Close Encounters with National Treasures in the North by Northwest Part IV

by | Oct 8, 2020 | Outdoors, Travel | 333 comments

A South Dakota/Wyoming Travelogue & Review

Air & Space, Wall, Badlands

Contrary to my normal inclinations, I headed away from the hills for my last two days.

I couldn’t call myself an AvGeek if I didn’t make a stop at the South Dakota Air & Space Museum, just outside Ellsworth Air Force Base. The base is home to a B1 bomber group, and a B1 greets visitors to the museum, in all her sleek, menacing glory. It looks like a miniature Imperial Cruiser. I did a Facebook livestream for Big Jet TV members while there, and got to walk around and under some impressive war machines. I even got to kick some landing gear and tickle the belly of a B52. The indoor displays were shut, but there was plenty to see outside.


Bombs away

Psycho killer, qu’est-ce que c’est

The few that can tolerate me long enough to really get to know me, know that I can’t resist all that is shiny and tacky. When you think shiny and tacky, Wall Drug has to be at the top of the list. However, I kind of hated this place. I did get some shot glasses and t-shirts to add to my collection. No masks here, which was nice.


Meh

Only reason I posted this is for the lady in the background

On my final day, I headed for the Badlands. Many people recommended I go here. But the park was essentially shut. The main visitors’ center was closed except for the shitters, where full bladders had to wait in line outside for a ranger to let them in, one by one. Can you imagine learning and studying the extensive natural beauty of the area, only to act as a doorman for tourists with fecal urgency?

Even the entry gate on SD route 44 was closed, though traffic was allowed to enter. That meant I got into and out of the park for free.

I enjoyed the vistas and the moonlike landscapes, but I would have gotten a lot more out of it if I could have had some sciency information about the rock formations and layers. I drove out of the park on the main drag to Wall, which was under extensive construction, with only one lane in a couple of spots. Overall, the Badlands were beautiful, but not really my bag. Give me high peaks, rivers, lakes, and trees.


Layers of rock

Rocks & prairie

The road to Wall

Your cruise director uses porta-potties so as not to wait in line for a flush

My journey ended with a 12-hour marathon of delayed flights and a missed connection. At least I got a cheese plate.

AvGeek note: American Airlines, RAP>DFW (CRJ9, N908FJ); DFW>DCA (B738, N937NN)

About The Author

KK, Plump & Unfiltered

KK, Plump & Unfiltered

In this house, we believe: Bigfoot is real; I am going to kiss him; He will be my lover; I will be the little spoon; Me and Bigfoot will fuck and you can't stop us

333 Comments

  1. westernsloper

    Tickling an airplane?

    • Ted S.

      No; tickling Kate Pierson.

      • Tundra

        I would tickle Kate.

      • Sir Digby Classic

        Is your name Monica? If so, you may be in luck.

  2. Aloysious

    Picture #3 looks like the ferocious jackalope.

    • Aloysious

      #4, durnit.

  3. Contrarian P

    It’s too bad you didn’t get more out of the Badlands. I really enjoyed my time there. Seeing Teddy Roosevelt’s cabin gave me a new respect for him as I realized what it must have taken to leave a life of comfort to come out to what is still one of the most desolate areas of the country.

    Second your opinion of Wall Drug. Been there twice. Both times I thought I might pick up a souvenir but left empty handed as I couldn’t bring myself to purchase that schlock.

    • Cancelled

      That is the other Badlands.

    • Contrarian P

      I should have been more clear. Did a long trek through Theodore Roosevelt, Badlands, the Black Hills, and several stops in between. The whole area kind of runs together in my mind so started thinking of TR’s cabin. Badlands park itself was pretty amazing on its own. Did a lot of hiking and managed to avoid sunburn which is a rarity for me.

  4. westernsloper

    How did the porta potty smell? Thanks to Covid I think the porta potty businesses have seen a 1000% increase in business.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Hey WS, what was the restaurant in OKC where you had good service? Not that I will probably get there anytime soon.

      • westernsloper

        Oh geeze, you are taking me back over 20 years. I am sure it is like any big city with a food scene. You ever seen Okies? They like to eat. I had numerous great dining experiences in OKC back then but they were all picked by whats her face number two. She was the foodie and worked in the industry in the past so knew all the best restaurant managers and most of the staff at the high end places. She was my in to that scene. I am just a bumfuck hillbilly, she led me to those experiences. I am sure all the restaurants I experienced then have changed hands or are out of business as the restaurant cycle goes. I am sure others have taken there place because that is the cycle of life.

        Are you an Okie?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I know a few people a bit but don’t know the local restos as much as I would like, besides Braum’s*. Was Cattlemen’s one of them?

        *for lurkers: regional burger/IC drive-thru chain, with attached small grocery stores!

  5. Sean

    ? The jackelope pic.

    • Sean

      Great scenery pics throughout the whole series.

      Thanks for sharing KK!

      • Frank Dux

        Yes, awesome pics

  6. Cancelled

    I find the Badlands interesting, and given my usual route out west they are usually the first real destination I hit, but they are not really my bag either. And Wall Drug really annoys me for some reason. I don’t know what it is about the place, maybe just my mood the one time I actually walked around the shops there was bad,.

  7. Ted S.

    AvGeek didn’t identify the aircraft in picture #6. :-p

    • KibbledKristen

      Nice catch, Ted!!

      I don’t no nuttin bout no rotorcraft

    • db

      Robinson R44?

  8. Count Potato

    “Layers of rock”

    You can even see where they spread the icing in between.

  9. Tundra

    Thank you Kristen!

    I’ve really enjoyed your series on you wonderful trip out west.

    I thought about you today as the 934th Airlift Wing, based at MSP, was out flying their C-130s today. I’m close enough to the airport that they aren’t too high to hear the cool noise!

    I hated Wall Drug, as well. Never need to go again.

    The Badlands, however are a different story. I really dug them. There was something about how harsh and crazy they are that really appealed to me (North Dakota also has them). I always think about the people making their way west. Through the prairies: “Flat, full of Indians, not terrible”. Getting to the Badlands: “WTF?” Heading into Yellowstone: “Oh, come on!” And finally the mountain ranges: “Fuck this, I should have stayed in Massachusetts!”

    Nice job!

    • But Enough About My Wild Culinary Fantasies

      You’d love the Drumheller area in southeastern Alberta, Tundra. Badlands galore, and if’n you want, you can join a dinosaur dig sponsored by the Royall Tyrell Museum.

      • Tundra

        Dude, you know I love Alberta.

        And I’ll be back if your fuckhead lets us back in the country!

    • KibbledKristen

      Thanks Tundra!

    • Lackadaisical

      Is there a place called devil’s hole or something similar nearby? I liked it more than the national park, though that was cool too.

  10. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I can never hear of B52’s without thinking about the immortal words of General Buck Turgidson…

    “ If the pilot’s good, I mean if he’s reeeally sharp, he can barrel that thing in so low, oh it’s a sight to see. You wouldn’t expect it with a big ol’ plane like a ’52, but varrrooom! The jet exhaust… frying chickens in the barnyard!”

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’m glad you got the cheese plate though. Must have made the entire trip worth it.

      • Sean

        Cheese plates fail if there is no meat on them.

        Charcuterie FTW.

      • dbleagle

        During the Cold War the B52’s would practice low level flight sections of the West including AZ. More than once we’d hear the roar of the engines and look up. Seeing nothing we would lower our gaze to watch them flying fast and low below us.

        I also can ID an A-10 at any distance, from any angle and in any light condition. Growing up near and in Tucson will do that. Between Tucson and the Gila Bend Gunnery Range is the Altar Valley which was a radar hole from both east and west. More than once we had A-10’s make mock gunnery passes as we drove along the road. One time in particular we saw brush and bramble being launched from the engine exhaust and instinctually duck as they passed over rocking the pick up. As we looked in the rearview mirror the pilot waggled his wings.

  11. DEG

    Can you imagine learning and studying the extensive natural beauty of the area, only to act as a doorman for tourists with fecal urgency?

    Doesn’t matter, got paid and can’t get fired.

    Great pictures!

    • commodious spittoon

      Is a cheese plate exactly what it sounds like?

      • Count Potato

        Yes, it’s like a hard boiled egg, the name is pretty much the recipe.

      • Sean

        Yes. Incomplete. Needs moar meat.

        Like Winston’s mom.

      • Bobarian LMD

        The need that can’t be filled?

  12. Sensei

    Thanks!

    I remember driving coast to coast between college and graduate school and going through the badlands.

    This was in the old days with no GPS and trying to figure out fuel stops was always fun. It’s the only time I can remember driving through tanks of gas with no stopping between fill ups.

    • Bobarian LMD

      Synchronizing your pee stops and your fill ups.

      I’ve made the drive from SW Minnesota to Los Angeles a number of times back in the day doing that trick.

      Utah had sections where if you missed the exit the sign said next stop 183 miles.

  13. Rhywun

    At least I got a cheese plate.

    ?

  14. UnCivilServant

    Mushroom Vinegar Soup can be better… some dumplings would serve it well.

    To elaborate – As I mentioned in a previous thread I decided to try refrigerator pickling. My test recpie was a pickled mushroom and onion. I had leftover vinegar brine, leftover mushrooms, and leftover onions after putting the test jar in the fridge. I decided to experiment, adding garlic, basil, parsley, and sage to the vinegar brine, dumping all the remaining veggie and fungi into the pot, and simmering, with a little thickening starch.

    I couldn’t find a suitable protein that wasn’t frozen. I think beefish meat would work.

    If you like vinegar the resultant soup is decent. If you dislike vinegar… well, the stock base is vinegar.

    • UnCivilServant

      Anyone know a good way to cut the bitterness of vinegar?

      • Count Potato

        You mean acidity? Vinegar is the least bitter thing that’s still food.

      • UnCivilServant

        I need to cut the vinegar to improve the recipe.

        I’m not thinking all that clearly because I think I burned by tongue. I should have let it rest longer.

      • Count Potato

        If it also needs salt, try a bit of baking soda.

        I doubt your typical “add bitter” things like herbs would work.

        Also, cooking reduces acid. You could strain, and put the liquid on a low boil.

      • UnCivilServant

        It was pickling brine, so salt was not in short supply.

        I could have left it on the stove longer. I was starting to worry that stuff was sticking to the pan. I should probably acquire a strainer.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        olive oil?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        (for soup, not pickles)

      • Cancelled

        Hops

      • UnCivilServant

        I’m not a fan of miso.

      • Sensei

        Not possible!

        (My wife is the same.)

      • juris imprudent

        Honey – but now you have the problem of sweetness where you probably don’t want it.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Ah, Miso Honey.

        I love that, long time

      • Sensei

        Boo!

      • pistoffnick

        THAT brings back memories!

      • Rhywun

        LOL #metoo

        Freshman year in college, some kid had that album and our growing clique would gather in that kid’s room and laugh our ass off to it

      • Sir Digby Classic

        Freshman year in college,

        \

        Well, story checks out.

        ? (crisp high five)

    • commodious spittoon

      I started cooking for myself after a breakup with an amateur chef and quickly realized I know nuffin bout nuffin. I thought you could substitute red wine vinegar for red wine. It turns out you can.

      • UnCivilServant

        This vinegar mix was 1/3 white distilled vinegar, 1/3 red wine winegar, and 1/3 apple cider vinegar. It was brined with a good deal of kosher salt for the pickling process.

  15. SP

    Thanks so much for sharing your vacation with us, Kristen. I really enjoyed it!

    Being the sort of person I am (cynical/easily annoyed by other humans especially tourists/a photographer), I have never subjected myself to Wall Drug. But I LOVE the Badlands.

    Last time through with OMWC and the Wonder Dog on our great roadtrip to visit Montana Glibs, we only had time to drive through, but it was still wonderful and I still took many images.

    Can’t wait for your next trip and report thereof!

    • UnCivilServant

      I’m glad she wasn’t eaten by that jackalope.

    • KibbledKristen

      Thanks! Montana is very high on my list…I never spent any time in the Mountain time zone until the last 8-10 years or so. Now I gotta catch up.

      • Old Man With Candy

        There’s at least one fren there who has flown B1s and B2s….

    • Lackadaisical

      Yes, but have you ever seen the majesty of the corn palace?

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        I have, and I have a refrigerator magnet from the gift shop to prove it.

        The South Dakota stretch of Interstate 90 has a marvelous variety of tacky roadside attractions. The same goes for I-80 in Nebraska (fewer than SD though).

  16. KibbledKristen

    BTW, N937NN was a nice aircraft with all the latest gewgaws and USBs and various ports. And cheese plates.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Hey jackass DA, when the people don’t believe they’re protected from the mob, guess what happens next?

      • juris imprudent

        Oh, THOSE people he’s interested in bringing to justice.

  17. Rhywun

    OT: Don’t think we don’t have our eye on you non-Jews, too.

    In which Mayor Bill and friends pull an assortment of numbers out of their ass and leap to a variety of unfounded conclusions in an attempt to increase the number of human faces their boots want to stamp on.

    Buried halfway down:

    De Blasio said the coronavirus case numbers have gone up in part due to more testing.

    You don’t say?

    • Sensei

      It’ll fun times after November one way or another and this monster bites them in the ass.

      And since I’m listening to YouTube while replying I’ll share what’s currently playing.

      https://youtu.be/CbI79e5iZKs

      Groups name translates as Human Chair. Interesting variety of metal with multiple styles and the rare three man band.

      But weird…

      • Rhywun

        The bald guy in the pancake makeup kind of scares me.

      • Sensei

        But he plays a mean bass!

      • UnCivilServant

        Animal Abuse! Think of the fishies!

      • Bobarian LMD

        I’m glad they translated
        “Shabadabadia
        Shabadabadia
        Babababa”

        Because I’d have been lost otherwise.

        They shred pretty good.

      • Sensei

        Yeah I just normally let YouTube throw shit at me. Sometimes you get some weird gems.

      • Animal

        Huh?

      • Gender Traitor

        ::whispers:: “Bass” joke.

      • Rhywun

        Agreed. Great find!

  18. Frank Dux

    Where is a good place to sell unwanted ammo? I have 200rds of .300 blackout I want to get rid of.

      • SP

        He *is* wearing a suit, after all. Who does that here at Glibs?

    • DEG

      Your local gun club or GunBroker.

      • Sean

        ?

      • Frank Dux

        Gun broker freaks me out for some reason. I’ll research it and maybe give it a try. Thanks for the reply.

      • Sir Digby Classic

        Well, the name doesn’t exactly imply quality…

  19. KibbledKristen

    I’d like to spend some nights in the Badlands looking at stars and satellites and space stations. Only time I’ve seen real sky was in Jackson Hole, in an off-grid cabin in the valley.

    That’s one reason I won’t be staying in Rapid City next time.

    • Cancelled

      Yellowstone is amazing for that

      • KibbledKristen

        Probably the VLA area in NM, too. Super dry up there. I was only there during daylight, though.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Kings Canyon would also be a good choice.

      • dbleagle

        The Colorado Plateau is good for that too. One moonless night we were tent free camping on the North Rim of the Grand Canyon. In the middle of the night my grade school daughter woke me up saying that “There were so many stars out that they looked in three-D.” It was starry enough it was hard to pick out the constellations. We spent some time watching the satellites pass over then went back to sleep. (We were hiking down and out into the middle of the Grand Canyon the next day along the Powell Plateau.)

        heavens-above.com has a new feature called “Live sky view” which shows every satellite visible from your location. You can watch them (named) pass over 24/7.

      • westernsloper

        In 1982 I took my first trip to the canyon lands with my high school mtn bike club which was funny because the only one with a mtn bike was the teacher/sponsor of said trip. The rest of us had single speed cruisers. I awoke to a similar experience with a sky full of stars so bright I wondered how I was able to sleep and as the sun rose a red mind blowing mess of weathered stone and shadows. We had parked in the dark in the lot below and grabbed sleeping bags and flashlights and slept on the stone above the area. None of us had any idea what we would wake up to. One of my favorite memories.

      • Bobarian LMD

        Ft Irwin in the Mojave Desert. When conditions are right, the Milkyway looks like a cloud.

        Right after sunset on a moonless night you can see satellites zipping through the sky.

        I was stationed there in the ’90s when the Hale-Bopp was at it’s brightest.

      • dbleagle

        You can tell when you have true darkness because there are some deep sky features that become faintly visible to the naked eye. Spotting the Andromeda Galaxy or Omega Centauri globular cluster is always a treat. The only places I have pulled off that trick is the open sea, Ft Irwin, Ft Hunter Liggett, and Canyonlands NP.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Open ocean, there’s nothing like it.

      I got to see the Milky Way from horizon to horizon.

      • KibbledKristen

        If you look up landlubber in the Dictionary, it’s my picture (I had maritime traumas in my yoot involving Simon Le Bon, a nor’easter, and a smashed finger)

      • Cancelled

        You should #metoo him!

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’m trying to imagine the scenario that involves all those variables.

    • Tundra

      BWCA.

      • Sir Digby Classic

        Utterly fantastic scene, especially when your watching Big Adventure in Texas.

    • westernsloper

      The only time I have seen real sky was at sea and above timberline.

      Thanks for the write ups KK. Always enjoy seeing others experiences.

    • juris imprudent

      Cross-country move (solo) and I slept out somewhere in Wyoming very near the continental divide. It was early September and the sky was so clear and stars so bright that it was nearly surreal. Woke up in the early morning to some noise not too far from my head and slowly turned to see a doe and fawn less than 20 feet from me.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      Mesa Verde is a good place for it too. Little ambient light, high elevation, dry air.

    • Not an Economist

      Go to a higher altitude. Less atmosphere. Best sky I’ve seen was in north eastern New Mexico, near Las Vegas. Experienced amateur astronomers couldn’t find the constellations because there were too many skies. Colorado in the mountains was amazing from what I’ve heard. In the right spot, the Milky Way can cast shadows.

  20. Count Potato

    “Cops release photos that were tagged ‘partners in crime’ from Breonna Taylor’s boyfriend’s phone that show them both holding gun believed to be the one he used to fire at police as messages also suggest he was selling drugs”

    https://twitter.com/MrAndyNgo/status/1314318685901737985

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8816249/Louisville-police-release-details-Taylor-investigation.html

    I think activists pick messy cases on purpose. They deliberately want controversy.

    • juris imprudent

      So again, let’s remind ourselves – no drugs, paraphernalia or cash found – as the affidavits swore would be found there. Let’s also remind ourselves, these cops were somehow exempt from wearing bodycams. Do we even have to stretch to consider that Louisville narcotics are as corrupt as Houston?

    • juris imprudent

      JFC– “as well as text messages that strongly suggest that Walker was involved in the sale of illegal drugs.

      Walker was a licensed gun owner able to legally carry in Kentucky. He was not named in the search warrant used to enter Taylor’s home, and he was not a target in the drug investigation of Taylor’s ex-boyfriend, Jamarcus Glover, that led to the raid on her apartment.”

      Talk about contradicting yourself without even a decent interval.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Yes, because partners in crime is a term only used by criminals. Arrest Tommy and Tuppence!

      Reminds me of one annual training at some shitty range, a bored group of fuckoffs decided to do re-enactments of the famous Vietnam street execution. I guess all of us should be prosecuted for war crimes.

      • Count Potato

        Yet none of those fuckoffs had a history of working with the Viet Cong.

        I’m not saying that the cops weren’t wrong, but the narrative that she was some angelic first responder isn’t right either.

      • juris imprudent

        The fucking cops and DA tried to get the ex-boyfriend to implicate her and he didn’t, even though he was going to get a better deal. And you’re buying the shit they are selling.

      • Count Potato

        “you’re buying the shit they are selling”

        No, I am not.

  21. Count Potato

    “Deadline Note To Readers: A Mistake Made On The Vice President And Coronavirus

    A draft post of a story about Vice President Mike Pence testing positive for coronavirus that was never meant to publish was accidently posted on Deadline. It was pulled down immediately. It never should have been posted and Deadline will take steps to see this kind of thing never happens again. Apologies to the Vice President and our readers. We regret the error.”

    https://deadline.com/2020/10/deadline-correction-1234594192/

    https://twitter.com/DEADLINE/status/1314339830151540736

    WTF?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      They’re just giving their readers what they want. Fantasies.

    • Sensei

      Years ago there was as SNL skit with I think Jane Curtin doing canned obituaries for politicians of the day.

      Back when SNL didn’t pull its punches.

      • Count Potato

        Canned obituaries for old very famous people are standard practice because everyone dies.

      • Sensei

        Yes, the punchline was how they died.

      • Gender Traitor

        And then there was this episode of The Mary Tyler Moore Show.

      • Sensei

        My wife and I started watching that again!

      • Gdragon

        Yep, an obituary will presumably eventually be needed/published. This story may not be.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        See nonfiction book The Dead Beat by Marilyn Johnson.

      • LCDR_Fish

        Wasn’t it Chevy Chase reading obits for Gerald Ford?

  22. Count Potato

    “You can now be sexy hand sanitizer for Halloween

    Internet-favorite costume retailer Yandy has debuted their latest sexy spin for Halloween 2020: a hot hand sanitizer look.

    The revealing outfit costs $69.95, and comes with a high-hip leotard printed with a fake hand sanitizer logo and a clear apron-style tutu.

    “Did you disinfect from head to toe cause you’re glowing with that germ-free vibe! Just a pump is all it takes to put bacteria at bay,” reads the costume’s description on the Yandy website. “Wash away the dirt of the day, and soak in that squeaky clean feeling in this exclusive Hand Sanitizer costume featuring a mint green bodysuit with a scoop neckline, a Yandy Hand Sanitizer print with ‘Kills 99.99% of germs,’ a pink Yandy logo, and a matching clear vinyl flared dress with velcro straps attached to the skirt.””

    https://twitter.com/nypost/status/1314207276866007043

    https://nypost.com/2020/10/08/you-can-now-be-sexy-hand-sanitizer-for-halloween/

    https://twitter.com/nypost/status/1314207276866007043

    • Count Potato

      Woops! Sorry, double posted link.

    • Gadfly

      They literally just printed “hand sanitizer” on a swimsuit. I’d expect more craftsmanship if I’m going to pay $69 (giggity) for something.

    • blackjack

      I thought they outlawed conversion therapy?

    • commodious spittoon

      “Now, if I give him something, he will pop it straight into his mouth,” Hughes claimed.

      Nothing about this story scans.

  23. grrizzly

    Today’s Nobel Prize was given to an America-hating white-hating piece of shit.
    https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/08/books/louise-gluck-nobel-prize-literature.html?action=click&module=Editors%20Picks&pgtype=Homepage

    How did you feel once you absorbed that it was real?

    Completely flabbergasted that they would choose a white American lyric poet. It doesn’t make sense. Now my street is covered with journalists. People keep telling me how humble I am. I’m not humble. But I thought, I come from a country that is not thought fondly of now, and I’m white, and we’ve had all the prizes. So it seemed to be extremely unlikely that I would ever have this particular event to deal with in my life.

    • Sensei

      How did you make it that far into the article?

      • grrizzly

        She’s practically my neighbor.

      • Sensei

        Lucky you….

    • Rhywun

      She could always give it someone more deserving.

      • commodious spittoon

        Like Dylan, except Dylan eventually capitulated.

        Fucking sellouts. I didn’t like them long before I knew who they were.

    • Contrarian P

      Don’t really understand these people who think nobody likes America. It’s a big world and we’ve got an outsized presence in it, probably. Almost all of the people I’ve ever met internationally had a positive perception of Americans, if not always our government. I’m sure there are plenty of people who don’t like us, but then again I’ll bet that’s true of damn near anything that’s got a high profile. Tom Hanks has lots of fans, but plenty of people who don’t like him. Same thing with Justin Beiber. When you’re famous, some people like you, some don’t. What I don’t get is how these Americans think everybody doesn’t like us. I’m thinking it’s some form of projection.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Don’t really understand these people who think nobody likes America.

        I don’t understand why anybody cares. This isn’t student council elections. My country being disliked by some schmucks in Lithuania means absolutely nothing to me.

      • grrizzly

        Nobody cares about Lithuania. Nonetheless, people in important countries get the same news and opinions about America and Trump as the MSM consumers in the US. Perhaps a day later and translated. It’s not surprising that some of them don’t like America. Who wouldn’t, if the MSM was the only (or at least the primary) source of information about America?

      • J. Frank Parnell

        I had a hot redheaded neighbor once who was from Lithuania. Or maybe it was Latvia, whatever.

      • Tejicano

        A buddy of mine was working in Europe and one of his European co-workers who always complained about how terrible America and Americans were ended up having to go to America for her sister’s wedding. She was practically kicking and screaming about having to go there.

        He told me that after she got back you couldn’t shut her up about how great America is and how wonderful Americans are.

    • Sir Digby Classic

      The past few months have been trying for Glück, who is divorced and lives alone,

      You don’t say.
      Also, who is it that doesn’t like the US, and, who gives a fuck what they think?

      /I know–with this attitude I’ll never get that Nobel in Literature….FUCK!

  24. grrizzly

    Why was a museum closed indoors in South Dakota? Indoors museum are open in Boston. What’s wrong with S. Dakota?

    • UnCivilServant

      Mueseums tend to keep odd hours, and are often closed even in absense of panicpropaganda.

      • KibbledKristen

        They were closed for the ‘Vid (and remain closed). I believe it’s the Feds’ property, so that may be why.

      • commodious spittoon

        Thanks, Trump.

    • Rhywun

      Same in NYC but the theater you have to go through in order to visit one is a tad off-putting.

      • grrizzly

        I don’t mind boycotting all museums in the world for a decade or two.

  25. Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

    I remember camping in the Badlands in the early summer of 1993 (I think). It was the start of heavy rainstorms that caused massive flooding in the midwest. The lightning show across the prairie at night was amazing. One of those things that makes you feel small.

  26. Gustave Lytton

    Don’t leave me hanging! What model B52 was it? Did it still have J57 engines and the tail gunner position?

  27. Yusef drives a Kia

    I was looking at a house to buy, since I got a decent job and ound a nice mobile home closer to work, the park owners are really looking to pt me in this place, and it’s perfect. 2 beds, 1 bath, new furnace, ne appliances, snow removal, the whole nine yards. I need 1000 down, really thats it, and can get the keys next Friday,and move in.
    I’m real close on the money, but once I’m in my job is more than enough for me to cover the mortgage and bills, so close……
    /never bought a house until now

    • The Gunslinger

      You haven’t even driven in the snow yet and you’re almost a homeowner. Glad to hear that the job is going well.

      • Rhywun

        Dittoes.

        My new job is already kicking me in the ass. It’s great to be back in the grind ??

    • Tundra

      Happy for you, dude.

      • Sensei

        +1

    • blackjack

      Right on!

    • Count Potato

      Go you!

  28. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

    I’m out on the back patio waiting for my telescope to acclimate and I saw some motion in the yard. I saw that it was a feline shape, so I gave a few snaps of the fingers. All of a sudden some tortoiseshell cat is doing rolls right next to me, begging for attention. I’ve seen the cat once or twice before, but usually from afar as I’m driving in the neighborhood.

    Anyway, this is the most forward cat I’ve ever met. Within 5 minutes, she was giving me love nips when I stopped petting her.

    • westernsloper

      It’s the neighbors. Tell the assholes to take care of their cat. I just went through this.

      • commodious spittoon

        Wow. I don’t think I’ve heard this since 1998.

      • Sensei

        Glad to be of service!

    • Rhywun

      IT’S A TRAP!

    • Not an Economist

      Had a friend who was at the eyepiece of his telescope and felt something rub up against his leg. It was black with a white strip in the middle.

      He didn’t move.

  29. Gustave Lytton

    Congratulations Chik Fil A. You’ve succeeded in making the drive thru experience even worse than it was before. And topped it off with a paper straw. I think I’m done with them for a long while. The food quality is declining also.

    • LJW

      We’ve started using the app to order curbside. It’s great you pull up and they have it out in a few minutes. Skip the drive thru line wrapped around the block.

      • Gustave Lytton

        That does sound much better.

    • Bobarian LMD

      There are no paper straws at my CFA. That’s what I had this evening.

      They’ve also got a 3 lane drive thru. For having 30 cars waiting, they get it done fast.

    • Sir Digby Classic

      The food quality is declining also

      That’s been going on since right after the protest/counter-protest shit back in….what, ’12? They changed the menu up a whole helluva lot right after that. Changed the grilling marinade, got rid of the brownies, took the biscuits and chicken gravy off the menu.–just a whole load of bad decisions, from a taste and preference standpoint.

  30. dbleagle

    If you like roadside schlock you must have visited “South of the Border” at the NC/SC state line on I-95. Arizona has “The Thing” along I-10. Plus near I-40 is “The Meteor Crater”. For a geologist the MC is very cool with interesting geology and some good trails. To quote my mother from her one visit, “This nothing but a big hole in the ground. How much do they want for tickets?”

    • KibbledKristen

      I’ve only ever been to South of the Border in the dead of night. Like 2am dead of night. It’s creepy AF.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Where astronomy and geology collide! Loved MC. Privately owned. Overheard two guides between tours boasting about the guns they’d bought with their tips. (“I was supposed to tip you?”)

  31. grrizzly

    Wow! I can watch Brady and Gronk playing live in 4k.

    • The Gunslinger

      How does Foles look in 4k?

      • grrizzly

        Both his moustache and his TD pass look better in 4k.

    • commodious spittoon

      Those 3080 cards sound amazing.

      • grrizzly

        Eh, that’s just a 4k TV with Fubotv.

      • Rhywun

        Still waiting for a viable alternative to Spectrum around here so I can drop that and get something like Fubo. ?

      • grrizzly

        Live 4k broadcasts are still a work in progress: first the sound disappeared, then the screen turned black.

      • Rhywun

        I don’t really need the 4K – although a new TV is probably needed soon since mine is starting to give up the ghost – I just want more bang for my buck and Spectrum keeps fucking me up the ass with their removing channels I used to get to more “premium” packages.

      • Count Potato

        Well, you might as well buy a 4K TV, even though there are few 4K sources.

    • commodious spittoon

      Whitmer’s a dentist??

      • LJW

        Dentist, Tyrant… They both enjoy pulling teeth.

      • Sensei

        Ok, I laughed.

      • blackjack

        More my style of dentist

      • Tundra

        Knew it.

        And I thank you profoundly.

    • J. Frank Parnell

      It’s a man’s life in the British Dental Association.

    • Gadfly

      Does she win the record for longest arms as well? Those are some freakishly long limbs.

      • commodious spittoon

        The whole freak show is offputting, tbh.

    • juris imprudent

      Not sure which of those two is going to win – but I know for sure who loses.

    • Rhywun

      I heard the Che chick is in the lead? Because of course she is.

    • Gadfly

      Forget it Jake, it’s Portland-town.

  32. Gadfly

    When you think shiny and tacky, Wall Drug has to be at the top of the list.

    I got deja vu seeing that picture, and then realized it’s because I had just seen that same place in a picture my parents showed me on Tuesday of their recent vacation through the great plains states. Small world, I guess.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      Well, following that link led me down a rabbit hole of crazy.

      • Sir Digby Classic

        That’s not a complaint, is it? “Hole”…”crazy”…”down”. C’mon–you’re HM!

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Fair.

      • Sir Digby Classic

        I do my best, so you can do HER best.

  33. Gustave Lytton

    Was out of the office most of the day so missed the big Whitmer plot reveal.

    Kind of surprised this was the only one so far. Not surprising was the FBI informant. It’s almost required for one of these types of things. I fear that the tyrants, er politicians will take the wrong message that they can continue on because the FBI will have their back every time. One of these times, people, either right or left, aren’t going to have an FBI informant in the group to spill the beans.

    • straffinrun

      Not saying I wish they had pulled it off. But I’m not saying the opposite, either.

    • Lady Z

      Speaking of taking the wrong message, this just got her a ton of media attention. She’ll be further emboldened.

      • Gustave Lytton

        As long as she isn’t embiggened.

    • straffinrun

      Hips so narrow her pants almost fell down.

      • Lackadaisical

        You’re not wrong, but still more junk in the trunk than some Asians.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Asian girl takes two massive woods at once.

      Uhhh….

    • Gustave Lytton

      Ive got a bunch of logs in the back forty that need to be hauled. I wonder if she’s available for house visits.

  34. commodious spittoon

    I’m 34 today. I heard well wishes from a number of people whose birthdays I forgot. They’re better people than I, they bothered to remember mine.

    • straffinrun

      Happy Birthday, Overflowing Spit Bucket.

    • commodious spittoon

      I’m drunk and trying to be poetical.

      Work is gonna be a pita

      My ex wants to give me a gift tomorrow

      it’s the closest I’ve come to sex in a couple years

      Man, it’s great to be me. Awful, awful, awfully great

      • Chafed

        As your lawyer I’m advising you to avoid sex with the ex.

    • blackjack

      Happy birthday!

    • Gustave Lytton

      Congratulations, you magnificent bastard!

      Predominant Glib _ :

      Handgun: Beretta 92 series and variants
      Sign: Libra

    • Tejicano

      Allow me to be the second person in Japan to wish you a happy birthday!

    • grrizzly

      Happy birthday! Apparently, not everybody here is old.

    • Sir Digby Classic

      Birthday, man. Birthday.

      /I avoided the ‘happy’, for sentimental reasons

      • commodious spittoon

        As long as the BMX bandit and the angel summoner are at it…

    • Count Potato

      Happy Birthday!

    • Sean

      Happy birthday ??

  35. Sir Digby Classic

    Can someone explain to me what it is about this Wall Drug place that makes it so hated? It sounds awesome–almost like a Stuckey’s.

    • creech

      Free ice water!

      • Sir Digby Classic

        So….people think they should be charged for the ice water? Seems an odd thing to hate a store for, other than in Portland.

        They can just “donate” to the store what they’re willing to pay.

      • Cancelled

        Wall Drug is the ultimate tourist attraction. It is a town sized gift shop. Multiple buildings covering more ground than a Walmart Superstore all filled with t-shirts, stuffed jackalopes, shot glasses and other kitschy gift shop/souvenir store bricabrac. The Free ice water comment is because there are signs every couple of miles along every highway within 400 miles of Wall Drug in any direction advertising “Free Ice Water”.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      It’s so bad it’s good.

    • Lackadaisical

      There are more dems than repubs, so that seems likely.

      If the distribution is 40-30-30 (dem-rep-Ind), it works out quite easily, assuming only 10% of repubs thought Harris did better.

    • Chafed

      Mr. Hooper is rolling over in his grave.

      • Sir Digby Classic

        I’m wondering what Jim would think about this. It seems to me that SS was one of the few products people who support PBS being tax-funded could point to and say, “See?? You grew up on this, your kids–it’s good stuff. They produce quality stuff!”

        Yeah, not so much. Besides, nostalgia doesn’t call for theft, assholes.

    • Lackadaisical

      In one animated skit, a Black Muppet is told by a white Muppet that he can’t dress up like a superhero because they’re only white. Though hurt, the Black Muppet nevertheless refuses to stop playing superheroes, saying they can come in all colors. The white Muppet soon apologizes. “Racism hurts and it’s wrong,” is the message.

      Isn’t this exactly what the SJW’s do all the time, just with the races reserved? Sesame Street is secretly redpilling them.

    • Sir Digby Classic

      “We’ll only push your face partially in, from now on.”

      I would love to see players quit over this, and try to form their own league, so that they can do all the posturing and virtue signaling they want. Of course, I’m not sure what they would call this league….?

      • Gustave Lytton

        Just one social justice message next year and every player will wear it:

        我是你的娼妇

      • Gustave Lytton

        Aiming for “I’m your whore/bitch”

      • Tejicano

        我們是中國的娼妇

        Better still – “We are China’s bitch/whore”

      • Ted S.

        Only one of the two Chinas, of course.

    • straffinrun

      Too late. Perhaps you should’ve thought about next year this year.

    • Lackadaisical

      Freiburg police said Thursday that they received a call reporting the unwanted home invader in the nearby town of Unterlauchringen, near the Swiss border, the previous morning.

      Seriously? She called the cops on a crab?

      • limey

        The officers were able to apprehend the horizontally-hobbling home invader by catching him in a pincer maneuvre.

    • Lackadaisical

      A citizen told San Bernardino County sheriff’s deputies with the Morongo Basin Station that they had found the discarded incoming mail, including voter ballots, in the 6500 block of Winters Road in Joshua Tree. More discarded mail was found in the 6500 block of Encelia Avenue in neighboring Twentynine Palms.

      ‘A citizen’? While I’m glad he wasn’t an illegal alien, not sure why his citizenship status matters for the purposes of the story.

      +1 no evidence that mail-in elections are insecure /MSM

    • limey

      But but but wikipedia says gateway pundit is far right and publishes known falsehoods.

    • Lackadaisical

      Morning.

      • limey

        Morning.

      • UnCivilServant

        They appear to be futzing with the VPN again this morning. My shift hasn’t started, but it’s frustrating to keep disconnecting while getting a bead on how busy the day’s going to be.

    • Gender Traitor

      Morning, all. It’s a good thing I allow plenty of extra time in the morning – I almost overslept. Hit the snooze once, turned the alarm off the second time, then dozed off for another twenty minutes or so. I blame the cat, who was blocking my exit from the bed.

      • UnCivilServant

        I hate mornings like that.

        Though I don’t have a cat, so I don’t have mornings exactly like that.

      • Gender Traitor

        Pets – as long as they’re of the uncaged variety – can be useful for deflecting blame. Hard to blame your tardiness on the hamster, unless that damn wheel kept you awake all night.

      • UnCivilServant

        “The guinea pig kept lecturing me on the vils of cui all night. I didn’t even plan to cook it.”

      • Festus' Mustache

        Whenever we do the “Morning!” thing I’m reminded of The Meaning of Life.

      • Gender Traitor

        I’d forgotten that bit. Rather overshadowed by Mr. Creosote. ::shudders::

        Morning, Fes.

      • Festus' Mustache

        Morning!

      • Festus' Mustache

        We don’t let the pets sleep on our bed anymore but Festus bends the rules a little when Wifey is away. Minds out of the gutter, People!

  36. Yusef drives a Kia

    Happy Friday Everybody, a nice half day of work ahead, then spend a sunny, warm afternoon playing golf,
    And I’m buying a house! well a mobile home, good enough for me,

    • limey

      Morning, Yufus. Double wide? With the polyester curtains, and the redwood deck?

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        1988 single wide, no deck, new furnace, hardwood floors, it’s all I need for space, and it’s in a quiet Senior park,
        and I can afford it. do you own a house? are you even allowed to buy one? or did the Mooslims take them all?

      • limey

        I believe that it is common practice for people of all faiths to live in houses these days. I myself not being particularly religious, also live in a house. There’s always talk in the news about a “housing shortage”, and a “housing crisis”, which is generally accompanied by a militantly-defended assumption that only the government can provide affordable housing, all developers and landlords are evil, and a pathological denial of any and all other factors.

    • Gender Traitor

      Congrats on the new digs! Hope you & Bella (& Kitty?) are comfy there.

    • Festus' Mustache

      Happy for your new-found good fortune, Friend. You’ve been on a ride for the last couple of years.

  37. limey

    Americans be all about that kosher salt. Is it more less saltier than salt salt?

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      Kosher salt is just salt without additives, great for Sissy Americans and anti Chemical freaks, whatever……..

      • limey

        My guess was that it was non-sea-derived salt what for avoiding the possibility of non-kosher sea critters potentially contaminating it, but apparently I was mistaken, and it’s named for it’s role in curing meats. TMYK.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I thought the same thing ,same reason, turns out it’s not about (((Them))) for once,

      • limey

        Alternatively “kosher salt” is what you might call OMWC’s wry, ascerbic, and betimes scathing analysis of the moronia found in The Links.

    • Caput Lupinum

      Kosher salt has large crystals than normal table salt that make it useful in the kashering process, and typically doesn’t contain iodine but normally includes anti-caking agents. It’s called duodenal things outside of the states, such as flake salt, rock salt, cooking salt, among others. As for its popularity, cooking shows and idiots that don’t know what the word chemical actually means and think that removing the iodine from their sodium chloride is a good thing.

      • Caput Lupinum

        Duodenal? That’s supposed to be “different”. Autocorrect never ceases to amaze.

      • UnCivilServant

        Why do you let it dictate your verbiage then?

      • Caput Lupinum

        Because I haven’t slept yet due to an upgrade of my production instance going wrong in almost every way possible, and the last thing my rapidly grading nerves need is to have an angry girlfriend because I woke her up so I could post from my desktop, limiting me to using my phone.

        All in all, odd mishaps from my phone not understanding my inputs and me being to tired to catch them at the best part of my day so far.

      • UnCivilServant

        I meant, why not turn off autocorrect?

      • Caput Lupinum

        Because I’m too lazy. The mishaps are usually funny and always innocuous. When I actually care about making sure my verbiage is precise and correct, I make sure to use a keyboard. I only pointed out the one example above, and not the numerous other examples in the same post, because it was both surprisingly outlandish and so far off of the mark that it could be hard to guess what word I actually intended.

      • Festus' Mustache

        Heh. The only time that I posted here on a phone was when I was in the hospital and I used one of the pens with the soft, squishy ends. Turns out you run out of Glibs in real time pretty quickly if that’s all you have to do for the day.

      • limey

        Thanks. I believe it’s what I’d find in the supermarket labeled ‘rock salt’.

      • UnCivilServant

        By ‘large’ kosher salt is still under 1/16th of an inch. Rock salt would be 1/8th-1/4 of an inch, is a lot less expensive (and often dirty) and is used for de-icing sidewalks. At least around here.

        Or is this another case of ‘separated by a common language’?

      • Festus' Mustache

        Also used in water softeners. My Dad had a business and we used to lug those 50 pound bags up and down stairs for the food on our plates.

      • Tulip

        If you are pickling, then iodine in salt can negatively affect your results. Also can have a negative impact on canning.

      • UnCivilServant

        I did make one mistake in my pickling experiment so far.

        I forgot fresh mushrooms float, and didn’t pack the jar as tightly as I should have.

      • Caput Lupinum

        True, but if you’re pickling you’re better off using canning/pickling salt over kosher. It also lacks iodine, and it is also free of anti-caking agents being (mostly, some impurities will exist) pure salt. It is also much finer grained, making it easier and faster to completely dissolve.

      • UnCivilServant

        I’ve already got five different types of salt lying around. (four if you restrict it to cooking salt, three if you restrict it to cooking salt that’s primarily sodium chloride).

      • Festus' Mustache

        I want the enriched cyanide salt.

      • UnCivilServant

        Sorry, that’s not one in my collection.

      • Festus' Mustache

        Sorry, UCS. I’m in a dark mood and went to a dark place. I’ve got stuff going on and the news is getting at me.

      • Sean

        I’ve already got five different types of salt lying around.

        Hmm…

        I’ve got Himalyan pink, coarse Kosher, table salt, habanero salt, this stuff, and hickory smoked salt.

        I almost never use the table salt.

      • Tejicano

        Well, duh? – how often do you eat a table?

      • UnCivilServant

        I have Himalayan pink, Iodized, Kosher, and MSG. (plus rock salt bags for the sidewalk.)

        I don’t see the point in flavored salts, because it seems to me that you can develop the same flavor and balance it to the saltiness on your own without using up extra cabinet space with more little shakers.

  38. Gender Traitor

    It’s the little things – just checked the tracking for a clothing order that was supposedly coming via FedEx Smartpost, found the notation “Delivery scheduled via FedEx Ground, not US Postal Service.” Our mail route is officially an afterthought, only delivered by whatever carrier finishes their “real” route first. I may actually get my merchandise today!

    • UnCivilServant

      Congratulations.

      In my case, the USPS guy is reliable. And for some reason the FedEx people are prone to putting the box against the storm door in a spot where I can’t open the door without knocking it down the steps. I hate having to go out the side door to get the box out of the path of the storm door and into the house.

  39. Gender Traitor

    We had a regular mail carrier when we first bought the house. Sam was great. He’d even stop and sit for a few minutes with the old guys a couple of houses down who sat out on the driveway in lawn chairs solving all the world’s problems.

    • Gender Traitor

      (Meant as a reply to you, UCS, of course.)

      • Festus' Mustache

        I’m old enough to remember the regular postman, milkman and beat cop. Hiya Joe!

    • Tres Cool

      “…with the old guys a couple of houses down who sat out on the driveway in lawn chairs solving all the world’s problems.”

      So you did a drive-by and saw me on my neighbors porch, with a 6-pack of TallCans.

  40. Tres Cool

    mornin’ ya’all

    • Gender Traitor

      Mornin’, homey.

  41. Festus' Mustache

    Here are the Dems about every three days https://youtu.be/ab4tpWk2VvM like clockwork. Can they really win this thing?