THE GIFT OF ADVICE. GO FORTH AND COMMENT!
Q: I’m a 35-year-old single mom. I’ve dated a few people over the last seven years, but none of them wanted to commit. Several months ago, I started seeing “Joey,” a friend of a couple of years. He’s sweet, respectful, hardworking, and he helps me whenever I need it.
Joey is on the heavy side, but he’s clean and kempt. I introduced him to my mom, and she continues to say he is “gross.” She refers to him only as “that man” and never by his name. He has always been very polite and has never said anything to her out of the way.
My son and I have lived with Mom ever since my divorce, and I have helped her out with more than my share of the bills and groceries. I’m currently trying to buy a house, but the market is competitive with the low interest rates. I work full time, take great care of my son and do lots of chores around the house.
How can I convince my mother to accept Joey, or should I ignore what she says as long as he’s good to my son and me?
A: ZARDOZ IS GOING TO HAVE TO SIDE MOM ON THIS ONE – DO YOU NOT RECALL THAT THE PENIS IS EVIL? BUT IF YOU MUST PERSIST IN YOUR HERESY, THEN THERE IS AN EASY SOLUTION. HAVE “JOEY” GIVE MOM A HUG, AND “ACCIDENTALLY” FALL OVER AND SMOTHER HER WITH HIS BULK. ONCE SHE HAS BEEN CLEANSED, YOU INHERIT THE HOUSE. WIN-WIN. YOU ARE WELCOME.
Q: My younger sister is a bipolar, narcissistic, psychotic, evil woman with bachelor’s and master’s degrees in psychology and counseling. She has hated me from birth. I know exactly what she is, and she can’t stand that I do.
She spreads lies about me because our mother was alive for my wedding and not for hers and, according to her, it’s my fault. (Mama died 10 years ago.) I made her maid of honor at my wedding and godmother to my child, but no matter what I do, she complains to anyone who will listen about what a horrible person she thinks I am. Because of her education, family members believe everything she says without question.
Our adult lives have been spent with her shutting me out and gossiping about me to extended family. How can I convince my relatives to listen to me? I have no one on my side when it comes to her because the family knows about her mental health issues and tell me to get over it. I can’t! Please help me.
A: ZARDOZ MUST MAKE SURE HE HAS THE DATA CORRECT ON THIS… YOU SAY YOUR SIBLING HAS HATED YOU FROM BIRTH, IS BIPOLAR, NARCISSISTIC AND EVIL. YET YOU MADE THIS PERSON YOUR MAID OF HONOR AND THE GODPARENT OF YOUR CHILD? NOW THAT IS SOME PARENTING THAT ZARDOZ CAN APPROVE OF! THIS WILL INEVITABLY LEAD TO AT LEAST ONE MURDER, MAYBE A MURDER-SUICIDE. ZARDOZ SHOULD BE SO LUCKY.
IF NO SUCH CLEANSINGS OCCUR, THE ONLY USE FOR THE LOT OF YOU IS THE GRAIN FIELDS.
TIME TO WORK OUT THOSE MENTAL ISSUES.
ZARDOZ HAS SPOKEN.
I made her maid of honor at my wedding and godmother to my child
If you knew she hates you, why did you do this?
Yeah, methinks sis isn’t the only crazy one in that family.
Popular saying among mental health professionals:
“The apple never fails far from the tree”.
IOW, certain things tend to run in families.
Nature vs nurture? It’s really hard to separate the two when it involves a family. Often, however, it seems like there may be one or more that is an outlier and appears normal.
That normal outlier is called the “Marilyn” of the family.
Think ‘The Munsters’.
Familial pressure?
Srsly. That smacks of mom pressure and possibly sister pressure.
Day of the Cryptids has left me feeling all warm and fuzzy.
I wonder how many normies stumble onto this site and can’t figure out just WTF is going on? Especially if they saw us on a good day – a really clear, concise post about something truly relevant to libertarianism – then the second time stumbled back to a Cryptid post.
It really doesn’t worry or even concern me, it’s just an idle thought about the site.
Fuck em if they can’t take a joke.
As long as they have no Y-chromosomes, meet my minimum attractiveness standards, and I can get my wife’s approval… OK, I guess you’re gonna have to handle this one.
I wonder how many normies stumble onto this site.
and never recover…
All the rape jokes must have caused at least one fainting spell.
The jokes are the result of no libertarian women.
A Cryptid day has nothing on a Sugar Free day.
“…has left me feeling all warm and fuzzy.”
That’s just the chafing and the loose fur.
You rang?
Well, she did say he’s on the heavy side.
James Coco, Hollywood actor, was a tad on the heavy side, as in 250 lbs or so. He went on a serious diet, and said for every 50 lbs lost it was like adding an inch to his penis. He lost over a 100 lbs, made his wife a happy lady.
James Coco – Biography – IMDb
[Search domain http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0168394/bio%5D https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0168394/bio
The James Coco Diet, an educational book which included chapters on menu planning and behavior modification as well as choice recipes), was just one that he promoted on the talk show circuit. It is probably not a coincidence that he often played characters with extreme food issues. Suffering from obesity (5’10”, 250 lbs.) for most his adult …
A loudmouth Texan with a huge potbelly is standing at the bar, drinking, and talking to just about everybody.
A young guy walks up and asks “How can you even get close enough to a women to have sex with that belly of yours?”
The Texan replies “Son. You are the 3rd short-peckered son of a bitch to ask me that today.”
The worst thing about having a belly?
Never seeing the other 6 inches.
I checked the actual advice:
Hahahaha yeah no shit.
No, it pretty much DOES guarantee it.
Same as my experience but on the other hand not every schizo has advanced degrees, again from my very personal experiece
Yep. Every psychology major or professional psychologist I’ve met have been nuts.
I think they are drawn to psychology to figure out what they are the way they are.
I have a friend who is a social worker, with degrees in psychology and other related stuff. He says most of his employees get into psych and social work because they’re trying to figure themselves out and deal with their own issues, just as you said. Of course, he says, this often is a bad combination for people whose jobs are to counsel others.
I’ve thought the same thing. Had an eye doctor that wore really thick glasses. He took the glasses off to use a microscope to look at my eye, was feeling around the table for his glasses afterwords.
Dermatologist with skin disorders, etc.
I have a friend who got nailed for his third DUI a few years ago. During his court mandated “counseling” where he told the “counselor” he was not going to quit drinking because it made him happy and helped him deal with life. Towards the end of his court mandated time there the counselor took him aside and said he should get into counseling. This man is the greatest bullshitter I have came across in 55 years of life. He is a master at it. I think the counselor saw that because that is all counseling is.
Excuse me, but all of those people are called doctor now. Clearly much smarter and well adjusted than the rest of us.
You do tend to see a lot of psychological issues in those going into the psychology/counseling professions, though there are many who are relatively normal, of course. And perhaps a few with bipolar disorder, a few more than that with recurring major depression. But few if any with schizophrenia, as this is a very debilitating disease that typically strikes between age 18-21, and the overwhelming symptoms make the further studies and training needed after that age window very, very difficult to undergo, definitely near impossible to complete.
Psychiatrists, who are physicians, probably have the most “regular folk” among those in mental health, though they have more than their share of wacky ones too, especially the ones now over 65, who were trained in the psychoanalysis era. Those 60 and under are for the most part well balanced. It’s likely due to the nine years of science and medical education they must do prior to the commencement of the psychiatric training; that’s a long time to wait and a lot to get through if you’re just looking to solve your own issues.
And are probably self weeded out by the regimen.
All hail Zardoz!
Hi Zardoz.
Do you really count as a cryptid?
Regardless, that’s some solid advice for both idiots. Well done.
Zardos is no blood relative of the Smith cousins, but he is an honorary cryptid.
I still strongly resent the exclusion of Snow Smith.
But whatever, it’s not my site.
I was hoping to add another female EE to the team for you, but she is oddly attracted by civil. Kids…
She wants to make sure the turds flow downhill?
That’s my girl!
Still, there are worse goals.
Tell her it’s more fun to make weapons than it is to make targets.
More serious gripe about civil engineering: most jobs will require a Professional Engineer license and other government hoops to jump through.
Before she formally declares, I sure would love to set you two up to talk…
Licensing is a racket. (EE with PE doing more CE & ME like stuff)
And you.
The PE is a requirement to get ahead, but not necessary to work in the field. As long as you work under the supervision of a PE, you are good. Plus, if you are good at testing getting your PE ain’t that bad, and keeping it just requires sitting through some BS lectures a few times a year and paying token fees. Although the latter part might vary by state, as each state manages their own certification.
Not a real engineer, but if she skips the CE route for another engineering type program, particularly one that’s less traditional engineering, might want to double check that it’s an ABET accredited program to keep future options open. That usually one of the prereqs for the PE route.
(unpopular opinion) PE is a scam. Don’t fall for it.
Like all programs, it was a good idea but as it matured it was captured by bureaucracy.
If you want to have a business that does engineering, you don’t have a choice.
Congrats to Florida for dropping all Covid restrictions.
Now do cryptid restrictions
Cryptids do you!
It’s a plot by their evil governor to kill all the old people who’d vote Democrat and ensure Trump wins Florida!
No shit? We are re-starting “easy access testing” again to curb the spread. I so wish I wasn’t such a fuckup and became a journalist or a lawyer. I hate to waste the amount of rage I have just ranting here.
Let the hate flow through you.
If the ranting makes you feel better, the rage isn’t wasted.
YET YOU MADE THIS PERSON YOUR MAID OF HONOR AND THE GODPARENT OF YOUR CHILD? NOW THAT IS SOME PARENTING THAT ZARDOZ CAN APPROVE OF! THIS WILL INEVITABLY LEAD TO AT LEAST ONE MURDER, MAYBE A MURDER-SUICIDE.
LOL
Zardoz has issues. Ok, me too, that did indeed make me laugh.
https://mobile.twitter.com/Pismo_B/status/1309635220300152832
This girl can be a brutal. She’s got plans.
Worth watching to the end for the media comment, I very uncomfortably burst out laughing.
If Zardoz feels like gifting me a gun, some czechnology would get put to good use.
Want one. Can’t justify the price.
It’s easier for me to justify since I down own a 10mm yet. However, I can’t justify buying ANY new gun until I’m better with the ones I already have.
“I can’t justify buying ANY new gun until I’m better with the ones I already have.”
Yeah. Get rid of that “rule”.
Nope I need to shoot moar. More ammo, more bucks spent on ammo.
Head for the hills.
Or at least change the locks.
Takes one to know one?
Yeah, I didn’t actually make it further into that swamp before commenting.
They’re both nuts.
^this^
Because then she’ll need another victim, who is not you.
Four Amber Alerts today and the only message is “check local news”.
Yeah… no.
Andy is really helping.
Does anyone have a resource that describes some of the meals served at the Imperial Russian court?
Recipies would be nice but are not required if there’s enough information.
I could direct you to a chef that recreates Ottoman palace recipes. No Russian, tho.
Do they have a website?
It was the Bourdain CNN episode in Turkey
🙁
That isn’t as helpful.
Oh for cryin out loud – I’ll see if I can find the name of the chef
I’m sorry, I don’t mean to sound pushy.
Or ungrateful.
Or whatever the elusive adjective actually is.
https://www.asitanerestaurant.com/English/
Best I can do
Thank you.
A while back, I was reading a biography of the Romanov sisters I’d borrowed from the library – it must have been this one. I don’t remember specifically that it mentioned meals, but it went into painstaking detail about the girls’ daily lives…so much detail that I finally abandoned the book. I think that happened at the point where the author was listing item by item how much the girls spent on what sort of clothes.
As a reference book such minutiae might be helpful.
I also sent another unrelated email.
I just got on the wait list for the library’s copy of the Romanov e-book, in case you can’t find it from your local library. (Luckily, I’m apparently first in line.) When I get it, I’ll try searching through it for food-related terms.
Got your e-mail. I’ll read the passage in the morning when I’m fresh. As usually happens around this time on Friday evenings, my eyes are starting to slam shut.
I believe horse sausages were a favorite of Catherine the Great.
royal-menus.com
Also, if the Russian section doesn’t give you what you want, you could try the Hapsburgs, too, for other dish possibilities.
Joey sounds HAWT
Yeah, I’m sure the mother hates him for absolutely no reason at all…
It’s because he puts things in her dog’s butthole. But refuses to do the same for her.
An interesting FanFic.
You have a plausible theory.
Stolid + hefty = zexy
Zexy Trash Bagsᵀᴹ We make garbage hawt!
Brings new meaning to “hot garbage”
Whoooah!
Joey, baby, [let’s get] crazy…
K. I just got turned away from my gym because I forgot my mask. Wearing it is not required when inside and working out, but I’m not allowed to have my id scanned without wearing it. This is just cargo cult bullshit.
Yes. Yes it is. I need a mask to check in as I walk past a packed Zumba class with nary a mask in sight.
Ladies Neph set up Zoom/Happy Hour/Sanity discussion (for given values of sanity)... Join us!
Neph got a sex change?
Join and watch his new tits!
?
I’m barely conscious….
Yeah, join the club.
Did you stop by Mt. Rushmore on your way to the Badlands? They’re practically across the street from each other.
LOL…I skirted around Rushmore. Took 16A from the south and went through Keystone and up through Mystic & Rochford then through Spearfish. Badlands was meh for me.
Badlands was meh for me.
This is what I love most about the world.
The Badlands are probably in my top 10 places I’ve ever visited. But I completely understand why you wouldn’t dig them.
I hope Spearfish Canyon made you tingle, though.
I looooooooooved Devils Tower and the surrounding area. I was 100% smitten. I loved the Hills…that 16A drive was incredible. I just prefer mountains and trees and stuff to moonscapes.
I think the Badlands would have been more interesting if I could have had some kind of interpretive geological info, but the park is essentially shut. The Reifel visitor’s center was shut except for the crappers. There was major road construction from Reifel to Wall, which greatly diminished the experience.
Did you see the rock climbers at Devil’s Tower. I couldn’t believe my eyes! And I learned later these crazy climbers do it without ropes or pitons and can climb all the way up and down in one day.
Forget the climbers. I want to know about the aliens.
It’s Amy Coney Barret!
Get ready for the shitshow.
Was it going to be anything else regardless of who it was?
No, but even more pants shitting is a feature, not bug. I hear Nadler is already warmed up for the event.
Whooohoooo!!! Party time!
The only issue now, is her tits Glib certified?
Never change NYT, never change.
‘I Feel Sorry for Americans’: A Baffled World Watches the U.S.
When you’ve lost some random asshole in Myanmar…
You just find like minded people in a bunch of countries, interview them and create an article.
From Myanmar to Canada, people are asking: how can we fit all of these people in our humble woodchippers?
Finally, the left turns on Clinton!
It’s projection. And the audacity to think we might not compare what another TEAM said.
I appreciate their concern trolling.
They aint wrong except the reason. We were not feld by the virus, we were toppled by the response.
My wife has discovered OANN on Pluto.
These aren’t the ‘droids you’re looking for… Different article notes 7 are for Trump and 2 are undisclosed.
County officials offer explanation on tossed ballots
Sure. Pull that other one and you might end up pleasuring me.
How can I convince my mother to accept Joey, or should I ignore what she says as long as he’s good to my son and me?
Sometimes you just gotta go for it. My mother married my father over her parents’ objection, and nearly four decades later they are still happily married. It doesn’t always work out like that, but no one owes you their acceptance so if you consider their judgement and still decide they are wrong you’ve got to live your own life for yourself.
“,,,you’ve got to live your own life for yourself.”
Preach it, brutha!
Look, the mum wanted a fit handsome guy who she could practice her cougar skills on.
Sisters who don’t get along? What is this world coming to?
We have three daughters. You can imagine how well things go after a day or two.
I’ve got two. There is the occasional difficult moment but they are great friends.
Two are fine, three turns into “gang-up” territory. Chicks, Man.
I have 3 granddaughters, sisters. They are not talking to each other. I had 2 brothers, we loved fishing/hunting/beer drinking/BS together.
Even helping each other with projects…
On Pornhub there are sisters that are very close. IYKWIMAITYD.
The only way to solve this, is to have at least 2 girls, but one boy in the family, the youngest, who will be the subject of constant abuse by the girls who unite for the cause. The sisters will then get along great for life and the poor male sibling will probably be committed to an asylum before his 18th birthday.
I actually know this because I once had a friend who grew up with 6 sisters, him being the baby. Nice guy, but he had some real issues, like being constantly paranoid
Oh my god.
I’m serious. The guy would tell me how when he was a kid, they’d lock him in a closet all day long and other terrible shit. I could tell he wasn’t making it up. He had deep battle scars.
I believe you. Some people like to pick up puppies by the tail and it gets worse if they have allies.
He really had deep issues. I remember a couple of times, he’d ask me ‘so I’m thinking about asking this chick out, do you think she would like me? I’m worried she won’t like me. And sometimes he’d just get real paranoid, he’d say ‘hey you know this guy (a co-worker who worked with both of us), I think he’s talking about me, I don’t think he likes me, I don’t know what do do’. And I’d say ‘man, would you just stop worrying about what people think? Who cares?’. He moved away and I haven’t talked to him since, but I’d always be thinking ‘man, that dudes siblings really fucked him up in the head’.
*starts thinking what childhood would have been like if elder Brother was a Sister* Implosion.
The Grisham book about the guy falsely convicted and sent to death row, he had two older sisters who doted on him all his life… and he was a sociopath, a narcissist who manifested schizophrenic traits later in life. He wasn’t guilty of murder, but definitely guilty of being an exploitative, self-involved asshole.
So maybe having a couple older sisters keep the male ego in line isn’t the worst thing.
Never had a Sister. Just think of the opportunities!
I’ve seen those videos.
I have two. But I cheated, never lived with either of them.
Two older sisters. Welcome to my childhood. Instead of the asylum, I ended up here.
It’s ok Plinker. This is a safe space.
I don’t remember the event, but I’ve been told I dropped a trap door on one of my sisters when I was a wee child.
She probably had it coming. Like all the times I got whipped for nothing and knew that I’d fucked up elsewhere.
The only difference is that all the Glibs are walking around free.
Are you sure? We might be in a giant zoo.
It’s a simulation.
A simulation of a simulation inside another giant simulation?
Simulations all the way down.
https://youtu.be/zplgmh8ga78
OMG white is capitalized!
Ha! Wifey walked in on me watching that porn!
Ted’S wet dream.
“My younger sister is a bipolar, narcissistic, psychotic”
You know how words morph into fancier words when either ‘professional’ people, or mentally ill folk masquerading as professionals take it upon themselves to redefine words?
Exampes:
heartburn = acid reflux
housewife = domestic engineer.
communist = socialist = progressive = liberal
mentally disturbed = woke
And in this case: narcissistic + psychotic + evil = bipolar
I’d agree but the last one should read sociopathic.
I’ve known 2 people who were diagnosed bipolar. It may not be the same for everyone who has that condition, but sociopath would fit as well.
I remember one lady I had been dating for about a week and she seemed super nice, and then one day she called me and just started screaming at me out of nowhere. It wasn’t really out of nowhere, we’d had some discussion earlier that I guess ‘triggered it’, totally freaked me out. Then about 10 minutes later she called me up and started frantically apologizing. I hung up. Sirens and red flashing lights just started going off in my mind. I’m thinking fuck I barely know you, what the hell do you think gives you any right to talk to me like that? I mean, normal people who barely know you, do not behave that way. Found out from someone that knows her, much later, she was fucking cray cray bipolar and had a history of that type behavior. She told me that it was well known to her family and friends, and that she would just suddenly out of nowhere start getting very aggressive with people and sometimes fly into a rage.
Years later I met a person who told me ‘I’m bipolar’ but I’m OK most of the time because I take my medicine. I just quietly stopped talking to that person. I felt bad about it, but no way, not again. Fuck that shit.
Psyche-ward romance separates the men from the boys.
Might be OK if they’re kept there. Not worth the eventual stalking otherwise.
Depends who is stalking whom https://youtu.be/eKbk7BPXBa4
Even better https://youtu.be/vAzUh_H7yV0
This one seems somewhat appropriate
Yeah. Peter does obsession really well.
No one is going to post a Fatal Attraction clip?
Gah! Eldest Daughter and her spawn just dropped by. Grandson #1 brought along his girlfriend. Where the fuck did the time go? Granddaughter is 12 going on 21. I am officially too old for this shit.
Yeah, I get it. I thank God often that our kids are now in their 30s and live hundreds or thousands of miles away. Love seeing the little grandchildren. That’s great as long as you can ship them back to their parents when you want.
Kids are in their 50s. Every day is a ‘crisis’.
First control was taken away from the city. Next the state police said Portland police officers would be able to use riot control agents despite a ban by the city government that the police bureau is supposed to be subordinate to. Now city cops are going to be deputized as federal marshals. Will be interesting to see what happens tomorrow.
https://www.oregonlive.com/portland/2020/09/some-portland-police-officers-to-be-deputized-as-federal-officers-for-saturdays-proud-boy-rally-counter-protests.html
I never thought that I would see the day that I’d wish for cops to start cracking some heads but here we are. Fuck those cry-bullies.
“I never thought that I would see the day that I’d wish for cops to start cracking some heads…”
Same here, but that sentiment requires a civil society. The Communists have succeeded in destroying that in Portland. We have an open insurrection and if we dont get a handle on it soon things will get very bad.
You’re not the only one. I feel utterly disgusted with myself when I think about it. And want to see those vermin washed into the river.
Right there with you.
There is something about seeing a mob swarm an individual that elicits a desire to see something really bad happen to the mob.
We’ve let the inmates run the asylum.
Yep.
https://twitter.com/oregongovbrown/status/1308834141312557064?s=21
Wow I’m drunk. Was hoping the zoom was still on but it ain’t. Howdy glibs
We were all drunk and let it wash away like tears in the rain. Howdy, Own! I’m shit-faced again too!
I’ll start my own zoom with blackjack and hookers…
zoom zoom zoom
Who’s Zoomin Who
Why are the comments disabled for that video?
I have no idea.
Who’s cheatin’ who?
I’m never shy of crowbarring in some AJ at the drop of a hat. Never leave me unattended at the jukebox.
A plainer time, a nicer time
I kinda dug on those neon colors.
Aaaargh! A band that I admire released a video wherein everyone but the singer was wearing a talismask. Now I can’t listen to them anymore. Fuck!
Such an obvious political ploy. Why don’t you just knock me over the head with your woke 2X4. It would be more subtle.
To what do you refer?
Yeah Festus. Give us a clue.
A mystery, wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a mustache and a boiler suit.
I am finally in bed after getting all caught up on The Boys.
They manage to throw enough humor and actual plot to compensate for the brooding/self doubting/tantrum throwing that it seems each character gets to have on at least one episode.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=75mWmB5HDxE
??
https://www.wfmz.com/news/area/lehighvalley/woman-who-is-suing-disney-over-face-mask-incident-at-lehigh-valley-mall-speaks-out/article_03c4120a-ff94-11ea-a1c4-5385be840216.html
Fuck Disney. I hope she wins.
Fuck Disney is always the correct answer.
I am shocked the Disney rep said they will procede to court. I assumed it was an overzealous employee, and at the end of the article I would read a rep saying were investigating.
This does not seem like a winner for Disney even with their hordes of bullying lawyers
https://www.pennlive.com/news/2020/09/gov-tom-wolf-puts-president-trump-on-blast-for-saturdays-harrisburg-airport-rally.html
Fuck Wolf. I hope there’s a special place in Hell reserved for him.
The R calling Wolf out for marching in a BLM protest and having a 80k car show gets buried at the end of the article. SMH