The Hat and The Hair: Episode 172

by | Oct 14, 2020 | Hat and Hair, SugarFree | 230 comments

 

“What’s so wrong with kissing a man?” Donald asked. “I was at a rally, I’m immune to the China Virus and he wanted a kiss. Where’s the harm?”

“I’m not sure he wanted it, Donald,” the hair said.

“He was at my rally, wasn’t he?”

“I’m not sure that means…”

“Look, you come to one of my rallies and you are asking for it. ‘Kiss me, Donald! Kiss me!’ They’re all begging for it. Like the gold star families. Handsy. Handsy people.”

“It just sends the wrong message,” the hair said.

“What wrong message? That I love my people? That they love me? Whatever. I’m going to express that.”

“I’m worried about the evangelicals, Donald. Especially this close to the election,” the hair said.

“Evangelicals?” the hat said, finally controlling his convulsive laughter. “They’re all gay as hell. One meth binge away from rent boys and felchkakke.”

“But they can’t be seen as supporting a gay President,” the hair said.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa…” Donald said. “I’m not gay. I just kiss men at my rallies. Nothing gay about that.”

“Donald…” the hair starts.

“Especially the guys with beards,” Donald said. “I love how it tickles.”

“He’s exploring his sexuality,” the hat said to the hair suggestively. “You know how that is.”

“It was just one night,” the hair replied defensively. “She was bald! How was I supposed to know?!?”

“I experimented at Wharton,” Donald said dreamily. “Kissed a fat girl, which is like kissing a guy.”

“I don’t think…” the hair said but Donald cut him off.

“Huge breasts. Mountainous. A little hair in the cleavage, but you get used to that when you date Slavic women,” Donald said.

“Well, I think she sounds lovely,” the hair said.

“Cleaning lady,” Donald continued. “I think one of the fraternities owned her. Used to strap a keg to her back and make her walk around at parties.”

The hat made a small retching noise.

“You said this was safe space,” Donald said. “No judgments.”

“I’m sorry, Donald, do go on.”

“No. You ruined it. We were having a nice night and you ruined it.”

“Don’t be like that,” the hat said, burrowing into his armpit to snuggle.

“I was having a nice time,” the hair said from Donald’s other armpit.

“Snuggle time is sacred,” Donald said, laying back on his mound of pillows. “I’m not going to let you sleep in bed with me if you can’t respect it.”

The hat and the hair lay with Donald, warm and content until he began to snore.

“Felchkakke?” the hair asked in a whisper.

“You know how every gay orgy has a felcher? The guy going around sucking everyone’s asshole?”

“Uh, that doesn’t sound right.”

“Every gay orgy has one. Trust me. I saw it on USENET. Anyway, when that guy, the felch guy, is full, the gay orgy is over and then comes time to crown the Fag Queen of the Orgy, the guy who took the most men up his ass.”

“What are you talking about? This wasn’t on any episode of Queer As Folk I ever saw.”

“The felcher crowns the Fag Queen by vomiting all the shit and lube and gay cum in his stomach all of over the Fag Queen. Just drenches him. Felchkakke!”

“That’s stupid. That doesn’t happen.”

“Go to bed,” Donald rumbled and made kissing noises until he fell back asleep.

 

 

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

230 Comments

  1. AlexinCT

    My brain hurtz…

  2. AlexinCT

    “He’s exploring his sexuality,” the hat said to the hair suggestively. “You know how that is.”

    Wanna fud?

  3. Drake

    My wife wants to know why I’m giggling. I cannot form an answer.

  4. The Late P Brooks

    “Kissed a fat girl, which is like kissing a guy.”

    *makes “touchdown” signal*

  5. db

    Oh my.

  6. CPRM

    Ok, that ending was finally it…too much for me. We’ve lost the Evangelicals for sure this time.

    • Sean

      And our family friendly rating.

      • The Other Kevin

        That ship sailed so long ago it had 2 of each animal on it.

  7. db

    OT?

    So what’s going to happen with the parallel town halls on Thursday? Will Biden, uninterrupted by Trump, finally slip his bonds and go totally bonkers? Will Trump just stand there and live-tweet responses to Joe’s program?

    • The Other Kevin

      I just want to see if the TV ratings are the same as the in person rallies.

  8. Swiss Servator

    “Cleaning lady,” Donald continued. “I think one of the fraternities owned her. Used to strap a keg to her back and make her walk around at parties.”

    The finest paragraph I shall read this week.

  9. Rebel Scum

    It was ok until the end there.

    • Bobarian LMD

      I literally gagged.

      The real original meaning of the word.

  10. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Could have done without the exposition.

    *herk*

  11. Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

    “A little hair in the cleavage, but you get used to that when you date Slavic women.” Not the Slavic women I’ve known, nor the one I’m married to.

    That said, Slovenian women seem to have really heavy mustaches, at least the ones in Maribor. It was kind of disturbing.

    • pistoffnick

      So..you don’t like the hirsute lip tickle?

  12. Rebel Scum

    Dishonest cunte.

    “You know, we’ve been dealing with threats way back since January. They’ve been multiple. We obviously work very closely with our security detail, they work with local officials, the FBI, and this was just yet another threat to us,” Northam told host John Berman. “But, you know, I think the message is that certainly, I don’t govern under a cloud of intimidation. That’s not who I am. And this is not about me. It’s not about the governor of Michigan — this is about this country.”

    He continued, “And it’s about a president that is emboldening these individuals, these white supremacists and this started, John, back in Charlottesville, back in 2017, with that tremendous tragedy when white supremacists marched into that city, spewing their hatred and bigotry. Our president said that these were fine individuals. There’s nothing fine about them. And then in April, asking Virginians to liberate. He did the same in Michigan. You know, leadership, words matter. And these people take their marching orders from people like the president, and it’s unfortunate, and it needs to stop.”

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      It’s funny (read horrifying) how fast he went from “the decent moderate doctor soldier” to flaming leftist.

      • SugarFree

        He got a pass on blackface, and so has to do as he’s told.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        This

      • Idle Hands

        he was actually the guy in the klans hood. We know this because he paid someone to use software to do a facial recognition scan of the blackface fellow.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I know at least one person who went to VMI with him. To say he’s displeased is a minor understatement.

      • Chipwooder

        Yep. My b-i-l is a lobbyist who has worked in VA politics for almost 20 years. For the last several years he’s always gone on about how it’s so hard to actually hate Northam because he’s such a nice guy in person. In the interests of family harmony, I have not broached the subject in a while, but….yeah.

        Exhibit A of how there is no such thing as a moderate Democrat officeholder.

      • The Hyperbole

        They are known as Republican Ohio Governors.

      • Cancelled

        I wish you were lying, but you aren’t.

    • Idle Hands

      the man was photographed in an klans hood in college, caught corona and reporters listen to him lecture them about donald trump about bigotry and catching the corona virus is peak 2020.

      • Idle Hands

        we are living in a bad snl skit.

      • Bobarian LMD

        “Bad” is redundant.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Related, there’s going to be even more white suprematists if the racialization continues. Seeing lawn signs of “Its alright to be white”, including one down the block from my house that appeared today.

      • zwak

        HA! Living in the shadow of Oregon universities, I was surprised when I saw a Gladsden flag in the ‘hood. I can’t imagine how that “its OK…” would go over.

      • Gustave Lytton

        There’s one alongside 99 south of JC.

  13. creech

    I wonder if the Hat and Hair have started working on their resumes yet? What kind of jobs will they be seeking after January? Kayleigh can probably get a job anywhere (my pince nez factory has a nice position to fill, and I’m sure all you monocle guys can accommodate her talents.) It will be interesting to see what characters follow BidenhertimeHarris into the White House.

    • Sean

      It will be interesting to see what characters follow BidenhertimeHarris into the White House.

      Not in this timeline.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Oh I like BidenhertimeHarris….thats neat

    • zwak

      Wait, you think Bidensteleprompter can win?

  14. Rebel Scum

    They really need to just go ahead and hold the committee vote. Everyone is saying the same shit on a daily basis. We all know how everyone is going to vote anyway. Hold the vote and send the issue to the floor.

  15. AlexinCT

    If you doubt this is an existential battle we are in, Check this out

    • Ownbestenemy

      There are few things I will drag my teens into regarding modern politics and the cat fighting, but this one they needed to see. I gave context that a few days ago they were muddying the waters with the term “court packing” or “packing the court” and no one called them out except small circles. Then, on the same day there is outrage about a term, a dictionary site changes to meet the narrative they want.

      They needed to see just what they are up against as they prepare to go out in the world and realize that what you say today, will be wrongthink tomorrow if they want it to be.

    • Rebel Scum

      George Orwell, you are wanted at the white courtesy phone!

    • WTF

      That’s just straight-up propagandizing for the Democrats.
      Pure evil.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Welcome to the postmodern English departments.

      • Ownbestenemy

        When I showed that to my kids last night, they recognized it immediately. They experience this level of dishonesty daily in their classrooms where terms and phrases are what ever they need to be for the day.

    • R C Dean

      Less than a month ago, The Advocate used the term “sexual preference”.

      The Advocate being the premier gay activist publication, of course.

      Less than a month ago.

      Orwell couldn’t have dreamed that it would be this bad, or this blatant.

    • Idle Hands

      1984 was an instruction manual.

      • Rhywun

        1984 has been retconned to not have happened.

    • R C Dean

      A shame Barrett apologized, too. I wouldn’t expect her to know off the top of her head that the term was in widespread use by Dems and gay activists until she said it, but something other than an apology would have been preferable.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Yeah I had my fictional response from last night thread that I will bring forward

        “You know that it isn’t outdated. It might have been on the way out of our lexicon of ever changing meaning, but certainly wasn’t some throwback language from the 50’s or 60’s. If it will make you all feel warm and fuzzy inside I will say sexual orientation, but I will not apologize for using a term that was used up to September of 2020.”

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        This is the new religious order and the SJWs are our new priests.

        You will not question their truth, for it is received knowledge from the least privileged of victims.

        We will not forgive the microaggressor when he offends us, for that is the will of the diversity administrator.

    • invisible finger

      Webster’s probably considers Humpty Dumpty white supremacist agitprop now.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Digital Underground hit hardest.

    • Ownbestenemy

      This is why the lightening fast swap of meaning of “packing the court” was important. That is why you don’t shrug your shoulders and write it off as “no one probably knows what it means anyway”.

    • Rhywun

      offensive in its implied suggestion that a person can choose who they are sexually or romantically attracted to

      That doesn’t even make sense on their own terms.

      “Sorry, Daniel Dae Kim, I didn’t choose to be attracted to you. I was born that way.”

    • grrizzly

      It’s been non-PC to say “sexual preference” instead of “sexual orientation” for a long time. I mean 15-20 years. But it’s remarkable that the “controversy” is related to G and L rather than T. So quaint.

  16. WTF

    “The felcher crowns the Fag Queen by vomiting all the shit and lube and gay cum in his stomach all of over the Fag Queen. Just drenches him. Felchkakke!”

    Fucking Hell! I knew I shouldn’t have eaten lunch before reading SugarFree!

  17. EvilSheldon

    I figured that felchkakke was when you shit a bunch of lubed-up hamsters all over your partner’s face. But I’m not really all that up on the modern lingo.

    • Rhywun

      Oh my God.

      • EvilSheldon

        If God is everywhere, he’s in the sex dungeon…

  18. Ownbestenemy

    Oh and I am glad I ate prior to this and had enough time that it has stayed down.

  19. leon

    This was like a Hockey stick of insanity. Low level, Low level, almost heartwarming. Then BAM.

  20. R C Dean

    Can’t pick a favorite line. A stellar outing, SugarFree.

  21. Rebel Scum

    Special K: The president attacks the media with his Twitter account…

    And now she is being sanctimonious about a “free press” because Orange Man Bad.

    • leon

      It’s like how he prosecutes the media under the espionage act.

      • Rebel Scum

        That’s what makes my blood boil about the accusations. It is total bullshit, especially compared to the Obama admin.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Just recognize that the accusations are really against an outsider of their pretty little game got picked for a team when he wasn’t supposed to.

      • Lachowsky

        Julian Assange would like a word.

  22. The Late P Brooks

    I think the message is that certainly, I don’t govern under a cloud of intimidation.

    Yeah. Fucking plebs.

    OBEY.

    • R C Dean

      He said, standing in front of the Virginia flag, with a dead ruler laying on the ground and the motto “Thus always with tyrants”.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Tell that to Gold’s Gym owner that you threaten criminal penalties against. I know we are onto instant word and phrase changes now, but I think that looks and speaks like a duck.

    • EvilSheldon

      So where exactly were you on Lobby Day, you simpering little bitch?

  23. SugarFree

    The Hat and The Hair Behind The Scenes DVD Extra:

    Narrator: So just how did you come up with the now-infamous felchkakke episode?

    SugarFree: Well, I wanted to make a bukakke reference in a gay context, and while felching is an activity any sexual orientation that involves a penis can enjoy, it seemed at the time to be one of those improbable (or, at least, exceedingly rare) activities of gay men in the popular imagination.

    Narrator: And for the audience that might be unfamiliar with the term?

    SugarFree: Felching is using your mouth or a straw to consume the contents of the rectum after ejaculation. And bukakke? Well, after the Miley Cyrus Christmas Special, I imagine all of America is familiar with that.

    Narrator: Go on.

    SugarFree: To achieve felchkakke as a believable act I had to work out the mechanics. The contents of a rectum, male or female, after anal sex is, of course, merely santorum, or even a sort of proto-santorum, so I couldn’t simply have successive waves of people shitting cum on a person. And a mouthful of felch, even from multiple donors wouldn’t create a true bukakke-level of facial drenching. That’s when I settled on vomiting to a stomach full of felchings to produce the full effect. Everything else–sorry about this–flowed from that. [chuckles]

    Narrator: Thank you for taking the time to do these.

    SugarFree: It’s a welcome break from the ward, so thank you.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Worst VH-1 special ever.

      • The Other Kevin

        You should see the “Pop up video” version.

      • Idle Hands

        Behind the Musec.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      I just want you guys to know that I’ve never seen SugarFree and George Lucas in the same room together.

      • SugarFree

        All fat white bearded guys look the same to you. You probably think I’m Santa Claus as well.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        No. Get out of here. Santa is Black.

      • Heroic Mulatto

        BELM

      • Bobarian LMD

        Black Egg Lives Matter?

        That was the 6th definition under UD.

      • Idle Hands

        What color is krampus?

      • AlexinCT

        Is he the one that wears the pussy hat?

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I’ve been to parties at house of the owner of the largest black Santa figurine collection west of the Mississippi. The guy is really awesome, definitely not somebody you’d espect to collect figurines.

      • AlexinCT

        I would get better Christmas presents if Santa was black man…

      • Mad Scientist

        More like Santa Claws.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Hmmm. I need to check to see if any edits to classic episodes of H&H were made in the last year…

      • mexican sharpshooter

        Good news everyone! Chris Christie in a gladiator diaper is still there!

      • Idle Hands

        George Lucas wishes he was half as creative as Sugar Free. In fact the Ewoks were a ripoff of a draft of a steve smith’s adventure that sugar free threw in the trashcan outside of the studio.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      The contents of a rectum, male or female, after anal sex is, of course, merely santorum, or even a sort of proto-santorum,

      You didn’t really have to bring up that asshole, did you?

    • Apples and Knives

      I actually made it this far without knowing what ‘felch’ meant. I had something in my imagination that was disgusting enough to keep me from investigating, and yet, not as disgusting as the truth.

      I’ll make a mental note to avoid Miley Cyrus more than I already do.

  24. DEG

    “Every gay orgy has one. Trust me. I saw it on USENET. Anyway, when that guy, the felch guy, is full, the gay orgy is over and then comes time to crown the Fag Queen of the Orgy, the guy who took the most men up his ass.”

    Let me guess, he saw it on alt.conspiracy?

    • Bobarian LMD

      You mean on his home page?

      • DEG

        No, alt.conspiracy.

        It was a pretty wacked out newsgroup.

      • juris imprudent

        I raise you, talk.bizarre.

      • DEG

        Ho boy…

      • Bobarian LMD

        Toe May Toe
        Toe Mah Toe

    • mexican sharpshooter

      Hmm… its like a cross between Mazda Miata and Jaguar F-Type

      • Heroic Mulatto

        Not that outlandish of an idea. Did you see that Car Throttle video where they put a Jag engine in a Miata?

      • kinnath

        I really like my 350Z. I think they screwed up the styling with the 370Z.

        So, I like the clean new lines on the prototype.

      • Bobarian LMD

        They’re breaking convention with this version, as it will not have a 4 liter engine.

        (all previous Zs were numbered based on their displacement…)

        This is a 3.0, supposedly.

      • kinnath

        Yes. That annoys me greatly.

      • Trolleric the Goth

        should have just called it the 300ZX again! it’s perfect!

        3.0, twin turbo

      • Drake

        My ’99 Maxima had a 3.0 (and a manual 5-spd) and that car was a rocket.

      • Trolleric the Goth

        this might convince me to upgrade mine at some point, although it took me awhile to find a clean HR car…

        the 370Z was hideous to me when it first came out, but the refreshes have made it grow on me a lot.

      • R C Dean

        I’ve always liked the Z cars. And they are surprisingly affordable.

        The slicked out lines on the new one are very nice.

        I’ve been a “no replacement for displacement” guy, but with turbos and whatnot I guess those days are past.

      • kinnath

        Were surprisingly affordable. The 2020 370Z base model is 30K.

        From what I’ve read, the 400Z will start at 40K or more.

      • R C Dean

        Dude, these days, that’s affordable for a new car.

      • kinnath

        https://www.motortrend.com/news/cheap-speed-400-500-hp-from-the-showroom-floor/

        2020 Audi S6 | $74,895
        2020 BMW M2 Competition | $59,895
        2020 Chevrolet Corvette C8 | $59,995
        2020 Chevrolet Camaro LT1 | $34,995
        2020 Chevrolet Silverado Trail Boss 6.2 | $43,965
        2020 Dodge Charger R/T Scat Pack | $41,990
        2020 Dodge Durango SRT | $64,490
        2020 Ford F-150 Raptor | $55,150
        2020 Ford Mustang GT | $36,825
        2020 Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT | $70,390
        2020 Lexus RC F | $66,950
        2020 Infiniti Q50 Red Sport 400 | $55,275
        2020 Mercedes-AMG C63 | $69,095
        2020 Ram 2500 Tradesman 6.4 | $34,740
        2020 Tesla Model 3 Performance | $61,100
        2020 Volvo V60 T8 Polestar Engineered | $68,295

        OK, you win.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        *sigh*

      • R C Dean

        Again.

        I win, again.

      • kinnath

        https://www.roadandtrack.com/new-cars/future-cars/a32670614/2022-nissan-z-specs-price-info/#:~:text=Its%20Twin%2DTurbo%20V%2D6,power%20to%20the%20rear%20wheels.

        ITS TWIN-TURBO V-6 SHOULD MAKE AROUND 400 HP
        The new Z will be powered by a version of Infiniti’s 3.0-liter twin-turbo V-6, sending power to the rear wheels. Nissan hasn’t release specs or performance numbers yet, saying only that it’ll be more powerful than the current 370Z’s 332-horsepower 3.7-liter naturally aspirated V-6.

        We suspect the car will use the 400-horsepower version currently found in the Infiniti Q50 and Q60 Red Sport 400.

        So the 400Z will host the power plant from the $55K Infiniti Q50 Red Sport 400.

      • mexican sharpshooter

        So, I like the clean new lines on the prototype.

        I’m not complaining.

  25. Ownbestenemy

    Anyone hear her answer on the 9th amendment that Sasse asked?

    Sasse now asks Barrett to explain the Ninth Amendment about individual rights being preserved.

    • leon

      No. What did she say?

      • Ownbestenemy

        That is what I am trying to find out.

    • Gustave Lytton

      Thank you and and the other Glibs. It is very much appreciated.

      It’s been weighing on my mind a lot. Part of me says let her deal with it. The problem is she’ll dig a bigger hole. Like the what seems to be unauthorized use/theft of a vehicle. Elderly lady, no criminal history- even if she got arrested, she’d get a slap on the wrist and cut free, as long as the courts and attorneys get their cut.

      Other than her craziness antics, she’s quite pleasant and nice. Which makes it more difficult to deal with. Almost be easier if she was loony bin crazy. And there’s my brother, who i don’t want to get slammed with the full burden either, because he’s physically closer.

      • DEG

        Best wishes

  26. mrfamous

    My favorite so far. I laughed, I cried…

    • Drake

      …I retched.

  27. Heroic Mulatto

    Chinese President Xi Jinping tells troops to focus on ‘preparing for war’

    In a speech to the RAND Corporation on September 16, US Secretary of Defense Mark Esper said China “cannot match the United States” in terms of naval power and labeled Beijing a “malign influence.”
    “(China and Russia) are using predatory economics, political subversion, and military force in an attempt to shift the balance of power in their favor, and often at the expense of others,” he told the audience.

    • Urthona

      Sounds legit.

      • R C Dean

        I’ve been reading some scenarios on a Chinese invasion of Taiwan. Assuming Taiwan doesn’t have nukes (which apparently is far from certain), the Chinese are likely to get pretty chewed up, and that was assuming the US Navy doesn’t weigh in. Sounded like Taiwan has turned itself into Switzerland in the South China Sea.

      • AlexinCT

        Two countries were suspected of financing and benefitting from the South African nuke efforts… Taiwan is one of them IMO…

  28. Mad Scientist

    “Snuggle time is sacred,”

    I giggled so much my wife came to ask what was so funny.

    • Bobarian LMD

      Did… did you show her?

      And is she packing?

      • Mad Scientist

        My wife has met SugarFree in person and adores him. I still can’t decide if I should feel relieved by this or very, very alarmed.

  29. Ownbestenemy

    I always think, am I posting something crude or rude and then Wednesdays come around and remind me…no I am not.

  30. "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

    https://twitter.com/Jorgensen4POTUS/status/1316226765342339073

    “Jo Jorgensen
    @Jorgensen4POTUS
    We have been made aware that
    @Twitter
    is suspending Libertarian accounts, including the Chair of the LP of Kentucky, tonight! If you or someone you know has had this happen, please have them follow official Twitter channels to attempt to get their account restored…”

    I guess “fReEdOm oF aSsOcIAtIoN” is bad this week. This will change, when the principals change again. How in God’s name did the LP become less principled than the two major parties?

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Same way John Roberts did. They just want to be liked by all, and thus end up hated by everyone.

    • tarran

      Uhmmm – using Twitter’s procedures to appeal a suspension in no way violates freedom of association.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        How about suing the electoral debate commission?

      • tarran

        Oh yes, that was bullshit.

        I happen to agree with your thesis that the LP has lately shown itself to be far out of whack with libertarian orthodoxy.

      • Cancelled

        libertarian orthodoxy

        That phrase would be why I am not refering to myself as libertarian anymore. I want:

        My loved ones to have liberty and opportunity
        Myself to have liberty and opportunity
        My countrymen to have liberty and opportunity
        The world to have liberty and opportunity

        In that order of priority, with the 4th item lagging far behind in terms of my degree of concern. Libertarianism has nothing to do with securing liberty; it is all about silly arguments about purity, usually degenerating into fairly silly ad hominem attacks accusing the other party of ‘inconsistency’ or impurity.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        How about suing the electoral debate commission?

      • kbolino

        The CPD has shifted the criteria often enough that I think a claim of tortious discrimination can be made. It’s a moving goalpost. That having been said, I do not necessarily believe the claim should prevail, as that would depend on the reasons for the changes.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        So you don’t get “freedom of association” unless you’re consistent? Then the LP doesn’t deserve freedom of association by that logic.

      • kbolino

        Freedom of association does not absolve you of adhering to your own promises.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        What? Couldn’t that exact same argument be used in defense of repealing section 230?

        You guys need to workshop these arguments. This is somewhat circular logic, no? Maybe I’m wrong

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I guess <a href="https://independentpoliticalreport.com/2020/08/jorgensen-praises-companys-firing-of-employee-posting-all-lives-matter-on-personal-facebook/&quot; title="the company said ‘OK, we don’t tolerate that.’” target=”_blank”>the company said ‘OK, we don’t tolerate that.’

        When ramifications hit others for their speech on social medua, it’s a good thing. When it’s her ox (or political party) being gored, it’s a rally the troops moment.

        The blatant flip of fortunes for Jo makes me smile.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        Maybe Jo should spout more left-wing clap trap. I’m sure they’ll come for her last.

        This is exactly what the LP believes now and that’s why no one gives a shit that they are getting fucked.

      • kbolino

        Couldn’t that exact same argument be used in defense of repealing section 230?

        I think you could make the claim that Section 230 has not served a beneficial purpose, at least insofar as the end result has been anything but “decency”. I don’t see how adhering to one’s own promises is relevant there, at least as far as the Terms of Service is concerned.

        As you might expect of a contract of adhesion between a massive company and a single individual, Twitter’s Terms of Service reserve damn near all rights for the company and leave very little discretion in the hands of the user apart from taking or leaving it.

        Yes, they should be held to their own promises, and I think we should entertain the argument that off the cuff remarks constitute informal promises, but in terms of their formal promises they reserve the right to damn near whatever they want and, as far as I can tell, that attitude is in complicate the applicable laws of the United States.

      • AlexinCT

        Fuck section 230. At this point they should charge Google, Twitter, FaceCunte, and any of these other woke entities silencing those pointing out how corrupt team blue is, with campaign law violation for not declaring in kind contributions to the democratic party. Fine them a few billions and see how that shit stops immediately.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        with campaign law violation for not declaring in kind contributions to the democratic party

        Now that would be interesting.

      • AlexinCT

        It would certainly be accurate and very easy to prove in court at this point.

      • kbolino

        Exactly. Even going to the courts over a terms of service dispute doesn’t violate it, as long as your argument is “they’re not following the rules they laid out”. There’s no force here.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        Weird how this was never the position on Section 230 and whether they are a publisher or not.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        There is no way around this, the LP has been unbelievably inconsistent on this going from “bake the cake” to “unlimited freedom of association”, but only for large multinationals. Now that’s it’s turned back on them, suddenly they’re concerned.

        It’s pretty simple- censorship is bad. If they had ever said that in relation to all this they might have a leg to stand on, as it is, they deserve to be mocked.

      • kbolino

        Not only does Section 230 not do what I think you think it does, it actually encourages platforms to censor. Section 230(c)(2)(A) says no civil liability for “good faith” censorship.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        I’m noting your inability to argue consistently.

        You say it’s OK to get upset because they’re violating their terms of service and yet the exact same argument can be made for repealing section 230, as they are violating the provision of the section.

        I’m not calling for repealing 230- I’m noting that your argument is lacking

      • kbolino

        In order for my argument to be inconsistent, it has to result in a paradox on its own terms. If my argument plus your assumptions creates a paradox, that is a failure of us to communicate with each other, not a failure of the argument itself.

        Twitter has not violated Section 230. Maybe Section 230 should be repealed, that is not the topic at hand; what is the topic at hand, at least insofar as you brought it up, is that Section 230 does not protect speech, it protects platforms. That protection furthermore extends explicitly to those platforms engaging in censorship. Despite the EFF’s propaganda, the other half of Section 230 is directly in line with the name of the bill that created it: the Communications Decency Act. If anything, the EFF-friendly half of Section 230 is a tacked-on amendment created as a necessary compromise to make the CDA easier to swallow for some of the legislators who enacted it. The purpose of the CDA was to encourage censorship on the Internet. Not only does the fact that Twitter engages in selective censorship not remove its safe harbor for user-generated content, it explicitly falls into another safe harbor for “good faith” censorship.

        Now, we could argue at nauseum as to whether Twitter’s censorship is “good faith” or not, and I’d certainly entertain the notion that it most certainly isn’t done in “good faith”. But the courts are not likely to agree, absent some very damning evidence straight from the horse’s mouth. The place to slam the LP here is on taking the establishment’s side, not on some alleged hypocrisy over a misinterpretation of the CDA.

      • R C Dean

        Twitter has not violated Section 230.

        As you note, there’s a real issue with whether blocking content primarily from non-leftists as objectionable or offensive, while not doing the same with content from leftists which I believe, by any objective standard, is worse, can be “good faith”.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        Just today they are censoring a NY Post story about e-mails from Biden’s son that concerns allegations of nepotism. I think it’s fanciful to pretend as if these social media companies aren’t biased at this point. I think you have to suspend reality to reach that conclusion now.

        Nonetheless, your point is well taken.

        All I am saying is that if the argument is that Facebook is violating its terms of service by banning these accounts that that is the exact same argument used for repealing section 230 (they are operating as a publisher and not a platform). The argument that Facebook and Twitter operate as publishers rather than platforms is 100% true as they are censoring news stories just today alone.

        I can’t help but think that the LP brought this entirely on themselves. We went from “bake the cake” to “freedom of association just for large multinational companies” awfully fast. It’s not like people didn’t notice and that’s why no one cares about what’s happening to Jo and the LP. Even if they had just once expressed the simple (and at one time prevalent view among Libertarians) that “censorship is bad”.

      • kbolino

        To be honest, I don’t know how you can maintain any semblance of Section 230 as we currently know it, while also requiring no bias in the exercise of the discretion behind legally encouraged censorship, without essentially recreating the Fairness Doctrine and the mess it entailed.

        I think the best that can be hoped for is to force Twitter to own up to having a left-leaning bias. They can rationalize it however they want, but currently they pretend before Congress to be neutral while the law in actual fact requires no such thing. They will enjoy the Section 230 protections even if they are as left as can be; nobody says Democratic Underground has to keep up posts from the opposition because Section 230, but they are also openly partisan. Twitter’s Jon Stewart act grows ever more annoying; one minute, the clown nose is on, and they want open debate, the next minute, the clown nose is off, and they get to censor or label or detrend or otherwise play games with content they politically disfavor.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        one minute, the clown nose is on, and they want open debate, the next minute, the clown nose is off, and they get to censor or label or detrend or otherwise play games with content they politically disfavor.

        This is textbook fraudulent advertising. Wouldnt be hard to put together a straight faced case for fraud charges

    • Rebel Scum

      We have been made aware that
      @Twitter is suspending Libertarian accounts

      So her account will be fine then.

      • Ownbestenemy

        BURN!!!

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        She said “Libertarian”, not “libertarian”. She will be banned. They’re banning everyone who isn’t pimping Biden now.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Everywhere is doing it. I used to belong to a local Nextdoor Debate/Discussion group. 1 year ago, it was a free flowing place of ideas, counter-ideas, etc but suddenly the group owner has now been expunging anyone who isn’t in lock-step with Biden. I liked it there because it wasn’t here, where I pretty much align closely with most of us. There I could get other ideas, challenge theirs while they do the same to mine.

        He didn’t like it when I called him out on it and claimed I was being a bully and just one of those Trump guys. Which is funny because most of my discussions were against a lot of Trump ideas.

        Screw em all. They got their echo chamber and they can all stand around the biscuit greedily hoping they win the prize.

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

      “First they came for the antiwar people on the Left and I wanted to be fashionable so I screamed ‘freedom of association’! Then they came for the boogaloo bois and I only read the New York Times and they said boogaloo bois are bad so I screamed ‘freedom of association’! Then they censored the President and I wanted my white liberal neighbors to know I was a good person so I screamed ‘freedom of association- Orange Man Bad’! Then they censored me and I screamed ‘censorship’!”

      • Fatty Bolger

        Yes, trying to appeal to the most anti-libertarian aspect of the left was pretty fucking stupid.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        I don’t mourn those who get what they ask for. There is no doubt that Jo and the LP are getting what they long cheer leaded.

        But, Jo is not a bad candidate. Her messaging is retarded, but she is leaps and bounds better than Gay Jay. So many people have written her off though with all the preening virtue signaling that I’m not surprised that almost no one cares about this.

      • leon

        It kinda makes me sad. But i don’t think i can vote for Jo. The LP has made it clear that it doesn’t want my vote. Why should i throw my vote away after someone who doesn’t want my vote.

        Jo may be a great candidate, better than Gary, but this is more about the LP. She hired LP insiders, and they are actively sabotaging her campaign.

        I don’t know if it is to Spite me or Her, since she was the “Least” favorite of the acceptabel candidates to the establishment when she got the nomination.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        The LP needs to die and they’re on their way. They still haven’t figured out that there is no market for watered down progressivism. So the current LP doesn’t even understand how markets work.

      • kbolino

        For some reason I cannot fathom, the LP honchos watched the implosion of the Liberal Democrat Party’s fifteen minutes of fame in the UK and decided I really want to get in on that.

      • Fatty Bolger

        No, she’s not a bad candidate, pretty good as LP candidates go, actually. I could vote for her, but won’t. The LP hasn’t earned my vote at a national level. If they want my support, they need to focus on making some inroads at the local level.

  31. Rebel Scum

    Well there is the controversy for today’s hearing. Barrett’s mic just went out.

    • Rebel Scum

      Actually it looks like all of them did.

      • Sean

        Divine intervention.

      • leon

        It’s like whoever cut the wire so that VA couldn’t register voters on the last day!

      • kinnath

        An improvement I assume.

      • Rebel Scum

        Considering it was Blumenthals’s turn.

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

      By definition, a “conservative” is “blue pilled”.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        This is where I disagree with Malice- if you were “red pilled” you would no longer be a “conservative” or a “progressive”, because you would have realized that both groups serve the system and nothing more.

      • Cancelled

        As opposed to the libertarians who engage in a lengthy argument about whether the pill is a safe mind altering drug or a dangerous vaccine, lose focus and end up arguing that the social compact is a lie and all government is illegitimate and therefore equally evil. Fighting the power!

  32. commodious spittoon

    One meth binge away from rent boys and felchkakke.”

    OFFS.

    • commodious spittoon

      OFFS YOU EXPLAINED IT.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Yeah..that is what I need. That is serene.

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        and totally alone, except for Deadmau5 on the earbuds and a few beers, very Zen

    • DEG

      Nice!

      • Yusef drives a Kia

        Our plant shut down do to Covid until Tuesday, Guilt free Golf!

  33. juris imprudent

    I just kiss men at my rallies. Nothing gay about that.

    I was expecting a Brochettaward ruling on this. Apparently he’s still in his bunk.

    Also SF, the USENET reference was beautiful. Reminded me a little of the denouement in Constantine with Satan and Gabriel and Satan says “I do miss the old names”.

  34. leon

    Apparently there is a new Quipinac Poll that has Joe Biden +7 against Trump in Georgia. Everyone is cheering this, even though it is way out of line with other polls that have been released (another one today puts him at +2 which is much more in line with recent georgia polling).

    The Idea that Joe Biden could pull +7 in a state Obama lost to Romney by 7 points is ridiculous on its face.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      It just reaffirms to me that all the current polling is bullshit.

      At least I hope so.

      • leon

        Lots of it does seem to be bullshit. But i guess we’ll know for sure in 3 weeks.

        I think Georgia Goes for Trump.

      • R C Dean

        But i guess we’ll know for sure in 3 weeks months.

        Unless there is a Biden landslide. Any Trump victory won’t be final until SCOTUS rules.

      • leon

        If there isn’t a Biden landslide, then we’ll know the polls are bullshit, because they have been predicting things like Georgia +7 for Biden, and Biden +10 nationally.

    • Rebel Scum

      Joe Biden +7 against Trump in Georgia

      Sure…

  35. Rebel Scum

    Barrett is going to send all the homo’s and lesies to camp. It is known.

    I’ll repeat, Blumenthal is such a cunte.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      He’s a lying sack of shit.

      That his constituents haven’t sent him packing for blatant lies about his military record is depressing.

    • Drake

      It will be the happiest gayest camp ever!

  36. Rebel Scum

    Renounce your Catholicism and bow to my church of climate change! – Blum

    • leon

      The Pope already did so…

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        *golf clap*

    • AlexinCT

      They have a legit reason they claim…

      They want to wait till they fact check it…

      Which will happen right after the election has been decided in favor of team blue according to them…

      • R C Dean

        They want to wait till they fact check it…

        One wonders how withholding for fact checking stories that harm Team Blue, but not the same for stories that harm Team Red, is “good faith”.

        The safe harbor reads:

        No provider or user of an interactive computer service shall be held liable on account of—

        (A)any action voluntarily taken in good faith to restrict access to or availability of material that the provider or user considers to be obscene, lewd, lascivious, filthy, excessively violent, harassing, or otherwise objectionable, whether or not such material is constitutionally protected; or

        I don’t see how the story about Biden Jr’s shenanigans falls into this safe harbor. Of course, that begs the question of “liable to who, and for what” when they restrict it.

      • Cancelled

        he provider or user considers to be…or otherwise objectionable, whether or not such material is constitutionally protected;

        Much as we want it to be actionable, the law was drafted to allow the broadest discretion to the tech company.

      • R C Dean

        Well, within the limits of good faith, yes.

        Defining (and winning in court) on good faith is a steep hill to climb.

    • Rebel Scum

      Something something publisher…

      This and Merriam…I suspect Google will go all in shortly if they haven’t already. They are actively trying to manipulate the election while Dems are spouting ‘muh-Russia’ fever-dreams.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      Generally speaking, the kind of people that take jobs as the in-house censors at Facebook and Twitter are the least trustworthy people around. Nobody wants that job other than the politically motivated who think they can exert their will over others.

      The Democrats have been way ahead of this curve. They saw the opportunity and leapt at it. There’s been a lot of rotating personnel between the social media companies and various Democratic campaigns for years now.

      FFS, Eric Schmidt, CEO of Google, was on Clinton’s campaign advisory panel.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        It’s pervasive and deeply embedded in these companies. At the top, it’s a smaller circle than you’d think, and they’re all silicon valley progs.

        Back in 2011, Facebook HQ was all decked out in pride decorations when I visited. When I visited again in 2013 they were putting the mechanisms together that evolved into all this automated censorship bullshit.

        If you walk down the street in San Jose or sit on the main strip in Palo Alto or catch the BART in Mountainview, you hear it everywhere. Leftism is what they talk about when they’re not talking about venture capital.

      • kbolino

        There’s two kinds of cynics, those who see the fallen world and wizen up to it, and those who see the fallen world and find its opportunities enticing. While part of the left was decrying the increasing power and influence of tech companies, the other half was getting in on the ground floor.

    • leon

      The amount of “Good” and “thanks twitter” replies…

      Obviously a report that looks bad about Biden is pure lies. But did you hear that Trump called dead soldiers suckers?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Look man, the article doesn’t use sources familiar with the former VP’s thinking. There’s no way it’s legit.

      • Charlie Suet

        There’s a kind of lack of similar action being taken in the opposite direction, certainly. If Facebook and Twitter had any sense they’d throw a lefty / prominent anti-Trump story under the bus to show how “fair” they are.

        But at this stage I think they genuinely believe they’re the good guys, that no one can disagree with them intellectually and that they’re going to be permanently in charge any day now.

      • Gustave Lytton

        Or trumps stolen tax records.

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

      Spoiler: It’s true and they locked the NY Post’s Twitter account

      Didn’t we have a four year freak out over Facebook memes? How is this not election interference by that mentally deficient standard?

      • kbolino

        There are so many stolen bases with the latest definitions of “election interference”, “court packing”, “voter suppression”, etc. that no one can keep up anymore. I think that’s the point. Accuse the enemy of what you’re planning to do, get the courtiers to run interference, and then carry out the strategy you just telegraphed, with such audacity that none can seriously question it.

      • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

        Let me just add that I don’t believe this is election interference anymore than Facebook memes. I’m just applying existing standards.

        But, yeah, the vocabulary has become a game of Calvinball. Absolutely nuts. Both sides do it, but only one side gets their talking points amplified by the corporate press.

  37. creech

    Trump’s comment at a rally about “I saved the suburbs” looks like a real swing and miss here in Philly suburbs. My GOP insider reports their local focus group was about 4 to 1 in agreement that it didn’t help Trump at all. Last internal poll (Monday) showed Biden up by 10% in Chester County. Hillary was up 5% at this point in 2016 and ended up winning by almost 4%. The number of Pennsylvanians asking for mail ballots is approaching 3 million. If just 1% are harvested by the Dems, that would be 2/3 of Trump’s winning margin in 2016. Local GOP is decoupling from Trump campaign and focusing on holding the few remaining State House seats.
    If those go Dem, guess which party gets to redistrict based on 2020 census and possibly runs the Keystone State for the next decade? If there’s an “October Surprise” waiting in Trump’s back pocket, he better get it out right now or he is, I predict, going to lose this so biggly on Nov.3rd you won’t have to wait for recounts and courts.

    • "Tulsi Gabbard Apologist"

      The “I saved the suburbs” made no sense. The problem for Trump is that suburbanites are nothing more than fashionistas. They are always “keeping up with the Jones”. It’s very fashionable to vote Biden. Not fashionable at all to vote Trump. There’s nothing he can do to win those people. You can’t virtue signal off of a Trump vote.

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      If there’s an “October Surprise” waiting in Trump’s back pocket, he better get it out right now

      I’ve seen 3, none of which have gotten any traction in TMITE

  38. Mojeaux the Malevolent

    Plumbing leak fixed for $100. That’s why you have to have A Guy™.

    • Mad Scientist

      If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire A Guy™.

      • Bobarian LMD

        He’ll come fix it with a black van and a magically powered Mini-14?

      • Mojeaux the Malevolent

        Hi, I’m Murdoch’s niece and I’ve come to take him to the ice cream parlor.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Thats great news Mo. Glad it wasnt more and yes..having a guy for that always helps