Das Schweitzer Oktoberfest

by | Oct 3, 2020 | Beer, Food & Drink | 261 comments

My phone buzzed and rattled on to the floor.

“What?  Why?”  I asked.  “Hello?”

“This Prathiba from Swiss Corps International Industries.  I surprised you figure out how to stay out of jail, given all the rioting.”

“I’m not a rioter.”  I checked the clock across the room.  “If I was, there would be an awful lot more bodies.  Why are you calling me at 0200?”

“Mr. Swiss have business with client in Abu Dhabi via Zoom.  It scheduled an hour or so after high noon there or perhaps sometime later in the afternoon, Inshallah.   Clients there not bound by your Western standard of timeliness.”

“Yes, but I’m bound by Western standards of timeliness.”

“Mr. Swiss say leave you on hold until he finish meeting with Sheik.”

“That can take hours.  Assuming the Sheik knows how, he will log on whenever he damn well pleases.”

“Shut up and wait, you stupid bastard.”

Three hours, forty-seven minutes after high noon in Abu Dhabi or perhaps sometimes later in the afternoon, Inshallah later

“Mex! Gruß Gott. Ich hatte gerade einen Dandy Zeit mit dem Scheich. Wahabbisten bekommen einen schlechten Ruf, aber ihre Forderungen sind normalerweise einfach und zumindest konsequent. Außerdem machen sie es gut, wenn sie herausfinden, wie sie das Königreich verlassen können, damit das Geld gut ist.“

“What?  Why are you speaking German?”

“Weißt du was ich an dieser Jahreszeit mag? Äpfel. Knackiges Herbstwetter. Fußball und Hockey. Damen beginnen, eng anliegende Jeans zu tragen, die ordentlich in hüfthohen Stiefeln verstaut sind und ihre großen Popo optisch betonen.“

“I cannot understand you.”

“Am meisten liebe ich das Oktoberfest. Die Lederhosen, die Bratwurst, das Keg-Bowling, Fingerhakeln, Hammerschlagen, Maßkrugstemmen. Weißt du, ich bin seit drei Jahren der Maßkrugstemmen-Champion meiner Stadt? Ich trainiere, indem ich einen 8-Pfund-Vorschlaghammer wie Thor in meinem Büro mit Blick auf den Chicago River halte. Diese Stadt mag mich nicht lieben, aber sie werden meinen mächtigen Hammer fürchten.

Am allermeisten liebe ich die offene Einladung zur öffentlichen Betrunkenheit. Es löst die Hemmungen der Menschen, sie handeln rücksichtslos und reichen dann Versicherungsansprüche ein. Nie bewusst, dass das Kleingedruckte besagt, dass wir ihren Ansprüchen nicht nachkommen werden, weil sie betrunken waren. Ich erzähle gerne den Leuten, dass alles in dem Vertrag steht, den Sie unterschrieben haben. Prost.“  Swiss was on a roll.

“Okay I got Oktoberfest, finger, hammer, and Thor.”

“Dann haben die Arschlöcher in meiner Stadt das Oktoberfest abgesagt! Sie glauben, dass sich diese Pest wie Chlamydien mit dem molligen Gangbang-Mädchen ausbreiten wird, dem Obama auf Twitter gefolgt ist. Bei einem Outdoor Festival!? Ich freute mich schon seit Monaten darauf. Ich werde diesen Bayern zeigen, wie ein Schweizer das macht! Zwischen deinem blöden Arsch, der STEVE SMITH zu Kundgebungen Antifa bringt, kryptischen Revolten, Sloopy und Banjos, die uns zeigen, wir im falschen Geschäft sind, und Geld horten, um irgendwo in Texas eine Festung zu kaufen.“

“Hey now, Antifa came to STEVE SMITH.”

“Dann macht Brett jede verdammte Woche ein Abenteuer mit dem Kokain-Hintern-Tuckern mit der Tochter eines zentralamerikanischen Diktators. Es ist anstrengend, nur Links zu planen. Ich wollte nur ein Wochenende mit Maßkrugstemmen und leckerem Märzen.”

“I don’t hablo el deutch-o”

“Verdammt. Du wirst es mir geben. Du ziehst Lederhosen und eine blonde Perücke an. Wir werden übermäßig viel Märzen trinken.

Wenn wir zu Maßkrugstemmen kommt … ich zu Kick. Ihre. Arsch.”

“I speak no German, but that last one sounded like a threat…”  I said.

“Was I speaking German?” Swiss asked.

“Yes”

“Sorry, I was in Sheik mode.  He went to school in Switzerland so we do business in German.  Lets do an Oktoberfest special, what do you say?”

“….For your sake…I think this needs to happen.”

______

This year’s haul includes:

Honorable mention:  Huss Brewery:  A small local producer that specializes in German styles.  This one didn’t get a feature because its not available out of state, but one that was done as well as they did it last year.

Spaten:  I can’t remember if I bought this one or Paulaner last year for review but I cannot understand why anybody uses green bottles anymore.  It was ever so slightly skunky by the time it got to me.  In spite of that it gets a 3.75/5

Bells:  This brand is turning into the Breaking Bad of the beer world. They’re good, so good in fact you can make fun of them like Family Guy.  You will drink Bells…you will tell all your friends the best beer today is Bells...  Its all in good fun as this one hits the mark at 3.9/5.

Ayinger:  I like this one.  I like they sell it in 500mL bottles year round instead of those weak-ass 330ml bottles the Germans sell.  People that don’t like it are simply Untermenschen.  3.8/5

I was challenged to find the supposed winner this year, which was Great Lakes, but unfortunately I could not locate it in my area.  Which means this is the only other one on Swiss’ list I could find.  Sierra Nevada did it right, going in heavy in the malts.  4.0/5

About The Author

mexican sharpshooter

mexican sharpshooter

WARNING: Glibertarians.com contains chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or other reproductive harm. https://youtu.be/qiAyX9q4GIQ?t=2m22s

261 Comments

  1. TARDis

    Holy crap am I sad about how little German I remember.

    • Rhywun

      I got most of it once I got past the glaring spelling and grammatical errors in the title.

      • Rhywun

        Well, fuck me. My dictionary is claiming otherwise. Stupid Swiss breaking the rules.

      • Ted S.

        Now do the verb senden. 😉

      • Ted S.

        Me too, with the exception of it not being Swiss.

    • Ted S.

      Nitpick: Swiss doesn’t speak German with the ß. Schwyzerdutsch isn’t real German at all, and if Swiss tried to pronounce the ß, it would contort his tongue into something resembling a Möbius strip.

      • Swiss Servator

        I speak perfectly fine High German. Living in Rhineland-Pfalz, I had started to sound a bit local, but moved back to the US in time to avoid that. I do not know the Swiss dialects that well.

    • Festus' Mustache

      All I remember is gemeltichiet or something.

  2. Scruffy Nerfherder

    I feel like I’m supposed to stand at attention and salute after all that.

    • Homple

      A snappy heel-click suffices.

      • Festus' Mustache

        Not without those sharp uniforms.

  3. Nephilium

    I ordered a Great Lakes Oktoberfest last Sunday watching the Browns win(!). Still not a fan of Oktoberfest beers.

    In better news, I’ve got a sixer of Bells Best Brown in the fridge, and the Cleveland Christmas beers are starting to hit the shelves (including the one with my favorite name). But the godfather of them all changed the party this year for the first pour. After that, it will be on tap at every bar in the area for several (dangerous) months.

    • Gender Traitor

      What are “‘Cleveland’ style spices”? Anything like they use in Cincinnati chili? ::ducks::

      • UnCivilServant

        Flammable river water.

      • cyto

        Please don’t joke. Craft beer aficionados have gotten so obsessed with putting crap in beer that absolutely does not belong in beer, someone will undoubtedly make a “3 bean chili beer” based on your post.

        Worst of all is the artificial flavor shandy from the national swill brands. Yes, I am specifically talking about Bud Lime and Bud Clamato. Bud lime sucks.. Bud clamato… well, you don’t really need to bother thinking about that one too much. Just imagine if you were having a nice beer and someone came up and poured clam juice and tomato juice in your beer. You would not say “Hey, thanks!” You would punch them in the face.

      • Nephilium

        There’s already been a beef heart beer, a pizza beer, and lots of chili pepper beers.

        One of the local beer shops used to post their new beers on RateBeer, and always included Bud Light Chelada and Bud Chelada on their new lists.

      • cyto

        Pizza beer?

        Uh…

        I really cannot wrap my head around that one.

        Let’s see… cheese flavor in my beer? No. Pepperoni flavor in my beer… no. Oregeno and basil beer…. uh… no. Tomato beer? No. Bread? well… I like a Belgian wheat. So maybe the crust in a really oblique way?

        Someone should have taken a pause. Beer production takes more than just one dude. So I don’t blame the evil genius who thought that was a good idea. I blame all of the people who did not speak up and say “no dude. Just …. no.”

      • Nephilium

        Yes.

        On the other side, oyster stouts and pumpkin beers both have a long standing history. FFS, the pilgrims made acorn beer when they landed here in the US. It was mentioned in a documentary, so hundreds of homebrewers with oak trees in their back yard started looking up what needs to be done to make it. We learned that you had to crack open the acorns to get the small amount of nut meat inside, then roast the nuts, then grind them, and it would take several pounds of acorns to get a pound of fermentable material.

        Of the several who went through with it, none of them recommended doing it again.

      • cyto

        If all you have are acorns…

        Yeah, I ain’t casting stones in their direction. If you are reduced to eating acorns, you are not doing well at all. Those are nasty and toxic and require a bunch of work to just get unpalatable calories out of. So more power to them if they figured out how to have beer on a near starvation diet.

      • DEG

        I like oyster stouts.

      • Gender Traitor

        But is it deep dish?

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Yeah… I never cpuld get behind the peanut butter beer thing, although one of the better beers I have had was a jalapeno IPA from Devil’s Backbone in Virginia.

      • Gender Traitor

        Speaking of Bud, I did like the Bud Super Bowl commercial from a few years ago in which the big guy at the bar disdainfully flicks the orange slice off the rim of his beer glass. “It’s not a fruit salad.”

      • Tres Cool

        “Stop doing that?”

      • Homple

        Amen, Cyto. Just because it identifies as beer does not mean it is beer.

      • Ted S.

        Nobody’s forcing you to drink it.

      • Homple

        Because they know better than to try forcing me to drink it.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        What are “‘Cleveland’ style spices”? Anything like they use in Cincinnati chili? ::ducks::

        Well played,

    • KibbledKristen

      Didn’t the Browns play WTF last weekend? I love when WTF loses.

      • Nephilium

        They did. And looked good winning.

        /waits for disappointment tomorrow.

      • Festus' Mustache

        *Helplessly hoping that WTF becomes a Thing*

  4. cyto

    We have been kicking bout complaints about the various lockdown approaches and how they don’t make sense. I suspect that this group is a bit out of the normal range – as libertarians in general tend to be.

    So here’s the question: How many of you are like me.. you give me a set of parameters to operate under, and I’ll remember those and base my actions on those going forward. So the wife says she wants the towels folded 3 times so that they fit side by side in the closet the way she wants, that’s how I do things moving forward. And since the reason was “so they fit side by side”, I’ll remember that. And when we move them to a different shelf that’s wider, I’ll fold them twice, so they fit side by side. Having the reason behind things is important.

    So Covid. We needed to flatten the curve. Why? So the hospitals would not be overwhelmed, thereby causing more people to die due to lack of medical care.

    Got it. Instructions received. Reasons understood. Makes sense.

    So we need to reduce the rate of spread. Keep you distance. Avoid crowds where things will spread faster. Don’t mix a lot, which also spreads stuff faster. Makes sense. Even the mask thing has applicability to slowing the rate of transmission. Got it.

    We successfully slowed the rate of transmission. Too successfully in many areas, forcing continual lockdowns for months and months.

    Nobody was monitoring the “rate of spread”, which was the entire point. Everyone shifted to “keep anyone from catching it”, which everyone acknowledges is impossible in a practical sense.

    So here we are…. much of the country has passed the peak of some very shallow curves – unlike the extremely steep curves that passed long ago in places like New York.

    And people are fighting to keep the lockdowns. Our local school district has been shuffled from a nice, tight plan with objective criteria for reopening and a plan for how to do it into a fight with the governor as they desperately try to keep things shut down, despite all their metrics having been met many weeks ago.

    This is where my “you gave me the reasons why” gene kicks in and things really bug me. The point was never to prevent anyone from getting it… just ensuring that the number of cases does not overwhelm the system. And now the Teachers Union has shifted the discussion to preventing even one person (one of them) from catching it. Worse, they say it is to protect the kids. They have been working overtime to scare parents that their kids are going to be dropping dead by the thousands.

    Which is not at all supportable by the facts. Yet they believe it.

    So, are you guys like me? Does this sort of “changing the reasoning on the fly to suit your desires” irritate you in a deep and almost uncontrollable way? Do you derive great frustration from the fact that your fellow Americans are incapable of remembering simple facts for more than a few days? Does it drive you crazy that most people cannot apply those facts in a logical manner, even if they did happen to remember them for more than 48 hours?

    Or is that just me?

    • UnCivilServant

      I was never sold on the original rationale, so I’ve rejected all the subsequent excuses for the overreach.

      • cyto

        The perfect libertarian answer. You sir, are a true Scotsman. So perfectly contrarian and nonconformist as to even reject the premise of considering the premise. Well played!

    • Nephilium

      Not just you. Changing the rules after the fact has pissed me off my entire life. Here in Ohio they went from “two weeks to flatten the curve” to talking about keeping the restrictions and masks for fucking years. I’m ready to volunteer for anyone running against DeWine in 2022.

      • Tres Cool

        We should do it.
        GT can be our ‘Chocolate & Kitteh Czar’. However I refuse to take up residence in Columbus. Ill have to hold court via Zoom from my Palatial2X-Wide™.

      • cyto

        That’s easy. Columbus is named after a racist, genocidal maniac. Done and done. Move the capital to Maui.

      • DEG

        I have gotten some flack in the Reopen NH group for refusing to vote for Sununu.

        Some folks are worried about Feltes winning. Feltes is far worse than Sununu.

        Fuck you. I will not vote for anyone who supported these lockdowns and shutdowns, DeSantis possibly excepted because he saw the light.

        I’m voting LP for governor.

      • Nephilium

        Free Ohio Now has shifted most of their e-mails from protests to pro-Trump rallies. It may be interesting in Ohio in 2 years.

      • DEG

        Reopen NH and another group are planning a candle-lit vigil at the State House for all the forgotten victims of the shutdowns. Businesses (*), folks that committed suicide, old folks dying alone, etc..

        That other group has twice weekly anti-mask ordinance protests. I’ve been to a few.

        There are a lot of pro-Trump folks in Reopen NH, but so far no explicitly Trump rallies.

        (*) I initially misspelled “business” as “bustiness”.

    • hayeksplosives

      “Does this sort of ‘changing the reasoning on the fly to suit your desires’ irritate you in a deep and almost uncontrollable way? “

      Yes. Beyond belief. This underlies many of the arguments I have with my spouse. And he can’t stand that I remember everything.

      Yet we still do the dance wherein I point out the moving goalposts and he whines about how pedantic I am being.

      Ah, the ol’ arguments are the best ones.

      • Mojeaux

        the ol’ arguments are the best ones.

        Yep. It’s never about the thing you’re arguing about. It’s about Inciting Incident X way back in the day that has never been resolved.

      • straffinrun

        It’s always about what’s real. People love to be distracted and not focus on what is the real problem.

      • cyto

        That perfectly sums up my relationship with the wife. Her reality is entirely malleable, and mine is extremely grounded.
        This is why we rarely argue. I just shut up, knowing that there is no point. We will end up arguing about how she just moved the goalposts completely in a circle, at which point she’ll just call me names and leave, trailing a string of profanity behind her.

        So I just don’t argue unless I really have no choice. Unless backed into a corner one way or another, I just let her have her way. It ain’t worth the drama, and she can’t process what I’m saying when she’s mad anyway.

      • peachy rex

        My fiancee said she’d always wanted someone who listened to her and would remember what she had said…

      • straffinrun

        LOL.

      • R C Dean

        Sounds good in theory, doesn’t it?

      • peachy rex

        One is reminded of an Oscar Wilde aphorism.

        She’s usually a good sport about it, though.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Aside from “two tragedies”, Oscar made many interesting observations about marriage — I don’t know whose besides his own.

      • Festus' Mustache

        Well, he had the advantage of observing from a distance.

      • Old Man With Candy

        /looks at SP

        /thanks the multitude of deities who made this marriage possible

    • grrizzly

      Even the original push to slow down the spread was completely unnecessary anywhere in the US. Even in the New York area hospitals never got overwhelmed. The hospital ship stayed mostly empty. The temporary hospital in the Central Park was quickly pushed out since the people behind it were not socially progressive. Despite all social distancing and lockdowns in the Northeast it is still the one region with the highest COVID deaths in the entire world. All the measures were unnecessary and ineffective.

      But even if we give the benefit of the doubt to the people who wanted to flatten the curve during the two weeks in late March and early April, it’s now obvious they lacked the wisdom to realize that the society wouldn’t be able to exit the lockdown state of mind two or three weeks later.

      • R C Dean

        We came close to a real crisis in AZ for a few weeks. But we never had to open a special facility, and staffing shortages were easily dealt with by importing docs and nurses for those few weeks.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        But didn’t you hear the mayor? She said THE MORGUE WAS FULL.

      • Ted S.

        So? Those people are already dead.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        First off: it wasn’t. Second: exactly, Ted.

      • hayeksplosives

        A very good case can be made that the New York overreaction killed several covid patients by having unqualified medical professionals set up ventilators wrong.

        Doctors admitted anonymously that they were pressed into using them even if they (the doc) were orthopedic surgeons or dermatologists etc., and that subsequently they turned the ventilators up too high and damaged lungs.

        New York probably takes the prize for worst medical response in the US.

        Worst dictatorial overreach prize is still up for grabs.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      Don’t mix a lot? What about Sir Mixalot? Er mag die großen Popo und er kann nicht luegen.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I’m livid.

      I see and listen to well-educated friends who cannot recognize what has happened. I think half of them are cowards and the other half are going along to get along.

      We’ve moved beyond solving a problem and into religious fear.

    • R C Dean

      I’ve taken to asking “what’s the emergency? There’s a handful of ‘Vid ICU patients statewide, some regular ‘Vid inpatients, a handful of deaths every day, but the whole thing at this point is well below a typical flu season. So what’s the emergency that justifies all this?”

      Everybody I say this to basically agrees. I might get a “second wave” very now and then, but to that I say “why don’t we see if something like a second wave that matters actually starts?”

    • Rebel Scum

      You can’t stop the spread. That is why that was not the original premise. But the goal posts have been moved for political reasons. So here we are.

      I do not and will not participate in COVID-1984 minstrel theater.

    • Rhywun

      And now the Teachers Union has shifted the discussion to preventing even one person (one of them) from catching it.

      Schools in NYC were reopening on Monday and closing by Friday if anyone caught the plague. It’s madness.

      • Ted S.

        I guess the school is not our house.

      • Hyperion

        If they can manage to keep public schools shut down for at least 20 more years, we may finally wind up with a mostly well educated public again.

    • Homple

      Not just you. The rocket assisted goal posts are just an excuse for every politician in the country to get their tyrant on. Inside every two bit officeholder is a Führer raging to get out.

    • Festus' Mustache

      It’s not just you. Anyone else wish to share?

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      Gotta crush the economy so the only way out is to Build Back Better with the Green New Deal.

      • C. Anacreon

        So much this, I think that’s exactly the plan. How many times during the debate did Biden turn to the camera and say he was going to create “millions of good paying union jobs” with investing in renewable energy? Yes, he’ll create millions of jobs after destroying tens of millions of existing jobs.

        Thinking the Green New Deal will be a boon for the economy is reminiscent of the vineyard buyer’s joke:

        How do you become a millionaire in the wine business?

        Start off as a billionaire.

    • DEG

      So, are you guys like me? Does this sort of “changing the reasoning on the fly to suit your desires” irritate you in a deep and almost uncontrollable way?

      Changing the reason the fly pisses me off, but on the other hand, I hated the lockdowns from day 1.

  5. Mojeaux

    @Hayek re impending grand-rugrat: Congratulations and condolences.

    • cyto

      That is not possible. All of our Glilb hotties are now and forever remain 29.

      That was always my mother’s line. When I was in grad school I told her she was finally going to have to give that up.

      ……………………

      Alternate reaction: I first realized I was getting old when one of the cute secretaries at work told me she was about to become a grandmother. She was quite the hottie, being a former NFL cheerleader. I distinctly remember our reaction to a college roommate who had a 27 year old girlfriend: “She’s so OLD! Dude!” The notion that I found a 40 year old grandma was attractive was unsettling. It was the final proof that I was no longer a spring chicken.

      ……………………..

      Alternate alternate reaction: One of the ways I keep time in my life is off of my first high school girlfriend. She got pregnant with her next boyfriend after me… he fell for “don’t worry, it is safe.” She tried it on me. Later told me her mom taught her that it was how you trap a man. Anyway, by the time I was in graduate school, that kid was in elementary school. When I was getting married, that kid was graduating…… and having her own kid. It is kind of my alternate life. I could be a great grandpa… if only I had trailer park sensibilities.

      ……………………… Alternate alternate alternate reaction: Congratulations!

      Maybe I should have just gone with that one first.

      • hayeksplosives

        “ Maybe I should have just gone with that one first.”

        No skin off my nose. As my husband solemnly told both his sons years ago: “Boys, I love you dearly. But there is no such thing as Grandchild Support.”

      • Festus' Mustache

        That third part of your rant hit home. My 14 year-old in girlfriend in 1979 wouldn’t go all the way with me but she got knocked up about two months after we broke up. Named the kid after me. Was I cucked?

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        I doubt a 15-year-old mom was thinking straight.

    • DEG

      @Hayek re impending grand-rugrat: Congratulations and condolences.

      I missed something.

      • Old Man With Candy

        I have an alibi.

      • DEG

        My alibi is that instead of reading Glibs I’ve been being a dipshit so I have even less clue than normal about what is going on.

  6. straffinrun

    Went out for drinks tonight and met some Americans. One of the girls went on about how empathetic she was. Time to for me to give her a hypothetical: “Alright. You’ve got a white supremacist that is at home, going to town on his internet porn to flaxen haired fräuleins. Midway, he notices a sidebar video with a Filipino new half, clicks on it an busts it. How much sympathy do you have for the guilt he must be feeling at that moment?”

    • cyto

      10 out of 10.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      “I’m very empathetic.”

      That’s like announcing you would abandon a newborn on the side of the road if it preserved your social media rep.

      • Festus' Mustache

        Stating that you are empathetic is akin to stating that you are smart.

      • Festus' Mustache

        Thanks Toxteth. You keep me grounded.

      • Toxteth O'Grady

        Aw.

        220, 221: whatever it takes.

      • Hyperion

        This. It always amuses, or annoys me when every person I meet who is a prog, and you do not have to ask to find that out, because they cannot wait to tell you… It’s like they’re giddy to the point that you are wondering if they really need to go pee right now of they have something very important to say that cannot wait. It’s like they have their hand up ‘me me me me, pick me, pick me!’, like they’re in pre-school.

        So I’ll just sort of go into anxiously awaiting what you have to say mode, and then they immediately blurt out ”I’m so liberal, no one is more liberal than me! I hate Trump, I’m so liberal!.

        Then you don’t respond at all, they look first confused and then seriously deflated, then they get a look of sudden realization and way ‘I gotta go!’ and hurry off.

      • Mad Scientist

        95% of the people who believe in the cause du jour only do so to impress others with how deeply they care about…whatever that thing is. When the new pot of soup is ready, they’re off to tell everyone about that instead. What they want is your approval.

      • RAHeinlein

        Similar to Cornell grads.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        LOL

    • DEG

      That is a beautiful hypothetical.

  7. The Bearded Hobbit

    Question for the IT glibs.

    At home I have a small LAN based upon a Windows Server 2003 server. In years past it hosted my domain for www and mail. Now it is a file server and backup device.

    When my Win 7 computer died I bought a refurbished Win10Pro box. I have been unable to connect it to my domain controller. I either get a message that the DC cannot be found or that there is a DNS error.

    DNS for the domain is running on the server and the DNS network settings on the client point solely to the server.

    Search of the internet shows that Win10-Server2003 is possible but none of the solutions has worked. I’ve been adding domain computers for almost 20 years so this isn’t my first dance. My wife’s Win7 machine works fine and I’ve used the network settings from it on the new one without success.

    The server is not worth upgrading the software, even it the hardware would allow it.

    Any suggestions?

    • cyto

      Sounds weird. I assume can ping the IP of the server?

      Maybe firewall settings? My guess is something goofy in the win 10 network or privacy settings, but I have never seen this. I would guess that there might be some protection against DNS injection attacks at play in the win 10 box and your 2003 server isn’t configured to give the proper answer.

      ………..

      Alternate solution to test the configuration after the good suggestions that others offer fail…. download a bootable USB image of Ubuntu and load that on the win 10 box and see if it works. Also, use said image to set up an ubuntu based server to see if win 10 box can live in that environment. At least you will have isolated which end of the chain needs your attention.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Ping works both ways. I thought about the firewall so I disabled it and tried again. No joy.

      • cyto

        You made me curios, so I asked the google.

        The google says that you should update your outdated server. Thanks the google. You have much smart.

        I also found a different clue: IPV6. One dude was having trouble joining a 2003 domain and it was because it was trying to do ipv6.

        For that guy, removing IPV6 support from the win 10 network settings did the trick.

      • cyto

        Oh, and another guy pointed out that a reboot is required. Doesn’t work without the reboot, apparently.

      • Rhywun

        Nothing in Windows works without at least one reboot.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        YES!! YES!! The IPV6 did the trick!!

        THANK YOU! I have been working on this for two days.

      • cyto

        That’s why they pay me the big bucks.

        Well, they should, any way.

      • OBJ FRANKELSON

        Maybe Win10 does Kerberos/authentication different. Aa was stated above getting the latest SP would be the first thing to do. Might be a physical layer issue too. See if your router/switch has port security set up, the workstation probably wouldn’t get an IP.

        Switching to Linux would probably remediate all your issues if you have the time or patients.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        None of my patients are Linux specialists.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Thanks but I’d rather not dump more money into a twenty year-old LAN.

    • Hyperion

      “Any suggestions?”

      Yes, before tackling other issues, upgrade your server OS. To at least 2012, 2016 would be preferable.

      Last time I saw Server 2003, the Ming Dynasty was still a thing.

      • Hyperion

        Of course, I should have read ‘server not worth upgrading’ first. And as long as it’s not connected to the internet.

      • cyto

        Could be upgraded to latest Linux server version. There are semi-drop-in replacements for windows domain controllers out there… but that would require a lot of learning and transferring and dealing with other crap.

        I had a linux DC years ago when things were new and clunky – just for the fun of it. Mail server, file server, DNS, AD, all of it. On a celeron PC. Ran like a champ with only a handful of clients. Used it in Dev for a while, until we had the budget for a full dev environment.

        So if just screwing around for fun is an option – it is a fun pastime that actually could replace all the functionality in a fully upgradable fashion.

      • Hyperion

        The other thing is, if it’s just a file server, what is it serving files to? Applications or it just file storage? If it’s just file storage, I’d drop the server altogether and just buy more SSDs and set up a Home Network with file sharing instead.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        I will probably migrate to that configuration. I have two large SSDs that I’m using for backups and have been migrating files over to them in anticipation of server death.

        Thanks to all for your interest and suggestions.

      • l0b0t

        Best Buy has 14Tb WD external drives on sale for $249.99 if you, or anyone else, is in the market for more storage space.

      • Ted S.

        How many hours of porn is 14TB?

      • l0b0t

        A lot? I’m running 3 10TB drives and I’m almost maxed out on space with about 5000 feature films and 600 complete television series.

      • Ted S.

        So 14TB isn’t enough for all your porn….

      • C. Anacreon

        Porn? He said “feature” films.

        That means that in those films, porn is a feature, not a bug.

    • Rhywun

      That’s the wrong side of IT for me. All that stuff makes my brain hurt. I just connect wires at random until shit works.

  8. Rebel Scum
  9. Hyperion

    Everyone should read this

    For anyone interested in why the country is headed toward a cliff with a quagmire of shit at the bottom, this article gives some real insight.

    • Pine_Tree

      Good one. I’ve always told my kids (and I didn’t make it up but I don’t remember where I got it from) that the 3 cultural ingredients for continual innovation and prosperity were:
      – secure property rights
      – free-enough trade
      – predictable legal system

      The article points at the Progressive era’s attacks on these – mostly the first and third. Confiscatory taxation comes right out of the postmodern disdain for the 8th and 10th commandments (stealing and coveting) – with the state greedily and happily insisting on taking a piece of what’s yours. And the activist-legal complex plays havoc with what’s supposed to be a predictable and equitable system of law.

      All the left can do is pillage. Everything they do is a lie and theft. Every single thing.

    • Festus' Mustache

      I got two paragraphs in and my wee brain broke.

    • SandMan

      Good article, but depressing. Been seeing a lot of woke crap coming out of the American Chemical Society lately, almost cancelled my membership.

    • Rhywun

      Postmodernism could be an intellectual fad that evaporates in the coming years.

      And monkeys could fly out my butt.

      Seriously, it’s been steadily rising for decades – more quickly than ever now it seems; I don’t see it waning any time soon absent some horrible catastrophes I don’t want to think about.

      • Hyperion

        It will wane then they finally get their way on everything and billions start starving and dying from exposure to the elements. Or the US is invaded by the Chinese and we just surrender because we don’t have any weapons or anyone willing to fight.

    • TARDis

      Its most nefarious manifestation is Critical Theory, which derives from Marxism and posits that society is nothing but a hierarchy of oppressors and the oppressed.

      Feature, not bug, right? If you going to oppress, you might as well go all in.

      I’m glad he started right in with the Marxism as a base.

    • Hyperion

      O.M.F.G.

      Is that Chris Christy?

      Now do Everybody Wants Some.

      • Rhywun

        He just caught the ‘vid. I guess it makes you lose all sense of shame.

      • Festus' Mustache

        He grown it He own it! Shake that thang fat-boy!

      • Hyperion

        Puts in request for Every Body Wants Some for a 2nd time.

      • straffinrun

        The Van Halen song?

    • Hyperion

      Well, dude, is the fact that CA is now 100% controlled by far left democrats and they all hate your guts because you’re Jewish not enough? I mean seriously, what have you been waiting for?

      Simi Valley is probably my favorite place that I’ve ever lived and I would not go back to CA if they paid me, gave me a home for free, and gave me a 100 year tax exemption. At the rate they’re going they’ll have more death camps than the Norks in 10 years, or 2 years if the democrats take back control of the federal government.

      • Hyperion

        That’s a symbol of oppression and white supremacy. Next thing, you’ll be showing images of cottages with white picked fences and flower gardens. And we all know how horrifying that is.

      • Festus' Mustache

        So what? I want to go back to the days where every third car on the highway was a Volkswagen and girls had names like Susan and Lisa and Candy.

      • Hyperion

        Confirmed White Supremacist.

      • Festus' Mustache

        Now those are just stripper names. Sad.

      • hayeksplosives

        Which one of you will give Splosives a roof over her head when she has to flee California? She won’t eat much…

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I’m gonna have to talk to the spousal unit about that one.

      • DEG

        There’s nothing wrong with threesomes.

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Weather seems not to be improving anywhere else, except for those with unusual tastes in climate. But yeah, a backup plan is wise to have.

  10. Rebel Scum

    This is good. But I don’t really need minute by minute updates because the president caught a cold.

    • RAHeinlein

      True, but wouldn’t it be great if Trump had a Governor brother who could showcase his brave fight against the virus during daily briefings?

      • Festus' Mustache

        Ivana press briefings from the Official Yoga Room? Yes please!

      • hayeksplosives

        Ivana is a bit past her prime, but she is still sharp, clever, and feisty.

        Or do you mean Ivanka?

      • Festus' Mustache

        Thumbs for fingers. Of course I meant Ivanka! Or did I?

    • CPRM

      Moments after the press conference, a source familiar with the president’s health gave a more cautious diagnosis to the press pool.

      Stop with this ‘source familiar with’ bullshit.

  11. C. Anacreon

    Awhile back a bunch of tiny quail chicks were hopping everywhere in our yard, no bigger than your thumb. We’ve watched as they slowly grew, but haven’t seen them recently, and I was concerned for them, because there’s plenty of predators around. But just now they trotted past in a line as if they were the opening credits on the Partridge Family, all grown up,, maybe 15-20 all told.

    It brought a big smile to my face. Now that my wife and I are empty nesters, I totally understand why Tony Soprano was so tied to those ducks in his pool.

    • Rebel Scum

      because there’s plenty of predators around

      The cat says “hi”.

    • Festus' Mustache

      I do the same with the doe and her fawns at work. We get generations of birds at the feeders. Even the bears but bears can fuck right off because bear is asshoe!

    • R C Dean

      Around the Casa Dean, there is always attrition of the quail hatchlings. I’ve seen some go from 10 or more down to two. This year they did better though. Two sets that only lost a few each.

  12. Rebel Scum

    Wear the mask and hold the vote, you cunte.

    We now have two members of the Senate Judiciary Committee who have tested positive for COVID, and there may be more. I wish my colleagues well.

    It is irresponsible and dangerous to move forward with a hearing, and there is absolutely no good reason to do so.

  13. Rebel Scum

    House negro.

    It’s a sign of where you stand that you chose to plead your case on a racist tv show instead of face the scrutiny of legitimate journalists. You are a public puppet of white supremacy and they will continue to trot you out until every last shred of your credibility is destroyed.

    I am always stunned by leftist tolerance.

    Charles’ statement followed Cameron’s appearance on Tucker Carlson Tonight, wherein he forcefully addressed the critics who accused him of being a “sellout” over his handling of the Breonna Taylor case. Last month, Cameron detailed a grand jury’s decision to withhold murder charges for the officers involved in the fatal shooting of the 26-year-old woman. One officer, Brett Hankison, was charged with three counts of wanton endangerment.

    “It is so unfortunate that because I have a different political philosophy and because of my role as the attorney general and as the special prosecutor in the Breonna Taylor investigation, because I led with the facts and the truth and had that lead to the conclusion, somehow I betrayed my race,” Cameron told Carlson during a Thursday appearance on the show.

    • Rhywun

      Fucking Hollywood gives DC a run for its money on “assholes”. Holy bejeezus what a prick.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      It’s just stupid in any case.

      He’s more a puppet of police unions and the War on Drugs.

  14. Hyperion

    Now it’s becoming even more blatantly obvious why the left are pushing ‘test everyone!’. Because they can use it to stop anything from happening that they don’t want to happen. Supreme Court hearings? Can’t do it, someone has Covid! My football team is about to lose? Can’t play the game, someone has Covid!

    Damn all these assholes straight to hell.

    • Rebel Scum

      You could always be a gay-assed, pussy, homo and forfeit the game you were winning because you were offended.

      • Hyperion

        I’ve been making a joke for years now about the NFL, where someone on a team calls someone on the opposing team a ‘a big fat poopy head’, gets ejected from the game and the other team is awarded 7 free points for the offense.

        But I see professional sports have decided to skip that and go straight to peak derp.

      • Rhywun

        Ugh, Landon Donovan… that asshole.

        Donovan said the referee admitted he heard the slur, which was in another language, but could not interpret it and thus could not send him off.

        What in the ever-loving fuck? I guess the league needs refs who speak every language in the world in order to properly judge hurt feelings.

        I tapped out of that article. What a shit show.

        The USL is worse than MLS now. They stop every game in the middle for a kneel session. After several times witnessing that I said “enough”.

      • peachy rex

        I have a theory that soccer failed to launch in the US because for years Landon fucking Donovan was our best player. Grow some hair and a set of balls, Landycakes.

      • UnCivilServant

        The theory I heard was that the sport just wasn’t interesting to watch, especially if you didn’t play it growing up.

      • Rhywun

        Remember when they tried to make him a commentator? LOL that didn’t last long. Guy has all the personality of a dishrag.

  15. Rebel Scum

    One thing I don’t like about this time of year: Spiders. Wolf spiders, in particular, keep getting into my house.

    • Gender Traitor

      Your house is over a portal to Hell??

      • Festus' Mustache

        So that’s where the earwigs come from.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Ah yes. Around here its the roaches. Followed by the crickets. Then the scorpions follow because they finally have something to eat. Then they eat all the crickets and eventually eat each other. Then the cycle begins anew,

      Somewhere in there I find a nest of black widows in my pool skimmer, that at least explains all the dead spiders floating in my pool.

      • TARDis

        Maybe RS could loan you some spiders.

  16. The Bearded Hobbit

    OK, one more question.

    What’s the name of the add-on/plug-in/extension for Glibertarians? I added Greasemonkey but there was something else, if I recall.

    I checked the FAQs and downloads and it wasn’t mentioned.

    • Hyperion

      TaperMonkey?

    • Toxteth O'Grady

      Monocle?

    • Mad Scientist

      Link here.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Monocle it is. Thanks for the link.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Perhaps TPTB could add that link to the FAQ or the Downloads?

      • Mad Scientist

        There’s a link on the home page at the bottom of the sidebar.

      • The Bearded Hobbit

        Why, yes, yes there is. Shoulda looked around a bit more. Thanks again.

      • TARDis

        I guess this happened a few weeks ago, but is Greasemonkey dead for Firefox Android?

    • TARDis

      Greasemonkey is for Firefox , right?

      I thought Tampermonkey was for Chrome.

      • TARDis

        Nevermind. I should have just clicked on the linkie.

  17. Rebel Scum

    Cunte.

    After the ruling, Whitmer released a response saying that she found the ruling “deeply disappointing” and that she would continue to enforce unspecified actions.

    “It is important to note that this ruling does not take effect for at least 21 days, and until then, my emergency declaration and orders retain the force of law. Furthermore, after 21 days, many of the responsive measures I have put in place to control the spread of the virus will continue under alternative sources of authority that were not at issue in today’s ruling,” Whitmer said in her statement.

    • Hyperion

      The Further Chronicles of Karen Jong Un Hitler, the Triggering.

    • R C Dean

      The tree of liberty in Michigan needs watering.

      • ElspethFlashman

        it does, very much.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      How does it work in Michigan, can they recall the governor there?

      • ElspethFlashman

        Yes, already started: recall for gov. Whitmer :

        Michigan Board of State Canvassers approved two recall petitions Wednesday seeking to drive Democrat governor Gretchen Whitmer out of office over her Coronavirus emergency orders, including her “shelter-in-place” lockdown and her effort to ban elective medical procedures in the state [ . . .] Dated Sept 2, 2020

        https://nationalfile.com/official-gretchen-whitmer-will-face-a-recall-effort-in-michigan/

      • The Gunslinger

        Yes I believe there is a petition going. I tried going to there web page a few times to look for a location to sign but their page was always down.

  18. westernsloper

    I haven’t bought any Oktoberfest beers yet. I need to do that.

    • Rebel Scum

      #MeToo

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Yes you need to do that. I don’t care how many pedestrians you hit on the way to the liquor store.

      • BakedPenguin

        It’s hardly even more than he hits while “sober”

    • DEG

      I have probably single-handedly put a significant dent into the Oktoberfest beer supply at one of the local brewpubs.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      If they ever got supremacists in the numbers that they claim exist, this country would immediately turn into a fascist Finland.

    • mikey

      Also, the likelyhood that a “racist incident/attack’ is fake must be 99%+.

    • Festus' Mustache

      That’s all well and good but I don’t like to see people march with flags for some reason or another.

    • Rebel Scum

      Diverse crowd. Even a rainbow flag. But everyone knows Drumpfler hates teh gays.

  19. DEG

    I like they sell it in 500mL bottles year round instead of those weak-ass 330ml bottles the Germans sell.

    330 ml bottles in America. I remember Paulaner being available in half liter bottles in Germany.

    I’ve forgotten a lot of German.

    If this would have been a normal year, Oktoberfest would end tomorrow.

    • Homple

      The great majority of bottled beer in Germany is sold in half liter bottles.

      • TARDis

        In easy to tote crates of 20. My parents used to get 3 crates per week delivered to the door. ?

  20. DEG

    Now drinking.

    I’m not sure what to make of it.

    • Nephilium

      Full bodied, or light?

      Full bodied those would be similar to several Albino/White stouts in Ohio. Light, it seems like it might be close to a coffee blond/Kolsch.

      • DEG

        Weird i show I would describe it.

        But somehow… also good tasting.

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      that looks good, the Andy’s I’m sipping is a dark version, coca nibs and a touch of mint,
      /clinks a glass!

    • DEG

      Excellent!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      That would be excellent.

      I just took a four hour nap, so I’m about a quarter caught up on sleep I’ve missed this week.

      • Rhywun

        Jealous. I need one of those, badly.

      • Rhywun

        Except I’m working and trying to catch up on shit I need to do that didn’t fit into any of my twelve-hour work days this week.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Turns out Advil works better for kidney stone pain than Percocet.

      • Rhywun

        Oh shit, that. Buck up!

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      JFC. That’s announcing you’re a moralizing asshole with no sense of humor, from a humor magazine.

      People have lost their damn minds.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        The comments were the best part. They reminded me of Dalmia articles over at Reason where the pearls in the comments were worth at least a cursory read of the shitty article.

      • C. Anacreon

        FTA: “Doing an episode about police brutality without directly addressing racism is a little like making the movie Walk the Line and omitting the character of Johnny Cash.”

        Or, one could actually address police brutality without making it into yet another divisive racial argument, and not ignoring all the heinous acts that happen across the board. And also without scrounging for inaccurate similes. Sheesh.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        The Tom Friedman School of Strained Metaphors

    • Mad Scientist

      And yet somehow Cracked is still funnier than South Park.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        I haven’t watched SP lately TBH. The show’s still lacking I take it?

      • Mad Scientist

        To be fair, I haven’t seen an episode in years. I assume they’re still going with the old scheme of putting 2 minutes worth of jokes through the wringer again and again until they stretch into half an hour.

      • Rhywun

        *snort*
        I haven’t cared for recent seasons myself.

        I had to rage-quit that article from woke overload.

  21. LCDR_Fish

    Did I miss Iowahawkblog nuking (or having) his twitter account this week?

    • Gustave Lytton

      Someone apparently hacked his account and went crazy with tweets before it got pulled.

    • CPRM

      There was a report it was hacked, then it disappeared.

  22. TARDis

    Bah! Dinner plans were nuked tonight. Mrs. T. ordered bone-in chops from Whole Foods for me to smoke on the Hibachi. They reeked of early putrefaction. Oh well, Grubhub it is then.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      That sucks. Nothing like the disappointment of a ruined meal.

      • hayeksplosives

        Oh, man! Disappointing.

        🙁

        I hope you can get a replacement and try again another day.

      • TARDis

        They refunded the cost promptly, so I’ll just pick up a replacement at Publix/Kroger tomorrow. I’m kind of disappointed in Whole Foods though. First World problems, eh?

        Wifey also ordered beef short ribs because they were on sale. They cut them flat across the bones. That’s weird to me. There are four bones in each slice, with the marrow exposed. ?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Still, you should never get spoiled meat from any butcher, ever.

        I wouldn’t trust anything they sold after that.

      • Sean

        ??

    • Sean

      We picked up some takeout bbq.

    • Sean

      Fwiw, I was recently talking to someone who worked at a whole foods. They had nothing nice to say about the way this branch ran their meat department.

  23. Rebel Scum

    Classy.

    Trump supporters waited outside the facility, praying for the president’s recovery. A contingent of his detractors grew, too.

    “Fuck Donald Trump,” one woman chanted, waving her middle finger in the air:

    “Your president is dying, ahh!” another woman taunted.

    Others hoped for Trump’s death:

    ne woman holding a “F*ck Trump” sign admitted she hopes he dies.

    “Wah, wah, your leader’s gonna die!” she shouted.

    “I hope he dies!”

    • hayeksplosives

      This is the result of the lefties stoking hate as if it’s a virtue when it’s directed at those deemed Unclean.

  24. Scruffy Nerfherder

    For some reason, Google thinks I should be reading articles about how much happier single people are than I am. In fact, single people are really happy, just really happy, and fulfilled, and did I mention they’re happy and fulfilled?

    • DEG

      Huh.

      /looks around house
      /glares at work laptop
      /notes lack of girlfriend
      /notes he is strangely sober

      Fuck Google

    • Yusef drives a Kia

      As a newly single guy I can confirm, BullShit!

    • Mad Scientist

      Daniel-san, lies only become true if person choose to believe.

    • Mojeaux

      #FakeNews

      I remember my single days.

    • Ted S.

      Most of those single people don’t have kidney stones.

  25. hayeksplosives

    I was watching a documentary on Rome, and Hannibal’s famous invasion featuring elephants. My mind wandered to “What kind of elephants did they use?” Indian elephants are used by man to this day—not exactly domesticated, but at least tame.

    Then the documentary flashed up an illustration of the army, and it showed Asian elephants. There was my answer. But wait! The next illustration showed African elephants! I MUST KNOW!!

    It seems that Asian elephants were shipped West as war elephants from Asia BUT so were Mesopotamian (Syrian, Persian) elephants, now extinct.

    There’s a good chance Hannibal used African Forest Elephants, now extinct, which looked like smaller African elecphants. But Hannibal’s favorite was named “The Syrian” so it might have been a Mesopotamian.

    I am Cliff Clavened out.

    • C. Anacreon

      Thanks for the Hannibal Lecture.

      • Raven Nation

        Boo!

      • Rebel Scum

        *narrows gaze*

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Nice

      • Tundra

        *applauds*

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        I know the history quite well, but didn’t know that, thanks Hayek!

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Okay. That deserves a golf ? clap ?.

    • peachy rex

      True African elephants are supposedly untameable. The usual supposition is that the Carthos used mostly forest elephants, as did the Ptolemies – by Hannibal’s day, Asian elephants weren’t coming west any longer, though the Seleucids still had a herd.

  26. westernsloper

    Seems NPR has tracked down the super spreader event wut is going to kill all the GOP.

    Your moms a super spreader.

    • Rebel Scum

      It’s kinda funny see a guy put into a side by side cop car

      Indeed.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Now they’re agitating for canceling Barrett’s confirmation hearings because of course they are.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        Whoops

      • Rebel Scum

        Can’t risk filling a scotus vacancy for a virus with a 0.3% fatality rate.