Wednesday Afternoon SugarLinks – Coddle Biden edition

by | Oct 14, 2020 | Daily Links | 341 comments

It’s SuperJack to the rescue! “No October Surprise on my watch!” vows SuperJack.

How can they suppress this story?!? Hunter literally fell asleep with a crack pipe in his mouth!

 


 

Disappointing day of Amy Coney Barrett news. Seems like no one has been brave enough to ask her about going to an all-girls Catholic school. You know she lezzed-out. They all lez-out. That’s what PornHub told me and if you can’t trust PornHub, what can you trust in these sad times?

The microphones keep going out, which is obviously proof of [insert any random conspiracy theory].

Microphones cut out for second time at Barrett hearing, Graham: ‘Are we not paying the bills?’


Jezebel whines:

Stop Sharing Cardi B’s Nude Photo

As if the fact that this photo was being widely shared wasn’t bad enough, some internet commenters decided to criticize the photos, scrutinizing her areolas to the point that Cardi responded to a question about them on Instagram. In response, her fans started the Twitter hashtag #BoobsOutForCardi, sharing photos of their own chests in solidarity with the rapper.

For those who haven’t braved a peek yet, imagine an areola stretch past all sane tolerances, like a hide being scrapped before tanning, the edges horrifically crenelated. Now cross that with a screaming face and an inverted bombing site.

(The screaming face is yours.)


 

About The Author

SugarFree

SugarFree

Your Resident Narcissistic Misogynist Rape-Culture Apologist

341 Comments

  1. Count Potato

    “Hunter literally fell asleep with a crack pipe in his mouth!”

    Impressive.

    • SugarFree

      Like David Crosby managing to be a coke addict and remaining fat as shit.

      • Count Potato

        Artie Lang got talent.

      • EvilSheldon

        I’d hate to think that Hunter Biden was named after Hunter S. Thompson, but they certainly seem to share similar appetites…

    • Sean

      Who took the photo?

      • SugarFree

        The other crack pipe.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        Trump stooges, obviously

      • leon

        John Podesta

    • mexican sharpshooter

      I’d have drawn a penis on his forehead, then took the photo.

  2. SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

    TMITE and SMITE. I don’t know why people patronize companies who openly hate them.

    • kinnath

      So I have to ask: SMITE?

      • Cancelled

        What YHVH types in the console to smash baddies.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        social media is the enemy

        Sorry, thought it was clear from the context

      • kinnath

        I’d seen it before, but drew a complete blank today.

      • prolefeed

        Starts with “some”?

      • prolefeed

        Based on at least one member of the media trying to report relevant facts that don’t fit The Narrative.

      • peachy rex

        Sauropodian masturbators initial their ejaculate?

      • EvilSheldon

        Stroke My Impala’s Turgid Erection
        Saint Michael Inebriated To Excess
        Some Men, Indeed, Take Excedrin

        Can you tell that I love this game?

      • peachy rex

        Your first one was especially good, I thought – but I obviously have a low sense of humour.

      • pan fried wylie

        Some Men, Indeed, Take Excedrin

        Only the ones with uteratii. Pussies.

  3. Scruffy Nerfherder

    Because I hate myself, I looked up the Cardi B titties.

    I still hate myself.

    • Drake

      @Metoo – and I now have questions.

      • Certified Public Asshat

        How has she kept it a secret for so long? I mean, she wears low cut outfits. It’s all I can think about now. #thanksSF

    • Chafed

      Have you learned nothing after years of SF’s links?

    • Mad Scientist

      I’m not brave enough to search, but I’m brave enough to click, if someone wants to provide a link.

      • grrizzly

        Yes.

      • Mad Scientist

        Fantastic, uh…different!

      • DEG

        She’s not that attractive.

      • Mad Scientist

        You work with what you have. That said, the fake eyelashes and the fake lips are not enhancements.

      • pan fried wylie

        You work with what you have.

        I could have a warm canteloupe with a dollar and a few minutes in the microwave.

      • Rhywun

        Oh my God.

  4. leon

    Microphones cut out for second time at Barrett hearing, Graham: ‘Are we not paying the bills?’

    Well Actually…..

    • Raven Nation

      Graham trying to channel his inner Reagan.

  5. pan fried wylie

    Tejicano on October 14, 2020 at 10:01 am

    I actually have a problem in that I have tried to create an Excel spreadsheet to keep track. But usually in the day or so following I remember that Hi-Power I left with a Marine buddy, or those AK kits & receivers I haven’t finished, and a half-dozen AR lowers with a couple boxes of assorted parts that could build 2 or 3 complete guns, or that safe deposit box in AZ… a fixed quantity gets a bit hard to define.

    Same rule as computers. Can you plug it in and boot it up, then it counts.

    • EvilSheldon

      If you’re at the point of having a box full of partly-completed gun projects, the exact quantity of functional guns in your possession becomes somehow less important…

  6. Count Potato

    “For those who have braved a peek yet, imagine an areola stretch past all sane tolerances, like a hide being scrapped before tanning, the edges horrifically crenelated. Now cross that with a screaming face and an inverted bombing site.”

    “‘I breastfed a baby for three months – nipples got bigger!’ Cardi B hits back at troll for criticising her appearance after she accidentally posted a topless photo during wild birthday festivities”

    https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-8837041/Cardi-B-addresses-topless-pic-accidentally-posted-amid-birthday-festivities.html

    • SugarFree

      Uh, bullshit. You can’t breastfeed if you have implants.

      • prolefeed

        5 seconds on DuckDuckGo:

        Most women with breast implants are able to breastfeed, though there are a few exceptions. Whether you’re able to breastfeed depends on the original state of your breasts before surgery and possibly the type of incision used.

        Breast implants may affect the amount of breast milk you’re able to produce. But in some, milk supply isn’t affected at all.

        You may also worry about the effect breastfeeding will have on your implants. It’s normal for your breasts to change in shape and size during pregnancy and after breastfeeding. Breastfeeding won’t affect your implants, but the size and shape of your breasts overall may be different.

        Read on to learn more about breastfeeding with implants.

        https://www.healthline.com/health/parenting/can-you-breastfeed-with-implants

      • SugarFree

        Well, fuck. OK. Maybe I was thinking of just the ones where they go in through the nipple.

      • pan fried wylie

        They’re probably referring to surgeries without complications.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      I don’t know about you, but I find it really easy to accidentally post pictures of my junk.

      • The Other Kevin

        I’m often naked at my parties, it’s a wonder this hasn’t happened to me.

      • Count Potato

        Start wearing pants to zoom meetings?

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That’s asking too much.

      • Count Potato

        True.

      • Rebel Scum

        “accidentally”

      • Chafed

        Oh yeah. It could happen to anyone.

    • Drake

      While pondering whatever happened there, do not let your gaze drift over to her face.

    • Certified Public Asshat

      I breastfed a baby for three months

      A normal woman could breastfeed for 30 years and still not end up with that.

  7. Rebel Scum

    Hunter literally fell asleep with a crack pipe in his mouth!

    “Fell asleep”.

    That pic would be all over if it was Trump Jr.

  8. grrizzly

    Hunter Biden.

    What difference, at this point, does it make?

    Perhaps with fewer details, wasn’t it all known before Trump‘s impeachment?

    • leon

      It’s a Debunked Conspiracy theory!!!

  9. prolefeed

    Mask strategy via speed + taking words literally:

    Went to the HEB grocery store today, saw a store employee loitering at the entrance, ready to try to enforce the mask mandate.

    Ramped up to a fast walk as I entered, maskless, 4+ MPH.

    Employee: “Do you have a mask, sir?”

    Me (already past him and walking away): “Yup.”

    Employee: * said something unintelligible muffled by his mask and distance *

    • pan fried wylie

      I’m picturing the cartoon guy from Fallout at a jog, hand up, twirling a mask on his finger.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      According to the original article, the FBI has the hard drive. It raises some interesting questions.

      • Drake

        I’ll bet the repair guy who called them made copies first. The FBI exists to hide Democrat scandals these days.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        That’s exactly what happened, supposedly.

        The Dems are claiming that it’s fabricated disinformation. The FBI should have to weigh in now.

      • Drake

        And it all went down because Hunter never paid for or picked up his repaired computer. A real family of geniuses.

      • Chafed

        That’s the part that makes it believable.

      • Rhywun

        lol

      • Apples and Knives

        He was on his way to pick it up but he got a call from “STRIPR U BANGD N ARKSAW” and knew it would be important.

  10. Certified Public Asshat

    For those who have braved a peek yet, imagine an areola stretch past all sane tolerances, like a hide being scrapped before tanning, the edges horrifically crenelated.

    Alright, let’s do it.

    *investigates*

    Holy shit you weren’t kidding.

    • leon

      It’s like they never heard of the Streisand Effect. The 2nd worst thing they could do for Biden was ban the sharing of this.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        They’re going to have a hard time banning all the conservative outlets and pols over this.

        The real question is what does the FBI know? Did they validate the hard drive contents earlier this year and sit on it?

        That would indicate that the FBI is hopelessly politicized and should be dismantled.

    • Ownbestenemy

      Which leads me to wonder…if you are making this high and noble stance of trying to fact-check these articles prior to them being unleashed on the world, where were you guys when the Atlantic wrote their bullshit story? When the Pee-Hooker story broke? On and on.

      Just come out and say – we don’t like the content and we won’t allow it.

      • Drake

        Because we’re a publisher!

        I mean not!

        Whatever, we own Congress at this point.

      • Drake

        Only a publisher would be fact-checking, not a friendly old chat and link site.

    • Mad Scientist

      I’m doubleplus glad to see the Ministry of Truth has installed a memory hole at Twitter HQ.

  11. Rebel Scum

    Hironazi Implied that any Trump appointed justice would need to recuse in the event of an election lawsuit.

    • Rebel Scum
    • prolefeed

      Did she say why, or just make an assertion not backed up by logic?

      • Rebel Scum

        Drumpfler says things on the campaign trail ergo all justices he appoints are there to do his bidding.

  12. DEG

    That’s what PornHub told me and if you can’t trust PornHub, what can you trust in these sad times?

    Right? Right??!?!

    “Are we not paying the bills?’ Asked Lindsey Graham before issuing a short recess.

    You still have checks in the checkbook, right?

    • pan fried wylie

      You still have checks in the checkbook, right?

      No, but I ordered more on the credit card. The good card.

  13. Tres Cool

    “For those who have braved a peek yet, imagine an areola stretch past all sane tolerances, like a hide being scrapped before tanning, the edges horrifically crenelated.”

    Either my desktop was hacked by some Glib, or I drunkenly sent out pics of my babymama.

    The universe sent me so many signals indicating “stay away”….did I listen?

  14. leon

    Who cares about Biden!

    Ice Cube is working with the PRESIDENT!!!

    • pan fried wylie

      Dayyyu…oh, CUBE, never mind.

  15. DEG

    Who could possibly have seen this coming?

    The federal prosecutor appointed by Attorney General William Barr to review whether Obama-era officials improperly requested the identities of individuals whose names were redacted in intelligence documents has completed his work without finding any substantive wrongdoing, according to people familiar with the matter.

    The revelation that U.S. Attorney John Bash, who left the department last week, had concluded his review without criminal charges or any public report will rankle President Donald Trump at a moment when he is particularly upset at the Justice Department. The department has so far declined to release the results of Bash’s work, though people familiar with his findings say they would likely disappoint conservatives who have tried to paint the “unmasking” of names — a common practice in government to help understand classified documents — as a political conspiracy.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      And the GOP will do nothing.

    • leon

      If we absolve ourselves of spying on a presidential campaign, it wasn’t a bad conspiracy. Nixon did it and since he resigned, we know it was bad, but no such thing happened to obama, so it was ok.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        We’re effectively watching a DA whitewash the police’s actions on a federal scale.

    • kbolino

      a common practice in government to help understand classified documents

      The media is factual but not truthful.

      You don’t need to know who U.S. Person 1 is to understand the document.

  16. prolefeed

    The microphones keep going out, which is obviously proof of [insert any random conspiracy theory].

    Govt incompetence would be my go to here.

  17. Count Potato

    “here are the words that have changed meaning in the last week:

    -court-packing: now means “filling a judicial vacancy”
    -originalism: now means “going back to the days when women & POC were 2nd class citizens”
    -sexual preference: now “offensive to gays, lesbians, and bisexuals””

    “the side of the ideological spectrum that decries a president who is fast and loose with his words, admonishing him by saying “words have meaning” now doesn’t care about the meaning of words.”

    https://twitter.com/SirajAHashmi/status/1316245738570108928

    • EvilSheldon

      ‘Now’ doesn’t care?

      Welcome to 2020, sir. Tell me, what’s it like being in a coma for thirty years?

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        ^^

        Also, what does this guy think he’s gonna accomplish with this? As if the scales are going to fall off of somebodys eyes and they’re going to see the light because the leftists are playing the same bad faith game they’ve played for the past decade and a half.

      • prolefeed

        At the margin, this might be the final straw for one or more people already suffering from massive cognitive dissonance.

        Even if that person is the one who posted it.

      • Drake

        Define “is”.

    • Mojeaux the Malevolent

      sexual preference: now “offensive to gays, lesbians, and bisexuals”

      I am told that it is offensive to gay men who are on the receiving end of bitchery about not wanting to fuck transmen.

      “What part of ‘I like penis’ don’t you get?”

      • Count Potato

        Most of that bitchery is directed at lesbians. Androphilic transmen are very rare.

      • peachy rex

        I saw Androphilic Transmen at Lolla in ’15 – they were pretty good before they sold out and went mainstream.

  18. DEG

    Walter Williams on racial deception. Trigger Warning: Lew Rockwell.

    Some years ago, I declared myself a springbok trapped in a human body. A springbok is a highly agile, cute, deer-like animal that resides in southern and southwestern African. Some people suggested that I suffered from a condition known as species dysphoria, in which one thinks he is a wild animal trapped in a human body. Species dysphoria is similar to gender dysphoria, a condition in which a person believes he is a woman trapped in a male body or a man trapped in a female body.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      Walter Williams is a furry: CONFIRMED

      • Cancelled

        Or a rugby player

    • pan fried wylie

      Dems Invite Kid Dressed As Street Orphan To Ask ACB Why She Is Taking Away His Healthcare

      “ACB adopts Orphan in response, real parents sue Democrat Party for child trafficking.”

  19. The Late P Brooks

    Journalistic malpractice

    But there is one big difference: ABC already announced it will be holding a town hall with Biden at the same time on the same night.
    So now NBC is “giving Trump exactly what he wants,” in the words of one exasperated senior staffer: a made-by-TV rivalry between the president and Biden.

    NBC is hearing a chorus of criticism for its scheduling decision — from liberal activists, working journalists, professors, former NBC executives, and even some current NBC Entertainment stars.
    Some staffers inside NBC News and MSNBC are also perturbed by the decision, with some likening it to collusion between the Trump campaign and the network, sources said. No one from the news division has publicly criticized the move.
    The dueling town halls will air Thursday at 8 p.m. Eastern time, on the same night that the Commission on Presidential Debates was originally scheduled to hold a town hall-style debate between Trump and Biden.
    Now, instead, the two men will talk past each other on competing networks.
    “Having dueling town halls is bad for democracy,” former NBC “Today” show star Katie Couric tweeted Wednesday. “Voters should be able to watch both and I don’t think many will. This will be good for Trump because people like to watch his unpredictability. This is a bad decision.”

    Don’t worry. Any announcements about Trump’s show will be blocked by farcebook and twatter, so nobody will watch. Then they can brag about President Cartoon Villain’s crappy ratings because everybody hates him.

    • The Other Kevin

      “NBC is hearing a chorus of criticism for its scheduling decision — from liberal activists, working journalists, professors, former NBC executives, and even some current NBC Entertainment stars.”

      So basically nobody.

      • prolefeed

        So, “hearing both sides in a debate” now means “is bad for democracy” in Newspeak?

        The Dems are literally using “1984” as a how-to manual.

    • kbolino

      “Voters should be able to watch both and I don’t think many will.”

      Brought to you by the same set of smart technocrats who think the Pony Express is the best way to handle an election in an age of globally Interconnected supercomputers that fit in your pocket.

  20. DEG

    Explosion in Tyngsboro, MA

    Howe said in a press release that the device is thought to have been a type of firework. It has been sent to the State Police laboratory for further analysis.

    Howe said police do not believe there is any danger to the general public due to the incident, which resulted in no injuries. He said police have no evidence regarding what may have prompted the incident, but that they continue to investigate.

    Dowdy said he suspects the incident may be related to a Trump sign waving from a tree and a sign supporting law enforcement on the lawn.

    “My Dad is a big Trump supporter,” Matthew Dowdy said, suggesting that the motive for the blast might be his father’s political leanings. “This is not how to act,” he said, objecting to such an approach to politics.

    Reached later on his cellphone, Stephen Dowdy, said, “I don’t have a doubt in my mind that this is why someone did this.”

    “I’ve been hassled since March after I put up the (Trump) sign,” he said.

    He said trash has been dumped on his lawn as well.

    “I’ve lived in this house for 13 years and never had a problem until that sign went up,” he said.

  21. KOVIDKristen

    I don’t gotta dance, I make money moves.

    • Tres Cool

      I really hate that stupid song. The SiriusXM station I often listen to played it like 4X/hour when 1st released.

    • Trolleric the Goth

      my ex girlfriend started listening to Cardi B a lot right about when things were getting terminal in our relationship, so that entire album just reminds me of a shitty time.

    • Scruffy Nerfherder

      They switch between choice and predetermination almost daily. They want to have it both ways. It’s even worse with the 57 genders.

    • Plisade

      Why can’t it be a choice for some and a natural inclination for others? I’ve known women intentionally give up men and start dating women, even though they prefer D.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        it all decomposes down to nature v. nurture, which is one of the more annoying arguments that exists

      • Cancelled

        You only think that because you have a genetic predisposition to find the argument annoying.

      • Plisade

        And thanks to SF I’m now wondering whether felching is natural or nurturing. And how does with or without a straw impact that debate? I need a drink.

      • Cancelled

        I need a drink.

        With a straw or without?

      • Tres Cool

        Funnel if you’re German. Or perhaps Asian.

    • Apples and Knives

      Gender and sexuality are choices that you’re born with.

    • kbolino

      This is why you never apologize, because they will lie about you anyway. Apologize, and you just look like a schmuck.

  22. Rebel Scum

    Barrett: I can’t express a view on policy.

    Booker: So how about this policy?

    • Ed Wuncler

      She has a lot of restraint because if they brought that ACA shit to me, I would go on a tirade of how the perverse incentives of our third party health insurance system, the tax laws that ties employment to being insured, and regulations that has increased the cost of health insurance. And ended with, “If you jerk offs understood the basic rules of economics, you wouldn’t have to worry about the Supreme Court “taking ” away people’s healthcare.

      • Plisade

        “How about you asshoes pass constitutional laws to begin with?!”

      • Mad Scientist

        Or, go through the process and actually amend the constitution instead of counting on the court to uphold your blatantly unconstitutional laws?

      • Cancelled

        Or leave the constitution alone. Most of our Amendments since the BOR have been away from liberty and good governance.

      • Fourscore

        Healthcare in no concern of the government.

  23. KOVIDKristen

    Something I fall for every time:

    Me, to colleague: Signing off, see ya!
    Colleague (every day except Friday): have a good weekend!

    Motherfucker.

    • Chafed

      That was the laugh I needed today.

  24. The Late P Brooks

    Bill Carter: Dueling town halls are a disservice to voters
    Bill Carter: Dueling town halls are a disservice to voters

    Watch: Fox News has some debate advice for Trump
    See how Fox News hosts covered President Trump’s tax returns
    WASHINGTON, DC – SEPTEMBER 04: U.S. President Donald Trump pauses while speaking during a news conference the White House on September 4, 2020 in Washington, DC. President Trump took questions on a variety of topics, including a recent magazine article in The Atlantic accusing him of making disparaging remarks about American soldiers. (Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)
    Stelter: Trump will call this ‘fake news.’ Here’s the truth
    President Donald Trump speaks during a campaign rally at Bemidji Regional Airport, Friday, Sept. 18, 2020, in Bemidji, Minn. (AP Photo/Evan Vucci)
    Trump mocks journalist for getting shot by police with rubber bullet
    Brianna Keilar calls out Fox News guest’s Covid-19 misinformation
    princess bride reunion virtual table read wisconsin democrat reiner elwes nr vpx_00000000
    ‘Princess Bride’ director and star discuss 2020 ‘fire swamp’
    NEW YORK, NY – MARCH 20: The News Corp. building on 6th Avenue, home to Fox News, the New York Post and the Wall Street Journal, on March 20, 2019 in New York City, New York. Disney acquired Fox today in a $71.3 million deal. (Photo by Kevin Hagen/Getty Images)
    How Fox News covered the Woodward recordings of Trump
    This is why political campaigns feel free to lie in TV ads
    Bill Carter: Dueling town halls are a disservice to voters
    CHARLESTON, SOUTH CAROLINA – FEBRUARY 25: Democratic presidential candidate former South Bend, Indiana Mayor Pete Buttigieg arrives on stage for the Democratic presidential primary debate at the Charleston Gaillard Center on February 25, 2020 in Charleston, South Carolina. Seven candidates qualified for the debate, hosted by CBS News and Congressional Black Caucus Institute. (Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images)
    See Pete Buttigieg’s viral Fox News moments
    WASHINGTON, DC – OCTOBER 05: U.S. President Donald Trump stands on the Truman Balcony after returning to the White House from Walter Reed National Military Medical Center on October 05, 2020 in Washington, DC. Trump spent three days hospitalized for coronavirus. (Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images)
    Trump claims immunity, negative test without providing evidence
    Friedman: Trump running a campaign on 2 tracks simultaneously
    Dr. Sanjay Gupta discusses Trump’s coughing on Fox News
    Fox Tucker
    How Fox News and Trump are spinning lethality of Covid-19
    Chris Wallace delivers a blunt warning to Fox News viewers
    Chris Wallace debate
    Chris Wallace says Trump is ‘responsible’ for chaotic debate
    Watch: Fox News has some debate advice for Trump
    See how Fox News hosts covered President Trump’s tax returns
    WASHINGTON, DC – SEPTEMBER 04: U.S. President Donald Trump pauses while speaking during a news conference the White House on September 4, 2020 in Washington, DC. President Trump took questions on a variety of topics, including a recent magazine article in The Atlantic accusing him of making disparaging remarks about American soldiers. (Photo by Drew Angerer/Getty Images)
    Stelter: Trump will call this ‘fake news.’ Here’s the truth
    President Donald Trump speaks during a campaign rally at Bemidji Regional Airport, Friday, Sept. 18, 2020, in Bemidji, Minn. (AP Photo/Evan Vucci)
    Trump mocks journalist for getting shot by police with rubber bullet
    Brianna Keilar calls out Fox News guest’s Covid-19 misinformation
    princess bride reunion virtual table read wisconsin democrat reiner elwes nr vpx_00000000
    ‘Princess Bride’ director and star discuss 2020 ‘fire swamp’
    NEW YORK, NY – MARCH 20: The News Corp. building on 6th Avenue, home to Fox News, the New York Post and the Wall Street Journal, on March 20, 2019 in New York City, New York. Disney acquired Fox today in a $71.3 million deal. (Photo by Kevin Hagen/Getty Images)
    How Fox News covered the Woodward recordings of Trump
    This is why political campaigns feel free to lie in TV ads
    Bill Carter: Dueling town halls are a disservice to voters
    CHARLESTON, SOUTH CAROLINA – FEBRUARY 25: Democratic presidential candidate former South Bend, Indiana Mayor Pete Buttigieg arrives on stage for the Democratic presidential primary debate at the Charleston Gaillard Center on February 25, 2020 in Charleston, South Carolina. Seven candidates qualified for the debate, hosted by CBS News and Congressional Black Caucus Institute. (Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images)
    See Pete Buttigieg’s viral Fox News moments
    WASHINGTON, DC – OCTOBER 05: U.S. President Donald Trump stands on the Truman Balcony after returning to the White House from Walter Reed National Military Medical Center on October 05, 2020 in Washington, DC. Trump spent three days hospitalized for coronavirus. (Photo by Win McNamee/Getty Images)
    Trump claims immunity, negative test without providing evidence
    Friedman: Trump running a campaign on 2 tracks simultaneously
    Dr. Sanjay Gupta discusses Trump’s coughing on Fox News
    Fox Tucker
    How Fox News and Trump are spinning lethality of Covid-19
    Chris Wallace delivers a blunt warning to Fox News viewers
    Chris Wallace debate
    Chris Wallace says Trump is ‘responsible’ for chaotic debate

    New York (CNN Business)When NBC set out to schedule a television town hall with President Trump, the top priorities were safety and parity with Trump’s challenger Joe Biden.
    The network’s Biden town hall went off without a hitch in Miami, Florida on October 5. NBC’s plans for Trump are almost identical: The same outdoor venue in Miami, the same 8 p.m. time slot, the same 60-minute allotment of time.
    But there is one big difference: ABC already announced it will be holding a town hall with Biden at the same time on the same night.
    So now NBC is “giving Trump exactly what he wants,” in the words of one exasperated senior staffer: a made-by-TV rivalry between the president and Biden.

    NBC is hearing a chorus of criticism for its scheduling decision — from liberal activists, working journalists, professors, former NBC executives, and even some current NBC Entertainment stars.
    Some staffers inside NBC News and MSNBC are also perturbed by the decision, with some likening it to collusion between the Trump campaign and the network, sources said. No one from the news division has publicly criticized the move.
    The dueling town halls will air Thursday at 8 p.m. Eastern time, on the same night that the Commission on Presidential Debates was originally scheduled to hold a town hall-style debate between Trump and Biden.
    Now, instead, the two men will talk past each other on competing networks.
    “Having dueling town halls is bad for democracy,” former NBC “Today” show star Katie Couric tweeted Wednesday. “Voters should be able to watch both and I don’t think many will. This will be good for Trump because people like to watch his unpredictability. This is a bad decision.”
    Let’s take a step way back and see how this conflict erupted.
    The town hall business
    Television networks compete to hold individual town halls with presidential candidates, both during the primaries and during the general election. This concept pre-dates Trump.
    The networks run commercials in and around the town halls, but executives say these events are not primarily profit- or ratings-driven — rather, they are part of a news division’s mission to cover the campaigns. There were several occasions during the primaries this cycle when CNN town halls with lesser-known candidates were ratings drags, not boons.
    Trump toots his ratings horn all the time, but he is not an automatic audience magnet either. ABC’s town hall with Trump in mid-September averaged a modest 3.8 million viewers. (When NBC held back-to-back events with Trump and Hillary Clinton in September 2016, more than 10 million tuned in.)
    The president also held a town hall on Fox News in May, but the ABC event was his only televised town hall so far this fall.
    ABC said Biden had been extended a similar invitation, but had not accepted it yet.
    Biden, instead, participated in a town hall on CNN later that same week. Then Biden participated in the October 5 event on NBC. Both networks said Trump was welcome to accept a similar invitation.
    Trump, of course, has trashed both CNN and NBC for several years — to the point that some journalists have been placed in danger — and has attacked the parent companies of both news organizations.
    Nevertheless, tenets of journalistic fairness mean that the president is more than welcome to participate in a town hall, even if that is to the dismay of many viewers. Of course, usually candidate town halls aren’t directly competing with one another.
    Thursday night competition
    ABC’s offer to Biden and NBC’s offer to Trump both loomed large when the bipartisan debate commission — under pressure to enforce Covid-19 safety standards — announced on October 8 that its planned town hall-style debate on October 15 would be held virtually. At the time, the president was recovering from coronavirus.
    Without consulting with the campaigns, the commission said that candidates and questioners would be in different locations, and would be connected via a control room, the way television newscasts are.
    Trump immediately bristled at the virtual format and said he would not attend the debate. The Biden campaign said Biden was still willing to debate, but aides lined up a backup option: a town hall on ABC.
    A debate-over-the-debate ensued, and the next day the debate commission scrapped the event altogether, which meant the ABC town hall would move forward.
    In the eyes of both ABC and NBC News executives, the canceled debate created a hole in the schedules of the two candidates, and they wanted to fill it.
    On the evening of Friday the 9th, Trump campaign senior adviser Jason Miller said Trump had his own town hall in the works: “We’re actually going to be on multiple networks at the same time” as Biden, Miller said, adding, “We’re gonna have a much bigger audience than Joe.”
    Sources at NBC confirmed that a Miami town hall was in the works, but the event was conditioned on the president proving that he was no longer contagious with the virus.
    Although Miller said Trump’s town hall would take place “at the same time,” ABC had not yet announced its Biden town hall time slot.
    Executives at NBC expected that ABC would schedule Biden at 9 p.m., since ABC’s Trump town hall had started at 9, and it seemed logical. NBC’s planners were eyeing the 8 p.m. time slot since that’s when their Biden event took place.
    But ABC announced on Sunday morning that Biden would be on from 8 to 9:30 p.m. on Thursday. ABC’s reasoning: It was planning on an hour of pre-debate coverage at 8 p.m. that night. So the news division already had blocked off the time.

    ABC is also going to run a half hour of analysis after the Biden event from 9:30 until 10 p.m.

    A half hour Biden-for-President infomercial, then.

    • prolefeed

      TL/DR. Try not to post a wall of text.

      • Cancelled

        Bossy

    • Heroic Mulatto

      Jesus fucking Christ, dude.

    • Swiss Servator

      Dude…try a link, instead of the text avalanche.

    • Chafed

      Ken Schultz is embarrassed by the length of your post.

    • Tulip

      I missed the avatar at the top. I was sure this was Donation not Taxation.

  25. The Late P Brooks

    Wow. I have no idea what happened, there. I wuz hacked!

    • Sean

      Damn Russians…

      • Count Potato

        Ken was Russian?

    • Cancelled

      Were those all supposed to be separate posts?

    • Heroic Mulatto

      Jesus fucking Christ, squirrels!

    • pan fried wylie

      It was a disservice to P Brookses.

  26. Drake

    L.A. Lakers Hold Victory Parade In Beijing

    The parade will feature a full military display of marching soldiers, tanks, and ballistic missiles with the phrase #BlackLivesMatter painted on the side. The main attraction will be a beautiful purple and gold L.A. Lakers parade float pulled by smiling Uyghur prisoners.

  27. commodious spittoon

    Someday we’ll get all our news from Pornhub.

    • Cancelled

      Less biased pobably

    • The Other Kevin

      Every headline will include the word “stepmom”.

    • Chafed

      Stand back from the weather woman.

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        It’s about to turn hot and steamy.

  28. grrizzly

    Barron Trump had coronavirus.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      The news is reporting that Melania said he was asymptomatic.

      But we should keep the schools closed. Just in case.

      • Cancelled

        We should close schools anytime a child becomes ill. It only makes sense.

  29. The Other Kevin

    Super sad at the TOK household today. We got our youngest via a private adoption (mom and dad were only 17). We had an open adoption, and we’ve become good friends with birth mom. Birth mom is now married and has a 2 year old boy who we see all the time. She was due to have a girl next month, but today she lost the baby. She’s coming over to tell my daughter soon. I can’t even imagine how that will go, my kid was so looking forward to having a baby sister.

    Things like this really put things into perspective, but they also remind you there are definitely things worth fighting for.

    • Cancelled

      I’m sorry man.

    • Count Potato

      Sorry 🙁

    • EvilSheldon

      Aw man. I’m sorry for that.

    • DEG

      Sorry.

    • Spudalicious

      That sucks.

    • Sean

      Sorry.

    • Heroic Mulatto

      SHUT THE FUCK UP, LOLBERT!

      • Cancelled

        All those exotic women for you and nary an ass to be seen. So close and yet so far away.

      • prolefeed

        The Columbian x Australian and the Spanish x Indonesian and the Italian x Mexican and the … would beg to differ.

        But, yeah, a lot more butts would have been fine.

    • Count Potato

      No Portuguese X anything? Or that would be too easy?

      • prolefeed

        Try copying the original link from the “saved from” part of https://i.thechive.com/Sammy_T., and then pasting into a new tab. Hundreds of women, at least some part Portuguese.

    • DEG

      I’ll be in my bunk.

    • ruodberht

      Most predicates are vague, so

  30. Rebel Scum

    I can’t wait for the first Biden war.

    “I am deeply concerned by the collapse of the October 10 ceasefire and the resumption of fighting in and around Nagorno-Karabakh. Drones, mortars, and long-range artillery are claiming hundreds of lives on both sides of the line of contact and displacing thousands of civilians,” Biden said.

    “Inexplicably, the Trump Administration has been largely passive, and disengaged, throughout this recent period of escalation,” Biden accused. “Since the outbreak of hostilities on September 27, neither President Trump nor Secretary of State [Mike] Pompeo has placed a single phone call to the leaders of Armenia and Azerbaijan, even as the region goes up in flames.”

    “Rather than delegating the diplomacy to Moscow, the administration must get more involved, at the highest levels, by working with our European partners to de-escalate the fighting and return the two sides to negotiations,” Biden asserted. “The Trump Administration must tell Azerbaijan that it will not tolerate its efforts to impose a military solution to this conflict. It must make clear to Armenia that regions surrounding Nagorno-Karabakh cannot be occupied indefinitely and that credible negotiations on a lasting resolution of the conflict must commence immediately once a ceasefire is concluded.”

    “Finally, it must stop coddling Ankara and tell both Turkey and Iran to stay out of this conflict,” Biden concluded.

    • leon

      “Finally, it must stop coddling Ankara and tell both Turkey and Iran to stay out of this conflict,” Biden concluded.

      We have to stick our noses in there to tell those other guys to mind their own business.

    • commodious spittoon

      If there’s one thing the past twenty years have taught us, it’s that intervention mitigates future interventions.

    • Dr. Fronkensteen

      I thought the Obama administration said we should manage the decline of American power? Is Biden reversing the course of the Obama administration?

    • Agent Cooper

      The electorate is certainly itching for another foreign escapade. I think one side just has to disagree with other on every possible front.

  31. The Late P Brooks

    Were those all supposed to be separate posts?

    I thought I was quoting the last two sentences, only. And my “half hour Biden-for-President ad” comment.

    Oops. I blame CNN.

    • leon

      P Brooks is DNT Confirmed.

    • The Other Kevin

      Don’t blame Twitter, they only take away, not add.

    • Cancelled

      You’re a Montanan right? You have a damn pretty State! (hat tips to Idahoes and Wyomen as well)

  32. The Late P Brooks

    Barron Trump had coronavirus.

    White House Patient Zero!

  33. SugarFree

    For those at work or just too cowardly, here is the outline of Cardi B’s mutant nipple:

    • Mad Scientist

      That’s not an areola. That’s the flying parasite from Deneva.

      • SugarFree

        And it doesn’t really give you the scale. It’s like 1/3rd the surface area of her giant fake boob.

    • Cancelled

      Her face looks like she was in a head on crash with no seat belt and had her skull smashed in and then had multiple operations to put it back together. Nothing quite fits.

    • Trolleric the Goth

      wow, searched this on my phone. Jesus. What happened?!

      • SugarFree

        I think she tried to tow a car with them.

    • bacon-magic

      I clicked on your original link…no way that’s not something you created in your secret lab.

      • SugarFree

        Anything that turns out like that gets sent to the pigs.

      • pan fried wylie

        Pigs won’t actually eat ANYTHING.

    • mexican sharpshooter

      That’s an amoeba.

    • SugarFree

      Facebook banned it first.

    • leon

      Who is Barbara Streisand?

    • Ownbestenemy

      LOL. The whole story itself can be partially false, but Facebook and Twitter doing what they did, just did the Republicans/Trump a favor.

    • kbolino

      How do you do real-time fact checking of a breaking story? This whole thing is so silly, they’ve been riding hot takes and breaking news for a decade plus but NOW they want to pump the brakes?

      • Ownbestenemy

        I am assuming that is a rhetorical question.

      • leon

        earn to code!

      • Grumbletarian

        M

      • Ownbestenemy

        I

    • Cancelled

      Not enough misspellings in the card. I vote hoax.

  34. Stinky Wizzleteats

    This Biden scandal has to be the funniest scandal I’ve ever seen. Sonny boy asleep with a crack pipe in his mouth. Emails indicating you flat out lied about your past dealings with Ukrainian officials. And all because they too damn stupid to pick up a repaired computer that was full of incriminating shit. Obama was right: Never underestimate Joe’s ability to fuck things up.

    • leon

      It would have been better if they had brought him in as a witness to the Impeachment trial and he had lied there.

  35. LJW

    This whole Biden email story is weird.

    Did anyone actually verify the email address ties to the executive? It’s a Gmail address.

    Did anyone actually verify the email is legit?

    It’s interesting that they had compromising photos of Biden, but the emails seem fake.

    The FBI agent who picked up the laptop is an agent who works in child pornography investigations.

    The Mac repair shop owner is a huge Trump supporter.

    I think their is good reason to question this story.

    • LJW

      I think there* stupid phone

    • Ownbestenemy

      Oh absolutely people should question it, but the Socials doing what they did are going to ensure it gets spread wider and talked about more than it would have been.

      • The Hyperbole

        Impossible, if it’s not on Twitter, Facebook, or CNN no one ever hears about it. I in fact have no idea what you people are talking about.

      • Ownbestenemy

        Cardi Bs tit slug…keep up

    • leon

      For sure, I would be skeptical. It’s interesting though, the reaction from Facebook and Twitter, when they had no problem promoting the story about Trump calling marines “Suckers”. I guess the lesson is, if you can get someone to anonymously allege something, this is the most unassailable form of truth out there.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        I guess the lesson is, if you can get someone to anonymously allege something, this is the most unassailable form of truth out there. the left will enforce and violate any principle at any time as dictated by the opportunity for them to gain power

      • leon

        pretty much. I still sometimes am flabbergasted by the hypocrisy

      • Drake

        “do not forget that these people want you broke, dead, your kids raped and brainwashed, and they think it’s funny,”
        – Sam Hyde

        That’s the lesson.

    • Count Potato

      Question? sure. Censor? no.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      I was working at an internet security company during the 2004 election. The DNC was one of our customers. The day of the election they had a support issue, and the guy from the DNC was on the phone telling us how he had a bunch of lawyers ready to roll if we didn’t fix the issue. I’m guessing Twitter and Facebook have received many similar calls from the DNC, and if they don’t get them now, it’s because they’ve been trained.

    • LJW

      If I had to guess the shop owner somehow obtained compromising photos of Biden. Using a subpoena from a macbook he discovered child porn on. He drummed up some fake emails paired them with the picture and claimed it was from a laptop the FBI took.

      • Stinky Wizzleteats

        That’s a hell of a guess, how did you come up with that?

      • LJW

        Just one of the variation of ideas I have based off of the info I have found.

      • Cancelled

        The line is “Sources close to the shop owner indicated that…”

    • grrizzly

      “Отправлено с iPhone” looks genuine. That’s what an e-mail sent from an iPhone where Russian is the default language would say. Notice, Russian not Ukrainian. Would the repair shop owner be aware of this nuance? That Russian makes it more plausible than Ukrainian even though it was sent by a Ukrainian sender.

  36. The Late P Brooks

    Gotcha

    White House officials have promoted a declaration supporting herd immunity that has reportedly been signed by fake names, The New York Times reported Tuesday.

    ——-

    “Current lockdown policies are producing devastating effects on short and long-term public health,” the declaration states.

    “The most compassionate approach that balances the risks and benefits of reaching herd immunity, is to allow those who are at minimal risk of death to live their lives normally to build up immunity to the virus through natural infection, while better protecting those who are at highest risk.”

    The declaration has been signed by 445,902 concerned citizens, 9,510 medical and public health scientists and 25,049 medical practitioners, according to its website. But Sky News found last week that dozens of fake names had signed the document, including Dr. I.P. Freely, Dr. Person Fakename and Dr. Johnny Bananas.

    Another signatory called himself Dr. Harold Shipman, a general practitioner in the United Kingdom. In 1998, a man named Harold Shipman was arrested after killing more than 200 of his patients.

    This murderous fakery has been completely debunked. Those fake names refute the concept, in its entirety.

    Case closed.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      “Dozens”
      So somewhere less than one in 4500 or so if you figure about a hundred. Who gives a fuck?

    • RAHeinlein

      I hope the NYT checks ballots just as diligently.

    • Stinky Wizzleteats

      Then again, I just pulled it up…maybe fake news. My apologies…

    • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

      “Now we know changing all the books to Berenstain was leading up to this”

      ??

  37. LCDR_Fish

    All in favor of Gal Gadot playing Cleopatra. I just don’t think she can hold a candle to Monica Bellucci is all.

    • Drake

      In reality, she might be a couple shades darker than the real Cleopatra. I never understood the fascination with Cleopatra. She was a homicidal sociopath – batshit crazy even by our current standards.

    • Agent Cooper

      Monica Bellucci – Le Pacte Des Loups. Yummy.

  38. LCDR_Fish

    Handyman ranking rising….

    Managed to patch one leak in my sump pump hose successfully. Will verify again tomorrow.

    Of course I can now see another 5+ leaks further down the hose (at least further from the house) – I do recall seeing those much earlier this year – guess the close-in puncture was just in the last couple months. Guess I’ll need to buy a lot more of the sealing tape and some marking tape too.

    • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

      WFT is her point? There was nothing in the Constitution making it illegal either, and it was later amended, using the amendment process in the Constitution itself, to guarantee their right to vote? Does she think she’s making some clever argument to ignore the Constitution? I guess it’s clever in the sense that people will buy it, but it’s also complete bullshit.

    • Cancelled

      Nothing in Article III ever prevented women from serving on the Court. It was the unwillingness of Democrat Presidents to appoint women that prevented it.

    • The Gunslinger

      I got an email today from our school superintendent. They are going to form a committee to look into whether the mascot is not Inclusive enough. The name of the city is Holland and the mascot is Dutch. It really raised my blood pressure.

      • Drake

        Got your Dutch up?

      • The Gunslinger

        Yup

      • B.P.

        Well, we’ve determined that our mascot wasn’t inclusive enough. Introducing the new mascot: The Holland Everybodies!

        Compromise mascot names: The Holland Daisesauce; The Holland Oates

      • The Gunslinger

        So you’re willing to offend people that don’t like sauce or crappy pop music?

      • Ted S.

        Holland Oates isn’t K-crap, so it’s got that going for it.

      • B.P.

        The Holland Tunnels?

        Everyone likes tunnels.

      • Agent Cooper

        Crappy pop music?

        Them’s fightin’ words.

      • Mostly Peaceful JaimeRoberto

        Good thing it’s not the Flying Dutchmen. It would be exclusionary toward those who can’t fly.

      • The Gunslinger

        Ackshually the local college is the Flying Dutchmen. So problematic.

      • Rhywun

        ^

        Got a good laugh from the headline, though.

    • pan fried wylie

      Everyone loves fried chicken. You’re a moron, kill yourself.

      • Cancelled

        And everyone is racist. Coincidence? I think not!

    • Tres Cool

      I think I found your problem, lady:

      “Back then, I’d promised myself that as soon as I was old enough, I’d eat fried chicken all the time. Only, by the time I made the move to London in 2000, with its countless chicken shops, I’d read about the inhumane conditions most birds destined for fast-food fryers were subjected to, so my trips to them were rare, often preceded by alcohol and always succeeded by guilt.”

      • Tres Cool

        From the next paragraph:

        “I’d muse that if only someone opened a shop serving southern fried chicken, but using free-range birds, they would make a KILLING.”

        Oh, how I live irony.

      • Cancelled

        When you kill a free range hen you end a happy and contented life. When you kill a battery hen you free a suffering being from a tormented existence. You should only eat factory farmed birds.

      • Tres Cool

        ain’t no thang but a chicken wang, amirite ?

      • Tres Cool

        The Donovan sample is it’s most redeeming quality/

    • EvilSheldon

      About five years ago, my father and I found out that my mother had never eaten fried chicken, in all her *ahem* years. Her stick-up-the-ass West Orange Irish Catholic family considered fried chicken ‘low-class’, with all the subtext that implies.

      Fortunately, central VA has some decent chicken places when you get off the Interstate. We managed to fix that gap in her experience that same evening.

      So remember, there are people out there, maybe friends or even loved ones, who have never know the joys of fried chicken. Be aware!

      • Count Potato

        I’ve had fried chicken from dozens of places. I still like homemade the best. It’s just economically unfeasible for a fried chicken joint to use plain vegetable oil.

    • pan fried wylie

      Explain how I’m spose to fuck a single slice of pie. I’m waiting.

      • SugarFree

        You go in through the side.

      • pan fried wylie

        *articulates compass against slice of pie in different orientations*

        *consults whiteboard with extensive pie diagrams*

        Which side?

      • SugarFree

        Either of the long edges. Or the crust with lube. Never the tip. That’s gay.

      • Cancelled

        Unless it is a highschool pie in which case you have to approach it promising just the tip.

    • leon

      good. Thus always to pumpkin pie

      • EvilSheldon

        Thank you. Pumpkin pie is the Black Album of pies.

    • Tres Cool

      I thought Hol Pieh was that Korean pr0n actress.

      • Scruffy Nerfherder

        I don’t know why I find that hilarious, but I do.

  39. Ownbestenemy

    On a normal note. First 3lb slab of pork belly in the ice box starting its 7-day cure. I two more 3lb slabs that I am going to do a 5-day no curing salt cure on also.

    Lots and lots of bacon

    • Ayn Random Variation

      Nobody needs 3 pounds of pork, bigot.

      But seriously that sounds awesome.

    • DEG

      Yummy.

      • Ownbestenemy

        The two smoke cured ones are really good. Made that last time. The dry-cure one is a new recipe I found on the webs.

        Been harder to find fruit woods around Vegas at reasonable prices but with fall coming, hope that changes.

  40. The Bearded Hobbit
    • Ownbestenemy

      Oh no…he will move…what ever will we do.

      • Ayn Random Variation

        What’s up with threatening to go to Greece? Hanks did something similar.

    • Cancelled

      They never leave. They promise to leave, but they lie.

      • DEG

        And yet, I still manage to get my hopes up that they will leave.

    • Tulip

      Yes, yes we’ll all miss that violent piece of garbage

    • The Hyperbole

      With his money he doesn’t already have homes all over the globe already? He’s “Rock and Roll Hero”-ing wrong.

      • Cancelled

        He spent it on flamboyant whores and drugs. He did it correctly.

      • The Hyperbole

        I’ll give you the drugs point, but million dollar beach homes/Alpine chalets/Big City Penthouses should come with the whores included.

      • zwak

        No, you get a yacht.

        Because of the implication.

      • Ayn Random Variation

        The worst part of being old is seeing the same shit over and over again. What is happening now isn’t much different than 2007-2008 with Bush Hitler. Just like the Iraq war and Cindy Sheehan were disappeared from the American consciousness, I expect the rona and lockdowns to go away in December when Biden is temporarily installed

      • prolefeed

        If only. If a bully is slapping the back of your head on a school bus every day, and you decide to reward that behavior by giving him $10 and asking he take that as a one time payment for stopping, which scenario would you expect:

        1) He gratefully pockets the money and leaves you alone.

        2) He keeps hitting you every day, and also starts shaking you down for money every day, and other kids start bullying you hoping for some of the lucre.

        I had something like that happen in high school, and I applied the Iron Law – I punched him in the face as hard as I could once, then deflected his attempts to hit back, until the adults showed up.

        No one fucked with me ever again, and not just in high school.

    • EvilSheldon

      Damn, that is some desperate attention-seeking. Whatsa matter, Tommy, your house under water on the mortgage?

      • The Hyperbole

        I get that he’s a maroon, but he was asked to give an interview and answered the questions they asked him. It’s not like, out of the blue, he decided to put out a press release.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        Yes, but millions of people every day answer questions posed to them without sounding that stupid.

      • The Hyperbole

        Meh, stupid answer or not, the “attention whore”/”look at MEEE!!!” bit that is often deployed when a “celebrity” says something asinine in an interview is weak tea. It’s not like he put out a PSA or unsolicited junk mail/spam campaign. The only reason you (the royal you the editorial you) know about it is because you chose to read a “news” story about it.

      • SUPREME OVERLORD trshmnstr

        you chose to read a “news” story about it.

        You insult me. Assuming I actually read the links? What kind of Glib would that make me??

      • EvilSheldon

        What, you actually expect me to read a Fox News article for context? As opposed to dashing off a snarky one-liner on my way to mix another Whiskey Sour?

      • The Hyperbole

        I hold you, and all Glibs, to a very high standard, irregardless of what girly drink of choice you imbibe.

      • Mad Scientist

        The Irregardless Standard!

      • EvilSheldon

        ‘Irregardless’ isn’t a word. You mean ‘regardless.’ If I’m to be held to a high standard, then I reserve the right of pedantry.

        And Neil Armstrong drank Whiskey Sours. Good enough for him, good enough for me.

      • Cancelled

        If the list of worlds you have walked on has a second entry you can drink pink ladies without being girly. If not, putting bar mix in your whiskey is tantamount to balls touching.

      • But Enough About My Wild Culinary Fantasies

        Whiskey Sours are the tits.

        And KKristen intrigued me with her Devil-talk about Aviators, so . . .

      • But Enough About My Wild Culinary Fantasies

        Who uses bar mix in a Whiskey Sour?

      • Cancelled

        Bar mix is simple syrup plus lemon. Mixing it yourself may make you feel all fancy and special but it’s sugar water mixed with lemon juice however you snoot it up. And however fancy your bar may be it has fruit flies in it that they strain out.

      • UnCivilServant

        I think the ratio of water, sugar and lemon are different.

      • Count Potato

        Ackshually, most bar mix has as much real lemon as Country Time Lemonade.

      • KOVIDKristen

        Tryna find someone that lives or works near Laurel MD and who regularly visits Alexandria VA to bring me some maraschino liqueur from Total Wine. I haven’t had occassion to get up that way in years.

      • Count Potato

        The ratio of water, sugar and citric acid is different.

      • Cancelled

        Lemonade with 3 times the sugar. Bar lemon, bar mix, collins mix, or for the fancy lemon juice +simple syrup, whatever you want to call it, is cloying and thick with sugar.

      • EvilSheldon

        Sorry, Cancelled, I can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome my drink tastes.

      • The Hyperbole

        If I were smarter and wrote more well, I could make the case that “Irregardless” is not only a word but it’s mere existence shews what makes “words” “words”, ala “meaning ‘s have words” and what not, “irregardless” may be the lynchpin that proves why “words” are words. Unfortunately, while I instinctive know that this is true I don’t have the necessary tools to properly articulate it.

      • Count Potato

        Also, the “fancy” old timey method of making a whiskey sour did not use simple syrup — too much water. It used superfine “bar” sugar. Finer than granulated sugar, but not as fine as confectioners.

      • EvilSheldon

        KOVIDKristen – Luxardo okay? You can get it in most of the local shitty state-run ABCs. I have a few Luxardo cherries in Whisky Sour #3…

      • Cancelled

        How can you be a hyper traditionalist purist about italian peasant food and approve of ‘irregardless’, which is the linguistic equivalent of Carbonara made with cream and vinegar and no cheese?

      • KOVIDKristen

        @Evil

        I have looked in a couple ABC stores to no avail. Total Wine in Alexandria doesn’t have it. 🙁

      • Count Potato

        “It’s called castor sugar in Europe.”

        Thanks, I did not know that.

      • Hyperion

        “Neil Armstrong drank Whiskey Sours”

        The question is, did he drink one on the moon? And if so, did he make it with Tang?

    • KOVIDKristen

      OMG

    • Mad Scientist

      What Kristen really needs is a control tower on top of a ski slope. And the airport up there, among other things, launches helicopters that Kristen will use to fire concussion shells for avalanche control. The helicopters will be flown by hunky, shirtless men with loose morals.

      • But Enough About My Wild Culinary Fantasies

        Or chunky, moralless men with loose shirts.

      • KOVIDKristen

        Or this

      • KOVIDKristen

        JFC, man! Perhaps y’all know me too well…

  41. westernsloper

    For those who haven’t braved a peek yet, imagine an areola stretch past all sane tolerances, like a hide being scrapped before tanning, the edges horrifically crenelated.

    First time I ever had to look up a word in a description of tits.

    • Cancelled

      Your keep doesn’t have a crenelated tower? Does it at least have murder holes?

      • westernsloper

        Dood, I am white trash. My keep has a fence made from scrap wood I was going to take to the dump right before I decided to build a fence. As to murder holes, I do have those. I murder the ground hogs who like to tunnel under my slab but the little fuckers are persistent.

      • Cancelled

        The guys building keeps were white trash before white trash got civilized. They hung their fancy clothes in the crapper, which was a hole in the floor, because the smell kept the moths off. They fed their dogs at the table, by throwing hunks of gristle and bone to them. They feuded with their neighbors to the point that they needed crenelated towers and murder holes. Nothing says “git off mah lawn” like a cauldron of boiling lead!

      • The Hyperbole

        Liar! No white trash has ever taken scrap wood to the dump, Burned it in an old 55 gallon drum, stacked it on the far side of the garage till it was the far side of the garage, or tossed it over the fence onto the common property? sure but “took to the dump” no way.

      • westernsloper

        The far side of the shop is mostly full to the ceiling. Or was, I burned a bunch in the stove last winter. This was all wood from that scrap pile plus the sides I had on my flatbed trailer that are now rotting in my “yard” being almost the ugliest fence in the county. I don’t burn plywood in my wood burner and I don’t do backyard burning of plywood because that is just nasty. I was in a de-cluttering mode. I got over it and built an ugly fence.

      • Surly Knott

        Fun factoid: my high school had crenellations towers.

  42. Hyperion

    In case you haven’t had your fill of derp toady. Here’s the daily Steam forums derpity doo herp durrr.

    Stop depicting humans and particularly non white people as [Insert fantasy race here].
    No one group of humans IRL has ever asked to be depicted as elves, orcs, goblins or anything else as such.

    There is nothing more or less positive about having my racial features depicted as a troll or a gibberling.

    Stop misappropriating (ethnic) people in such a harmful way. None of us want our features being abused in such a way to depict any form of non human characters.

    Stop relying on polls and opinions that are mostly ran and answered by white people to determine what other white people think that non white people want.

    I had to add some formatting to make it readable, but it’s still word for word. Post was locked and the shithead is banned now. Bu it’s amazing people actually write this tripe on the internet.

    But then again, NYT publishes worse and the person writing it gets a Pulitzer. We’re doomed as a species.